EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVES EXCLUSIVELY  6:00 pm August 27, 2012

Exclusive! This Ad That Just Debuted On Breitbart, About Obama Bowing, Will Change Everything Forever This Time, For Real!

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

This guy bows to everyone!

Dateline, Tampa Hyatt Lobby Bar — David S. Bernstein, of the Boston Phoenix, just sat his ass down and made his FIRST mistake: telling your Wonkette he had found an exclusive. Then he made his second mistake, which was … something else, whatever. Did you know David S. Bernstein does not know how to embed youtube videos? Good job, old media! Anyhoo, here is David S. Bernstein’s EXCLUSIVE video, which we fucking helped him put on the Internet, because frankly we are lovely. It is about Special Ops dudes who are SO MAD that Barack Obama bows to everyone, all the time, forever, because he is a huge pussy who wants to sell America to Sharia law and Osamabinladensayswhat? Oh right nothing, the fish ate his mouth! See the anger and the glory, where it says “read more”!

Honestly, we kind of agree: sometimes Barry Bamz’s bows do get a little too deep. Like the one in the picture at the top of this post, where he is selling out the entire planet to Zorubi, Boy King of Betelgeuse 3. Sorry everybody, there is no hiding from Betelgeuse 3.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 206 comments }

bumfug August 27, 2012 at 6:02 pm

He'll be taking a big bow for sure on November 7th, right after Mitt is rejected.

MittBorg August 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Sure is starting to look that way, innit?

starfanglednut August 28, 2012 at 9:31 am

* Crosses fingers. Please, please, please…

MittBorg August 28, 2012 at 2:06 pm

40 points ahead with Latinos and women, 94% ahead with Blacks. I just don't think Romney can win it with just White folks, and Karl Rove is now openly calling for White Democrats to cross the lines and vote for Romney. Sounds pretty fucking desperate to me.

Guppy August 27, 2012 at 7:03 pm

You mean Ron Paul won't be getting the nomination this week?

Not_So_Much August 27, 2012 at 7:57 pm

He would've, if that fucking storm hadn't blowed his blimp away.

tbogg August 27, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Now show Bernstein how to tie a knot in a cherry stem using only his butt.

MittBorg August 27, 2012 at 6:35 pm

All these years I've known you, tbogg, and only now do I guess at your talents!

billy_reuben August 28, 2012 at 12:17 am

Bernstein INVENTED that shit, muthafucka!

YouBetcha August 27, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Oh yeah, "Special Operations for America"? So a bunch of special forces personnel put this together? Not a bunch of old, fat, wheezing, chickenhawking, draft dodging moneybags? That's who is exploiting the sacrifice of soldiers for The Marvelous Mormon? How gullible do these fucks think we are?

BerkeleyBear August 27, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Actually, the chief douche is out of the service, a birther who other Spec Ops dudes have told to shut the fuck up because it just ain't professional.

This ain't swift boating, not even close – more like "look at me, I'm a big ol' douche" time.

YouBetcha August 27, 2012 at 6:13 pm

That particular douche doesn't have two nickels to rub together. Smells like Koch sucking money from here.

smokefilledroommate August 27, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Looks like he's a state senator from Montana. It's a superPAC, so you know there's some Koch money in there somewhere.

T3rbo August 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Who gives a shit if they are real SEALS or not? They might as well be talking about public transportation policy. They should call their group "non sequitur against obammy". Their military service has NOTHING to do with anything they are talking about.

Thousands of service men died during the Civil War. This is why public buses need to be painted yellow instead of white. This message brought to you by SPECOP for America.

miss_grundy August 27, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I think the Dems need to have and ad that shows the general who was involved in the planning of taking down Osama who said that the Pres. knows his stuff. I don't have any respect for crackers who are in the Armed Forces who talk smack about the CiC, who has shown nothing but respect for the members of the Armed Forces and their families. It just shows that these asshats have absolutely no manners or morals, whatsoever.

