WHAT'S A MATTER CAN'T TAKE A JOKE?  1:37 pm August 24, 2012

Romney: Har Har, Look At That Kenyan!

by Rebecca Schoenkopf


Oh we get it. Mitt Romney’s a dick!

See, it’s funny because people are racist!

If you care, Romney’s people like immediately walked it back, with a very compelling “he didn’t say that.”

[ThinkProgress/NYT]

 
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{ 208 comments }

ChernobylSoup August 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm

All the black person in Romney's audience walked out in protest.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 1:49 pm

And took his/her little DOG with them too.

Antispandex August 24, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Well, thank god Barry isn't a woman too, because we know how the Teapublicans have been treating THEM lately.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:12 pm

There's always Michelle, sweetie.

iburl August 24, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Who invited Cain anyway?

veritass August 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm

"No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate."

BECAUSE YOU'RE WHITE.

Dr_Zoidberg August 24, 2012 at 1:43 pm

THIS.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Plus all Romney has is a patent registration number.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Oh, you think he didn't KNOW that when he made teh very leetle joke.

WABishop August 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Anyone, meeting Mitt Romney for the first time:
" 'Mitt'? Is that short for 'Mitchell'? " Mitt explains.

Then, if both are white:
"Named after a football player? That's great!"

If Mitt were black, however:
"That's not an American name, now, is it?"

Biel_ze_Bubba August 25, 2012 at 2:56 am

"Named after a football player? That's great!"

I thought it was Newt who got that.

GunToting[Redacted] August 24, 2012 at 2:39 pm

SHOW US YOUR SERIAL NUMBER!

BoroPrimorac August 24, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Motherfucker has a VIN number, yo!

Theywontlisten August 25, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Because you weren't born you were manufatured,…fucker

Barb_ August 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm

No one's asked to see Mitt Romney's birth certificate. Also, no one asked to see Mitt Romney in general.

Tweeted by:Indecision ‏

hominidx August 24, 2012 at 1:39 pm

hahahahahahahahahahaa you're a horrible person

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Well, on the PLUS side, at least YOU can still laugh.

docterry6973 August 24, 2012 at 1:41 pm

On the other hand, no one has asked to see Obama's tax returns.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Disirregardless, as they say at some of our finer institutions of Higher Leerning, he handed over a dozen years' worth.

Exhausted66 August 24, 2012 at 1:41 pm

A majority of the country's going to ask you to not be president, though.
Douche.

chicken_thief August 24, 2012 at 1:44 pm

We can only hope. However, there appears to be an unlimited supply of PAC money at his disposal.

Exhausted66 August 24, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Oh, I didn't say he wouldn't be elected.

Gratuitous World August 24, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Remember when Obama said, "Nobody has ever asked if I married multiple women and officially disputed the equality of black people until 1978."

Ducksworthy August 24, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Unfortunately no, not yet. Maybe there's still time. Also, profited from the fetus disposal business would be good.

Chichikovovich August 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm

That's a very good point. I don't remember ever hearing of anyone asking Obama if he traveled to a foreign country that was at that very moment confronting a crisis, including a coup d'etat, brought on by the struggles of its African colonies for freedom, and preached for several years the doctrine that Africans are marked by God as inferior and that interracial marriage is a sin.

Edit: Nor do I remember Obama being asked if he had ever remained on a church mission significantly longer than his own church required, while coincidentally that mission work allowed him to dodge the Vietnam War.

BerkeleyBear August 24, 2012 at 3:15 pm

A war that he was on record as supporting as a douchey little freshman at Stanford, before he transferred to whitey U where he led the booster club for white's only sports teams.

Dr_Zoidberg August 24, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I can only paraphrase Ann Richards – 'Poor Mittens, he can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.'.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Actually, after the last upgrade, Mitt's feet are now made out of titanium.

Generation[redacted] August 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Careful. That zinger didn't win the governorship.

freakishlywrong August 24, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Isn't Hatelaff's daddy a Messican?

miss_grundy August 24, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Yes, he was born in a Mormon community in Mexico and actually ran for president. I guess at the time no one bothered to ask him for his birth certificate a million times.

elviouslyqueer August 24, 2012 at 1:44 pm

This. Fucking. Douchebag.

