Political Wire asks, we answer!
Republican convention planners appear to have a surprise planned for those tuning in Thursday night, the Wall Street Journal reports.
“Buried deep in the convention schedule released Monday is a vague reference to a mystery speaker scheduled for the event’s final evening. ‘To Be Announced’ has a prime speaking slot late in the Thursday program.”
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{ 277 comments }
Hologram Hitler?
Say, you know who else was a hologram?
Jem's band?
Emperor Palpatine?
Arnold Rimmer?
YES
Rimmer
Voyager's Doctor?
Tupac?
Nat King Cole?
Evil Abraham Lincoln?
Jambi the Genie on Pee Wee's Playhouse?
Princess Leia?
Milli Vanilli?
Not only weren't they really singing, they weren't even there.
Shit will get really weird when he says "yo what up Coachelllllaaaaa!"
I'm guessing someone who also belongs to the "Lemon Party". (Don't go there)
/ / / / Googles "Lemon Party". Head explodes!
Nonsense, Hitler is way too RINO.
That lady up there in the pink bikini?
Her skin is way too dark.
And her dick isn't big enough, but she could bring us sammiches.
Haven't you seen The Crying Game?
Isn't it a bit premature for Boehner to do a bio? But, uh, no…. I haven't it.
A 60's tan, before there was skin cancer. Bain De Soleil for the San Tropez tan!!!
Takes me back to the days of going Down the Shore with a bottle of baby oil — you know, so we'd burn faster.
Good times, and then some rum and coke and necking under the boardwalk.
Baby oil with iodine in it to stain our skin if it didn't burn fast enough. And tequila sunrises! Woo hoo!
The Blah dude behind the door is also dressed for the beach. Coincidence? I think not…
Eascey Mon. Tey bot' fro Jamaica mon.
Irie!
Late on Thursday?
Won't most of the base be asleep by then? I know I will. Or I'll be tuned into TNA Wrest–
HULK HOGAN!
Hulk Hogan is still alive? WTF….
Janine Turner
Nope, she's on tonight.
So? Northern Exposure spent years in re-runs. She's used to it.
You guys! It's gotta be JEEBUS!
He'd get tossed out so fast it would be amazing
But that's ok by him. He's the one famous for saying he'd never fit in with any club that'd have him as a member, right?
Jeebus is America's most famous Marxist!
Bearded gent from the Middle East, wearing robes and constantly going on about how he can talk to God? He'd never make it onto the plane to Florida, never mind as far as the convention.
Will He be riding a dinosaur?
Or hovering over a lighthouse?:
http://www.emilysgifts.com/thomaskinkade/913003.h…
Like this?
http://politicalmemes.blogspot.nl/2012/08/jesus-i…
It'd have to be Buddy Jesus, channeling his inner frat guy:
"Yo, Blessed are the job creators, for they have all the bucks!"
"Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers – was prolly a big waste of time, dude.'
(Holds up his quart bottle of PBR) "Hold on a sec, I'm gonna see if I can turn this shit into a magnum of Cristal."
"Do unto others … and run like hell.
Standing ovation from that crowd.
My guess is that Lou Sarah shows up wearing a sweater and a bathing suit, shoots death rays from her new glasses and burns everyone up like ants under a magnifying glass. Then Levi is brought in and is forced to marry Bristol and everyone goes to Waffle House for the reception.
Either that, or they let Donald Trump speak. Both scenarios are equally devastating.
Donald Trump has been talking about some "big surprise" he has coming at the RNC, which some bloggers have figured is likely a video where he "fires" an Obama impersonator; so that probably really is it. Lame.
Weren't we the first people to speculate that's what it was? I mean, it was kinda the obvious thing, and he was recently seen with an Obama impersonater, so that is pretty much definitely what it was going to be, but I could swear that that was a WONKETE EXCLUSIVE MUST CREDIT WONKET speculation.
RNC oppo research probably reads Wonkette just to get ideas like this.
Okay, shhhhh you guys!
"Donald Trump has been talking about some "big surprise" he has coming at the RNC … "
His hair stands up and runs away? He admits that multiple bankruptcies =/= financial genius? He helps Rosie O'Donnell have a gay abortion?
INQUIRING MINDS WANNA KNOW!!!!