FlownOver August 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Livin' la vida SOFA

MittBorg August 27, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Have you seen the maroonz at the convention? Because this is totes aimed at them and lemme tellya, they probly believe every word. Hell, they believe everything that comes out of Rush's anus.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Personally, I'm looking forward to the tell all book from the various people who have gone INTO Rush's anus… (Not reading it, just knowing that it's been published…)

MittBorg August 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm

So! Into spelunking, eh? (waggles eyebrows meaningfully)

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:08 pm

*blush* oh Borg, you do know how to sweet-talk a fella…

TootsStansbury August 27, 2012 at 7:17 pm

You could prolly drive a bus up in there :barf:.

Arborista August 27, 2012 at 6:04 pm

That kid is too cute!

kittensdontlie August 27, 2012 at 7:05 pm

And I am wondering if he ever got his watermelon?

TootsStansbury August 27, 2012 at 7:18 pm

No snark. I love that photo so much.

The tall kid is so too cute too.

actor212 August 28, 2012 at 8:23 am

"IN A WORLD where the leader of the FREE WORLD can let a small child rub his head for good luck…"

smokefilledroommate August 27, 2012 at 6:04 pm

SOFA? That's an unfortunate acronym.

Maman August 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm

That is where the guys who paid for the ad sat during war time.

carlgt1 August 27, 2012 at 6:11 pm

he's SOFA King Lame!

Steverino247 August 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Ich bin maroon!

MittBorg August 27, 2012 at 6:38 pm

In both hue and intellect. Honestly, I'm astounded at the fact that the whole fucking lot of them haven't popped an artery yet.

Steverino247 August 28, 2012 at 2:11 am

No, it's a Frank Zappa reference. Sofa is the name of the song.

MittBorg August 28, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I know, I know, I was just exploding last night. So to speak.

doloras August 27, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Aber bekeckle nicht das Sofa, Sofa.

GlowneyHouse August 27, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Roto_Plooker Libel!

LocalGirlMakesGoo August 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

COUCHSKIN AMERICAN!

GunToting[Redacted] August 27, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Fuck these cunts.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Oddly enough, this comment is appropriate on 9 out of 10 Wonkette articles…

Barbara_ August 27, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Obama is bowing, yes. The GOP bends at the waist and grabs their ankles when the likes of the Koch brothers, Sheldon Adelson, Donald Trump, et al. show up.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Bowing to Saudis is a no-no… You gotta hold their hands! That's how they know you're serious on foreign policy…

miss_grundy August 27, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Actually, they kneel before the Koch Bros. et al. and unzip their zippers and give them blowjobs.

Barbara_ August 27, 2012 at 10:54 pm

I agree, Miss_Grundy. Thanks!

James Michael Curley August 27, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Poppy Bush said, "If their guy makes a modest bow to a Saudi Tyrant, you kiss a Saudi Tyrant right on the lips. It's the Texass way."

smokefilledroommate August 27, 2012 at 6:08 pm

And then you hold his hand on long walks through the rose garden.

dmnolan August 27, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Yeah, wasn't it Boy Wonder who kissed that old guy in the dress? Where was there no manliness back then?

Arborista August 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm

When Obama starts curtseying, I might worry a little bit…

kittensdontlie August 27, 2012 at 6:59 pm

That is to say nothing about the dress he would be wearing to execute a proper curtsy.

Mumbletypeg August 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Alright, I'm taking out the 'conspiracy' and just calling them "Freaks," period.

MittBorg August 27, 2012 at 6:39 pm

It's coming to that, innit? They've gone completely batshit, too.

Fox n Fiends August 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm

"I'm a draft-dodging elitist pussy who's sons & grandsons will never serve in the military and I approve this message"

Calapine August 27, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Special Operations for America…some rovian fatturds pretending to be Navy Seals?

T3rbo August 27, 2012 at 6:19 pm

They can be SPECOPS guys, but that has nothing to do with anything.
Four out of Five Navy Seals prefer Brillo brand scouring pads to store brand pads. Therefore, Brillo Pads are better at Freedom. By this logic.
I don't think (I just went to regular flavored basic training, not SEAL school) that there are a lot of political science or economics classes in SPECOP schools.
If this group had ads like this about brands of ammunition, communications gear, or military tactics, best believe what they say. When they start talking about politics, they are out of their league. (nautical pun!)

