GOP Acts Like Total Dems, Whine to New York Times Typist

  crazy old men

Tea Party "Activists"Hey, here’s a strategy that’s high on wow-factor but lacking in any sort of long-term sustainability: wrapping oneself in the flag to give authenticity to the demonization of gays, the war on caterpillars women, the alienation of Latino/as, the disenfranchisement of African Americans, and the refusal to raise taxes on anyone, ever, in spite of the high costs of maintaining an enormous military-industrial complex that is perpetually in a state of war. As it turns out, this sort of strategy creates factions, factions that are very passionate! Especially when you pretend to be for all manner of “freedom,” unless such freedom involves doing certain kinds of drugs or having abortions or buttseks. In a delightful article called “Republicans Worry About Keeping Factions Reined In,” a New York Times typist helps us learn about all these factions, by interviewing important Republicans and writing down what they say.

TAMPA, Fla. — Mitt Romney arrives here this week to accept his nomination from the increasingly disparate coalition of factions known as the Republican Party, confronting the challenge of unifying them behind him and — should he win — exerting his own authority over a party that is in many ways still forging a post-Bush identity…

Some leaders expressed worry that the turn to contentious social issues in the days leading up to the Republican National Convention, where the party platform is likely to embrace a tough anti-abortion stance and strict curbs on immigration, could undercut the party’s need to broaden its appeal. Many of them said they feared it was hastening a march to becoming a smaller, older, whiter and more male party.

Is this a PROBLEM, though, when your platform openly embraces the idea of disenfranchising non-white males? The New York Times typist does not appear to have asked. But we are guessing that voter ID laws is not enough to ensure the dominance of old white men in the long term.

In some ways, the Republican Party today appears more factionalized — ideologically, politically and culturally — than Republican leaders said they could remember in recent history.

There are evangelicals, Tea Party adherents, supply-siders who would accept no tax increases and a dwindling band of deficit hawks who might. There are economic libertarians who share little of the passion that social conservatives hold on issues like abortion and same-sex marriage. There are neoconservatives who want a hard line against Iran and the Palestinians, and realists who are open to diplomatic deal-cutting.

More than anything, the party is racked by the challenge to the establishment from Tea Party outsiders, who are demanding a purge of incumbents who play by a set of rules that many of these Republicans reject.

Quick interruption: are these Tea Party people really “outsiders” if they are getting elected into important positions, like say, Congress? And which Republicans, other than possibly Olympia Snowe and Ron Paul, reject these “rules,” given that many of them are literally written in the GOP platform?

“The party itself is in a transition time,” said Representative Kevin McCarthy of California, the No. 3 Republican in the House. Highlighting a shift in the House to a younger and less traditional generation of conservative leaders, he said, “My theory is the Senate is like a country club and the House is much like having a breakfast at a truck stop.”

That is a fascinating theory, Kevin McCarthy! You might know Congressman McCarthy from his plot to ruin Americawith the help of Frank Luntz and his defense of mainstreaming Islamophobia. Definitely, this is a guy that should be at the country club and not the truck stop.

It may not be easy. When Republican leaders sought to push the party’s nominee, Representative Todd Akin, out of the Senate race in Missouri, for saying women who are victims of “legitimate rape” rarely get pregnant, Mike Huckabee, the conservative talk-show host and 2008 presidential candidate, came to his defense.

Psst…Todd Akin’s position IS the GOP party platform, but we won’t tell if you won’t.

“There’s a tendency by a lot of folks that says, ‘We have been doing business in the way we have for so many years here, we shouldn’t be burdened by the election of so many people who want to make it difficult to continue doing business as usual,’ ” [Dick Armey] said…

Senator Mike Lee, a Utah Republican who defeated the party’s incumbent, Bob Bennett, in 2010, said his victory reflected voter frustration with the way both parties had dealt with spending and taxes. He pointed to upsets this year in Indiana, where Senator Richard G. Lugar was defeated in the Republican primary by Richard E. Mourdock, a challenger supported by conservatives and Tea Party groups, and Texas, where Ted Cruz, a Tea Party candidate, won the Republican nomination for Senate by beating the candidate backed by Gov. Rick Perry, a conservative Republican.

“A lot of that has resulted from the fact that the federal government has grown so much just in the last two years at an outstanding rate,” Mr. Lee said. “That caused a lot of voters to ask questions that they might not have been so inclined to ask a few years ago.”

But HOW IS THE GOVERNMENT BIGGER, Mr. Lee? We don’t know, because the New York Times typist does not appear to have asked him. Also, the New York Times typist may not be aware of the fact that just about all of these so-called “outsider” and “extreme” positions are LITERALLY WRITTEN DOWN AND CALLED THE GOP PLATFORM. But regardless, we eagerly await whatever disruptions to the convention that will surely be caused by Paultards.

