obama's real father is tan karl marx

Known Crazy Victoria Jackson Films Hilarious… Well, She Films Something

Victoria Jackson, so wacko she has her own Wonkette tag, is entering, we think, year twenty of post-SNL unemployment. To commemorate this, she has taken to interviewing random street people on her Nikon Coolpix and, we presume, going home to edit it and upload it to her YouTube channel that has literally singles of views. The first video is up top. It is truly something when a barrel-chested faux-superhero who vaguely declares his superpower is “helping people” is so clearly the sanest person in a conversation that you find yourself wondering if he’s free for Quiznos later this week and maybe starting up a part-time drywall business.

However, Victoria Jackson cannot let anything be about someone besides her, and so we have to put up with a two-minute rant about Barack Obama’s fourteen communist fathers of fury.

If there was ever a niche for “exhausted-looking middle-aged woman with an inadvisable bow in her hair” roles, Vicki Jackson has that on LOCK.

It is nice that she is non-racistly concerned about Obama’s black genetic predisposition to tyranny. There is no more perfect moment than 1:50 to 1:54, when a giant “pro-life” truck with an aborted fetus rolls by and she sad-faced realizes that virtually any Negro in the world could be Barack Obama’s godless Muslim father.

Someone get her more buttons, stat.

[TheStar.com]

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  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Who?

    • finallyhappy

      What?

      • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

        Why?

        • hagajim

          When?

          • Baconzgood

            How? As in How did I let my self watch even one of those clips let alone both.

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            Where?

          • SexySmurf

            Whore?

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

            Whoops.

          • chicken_thief

            These vids were bad, but they were better than the average Whoopi movie.

          • sullivanst

            Even a Whoopi movie beats Whooping Cough.

          • Arborista

            Whoa!

          • UW8316154

            Huh?

          • Biff

            Hengh?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Lemon curry?

          • Arborista

            Tim Curry.

          • elviouslyqueer

            Masaman curry or GTFO!

          • Arborista

            Agreed. Massaman curry is awesome! (And I'm not just trying to curry favor.)

          • WIDTAP

            Sweet!

          • dmnolan

            How many?

          • chicken_thief

            I'll take "Details that NYT typists Never Ask" for $400, Alex!

          • BerkeleyBear

            Masochism?

    • johnschiap

      If I made a Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart reference here would anyone get it?

    • DahBoner

      AFB.

      Another Fat Blonde…

  • emmelemm

    Inadvisable Bow is my new all-girl band name.

    We will, of course, all be donning inadvisable bows.

    • hagajim

      Funny? I was thinking of naming my band inadvisable bowels.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        *crossing "Inarticulate Bowels" off list of names*

        Damn.

  • YouBetcha

    Her voice is the audio version of salt peter.

    • Gleem McShineys

      Worse, her voice deep fries your peter, first.

  • Barbara_

    Her bangs cover the lobotomy scar nicely. I guess the bow is to cover the metal plate in her head.

    • hagajim

      Does that protect her from the alien signals as well?

      • LibertyLover

        Sadly, no, she still needs to wear mass quantities of aluminum foil (BTW, Aluminum doesn't work as well as tin, but what are you gonna do?)

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    People believe what they want to believe. Which would explain why they think that "Dancing With the Stars" actually features stars.

    • Biff

      Or dancing.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      "My God, it's full of stars!"

  • DrunkIrishman

    I kept waiting for her to accidentally wander into traffic and die.

    • dmnolan

      That's what all those traffic cones and concrete barricades are for. To keep her from bouncing off the cars.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      She's brain-dead already, if that helps.

    • Guppy

      "With votes" dammit!

  • Baconzgood

    Pretty bad when your acting career peaked playing Wierd Al's girlfriend.

    • SorosBot

      Hey now, Weird Al is awesome and that would be a great role for anyone!

      • emmelemm

        I know right???!

        Don't disrespect Weird Al.

      • Baconzgood

        No joke. A friend of mine worked at a bar where Weird Al knew the owner. Weird Al came in when he was playing a show in town to see and hang out with her. My friend and I went to the park for a little midnight Basket Ball after he closed up (Weird Al and the owner left about an hour before). Walking in the park there was Weird Al and his boss sitting in a dark alcove at the park….Wait for it…..

        WEIRD AL WAS FINGERBANGING HER ON A BENCH!!!!!!!!

        True story.

