Oh we get it. Mitt Romney’s a dick!
See, it’s funny because people are racist!
If you care, Romney’s people like immediately walked it back, with a very compelling “he didn’t say that.”
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 208 comments }
All the black person in Romney's audience walked out in protest.
And took his/her little DOG with them too.
Well, thank god Barry isn't a woman too, because we know how the Teapublicans have been treating THEM lately.
There's always Michelle, sweetie.
Who invited Cain anyway?
"No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate."
BECAUSE YOU'RE WHITE.
THIS.
Plus all Romney has is a patent registration number.
Oh, you think he didn't KNOW that when he made teh very leetle joke.
Anyone, meeting Mitt Romney for the first time:
" 'Mitt'? Is that short for 'Mitchell'? " Mitt explains.
Then, if both are white:
"Named after a football player? That's great!"
If Mitt were black, however:
"That's not an American name, now, is it?"
"Named after a football player? That's great!"
I thought it was Newt who got that.
SHOW US YOUR SERIAL NUMBER!
Motherfucker has a VIN number, yo!
Because you weren't born you were manufatured,…fucker
No one's asked to see Mitt Romney's birth certificate. Also, no one asked to see Mitt Romney in general.
Tweeted by:Indecision
hahahahahahahahahahaa you're a horrible person
Well, on the PLUS side, at least YOU can still laugh.
On the other hand, no one has asked to see Obama's tax returns.
Disirregardless, as they say at some of our finer institutions of Higher Leerning, he handed over a dozen years' worth.
A majority of the country's going to ask you to not be president, though.
Douche.
We can only hope. However, there appears to be an unlimited supply of PAC money at his disposal.
Oh, I didn't say he wouldn't be elected.
Remember when Obama said, "Nobody has ever asked if I married multiple women and officially disputed the equality of black people until 1978."
Unfortunately no, not yet. Maybe there's still time. Also, profited from the fetus disposal business would be good.
That's a very good point. I don't remember ever hearing of anyone asking Obama if he traveled to a foreign country that was at that very moment confronting a crisis, including a coup d'etat, brought on by the struggles of its African colonies for freedom, and preached for several years the doctrine that Africans are marked by God as inferior and that interracial marriage is a sin.
Edit: Nor do I remember Obama being asked if he had ever remained on a church mission significantly longer than his own church required, while coincidentally that mission work allowed him to dodge the Vietnam War.
A war that he was on record as supporting as a douchey little freshman at Stanford, before he transferred to whitey U where he led the booster club for white's only sports teams.
I can only paraphrase Ann Richards – 'Poor Mittens, he can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.'.
Actually, after the last upgrade, Mitt's feet are now made out of titanium.
Careful. That zinger didn't win the governorship.
Isn't Hatelaff's daddy a Messican?
Yes, he was born in a Mormon community in Mexico and actually ran for president. I guess at the time no one bothered to ask him for his birth certificate a million times.
This. Fucking. Douchebag.
That is all.
Well, there's a LOT more, but in the interests of not, you know, cascading rivulets of blood out of one's torn stump of a neck after the old head explodes around the fourth page …
You get my drift.
That is enough.
Michigan: Where the trees are the right height and the whites are privileged!
"Birth certificate?" Isn't it called a "Warranty" in his case?
Where's his patent registration number?
an EULA
I'm afraid that violating Mittbot is a violation of his EULA…
Where did Asimov stand on this?
Certificate of Manufacture. Usually these are riveted on. If his is not, I will gladly volunteer to do it.
His IMEI number should be tattooed on the back of his neck.
Is this where we see his inception date and, ideally, his expiration date?
We should check for service notices or recalls.
I b'leev the certificate (6×6) goes on about four inches below the waistband of his Mom Jeans.
My hearing is actually improving with age. Suddenly, I can even hear dog whistles.
WAIT GUYS I JUST GOT IT. It's a funny joke, because Mitt Romney is held to a lower standard of scrutiny when running for office than Barack Obama is, because of his race!
Well yeah? He's obviously not a Kenyan, he may however be from Kolob.
The punchline is that all Republicans are racist shitholes, or at very best, enablers.
(Hugs you whether or not you want it)
You know who else was born in Michigan?
Edsel Ford?
Hitler!
Sorry, what was the question?
Hitler's best bud, Henry Ford?
