THE FURRY REPORT  11:20 am August 27, 2012

Early Furry & Sex Magazine Sightings in Tampa

by Jim Newell

Getcher fluffing for a buck right hereYour Wonkette editor Rebecca is currently en route to Tampa, or dragged out to sea in the worst hurricane ever, who knows, but we’ve been getting crucial news reports from Tampa all weekend anyway. “I’ve seen two furries already and I haven’t event left the airport,” Former Wonkette and current Reason Paultard correspondent Garrett Quinn wrote on Saturday, sending along these photos. This is a some sort of Tampa bird, perhaps the devil ray.

Someone went to the convention dressed as Wonkette editor Jim Newell.

Here, via Pareene, is one of the many gay sex magazines one will find in the RNC swag bag.

More on the Republican National Convention later! The events of the day have been canceled.

 
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{ 146 comments }

chidem August 27, 2012 at 11:23 am

BAYPOP is my new favorite magazine.

Geminisunmars August 27, 2012 at 11:31 am

That guy can delegate me any time he wants.

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 11:38 am

Bet he comes frist in many straw polls.

Self-Uploader August 27, 2012 at 11:40 am

First? Fist?

Geminisunmars August 27, 2012 at 11:41 am

I thought Frist got out of politics.

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 11:43 am
joshleefolsom August 27, 2012 at 11:41 am

Spelling error — it's Crist.

MosesInvests August 27, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Crist just endorsed POTUS for re-election.

AddHomonym August 27, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I thought it was BAYBOP.

Jukesgrrl August 28, 2012 at 12:20 am

There is no one who looks like that anywhere in Floridah, outside of JLo's Miami pad.

nounverb911 August 27, 2012 at 11:23 am

Did they find David Vitter in the diaper section yet?

hagajim August 27, 2012 at 11:24 am

Is Bay Pop dude there as a rent boy?

LibertyLover August 27, 2012 at 3:54 pm

No, he's there just to carry the luggage.

ChernobylSoup August 27, 2012 at 11:24 am

What time is the running of the Jews?

nounverb911 August 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

As soon as Eric Cantor gets there.

comrad_darkness August 27, 2012 at 12:09 pm

When they humbly get permission from AIPAC

nounverb911 August 27, 2012 at 11:25 am

Is Baypop boy wearing a tearaway suit?

DerrickWildcat August 27, 2012 at 11:25 am

I have never seen a bird like that. Oh, why do that bird have a fishing hook in his mouth?

Tundra Grifter August 27, 2012 at 11:38 am

I was wondering the same thing. We watched "Jaws" over the weekend – did the Pirate Parrot swallow some chum?

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 11:42 am

MARK FOLEY LIBEL!

pdiddycornchips August 27, 2012 at 11:45 am

That bird appears to be the offspring of an unholy union between a pirate and his parrot. Why such a creature would attend the RNC I'm not sure. Unless it's a metaphor for what we'll all look like if we let the gays marry.

eggsacklywright August 27, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Pelican/pterodactyl smacks of evolution. That's not very Republicanish.

ChernobylSoup August 27, 2012 at 11:26 am

They adjourned early? Okay, who gave Sarah Palin the gavel?

chicken_thief August 27, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Isaac is God's punishment for not letting Lou Sarah host the ceremony.

LibertyLover August 27, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Sarah is shilling campaigning for Jeff Flake in AZ today.

miss_grundy August 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I wonder what excuse she gave for not being in Tampa since everyone knows that Rmoney wouldn't let her speak, which is a shame, cause we could use a good laugh right now….

LibertyLover August 27, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Bus breakdown? ;-)

Goonemeritus August 27, 2012 at 11:26 am

Be careful down there, recent evidence points to a basic lack of understanding by many members of the GOP surrounding issues of rape. Or to translate into Wonkette vernacular –the GOP is kinda’o rapey.

pdiddycornchips August 27, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Does the RNC have free swag suites where 'Becca can pick up a Glock or some kevlar unmentionables? She's probably going to need both before this trip is over.