Calapine August 27, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Interesting point, thanks.

Just find it weird some real specop guy watches TV and suddenly decides he wants the next Joe the Plumber. Although I guess money can be a pretty big incentive, hard to blame anyone for that…

Generation[redacted] August 27, 2012 at 6:08 pm

His father was Romulan. That's where he inherited his anti-Federation world view.

Arborista August 27, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Rebecca, does this mean you are officially a lobbyist now?

hagajim August 27, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Looks like Swift Boaters redux.

johnnyzhivago August 27, 2012 at 6:09 pm

If Obama was half a man, he would have blown that kid's head off, not bowed to him!

iamrrm August 27, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Suck Off Fat Ass is responsible for the content of this message.

johnnyzhivago August 27, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Chris Christie, National Chairman

MosesInvests August 27, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!

Angry_Marmot August 27, 2012 at 6:39 pm

None of these guys attended Julliard.

johnnyzhivago August 27, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Special Operations for America – sounds a group that collects quarters in cans at the supermarket.

Maman August 27, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Glad to see that Rebecca didn't get blown away by that "Hurricane" created by the National Hurricane Center-National Weather Service-NOAA-Commerce Dept, i.e. Barack Hussein Obama sent to ruin Republican's beach vacation.

kittensdontlie August 27, 2012 at 6:43 pm

And there's no chance that R-convention will blow her away either, cause it's gonna pretty much suck.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 6:53 pm

She lacks the appropriate parts to be blown away around that many Republicans…

sbj1964 August 27, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Kiss my Converse Leroy!Who's the Master?SHOWNUFF! The Shogun of the White House.

seppdecker August 27, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Special Ops Birther sounds a lot like crazy girlfriend. "I love this country SO MUCH…" /glennclose

Schmannnity August 27, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Too bad SOFA wasn't around to fight the Ottomans.

emmelemm August 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I love a good Ottoman joke.

Generation[redacted] August 27, 2012 at 6:17 pm

That's one way to couch the issue.

FlownOver August 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Today's GOP – every bit as smart as the furniture.
cf. Barney Frank and the dining room table.

MinAgain August 27, 2012 at 6:29 pm

This thread needs a little divan intervention.

Geminisunmars August 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

They're all a bunch of stools.

Chet Kincaid_ August 27, 2012 at 6:32 pm

They are all lazy boys, now.

MittBorg August 27, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Chiffarobes.

Chet Kincaid_ August 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm

The SOFA sleeper cell has finally activated!

smokefilledroommate August 27, 2012 at 6:41 pm

How many more troops to pull out?

TootsStansbury August 27, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Which one adheres to all three pillows of Islam?

carlgt1 August 27, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Reagan & Bush bowed, especially Dubya Bush who held hands with fat Saudi princes. Did they ever think that it's a cultural thing, i.e. a sign of mutual respect, and not some grovelling boot-in-your-face thing (perhaps that's what these unnamed "Special Ops for America" want – their Orwellian boots in everyone's faces?)

Chet Kincaid_ August 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Have you got links of Reagan and Bush bowing? That would be golden.

PubOption August 27, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Here's Dubya in a smooch with a Saudi prince. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRhDzpJV2TM&NR

Hammiepants August 27, 2012 at 6:13 pm

SOFA is a place fat fucks sit and watch Fox News and eat pork rinds and drink Coors. It is known.

johnnyzhivago August 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Hey, I'm drinking a Coors right now!

Coors is a socialist Canadian beer now!!