That is all.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Well, there's a LOT more, but in the interests of not, you know, cascading rivulets of blood out of one's torn stump of a neck after the old head explodes around the fourth page …

You get my drift.

Mittens Howell, III August 24, 2012 at 4:41 pm

That is enough.

Maman August 24, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Michigan: Where the trees are the right height and the whites are privileged!

johnnymeatworth August 24, 2012 at 1:45 pm

"Birth certificate?" Isn't it called a "Warranty" in his case?

Ducksworthy August 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Where's his patent registration number?

zippy_w_pinhead August 24, 2012 at 1:57 pm

an EULA

SavageDrummer August 24, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I'm afraid that violating Mittbot is a violation of his EULA…

MOG2410 August 24, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Where did Asimov stand on this?

Jus_Wonderin August 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Certificate of Manufacture. Usually these are riveted on. If his is not, I will gladly volunteer to do it.

johnnymeatworth August 24, 2012 at 2:11 pm

His IMEI number should be tattooed on the back of his neck.

widestanceromance August 24, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Is this where we see his inception date and, ideally, his expiration date?

Jus_Wonderin August 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm

We should check for service notices or recalls.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I b'leev the certificate (6×6) goes on about four inches below the waistband of his Mom Jeans.

Self-Uploader August 24, 2012 at 1:45 pm

My hearing is actually improving with age. Suddenly, I can even hear dog whistles.

Incitefully_Joe August 24, 2012 at 1:45 pm

WAIT GUYS I JUST GOT IT. It's a funny joke, because Mitt Romney is held to a lower standard of scrutiny when running for office than Barack Obama is, because of his race!

Ducksworthy August 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Well yeah? He's obviously not a Kenyan, he may however be from Kolob.

Incitefully_Joe August 24, 2012 at 2:12 pm

The punchline is that all Republicans are racist shitholes, or at very best, enablers.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm

(Hugs you whether or not you want it)

Ducksworthy August 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

You know who else was born in Michigan?

docteur_giraud August 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Edsel Ford?

Generation[redacted] August 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Hitler!

Sorry, what was the question?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 24, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Hitler's best bud, Henry Ford?

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

C'mere. We gotta talk.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 24, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Me?

Wadisay August 24, 2012 at 3:07 pm

If I have to hear you go on one more time about how appropriate the tree height is, so help me, I'll scream.

An_Outhouse August 24, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Fred "Sonic" Smith?

SoBeach August 24, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Ted Nugent?

Incitefully_Joe August 24, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Secret Muslim Keith Ellison?

Weirdly enough, people do ask him for his birth certificate. Weird.

PuckStopsHere August 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Me?

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Hitler?

Why not, it looks like a hella lotta OTHER racists are.

RadioBowels August 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Marshal Mathers?

SorosBot August 24, 2012 at 2:20 pm

You mean the Enema Man?

emmelemm August 24, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Eminem libel!

tejanojim August 25, 2012 at 2:20 am

Snoopy snoopy poop dog?

LibertyLover August 24, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I was actually born in Michigan.

miss_grundy August 24, 2012 at 2:46 pm

My sympathies… where can I send the flowers????

shelwood46 August 24, 2012 at 3:37 pm

The Michigan Militia?

viennawoods13 August 24, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Michael Moore?

FajitaFriday August 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

What's you talkin' 'bout, Williard?

UnholyMoses August 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Maybe not, Mittens, but millions of us would like you see you go the fuck away.

dmnolan August 24, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Even the people who like him don't like him.

Dr_Zoidberg August 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

He just doesn't get it, does he? The concept of human interaction is just beyond Mittens.

bumfug August 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

What Mitt Romney will never get is that Americans love nothing more than to see rich, pompous assholes slip on dogshit and fall into a manhole. He will keep this shit up until November when he finds out exactly how much he's despised.