Terry August 27, 2012 at 11:26 am

Yes, keeping Tampa Bay beautiful is certainly one of the highest priorities of the delegates to the GOP convention.

sbj1964 August 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

When is Pat Robertson going to say God hates the GOP for nominating a Mormon,and that's why he sent a hurricane to Florida?

DahBoner August 27, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Remember the good ole days when Gulf Coast crackers would have Hurricane parties and sit around drinking Hi-C with lighter fluid?

anniegetyerfun August 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

What's the deal with GayPop's shoulders? Does he have to carry the weight of Ayn Rand's legacy on them?

Geminisunmars August 27, 2012 at 11:33 am

Maybe the Rand McNally Atlas.

FakaktaSouth August 27, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I was wondering about his clenchy-jaw thing. He's very pretty, but he looks like he is having to bite down real hard to quit from projectile vomiting over all the nasty ass Rs that will be spanking it to his image.

An_Outhouse August 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

Isn't that the Chik-fil-a mascot along with my crazy old uncle that sends the emails?

ChernobylSoup August 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

Smart how Wonkette has been secretly preparing to infiltrate this convention for years now, by only hiring white correspondents.

punkneverdies August 27, 2012 at 11:29 am

ohoho great burn

pdiddycornchips August 27, 2012 at 12:21 pm

The New White Panthers!!!

Spurning Beer August 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

Anybody know the address of Craig's List?

nounverb911 August 27, 2012 at 11:29 am

Is Larry Craig still in Idaho?

Geminisunmars August 27, 2012 at 11:36 am

I thought he hung out in Minnesota.

chicken_thief August 27, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Home is any stall that he can get a wide stance in.

Tundra Grifter August 27, 2012 at 11:39 am

Are Jim and the Wonketters monitoring the M4M roster? Stictly for journalistic reasons, of course.

Maybe Rebecca ought to handle that one…

ShreditorsDesk August 27, 2012 at 11:27 am

The big bird is the Buccaneers' Parrot !

Tundra Grifter August 27, 2012 at 11:40 am

Great excuse for the pirate joke.

It's Halloween, and a little boy rings the doorbell dressed as a pirate.

"Where are your Buccaneers?" the lady of the house asks.

"Under me buckin' hat."

emmelemm August 27, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I love pirate jokes.

Tundra Grifter August 27, 2012 at 8:06 pm

The only joke I ever read in both "Boy's Life" and "Playboy:"

Buccaneer: Pricy corn.

littlebigdaddy August 27, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Does he have booty? Or is that only the BayPop guy?

BerkeleyBear August 27, 2012 at 12:59 pm

No boy that white has booty. Sorry.

Schmannnity August 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

Top Pic: thank goodness Newt has found work. Middle Pic: Get into my belly!

johnnyzhivago August 27, 2012 at 11:29 am

The official bird of the Republican National Convention is the albatross.

Wadisay August 27, 2012 at 12:23 pm

It certainly wouldn't be the blackbird.

eggsacklywright August 27, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendoes,
The blackbird whistling
Or just after.

– Wallace Stevens

LibertyLover August 27, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I thought it might be an oil-covered seagull from the Gulf.

ChillBill August 27, 2012 at 11:29 am

Isn't BayPop a Rent Boy catalog?

Sacanagem August 27, 2012 at 11:32 am

Typo at the printers, s/b "GayPopp".

ChillBill August 27, 2012 at 11:59 am

Or "GayPoop," since it caters to Republicans.

prommie August 27, 2012 at 11:58 am

Do they call it "rent boy" because you can rent them, or because they are trying to earn money to pay their rent?

ChillBill August 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Since the person most qualified person to answer that question was not invited to the convention this year, I'm gonna answer it for you: All of 'em, Katie.

littlebigdaddy August 27, 2012 at 11:29 am

Be careful down there! You know, just in case Michele is right and the r-word is contagious.

chicken_thief August 27, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Republican?