I would bet you too, but all my money is offshore, at least I blindly trust that it is. You will just have to take my word for it. You people have seen all you are going to see of my panties, er, finances.
I'm so sure it's Trump, I'll bet ten million Mitt-dollars.
I'll bet you no less than 13% of that …
You know the exchange rate between dollars and Mitt-dollars is like 100,000:1 right?
Why should I care when I'm betting someone else's money?
Lou Sarah shows up wearing a
sweater and a bathing suitStars 'n' Stripes bikiniI'm afraid they're going to Mystery Date Rape me.
Weird, I was going to say a Holographic Zombie Reagan, too!
Are you trying to call down the wrath of Ronald?????
Welease Woddewick!
Well, if you get preggers from it, it will be YOUR fault! Cause you know, legitamate rape, shut it down….etc
Yes, I was thinking that the whole "Mystery Speaker" thing had a little too much of a creepy, touchy, too long of a huggy uncle, sort of vibe. Well, yeah, like the G.O.P. and their rapist and incest baby obsession, sure… so Mystery Date Rape fits well. Good Call!
Wonder what they use for roofies.
My first guess: Roofies.
Second guess: Tax cuts + roofies
Tim Pawlenty.
Aldo Nova?
Fantasy Libelz!!!
So forget all that you see
It's not reality, it's just a fantasy
sounds like willard's campaign platform, alright.
One of the Oogieloves?
All of them will appear with the cast of "TopShots", who will then proceed to execute them one by one as they flee into the audience.
I'm one Oogieloves ad away from punching through my laptop screen.
All of the Oogieloves.
Great; more nightmare fuel for tonight.
Victoria Jackson will be entertained.
May my granddaughter never discover that game.
In an attempt to showcase their party's diversity, the GOP will bring in a poor black Jewish disabled lesbian to speak briefly about how millionaires getting tax breaks will help her feed her children.
Feed them to what, exactly? The velociraptor-like Wingnut Wife prototypes, Ann and Calista?
Rafalca the Dressage Horse.
With Newt Gingrich carrying a shovel.
Oh? It's nice that he's found work.
his new job is not dissimilar to the entire rest of his career, but less divisive and hateful.
That would be SO COOL
AHH-nold makes a cameo and calls Barry O a "girly man"
The Angel Moroni?
Sarah Palin.
"Kitt"
Jesus..
They needed someone with a brain.
Yes, of course KITT!!…It stood for Knight-Industries-Two-Thousand…Who didn't know that?
Santorum on bath salts.
Who can tell the difference?
I think they're going to hold a "legitimate" rape on stage to prove that girl parts can fight the legitimate sperm.
Either the Convention, or Mythbusters.
But oh to find a "legitimate" Repub girl to rape? No, wait a minute…
Megz, nooooooooooooo!
I think a group lead period of introspection on when the Republican Party jumped the shark followed by a 45 minute crying jag.
There would have to be a LOT of something in the water.
"Introspection"?
Not only do Rs not know what that means, I'd be amazed if they could even spell it.
Romney paid to have Osama's body dredged up – it will be on display for everyone to have their picture taken with.
Romney: "I'll take a lot of credit for Bin Laden's death"
Will it be a DREAM? (OOHHH!) or a DUD? (Waaa Waaa!)
Bobby Ewing?
Some butthole that nobody cares about?
Donald Trump is gonna "yer-fired" an Obama impersonator.
Maddow called this last Friday, and Rhodes Scholar Lesbians in jeans and sport coat are never wrong about this kind of thing.
She got it from Pareene, who I am pretty damned sure got it from HERE in my comments!
Yea, I
read your postposted about this weeks ago.Then we should share the Internet-Bucks for discovering it!!
Oooh, sorry, I spent the Bitcoin…
Nah-ah. I wrote a choose-your-own-adventure novella about this in 1982.
David Duke.
Orly Taitz and the Birthers singing ♪♫ Chain of Foolz ♫♪ ?
Dave Mustaine and Ted Nugent
Jeff Dunham? Doing his new "Reagan Zombie Puppet" routine?
They will roll Rush Limbaugh out on a gigantic dolly and he will awe the attendees with his flatulence for 2 hours.
They already have Christie…
His asking price was too high, he wanted all of the ham.
Well he is unique in that he can sustain it coming from both ends for the entire two hours.