        • ThundercatHo

          I think you should tell that story on your job interviews.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            It's a step up from "One summer at band camp"…

        • prommie

          My English Composition professor gave an example of whatever it is, something about verbs floating around unconnected to any clear subject, and his example was "Walking down the street, it began to rain." But because it involves Wierd Al and fingerbanging, your example is funnier.

          • Crank_Tango

            dangling modifier libel!

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I'm betting his modifier was at least semi-erect at that point

          • prommie

            So the lesson is, never modify your dangler?

          • Baconzgood

            I'll dangle my modify thing where ever I please.

          • Toomush_Infer

            Unless, of course, that's all it can do…..

        • chicken_thief

          Was he all like "wanna smell my finger?" the next day?

        • MissTaken

          I now have 'Eat It' playing on repeat in my head.

          • IonaTrailer

            White and Nerdy here

          • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

            Help me! Mr. Popeil!

        • SorosBot

          That was just awesome.

        • Callyson

          Pics or GTFO.

          Seriously, though, I wouldn't turn him down. I might insist on staying inside the car…or not…

        • DahBoner

          Fingerbang is my new fav band!!!!

      • Chichikovovich

        I'd always been a bit unimpressed with Weird Al, but the parody of Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues" in palindromes converted him to demigod status in my eyes.

        • BerkeleyBear

          Yeah, Bob was a gem. I've never met him, but when you actually break down his songs and what is behind them there's a surprising amount of depth. His lead cut on his latest album, "Perform this Way" is at once a straightforward parody of Lady Gaga, a wink/nod reveal that you can't take anything a manufactured "star" does seriously and a slam of anyone who idolizes that sort of absurd spectacle as "original" or "daring" in any way. Heck of a lot more going on in that than the average pop song.

          Add it to the fact that he was basically a geek in training at Cal Poly until he got onto the Dr. Demento show and he becomes someone I think would have fit right in with my circle of loners and misfits in high school/college.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            "my circle of loners and misfits in high school/college"

            Did You Know:™ 95% of Male Wonkettes could have typed that phrase!

          • viennawoods13

            Hey, don't forget us girls.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Well, loner/misfit circles were strictly separated by gender when I grew up, so I don't know what the kids have been up to post-'82. I understand some girls even read science fiction and play in prog bands now!

          • viennawoods13

            That's when I grew up, too. I graduated from high school in 1978, and I was totally a loner nerd geek girl who read science fiction, and loved Star Wars and (blush) Space 1999.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            But aren't you Canadian? That explains it. You folks were ahead of your time! Why, SCTV was as big an influence in our loner/misfit circle as Python itself!

          • viennawoods13

            Well, maybe. SCTV was pretty cool, too, although I was much more of a Python girl.

          • prommie

            The Starlost.

          • viennawoods13

            Wow. Too nerdy even for me. I had to google that.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Funny thing is, she's the only person in that movie who went downhill from there. Michael Richards, Tony Geary, Fran Drescher, Weird Al himself all went on to bigger things. Even Long Duc Dong from 16 candles (Gede Watanabe) has had steady work the last 2 decades. Hmm, maybe she's the reason it flopped in theatrical release?

      • Baconzgood

        If I recall correctly I think Batman and Indiana Jones Last Crusade were relased that same weekend.

  • SorosBot

    But she was always so convincing on Saturday Night Live at playing idiotic blonde airheads.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I know! And hardly anyone gives her credit!

      • SorosBot

        She was also good at playing a woman who thought it was a good idea to let her cat drive her car.

        • Biff

          Who names their cat Toonces, anyway?

  • WhatTheHeck

    The polka dot bow tells me she is serious.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    In a few more years she's going to start to look like Robin Williams trying to get his kids back.

  • Nibbler of Niblonia

    that bitch's gullet must be so backed up with the semen of casting directors who never gave her the part that it has literally flooded her frontal lobe

    • Nibbler of Niblonia

      *n.b. I am ridiculing her for lack of brain power exclusively, not for the blowjobs she has or hasn't given to casting directors.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Do you think Obama is a communist?

    No, ma'am.

    Then what are you doing here?

    • pdiddycornchips

      Then, the Super Hero asked her to spell communist and she ran away crying.

  • Schmannnity

    Keynote speaker

    • VinnyThePooh

      Keynote screecher.

  • Chichikovovich

    Hmmmm,….Karl Marx had a quite swarthy complexion, to the point where his children called him "the moor". It was enough of an inside joke among his pals that he signed a letter to Engels "The Moor".