Misty Malarky August 24, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Yep. Chaplin, Keaton, Lloyd, and most comedians of the silent screen understood the love of Americans to see fat cat blowhards make fools of themselves, preferably if it involved a banana peel.

miss_grundy August 24, 2012 at 2:48 pm

But I want him to slip on the dogshit and fall into a bigger pile of dogshit, or fall through the manhole straight into the sewer line. And if a gigantic pane of glass could fall on him and cut him into pieces, that would be nice too.

Oblios_Cap August 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Aides to Mr. Romney, whose father, George Romney, was the state’s governor, scrambled to walk back his comments, saying he was simply sharing his Michigan pride.

Ah, Michigan. Where the trees are all the right height.

The Boston Butt speaks.

Generation[redacted] August 24, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Aides to Mr. Romney, whose father, George Romney, was the state’s governor, scrambled to walk back his comments, saying he was simply sharing his Michigan white pride.

Fixed.

calliecallie August 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Obama campaign sez “…But Governor Romney’s decision to directly enlist himself in the birther movement should give pause to any rational voter across America.”

There is SO much about Rmoney and the Republicans that should give pause to any rational voter across America.

freakishlywrong August 24, 2012 at 1:55 pm

It's the "rational" and "voter" part there that scares me shitless.

MOG2410 August 24, 2012 at 4:16 pm

And to think I used to be a rational voter.

HogeyeGrex August 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm

And does give pause to all the rational voters across America.

The problem is how many irrational voters there are.

prommie August 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Said Romney's spokesman afterwards: "who are you going to believe, me, or your lying eyes and ears?

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Hey! Did you try the recipe?

prommie August 24, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I been distracted since then by a concatenation of unikely events. Truly I will one day soon, sir.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 5:24 pm

No probs, dude. Just checkin' on ya. (Hugs Prommie)

PeaceWithHonor August 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Dick. Asshole. Fuckwad. Douche. Dickweed. Asswipe. Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Asshat. Republican.

freakishlywrong August 24, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Twatwaffling twunt.

Exhausted66 August 24, 2012 at 2:03 pm

You're in the business card industry, aren't you?

bibliotequetress August 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm

"Dick. Asshole. Fuckwad. Douche. Dickweed. Asswipe. Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Asshat. Republican. But I repeat myself." –Mark Twain, if he were alive today

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:22 pm

My list's at 40 pages. Yours?

BoatOfVelociraptors August 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm

All of them, Katie.

midnighttoker69 August 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

He really is a dick, isn't he?

belmontreport August 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Man, I love how proud they all are at publicly laughing at a racist joke. Except the one lady that looked around to make sure everyone else was laughing, too. Deep down, I believe that lady knows that she is a racist and that is wrong.

Not really. They're all racist assholes.

miss_grundy August 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm

These people have no shame. They have no morals. They are useless.

Mumbletypeg August 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm

This was enough for Paul Ryan — subject of recent headlines for letting a woman of color maybe date him — to temporarily shelve the Galt and just go hide in the Gulch.

Baconzgood August 24, 2012 at 1:49 pm

What is this country comming to….

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I'm beyond flabbergasted at this point. Hell, I'm pretty much beyond *any*thing.

anniegetyerfun August 24, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I've asked to see his birth certificate a number of times, but the cops keep telling me to stop following the Romney bus. Also, to wear pants.

Fascists.

Jus_Wonderin August 24, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I do the same thing topless. Maybe we should team up?

anniegetyerfun August 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm

We're already a winning combo, I can tell!

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Or, you could just, you know, share the clothing and do alternate days.

Jus_Wonderin August 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Shhhhhhh. Don't take the fun out of this.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 24, 2012 at 2:56 pm

When exposed genetalia
really start to ail ya
Use a pants cannon
If from their shirt down to their toes
They're totally exposed
Use a pants cannon
It may be harsh that's true
But you're spoiling my view
With a range of fifty feet
It'll Cover up bad meat
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!

Refrain
It may be charged with air
Or even TNT
But it's making the world better
For folks like you and me
It's a slacks delivery gun
Putting pantsless on the run
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!