It is amazing. He farts from both ends while drinking a glass of water.
Le Petomaine libel!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_P%C3%A9tomane
A fartiste!
Bin Laden's orphans. The RNC will blame their plight on Obama.
Nice. Easy to coordinate, since George W. Bush is their legal guardian.
Speaking of W, where the hell is the dimwit during all this excitment?
They dare not even speak his name. We need to remind them.
Who?
New Orleans. Waiting for Isaac.
Cutting brush in his backyard in Dallas.
Who? You mean the former owner of the Texas Rangers?
In an undisclosed location, out of the reach of extradition, finishing his life's work of drinking himself to death.
He was invited to attend, but unfortunately had a scheduling conflict.
Where "had a scheduling conflict" means "was bound, gagged, and shackled to the living rock 1500 feet down an abandoned copper mine in Idaho until the election's over."
Augusto Pinochet.
He's dating Breitbart.
Are they outsourcing the dating service to Craigslist?
Can I answer in the form of Jeopardy?
"WHO IS JOHN GALT, ALEX?"
The ghost of Valerie Solanas will appear reading the entire text to "SCUM Manifesto".
The real Mitt Romney, who's been locked in a tower and replaced by a reasonably humanish android for the past thirty years? The flesh and blood Romney will of course endorse the android before being sent back to the dungeon.
Joseph Smith with more golden tablets.
My bet's on Rick Santorum, who will do a lovely (and feathery!) homage to Josephine Baker before being required by Reince Priebus to immolate himself in front of a life-size effigy of Paul Ryan.
Oh, and in slightly related convention nooz: Is our wingnuts learning?
Love it. In a related item, local DE politico, Cher Valenzuela had a huge shoutout in the Sunday paper, talking about how she's bootstrapped herself up from nothing – using family and government loans. But she built that business herself, you betcha!
Rick Santorum, who will do a lovely (and feathery!) homage to Josephine Baker"
I hope the cheetah bites his nuts off.
Zombie Reagan. He like Brraaaaaiinnnns!
At this convention? Sorry zombie, nothing to eat here.
I thought that as I hit "submit".. I just wanted to type; "Brraaaaaiinnnns!"
Thanks to you and weejee (above) I now am picturing Zombie-Orly & retinue singing "Brains-brains-brains/ Brains of Fools" ♫
Seamus.
With a wonderful demonstration of the trickle-down economic theory.
Maybe it's Bain Capital.
Corporations are people, too, my friends.
Hologram Ronald Reagan, Hologram Lincoln and Hologram Jeebus reenacting their famous signing of the Declaration of Independence.
Add in Hologram George Washington & Hologram James Madison (star player for the Federalist Society) & I think I can believe this one.
Hologram Dolly Madison, maker of snack cakes we like, would probably woo the hovverround crowd better.
I think that Fox News either reads Wonkette comments or is reporting that this may be a possibility (the Reagan one, anyway).
http://gawker.com/5938956/fox-news-hints-that-pha…
Actually, it's a misprint. It should read "T. B. Announced," the devil-may-care international playboy with a taste for fine foods, luxurious locales, and exotic women. He plays hard and he works sparingly. Oh, he'll rape your daughter . . . with his charm.
And his penis. His charm and his penis. And his pharmaceutical cabinet of roofies.
Charm, penis, roofies.
Charm, penis, roofies
He's an expert at CPR.
Naturally. No one's got more experience with mouth-to-tranquilized-mouth.
T. B. Announced. Well, the republican party is the party of conspicuous consumption.
ISWYDT.
"Charm, penis, roofies."
Typical GOP: Sway you, fuck you, THEN knock you out …
I don't always go to conventions.
But when I do, I keep a fanny pack full of roofies with me. Stay interesting, my friends.
"I keep a fanny pack full of roofies with me"
Ironically, the fanny pack makes the roofies necessary.
This is Florida, right? Where they shut down the only TB hospital just in time for the nascent pandemic?
"T.B. Announced" is past tense — they have bad news for the delegates.
"Charm, penis, roofies."
Giggity.
Babs the Impaler.
Or maybe Vlad the Impala.
All that, and a bag of chips?
HurricaneHugo Chavez, giving a born-again testimony?Seamus the Irish setter, saying that he really didn't mind being tortured on top of that car by Mittens too much.
Arlen Specter?