[New York Times]

Related

 
Related video

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

121 comments

  1. actor212

    On Uppers yesterday, Romney's campaign advisor, Avik Roy was left twirling in his own feces trying to at once deny the Teabaggers had any influence on the campaign or the party while acknowledging the very serious contributions they made to, um, the campaign and the party.

    This is what you call "reporting," Mr Nagourney. It does not merely involve transcription in order to stay out of trouble. It's not like Roy had little support: of Hays' four guests yesterday, three were Republicans (one was a Blah republican, to boot), and yet Hays went and asked him the hard question.

    1. PsycWench

      That was pretty impressive and brings to mind a (semi-paraphrased) quote from the late novelist Larry Brown "It's hard to fight when right is not on your side and it's your own fucking up that's causing the problem".

    2. sullivanst

      Before break: activists have very little influence; after break: activists will totally have influence for sure.

      In between? Chris Hayes shouting "You hear that activists? Very little! You will have very little purchase"

      Hmm, wonder what could've caused Roy's volte-face?

      1. actor212

        Also, too, I think Condi's former speech writer caught him on the side and said "Dude! We have elections to win and you're outting your own candidate!"

        I expect to see that quote pop up frequently in superPAC ads this fall.

    1. Antispandex

      And, also, too, it's a newspaper. So I am assuming you mean on-line…no, on the other hand you could be talking about the bird cage liner variety, because the olds still can't get these new fangled cumputers to give them the real news. It's a toss up. But yeah, bullshit either way.

      1. miss_grundy

        They only read Murdoch newspapers, like the NY Post, which is a tabloid. Unfortunately, Murdoch also ownes the Wall Street Journal, which used to be a good newspaper to read for business and real news.

  2. YouBetcha

    In case there is anyone out there who didn't want to read that entire article, let me summarize: Republican assholes trying to appear less assholish, fail to do so.

    1. OneYieldRegular

      And the article is by the NYT writer famously called by Dick Cheney "a major league asshole." Coincidence? I. Think. Not.

  3. ChillBill

    There are evangelicals, Tea Party adherents, supply-siders who would accept no tax increases and a dwindling band of deficit hawks who might. There are economic libertarians who share little of the passion that social conservatives hold on issues like abortion and same-sex marriage. There are neoconservatives who want a hard line against Iran and the Palestinians, and realists who are open to diplomatic deal-cutting.

    .
    But they all still suck, don't they?

        1. BoatOfVelociraptors

          All of them blonde.

          Wait, I need to amend that. S.E. Cupp may very well be the first female brunette conservative talking head since… forever.

    1. Antispandex

      If only SOME candidate could bring them all together to vote for him to lead them into the new American dark ages…..

    1. Arborista

      I think they should all take some time off. Especially Romney- you know he must need to let his batteries recharge…

  4. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    The republican party is dying a long, slow death. Problem is that they are insisting on taking the rest of the country with them.

  5. Goonemeritus

    The GOP just needs more middle aged white guys with a very limited ability for abstract reasoning. I wonder if they have considered a selective breeding program.

    1. Arborista

      I think they're focussing on pressuring women to have unwanted babies, then "educating" them on the LA/TX model, but only if they can't get the child labor laws revoked.

    2. miss_grundy

      They could have the two doofuses (dofi?) who are in my library movie/book group…cause those guys would fit right in….

  6. SorosBot

    "like having a breakfast at a truck stop.”

    What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Hell, what the fuck is a "truck stop"? Is it just some other word this guy's made up for a highway rest stop, or do they have stops where they will only serve truckers and refuse anyone who drives a car?

    1. MissTaken

      Nah, it's a diner/gas station big enough for big rig trucks to drive up to. And it's where you can score lots of meth and get your dick sucked by a low-rentboy. It really is just like the GOP-controlled House.

    2. chicken_thief

      Generally speaking, I like breakfast at a truck stop.

      I skip the meth, rentboys, and lot lizards, though and jes go with a Western Omelette or something like that.

    3. weejee

      Years back stopped at a truck stop in Purcell, Oklahoma. We were the only vehicle in the parking lot that wasn't an 18-wheeler or pick-me-up truck. We survived to tell the tale, but trust me we were the two most polite city boyz you ever did see.

      1. IonaTrailer

        Lee's Wheel Cafe (Hwy 101, CA) had paintings on black velvet of Jesus guiding the trucker through the storm, and I am so sorry I never bought one. It would've been the perfect compliment to my collection of 3-D religious art.

    4. BoatOfVelociraptors

      A truck stop is where fat old white men, originally from the south, get their grits on, while bitching about the government what built them interstates they drive all day. Hi dad!