When you're seeing a free willy
From someone just dressed silly
Use a pants cannon
If he's dressed like Donald Duck
But doesn't give a fuck
Use a pants cannon
When cover up's the goal
Then call the pants patrol
They'll get there really fast
To cover the bare-assed
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!

Refrain

When a shirted guy is loose
And you don't want sofas juiced
Use a pants cannon
If you're looking at a penis
Or somebody's mons venus
Use a pants cannon
If you cover up your tits
Cover other naughty bits
Please don't be a jerk
That fashion look don't work
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!

Refrain

(Probably in G. Toying around with the arrangement. Viva Pants!)

Dumbedup August 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Consider for a moment: President Willard Romney. Every fucking day for four years. Let that sink in. Send money to Obama now.

Hammiepants August 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Motherfucking pandering simulacrum of a human being.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Can't talk to Romney about abortion.

Can't talk to him about Bain.

Can't talk to him about horses or dogs.

Can't talk to him about being Governor of Massachusetts,

Can't talk to him about Romneycare.

Can't talk to him about being a Mormon.

Can't talk to him about his former position on gay rights.

But you can talk about his birth certificate all you want.

Chet Kincaid_ August 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Sounds like a John Lennon lyric. I can just hear the reverb-drenched, spare, piano arrangement.

Tundra Grifter August 24, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Just needs more "Imagine…"

Chet Kincaid_ August 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm

No, not that one, this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yUSGvm4BXA

Gratuitous World August 24, 2012 at 2:24 pm

also,
can't talk
- tax returns
- details of economic plan (beyond tax cuts for rich)
- Akin/rape
- outsourcing

can talk
- slacks

viennawoods13 August 24, 2012 at 5:09 pm

And can talk about motherfucking boats.

LibertyLover August 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Taxes. Can we talk about his taxes?

Sharkey August 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm

No. We can talk about our taxes.

Tundra Grifter August 24, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Paul RAyn won't answer questions about trying, along with Todd Akin, to change the Medicare abortion exception for "forcible" rape.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 25, 2012 at 3:01 am

You mean "legitimate rape".

Tundra Grifter August 25, 2012 at 7:54 pm
BigSkullF*ckingDog August 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Romney doesn't have a birth certificate. He has a serial number.

GeorgiaBurning August 24, 2012 at 2:00 pm

and Grover Norquist logs in as the superuser

PuckStopsHere August 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

And a warranty.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

He's guaranteed to be a superdouche for 5 years or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Romney is the fucking hind leg of the capitalist running dog here. AAAARRRRGGGHH. I was just trying to keep from exploding while reading this story over on TPM, and now this. Excuse me while I pop an artery.

RadioBowels August 24, 2012 at 2:06 pm

He's more like the anal gland of the capitalist running dog.
Remember, first aid first, apply pressure to the wound.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Puts a whole new slant on "express yourself," as in "Let Mitt Romney be Mitt Romney," don't it?

UnholyMoses August 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Mitt Romney: "Did you notice that the President's a nig–**DING!!"**

Crowd: "What he'd say?"

Romney Adviser: "The President is 'near.'"

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm

CLANG!

SorosBot August 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

He actually makes me miss John McCain, who at least repudiated the racist elements among his supporters where Romney is embracing them. Of course McCain's running mate embraced them too.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 24, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Me too. McCain doesn't bring the hate out of me like the Mitt-Wit. I just can't tolerate the crowd that McCain hangs out with.

MissTaken August 24, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Sarah refudiates you.

SorosBot August 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Luckily she also refudiated the plane crasher's chances of winning the election.

miss_grundy August 24, 2012 at 2:57 pm

But McCain chose to "educate" the stupid white bitch who said the President was a Muslim too late in the game. After all he had Sarah Barracuda out getting the white trailer trash all riled up. So, as far as I'm concerned, no points for him. I only hope that the President call pull this out and win, despite all the hater PAC money that's being thrown against him. Scalia's head would probably explode. (Good riddance to bad rubbish!)

iamrrm August 25, 2012 at 7:52 am

He's a……uh……he's an Arab.

Mumbletypeg August 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Mr. Obama… has long faced “birther” rumors from those who falsely question whether he was actually born in the United States.