Harsh, dude. Harsh.
Bill Ayres
(M)Ann Coulter, sayin' how she was jes jokin' about the whole "if Christie the whale doesn't run the party will nominate Romney and Romney will lose" thingy?
The corpse of Ayn Rand? Leni Reifenstahl? So many possibilities!
Larry the Cable Guy, Joe the Plumber and Bobby Jindal doing a Three Stooges impersonation, but with topical humor!
Either a baker of baked goods or a bunch of Burmese Pythons that escaped from the Everglades.
I would pay good money to see the latter, with or without Samuel L. Jackson.
It's W. You know it is. SOMEONE has to validate the whole, "Barry is blaming everything on someone else, and taking credit for stuff he didn't even do!", narrative they are foisting off on middle America. G.W. can get up there and say something like, "Who do you folks think really got Bin Laden, me or some Kenyan muslim?", and the crowd will go wild!
Ron Paul. Ron Paul announces that he now fully supports the GOP platform with no reservations. If you look closely, you can see Reince Priebus' hand going straight up Paul's arse.
They could just re-use the Tupac hologram, and say that if Obama is re-elected he's going to bring back all of the dead rappers to "pal around with".
Having Ron Paul and Paul Ryan in the same building would be too confusing for "people" at that level of "intelligence".
Hologram Ronnie-Baby Reagan saying "I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary" and then getting booed by the entire delegation.
I am not going to watch this crap. And my TV was stolen. And I don't want to put my foot through the new one I bought to replace it. So, there's that.
JW:
Be very careful! It's common for sneak thieves to take tv's, etc., and just throw them away. Then come back for the brand new one they figure you just bought.
James Bond and QE II drop in by parachute?
I'm so much of a finance nerd that I thought QEII was the second round of quantitative easing the Fed did to stimulate the economy. I need to get out more.
I was expecting somebody to think I was referring to the Royal Mail Steamer of the same name.
SorosBot! Get over there and see to MissTaken's need to get out more.
Yikes, it's budget time in my world and I thought the same thing.
How tired did everyone else around here get of the bobbleheads on TV talking as if the actual Queen was actually dangling from a parachute all through the games?
What? We finally get to see Mormon Jeebus!
That Nigerian princess, who has been waiting patiently for you to send her money so you can become RICH!!! The Twist: She is also the President's Real Mother!!! And that makes Him, a foreigner and not a very good son!
Cheetozilla?
Jeff Gannon
But doesn't the Great Pumpkin = John Boehner?
Ann Coulter will pop out of a giant cake?
Reminds me of that clever game, Whack a Troll.
Reminds me of Alien.
“Get away from her, Bitch!!”
Hmmmm, so many choices:
1) Limbaugh to scream his impotent white rage to the faithful?
2) Cindy Crawford to represent evil Hollyweird and so they can yet again yap about how much hotter Puggie chicks are?
3)Todd Akin and Tom Smith so they can just go ahead and double down on the lady-hate?
4) Paul Ryan's pretend hausfrau/beard—preferably sporting something "Real Merikun" from Kohl's that her aide snatched from the clearance rack that afternoon?
4a) Bonus points: Mrs. Ryan and (a barely able to contain her disgust) Marie Ann-Romnette have a cooking expo on stage where they further pretend to be "just like us"!!!
5) Peggy Noonan to pass out drunk and revel in her pointless irrelevance?
6) Rich Lowry to remind us that Mittens "won every race he was ever in, except for the two he didn't" and (of course) leave off that he's only been in 3 races.
7) Any of the excellent choices noted above….
Kohl's libel!!!!!!!!!!!
For everyone at the Horrorshow in Tampa this week, be sure to check out the strip club Camelot Palace this week, as it's featuring nude chocolate syrup wrestling matches between Victoria Jackson and Janine Turner on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights. The cover is only $10, and you get one free autograph from Jackson and Turner each. For another $10, you get a special lap dance by either Jackson or Turner, and for an extra $20, you get a lap dance by Jackson and Turner. So, for $30, you get the chocolate syrup wrestling match, two autographs, and a double lap dance by Victoria Jackson and Janine Turner. That should rile 'em up in Tampa this week!!
for $100 Chris Christie will swoop in and gobble them both up where they stand, belching his rage at the audience
The entire cast of Honey Boo-Boo?
