Steve Doocy is nobody’s sex object (except your weird sister, who is weird), and yet look at how he knows how to hold his face in front of a camera without twisting his mouth up all tarded and willing his nose to be shaped like a drunken potato!

We are fairly sure we are prettier than this in real life, we just always get a bad case of Yager face when a camera comes out! But maybe we were wrong this whole time, and everyone was just too nice to tell us we are actually a walking Picasso.

Right, so anyway, this was at the Hyatt lobby bar, also known as our office. And to answer your next question, yes, we did introduce ourselves, just as soon as his arm was around us and the pic was halfway to snapped, also known as too late to say no.

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  • SoBeach


    • ChrisM2011

      Fifty shades of ew.

  • Estproph

    The sun must cross the yardarm early in Tampa.

  • Schmannnity

    Close enough to stab.

  • valgal2342

    Damn, the things you put up with for our entertainment.

  • I wonder what picture Doocy uses on Rentboy.

  • AlterNewt

    Certainly a more attractive couple than Carville and what's-her-name.

    • The deaf chick?

      • chicken_thief


      • oh god, please behave today… You've got me laughing at an actress "chick" I actually kind of like!

        • thatsitfortheother1

          You tell him to behave, and I'll egg him on.

          Getting old is inevitable, growing up is not.

          • Something tells me my imploring him not to make me laugh at deaf chicks *will* egg him on!

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Speaking from experience, one of the nice things about being hearing impaired is you never hear all the nasty things people say about you.

          • Wow, I never realized that til you said so.
            Marlee did impress me with her work on "Children of a Lesser God," and West Wing. Apart from one other tv show I can think of, mostly forgotten, circa 1980 "Family Tree" with Anne Archer and _?_ as parents of four including the youngest son, a deaf boy in real life as well as character played– there is little portrayal of and, as a result, opportunity for roles among actors, who are hearing impaired.

          • Geminisunmars

            I gotta tell you that here in Colorado we have an acting troop called PHAMALY (physicalled handicapped actors and musical artists league) that does incredible work. One of the actresses with parkinsons got a role in an Anne Hathaway movie year or two ago. There are so few opportunities for actors with disabilities. Recently I saw a show (wish I could remember which) where one of the lawyers was in a wheel chair, and it wasn't even part of the plot line. Just that a lawyer certainly could be portrayed by someone with a disabiliy. Why not. Anyway, thought I'd tell you.

          • I am glad you mentioned it! Even Parkinsons; I can think of musicians as well as actors whose natural talents are threatened w/ getting short-changed by the onset of this.
            Next Friday is my dad's retirement from working for a non-profit enterprise that helps mentally and physically challenged young people find employment. Works toward engaging local restaurants for food prep training, and houses a number of workspaces where they hone abilities to package, assemble, and expedite for shipping various things from gift baskets to med kits to travel gear, on behalf of a number of clients. It is as fulfilling a workplace as my dad has ever spent time with and though it is past time he retired he put it off so long because he loves seeing its give & take w/ the community.

          • Geminisunmars

            Give your Dad hugs and thanks from me. Why do we have to be such an exclusionary society?? I'm surprised that more communities haven't used PHAMALY as a model to develop in their areas. They do such wonderful plays — and bend some of the action to fit their own needs — like having the Tin Man played by a woman in a wheelchair in The Wiz; A quadraplegic Aldonza dragging herself onstage after the rape scene in Man of La Mancha; the ghostlyFruma-Sarah rising from her grave, and in this version being sped around the stage standing on a motorized wheelchair (from Fiddler on the Roof). Anyway, remarkable innovation and work. Again, hugs to your Pops. And to you.

      • tessiee

        This is why I like my brain:

        I'm watching that movie "What the… do we know about physics?" [saw it in the Baghdad theater in Portland, the actual theater which was featured in the movie, which was pretty cool]. The deaf actress (Marilee something) was profile to the camera, looking in the mirror and having a bad self-esteem day.
        Actress [to mirror]: You're fat!!
        My Brain: With that nose, you're worried about your ass?

