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Exclusive! This Ad That Just Debuted On Breitbart, About Obama Bowing, Will Change Everything Forever This Time, For Real!

This guy bows to everyone!

Dateline, Tampa Hyatt Lobby Bar — David S. Bernstein, of the Boston Phoenix, just sat his ass down and made his FIRST mistake: telling your Wonkette he had found an exclusive. Then he made his second mistake, which was … something else, whatever. Did you know David S. Bernstein does not know how to embed youtube videos? Good job, old media! Anyhoo, here is David S. Bernstein’s EXCLUSIVE video, which we fucking helped him put on the Internet, because frankly we are lovely. It is about Special Ops dudes who are SO MAD that Barack Obama bows to everyone, all the time, forever, because he is a huge pussy who wants to sell America to Sharia law and Osamabinladensayswhat? Oh right nothing, the fish ate his mouth! See the anger and the glory, where it says “read more”!

Honestly, we kind of agree: sometimes Barry Bamz’s bows do get a little too deep. Like the one in the picture at the top of this post, where he is selling out the entire planet to Zorubi, Boy King of Betelgeuse 3. Sorry everybody, there is no hiding from Betelgeuse 3.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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        1. MittBorg

          40 points ahead with Latinos and women, 94% ahead with Blacks. I just don't think Romney can win it with just White folks, and Karl Rove is now openly calling for White Democrats to cross the lines and vote for Romney. Sounds pretty fucking desperate to me.

  1. YouBetcha

    Oh yeah, "Special Operations for America"? So a bunch of special forces personnel put this together? Not a bunch of old, fat, wheezing, chickenhawking, draft dodging moneybags? That's who is exploiting the sacrifice of soldiers for The Marvelous Mormon? How gullible do these fucks think we are?

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Actually, the chief douche is out of the service, a birther who other Spec Ops dudes have told to shut the fuck up because it just ain't professional.

      This ain't swift boating, not even close – more like "look at me, I'm a big ol' douche" time.

      1. YouBetcha

        That particular douche doesn't have two nickels to rub together. Smells like Koch sucking money from here.

    2. T3rbo

      Who gives a shit if they are real SEALS or not? They might as well be talking about public transportation policy. They should call their group "non sequitur against obammy". Their military service has NOTHING to do with anything they are talking about.

      Thousands of service men died during the Civil War. This is why public buses need to be painted yellow instead of white. This message brought to you by SPECOP for America.

      1. miss_grundy

        I think the Dems need to have and ad that shows the general who was involved in the planning of taking down Osama who said that the Pres. knows his stuff. I don't have any respect for crackers who are in the Armed Forces who talk smack about the CiC, who has shown nothing but respect for the members of the Armed Forces and their families. It just shows that these asshats have absolutely no manners or morals, whatsoever.

    3. MittBorg

      Have you seen the maroonz at the convention? Because this is totes aimed at them and lemme tellya, they probly believe every word. Hell, they believe everything that comes out of Rush's anus.

      1. SavageDrummer

        Personally, I'm looking forward to the tell all book from the various people who have gone INTO Rush's anus… (Not reading it, just knowing that it's been published…)

  2. Barbara_

    Obama is bowing, yes. The GOP bends at the waist and grabs their ankles when the likes of the Koch brothers, Sheldon Adelson, Donald Trump, et al. show up.

    1. SavageDrummer

      Bowing to Saudis is a no-no… You gotta hold their hands! That's how they know you're serious on foreign policy…

    2. miss_grundy

      Actually, they kneel before the Koch Bros. et al. and unzip their zippers and give them blowjobs.

  3. James Michael Curley

    Poppy Bush said, "If their guy makes a modest bow to a Saudi Tyrant, you kiss a Saudi Tyrant right on the lips. It's the Texass way."

      1. dmnolan

        Yeah, wasn't it Boy Wonder who kissed that old guy in the dress? Where was there no manliness back then?

  4. Fox n Fiends

    "I'm a draft-dodging elitist pussy who's sons & grandsons will never serve in the military and I approve this message"

    1. T3rbo

      They can be SPECOPS guys, but that has nothing to do with anything.
      Four out of Five Navy Seals prefer Brillo brand scouring pads to store brand pads. Therefore, Brillo Pads are better at Freedom. By this logic.
      I don't think (I just went to regular flavored basic training, not SEAL school) that there are a lot of political science or economics classes in SPECOP schools.
      If this group had ads like this about brands of ammunition, communications gear, or military tactics, best believe what they say. When they start talking about politics, they are out of their league. (nautical pun!)