C'mere. We gotta talk.
Me?
If I have to hear you go on one more time about how appropriate the tree height is, so help me, I'll scream.
Fred "Sonic" Smith?
Ted Nugent?
Secret Muslim Keith Ellison?
Weirdly enough, people do ask him for his birth certificate. Weird.
Me?
Hitler?
Why not, it looks like a hella lotta OTHER racists are.
Marshal Mathers?
You mean the Enema Man?
Eminem libel!
Snoopy snoopy poop dog?
I was actually born in Michigan.
My sympathies… where can I send the flowers????
The Michigan Militia?
Michael Moore?
What's you talkin' 'bout, Williard?
Maybe not, Mittens, but millions of us would like you see you go the fuck away.
Even the people who like him don't like him.
He just doesn't get it, does he? The concept of human interaction is just beyond Mittens.
What Mitt Romney will never get is that Americans love nothing more than to see rich, pompous assholes slip on dogshit and fall into a manhole. He will keep this shit up until November when he finds out exactly how much he's despised.
Yep. Chaplin, Keaton, Lloyd, and most comedians of the silent screen understood the love of Americans to see fat cat blowhards make fools of themselves, preferably if it involved a banana peel.
But I want him to slip on the dogshit and fall into a bigger pile of dogshit, or fall through the manhole straight into the sewer line. And if a gigantic pane of glass could fall on him and cut him into pieces, that would be nice too.
Aides to Mr. Romney, whose father, George Romney, was the state’s governor, scrambled to walk back his comments, saying he was simply sharing his Michigan pride.
Ah, Michigan. Where the trees are all the right height.
The Boston Butt speaks.
Aides to Mr. Romney, whose father, George Romney, was the state’s governor, scrambled to walk back his comments, saying he was simply sharing his
Michiganwhite pride.Fixed.
Obama campaign sez “…But Governor Romney’s decision to directly enlist himself in the birther movement should give pause to any rational voter across America.”
There is SO much about Rmoney and the Republicans that should give pause to any rational voter across America.
It's the "rational" and "voter" part there that scares me shitless.
And to think I used to be a rational voter.
And does give pause to all the rational voters across America.
The problem is how many irrational voters there are.
Said Romney's spokesman afterwards: "who are you going to believe, me, or your lying eyes and ears?
Hey! Did you try the recipe?
I been distracted since then by a concatenation of unikely events. Truly I will one day soon, sir.
No probs, dude. Just checkin' on ya. (Hugs Prommie)
Dick. Asshole. Fuckwad. Douche. Dickweed. Asswipe. Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Asshat. Republican.
Twatwaffling twunt.
You're in the business card industry, aren't you?
"Dick. Asshole. Fuckwad. Douche. Dickweed. Asswipe. Cocksucker. Motherfucker. Asshat. Republican. But I repeat myself." –Mark Twain, if he were alive today
My list's at 40 pages. Yours?
All of them, Katie.
He really is a dick, isn't he?
Man, I love how proud they all are at publicly laughing at a racist joke. Except the one lady that looked around to make sure everyone else was laughing, too. Deep down, I believe that lady knows that she is a racist and that is wrong.
Not really. They're all racist assholes.
These people have no shame. They have no morals. They are useless.
This was enough for Paul Ryan — subject of recent headlines for letting a woman of color maybe date him — to temporarily shelve the Galt and just go hide in the Gulch.
What is this country comming to….
I'm beyond flabbergasted at this point. Hell, I'm pretty much beyond *any*thing.
I've asked to see his birth certificate a number of times, but the cops keep telling me to stop following the Romney bus. Also, to wear pants.
Fascists.
I do the same thing topless. Maybe we should team up?
We're already a winning combo, I can tell!
Or, you could just, you know, share the clothing and do alternate days.
Shhhhhhh. Don't take the fun out of this.
When exposed genetalia
really start to ail ya
Use a pants cannon
If from their shirt down to their toes
They're totally exposed
Use a pants cannon
It may be harsh that's true
But you're spoiling my view
With a range of fifty feet
It'll Cover up bad meat
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!
Refrain
It may be charged with air
Or even TNT
But it's making the world better
For folks like you and me
It's a slacks delivery gun
Putting pantsless on the run
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!