    5. Antispandex

      A truck stop is a real place. It is where you go to get a delicious, and unfinishable meal, some times with three different kinds of breakfast pork (I know, but some folks will eat that stuff), and get some cheap high calorie snacks, along with a barrel-sized cola, for the road. Just another one of the things that make America number one!

      1. Living in Joy

        And, if you are real lucky, you can visit one that has shower facilities. Shout out to a truckstop on I-40 near Little Rock. They call the truckers when their shower is available. Don't go to the bathroom there because you walk down the same hallway. Scary place.

    6. joobajooba

      I've had a lot of breakfasts at truck stops (French toast is always safe). The most memorable was in Glendive, Montana, where the manager the night before had taken home the key to the closet with the record player, and it was 5 am and the Frank Sinatra record had a skip in it that lasted all through the meal.
      The road!

  7. BloviateMe

    Trying to focus all the hate, bigotry and general wing-nuttery in a unified direction cannot be easy. "Herding cats" comes to mind.

  8. ChernobylSoup

    Hard to believe a party can have that many factions and every single one of them has a completely unworkable worldview.

  9. Baconzgood

    This is what happens when you let the crazies run the asylum.

    These GOPers screwed themsleves with Bush part 2, so to reinvent themselves they think they can get MORE conservative? It's like when a psychiatrist prescribes an anti-depressent that makes the patient more depressed (trust me it happens) and instead of taking the patient off the anti-depressent the Doctor ups the dosage again and again and thinks it will eventually help. The GOP is killing itself.

    1. IonaTrailer

      If the trend continues they'll become anarchists who worship Carlos the Jackal, the Bonnot Gang and Leon Czolgosz.

  10. fartknocker

    If they would eat a couple of Mitt's Bran Muffins, sans the tops with the goody bits, maybe they would take a decent crap and start having meaningful discussions. Nope, that ain't happening. Old, cranky white guys will continue to be old, cranky and white.

    1. orygoon

      I believe that Mr. McCarthy is from Bakersfield, California, which IS a truck stop, and precious little else.

  11. Antispandex

    “My theory is the Senate is like a country club and the House is much like having a breakfast at a truck stop.”

    Sounds too elitist to be a Republican…well, a Republican who goes on record, and not one of those "anonymous sources in the Party". Hope the base doesn't see that…Oh, shit, wait it's the Republicans. They'll still vote however Fox tells them to. Never mind.

  12. elviouslyqueer

    ““There’s not a politician alive in the history of the world who doesn’t say, ‘If you’ll elect me, I’ll change the way I’ll do business,’ ” Mr. Armey said. “The problem the establishment guys have is we’re getting a bunch of guys elected who really mean what they say.”

    Um, Dick? You keep yammering on about how fiscally prudent and conservative are these new buncha guys. If that's true, then let's see them PROVE IT. Tell your cronies to give up their salaries, their cushy offices, their metric fuckton of taxpayer-funded perks, the sweet sweet coin they get from blowing corporate financiers or getting blown by lobbyists, and their utter obstructionism of anything that comes out of the HNWIC's mouth. Until then, kindly STFU about how your new guys are hell-bent on changing anything in Washington.

    1. chicken_thief

      I was thinking about running for office just for the "…getting blown by [hot, female] lobbyists." Can we keep that part? Pretty please?

    2. IonaTrailer

      It's hilarious that they want us to trust them, like a bad boyfriend – after starting two unfunded wars and almost tanking the world's economy.

      GOP: "Aw, com'on Honey, I didn't mean it. I swear I'll never hit you again."

  13. littlebigdaddy

    Still, the story was a hundred times more informative and readable than a Friedman column. (Column of steaming shit, that is).

  14. noodlesalad

    They're so diverse! They've got the racist white assholes, the elitist white assholes, and the crazy survivalist libertarian white assholes.

      1. Toomush_Infer

        It's just because Michael has realized there isn't room for one more mediocre blah mover and shaker in the Democratic Party…..go with your strengths, Mr. Steel…..

  15. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    " the House is much like having a breakfast at a truck stop.”

    So the house is full of white, angry meth addicts? Sounds about right.

  16. bumfug

    Factions, factions, factions! Which will prevail? Will the morons edge out the fools? The dipshits take top spot from the bible-thumpers? Stay tuned for that magic moment when they realize they're all the same and everybody else (i.e., the vast majority of humanity) hates them!

  17. PsycWench

    Well, if they want to eat their young/float their elders out to sea on an ice floe, I'm not going to stop them.

  18. kittensdontlie

    The "House is much like having a breakfast at a truck stop." That's how the R-controlled House makes me feel these days–greasy, dirty and about ready to get sick.