"Falsely" question, my ass. Deliberately question, with intent to smear, is more like it.
The only thing falsified in the whole birther charade is the platform of imitation-grade righteousness from which these asshats make such assertions.

ETA: fuckin' adjectives. How do they work.

OneYieldRegular August 24, 2012 at 2:04 pm

It has been abundantly clear for a long time that Team Romney will deliberately exploit the patently racist "otherness" aspect with which they hope to tag Obama. I don't care where Romney was born, but he should take his sordid millions and get the fuck out of this country for stooping to this.

miss_grundy August 24, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I don't think they want him in England…

MosesInvests August 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Adverbs, also, too.

slowhansolo August 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

So, to the NYT, Willard was being "playful" and the crowd merely "chuckled."

Got it.

Ducksworthy August 24, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Reminds me of the chuckling crowds that can be seen in old photos like this: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BJxhK2CjrIM/SEFpz9kct_I

sharethegrief August 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Might as well get honest here. Akin was. This isn't fringe anymore.
I hate Romney for his emptiness.. He's now bending all the way over and he doesn't even feel it.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I bet Mitt is really fun at parties with his lamp shade on head, pretending someone is grabbing his butt and the ever popular firing the help.

Angry_Marmot August 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm

"No one ever asked if my lampshade was made from human skin."

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 3:35 pm

They *know* better. They're fairly sure it is.

Fox n Fiends August 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Just show us your taxes you draft-dodging traitor.

WABishop August 24, 2012 at 2:29 pm

That's going to be my new email signature.

Joshua Norton August 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Just a dog whistle way to attack Obama without using the word "uppity".

La_Cieca August 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm

“Ann was born in Henry Ford Hospital. I was born in Harper Hospital. No one’s ever mistaken either of us for a kike or a beaner. They know that this is the place that we were born and raised,”

Ruhe August 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Mitt! Quit trying this angle! You can talk all you want about where you and Anne were born and you're just like all of us but really you're not like all of us! Because, Mitt, we don't poop candy!

docterry6973 August 24, 2012 at 1:55 pm

So Romney's spokespeople immediately assure us that he never said what he just said on tape. Who has the better sense of humor, Romney or his spokesmen?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 25, 2012 at 3:04 am

I'm happy to see that "Baghdad Bob" found useful employment in Amercia.

Poindexter718 August 24, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Born and raised in Michigan yet soon to be summarily rejected by its voters.
That must hurt.

miss_grundy August 24, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Oh, you would be surprised at the number of asshats who would vote for this douchebag in Michigan. Michigan has always been Republican, even though the Republicans have never done anything to help the blue-collar class in this state. Believe me, when I tell you, stupidity REIGNS here!

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Not *enough,* apparently.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 25, 2012 at 3:05 am

Can't wait to see his numbers in Massachusetts, where they really know the schmuck.

Chet Kincaid_ August 24, 2012 at 1:57 pm

So is Mitt finally making peace with his Inner Asshole? It has been a long struggle to suppress the overt expressions of his Core Jerkitude since high school, but I guess he's willing to let it all hang out, now. Anything's better than that dumb, uncomfortable grin, I guess.

C_R_Trogloraptor August 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm

" Inner Asshole?" There is no Inner Asshole.

It's Assholes all the way down.

dmnolan August 24, 2012 at 4:52 pm

That's always been the problem, hasn't it? Because it's the hole, and it's not really there.

BlueStateLibel August 24, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Huh, Mitt was just complaining a few weeks ago that Hopey was being mean to him and playing dirty. Remember this: "President Obama’s campaign and his surrogates have made wild and reckless accusations that disgrace the office of the Presidency. .. This is what an angry and desperate Presidency looks like."

Mitt Romney is angry and desperate.

thurufally August 24, 2012 at 1:59 pm

It'll be so much FUN being a minority under a Romney presidency I almost wish I was one.

An_Outhouse August 24, 2012 at 2:01 pm

The penguins in the audience make me even more of a self hating Catholic.

Weenus299 August 24, 2012 at 2:02 pm

He may have been smart enough to bloat companies with debt and sell them off or whatever, but as a campaigner he is a complete idiot.