Mittens Howell, III August 27, 2012 at 11:32 am

I'm expecting a huge rise in the number of fly-on-the-wall suicides in Tampa this week. Sure, they're just dumb insects, but there are some things that no creature should have to witness.

SorosBot August 27, 2012 at 11:32 am

So was the convention day one cancelled because of the possible hurricane threat, or was that just an excuse used after the networks refused to cover the first day of the GOP infomercial?

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 11:48 am

I wish I'd been a fly on the wall when the RNC went to the arena to negotiate an extra day.

"But we have a Bob Seeger concert to set up! Bob SEEGER!"

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 12:27 pm

"Nobody's going to watch this anyways, let's get in a full day of debauchery instead!"

SorosBot August 27, 2012 at 12:30 pm

As if they weren't going to have that anyway. And the networks will ignore it, because sex scandals only count if they involve a Democratic politician.

punkneverdies August 27, 2012 at 11:33 am

You know I always wonder why Airport carpeting looks like really shitty 8 bit textures.

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 11:47 am

I've been in Tampa "International" Airport a few times.

Odd, I don't think I've ever seen the carpet so clean. Usually it has used condoms and crack vials.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Don't worry, it'll have plenty of both after this weekend…

punkneverdies August 27, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Condoms are against the Lord's wishes. If you remember, if a woman doesn't want babby, babby will not be formed.

Tundra Grifter August 27, 2012 at 11:47 am

It's probably 100% polyester and would give you a very nasty rugburn.

Mumbletypeg August 27, 2012 at 11:33 am

Eric Cantor has canceled his appearance, as always is the case when whiny bitches plan in concert to ply him with requests that he behave like an adult for signed photo captures of Rep. Yoder's Dead Sea scrotum.

Serolf_Divad August 27, 2012 at 11:35 am

It's Craigsie, the closeted GOP eagle butt pirate!

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

He lost his eye in an unfortunate bukkake accident.

eggsacklywright August 27, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Many upfists will rain down upon ye.

No_Wire_Hangers August 27, 2012 at 11:35 am

While the scheduled events of the day have been cancelled due to inclement weather, it's good to know that the lumberjack furry is assisting the L. Craig memorial caucus with a toe-tapping delegate reception in Terminal D.

TootsStansbury August 27, 2012 at 11:36 am

Does Bay Pop guy have the mumps?

elviouslyqueer August 27, 2012 at 11:36 am

The prominent jawbone on the GBaypop "young delegate" looks as though it has cradled much more than its fair share of penises.

Wadisay August 27, 2012 at 12:26 pm

How the heck did he get his tongue simultaneously in both cheeks? Maybe it's forked. Or did some kielbasa get in there sideways?

Oblios_Cap August 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

Someone went to the convention dressed as Wonkette editor Jim Newell.

Now, that's pretty damned funny!

littlebigdaddy August 27, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Yeah cuz who would want to look like Newell?

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm

I heard Newell tried to get into the witness protection program for the free reconstructive surgery.

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

Such a square, Swedish jaw on that BayPop guy.

Is that magazine for Hasselhoff fans?

Sacanagem August 27, 2012 at 11:37 am

Look closer at Mr. Baypop. Is that….bronzer??

The hanky is so obviously code. Dark blue = spanking, humiliation & offshore tax havens.

MissTaken August 27, 2012 at 11:39 am

Thank you Wonkette for providing my brain with its nightmare images for tonight.

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 11:40 am

That can't be Newell, that grew facial hair.

I'm thinking that's Paul Bunion, the official RNC mascot for men trapped in the deep woods with only other men for company.

eggsacklywright August 27, 2012 at 12:16 pm

If that's Paul Bunion, something must be afoot.

bobbert August 27, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Pretty corny comment there.

Estproph August 27, 2012 at 11:41 am

This convention will mark when the Republicans are destroyed. Not by the hurricane, mind you, but by themselves.

SayItWithWookies August 27, 2012 at 11:43 am

Does that parrot have bird flu? It would explain the thermometer in his mouth, not to mention why he's missing an eye.