  • noodlesalad

    Clever! By informing him who you were, this became a legitimate picture.

    • kittensdontlie

      He had no clue who she was. At a bar, when a beautiful busty woman approaches, a normal male reaction is to grab first, ask questions later.

      • Geminisunmars

        Yeah, but that is normal. What about in Douchy's case.

        • kittensdontlie

          Yea, without his glasses on, did he think he was grabbing Gretchen???

  • stopthemovie

    There's not enough whisky in Ireland…

  • thatsitfortheother1

    You said tard.

    • ph7

      The Ghost of Jack Steuff approves!

    • eggsacklywright

      and feathered?

  • Come here a minute

    That explains why the Editrix passed the virtual tin cup around last week– over budget on disinfecting wipes.

  • James Michael Curley

    Rebecca, I think you are really rocking the mysteriously erotic/attractive Bacall look.

    • rickmaci

      More importantly, does he like the cat suit and whip?

      • James Michael Curley

        His safe phrase is “I love Obama!”

    • Careful! There are so many lawyers on the Wonket, it'll be raining restraining orders if you get too moony!

      • James Michael Curley

        Can I have handcuffs and Rebecca dressed as a prison guard?

    • I'd hit that like a jackhammer

    • chicken_thief

      Needz moar side boob. The Dooce, in this context, does not count.

    • Barbara_

      James, don't go and be pitching woo at Rebecca like that. She's Doocy's gal now.

      • James Michael Curley

        I learned my lesson. Last time I was caught pitching woo I had to pay a $50 fine to the NJ Department of Environmental Protection.

        • tessiee

          That wasn't woo, it was poo.

          • James Michael Curley

            Did I tell you about the time I caught William Shakespeare making hot monkey love to Gertrude Stein?A rose is a rose is a rose would still smell as sweet.

  • Looks like legitimate hugging.

    • kittensdontlie

      Illegitimate! She wanted to say 'no' but how can you when things go off that quickly!

      • Odd, that's what all the girls say to Doocy.

  • Schmannnity

    First Kilmeade and now Doocy. It doesn't count unless you get a compromising picture with Gretchen Carlson.

    • Upskirt, if you please. She seems to enjoy showing the frills off.

  • Limeylizzie

    Oh what a darling couple…I am, of course, referring to your breasts.

    • AlterNewt

      They really are good together.

  • OneYieldRegular

    This mild distortion effect to which you refer has been scientifically shown to be caused by a force called the Doocy Field. There are few lingering after-effects, but probably best to keep a safe distance next time.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Editrix looks a bit skeered the stupid will rub off. Reminds me of that picture of Breitbart & Riley (although I think Riley was scared of something totally different).

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I would be more comfortable with this picture if his hands were visible.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I just wonder who had theirs up his ass to move his mouth into that semi-smile thing. He's tall or Becs is small, but gross gross gross.

  • larrykat

    Did he cop a feel?

  • Where did he touch you?

    • Shouldn't we go get the demonstration doll first before we ask how he violated her?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        You're just no fun at all.

        • Did I mention the doll blows up?

          • Jus_Wonderin

            Terror Doll?

          • Achmed the Dead Terrorist, yes.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Show me where the Republican touched you.

    • eggsacklywright

      Show us on the doll.

    • AlterNewt


    • tessiee

      In order to be accurate, we need a Rebecca doll.
      Annnnddd, I just figured out how I'm gonna make my fortune.

  • SorosBot

    That's a very traditional Wonkette blurry photo; was the camera drinking too?

    • FakaktaSouth

      I am pleased with the Barbra Walters haze-effects, in case there are pics this weekend in Hotlanta.

    • PubOption

      At least it's the right way up.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Thank god theyr'e both vertical, that's all I can say.

  • Pat_Pending

    needz moar duckface.

  • That isn't Yager face, it is lobby light.

    • lurker_above

      Doocy is like a walking Deluminator. Everything/everyone gets dimmer wherever he goes.

  • bflrtsplk

    Doesn`t touching Douche-y give you some dread disease that won`t go away, even if it won`t kill you?

