Meet your new 'Joe,' same as the old 'Joe'Oh, did the Republicans make someone their new national hero for being rude to a Democrat, in this case our dream lover, Old Handsome Joe Biden? They did? That’s so weird, we would never have guessed. You will remember this “Chris the Baker” fellow from cupcake-blocking Joe’s appearance in his cupcakery, because he was mad that Obama said he didn’t build that. Well, Chris the Baker might have built it! But he also built another place, which he reportedly fled in the middle of the night with his rent unpaid. Why are all these people who refuse to pay their bills so staunchly Republican? Oh, did we just answer our own question? We did!

Blah blah blah, Chris the Baker is now opening for Paul Ryan:

On Wednesday, the Romney campaign put Chris McMurray, the owner of Crumb and Get It Cookie Company in Radford, Va., front and center at a rally featuring Romney’s running mate, Paul Ryan.

The Romney campaign discovered McMurray after he declined to host Vice President Joe Biden at his bakery last week. The small business owner “happened to disagree with the president and vice president on a few a things,” he said Wednesday at the campaign event in nearby Roanoke — where President Obama just one month earlier uttered the now infamous “you didn’t build that” line, sparking Republican outrage.

And blah blah blah he loves to skip out on his bills (ALLEGEDLY):

A sign posted on Crumb and Get it Cookie Company’s doors for more than four months states the store is undergoing a management change and is temporarily closed.

But Bob Pack, managing partner of Kent Square North, where the store is located, said the locks have been changed and the space has been shown to potential renters because the store’s owners, Christopher and Kelly McMurray, have moved out of state and have not returned Pack’s phone calls about money owed on the space.

“It’s one of those deals where they kind of pulled out in the middle of the night,” Pack said. “Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon in this [the rental] business.”

No, it isn’t uncommon at all, sadly! And since McMurray (ALLEGEDLY) skipped out on his rent in April of 2009 in the middle of the night like a common gypsy or Newt Gingrich (same thing), we are sure he will just blame it on Bamz, because he had been president for like four whole months by then, and anyway he was responsible for the economy before he was president too, you can ask anyone, it is just a Science Fact.

When will we see Chris the Baker for Congress? Soon? Will it be soon? We hope it will be soon!


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  • F is for Famewhore and that's good enough for him.

  • Schmannnity

    Hey McMurray: You didn't build that, your landlord did.

    • Hey, guess who lended him the money?

      His rich dad.

      So at least he's living up to some of Romney's philosophy.

  • Schmannnity

    Plumber? Check. Baker? Check. Rove: Where the fuck are we going to find a candlestick maker?

    • And they all butcher the truth.

    • The GOP is having an upholstery-maker from Delaware speak at the RNC, who also happens to be running for Lt. Governor of the state (which means she will lose to the Dem incumbent by 20 points). Close enough, I guess.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Only little people pay rent.

  • jodyleek

    Sounds like the vetting of this dude was half-baked.

    • Terry

      In the fine vetting tradition of Republican presidential campaigns. At least this time it wasn't the VP candidate.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      I see what you did there.

  • ttommyunger

    The best is yet to come: "Mitt the Concession Speaker".

  • PsycWench

    The one time I was there, it was unimpressive (and hot!). So my girlfriend and I went up the street and went drinking instead. Who knew that McMurray had done the same thing in 2009?

  • Barb_

    When will we see Chris the Baker for Congress?
    As soon as he tosses his cookies into the ring.

    • PsycWench

      I think he'd crumble under the pressure.

      • He's in the flour of his youth

        • comrad_darkness

          The only way he'll win is if he ices his opponent.

          • We knead to raise the level of discourse

          • thatsitfortheother1

            Especially when the chips are down.

          • HuddledMass

            GRO-O-O-O-A-N! Please, make it stop….

          • PsycWench

            Feeling battered?

          • BerkeleyBear

            You got quite a rise out of that, didn't you? Stop punching down already.

          • LibertyLover

            Well, if that doesn't take the cake.

          • thatsitfortheother1

            When the chips are down.

          • HuddledMass

            Ohgodyoupeople, I hate puns!

            Now wait! Now I have one: "I think I've been pun-ished enough."

            That's it, my intellectual life is over, thanks a lot Wonkette.

          • PsycWench

            Crumb on, a pun is its own reword.

          • WIDTAP

            To say the yeast.

          • BerkeleyBear

            And sift the wheat from the chaff?

    • Steverino247


      • BerkeleyBear

        The south(ern biscuits) will rise again!

        (Because of the double action baking powder that makes them fluffy).

        • HistoriCat

          (checks watch)
          Nope – not lunch time yet. Damn it.

    • tessiee

      He just wants to make more dough.