      1. Calapine

        Interesting point, thanks.

        Just find it weird some real specop guy watches TV and suddenly decides he wants the next Joe the Plumber. Although I guess money can be a pretty big incentive, hard to blame anyone for that…

  5. Generation[redacted]

    His father was Romulan. That's where he inherited his anti-Federation world view.

  6. Maman

    Glad to see that Rebecca didn't get blown away by that "Hurricane" created by the National Hurricane Center-National Weather Service-NOAA-Commerce Dept, i.e. Barack Hussein Obama sent to ruin Republican's beach vacation.

    1. kittensdontlie

      And there's no chance that R-convention will blow her away either, cause it's gonna pretty much suck.

  7. carlgt1

    Reagan & Bush bowed, especially Dubya Bush who held hands with fat Saudi princes. Did they ever think that it's a cultural thing, i.e. a sign of mutual respect, and not some grovelling boot-in-your-face thing (perhaps that's what these unnamed "Special Ops for America" want – their Orwellian boots in everyone's faces?)

      1. SavageDrummer

        We only have Coors Lite up here… Apparently Coors Fat is only for Americans… Take that however you want…

  8. Tequila Mockingbird

    That's it. Everyone needs to stop making YouTube videos for the next two years. The site should be taken down, and everyone who posts there should pay attention to their jobs, girlfriends, boyfriends, families, community activities, social activities, and social lives. This would mark a great improvement on contemporary society.

    1. James Michael Curley

      I find half the YouTube videos someone wants me to see end up with audio I don't get. My audio is set up to get most but it seems some are really out there in what was done. If I can't get the video to work in 15 seconds, fugeddaboutit.

    2. SorosBot

      But where will I get my cute kitties playing, and fake credits for Community set to the Buffy theme song?

  9. orygoon

    That little boy is totally going to grow up and be president some day, and occupy that very office-without-corners, and I will have voted for him. Doesn't he look nascently Presidential to you? (Also adorable, too.)

    1. Negropolis

      Apparently, once you go black you never quite find your way all the back, so his chances seem distinctly enhanced by the election of one Barack Huessein Obama. I, for one, welcome our woolen-headed future overlords.

      1. MittBorg

        I'm really really really hoping that this is true. When I was a sprout, all the SF I read had Black presidents, male and female. I don't want to die without seeing the SECOND Black POTUS and hopefully at least ONE Black FEMALE elected to power.

      1. SavageDrummer

        You can't kill the Breitbart… When booze/drugs/hypertension struck him down he became more powerful than we could imagine…

  10. T3rbo

    I don't see how this guy's conclusion follows from his points? I was in SEAL, OBAMA NO BOW TO SAUDI! BECAUSE SPECIAL OPERATIONS!!!!11!!!

    Working backwards:
    1)Iraq war good
    2)Me in Iraq War!
    so, because,

    1. mrblifil

      To say nothing of the fact that the Iraq Wars were essentially fought to protect Saudi interests, so in a way the chumps who ended up fighting elective wars of aggression as if they were avenging 9/11 are the ones who may be seen as having bowed. Plus I'm guessing these dudes are Jell-O shot butt slupers par excellence.

      1. T3rbo

        That may be true, but don't discount the human mind's ability to add meaning to something that is horrible and meaningless. If you spent your entire life training and sacrificing for a war that was totally pointless, for a time, you will be unable to even consider that you have wasted your life. One's life, and mission, must have incredible value if the sacrifices contained in such a life were so great, otherwise, one's life, and sacrifices, were totally meaningless. Ego defense (narcissism, etc.) is strongest in those who have endured trauma because the trauma sends a message that the traumatized is worthless, and if this trauma was endured whilst tilting at windmills, the defense may be extreme.
        Whoops, too deep?

    1. SavageDrummer

      I see your Beetlejuice joke and raise you a Ford Prefect joke…

      Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so…

        1. SavageDrummer

          I have yet to experience a time when I haven't wanted to be that drunk… But I needz moar peenutz!

  11. iamrrm

    We should all be forever grateful to Eunice Kennedy Shriver for creating Special Operations for America.

  12. BZ1

    Wow, it took 10 seconds to find out raging crazy Ryan Zinke, a GOP state senator and former Navy SEAL commander is behind the Special Operations for America.

  13. OneYieldRegular

    There are hundreds – maybe thousands, maybe even millions – of reasons I'll vote for Barack Obama, but one of them is that he seems to be one of a handful of people in the United States capable of demonstrating some humility.