    Well, that info, added to Victoria's compelling presentation, has me convinced. Barack Hussein Obama Marx really is the Communist Anti-Christ.

    And I'm not a crank!

    • Arborista

      "And I'm not a crank!"

      And yet I get the feeling that you're winding us up?

      • Chichikovovich

        Back off, tree-man, or I'll start writing in ALL CAPS.—

        • Arborista

          That's tree-hugger to you, sir.

          • Chichikovovich

            Rick Santorum was right – let gays marry and before you know it, you've got man-on-tree.—

          • Steverino247

            Sonny Bono libel!!!!

          • bobbert

            Ouch.

          • Steverino247

            I got yew, babe!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Have you ever seen Karl Marx and Fredrick Douglas in the same room together?!
      http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_35nj7oLdDY/TnbIktPtLrI
      http://mikeely.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/fredri

      I rest my case!!

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    Victoria Jackson is a female Ralph Wiggum. She writes songs about cat poop, has the vocabulary of a 2-year-old, is easily controlled by others, and is obviously eating toxic levels of paste. I can just hear her saying “I once picked my nose until it bleeded!”

    • CrunchyKnee

      True, but her Wookie was always bent.

    • Crank_Tango

      I choo choo choose you!

    • MissTaken

      This is my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end.

      • SorosBot

        That's where I saw the leprechaun. He tells me to burn things.

    • Angry_Marmot

      "This tomato tastes like Grandma!"

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      Me fail English, that's unpossible!

  • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/hamsterpantsworld Hammiepants

    Irrelevancy thy name is…wait, what the hell is this gormless nimrod's name again???

    • RALitherland

      I've often wondered why Americans use "nimrod" where I'd use "dipstick" or "nitwit". I finally checked Urban Dictionary, and it's because kids didn't always understand the jokes in Bugs Bunny. I learn something new every day, thanks to Wonkette.

  • mavenmaven

    Hahaha she inadvertently caught a GOP cosplay fetish rentboy participant on his way to an encounter.

    • Arborista

      Yeah, nice try- I'm still not gonna click on either of those things.

  • Schmannnity

    From the Party of Ideas.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    SH = ShitHead?

  • SavageDrummer

    I can't help but think that Victoria Jackson is the embodiment of Poe's law and she's just running the extremely long con and on her death bed she's going to just be like "gotcha!"

    Man, I hope I'm right…

    • Biff

      Just like we keep waiting for Andy Kaufman to let us in on the joke, right?

  • Arborista

    I have to say that I really like it that the bow-heads are willing to warn me in advance that whatever comes out of their mouths will be inadvisable…

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I take it she's in Tampax, FL taping these?

  • chicken_thief

    Is she the Floridian that was found passed out and topless in the parking lot of a casino when she was supposed to be babysitting?

    *if someone tells me how to do the link thingy so it will show up in red, I'll link in the future.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      OK, it's like this:

      "less than" sign( < ) followed by "a href="yourlinkhere", followed by "greater than" sign ( > ), then Your visible text here followed by "less than"/a"greater than".

      Or you can just dump the link in the comment without formatting, like this:
      <a href="http://shell.cas.usf.edu/mccook/uwy/hyperlinks.html” target=”_blank”>http://shell.cas.usf.edu/mccook/uwy/hyperlinks.html

    • Arborista

      This may help you to make red link thingies too, also: http://www.hyperlinkcode.com/make-hyperlink.php

    • chicken_thief

      Thanks to all!!!!

    • James Michael Curley

      I copy the link into the comment and press Submit Comment. Then I immediately Edit the comment which brings up the link as formatted in the .html language for it to be displayed. Then in the last section enclosed by quotes " " you see a listing of the the link as "_blank>Stuff to appear in Red
      So insert your link, press submit, delete the contents of the last pair of > < and write your own test. The following link will connect you to a brief listing of html coding. Despite the age of CSS / HTML (hypertext mark up language) every singe new web page still requires a primary statement that is is W3 encoded.
      Visit W3Schools

      To get something to appear in Bold, Underlined or Italic
      simply surround the text in "<b.></b.>" "<u.></u.>" or "<i.></i.>" AND OMIT THE PERIODS!

      • chicken_thief

        Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!, Thank you!

