we done here?

Tampa RNC, Day Deux: We Have Seen Steve Doocy, Now We Can All Go Home!

Steve Doocy is nobody’s sex object (except your weird sister, who is weird), and yet look at how he knows how to hold his face in front of a camera without twisting his mouth up all tarded and willing his nose to be shaped like a drunken potato!

We are fairly sure we are prettier than this in real life, we just always get a bad case of Yager face when a camera comes out! But maybe we were wrong this whole time, and everyone was just too nice to tell us we are actually a walking Picasso.

Right, so anyway, this was at the Hyatt lobby bar, also known as our office. And to answer your next question, yes, we did introduce ourselves, just as soon as his arm was around us and the pic was halfway to snapped, also known as too late to say no.

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About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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162 comments

        1. thatsitfortheother1

          You tell him to behave, and I'll egg him on.

          Getting old is inevitable, growing up is not.

          1. Lascauxcaveman

            Speaking from experience, one of the nice things about being hearing impaired is you never hear all the nasty things people say about you.

          2. Mumbletypeg

            Wow, I never realized that til you said so.
            Marlee did impress me with her work on "Children of a Lesser God," and West Wing. Apart from one other tv show I can think of, mostly forgotten, circa 1980 "Family Tree" with Anne Archer and _?_ as parents of four including the youngest son, a deaf boy in real life as well as character played– there is little portrayal of and, as a result, opportunity for roles among actors, who are hearing impaired.

          3. Geminisunmars

            I gotta tell you that here in Colorado we have an acting troop called PHAMALY (physicalled handicapped actors and musical artists league) that does incredible work. One of the actresses with parkinsons got a role in an Anne Hathaway movie year or two ago. There are so few opportunities for actors with disabilities. Recently I saw a show (wish I could remember which) where one of the lawyers was in a wheel chair, and it wasn't even part of the plot line. Just that a lawyer certainly could be portrayed by someone with a disabiliy. Why not. Anyway, thought I'd tell you.

          4. Mumbletypeg

            I am glad you mentioned it! Even Parkinsons; I can think of musicians as well as actors whose natural talents are threatened w/ getting short-changed by the onset of this.
            Next Friday is my dad's retirement from working for a non-profit enterprise that helps mentally and physically challenged young people find employment. Works toward engaging local restaurants for food prep training, and houses a number of workspaces where they hone abilities to package, assemble, and expedite for shipping various things from gift baskets to med kits to travel gear, on behalf of a number of clients. It is as fulfilling a workplace as my dad has ever spent time with and though it is past time he retired he put it off so long because he loves seeing its give & take w/ the community.

          5. Geminisunmars

            Give your Dad hugs and thanks from me. Why do we have to be such an exclusionary society?? I'm surprised that more communities haven't used PHAMALY as a model to develop in their areas. They do such wonderful plays — and bend some of the action to fit their own needs — like having the Tin Man played by a woman in a wheelchair in The Wiz; A quadraplegic Aldonza dragging herself onstage after the rape scene in Man of La Mancha; the ghostlyFruma-Sarah rising from her grave, and in this version being sped around the stage standing on a motorized wheelchair (from Fiddler on the Roof). Anyway, remarkable innovation and work. Again, hugs to your Pops. And to you.

      1. tessiee

        This is why I like my brain:

        I'm watching that movie "What the… do we know about physics?" [saw it in the Baghdad theater in Portland, the actual theater which was featured in the movie, which was pretty cool]. The deaf actress (Marilee something) was profile to the camera, looking in the mirror and having a bad self-esteem day.
        Actress [to mirror]: You're fat!!
        My Brain: With that nose, you're worried about your ass?

    1. kittensdontlie

      He had no clue who she was. At a bar, when a beautiful busty woman approaches, a normal male reaction is to grab first, ask questions later.

  1. James Michael Curley

    Rebecca, I think you are really rocking the mysteriously erotic/attractive Bacall look.

      1. James Michael Curley

        I learned my lesson. Last time I was caught pitching woo I had to pay a $50 fine to the NJ Department of Environmental Protection.

          1. James Michael Curley

            Did I tell you about the time I caught William Shakespeare making hot monkey love to Gertrude Stein?A rose is a rose is a rose would still smell as sweet.

  2. Schmannnity

    First Kilmeade and now Doocy. It doesn't count unless you get a compromising picture with Gretchen Carlson.

