secret weather plots

A Children’s Treasury of Contrarian Republican Commentary on Hurricane Isaac

Secretly awesome?What is Hurricane Isaac to certain more outspoken member of the Republican party? A disaster, perhaps, that could destroy the northern Gulf Coast yet again? Maybe it’s an Obama Commerce Department conspiracy. Or a welcome opening of the skies that keeps Joe Biden away. Or maybe it’s nothing, and no one should give a shit, as long as Republicans win the election. Let’s share some Republican “takes” on Hurricane Isaac, the official storm of RNC2K12.

Rush Limbaugh has a theory about Hurricane Isaac; let’s post it again. Limbaugh is very clear, while delivering his conspiracy theory, that he is not delivering a conspiracy theory:

Rush Limbaugh, while repeatedly insisting he is “not alleging a conspiracy,” suggested Monday that the National Hurricane Center’s forecast models for Tropical Storm Isaac were altered to help President Barack Obama and “cast a pall” over the Republican National Convention.

“I’m not alleging conspiracies here. The Hurricane Center is the regime; the Hurricane Center is the Commerce Department,” Limbaugh said on his talk show. “It’s the government. It’s Obama.”

Related video

But according to Ted Cruz, then, isn’t the evil Obama Commerce Department doing Republicans a favor? “We have some many things to be thankful for, so many blessings,” Cruz said at yesterday’s Faith and Freedom Coalition gathering in Tampa. “We can be thankful for Hurricane Isaac. If nothing else it kept Joe Biden away.”

Rep. Darrell Issa said he “doesn’t care” about a hurricane ruining everything, as long as he can turn it into a terrible metaphor about Republicans regaining control of the White House:

“I think what you have to remember is Republicans are going to take Washington by storm on January 20th of next year, so if this is the first storm of Republicans taking control of our country again, making America competitive again, I’m fine with that. I don’t care if we get blown in by a hurricane or a tornado, ultimately there’s going to be an earthquake in Washington next January.”

And with that, all opinions about Hurricane Isaac have been offered.

[Politico, Buzzfeed, Politico]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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329 comments

    1. SavageDrummer

      He's Storm. Barack Obama is just his secret identity, he's really an African princess with the mutant power to control the weather… You should see him with his weave, uhh… girlfriend!

    2. just_a_head

      Of course. If a bitterly flaps its wings in the Sahara it can cause a volcano to erupt, yada yada

      Same thing…if a fascist, commie, black man is born in Kenya…same thing.

      1. tessiee

        Not to nitpick, but I think it's kinda funny that in a comment about the Republicans bitching and moaning about Obama yet again, you typed "butterfly" as "bitterly".

    3. tessiee

      You know that stiff neck you woke up with the other day?
      Obama's fault.
      And that extra three pounds that just appeared out of nowhere?
      Totally Obama's fault.
      And that dickhead who wouldn't let you merge onto the freeway?
      Taking orders directly from the Kenyan muslin.
      etc.

    4. actor212

      If you're going to speculate that Barack Obama has his hands on HAARP and can somehow control or even influence severe weather, it might be a good idea to try to get on his good side, instead of pissing him off.

      Just sayin'. After all, these are the asshats who pray to get in God's good graces ahead of tornado season or hurricane season or blizzard season or…or just after the indictment's been handed up.

  1. bumfug

    Rep. Darrell Issa said “I think what you have to remember is Republicans are going to take Washington by storm on January 20th…"
    Well, sorta like a storm – they'd definitely leave devastation in their wake.

    1. Sparky McGruff

      Darrell Issa knows about taking things. If Obama leaves the window open, Darell will hotwire the election and drive it off to a chop shop.

  2. YouBetcha

    I'm sure there will be many attendees taking shelter in Tampa's fine homosexual-populated-adult-beverage-serving establishments.

        1. MittBorg

          Hey, sweetpea! So glad to see youse! (Hugs the little star, kisses each cheek)

          Is the Republican meltdown fun or wut? You got popcorn? (proffers bowl)

          1. vtxmcrider

            Etiquette requires that the popcorn come out awhile after the bowl has been passed and taken effect.