When you're seeing a free willy
From someone just dressed silly
Use a pants cannon
If he's dressed like Donald Duck
But doesn't give a fuck
Use a pants cannon
When cover up's the goal
Then call the pants patrol
They'll get there really fast
To cover the bare-assed
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!
Refrain
When a shirted guy is loose
And you don't want sofas juiced
Use a pants cannon
If you're looking at a penis
Or somebody's mons venus
Use a pants cannon
If you cover up your tits
Cover other naughty bits
Please don't be a jerk
That fashion look don't work
Pants Cannon! Pants Cannon!
Refrain
(Probably in G. Toying around with the arrangement. Viva Pants!)
Consider for a moment: President Willard Romney. Every fucking day for four years. Let that sink in. Send money to Obama now.
Motherfucking pandering simulacrum of a human being.
Can't talk to Romney about abortion.
Can't talk to him about Bain.
Can't talk to him about horses or dogs.
Can't talk to him about being Governor of Massachusetts,
Can't talk to him about Romneycare.
Can't talk to him about being a Mormon.
Can't talk to him about his former position on gay rights.
But you can talk about his birth certificate all you want.
Sounds like a John Lennon lyric. I can just hear the reverb-drenched, spare, piano arrangement.
Just needs more "Imagine…"
No, not that one, this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yUSGvm4BXA
also,
can't talk
- tax returns
- details of economic plan (beyond tax cuts for rich)
- Akin/rape
- outsourcing
can talk
- slacks
And can talk about motherfucking boats.
Taxes. Can we talk about his taxes?
No. We can talk about our taxes.
Paul RAyn won't answer questions about trying, along with Todd Akin, to change the Medicare abortion exception for "forcible" rape.
You mean "legitimate rape".
BzB:
No – "forcible."
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitic…
Romney doesn't have a birth certificate. He has a serial number.
and Grover Norquist logs in as the superuser
And a warranty.
He's guaranteed to be a superdouche for 5 years or 50,000 miles, whichever comes first.
Romney is the fucking hind leg of the capitalist running dog here. AAAARRRRGGGHH. I was just trying to keep from exploding while reading this story over on TPM, and now this. Excuse me while I pop an artery.
He's more like the anal gland of the capitalist running dog.
Remember, first aid first, apply pressure to the wound.
Puts a whole new slant on "express yourself," as in "Let Mitt Romney be Mitt Romney," don't it?
Mitt Romney: "Did you notice that the President's a nig–**DING!!"**
Crowd: "What he'd say?"
Romney Adviser: "The President is 'near.'"
CLANG!
He actually makes me miss John McCain, who at least repudiated the racist elements among his supporters where Romney is embracing them. Of course McCain's running mate embraced them too.
Me too. McCain doesn't bring the hate out of me like the Mitt-Wit. I just can't tolerate the crowd that McCain hangs out with.
Sarah refudiates you.
Luckily she also refudiated the plane crasher's chances of winning the election.
But McCain chose to "educate" the stupid white bitch who said the President was a Muslim too late in the game. After all he had Sarah Barracuda out getting the white trailer trash all riled up. So, as far as I'm concerned, no points for him. I only hope that the President call pull this out and win, despite all the hater PAC money that's being thrown against him. Scalia's head would probably explode. (Good riddance to bad rubbish!)
He's a……uh……he's an Arab.
"Falsely" question, my ass. Deliberately question, with intent to smear, is more like it.
The only thing falsified in the whole birther charade is the platform of imitation-grade righteousness from which these asshats make such assertions.
ETA: fuckin' adjectives. How do they work.
It has been abundantly clear for a long time that Team Romney will deliberately exploit the patently racist "otherness" aspect with which they hope to tag Obama. I don't care where Romney was born, but he should take his sordid millions and get the fuck out of this country for stooping to this.
I don't think they want him in England…
Adverbs, also, too.
So, to the NYT, Willard was being "playful" and the crowd merely "chuckled."
Got it.
Reminds me of the chuckling crowds that can be seen in old photos like this: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BJxhK2CjrIM/SEFpz9kct_I…
Might as well get honest here. Akin was. This isn't fringe anymore.
I hate Romney for his emptiness.. He's now bending all the way over and he doesn't even feel it.
I bet Mitt is really fun at parties with his lamp shade on head, pretending someone is grabbing his butt and the ever popular firing the help.
"No one ever asked if my lampshade was made from human skin."