Perfect!!!
Weren't they at the last GOP Convention?? No wait, that was the Palins.
I really dislike these assholes.
Also, according to informed Republican sources in Tampa, the "mystery speaker" Thursday night will be a special nude appearance by Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin, and they will take turns reading, while completely naked, selected passages from "Emmanuelle," "Lady Chatterley's Lover," "The Story of O," "Fear of Flying" and "The Feminine Mystique." This is scheduled to occur directly after Rumley's speech.
Not 'Fifty Shades of Grey', or is that banned because of the British spelling?
OT, sorta. Did anyone notice there are 4 girls and 3 guys in that photo? Which girl gets stiffed?
Judging by the three guys' general fabulousness, I believe the answer would be…
None of them, Katie.
The girl with the pink ponytail. All the others are matched up: a blah with a blah, a skier with a skier, and a formal dress girl with a dude in a tux. The casual hottie with the tank top and shorts and fun little hairdo goes to the park with her picnic basket and finds her Mr Right without the help of a stupid board game.
I thought this was interesting, I didn't know how the game worked.
–
Mystery Date can be played with 2, 3, or 4 players. The object of the game is to be ready for a date by acquiring three matching color-coded cards to assemble an outfit. The outfit must then match the outfit of the date at the "mystery door". The date is revealed by spinning the door handle and opening the plastic door on the game board. The five possible dates are:
*the formal dance date
*the bowling date
*the beach date
*the skiing date
*the dud
The date to be avoided is the poorly dressed "dud". He is wearing slovenly attire. His hair is tousled and his face sports a beard shadow. There was also a figure made out to represent a construction worker for another "undesirable" partner, as per prevailing values of the time.
In the 1970s game, a picnic date replaced the bowling date.
If the player's outfit does not match the date behind the door, the door is closed and play continues.
How demeaning it was to encourage little girls to "play into" subservient and dependent gender roles! We are much more enlightened now, with mobile games like "Diner Dash" that encourage little girls to run around like crazy serving sammiches.
I found this ironic. From what I can see “…his hair is tousled and his face sports a beard shadow…” is sort of THE look now.
"He is wearing slovenly attire. His hair is tousled and his face sports a beard shadow."
He has hipster/nerd glases, lots of poorly executed tattoos, and a pierced bellybutton, and smells like patchouli and ass…
Oh, wait; that's the speshul Portland version of the game.
Pat Buchanan, baby. The "Culture War" speech wasn't a mistake – it was just given 20 years too soon!
Gotta be Jesus. Of course, he'll take one look at their platform and damn them. And when Jesus damns you, you stay damned.
Rebecca Schoenkopf?
Come on, Editrix, don't be coy. We know the truth. You managed to sneak yourself onto the program, didn't you?
They're going to fly the moldering corpse of Ronald Reagan over the heads of the audience. As it reaches the apex of the arena it will burst into a thousand points of light, trickling down upon the attendees, forming a Star Wars shield protecting them the ravages of reality while anointing them with the holy ashes of his bleached white bones…
Probably Osama bin Laden. They'll bring him in to prove Barry didn't kill him. I'll bet they give him a ten minute standing ovation.
Beverly LaHaye (Concerned Women for America) will speechify about hatin' the gayz, lovin' Jeebus, abstinence edumacation, and legitimate rape as family values.
The brothers Koch.
They are the sponsors, so why not?
Ronald Reagan hologram or GTFO!
The reanimated corpse of an 18th century slave trader and auctioneer!
Ken Layne, obviously.
I find those dates (the fems) real easy to m****te to.
meditate?
Close. Breitbart's got some hella good hiphop moves he learned from Tupac.
OBL. He's not dead.
Trump will ride Rafalca across the stage, waving Obummer's REAL birth certificate while Joe Arpaio stands in the wings firing his six guns like Yosemite Sam on bath salts…
This sounds like a perfect idea.
And no, I don't say that because Rafalca would rear at the gunshots, tossing Trump onto his empty skull which would then shatter like Humpty Dumpty, before charging and trampling Arpaio.
OR DO I?
Darth Vader will show up, force choke Mittens to death and make Paul Ryan an admiral.
Whilst Palpatine chuckles malevolently…
Darth Vader is kidding himself if he thinks he's a match for Ryan.