Baconzgood August 27, 2012 at 11:43 am

We have the worlds biggest (?) furry convention here every summer. Downtown is pretty strange that week.

MissTaken August 27, 2012 at 11:44 am

BayPop claims to know what The Young Delegates really want this week: Stripper Poles with women. Sadly, 'Amber Lucas' is a piss poor journalist and doesn't know it's really furries and anonymous butt sechs they really crave.
http://www.baypop.com/article.php?id=85

SorosBot August 27, 2012 at 11:48 am

There will be lots of rent boys hired to lift some luggage.

Lot_49 August 27, 2012 at 11:53 am

Shouldn't the self-proclaimed "Lap Dance Capital of the World" have more than 9 nude and 17 exotic dance clubs? Pretty sure Pittsburgh has more than that.

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I know Toronto does…

Edit: from… second hand… sources… *shifty eyes*

Tundra Grifter August 27, 2012 at 11:46 am

The Tampa/St. Pete area is well known as the former haunt of the pirate Jose Gaspar (AKA, Gasparilla). Each year there is a Pirate Festival, etc. This is probably where the football team got his name. Although, technically, Capt. Gaspar would have been a pirate and not a buccaneer.

There is, however, no historical evidence he actually existed. He appears to be a business promotion creation – hardly the first or the last in Florida, of course. William Jennings Brian spent his final days standing on a raft in a small pool in Coral Gables, peddling real estate.

The mythical Jose Gaspar is a perfect metaphor for today's GNoP.

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 11:53 am

The team was named in a contest, which means a whole lotta people had to say "Hm. Great name"

However, you may recall the original team mascot was given the sobriquet "Buccaneer Bruce," for obvious reasons.

pinkocommi August 27, 2012 at 11:47 am

You can't blame Republicans for attending the convention in costumes that hide their face. Because that shit is embarrassing.

pdiddycornchips August 27, 2012 at 11:49 am

Rebecca, do not be fooled by the Baypop guy. It's a trick. As soon as you get to his hotel room he'll excuse himself and Denny Hastert will fly out of the closet wearing a g-string and a leather hoodie.

weejee August 27, 2012 at 11:49 am

Jim, have you seen the Ann Coulter furry?

chicken_thief August 27, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Needz moar side boob!!!

SavageDrummer August 27, 2012 at 12:41 pm

That's WAY too hot to be Ann Coulter…

Lot_49 August 27, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Google Image search string, pleeze…to make sure I never enter it inadvertently.

Lot_49 August 27, 2012 at 11:50 am

I hope Rebecca is doing everything she can to get there as soon as possible so she doesn't miss even one of today's many exciting RNC events, all of which have been cancelled…including the storm.

MacRaith August 27, 2012 at 11:51 am

You may wind up with a lot of time on your hands. The Boston Globe was speculating this morning that the whole convention might be cancelled.

Hey, we can dream, can't we?

PubOption August 27, 2012 at 3:34 pm

They'll never admit that Obama's god is more powerful than theirs. Mittens will be nominated as their candidate, even he has to enter the convention center in a boat.

WhatTheHeck August 27, 2012 at 11:51 am

I can’t comment on the convention today because I forgot my flag pin and the blow-up parrot for my shoulder.

SorosBot August 27, 2012 at 11:57 am

Devil Rays is an awesome team name, and just plain Rays sucks ass. Fundy Christians are morans once again.

Ducksworthy August 27, 2012 at 11:58 am

Cancellation of the RNC will be no problem, and in fact will avoid a lot of problems. They can just proceed to the coronation and skip the voting nonsense. This will prevent the Paultards from mounting a protest for the gold standard to be reinstated and will also prevent Amerikka from being exposed once again to the gibberings of such as Santorum ™ and Gingerich (who will amuse himself torturing furries).

PsycWench August 27, 2012 at 12:47 pm

You could argue that people who plan a convention in Tampa in late August deserve to have it cancelled. Having lived in Florida for two years, I can say that late August is the best time to leave.