    1. Tequila Mockingbird

      The link is here. I was trying to fix it when someone replied, damnit:

      "At this moment in time we're quite literally looking at a hurricane here in Florida. We're looking at a political hurricane in this country. We are looking at a spiritual hurricane in our land. And it is time for each one of us to show up and suit up and stand up and realize that in this time and in this day we pour it out for Him."

      1. SavageDrummer

        "What in the hell is that woman talking about?" – What I say every time I hear Michele Bachman talk.

        1. SavageDrummer

          Marcus hasn't ever let her see that… No, Marcus is a good christian man and he won't allow his god fearin' wife to see his penis until 6 months after he's dead.. That's in the bible!

          (Note: His buddies are allowed to come over and play with it all the time because that's just good christian fun!)

      1. SorosBot

        Who knows; under that FUPA I doubt anyone has seen what that dick looks like in half a century.

  3. The_Lucky_Wife

    That Kenyan usurper in the WH have got the Gopers so off-balance, they can't stay on message like they used to. Their opinions are all over the place; it's actually quite refreshing, or would be if they used their brains when forming their opinions.

      1. SavageDrummer

        Most recent memo by Luntz: Just say whatever on rape, what's the worst that could happen?

      1. bobbert

        Man, it's been hot even up here in the low foothills. Fucking Obammaz.

        (Although it cooled off a bit today — probably Bamz snickering about the cancellation of the first day of the RNC).

    1. WhatTheHeck

      I tell you, this man Obama is so powerful, I’m scared. Its like he’s the god of hellfire.

        1. MilwaukeeKent

          OT, but true: a friend was in a Kmart years ago when this song came up in the Muzak rotation on the PA. "I am the god of hellfire! And I bring you [beep] "SHOES!" [beep]…" and the song continued.

  4. Self-Uploader

    I'm confused. So are they saying it's Obama's fault or are they calling it the wrath of God coming down to sweep the Republicans into power in which case, shouldn't it have hit Broward County and not Tampa?

  5. MissTaken

    I don’t care if we get blown in by a hurricane or a tornado, ultimately there’s going to be an earthquake in Washington next January.”

    Rule #1 of living in earthquake country: We Don't Fuck Around With Earthquake Jokes

          1. GemlikeFlame

            No. However, the big pharma conspiracy theorists are almost certainly going to conflate it with Prozac.

          2. GemlikeFlame

            Shhh, explaining it kills the joke. Just doing my part to make everybody's day a little more surreal.

            I have thirty freshmen about to attempt their first class on Game Theory, pray for me.

            Upon further reflection, don't.

          3. GemlikeFlame

            It is my distinct pleasure to announce that I finally have a single follower. It took me several hours deconstructing HTML to figure out who it was so that I could return the favor, and found, to my untrammeled and thoroughly egotistical delight that it is our very own MittBorg. I have rarely had that kind of compliment, and would be even more delighted if IntenseDebate's follow-this-person link actually did what it was advertised to do. Perhaps IntenseDebate dislikes Safari, not sure, but I'll try another browser or two on the morrow.

            Thank you, sir/ma'am, you made an aging nerd very happy. I'm equally sure this won't do my reputation meter any good, but I am way past caring about that.

          4. MittBorg

            Dood, it's my undiluted pleasure being as how you are delightfully argumentative and well armed with facts, not to mention witty in the extreme. I am so looking forward to a long, delightful, mutually entertaining relationship, also too. Us aging nerds have to stick together 'n shit.

            ID doesn't like any browser AFAIK. Hey, man, it's GREAT for your reputation to be followed around by a Borg. Simply great. Just stay well out of assimilating distance.

    1. SavageDrummer

      It's almost as though this "god" person doesn't exist or if (s)he does that (s)he doesn't have any control over the weather or… well… much of anything else…

      But that couldn't be!

      1. MilwaukeeKent

        They say this God works in mysterious ways — it's a kind of cosmic "Get out of jail free" card which means they can say any damned thing about him that comes into their heads.