Ann Elk?
The Joker. That would be cool.
Too soon, Dude.
They are letting Laura Bush speak again?
Common Sense?
Nah.
Nancy Reagan still alive? I think her, alive or dead
I'm thinking Sarah Palin. She went a little too easy into this good night. Not much protesting. Laying a little too low. Think how this would energize the base because this woman can make a speech, even if 95% of it doesn't make sense, and the old geezers (and not so old, looking at you Rich Lowry) would definitely get a hard on over it.
1. William Ayers! He will admit to writing Obama's books for him! The republicans still want to vet Obama.
2. Lyndie England will do a striptease and S&M exhibition for them.
3. They will get Monica Lewinsky to vet Clinton, because if you are going to be out of synch with the times, go all out!
Will the Wonkette live blog this bitchin event?
Colin Powell. They've kidnapped his family, held him captive and tortured him. He finally turned (back) and agreed to be the new black face of the party.
a cracken?
Classic Mystery Date? I don't think so. The game I saw commercials for in the 60's never had any brownz.
Purist!
A small, fluffy kitten that RMoney will stop on to demonstrate to the poors what happens when they defy their overlords. Occupy that, you uppity unemployed types.
For an encore, Rapey Eyes Ryan will stomp an actual poor person.
Just like Jesus would!
George W. Bush escorted by Saddam's gun.
All of 'em, Katie … ?
If it was George Romney's ghost, instead of Breitbart, I'd actually tune in to hear him read his party the Riot Act and then curse them all with boils or baldness or whatever ghosts curse people with these days.
The surprise nomination of hologram Mitt Romney? Y'know just to make him creepier.
Red Klotz will give a stirring pep talk.
BUT WHAT DRESS WILL ANN WEAR???
A nattily dressed gentleman who promises to throw the election for Rmoney in exchange for their souls; they quickly accept.
Zombie Barry Goldwater.
Yet another totally irrelevant former someone (read Sununu or George Pataki) to insist that once everyone realizes what an awesome husband/father Mittens is, EVERYBODY will vote for him??
Oh! Oh! I know! Todd Akin and Tom Smith in a heartwarming duet of "Love Me Tender"!
Paul Ryan announces his running mate!
$10,000 says its George Bush (43). There will be a video introduction by his Father (41).
Since this is RapeCon 2012, I'll say Ben Roethlisberger.
He never leaves the hospitality suite.
I am glad I will be at a video game convention so that I can ignore this shit. You know, legitimately.
Hologram Reagan. But that crowd will turn on him when he announces it's OK to raise taxes.
Generalissimo Francisco Franco!
I would like this game a lot better if they didn't keep insisting that Paul Ryan is The Dreamboat.
Obviously it's Chuck Norris.
Darth Cheney makes his appearance, watch your throats …
I think I have a lead preview on the speech for that time slot.
The heartless fuckers are gonna tie poor little Seamus to the top of a car and drive him around the arena.
Suicide Bomber…ohhh wet dream.
Mummy Ayn Rand renounces her atheist views. Crowd goes WILD. Paul Ryan wets pants….
Parasailing.
No, wait.
Sarah Palin.
Given the "We Built This" theme, I think I have it:
Jefferson Starship, to sing their biggest hit!
Raygun.
Dick Cheney or Artur "RuPaul undragged" Davis.
I'm thinking Ann Coulter will fuck Pat Buchanan up the arse but will refuse the obligatory reach-around. David Duke will make a surprise appearance along with Mike Huckabee, Ted Nugent and the ghost of Charlton Heston and they will sing the first three verses of "Amazing Grace, Sit on My Face".
When I read this headline I was really sincerely hoping that Wonkette sent an undercover operative into the world of gay no strings attached dating in Tampa, attempting to trap unsuspecting Conservatives in Rent Boy scandals. Boy was I disappointed.
We ALL KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BE DONALD TRUMP! YOU'RE FIRED! Derp de derp birth certificate KeNyA sociAlIST NOBAMA!!!
Ha ha ha Bitcoin I am loving the whole saga of that right now, how the biggest "banker" defaulted with everyone's RonPaulFunBux (TM some brilliant cynic on SomethingAwful) and half of the Bitcoiners are all "No, no, he's going to pay us back! He's just mysteriously ten days late for a Very Good Reason!"
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