C_R_Trogloraptor August 24, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Oh shut up, you insufferable sociopathic patrician blowhard, you.

Wait. On second thought, keep talking. Thanks!

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:11 pm

It's hard to decide, huh? The more he talks the higher my blood pressure rises. OTOH, the more he talks the more feet he needs extracted from his asshole, I mean, mouth.

C_R_Trogloraptor August 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I have had to seriously limit my exposure to political current events news sources lately. I'll never make it to November – sane or otherwise.Let alone afterwards.

MittBorg August 24, 2012 at 2:49 pm

(Hugs the CRE) I've decided I should finish reading all my back issues of Science News. Also, too, finally taking pitchers wiv my new camera. Much more fun than listening to shit fall out of Republicans.

C_R_Trogloraptor August 24, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Thanks! As your Internet Invertebrate I advise you to visit Wonkville daily, to read all the interesting/hilarious/disturbing Science linkys I obsessively post there.

sullivanst August 24, 2012 at 2:04 pm

No, we haven't been asking for your birth certificate, just your TAX RETURNS.

Whereas Obama went to extraordinary lengths to publish his birth certificate, you have gone to extraordinary lengths to try to justify your decision not to reveal your returns. Asshole.

Callyson August 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I wouldn't be surprised if Mittens releases a couple of years' worth of tax returns the weekend before the election, in time for the yabbering idiots in the media to talk about his doing so but too late for serious journalists to look at them and see what tricks he was able to pull with his money.

Asshole.

sullivanst August 24, 2012 at 2:40 pm

It does seem that Romney's campaign strategy is based on the assumption that he can do and say whatever the hell he wants and the press will never call him out on it, and that this assumption so far has proven largely accurate.

Antispandex August 24, 2012 at 2:05 pm

There was once a time, here in the place where Mitt was born and raised, when he would have just called him Barry a nigger. Now, black people are even allowed into Mitts church, sort of. That's the kind of progress that makes this the forth or fifth best industrialized country in the world!

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Forth or fifth? Optimist.

Tundra Grifter August 24, 2012 at 3:06 pm

If I remember "The Autobiography of Malcolm X" correctly (and it has been quite some time since I read it), he thought Ovid, Michigan, was one of the most racist places in the United States.

Mumbletypeg August 24, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Romney’s people like immediately walked it back

To be fair: these handlers only took the job originally because they were told it was a programmed robot, and nothing is supposed to go wrong with template-based, mechanically driven, test-piloted American manufactured, preprogrammed tools for success.

not that Dewey August 24, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Plus, he's super-boring, chick.

Mumbletypeg August 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

But he probably will blame that on being… powered out.

RadioBowels August 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I heard this on the way into work on Russ, and he was like "yeah, right on, right on."
I. Am. Trying. Not. To. Explode.

Guppy August 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm

He didn't say that, somebody else did!

widestanceromance August 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Hey, Willard, suck macaca and like it.

HarryButtle August 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Oh fer fuck's sake. The worst part is the walk-back afterwards. Just own it, Mitt. Your knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing constituency will love you all that much more.

HogeyeGrex August 24, 2012 at 2:18 pm

What a smirking, pompous fucknugget.

Yes, Mitt. You've made great advances since your earlier visit to Michigan. It looks like you can finally fill a venue with your adoring fans. All you have to do is be as awful a wretch as they are.

Chet Kincaid_ August 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

This is only the beginning! The convention is right around the corner, and when they get that speaker/audience feedback loop of hate going, Talking Points Memo won't even be able to keep up with all the racist gaffes!

gullywompr August 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm

You just know Bamz is going to vaporize him on this with another haymaker joke. Willard need to keep his day job (unemployed millionaire), and stop bringing a knife to a gun fight.

ElPinche August 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm

It was due time that Romney went full reetard.

thurufally August 24, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Apparently the Romney camp thinks the "stupid white bigot" vote is still up for grabs.

Limeylizzie August 24, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Wasn't it yesterday that his campaign was crying about some comments on a blog about Mormonism? What a fucking, self-absorbed, shallow, lip-smacking, tax-evading cunt he is and Mrs.Cunt as well.

