the furry report

Early Furry & Sex Magazine Sightings in Tampa

Getcher fluffing for a buck right hereYour Wonkette editor Rebecca is currently en route to Tampa, or dragged out to sea in the worst hurricane ever, who knows, but we’ve been getting crucial news reports from Tampa all weekend anyway. “I’ve seen two furries already and I haven’t event left the airport,” Former Wonkette and current Reason Paultard correspondent Garrett Quinn wrote on Saturday, sending along these photos. This is a some sort of Tampa bird, perhaps the devil ray.

Someone went to the convention dressed as Wonkette editor Jim Newell.

Here, via Pareene, is one of the many gay sex magazines one will find in the RNC swag bag.

More on the Republican National Convention later! The events of the day have been canceled.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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    1. Tundra Grifter

      I was wondering the same thing. We watched "Jaws" over the weekend – did the Pirate Parrot swallow some chum?

    2. pdiddycornchips

      That bird appears to be the offspring of an unholy union between a pirate and his parrot. Why such a creature would attend the RNC I'm not sure. Unless it's a metaphor for what we'll all look like if we let the gays marry.

      1. miss_grundy

        I wonder what excuse she gave for not being in Tampa since everyone knows that Rmoney wouldn't let her speak, which is a shame, cause we could use a good laugh right now….

  1. Goonemeritus

    Be careful down there, recent evidence points to a basic lack of understanding by many members of the GOP surrounding issues of rape. Or to translate into Wonkette vernacular –the GOP is kinda’o rapey.

    1. pdiddycornchips

      Does the RNC have free swag suites where 'Becca can pick up a Glock or some kevlar unmentionables? She's probably going to need both before this trip is over.

  2. Terry

    Yes, keeping Tampa Bay beautiful is certainly one of the highest priorities of the delegates to the GOP convention.

  3. sbj1964

    When is Pat Robertson going to say God hates the GOP for nominating a Mormon,and that's why he sent a hurricane to Florida?

    1. DahBoner

      Remember the good ole days when Gulf Coast crackers would have Hurricane parties and sit around drinking Hi-C with lighter fluid?

  4. anniegetyerfun

    What's the deal with GayPop's shoulders? Does he have to carry the weight of Ayn Rand's legacy on them?

    1. FakaktaSouth

      I was wondering about his clenchy-jaw thing. He's very pretty, but he looks like he is having to bite down real hard to quit from projectile vomiting over all the nasty ass Rs that will be spanking it to his image.

  5. ChernobylSoup

    Smart how Wonkette has been secretly preparing to infiltrate this convention for years now, by only hiring white correspondents.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Are Jim and the Wonketters monitoring the M4M roster? Stictly for journalistic reasons, of course.

      Maybe Rebecca ought to handle that one…

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Great excuse for the pirate joke.

      It's Halloween, and a little boy rings the doorbell dressed as a pirate.

      "Where are your Buccaneers?" the lady of the house asks.

      "Under me buckin' hat."

      1. eggsacklywright

        I do not know which to prefer,
        The beauty of inflections
        Or the beauty of innuendoes,
        The blackbird whistling
        Or just after.

        — Wallace Stevens

    1. prommie

      Do they call it "rent boy" because you can rent them, or because they are trying to earn money to pay their rent?

      1. ChillBill

        Since the person most qualified person to answer that question was not invited to the convention this year, I'm gonna answer it for you: All of 'em, Katie.

  6. littlebigdaddy

    Be careful down there! You know, just in case Michele is right and the r-word is contagious.

  7. Mittens Howell, III

    I'm expecting a huge rise in the number of fly-on-the-wall suicides in Tampa this week. Sure, they're just dumb insects, but there are some things that no creature should have to witness.

  8. SorosBot

    So was the convention day one cancelled because of the possible hurricane threat, or was that just an excuse used after the networks refused to cover the first day of the GOP infomercial?

    1. actor212

      I wish I'd been a fly on the wall when the RNC went to the arena to negotiate an extra day.

      "But we have a Bob Seeger concert to set up! Bob SEEGER!"

      1. SorosBot

        As if they weren't going to have that anyway. And the networks will ignore it, because sex scandals only count if they involve a Democratic politician.

    1. actor212

      I've been in Tampa "International" Airport a few times.

      Odd, I don't think I've ever seen the carpet so clean. Usually it has used condoms and crack vials.

        1. punkneverdies

          Condoms are against the Lord's wishes. If you remember, if a woman doesn't want babby, babby will not be formed.

  9. No_Wire_Hangers

    While the scheduled events of the day have been cancelled due to inclement weather, it's good to know that the lumberjack furry is assisting the L. Craig memorial caucus with a toe-tapping delegate reception in Terminal D.