  • ThundercatHo

    Bad bar lighting, I feel your pain and yes, you are beautiful in person. But, I'm pretty sure your expression says, "Please don't rape me. Disinfecting ladyparts in expensive and time-consuming."

  • RadioBowels

    This is like the Christmas Truce of 1914.

  • smashedinhat

    Aviator shades. I never leave home without them.

  • StarsUponThars

    He's only slightly worse than Oogieloves.

    • And like Oogies, we stumble across him accidentally and later regret our error.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Ugh. I Don't know what we've done to deserve them, but they have infected our Wonkette like a persistent dose of clap.

      • Geminisunmars

        I thought I had a virus.

  • ph7

    Did you invite him up to your room for drink? Sometimes a journalist must place themselves at great risk to get the best story. Plus, what's a regrettable hate fuck among friends?

  • FakaktaSouth

    I have always wondered what pure stupid evil smelled like but I've never been so brave as to put my arm all the way around it.

  • Lazy Media

    Be careful to wash the stupid off; that stuff is highly contagious and you are, after all, in the middle of a spatial cluster of it.

  • FNMA

    Whatever they pay you, it's not enough.

  • stopthemovie

    A "good" girl never doocy's in public.

  • Guppy

    too late to say no

    Hang on to that aspirin!

  • thatsitfortheother1

    Does he smell like sulfur?

    • TootsStansbury

      I was imagining vienna sausages for some reason.

      • tessiee

        Chick-Fil-A, Axe body spray, and self-loathing.

  • Madam Editrix?

    Why does Doocy look so uncomfortable putting his arm around you? Are you wearing barbed wire or something? He looks like he'd rather be anyplace else.

    • chicken_thief

      Cover boy from yesterday with the "Something about Mary" gel in his hair would have had Doocy preening like a peacock on Viagra.

  • iamrrm

    That's just gross! They didn't fix that for your bat mitzvah? Also, Doocy is barfy too.

    • Hi, I'm the bouncer. Shut the fuck up.

      • thatsitfortheother1


      • ThundercatHo

        Thank you darling, you just made my day.

  • viennawoods13

    Now go take a good long disinfecting shower. Ew.

  • TootsStansbury

    Ooh careful around that; you don't want to catch a case of the tards.

  • Fox (Rebecca) and Friend.

    • Fox (Rebecca) and Friend


  • Not even a hint of frisson. I don't think you're his type.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      She's definitely too smart. Doochys can sense that, somehow.

  • rickmaci

    Meet the Press? Press the Meat? So it goes.

    • Press the Meat

      Can produce meat-hiccups if one doesn't exercise caution.

      • rickmaci

        I have no experience with this to confirm but have been told that if you swallow something the hiccups go away. Just reporting here…

  • Glasses stuck in the front of a polo shirt. Ghastly.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Two words, Rebecca: Silkwood. Shower.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I have on occasion carried my glasses like Doocy does in the picture, and I never got lucky, either.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      In the abscence of a shirt pocket, the only other place for them is on your face.

      I wonder what Douchey is like when he's out of his Faux News cocoon, and not being spoon-fed GOP talking points.

      • Drunk, disgusting, incoherent, incontinent, stupid, sleazy…

        • So same as when he's in the cocoon.

      • tessiee

        I suppose one could put them on one of those decorative strings, but I think that's specific to sunglasses, not regular glasses.

  • A Wonkette Fauxtograph, whodda thunk?

  • thatsitfortheother1

    What night is the S&M strip club on the convention agenda? Or were you off the clock for this story?

  • I already took a doocy this morning, thanks.

  • Editrix, I'll donate $500 to the Drinky Thingie Fund if you get another shot tugging his toupee off.

    I'm deadly serious. I don't take my drinking money lightly.

    • keepwalkin

      I'll donate $10,000 if you make his head explode like that guy in Scanners!!

      • *doing a quick bit of math*

        Lemme see…pure sodium…some magnesium…and a scrape of C4…$18,500

        Um, make it 20K, and you're on

  • Buzz Feedback

    It's like Riley and Breitbart all over again.