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    she is the personification of the neighborhood crazy lady- the one always seen wandering in the streets with a bottle of Boone's Farm in a paper bag. The parents all warn their children not to talk to her, even if she speaks to them first…

  • DoucheWillis

    I wonder if her and Weird Al still keep in touch, even though UHF came out 23 years ago. I envision a scenario where Al is too damn polite to refuse her phone calls, so he just sits there and listens to her babble on about communism and Hawaii while making the universal "crazy" gesture at his wife.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    Well, now that Megs McCain has jumped ship, the old teatards need another bleached zaftig to fap to…

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      otherwise known as the tea party downgrade…

  • ChernobylSoup

    Orlando is north of Tampa, moron. Anyway, they'll provide you with the Minnie Mouse costume when you report to work; you don't have to make your own.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Shit, where's J. Edgar when you need him?

  • Antispandex

    One of the most sad things about the intertubes is that oldish and youngish attention whores alike, can still find a way to whore for attention. Oh, and as a tilt of the hat to old school Wonkettery, I wouldn't fuck her with my brother's dick, and we haven't spoken in 15 years.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I call bullshit. That has got to be Sarah Palin wearing bad Ann Coulter drag after having snorted a kilo of boric acid and gerbil droppings.

  • Goonemeritus

    Is being a crazy right wing conspiracy theorist a lucrative career and if so why didn’t my son’s high school guidance counselor mention it?

    • sullivanst

      Yes, but only if you've been on TV or your dad was famous.

    • James Michael Curley

      He was keeping the best jobs for his "petboy".

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Ms. Jackson will, hopefully, remember from this point on that if a costumed guy says his name is Super Hero, that the SH on his chest will probably stand for just the same thing — and if she were to adopt such a costume, I'd suggest she call herself Slobbering Halfwit.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    Pay no attention folks, it's just another Floridian face eating zombie. Move along, nothing to see here…

  • ThundercatHo

    I thought her new gig was spokesmodel for some pizza chain.

    • chicken_thief

      Herman Cain *offered* her a job?!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Tit for tat.

        She needed tat job.

    • IonaTrailer
    • shelwood46

      Someone must embody the Crazy Bread.

  • SigDeFlyinMonky

    Get her more buttons?! The peyote has done enough damage already!

  • metamarcisf

    Be kind, folks. Victoria Jackson is the funniest SNL cast member since Charles Rocket

    • SorosBot

      What about Chris Kattan or Horatio Sanz?

      • metamarcisf

        They all pale before Brad Hall

  • MissTaken

    We're gonna need a bigger bow.

    • emmelemm

      HA!

  • sbj1964

    Victoria Jackson is like the poster child for PROZAC.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Or Haldol.

    • Chichikovovich

      She has so many problems that her problems have problems. But somehow I don't think that depression is one of them. Perhaps a carefully titrated dose of Thorazine might bring her state to merely "completely deranged".

    • Biff

      I was thinking she is proof that there is a career in Hollywood for the young Palin child who must not be named under penalty of ban-hammer…

  • Pithaughn

    <Weeps>
    served a flaming shot to her once. Thought I was the coolest bartender in town.
    Now feel like a right awful schmuck.

    • Chichikovovich

      That shot was probably what sent her over the edge.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Inaction Jackson.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Other than her voice being several octaves higher, she sort of reminds me of my grandmother in the last couple years of her life; completely insane, prone to believing in a past that simply never happened and a future that was incredibly dire because, you know, Democratic Muslims or whatever. My grandmother WAS actually hit by a car and died, so there's still hope, people.

    • Biff

      Was the car driven by a cat?

      • anniegetyerfun

        That would have been interesting, karma-wise, as my grandmother was a crazy cat lady. But no, just some poor schlub coming off the night shift.

  • ElPinche

    NEEDS MOAR TIM KAZURINSKY

  • MinAgain

    I guess bleaching your hair does cause brain damage, after all.

  • iamrrm

    Will. NOT. Press. Play.

  • UW8316154

    Gawd what a train wreck. She really let herself go after releasing "Control", didn't she?

  • fartknocker

    Her voice is worse than the Queen of Wasilla. Thank goodness I stopped watching it before my ears started bleeding.

  • LibertyLover

    How many cats does this woman own?

  • Estproph

    Did they have aerosol lead paint on the SNL set or in her dressing room?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      She seems more like the "pica chew" type

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    She should seek career advice from Charlie Rocket.

    Too soon?

  • MissTaken

    Does the bow amplify her voice to the level of screeching harpy or is the bow just for show?