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 6:55 pm

We only have Coors Lite up here… Apparently Coors Fat is only for Americans… Take that however you want…

johnnyzhivago August 27, 2012 at 8:12 pm

I'm trying to gain weight! Don't want my neighbors to think I'm a liberal!

viennawoods13 August 28, 2012 at 12:04 am

We don't consider it Canadian up here- it's not like it's Molsons.

johnnyzhivago August 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Mitt Romney would have had Osama thrown into a tree shredder instead of all this "respecting Islamic customs" nonsense!

imissopus August 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Oh fer fuck's sake.

FlownOver August 27, 2012 at 6:29 pm

We have an acronym for that now, ya know.

Callyson August 27, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Yes, but sometimes there's no substitute for typing out the full phrase.

smokefilledroommate August 27, 2012 at 6:45 pm

SOFA?

Tequila Mockingbird August 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm

That's it. Everyone needs to stop making YouTube videos for the next two years. The site should be taken down, and everyone who posts there should pay attention to their jobs, girlfriends, boyfriends, families, community activities, social activities, and social lives. This would mark a great improvement on contemporary society.

natoslug August 27, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Just as long as I don't have to stop posting videos of the wife/girlfriends on youporn, I'm cool with that.

sullivanst August 27, 2012 at 7:10 pm

You will if the GOP platform is ever implemented.

James Michael Curley August 27, 2012 at 6:38 pm

I find half the YouTube videos someone wants me to see end up with audio I don't get. My audio is set up to get most but it seems some are really out there in what was done. If I can't get the video to work in 15 seconds, fugeddaboutit.

SorosBot August 27, 2012 at 7:01 pm

But where will I get my cute kitties playing, and fake credits for Community set to the Buffy theme song?

johnnyzhivago August 27, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Restrict YouTube to kitten videos!

viennawoods13 August 28, 2012 at 12:05 am

And Craig Ferguson uploads.

mwittier August 27, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Make 'em use PowerPoint. That'll shut it down.

orygoon August 27, 2012 at 6:14 pm

That little boy is totally going to grow up and be president some day, and occupy that very office-without-corners, and I will have voted for him. Doesn't he look nascently Presidential to you? (Also adorable, too.)

MittBorg August 27, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Yup on both counts. Adorbz & also too Prezanuntal.

Negropolis August 28, 2012 at 12:21 am

Apparently, once you go black you never quite find your way all the back, so his chances seem distinctly enhanced by the election of one Barack Huessein Obama. I, for one, welcome our woolen-headed future overlords.

MittBorg August 28, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I'm really really really hoping that this is true. When I was a sprout, all the SF I read had Black presidents, male and female. I don't want to die without seeing the SECOND Black POTUS and hopefully at least ONE Black FEMALE elected to power.

RadioBowels August 27, 2012 at 6:15 pm

That kid sure has a nice Nazi salute.

coolhandnuke August 27, 2012 at 6:15 pm

The hot chick from "Bow Wow Wow" could kick the ass of all these chickenhawks.

Callyson August 27, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Bow Wow Wow? Great idea–I could use a good video after watching that crap from "I thought he was dead" Breitbart's site:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymT8PGiqPP8

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 6:57 pm

You can't kill the Breitbart… When booze/drugs/hypertension struck him down he became more powerful than we could imagine…

T3rbo August 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm

I don't see how this guy's conclusion follows from his points? I was in SEAL, OBAMA NO BOW TO SAUDI! BECAUSE SPECIAL OPERATIONS!!!!11!!!

Working backwards:
1)Iraq war good
2)Me in Iraq War!
so, because,
3)Freedom

mrblifil August 27, 2012 at 6:53 pm

To say nothing of the fact that the Iraq Wars were essentially fought to protect Saudi interests, so in a way the chumps who ended up fighting elective wars of aggression as if they were avenging 9/11 are the ones who may be seen as having bowed. Plus I'm guessing these dudes are Jell-O shot butt slupers par excellence.

Chet Kincaid_ August 27, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Glad you said this.