    2. MittBorg

      Au contraire, I'd say god is displaying a convincing bias TOWARDS gays and heathens and against these fucking louts who have been trying to convince the rest of us they speak in its name.

        1. MittBorg

          I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying the Republican meltdown, because it would totally fucking ruin my reputation here of being, you know, a *nice* guy.

    3. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Maybe this shows that the Republican Party is made up of gays and heathens.

      It is all starting to make sense.

      Or perhaps it is that whole "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to get into heaven" thing.

    4. Negropolis

      Since when has the modern Republican Party not been populated by (closet) gays and (closet) heathens?

  6. coolhandnuke

    Hurricane Isaac is a wingnut's conspiracy theory of the black man giving whitey the "Shaft." Just like "Katrina and the Waves" was another conspiracy to show how clueless and aloof Bush II was.

    1. MittBorg

      Oh, I'd LERVE to give these mofux the shaft till they scream "Just the tip!" They need the mother and father of an asskicking, and it looks like Mother Nature has decided to deliver it herself.

      1. SavageDrummer

        Borg, please… for your own sake… at LEAST triple bag before shafting any of these degenerates…

          1. MittBorg

            I'm enjoying the fuck out of watching the Republicans melt down live, en masse, in public. I've waited nearly TWELVE YEARS to see these fuckers get their comeuppance, and it is SWEET.

          2. MilwaukeeKent

            Not even with someone else's dick. It is tempting though to" sell them a rat's asshole as a wedding ring" (if that wasn't such a Republican thing to do).

  7. Trannysurprise

    "I don’t care if we get blown…"

    Oh someone's getting blown in Tampa. I guess it's better than "forcible rape" since people got all pissy about it.

    1. miss_grundy

      It's just a shame that we have such a spineless media, because it would be wonderful to catch these people doing all sorts of nasty stuff while they were in Tampa and broadcasting it on the internet and all those news shows.

      1. bobbert

        I wasn't going to reply to this stretch, but since no one else has, I'll just slide in this comment.

  8. sbj1964

    GOP weather forecast stupid followed by heavy down pours of fucktard.Winds blowing from they're asses,heavy chops to Medicare,and a huge tidal surge of tax cuts for the super wealthy.

    1. mavenmaven

      I was waiting for the first repub to say how God specifically saved the convention from the storm.

      1. WhatTheHeck

        But god doesn’t see fit to save the people in the direct path of Isaac, does he? I guess no one is praying for them.

          1. Biff

            Living, as I do, on the very edge of Hell, I don't have a lot of bandwidth to mess around on the youtubes much…

          2. MittBorg

            Aw, Biffster! (hugs the Biff) Dammit, why won't people just give the fuck up and elect me god? I would SO take care of the whole world and every creature in it.

          3. WhatTheHeck

            Mitt, That was hilario…
            Wait, there’s a call on my cell from mr. Deity.
            He told me to never call again.

          4. glasspusher

            Awesome. Although, I wiped out big time on my bike yesterday- nothing broken, but I'm pretty fucked up. Why does Mr Deity hate me?

          5. glasspusher

            It's a folding bike I've had for 9 years. First time it's folded when it wasn't supposed to…

    2. MilwaukeeKent

      I'm sure that worked, so now it's up to some god-awful bible church in Mississippi/Louisiana to pray it over to Houston/Galveston, who can punt it on to Mexico to become "What hurricane?".

  9. Lucidamente1

    I'm surprised they haven't gone with the "God shifted the storm west so it didn't hit Tampa" line.

    1. ShuCityRefugee

      I understand that Rev. Pat Robertson has said precisely that – the very same Rev. Robertson whom God keeps alive so that sane people can laugh at him and remember why not to vote for Republicans.

  10. weejee

    ultimately there’s going to be an earthquake in Washington next January

    The Seattle Wonkette drinky thing with the Editrix is being postponed? Becca you said sometime in September???