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      She's the consummate babywoman. All she needs is a bib and rattle.

    • SorosBot

      The bow proves that she's serious and respectable.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Wow, way to bring out the big guns, RNC.

    Victoria Jackson.

    Or should that be 'Hurricane Victoria'?!

  • RadioBowels

    On the crazy wingtard scale she is a 5.

    • MissTaken

      I assume that's a scale of 1 to 4.

      • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        I'm pretty sure she goes to 11.

        • Steverino247

          Nah, she looks like the type that's asleep by 9.

  • JohannNYC

    Where is Toonces the Cat when we need him? Please drive this crazy woman far, far away!

  • Lot_49

    OT, but Original Wonkette AMC is on MSNBC now, and seems to be getting hotter and more relaxed on the teevee, in addition to already being funny and vicious. What a package!

  • MLite

    It's like she has a telepromter in her head playing a greatest hits loop of the crazy @aol.com e-mails that most of us put in our spam folders. One doesn't get the feeling that there is enough grey matter left in her vacuous bow wrapped noggin for her to even understand the nonsensical words that are coming out of her mouth. Someone get her some help because I don't get the feeling she is competent to live on her own.

  • Hifimikey

    The crazy is strong in this one…

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    I'll bet Super Hero answered a male Craigslist ad and was en route to some hotel room. 'Discreet' must not have been in the ad.

  • sullivanst

    "My name is not important"

  • PhilippePetain

    Oh wow, so that super dude is what a Scientologist who's lived in Clearwater for a while looks like, huh?

  • missannthropethefirst

    She was dropped on her head as a baby, wasn't she?

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    It's like talking to Kootie Pie Koopa.
    http://www.mariowiki.com/images/e/e7/Wendy_NSMBWi

  • IonaTrailer

    The GOP just added an Anti-porn Platform to their manifesto

    Where's the love people?

    • Guppy

      The love is in the marital chambers, face to face, man on top, with the lights off.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    After todays 'thinky' posts, I was hoping for a sideboob….not quite what I had in mind .

    • Steverino247

      Sideshow Boob!

  • poorgradstudent

    Why is she still loose? Isn't she a reason why our hard-earned tax dollars go to Arkham Asylum?

  • Callyson

    "What does that stand for?"

    "Shit Happens. The new GOP campaign slogan…"

  • Toomush_Infer

    I don't think Victoria's going to be successful in either of her two Tampa plans: laid or comedy engagement….

  • mcrummett

    I think the bow looks very nice atop her…head? Sure, we'll go with head.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    The GOP speaking roster seems a bit thin, now they have street corner speakers?

  • LibrarianX

    Noisome Haridan – begone, shrill fuckwitt.

  • WIDTAP

    …and their cushions are quite soft.

  • LibrarianX

    Christ! Someone loosen that bow – her brain hasn't had oxygen since 1974.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    No lie, I could have sworn the baldy tights dude said "I fight Africans" when she asked him what he does.

  • TribecaMike

    I vaguely recall Jackson doing a comedy contortionist act around the time of the second battle of Bull Run.

  • TribecaMike

    Why is she filming people with her phone when there's already a camera filming her?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    when a giant “pro-life” truck with an aborted fetus rolls by…

    i thought you were talking about the verizon truck.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    If you got her and Sarah Palin in the same room, the earth would implode from all that damn whining.

  • rocktonsam

    if there is ever a niche of exhausted looking middle aged women, send em to Rockdale Wisconsin and ask for Sam

    did this one hook up with dennis miller at some point?

  • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

    You know, you get up in the morning, shave your head, put on your tights and your cape, and head out to fight crime on the streets of Tampa, and the next thing you know you're being bothered by some lunatic and you can't get any work done.

  • Generation[redacted]

    I'm waiting to hear from Tunces the Driving Cat.

  • Calapine

    Worthy of M. Night Shyamalan:

    A bald guy in a crazy costume…you expect that worst and he turns out pretty sane. The stockily build woman with the terrible voice is quite mad though!

  • ttommyunger

    Never met her, but I know her. I've fucked women like her; but never twice.

  • Carabella1

    omg, and I've been hoping for years I'd never have to hear to that fucking two year old voice ever again. Just when you get complacent… there she is.

  • Dildeaux

    The Grift! It burns!

  • james

    What does it say about Victoria Jackson that she makes a guy in a spandex hero suit look extremely rational and sane by comparison?