the furry report

Early Furry & Sex Magazine Sightings in Tampa

Getcher fluffing for a buck right hereYour Wonkette editor Rebecca is currently en route to Tampa, or dragged out to sea in the worst hurricane ever, who knows, but we’ve been getting crucial news reports from Tampa all weekend anyway. “I’ve seen two furries already and I haven’t event left the airport,” Former Wonkette and current Reason Paultard correspondent Garrett Quinn wrote on Saturday, sending along these photos. This is a some sort of Tampa bird, perhaps the devil ray.

Someone went to the convention dressed as Wonkette editor Jim Newell.

Here, via Pareene, is one of the many gay sex magazines one will find in the RNC swag bag.

More on the Republican National Convention later! The events of the day have been canceled.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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Comments

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  • chidem

    BAYPOP is my new favorite magazine.

    • Geminisunmars

      That guy can delegate me any time he wants.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Bet he comes frist in many straw polls.

        • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

          First? Fist?

          • Geminisunmars

            I thought Frist got out of politics.

          • eggsacklywright

            That was Fring.

          • DahBoner

            You never forget your first Frist…

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212
          • Geminisunmars

            Not all, obvs

        • joshleefolsom

          Spelling error — it's Crist.

          • MosesInvests

            Crist just endorsed POTUS for re-election.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            I'd love to see FOX misspell it "Christ (D-FL)" just for shits and giggles.

    • AddHomonym

      I thought it was BAYBOP.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      There is no one who looks like that anywhere in Floridah, outside of JLo's Miami pad.

  • nounverb911

    Did they find David Vitter in the diaper section yet?

  • hagajim

    Is Bay Pop dude there as a rent boy?

    • LibertyLover

      No, he's there just to carry the luggage.

  • ChernobylSoup

    What time is the running of the Jews?

    • nounverb911

      As soon as Eric Cantor gets there.

    • comrad_darkness

      When they humbly get permission from AIPAC

  • nounverb911

    Is Baypop boy wearing a tearaway suit?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I have never seen a bird like that. Oh, why do that bird have a fishing hook in his mouth?

    • Tundra Grifter

      I was wondering the same thing. We watched "Jaws" over the weekend – did the Pirate Parrot swallow some chum?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        MARK FOLEY LIBEL!

    • pdiddycornchips

      That bird appears to be the offspring of an unholy union between a pirate and his parrot. Why such a creature would attend the RNC I'm not sure. Unless it's a metaphor for what we'll all look like if we let the gays marry.

      • eggsacklywright

        Pelican/pterodactyl smacks of evolution. That's not very Republicanish.

  • ChernobylSoup

    They adjourned early? Okay, who gave Sarah Palin the gavel?

    • chicken_thief

      Isaac is God's punishment for not letting Lou Sarah host the ceremony.

    • LibertyLover

      Sarah is shilling campaigning for Jeff Flake in AZ today.

      • miss_grundy

        I wonder what excuse she gave for not being in Tampa since everyone knows that Rmoney wouldn't let her speak, which is a shame, cause we could use a good laugh right now….

        • LibertyLover

          Bus breakdown? ;-)

  • Goonemeritus

    Be careful down there, recent evidence points to a basic lack of understanding by many members of the GOP surrounding issues of rape. Or to translate into Wonkette vernacular –the GOP is kinda’o rapey.

    • pdiddycornchips

      Does the RNC have free swag suites where 'Becca can pick up a Glock or some kevlar unmentionables? She's probably going to need both before this trip is over.

  • Terry

    Yes, keeping Tampa Bay beautiful is certainly one of the highest priorities of the delegates to the GOP convention.

  • sbj1964

    When is Pat Robertson going to say God hates the GOP for nominating a Mormon,and that's why he sent a hurricane to Florida?

    • DahBoner

      Remember the good ole days when Gulf Coast crackers would have Hurricane parties and sit around drinking Hi-C with lighter fluid?

  • anniegetyerfun

    What's the deal with GayPop's shoulders? Does he have to carry the weight of Ayn Rand's legacy on them?