T3rbo August 28, 2012 at 10:29 am

That may be true, but don't discount the human mind's ability to add meaning to something that is horrible and meaningless. If you spent your entire life training and sacrificing for a war that was totally pointless, for a time, you will be unable to even consider that you have wasted your life. One's life, and mission, must have incredible value if the sacrifices contained in such a life were so great, otherwise, one's life, and sacrifices, were totally meaningless. Ego defense (narcissism, etc.) is strongest in those who have endured trauma because the trauma sends a message that the traumatized is worthless, and if this trauma was endured whilst tilting at windmills, the defense may be extreme.
Whoops, too deep?

MittBorg August 28, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Nope. I've been saying it for years. But it's good to hear it coming from someone who actually experienced all that shit firsthand.

Dashboard Buddha August 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Oh yeah, David S. Bernstein. I see your "bow-er" and raise you a fucking

Rape Denier.

Mahousu August 27, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Betelgeuse 3 was kind of a letdown after the excitement of Betelgeuses 1 and 2.

FlownOver August 27, 2012 at 6:32 pm

That's what happens when you have to replace Michael Keaton with some honk from Chelsea Lately.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 6:58 pm

I see your Beetlejuice joke and raise you a Ford Prefect joke…

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so…

sullivanst August 27, 2012 at 7:01 pm

This shit is making me want to get drunk enough to teleport in comfort.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:11 pm

I have yet to experience a time when I haven't wanted to be that drunk… But I needz moar peenutz!

iamrrm August 27, 2012 at 6:17 pm

We should all be forever grateful to Eunice Kennedy Shriver for creating Special Operations for America.

BZ1 August 27, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Wow, it took 10 seconds to find out raging crazy Ryan Zinke, a GOP state senator and former Navy SEAL commander is behind the Special Operations for America.

Lucidamente1 August 27, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Needs moar boobies.

T3rbo August 27, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Yeah, why not?
"These are naked, naked boobies. I was a Navy Seal. NO VOTE FOR OBAMMY!!11!!"

ThankYouJeebus August 27, 2012 at 6:19 pm

I hope you used protection if you touched his mouse. (You are lovely!)

OneYieldRegular August 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm

There are hundreds – maybe thousands, maybe even millions – of reasons I'll vote for Barack Obama, but one of them is that he seems to be one of a handful of people in the United States capable of demonstrating some humility.

Negropolis August 28, 2012 at 12:28 am

Of all his traits, the one I find my favorite is his universal curiosity about shit in general. If our cowboy president had had a tenth of the curiosity about existence that Obama has, we'd be much better off, today.

SayItWithWookies August 27, 2012 at 6:20 pm

You know, sometimes when you're a rich, well-armed behemoth and the world's only superpower and you're not an insecure, xenophobic frightened half-man, you don't mind doing something that appears outwardly humble. Because you're a rich, well-armed behemoth and the world's only superpower and not some scabrous, insecure, score-keeping small-minded sissy.

Callyson August 27, 2012 at 6:21 pm

President Bush dancing in Saudi Arabia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF5MhzFdBsU&fe

Assholes.

ChillBill August 27, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Saudis called this "Dancing With The Tards."

bflrtsplk August 27, 2012 at 6:21 pm

“We sacrifice not because we have to … we fight because we need to.“ Aren`t have to and need to the same?

FlownOver August 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Pedant.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 27, 2012 at 8:18 pm

No, moron, it's not because you need to. It's because the country needs it done.

SorosBot August 27, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Yeah, how dare Obama use a gesture of respect that every other President ever has also performed!

Really, they are still on this bullshit? What's next, more teleprompter "jokes"?

sullivanst August 27, 2012 at 7:04 pm

57 states, uv cawse. Also too, corpse man.

Chet Kincaid_ August 27, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Again I ask: have you got links to that? Because nobody ever mounted any kind of defense of Obama for bowing when it happened (that I saw).

janicket August 28, 2012 at 12:01 am

They try to do the TelePrompTer jokes, but half the time to feed on their TeleprompTer goes wonky and they screw up the reading.

Their audience laughs anyway, because Obummer + TelePrompTer = "Lookit the incompetent blah person what cain't do nuffin without affirmative action, hyuk hyuk hyuk!"