  3. OneYieldRegular

    This mild distortion effect to which you refer has been scientifically shown to be caused by a force called the Doocy Field. There are few lingering after-effects, but probably best to keep a safe distance next time.

  4. Texan_Bulldog

    Editrix looks a bit skeered the stupid will rub off. Reminds me of that picture of Breitbart & Riley (although I think Riley was scared of something totally different).

    1. FakaktaSouth

      I just wonder who had theirs up his ass to move his mouth into that semi-smile thing. He's tall or Becs is small, but gross gross gross.

    1. tessiee

      In order to be accurate, we need a Rebecca doll.
      Annnnddd, I just figured out how I'm gonna make my fortune.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      I am pleased with the Barbra Walters haze-effects, in case there are pics this weekend in Hotlanta.

  5. bflrtsplk

    Doesn`t touching Douche-y give you some dread disease that won`t go away, even if it won`t kill you?

  6. ThundercatHo

    Bad bar lighting, I feel your pain and yes, you are beautiful in person. But, I'm pretty sure your expression says, "Please don't rape me. Disinfecting ladyparts in expensive and time-consuming."

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Ugh. I Don't know what we've done to deserve them, but they have infected our Wonkette like a persistent dose of clap.

  7. ph7

    Did you invite him up to your room for drink? Sometimes a journalist must place themselves at great risk to get the best story. Plus, what's a regrettable hate fuck among friends?

  8. FakaktaSouth

    I have always wondered what pure stupid evil smelled like but I've never been so brave as to put my arm all the way around it.

  9. Lazy Media

    Be careful to wash the stupid off; that stuff is highly contagious and you are, after all, in the middle of a spatial cluster of it.

  10. actor212

    Madam Editrix?

    Why does Doocy look so uncomfortable putting his arm around you? Are you wearing barbed wire or something? He looks like he'd rather be anyplace else.

    1. chicken_thief

      Cover boy from yesterday with the "Something about Mary" gel in his hair would have had Doocy preening like a peacock on Viagra.

      1. rickmaci

        I have no experience with this to confirm but have been told that if you swallow something the hiccups go away. Just reporting here…

  11. fawkedifiknow

    I have on occasion carried my glasses like Doocy does in the picture, and I never got lucky, either.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      In the abscence of a shirt pocket, the only other place for them is on your face.

      I wonder what Douchey is like when he's out of his Faux News cocoon, and not being spoon-fed GOP talking points.

      1. tessiee

        I suppose one could put them on one of those decorative strings, but I think that's specific to sunglasses, not regular glasses.

  12. thatsitfortheother1

    What night is the S&M strip club on the convention agenda? Or were you off the clock for this story?

  13. actor212

    Editrix, I'll donate $500 to the Drinky Thingie Fund if you get another shot tugging his toupee off.

    I'm deadly serious. I don't take my drinking money lightly.

  14. James Michael Curley

    What is this term "Yager Face"? If its a reference to the book and movie "The Right Stuff"? When "Chuck Yeager's Combat Flight Simulator" came out I went to a promotional appearance and he maintained that the movie took great liberties with his injuries when the XF-104 crashed (NF104?).

    1. natoslug

      Either that or she meant Jager Face, which is the result of too many Jager-bombs (or, more precisely, any real number greater than zero).

  15. freakishlywrong

    OT, but the Wonkett drinky thingee made the paper under a "things to do" section. I'm guessing the local reporter doesn't read the Wonkett much..

  16. DocChaos

    Don't feel bad, judging appearances from badly lit snapshots, I look a lot more like an adult version of the kid from Deliverance than I realized.

  17. owhatever

    Careful there, Editrixie. Once you go Right, you never (rhyme eludes me). Anway, you get rich and own property and start out as a Fox weatherperson, then get your own show, then marry Roger Ailes and have a fivesome with Roger, Rush, Newt, Sarah and Herman, and you'll never even think about us little people again. Sob.

  18. DahBoner

    drunken potato

    OK, I can understand how the Chinese can get a chicken drunk, but how do you get a potato drunk???

  19. tessiee

    "Steve Doocy is nobody’s sex object (except your weird sister, who is weird)"

    Bessie libel!!!
    My sister may be weird — OK, she is weird — but she's neither blind nor stupid.

  20. ttommyunger

    All I can say is, Becca, you must have been really drunk to actually touch that ignorant fuckwad.

Comments are closed.