They *know* better. They're fairly sure it is.
Just show us your taxes you draft-dodging traitor.
That's going to be my new email signature.
Just a dog whistle way to attack Obama without using the word "uppity".
“Ann was born in Henry Ford Hospital. I was born in Harper Hospital. No one’s ever mistaken either of us for a kike or a beaner. They know that this is the place that we were born and raised,”
Mitt! Quit trying this angle! You can talk all you want about where you and Anne were born and you're just like all of us but really you're not like all of us! Because, Mitt, we don't poop candy!
So Romney's spokespeople immediately assure us that he never said what he just said on tape. Who has the better sense of humor, Romney or his spokesmen?
I'm happy to see that "Baghdad Bob" found useful employment in Amercia.
Born and raised in Michigan yet soon to be summarily rejected by its voters.
That must hurt.
Oh, you would be surprised at the number of asshats who would vote for this douchebag in Michigan. Michigan has always been Republican, even though the Republicans have never done anything to help the blue-collar class in this state. Believe me, when I tell you, stupidity REIGNS here!
Not *enough,* apparently.
Can't wait to see his numbers in Massachusetts, where they really know the schmuck.
So is Mitt finally making peace with his Inner Asshole? It has been a long struggle to suppress the overt expressions of his Core Jerkitude since high school, but I guess he's willing to let it all hang out, now. Anything's better than that dumb, uncomfortable grin, I guess.
" Inner Asshole?" There is no Inner Asshole.
It's Assholes all the way down.
That's always been the problem, hasn't it? Because it's the hole, and it's not really there.
Huh, Mitt was just complaining a few weeks ago that Hopey was being mean to him and playing dirty. Remember this: "President Obama’s campaign and his surrogates have made wild and reckless accusations that disgrace the office of the Presidency. .. This is what an angry and desperate Presidency looks like."
Mitt Romney is angry and desperate.
It'll be so much FUN being a minority under a Romney presidency I almost wish I was one.
The penguins in the audience make me even more of a self hating Catholic.
He may have been smart enough to bloat companies with debt and sell them off or whatever, but as a campaigner he is a complete idiot.
Oh shut up, you insufferable sociopathic patrician blowhard, you.
Wait. On second thought, keep talking. Thanks!
It's hard to decide, huh? The more he talks the higher my blood pressure rises. OTOH, the more he talks the more feet he needs extracted from his asshole, I mean, mouth.
I have had to seriously limit my exposure to political current events news sources lately. I'll never make it to November – sane or otherwise.Let alone afterwards.
(Hugs the CRE) I've decided I should finish reading all my back issues of Science News. Also, too, finally taking pitchers wiv my new camera. Much more fun than listening to shit fall out of Republicans.
Thanks! As your Internet Invertebrate I advise you to visit Wonkville daily, to read all the interesting/hilarious/disturbing Science linkys I obsessively post there.
No, we haven't been asking for your birth certificate, just your TAX RETURNS.
Whereas Obama went to extraordinary lengths to publish his birth certificate, you have gone to extraordinary lengths to try to justify your decision not to reveal your returns. Asshole.
I wouldn't be surprised if Mittens releases a couple of years' worth of tax returns the weekend before the election, in time for the yabbering idiots in the media to talk about his doing so but too late for serious journalists to look at them and see what tricks he was able to pull with his money.
Asshole.
It does seem that Romney's campaign strategy is based on the assumption that he can do and say whatever the hell he wants and the press will never call him out on it, and that this assumption so far has proven largely accurate.
There was once a time, here in the place where Mitt was born and raised, when he would have just called him Barry a nigger. Now, black people are even allowed into Mitts church, sort of. That's the kind of progress that makes this the forth or fifth best industrialized country in the world!
Forth or fifth? Optimist.
If I remember "The Autobiography of Malcolm X" correctly (and it has been quite some time since I read it), he thought Ovid, Michigan, was one of the most racist places in the United States.
Romney’s people like immediately walked it back
To be fair: these handlers only took the job originally because they were told it was a programmed robot, and nothing is supposed to go wrong with template-based, mechanically driven, test-piloted American manufactured, preprogrammed tools for success.
Plus, he's super-boring, chick.
But he probably will blame that on being… powered out.
I heard this on the way into work on Russ, and he was like "yeah, right on, right on."