    • Geminisunmars

      Maybe the Rand McNally Atlas.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I was wondering about his clenchy-jaw thing. He's very pretty, but he looks like he is having to bite down real hard to quit from projectile vomiting over all the nasty ass Rs that will be spanking it to his image.

  • An_Outhouse

    Isn't that the Chik-fil-a mascot along with my crazy old uncle that sends the emails?

  • ChernobylSoup

    Smart how Wonkette has been secretly preparing to infiltrate this convention for years now, by only hiring white correspondents.

    • punkneverdies

      ohoho great burn

    • pdiddycornchips

      The New White Panthers!!!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Anybody know the address of Craig's List?

    • nounverb911

      Is Larry Craig still in Idaho?

      • Geminisunmars

        I thought he hung out in Minnesota.

        • chicken_thief

          Home is any stall that he can get a wide stance in.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Are Jim and the Wonketters monitoring the M4M roster? Stictly for journalistic reasons, of course.

      Maybe Rebecca ought to handle that one…

  • ShreditorsDesk

    The big bird is the Buccaneers' Parrot !

    • Tundra Grifter

      Great excuse for the pirate joke.

      It's Halloween, and a little boy rings the doorbell dressed as a pirate.

      "Where are your Buccaneers?" the lady of the house asks.

      "Under me buckin' hat."

      • emmelemm

        I love pirate jokes.

        • Tundra Grifter

          The only joke I ever read in both "Boy's Life" and "Playboy:"

          Buccaneer: Pricy corn.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Does he have booty? Or is that only the BayPop guy?

      • BerkeleyBear

        No boy that white has booty. Sorry.

  • Schmannnity

    Top Pic: thank goodness Newt has found work. Middle Pic: Get into my belly!

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    The official bird of the Republican National Convention is the albatross.

    • Wadisay

      It certainly wouldn't be the blackbird.

      • eggsacklywright

        I do not know which to prefer,
        The beauty of inflections
        Or the beauty of innuendoes,
        The blackbird whistling
        Or just after.

        — Wallace Stevens

    • LibertyLover

      I thought it might be an oil-covered seagull from the Gulf.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Isn't BayPop a Rent Boy catalog?

    • Sacanagem

      Typo at the printers, s/b "GayPopp".

      • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

        Or "GayPoop," since it caters to Republicans.

    • prommie

      Do they call it "rent boy" because you can rent them, or because they are trying to earn money to pay their rent?

      • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

        Since the person most qualified person to answer that question was not invited to the convention this year, I'm gonna answer it for you: All of 'em, Katie.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Be careful down there! You know, just in case Michele is right and the r-word is contagious.

    • chicken_thief

      Republican?

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I'm expecting a huge rise in the number of fly-on-the-wall suicides in Tampa this week. Sure, they're just dumb insects, but there are some things that no creature should have to witness.

  • SorosBot

    So was the convention day one cancelled because of the possible hurricane threat, or was that just an excuse used after the networks refused to cover the first day of the GOP infomercial?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I wish I'd been a fly on the wall when the RNC went to the arena to negotiate an extra day.

      "But we have a Bob Seeger concert to set up! Bob SEEGER!"

    • SavageDrummer

      "Nobody's going to watch this anyways, let's get in a full day of debauchery instead!"

      • SorosBot

        As if they weren't going to have that anyway. And the networks will ignore it, because sex scandals only count if they involve a Democratic politician.

  • punkneverdies

    You know I always wonder why Airport carpeting looks like really shitty 8 bit textures.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I've been in Tampa "International" Airport a few times.

      Odd, I don't think I've ever seen the carpet so clean. Usually it has used condoms and crack vials.

      • SavageDrummer

        Don't worry, it'll have plenty of both after this weekend…

        • punkneverdies

          Condoms are against the Lord's wishes. If you remember, if a woman doesn't want babby, babby will not be formed.

    • Tundra Grifter

      It's probably 100% polyester and would give you a very nasty rugburn.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Eric Cantor has canceled his appearance, as always is the case when whiny bitches plan in concert to ply him with requests that he behave like an adult for signed photo captures of Rep. Yoder's Dead Sea scrotum.

  • Serolf_Divad

    It's Craigsie, the closeted GOP eagle butt pirate!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      He lost his eye in an unfortunate bukkake accident.