  19. sbj1964

    When did being Bat Shit crazy become a Platform issue for the GOP/RNC?What happened to abortion,fiscal responsibility,Gays in the military,Porno,Fucking over black people, drugs,crime,war mongering,and Gay sex with young boys?They should return to they're strengths.These are the things they really like.

  20. anniegetyerfun

    All of these factions are united in their hatred of a black man running the country, so I say that they'll manage to work out the details.

  21. Callyson

    Some leaders expressed worry that the turn to contentious social issues in the days leading up to the Republican National Convention, where the party platform is likely to embrace a tough anti-abortion stance and strict curbs on immigration, could undercut the party’s need to broaden its appeal. Many of them said they feared it was hastening a march to becoming a smaller, older, whiter and more male party.

    It wouldn't occur to them that they could solve this problem by *changing* some of the party's positions on those contentious social issues, of course…

  22. mavenmaven

    "…forging a post-Bush identity…" Great accidental play on words. The GOP can't do anything that isn't a lie in some way.

  23. ThundercatHo

    I have heard that all manner of unsavory activities occur at truck stops so this comment about GOP congresscritters doesn't surprise me a bit.

  24. SorosBot

    "But HOW IS THE GOVERNMENT BIGGER, Mr. Lee? We don’t know, because the New York Times typist does not appear to have asked him."

    What, are you asking the New York Times to be a truth vigilante?

    1. bobbert

      Ah, a classic from the dickhead that used his "adios mother" column to point out the Grey Lady's non-existent progressive tilt.

    2. miss_grundy

      Is it me or does Arthur Brisbane of NYT come across as an idiot? Yes, every freaking newspaper that reports the news should be a truth vigilante as well as every freaking news channel. That way Americans would actually learn a thing or two. But no, let's continue on the stupid course…

    3. SavageDrummer

      Holy shit, someone actually wrote that down? Like had to ask the question "Should we, as a NEWSPAPER, accurately report the news, or just write down what people say unquestioningly?"

      No wonder the industry is dead.

      1. SorosBot

        Not just somebody, the public editor who "responds to complaints and comments from the public and monitors the paper's journalistic practices."

        Yeah, no wonder it's dead, and good riddance.

  25. Joshua Norton

    Not to mention how Todd Akin made the unforgivable mistake of telling the TRUTH about the Republican party, revealing that they think rape victims are all a bunch of lying sluts.

  26. Nibbler of Niblonia

    Contrarian delusional antagonistic jingoist reductionist irrational hyper-compulsive and hypo-intelligent people have a hard time agreeing on things? How revelatory!

  27. SayItWithWookies

    Rick Perry's a conservative rather than a teabagger? Maybe he just came across as so stupid and reactionary during the primaries that I thought he was a teabagger — you know, always yelling about how Texas should secede and how we should go back (?) to following the Constitution and waving his damn gun around and the whole having a ranch called Ni~~erhead stuff. But what do I know, maybe that shit is all mainstream by now.

  28. BlueStateLibel

    "…a march to becoming a smaller, older, whiter and more male party." Except they're not becoming smaller, at least horizontally.

  29. Not_So_Much

    Got two things from this:

    #1 — I could work for the NYT even though I don't talk or write good.

    #2 — That is one obese teabilly baby in the picture. Surprised it doesn't have a 64 oz. Brawndo in its meaty little fist. Its outtie has an outtie.

  30. UW8316154

    Replace "factions" with "tribes", and "GOP leaders" with "chieftains" – and yeah, American politics has finally become identical to that of a third-world, sub-Saharan country.

  31. pdiddycornchips

    The Times will write a story exactly like this one in a few weeks when the Dems hold their convention. Must be balanced.

    But this one is just straight up bull shit.

    "More than anything, the party is racked by the challenge to the establishment from Tea Party outsiders, who are demanding a purge of incumbents who play by a set of rules that many of these Republicans reject."

    Outsiders are they? And just how does the "tea party" pay for all those ads and buses and signs and Dinesh D'Souza booklets? Well, a lot of that money comes from very establishment conservatives like Karl Rove and the Koch Brothers. And just who decides what's important to the tea party? That's right, these same establishment players. They know how to get shit from their think tanks to drudge to CNN to MTP and into the political narrative. How did Paul Ryan become a very serious person? How did Ted Cruz become a maverick outsider? How you ask? Just follow the money.

  32. Toomush_Infer

    So, if this doesn't work for them, we can look forward to another notch turn toward the Idiocracy?….

  33. randcoolcatdaddy

    "Many of them said they feared it was hastening a march to becoming a smaller, older, whiter and more male party."

    Of rapists.

Comments are closed.