  11. Nostrildamus

    I don’t care if we get blown in by a hurricane or a tornado

    We shall be blown on the beaches, we shall be blown on the landing grounds, we shall be blown in the fields and in the streets, we shall be blown in the hills; we shall never reach around !!

    1. SavageDrummer

      I will stand on record as saying that I will get blown on the beaches, I will get blown on the landing grounds, I will get blown in the fields and in the streets, I will be blown in the hills….

      So… who's offering?

  12. mrblifil

    Much preferable when Bush had no fucking clue NO was about to be drowned while he ate cake, played pretend guitar, and had to have his staff prepare a DVD of collected news broadcasts to get "the Decider" up to speed.

    And you are correct. There is no way anybody would be crass enough to presume that the people advising Bush might have had drowning NO on their agenda to be a case study on how little we need "wasteful government programs."

  13. Pithaughn

    Crikey! Will someone please get on the blower to Obama's Regime Weather Hurricane Office and find out is this or is this not a legitimate hurricane? And don't you believe any of those science analyzing types, you make sure to speak to a supervisor!

      1. LibertyLover

        You'd think with all of the viagra in that state, it would be able to get it up a little higher.

  14. orygoon

    Oh, great. Now it's "let 'em eat earthquake."

    Must consult the rhyming dictionary to find out what's next.

    1. SorosBot

      What's next? Well after it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane – Lenny Bruce is not afraid. Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn, world serves its own needs, dummy serve your own needs. Feed it off an aux speak, grunt, no, strength, The ladder starts to clatter with fear fight down height. Wire in a fire, representing seven games, a government for hire and a combat site. Left of west and coming in a hurry with the furies breathing down your neck. Team by team reporters baffled, trumped, tethered cropped. Look at that low playing! Fine, then. Uh oh, overflow, population, common food, but it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed dummy with the rapture and the revered and the right – right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched. It's the end of the world as we know it.

      1. orygoon

        They're rioting in Africa, they're starving in Spain.
        There's hurricanes in Florida, and Texas needs rain.
        The whole world is festering with unhappy souls.
        The French hate the Germans, the Germans hate the Poles.
        Italians hate Yugoslavs, South Africans hate the Dutch.
        And I don't like anybody very much!

        But we can be tranquil, and thankful, and proud,
        For mans' been endowed with a mushroom-shaped cloud.
        And we know for certain that some lovely day
        Someone will set the spark off, and we will all be blown away.

        They're rioting in Africa, there's strife in Iran.
        What nature doesn't do to us, will be done by our fellow man.

  15. mcrummett

    "I don’t care if we get blown in by a hurricane or a tornado…" OK, so the GOP is good with all the damage Isaac is sure to cause? Way to work for the people! Hurricane/Tornado 2012!

    1. SavageDrummer

      Art Bell is moderately entertaining… Rush is just insane…

      Yeah, I listen to Coast to Coast, sue me… :P

      1. Biff

        I can see the beacon lights flashing atop Art's antenna array, about 7 or 8 miles away. He sold his radio station, but still has his compound.

  16. TootsStansbury

    Rust Cornhole really thinks the NWS manipulated the weather models? He does realize there are other models than American ones right? What an insufferable butthole.

  17. elviouslyqueer

    As someone whose various family members have survived Betsy, Camille, Rita, Gustav, and Katrina, I feel that I can safely say to all these pin-headed shitholes:

    Fuck the motherfucking fucking fuck off, you fetid assbaskets. Enjoy Hell, also, too.

    1. MittBorg

      If I didn't know better, I'd think you were a tad *bothered* by the assfuckery of the Republican party.

      ETA: Hoping you and all your family are safe.

    2. bobbert

      I was supposed to report for active duty in Biloxi on the day Camille came ashore. I stopped in Jackson and went to Biloxi the day after, figuring nobody would care (they didn't — I probably could have waited a week, but then I would have missed the dead horses).

      My point, such as it is — hurricanes, like earthquakes and tornadoes, are not fucking metaphors, and if this one happens to miss those fuckers in Tampax, it's gonna hit somebody else. Happily, it sounds like it'll only be a Cat 2.