Why, yes. Yes, I AM showing off with the capitalization.

outragedcitizen August 29, 2012 at 8:34 am

He should also be ashamed for putting his feet up on the Resolute desk like every other WHITE president has done.

Lucidamente1 August 27, 2012 at 6:22 pm

The best ad I've seen since Thomas Dewey's attack newsreel in the '44 campaign ("FDR, if he can't stand for the national anthem, how will he stand up to Hitler and Tojo?").

Calapine August 27, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Was that an actual campaign slogan? You'r not making this up?

iamrrm August 27, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Betelgeuse 3? I haven't seen Betelgeuse 2. Is at available from Netflix?

MinAgain August 27, 2012 at 6:25 pm

That top pic is so adorable that it threatens to render my snark inoperable.

IonaTrailer August 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm

I love it that one of the anarchist soldiers who planned to overthrow the gubermint was named Michael Roark – COINCIDENCE??? I think not.

In related news, (See needs more boobies) there is a faux Sarah Palin stripper in Tampa who is apparently packing the house. Editrix, I think this bears looking into? http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/faux_palin_

Chet Kincaid_ August 27, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Not "a" Sarah Palin stripper, "The" Sarah Palin Stripper!!

Chet Kincaid_ August 27, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Did anybody think this ad wasn't coming?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Yes, how dare the American President be respectful of other people. It is almost like he is a foreigner or something. Damn it Obama, you can't drop bombs on people while you are bowing (unless you are a Texan with a Saudi prince, but that is different).

ChillBill August 27, 2012 at 6:31 pm

But seriously, what the fuck does being in Military have to do with your President bowing?

miss_grundy August 27, 2012 at 9:52 pm

What does being in the military have to do with anything? There are plenty of asshats in the military and when they are disrespectful of the CiC, they dishonor their uniforms and their country.

Tundra Grifter August 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Is there an anit-FoxPAC video pointing out they gave the name and location of the former SEAL who is having a book published about the Osama raid?

Or, because it was ok to disclose Valerie Plame's identity, exposing this war hero to a world-wide terrorist assult is also no biggie?

Callyson August 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Speaking of videos, I *know* some of you Wonketteers won't like this:

The GOP platform committee has included a plank in this year's draft document calling for "vigorous" enforcement of anti-pornography laws…
The new language replaces previous platform wording, which only opposed child pornography. It will now read, "Current laws on all forms of pornography and obscenity need to be vigorously enforced." Trueman noted that current federal obscenity laws not only prohibit distribution of hardcore pornography on the Internet but also on hotel/motel TV, on cable/satellite TV, and in retail shops.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/27/gop-anti

IonaTrailer August 27, 2012 at 6:41 pm

50 Shades of wtf

SorosBot August 27, 2012 at 6:59 pm

You'll take my porn from my cold, dead hard drive!

But I thought the Republicans don't hate sex, they just want to protect the cute little blastocysts.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:04 pm

I've lost far, far too much pornography to cold, dead hard drives… :(

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:04 pm

So… you plan on prohibiting distribution of hardcore pornography on the INTERNET? Yeah… good luck with that…

MittBorg August 27, 2012 at 7:18 pm

I'm thinking Repuglycuntz really don't know very much about life at all.

sullivanst August 27, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Apparently the GOP plan for diversification involves also alienating all the old white men.

miss_grundy August 27, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Considering that these wankers are the first ones to look at porn while pushing their family values this is rich… Again, why aren't there reporters out their showing these jerks exercising their non-family values???????

MilwaukeeKent August 28, 2012 at 12:56 am

Saw a stat somewhere that indicated the Red States, especially the South, had the highest rates of porn viewership, not that there's anything wrong with that.

MittBorg August 28, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Yup. Utah tops the list. Of people PAYING for porn on the InterNetz. No wonder their church finds it so easy to pry the tithe out of their hands. Damn motherfuckers are dumber than a three-day-old squirrel on crack.

Generation[redacted] August 28, 2012 at 1:17 am

No pornography? My god, the Internet will collapse!