    1. Negropolis

      Of all his traits, the one I find my favorite is his universal curiosity about shit in general. If our cowboy president had had a tenth of the curiosity about existence that Obama has, we'd be much better off, today.

  14. SayItWithWookies

    You know, sometimes when you're a rich, well-armed behemoth and the world's only superpower and you're not an insecure, xenophobic frightened half-man, you don't mind doing something that appears outwardly humble. Because you're a rich, well-armed behemoth and the world's only superpower and not some scabrous, insecure, score-keeping small-minded sissy.

  15. bflrtsplk

    “We sacrifice not because we have to … we fight because we need to.“ Aren`t have to and need to the same?

  16. SorosBot

    Yeah, how dare Obama use a gesture of respect that every other President ever has also performed!

    Really, they are still on this bullshit? What's next, more teleprompter "jokes"?

    1. janicket

      They try to do the TelePrompTer jokes, but half the time to feed on their TeleprompTer goes wonky and they screw up the reading.

      Their audience laughs anyway, because Obummer + TelePrompTer = "Lookit the incompetent blah person what cain't do nuffin without affirmative action, hyuk hyuk hyuk!"

      Why, yes. Yes, I AM showing off with the capitalization.

  17. Lucidamente1

    The best ad I've seen since Thomas Dewey's attack newsreel in the '44 campaign ("FDR, if he can't stand for the national anthem, how will he stand up to Hitler and Tojo?").

  18. IonaTrailer

    I love it that one of the anarchist soldiers who planned to overthrow the gubermint was named Michael Roark – COINCIDENCE??? I think not.

    In related news, (See needs more boobies) there is a faux Sarah Palin stripper in Tampa who is apparently packing the house. Editrix, I think this bears looking into? http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/faux_palin_

  19. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Yes, how dare the American President be respectful of other people. It is almost like he is a foreigner or something. Damn it Obama, you can't drop bombs on people while you are bowing (unless you are a Texan with a Saudi prince, but that is different).

    1. miss_grundy

      What does being in the military have to do with anything? There are plenty of asshats in the military and when they are disrespectful of the CiC, they dishonor their uniforms and their country.

  20. Tundra Grifter

    Is there an anit-FoxPAC video pointing out they gave the name and location of the former SEAL who is having a book published about the Osama raid?

    Or, because it was ok to disclose Valerie Plame's identity, exposing this war hero to a world-wide terrorist assult is also no biggie?

  21. Callyson

    Speaking of videos, I *know* some of you Wonketteers won't like this:

    The GOP platform committee has included a plank in this year's draft document calling for "vigorous" enforcement of anti-pornography laws…
    The new language replaces previous platform wording, which only opposed child pornography. It will now read, "Current laws on all forms of pornography and obscenity need to be vigorously enforced." Trueman noted that current federal obscenity laws not only prohibit distribution of hardcore pornography on the Internet but also on hotel/motel TV, on cable/satellite TV, and in retail shops.


    1. SorosBot

      You'll take my porn from my cold, dead hard drive!

      But I thought the Republicans don't hate sex, they just want to protect the cute little blastocysts.

    2. SavageDrummer

      So… you plan on prohibiting distribution of hardcore pornography on the INTERNET? Yeah… good luck with that…

    3. sullivanst

      Apparently the GOP plan for diversification involves also alienating all the old white men.

    4. miss_grundy

      Considering that these wankers are the first ones to look at porn while pushing their family values this is rich… Again, why aren't there reporters out their showing these jerks exercising their non-family values???????

      1. MilwaukeeKent

        Saw a stat somewhere that indicated the Red States, especially the South, had the highest rates of porn viewership, not that there's anything wrong with that.

        1. MittBorg

          Yup. Utah tops the list. Of people PAYING for porn on the InterNetz. No wonder their church finds it so easy to pry the tithe out of their hands. Damn motherfuckers are dumber than a three-day-old squirrel on crack.

  22. Tundra Grifter

    OK, Rebecca, which pickup line works the best?

    A. "Hi. I'm a reporter with the Boston Phoenix."

    B. "This is my last night in town."

  23. Antispandex

    This could be the worst thing since G.H.W. Bush puked on the Japanese Prime Minister. Well maybe not, because that was AWESOME! OK, not if you were the Japanese Prime Minister. Srsly though, do you want a pussy who cozzies up to those foreigns, or someone that pukes on them? I think we know where the heartland stands on this one!