        1. bobbert

          Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that a Cat 2 couldn't cause damage. Just that it probably won't carry freighters a half mile inland.

          1. Arborista

            Sorry- I didn't intend to sound reproachful- I didn't think you were saying a Cat 2 wasn't dangerous.

        2. MittBorg

          Yes, all good thoughts to you and yourn and everyone else in the hurricane's path. Good thing is, state & Fed govt seem to be on top of this already, with lots of people jumping in to help others out. Obama has signed the emergency declaration for LA, and NOLA seems prepared.

  18. kittensdontlie

    Issa transcript reworked by NYT for greater clarity: "What will feel like hurricanes will blow us from the right, and tornadoes blow us from the left, until we can take no more blowing, and are left quaking in our airport restroom stalls. We will bring competitive blowing to Washington this winter, taking the city by storm."

  19. SayItWithWookies

    And with that, all opinions about Hurricane Isaac have been offered.

    Let's see — we've got conspiracy theory, extended clumsy metaphor, divine wrath, redemption from divine wrath, just plain stupid — wait, something's missing. What could it be? Oh yeah — science.

    1. PsycWench

      So cute! And I'm not kidding, I felt love rays emanating from the photo, there was so much love directed at that baby.

    2. fartknocker

      This so reminds me of the birth of daughters. My wife looked at me after I brought each of them home on the 3rd or 6th day (complications with the 2nd daughter Loretta) and said "they learn hate." I'm proud of my daughters and I am proud for you Limey. Just don't let them learn hate. Celebrate these moments and mark every calender with birthdays and holidays.

      I hope Mr. Limeylizzie health is well. And thank you for sharing this with all of us. It's a special moment.

  20. Rotundo_

    Having a natural disaster in the middle of a man-made (literally, since no one on the platform comittee was equipped with a vagina) disaster might be enough to convince folks of the existence of some sort of supreme deity. It'll take a whole bunch of lightning bolts in fat spotty white asses to make the sale for me. But if that happened, I would be at the church door the next morning wallet open.

    1. SavageDrummer

      Hey, it's super SUPER easy for Christians to prove that they're right…

      Just have their god come down and tell us that they're right… Like.. perform a few miracles create a universe y'know, pedestrian stuff for a god… Just have him come down and do it… That shouldn't be too complicated, right?

      1. miss_grundy

        I don't think God is very much into these people, after all Jesus said the "meek will inherit the earth" and these jerks aren't paying attention to anything He said.

  21. ElPinche

    APPARANTLY YOU LIBS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAARP IS AND THE GLOBAL POWER OBAMA AND NWO HAVE OVER CLIMATIC FREEDOM.

  22. fuflans

    Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow!
    You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout
    Till you have drench'd our steeples, drown'd the cocks!

    etc.

    1. OneYieldRegular

      What with all that blowing, drenching, cracking of cheeks and drowning of cocks, that kind of talk is absolutely unacceptable in Elements of Literature for Christian Schools. For shame.

  23. Crank_Tango

    Hmm. plan a convention in Florida during hurricane season and blame Nobama for the hurricane. Those fuckers have some real chootzpah alright.

  24. PsycWench

    "“I’m not alleging conspiracies here. The Hurricane Center is the regime; the Hurricane Center is the Commerce Department,” Limbaugh said on his talk show. “It’s the government. It’s Obama.”"

    Likewise, I am not commenting here. I am merely typing letters into the "post a new comment" box.

    1. bobbert

      "I am not saying fuck you with a rusty chainsaw, Limbaugh; I am merely transmitting electrons into the intertubes."

  25. OneYieldRegular

    I don’t care if we get blown in by a hurricane

    Yes, well, we've all known that about the GOP since August, 2005.

        1. RadioBowels

          Eye agree. Let's abstain from further hurricane discussion.

          BTW friend, that FZ quote is my favorite too. I also like "it's like punching an eclair."