      • eggsacklywright

        Many upfists will rain down upon ye.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    While the scheduled events of the day have been cancelled due to inclement weather, it's good to know that the lumberjack furry is assisting the L. Craig memorial caucus with a toe-tapping delegate reception in Terminal D.

  • TootsStansbury

    Does Bay Pop guy have the mumps?

  • elviouslyqueer

    The prominent jawbone on the GBaypop "young delegate" looks as though it has cradled much more than its fair share of penises.

    • Wadisay

      How the heck did he get his tongue simultaneously in both cheeks? Maybe it's forked. Or did some kielbasa get in there sideways?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Someone went to the convention dressed as Wonkette editor Jim Newell.

    Now, that's pretty damned funny!

    • littlebigdaddy

      Yeah cuz who would want to look like Newell?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I heard Newell tried to get into the witness protection program for the free reconstructive surgery.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Such a square, Swedish jaw on that BayPop guy.

    Is that magazine for Hasselhoff fans?

  • Sacanagem

    Look closer at Mr. Baypop. Is that….bronzer??

    The hanky is so obviously code. Dark blue = spanking, humiliation & offshore tax havens.

  • MissTaken

    Thank you Wonkette for providing my brain with its nightmare images for tonight.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    That can't be Newell, that grew facial hair.

    I'm thinking that's Paul Bunion, the official RNC mascot for men trapped in the deep woods with only other men for company.

    • eggsacklywright

      If that's Paul Bunion, something must be afoot.

      • bobbert

        Pretty corny comment there.

  • Estproph

    This convention will mark when the Republicans are destroyed. Not by the hurricane, mind you, but by themselves.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Does that parrot have bird flu? It would explain the thermometer in his mouth, not to mention why he's missing an eye.

  • Baconzgood

    We have the worlds biggest (?) furry convention here every summer. Downtown is pretty strange that week.

  • MissTaken

    BayPop claims to know what The Young Delegates really want this week: Stripper Poles with women. Sadly, 'Amber Lucas' is a piss poor journalist and doesn't know it's really furries and anonymous butt sechs they really crave.
    http://www.baypop.com/article.php?id=85

    • SorosBot

      There will be lots of rent boys hired to lift some luggage.

    • Lot_49

      Shouldn't the self-proclaimed "Lap Dance Capital of the World" have more than 9 nude and 17 exotic dance clubs? Pretty sure Pittsburgh has more than that.

      • SavageDrummer

        I know Toronto does…

        Edit: from… second hand… sources… *shifty eyes*

  • Tundra Grifter

    The Tampa/St. Pete area is well known as the former haunt of the pirate Jose Gaspar (AKA, Gasparilla). Each year there is a Pirate Festival, etc. This is probably where the football team got his name. Although, technically, Capt. Gaspar would have been a pirate and not a buccaneer.

    There is, however, no historical evidence he actually existed. He appears to be a business promotion creation – hardly the first or the last in Florida, of course. William Jennings Brian spent his final days standing on a raft in a small pool in Coral Gables, peddling real estate.

    The mythical Jose Gaspar is a perfect metaphor for today's GNoP.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      The team was named in a contest, which means a whole lotta people had to say "Hm. Great name"

      However, you may recall the original team mascot was given the sobriquet "Buccaneer Bruce," for obvious reasons.

  • pinkocommi

    You can't blame Republicans for attending the convention in costumes that hide their face. Because that shit is embarrassing.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Rebecca, do not be fooled by the Baypop guy. It's a trick. As soon as you get to his hotel room he'll excuse himself and Denny Hastert will fly out of the closet wearing a g-string and a leather hoodie.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Jim, have you seen the Ann Coulter furry?

    • chicken_thief

      Needz moar side boob!!!

    • SavageDrummer

      That's WAY too hot to be Ann Coulter…

    • Lot_49

      Google Image search string, pleeze…to make sure I never enter it inadvertently.

  • Lot_49

    I hope Rebecca is doing everything she can to get there as soon as possible so she doesn't miss even one of today's many exciting RNC events, all of which have been cancelled…including the storm.