Blueb4sinrise August 27, 2012 at 11:59 am

Is The Oogieloves in The BIG Balloon Adventure the documentary being made about the RNC Convention?

MissTaken August 27, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Poor Rebecca, escapes the earthquake swarm of LA for hurricane swell of FLA. Mother Nature needs to cut our Editrix a break!

kittensdontlie August 27, 2012 at 2:00 pm

A mere coincidence, or is she Mother Nature, planting seeds of destruction as she goes merrily along her way?!—Rush Limburger, weatherologist et. al.

chicken_thief August 27, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Jeez, couldn't they find a shirt to fit rentboy? If a hint of t-shirt is peaking out above your shirt collar and tie, the shirt just might be too big for you.

Also too, is that "Something about Mary" hair gel?!

orygoon August 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm

I'd hit that furry.

Aw, just messing with you. My dog wouldn't take a piss on its leg.

BZ1 August 27, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Big Bird has really been letting himself go.

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Cuts to PBS' budget have forced the CPB to cut his millett allotment, which he's had to supplement with food stamps and McDonald's

comrad_darkness August 27, 2012 at 12:08 pm

That looks like some of that there devil muslin writin' on that there hat! Creeping Sharia!

eggsacklywright August 27, 2012 at 12:14 pm

With a vulture backup in case the albatross gets whacked.

BTWBFDIMHO August 27, 2012 at 12:15 pm

"Your Wonkette editor Rebecca is currently en route to Tampa": https://picasaweb.google.com/11400799981044075510

OneYieldRegular August 27, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Baypop: the TIger Beat of the Log Cabin Club.

dmnolan August 27, 2012 at 12:43 pm

It's Boypap. Putting the log in the cabin, but for the Economy.

iburl August 27, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Geezuz that redheaded murder monster almost had me do a spit-take on my monitor.

dmnolan August 27, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Mitt cares about you people this week in Tampa on Thursday.

x111e7thst August 27, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Why is that lovely young man not wearing his SS uniform? He could make so many more delicious US Ameros at the convention.

owhatever August 27, 2012 at 12:38 pm

I'm sitting in my hotel room in Tampa. Rain from Isaac pounding outside. Can't get to a party. Baypop says he's totally booked. Looking at my gun.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 27, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Wow — Fat Bastard has lost a lot of weight.

DahBoner August 27, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Hopefully, there is a padded room where the TSA can "take care" of these delightful terrarists…

Chow Yun Flat August 27, 2012 at 12:58 pm

The furry with the red beard is the Log Cabin Republican mascot.

Nostrildamus August 27, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Does that bird furry remind anyone else of Ron Paul?

MiniMencken August 27, 2012 at 1:23 pm

That's not a Jim Newell mascot. That's a James Holmes mascot, there to tell folks not to take their fear and and anger out on the poor, little NRA.

GeorgiaBurning August 27, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Worst kids' party clowns EVER

Nowisallthereis August 27, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Why are all the pages stuck together?

DahBoner August 27, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Hell hath no furry…

dmnolan August 27, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Do you know what it smells like inside that head?

Sacanagem August 27, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Armpit sweat, self-hatred and despair?

dmnolan August 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Old chewing gum and spit, also.

iburl August 28, 2012 at 12:18 am

David Vitter's dirty diaper after hanging out in the handicapped stall with Rush Limbaugh's midnight meatloaf?

LibertyLover August 27, 2012 at 4:44 pm

You know, one of those furries is a ginger…..

ttommyunger August 28, 2012 at 7:18 am

Better you than me, Jim and Becca.

LibrarianX August 28, 2012 at 8:53 am

Oh, shit! BAYPOP Boy makes me feel….dirty. I'm not even Republican.

eggsacklywright August 27, 2012 at 12:09 pm

That was Fring.

DahBoner August 27, 2012 at 12:54 pm

You never forget your first Frist…

Geminisunmars August 27, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Not all, obvs

actor212 August 27, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I'd love to see FOX misspell it "Christ (D-FL)" just for shits and giggles.

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