    1. T3rbo

      Yeah, exactly. We need someone who will go up to that bastard and karate chop him in the god damned neck. "This is for 9/11, you Saudi bastard!" And ride off on a sweet fucking dirtbike.
      Oh no, they got me-SPECOP for America has appealed to my inner illogical 11 year old!

      1. tessiee

        'We need someone who will go up to that bastard and karate chop him in the god damned neck. "This is for 9/11, you Saudi bastard!" And ride off on a sweet fucking dirtbike."

        Mountain Dew Camacho?

  24. IonaTrailer

    “Navy SEALs, Special Operations Personnel and Veterans across America have been outraged since Barack Obama conveniently took credit for killing Osama Bin Laden for political gain,”

    I'M SO SURE! All the Navy Seals I know think the Bamz is the bomb.

    1. SavageDrummer

      I'm sure they're also thrilled that Disney copyrighted the term "Seal Team Six" :P They're all going to be celebrity seal cartoons!

  25. Self-Uploader

    Brilliant visual, Rebeca, because what it comes down to is which is really scarier to the rethugagains? That the President bowed in front of a Saudi or that he showed a little boy that a man with nappy hair can be President of the United States.

  26. polnick

    Poverty stricken white racists should vote for Obama, if Romney wins he will trash their trailer parks, close down their meth labs, and chase the rednecks into homeless shelters. Displaced blond blue eyed mountain mommas will have no choice but to beg NBA stars for a home.

  27. SavageDrummer

    So, the kid from a (presumably) small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse… How many mothers does he share with Zaphod Beeblebrox?

    1. Tundra Grifter

      I dunno about that. I had a t-shirt (All American Boy, Castro Street, San Francisco) printed across where the pocket would be "Last Night In Town" and I was very, very happy with the results.

    1. SavageDrummer

      I hope it doesn't bother you, but I posted that link as a comment on the original article…

      1. BlueStateLibel

        Damn, good job. When you click on the URL, all the photos of Dubya making out with King Saudi show up right there on the page.

  28. SorosBot

    "he is selling out the entire planet to Zorubi, Boy King of Betelgeuse 3. "

    But Betelgeuse is a red supergiant, formerly a blue giant, which will soon (in astronomical terms) go supernova and is not, nor will it ever be, old enough for any planets it may have to develop life.

    1. SavageDrummer

      I suppose "the vicinity of Betelgeuse" doesn't mean "in the Betelgeuse solar system" but c'mon man, Ford Prefect came from SOMEWHERE… and it was "a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse"… If the fundies have shown me anything it's that if something is in a book that you like enough, it's absolutely true even if it contradicts facts…

      So… You're wrong, dude…

  29. mindo99

    If there's one thing I learned this from the swift boaters, it's that no one is above being questioned about their military service. With that in mind, my guess is that Special Ops does a lot of birthday cake deliveries for military brass and pretend missions, but that's about it. Except when the president asks for results, that is.

    Do I win a prize?

  30. Terry

    With an apology to friends and family in the Marine Corps, do you know what the term Marine stands for? Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential.

    An old Army guy told me that.

  31. randcoolcatdaddy

    Aw…so cute. Obama bows down to let the little kid rub his head.

    If it were Bush, the President would be saying to the poor urchin, "Pull my finger."

  32. blatherous

    Okay, darn it. I thought it said "Wankette" and expected lots of pleasurable women.

    My bad.

  33. Negropolis

    But, it's totally al lright if your president is frenching saudi princes and holding their hands like an infatuated young couple, right?

    Fuck you, SOFA.

    1. MittBorg

      It's ALL about being BLAH, don'tchu know? It's perfectly OK for our WHITE Presidents to do whatever they want, but anything our BLAH President does must be endlessly analyzed by the pinheads on Pox Ooze who want to know if this *particular* fist-bump might yet be that elusive *terrorist* fist-bump for which they're searching.

      I just KNOW you read Ta-Nehisi Coates' piece, what did you think of it?

  34. ttommyunger

    Pasty-faced pantload Rightards can only see Barry's huge fucking gunboats and hate him even more; because big feet, big……..!

  35. Generation[redacted]

    Okay, so where's the re-edit where some clever replaces the image of Obama bowing with Bush kissing and holding hands?

  36. DalePues

    Than!ks Rebecca, See, this photo is why I still like Barack Obama, despite all the bad bankers and the surge stuff. Measure a man by the way he treats a child.

  37. outragedcitizen

    Just my opinion but if this country showed just a bit more humility then maybe half the world wouldn't hate our guts and spend their entire lives trying to think up ways to blow us up. Just sayin'

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