I. Am. Trying. Not. To. Explode.
He didn't say that, somebody else did!
Hey, Willard, suck macaca and like it.
Oh fer fuck's sake. The worst part is the walk-back afterwards. Just own it, Mitt. Your knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing constituency will love you all that much more.
What a smirking, pompous fucknugget.
Yes, Mitt. You've made great advances since your earlier visit to Michigan. It looks like you can finally fill a venue with your adoring fans. All you have to do is be as awful a wretch as they are.
This is only the beginning! The convention is right around the corner, and when they get that speaker/audience feedback loop of hate going, Talking Points Memo won't even be able to keep up with all the racist gaffes!
You just know Bamz is going to vaporize him on this with another haymaker joke. Willard need to keep his day job (unemployed millionaire), and stop bringing a knife to a gun fight.
It was due time that Romney went full reetard.
Apparently the Romney camp thinks the "stupid white bigot" vote is still up for grabs.
Wasn't it yesterday that his campaign was crying about some comments on a blog about Mormonism? What a fucking, self-absorbed, shallow, lip-smacking, tax-evading cunt he is and Mrs.Cunt as well.
"Michigan is where I was first booted up."
Oh, great. __Now we get days and days of Fox and Friends spitting outrage about all the mean and hypocritical liberals being mean and hypocrytical at Mitt 'cause everybody knows he was just funnin' and besides Al Franken once cracked a Caspar Weinberger joke back in 1986.
I love the smell of desperation in the morning; it smells like……Defeat.
Romney lied about his taxes before and got away with it:
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/08/18/maddow-romn…
Will he get away with it again???
Headline at ABC news: Did Romney Make a Birther Joke?
Question: Will ABC ever just state the facts?
Shorter ABC article:
"Yes."
Yes, Mitt, as a rich white person, it's so hard to get the benefit of the doubt in America.
I am a member of a forum that tracks every move of the birthers, from ballot challenges to Orly Taintz.
I'm not trying to spam, but I also have an aggregation website that is a perfect tracker of all birther and birther-leaning politician's activities. It contains feeds to every single anti-Obama birther blog and a lot of cool pics of Orly Taitz meeting with Reince Priebus, T-Paw, Newty, Rick Perry and plenty other GOP politicos. I put reports on ballot challenges against President Obama usually before anyone else as I have friends in most states who attend these hearings and many of them are actual lawyers, lol.
Depending on your perspective and level of wake-n-bake, my aggregator can be quite hilarious.
Please come visit at: http://birtherheadlines.com
Mitt doesn't even have a birth certificate, he came with a warranty registration card.
If Romney's dad were alive, he would ask to see it.
Romney's birf certificate clearly states that his father was George Romney and his mother was a standard poodle.
This from a man whose great-grandaddy had 6 wives in Mexico. Which one was *really* his mother? Let's see him prove it!
Not to be a party pooper, but Obama's grandfather was pretty much in the same league, wife-wise. Perfectly OK in Kenya, of course, but that makes it hard to get traction with the polygamy routine.
P.S. What's up with the dude in the nun's habit behind the stage?
I think the appropriate reaction is now qualified for an acronym: OFFS.
birth certificate "joke" == red meat for white trash with blue balls….
'hey i'm just so proud of my white heritage' mitt har harred!
Now we know what the trees are the right height for.
Should read: "Romney Births Cracker Joke."
Har, Har, Har, knee-slapping laugh.
I really lose faith in the system when I see or hear guys like Romney playing with the whack-job far right wing of the Republican party. Seems like he not only put the family dog on the top of his car, he also seems eager to send dog whistle messages to hate wing of his support base.
I believe in calling a spade a spade. Fact is Mitt Romney is nothing more than a gutless punk who has flip-flopped his way through politics never taking a real stand on a single issue.
As much as both Bushes and McCain were not my cup of tea, I'd be the first to admit that you least knew where they stood. When a unique moment in history required taking a stand that might offend their base, they did it. Romney hasn't. He is, pure and simple, one of the most amoral characters to come down the pike ever. He will literally say or do anything to become president. The scary part is that it just might work.
The only question any sane person ever wants to ask Mitt is "So, you're a total wanker. How does that make you feel?"
"No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate."–Rmoney
Yeah, Mitt…it helps to be white and come from a wealthy family.
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