          1. Biff

            Not really bitching, it's what we do here–pick a meme and wear it out.I like almost anything FZ said or wrote. I only got to see him live once, at the Berkeley Repertory Theater in 1980. Pissed me off that Frank could smoke onstage, but I couldn't in the cheap seats…

  26. randcoolcatdaddy

    “I think what you have to remember is Republicans are going to take Washington by storm on January 20th…"

    I don't think I've heard anyone call an unfortunate episode of explosive mouth diarrhea a "storm" before.

  27. MonkeyMotion

    Issa should do something productive with his life: like pursue changing the hurricane's name from Issac to Ronald Reagan. Or sticking a fork in his eye. Dickwad.

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      Issa is still pissed that Schwarzenegger screwed him and the maid, but only the maid got a house.

  28. Negropolis

    Kind of off topic, but you want to know how worried Republicans are about November? Just look at the Republican pollsters trolling in states that aren't even close, but polling them with samples that make them look close. There was another poll out of Michigan, today, by Mitchell Research that shows a tie. This has been a polling trolling this state for months trying to make it look close. These fuckers are absolutely terrified.

    1. glamourdammerung

      If they were not terrified of losing so badly, there would not be the whole manufactured "voter fraud" meme (which of course requires disenfranchising non-whites, poors, etc.).

    2. fuflans

      these are the comments that keep me coming back here like a bad addiction.

      everywhere else i turn (including today: the economist's american coverage) immediately makes me want to slit my wrists b/c, it's so bloody close.

      but it doesn't feel bloody close. but then what do i know?

      so. i come back here like a bad addiction.

      1. Negropolis

        Again, only like two of the six or so regular pollsters that have polled here in Michigan show it tied. The two I'm talking about have routinely showed in tied for the last three months despite more reputable pollsters showing the president with a comfortable lead. There is NO WAY Michigan is closer than Ohio or Pennsylvania.

    3. OneYieldRegular

      Yes, they are terrified, but they are also loaded with money and have demonstrated a willingness to play very, very dirty and to steamroll voter and civil rights to get what they want. The feces they've been throwing at Obama the last four years is nothing compared to what I expect to see in the next two months. Send $$, drive a neighbor to the polls, get Irish on your other neighbors: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5OWRRJh-PI

    4. GeorgiaBurning

      They need to keep the candidate credible, otherwise the base won't turn out and they could lose the House. But seriously, a Romney victory is downright scary.

  29. obfuscator2

    i wish these moronic cockwagons would choose a narrative: is barry nobama a nefarious infiltrator secretly pulling the levers of power to destroy america or is he a hopelessly inept academic elitist who ain't never done no jorb kraytion?

    make up your fucking minds, please.

    1. fuflans

      i had this exact conversation with my (WSJ reading) mother last week. i would like to say there was less use of the term 'fuck' but that would be inaccurate.

      1. obfuscator2

        they can be in both modes at the same time. rove was on fox today spinning mittens and the birth certificate joke. turdblossom tried to dismiss the remark while also whining about how barry should have thanked mittens for not being an overt birther during the primaries(nevermind mittens fellating trump at every turn, obviously).

        1. RadioBowels

          actually it's a running theory of mine about the ease these sociopaths swing from bully to victim and back again so seamlessly.

    1. Negropolis

      And, yet, he'll be able to wiggle out of all of this flip-flopping since 40+% of Americans will vote for a ham sandwich if it has an "R" by its name.

          1. Arborista

            Did I say I'm flipping out??? I meant flopping out.

            (Just ask Ann about what I'm like when unzipped.)

        1. MittBorg

          I think the conjunction of his writing taxpayer-funded abortion into law with Romneycare and his reaping some $50 million in profits from Stericycle's disposal of the aborted fetii combined with the fact that he's courting the nutbaggiest of the RWNJ godbag vote is about to sink his ass in a glorious, tear-inducing, bosom-wracking meltdown of a spectacle.

          1. Arborista

            Yes, how DARE those Dems repeat the words Republican candidates have said & use them as weapons against us?