  • PsycWench

    Shades of Intern Riley and Breitbart, but I think Riley got pawed a lot more. At least as indicated by the look on his face.

  • LibrarianX

    Visible pull-cord in the middle of his back?

  • James Michael Curley

    What is this term "Yager Face"? If its a reference to the book and movie "The Right Stuff"? When "Chuck Yeager's Combat Flight Simulator" came out I went to a promotional appearance and he maintained that the movie took great liberties with his injuries when the XF-104 crashed (NF104?).

    • Either that or she meant Jager Face, which is the result of too many Jager-bombs (or, more precisely, any real number greater than zero).

  • Over in crasstalk, there's a shorthand-y byline about Ross Douthat, calling him "doucehat."

    In Steve's case I reckon the typo applies rather handily.

  • You're good, but you've got a ways to go to beat Intern Riley when it comes to "posing with Insane Wingnut Celebs" pix.

  • well i can see that every hour of this convention is going require another donation to the obama campaign.

  • Editrix, are you wearing swim goggles on your shoulder?

  • I would post a comment now but I have to go drop a doocy.

  • Gretchen Carlson was off at a salsa club, offering asylum in her spacious hinterlands to Cuban lotharios as part of FOX's hispanic outreach program.

    • chicken_thief

      Gretchen is doable. Greta, otoh…..

      • In her spare time, Greta enjoys curling up in an easy chair with her pipe tobacco and Todd Palin scrapbook.

        • Steverino247

          Hahahahahaha! What a visual!

  • chicken_thief

    You know what they say about women who wear red.

    • Steverino247

      They make FBI men shoot gangsters?

      • tessiee

        Something tells me Doocy doesn't have anything the Smithsonian would be interested in.

  • mavenmaven

    Oh, at first I thought you got a picture with Romney, but the smile was too human.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Wait. I thought matter and anti-matter couldn't touch.

  • freakishlywrong

    OT, but the Wonkett drinky thingee made the paper under a "things to do" section. I'm guessing the local reporter doesn't read the Wonkett much..

  • Another masterpiece from the Liz Glover School of Photography

  • Beowoof

    Even in my old age I would be afraid of picking up republican cooties.

  • PubOption

    Did Rebecca invite Doocy to the drinky thing? Or does she prefer to see him with his shirt on?

  • BZ1

    I think it's pronounced "Douchey".

  • DocChaos

    Don't feel bad, judging appearances from badly lit snapshots, I look a lot more like an adult version of the kid from Deliverance than I realized.

  • Not_So_Much

    Man, if ever there were a face in need of slapping with a tire iron…

  • jakegittes

    Surprised he didn't do the sorority squat.

  • amoamas


  • owhatever

    Careful there, Editrixie. Once you go Right, you never (rhyme eludes me). Anway, you get rich and own property and start out as a Fox weatherperson, then get your own show, then marry Roger Ailes and have a fivesome with Roger, Rush, Newt, Sarah and Herman, and you'll never even think about us little people again. Sob.

    • tessiee

      Once you go 'tard, it never gets hard?
      Once you go Teabag, you move into a fleabag?

  • DahBoner

    drunken potato

    OK, I can understand how the Chinese can get a chicken drunk, but how do you get a potato drunk???

  • tessiee

    "Steve Doocy is nobody’s sex object (except your weird sister, who is weird)"

    Bessie libel!!!
    My sister may be weird — OK, she is weird — but she's neither blind nor stupid.

  • Gleem McShineys

    Editrix, you have something gross stuck to your shirt, and jesus, its a Doocey.

  • Nostrildamus

    Little Douce Cute
    You don't know what I got


  • Barrelhse

    Who IS that guy with my weird sister?

  • We sent you down there to BRAINWASH the conservative media! Not HUG THEM!

  • Calapine

    Wonkette funfact: Schönkopf means "pretty head" in german.

  • mosjef

    He's the Doociest

  • ttommyunger

    All I can say is, Becca, you must have been really drunk to actually touch that ignorant fuckwad.

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