BornInATrailer August 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm

"Michigan is where I was first booted up."

Misty Malarky August 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Oh, great. __Now we get days and days of Fox and Friends spitting outrage about all the mean and hypocritical liberals being mean and hypocrytical at Mitt 'cause everybody knows he was just funnin' and besides Al Franken once cracked a Caspar Weinberger joke back in 1986.

ttommyunger August 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm

I love the smell of desperation in the morning; it smells like……Defeat.

DahBoner August 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Romney lied about his taxes before and got away with it:
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/08/18/maddow-romn

Will he get away with it again???

deanbooth August 24, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Headline at ABC news: Did Romney Make a Birther Joke?

Question: Will ABC ever just state the facts?

GunToting[Redacted] August 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Shorter ABC article:

"Yes."

smitallica August 24, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Yes, Mitt, as a rich white person, it's so hard to get the benefit of the doubt in America.

Birther Headlines August 24, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I am a member of a forum that tracks every move of the birthers, from ballot challenges to Orly Taintz.

I'm not trying to spam, but I also have an aggregation website that is a perfect tracker of all birther and birther-leaning politician's activities. It contains feeds to every single anti-Obama birther blog and a lot of cool pics of Orly Taitz meeting with Reince Priebus, T-Paw, Newty, Rick Perry and plenty other GOP politicos. I put reports on ballot challenges against President Obama usually before anyone else as I have friends in most states who attend these hearings and many of them are actual lawyers, lol.

Depending on your perspective and level of wake-n-bake, my aggregator can be quite hilarious.

Please come visit at: http://birtherheadlines.com

johnnyzhivago August 24, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Mitt doesn't even have a birth certificate, he came with a warranty registration card.

deanbooth August 24, 2012 at 2:55 pm

If Romney's dad were alive, he would ask to see it.

mosjef August 24, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Romney's birf certificate clearly states that his father was George Romney and his mother was a standard poodle.

VeraSevera August 24, 2012 at 3:40 pm

This from a man whose great-grandaddy had 6 wives in Mexico. Which one was *really* his mother? Let's see him prove it!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 25, 2012 at 3:17 am

Not to be a party pooper, but Obama's grandfather was pretty much in the same league, wife-wise. Perfectly OK in Kenya, of course, but that makes it hard to get traction with the polygamy routine.

VeraSevera August 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

P.S. What's up with the dude in the nun's habit behind the stage?

FlownOver August 24, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I think the appropriate reaction is now qualified for an acronym: OFFS.

carlgt1 August 24, 2012 at 3:55 pm

birth certificate "joke" == red meat for white trash with blue balls….

mr bojangles August 24, 2012 at 4:05 pm

'hey i'm just so proud of my white heritage' mitt har harred!

Mittens Howell, III August 24, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Now we know what the trees are the right height for.

dmnolan August 24, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Should read: "Romney Births Cracker Joke."

Baba_NinjaCat12 August 24, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Har, Har, Har, knee-slapping laugh.

RWRyley August 24, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I really lose faith in the system when I see or hear guys like Romney playing with the whack-job far right wing of the Republican party. Seems like he not only put the family dog on the top of his car, he also seems eager to send dog whistle messages to hate wing of his support base.

I believe in calling a spade a spade. Fact is Mitt Romney is nothing more than a gutless punk who has flip-flopped his way through politics never taking a real stand on a single issue.

As much as both Bushes and McCain were not my cup of tea, I'd be the first to admit that you least knew where they stood. When a unique moment in history required taking a stand that might offend their base, they did it. Romney hasn't. He is, pure and simple, one of the most amoral characters to come down the pike ever. He will literally say or do anything to become president. The scary part is that it just might work.

mustangsavvy August 24, 2012 at 7:26 pm

The only question any sane person ever wants to ask Mitt is "So, you're a total wanker. How does that make you feel?"

FieryLocks August 24, 2012 at 9:28 pm

"No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate."–Rmoney

Yeah, Mitt…it helps to be white and come from a wealthy family.

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