      1. Arborista

        Mitt had better be praying for excellent weather on Nov 6, because I don't know how many folks would brave bad weather to vote for someone they are so lukewarm about…

        If Milquetoast Mitt keeps saying shit like this, the one-issue (abortion-obsessed) voters might not be motivated to show up…

          1. Arborista

            I did know some evangelicals who were disillusioned by Bush somehow not getting Roe v Wade overturned after EIGHT years, & claimed they would show their discontent by either not voting, or voting for a third-party candidate of their own stripe.

            Of course, voting against Obama wasn't on their RADAR like it may be now…

        1. tessiee

          "Mitt had better be praying for excellent weather on Nov 6, because I don't know how many folks would brave bad weather to vote for someone they are so lukewarm about…"

          Yeah, but there are plenty who would run barefoot through the sleet to vote *against* The Black Guy.

          1. Arborista

            There were plenty who turned out to vote against him 4 years ago, also, too. But how many bitter old racists have died since then? And how many people who were terrified of Obama 4 years ago are still terrified?

            I dunno. The people who are loudest about their politics tend to be pretty extreme so it's hard for me to gauge.

          2. MittBorg

            Right now, Obama is beating Romney by 40 points or more among: Women; Latinos; Blacks. I don't think Romney can win the election with *just* the votes of white Republicans and teabaggers. Karl Rove is now openly calling for white Democrats to cross the lines and vote for Romney. They're not even bothering to hide it any more.

    1. Negropolis

      I thought Apollo 11 was supposed to have defeated the Moon Nazis. My bad, Apollo 11 was filmed in an LA studio to convince Americans we had actually defeated the German menace on the moon. I have the hardest time keeping these conspiracy theories straight.

  30. johnnyzhivago

    Re: Romney and Abortion tonight…. This is not surprising…. For a couple of years I worked in a high profile group under another business whiz (Carly Fiorina) and got to see the style and tactics of these phonies up close. Everything was always on the table, values meant nothing and promises to customers or anyone else were whatever you happened to fart out when you thought of it.

    Don't confuse selling and delivery is what we used to say…..

  31. OKthennext

    Darryl Issa: Louisianans hope you get blown down, blown over, "blown in" (whaa?). Never just blown. Never. Ever.

  32. polnick

    This proposal will get Romney votes. Welfare eligibility should be based on the willingness of the recipient to have her tubes tied; dead beat dads must be cuffed, pulled into a doctor’s office and forced to have a vasectomy. Both processes are reversible but pricey. This suggestion will lower taxes, but greedy churches and poverty p-imps stand in the way.

  33. Biff

    What the fuck has happened to the mobile app? Every time I try getting here using my Android tablet, it cinverts the URL to touch.wonkette.com and gets all bizarro on me. Droid phone is fine, PC and laptop are fine…

  34. tessiee

    "Rush Limbaugh, while repeatedly insisting he is “not alleging a conspiracy,” suggested Monday that the National Hurricane Center’s forecast models for Tropical Storm Isaac were altered to help President Barack Obama and “cast a pall” over the Republican National Convention."

    This reminds me from a scene from the old M*A*S*H show:
    Hawkeye: We're trying to make you look foolish, Frank!
    Frank Burns [highly indignant]: Well, I don't need your help!

    1. johnnyzhivago

      It's even worse than that…. The National Bureau of Standards is tinkering with the Atomic Clock at the Naval Observatory and pushed time forward three days for Obama!!!! It's Friday already – and the convention is already over.

      Bastards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. tessiee

    "I don’t care if we get blown in by a hurricane or a tornado, ultimately there’s going to be an earthquake in Washington next January.”

    But they will blow me firs–…
    Oh, wait.
    That doesn't work.
    And anyway, it was Mel gibson.

  36. GeorgiaBurning

    If Obama is really so diabolical and powerful, how come Rush hasn't mysteriously choked on a ham sandwich or Dominican rent-boy by now?

  37. Jus_Wonderin

    OT: I used the margins to park my mouse. Now, apparently I use the margins to launch a popup for some puppet movie. Oh well.

  38. ttommyunger

    Riiiiight. We remember how well you predicted your ascension to the California Governorship once you got rid of Davis, too. Tissue?

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