Tundra Grifter August 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm

OK, Rebecca, which pickup line works the best?

A. "Hi. I'm a reporter with the Boston Phoenix."

B. "This is my last night in town."

Antispandex August 27, 2012 at 6:34 pm

This could be the worst thing since G.H.W. Bush puked on the Japanese Prime Minister. Well maybe not, because that was AWESOME! OK, not if you were the Japanese Prime Minister. Srsly though, do you want a pussy who cozzies up to those foreigns, or someone that pukes on them? I think we know where the heartland stands on this one!

T3rbo August 27, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Yeah, exactly. We need someone who will go up to that bastard and karate chop him in the god damned neck. "This is for 9/11, you Saudi bastard!" And ride off on a sweet fucking dirtbike.
Oh no, they got me-SPECOP for America has appealed to my inner illogical 11 year old!

tessiee August 27, 2012 at 11:21 pm

'We need someone who will go up to that bastard and karate chop him in the god damned neck. "This is for 9/11, you Saudi bastard!" And ride off on a sweet fucking dirtbike."

Mountain Dew Camacho?

MosesInvests August 27, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Real Japanese slang-"Bushururu." The act of puking on someone.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I thought it was Bushkaki…

MosesInvests August 27, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Just Googled it-actually, "Bushuru". I added an extra "-ru". Sorry.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Bushkaki is funnier, you have to admit that…

PubOption August 27, 2012 at 7:54 pm

That sounds more like he's shitting on them.

fuflans August 27, 2012 at 6:41 pm

OT BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY DO I LISTEN TO MARA LIASSOM?!!?!?!?!?!

Chet Kincaid_ August 27, 2012 at 7:17 pm

What is it this time, Dear?

fuflans August 27, 2012 at 7:29 pm

hehehehehe

mavenmaven August 27, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Was that another trailer for that silly D'Souza film?

LibertyLover August 27, 2012 at 6:43 pm

That's all they've got?

IonaTrailer August 27, 2012 at 6:46 pm

“Navy SEALs, Special Operations Personnel and Veterans across America have been outraged since Barack Obama conveniently took credit for killing Osama Bin Laden for political gain,”

I'M SO SURE! All the Navy Seals I know think the Bamz is the bomb.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I'm sure they're also thrilled that Disney copyrighted the term "Seal Team Six" :P They're all going to be celebrity seal cartoons!

sullivanst August 27, 2012 at 6:48 pm

SOA? SOL more like. Their brains are clearly MIA.

Self-Uploader August 27, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Brilliant visual, Rebeca, because what it comes down to is which is really scarier to the rethugagains? That the President bowed in front of a Saudi or that he showed a little boy that a man with nappy hair can be President of the United States.

polnick August 27, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Poverty stricken white racists should vote for Obama, if Romney wins he will trash their trailer parks, close down their meth labs, and chase the rednecks into homeless shelters. Displaced blond blue eyed mountain mommas will have no choice but to beg NBA stars for a home.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:02 pm

So, the kid from a (presumably) small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse… How many mothers does he share with Zaphod Beeblebrox?

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Is B. not traditionally phrased as "I'm shipping out in the morning"?

emmelemm August 27, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Tundra Grifter August 27, 2012 at 7:23 pm

I dunno about that. I had a t-shirt (All American Boy, Castro Street, San Francisco) printed across where the pocket would be "Last Night In Town" and I was very, very happy with the results.

BlueStateLibel August 27, 2012 at 7:11 pm

The cons always bring a knife to a gun fight. Here's Bush II making out with the King of Saudi Arabia http://tinyurl.com/9xfh72n

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:16 pm

I hope it doesn't bother you, but I posted that link as a comment on the original article…

BlueStateLibel August 27, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Damn, good job. When you click on the URL, all the photos of Dubya making out with King Saudi show up right there on the page.