  • MacRaith

    You may wind up with a lot of time on your hands. The Boston Globe was speculating this morning that the whole convention might be cancelled.

    Hey, we can dream, can't we?

    • PubOption

      They'll never admit that Obama's god is more powerful than theirs. Mittens will be nominated as their candidate, even he has to enter the convention center in a boat.

  • WhatTheHeck

    I can’t comment on the convention today because I forgot my flag pin and the blow-up parrot for my shoulder.

  • SorosBot

    Devil Rays is an awesome team name, and just plain Rays sucks ass. Fundy Christians are morans once again.

  • Ducksworthy

    Cancellation of the RNC will be no problem, and in fact will avoid a lot of problems. They can just proceed to the coronation and skip the voting nonsense. This will prevent the Paultards from mounting a protest for the gold standard to be reinstated and will also prevent Amerikka from being exposed once again to the gibberings of such as Santorum ™ and Gingerich (who will amuse himself torturing furries).

    • PsycWench

      You could argue that people who plan a convention in Tampa in late August deserve to have it cancelled. Having lived in Florida for two years, I can say that late August is the best time to leave.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Is The Oogieloves in The BIG Balloon Adventure the documentary being made about the RNC Convention?

  • MissTaken

    Poor Rebecca, escapes the earthquake swarm of LA for hurricane swell of FLA. Mother Nature needs to cut our Editrix a break!

    • kittensdontlie

      A mere coincidence, or is she Mother Nature, planting seeds of destruction as she goes merrily along her way?!—Rush Limburger, weatherologist et. al.

  • chicken_thief

    Jeez, couldn't they find a shirt to fit rentboy? If a hint of t-shirt is peaking out above your shirt collar and tie, the shirt just might be too big for you.

    Also too, is that "Something about Mary" hair gel?!

  • orygoon

    I'd hit that furry.

    Aw, just messing with you. My dog wouldn't take a piss on its leg.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Big Bird has really been letting himself go.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Cuts to PBS' budget have forced the CPB to cut his millett allotment, which he's had to supplement with food stamps and McDonald's

  • comrad_darkness

    That looks like some of that there devil muslin writin' on that there hat! Creeping Sharia!

  • eggsacklywright

    With a vulture backup in case the albatross gets whacked.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    "Your Wonkette editor Rebecca is currently en route to Tampa": https://picasaweb.google.com/11400799981044075510

  • OneYieldRegular

    Baypop: the TIger Beat of the Log Cabin Club.

    • dmnolan

      It's Boypap. Putting the log in the cabin, but for the Economy.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Geezuz that redheaded murder monster almost had me do a spit-take on my monitor.

  • dmnolan

    Mitt cares about you people this week in Tampa on Thursday.

  • x111e7thst

    Why is that lovely young man not wearing his SS uniform? He could make so many more delicious US Ameros at the convention.

  • owhatever

    I'm sitting in my hotel room in Tampa. Rain from Isaac pounding outside. Can't get to a party. Baypop says he's totally booked. Looking at my gun.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Wow — Fat Bastard has lost a lot of weight.

  • DahBoner

    Hopefully, there is a padded room where the TSA can "take care" of these delightful terrarists…

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    The furry with the red beard is the Log Cabin Republican mascot.

  • Nostrildamus

    Does that bird furry remind anyone else of Ron Paul?

  • MiniMencken

    That's not a Jim Newell mascot. That's a James Holmes mascot, there to tell folks not to take their fear and and anger out on the poor, little NRA.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Worst kids' party clowns EVER

  • Nowisallthereis

    Why are all the pages stuck together?

  • DahBoner

    Hell hath no furry…

  • dmnolan

    Do you know what it smells like inside that head?

    • Sacanagem

      Armpit sweat, self-hatred and despair?

      • dmnolan

        Old chewing gum and spit, also.

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      David Vitter's dirty diaper after hanging out in the handicapped stall with Rush Limbaugh's midnight meatloaf?

  • LibertyLover

    You know, one of those furries is a ginger…..

  • ttommyunger

    Better you than me, Jim and Becca.

  • LibrarianX

    Oh, shit! BAYPOP Boy makes me feel….dirty. I'm not even Republican.