  10. elviouslyqueer

    The prominent jawbone on the GBaypop "young delegate" looks as though it has cradled much more than its fair share of penises.

    1. Wadisay

      How the heck did he get his tongue simultaneously in both cheeks? Maybe it's forked. Or did some kielbasa get in there sideways?

  11. Oblios_Cap

    Someone went to the convention dressed as Wonkette editor Jim Newell.

    Now, that's pretty damned funny!

  12. Sacanagem

    Look closer at Mr. Baypop. Is that….bronzer??

    The hanky is so obviously code. Dark blue = spanking, humiliation & offshore tax havens.

  13. actor212

    That can't be Newell, that grew facial hair.

    I'm thinking that's Paul Bunion, the official RNC mascot for men trapped in the deep woods with only other men for company.

  14. Estproph

    This convention will mark when the Republicans are destroyed. Not by the hurricane, mind you, but by themselves.

  15. Baconzgood

    We have the worlds biggest (?) furry convention here every summer. Downtown is pretty strange that week.

    1. Lot_49

      Shouldn't the self-proclaimed "Lap Dance Capital of the World" have more than 9 nude and 17 exotic dance clubs? Pretty sure Pittsburgh has more than that.

  16. Tundra Grifter

    The Tampa/St. Pete area is well known as the former haunt of the pirate Jose Gaspar (AKA, Gasparilla). Each year there is a Pirate Festival, etc. This is probably where the football team got his name. Although, technically, Capt. Gaspar would have been a pirate and not a buccaneer.

    There is, however, no historical evidence he actually existed. He appears to be a business promotion creation – hardly the first or the last in Florida, of course. William Jennings Brian spent his final days standing on a raft in a small pool in Coral Gables, peddling real estate.

    The mythical Jose Gaspar is a perfect metaphor for today's GNoP.

  17. pinkocommi

    You can't blame Republicans for attending the convention in costumes that hide their face. Because that shit is embarrassing.

  18. pdiddycornchips

    Rebecca, do not be fooled by the Baypop guy. It's a trick. As soon as you get to his hotel room he'll excuse himself and Denny Hastert will fly out of the closet wearing a g-string and a leather hoodie.

  19. Lot_49

    I hope Rebecca is doing everything she can to get there as soon as possible so she doesn't miss even one of today's many exciting RNC events, all of which have been cancelled…including the storm.

    1. PubOption

      They'll never admit that Obama's god is more powerful than theirs. Mittens will be nominated as their candidate, even he has to enter the convention center in a boat.

  20. WhatTheHeck

    I can’t comment on the convention today because I forgot my flag pin and the blow-up parrot for my shoulder.

  21. SorosBot

    Devil Rays is an awesome team name, and just plain Rays sucks ass. Fundy Christians are morans once again.

  22. Ducksworthy

    Cancellation of the RNC will be no problem, and in fact will avoid a lot of problems. They can just proceed to the coronation and skip the voting nonsense. This will prevent the Paultards from mounting a protest for the gold standard to be reinstated and will also prevent Amerikka from being exposed once again to the gibberings of such as Santorum ™ and Gingerich (who will amuse himself torturing furries).

    1. PsycWench

      You could argue that people who plan a convention in Tampa in late August deserve to have it cancelled. Having lived in Florida for two years, I can say that late August is the best time to leave.

  23. Blueb4sinrise

    Is The Oogieloves in The BIG Balloon Adventure the documentary being made about the RNC Convention?

  24. MissTaken

    Poor Rebecca, escapes the earthquake swarm of LA for hurricane swell of FLA. Mother Nature needs to cut our Editrix a break!

    1. kittensdontlie

      A mere coincidence, or is she Mother Nature, planting seeds of destruction as she goes merrily along her way?!—Rush Limburger, weatherologist et. al.

  25. chicken_thief

    Jeez, couldn't they find a shirt to fit rentboy? If a hint of t-shirt is peaking out above your shirt collar and tie, the shirt just might be too big for you.

    Also too, is that "Something about Mary" hair gel?!

  26. comrad_darkness

    That looks like some of that there devil muslin writin' on that there hat! Creeping Sharia!

  27. x111e7thst

    Why is that lovely young man not wearing his SS uniform? He could make so many more delicious US Ameros at the convention.

  28. owhatever

    I'm sitting in my hotel room in Tampa. Rain from Isaac pounding outside. Can't get to a party. Baypop says he's totally booked. Looking at my gun.

  29. DahBoner

    Hopefully, there is a padded room where the TSA can "take care" of these delightful terrarists…

  30. MiniMencken

    That's not a Jim Newell mascot. That's a James Holmes mascot, there to tell folks not to take their fear and and anger out on the poor, little NRA.

Comments are closed.