SorosBot August 27, 2012 at 7:16 pm

"he is selling out the entire planet to Zorubi, Boy King of Betelgeuse 3. "

But Betelgeuse is a red supergiant, formerly a blue giant, which will soon (in astronomical terms) go supernova and is not, nor will it ever be, old enough for any planets it may have to develop life.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 7:54 pm

I suppose "the vicinity of Betelgeuse" doesn't mean "in the Betelgeuse solar system" but c'mon man, Ford Prefect came from SOMEWHERE… and it was "a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse"… If the fundies have shown me anything it's that if something is in a book that you like enough, it's absolutely true even if it contradicts facts…

So… You're wrong, dude…

mindo99 August 27, 2012 at 7:26 pm

If there's one thing I learned this from the swift boaters, it's that no one is above being questioned about their military service. With that in mind, my guess is that Special Ops does a lot of birthday cake deliveries for military brass and pretend missions, but that's about it. Except when the president asks for results, that is.

Do I win a prize?

Terry August 27, 2012 at 7:51 pm

With an apology to friends and family in the Marine Corps, do you know what the term Marine stands for? Muscles Are Required Intelligence Not Essential.

An old Army guy told me that.

johnnyzhivago August 27, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Forget these idiot Seals and checkout my kittens! (Actually they are older now and most have found new homes!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed

Check out my Hummingbirds too!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed

tessiee August 27, 2012 at 11:26 pm

Squeeeee!!
Kitties!

MittBorg August 28, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Wut tessiee said. I'm totally squee'd on teh kittehs.

eaglewon August 27, 2012 at 8:30 pm

didn't Bush hold hands and kiss the Saudi king? Didn't Bush bow to the Queen of England?

randcoolcatdaddy August 27, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Aw…so cute. Obama bows down to let the little kid rub his head.

If it were Bush, the President would be saying to the poor urchin, "Pull my finger."

blatherous August 27, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Okay, darn it. I thought it said "Wankette" and expected lots of pleasurable women.

My bad.

Warpde August 27, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I was wondering why the Obama Campaign released this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhnUgAaea4M

MittBorg August 28, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Sweet Lawdy Jebus. You should read the *comments.*

dmnolan August 27, 2012 at 10:33 pm

You've got to admit the dreamy music and the face-paint won you over, ¿No?

Negropolis August 27, 2012 at 11:07 pm

But, it's totally al lright if your president is frenching saudi princes and holding their hands like an infatuated young couple, right?

Fuck you, SOFA.

MittBorg August 28, 2012 at 2:23 pm

It's ALL about being BLAH, don'tchu know? It's perfectly OK for our WHITE Presidents to do whatever they want, but anything our BLAH President does must be endlessly analyzed by the pinheads on Pox Ooze who want to know if this *particular* fist-bump might yet be that elusive *terrorist* fist-bump for which they're searching.

I just KNOW you read Ta-Nehisi Coates' piece, what did you think of it?

Jus_Wonderin August 28, 2012 at 7:17 am

It is tooooo fuckin' early to laugh this hard.

ttommyunger August 28, 2012 at 7:45 am

Pasty-faced pantload Rightards can only see Barry's huge fucking gunboats and hate him even more; because big feet, big……..!

DahBoner August 28, 2012 at 9:21 am

But does he have any pictures of Obama holding hands and kissing a Saudi king?
http://www.shtfplan.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/0

WHERE'S THE LOVE BREITARD BABY???

Generation[redacted] August 28, 2012 at 9:37 am

Okay, so where's the re-edit where some clever replaces the image of Obama bowing with Bush kissing and holding hands?

DalePues August 28, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Than!ks Rebecca, See, this photo is why I still like Barack Obama, despite all the bad bankers and the surge stuff. Measure a man by the way he treats a child.

garryboldwater August 28, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Why is Emmanuel Lewis in the Oval Office?

outragedcitizen August 29, 2012 at 8:32 am

Just my opinion but if this country showed just a bit more humility then maybe half the world wouldn't hate our guts and spend their entire lives trying to think up ways to blow us up. Just sayin'

MittBorg August 27, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I have never been got like you just got me, dood. Ears AND tail to SavageDrummer.

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