    • WIDTAP

      I don't want to start any rumors, but isn't this Chris the same fellow who was arrested for Salt and Batter-y.

  • Poindexter718

    A baker instead of a plumber? Well, at least the GOP appears to be getting in touch with its more sensitive side.

    • OneYieldRegular

      You didn't expect "compassionate conservatism" not to advance, did you?

  • Goonemeritus

    How many more businesses must we lose to the Great Clinton Recession?

    • Chichikovovich

      That damned Carter.

  • Crumb Bum.

  • Nibbler of Niblonia

    Chris the Baker wouldn't have a business if it wasn't for the taxpayer funded government subsidies to keep the supply of wheat up so the price of flour stays low.

    You didn't bake that!

  • The party of Personal Responsibility. (Tm)

  • freakishlywrong

    Crumb and skip out. Typical wingnut.

    • "Shake 'n Bake!"

      • tessiee

        "And we helped!"

  • Calapine

    Republican turns out to be douchebag! News at 11!

  • Negropolis

    It's like someone hit him in the side of the head with a frying pan, and everything shifted a few centimeters to the right, poor thing.

    Anyway, the landlord should have known better. I mean, the name of the place basically translates into "catch me if you can."

    • thatsitfortheother1

      I guess somebody was already using the "I'm a Republican Douchebag Bakery."

    • tessiee

      "It's like someone hit him in the side of the head with a frying pan"

      Everybody who's ever met him, I would think.

  • memzilla

    “It’s one of those deals where they kind of pulled out in the middle of the night…”

    Rethuglicans go in, debtors go out. Who can explain it?

  • He looks all pedophile-y

    • ChernobylSoup

      I thought he looked like Michael Stipe but I don't think anyone agreed.

    • viennawoods13

      Well, fundie preacher, so there's that.

    • delaney_blom

      And he's got the sweets the bait his pederastic traps

  • Not_So_Much

    I'm so glad the campaign has turned into a thing about 'Big Ideas'.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I'll bet Grover Norquist hasn't paid his gym membership fees since 1776.

  • Funny, I don't remember a "Chris" on My Three Sons.

    • This is where Sorosbot dances around pointing at how old you are.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He was Uncle Charlie's love interest.

  • Lot_49

    The simple folk are merely aping the behavior of their betters in the upper classes. Romney avoids taxes; this asshole avoids rent. He's just emulating his role model!

  • Somewhat OT: I'm at the NJ beach! On the way here, on the PA turnpike, I stopped to eat at a Sbaro. The guy in front of me ordered a slice, and the Sbaro girl asked him if he wanted anything else. "I want a new president!" he shouted.

    She then asked me what I wanted, I said, a slice. "A slice of what?" she said. "I want to slice off his balls and shove them down his throat!" I shouted. [Well, that's what I shoulda said.]

    More on topic, from yesterday: We built it.

    • C_R_Trogloraptor

      You must be on LBI. Great beaches, but don't let anyone call you a Shoobie.

      • Yup. Been visiting here since I was a kid.

        I had to stop just inside the NJ border to get help with directions, and a Soprano kinda guy went on for five minutes about how he'd never been to LBI, but his nephew had sent him a photo of his puppy at the beach. Very friendly and funny.

        • Nice photo mashup/ whatever-you-kids-are-calling-it-these-days.
          I trust you built it.

    • tessiee

      "Somewhat OT: I'm down the shore!"

      Fixed that for yiz.

  • Preferred Customer

    I am excited to meet Jim the Butcher and Phil the Candlestick Maker.

    • Preferred Customer

      Wow, someone beat me to this one by a lot.

  • Republicans trotting out the latest poster child for petulant whinging, has a dicey record of evading "Past Due"s? Run with it, Repubs! You ran out of actual ambassadors of good biz sense, moral comportment and level-headed engaging over partisan conflict looooong ago.

  • smitallica

    If the GOP stays true to form, "Chris the Baker" is actually named Todd and he hasn't been near a cookie sheet or oven in 12 years.

    • Lot_49

      You get just a few pubic hairs in the croissants and the health department goes all Dershowitz on your ass.

      • tessiee

        Also, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but…
        those weren't raisins.

    • OneDollarJuana

      And he never got a business license for his shop, also, too.

    • If he runs true to form of most Rethub business owners I know, then all the baking and real work was done by illegal aliens.

  • Cheburashka64

    I just knew that the Republicans attempt to harness flour power would fail.

  • Chris The Flaker.

  • Negropolis

    Now, watch when his past is brought up publically to him on television and he cries on que and painfully calls on the name of Jesus.

  • “It’s one of those deals where they kind of pulled out in the middle of the night…”

    He had to get home to his wife, but I'm sure he left a few bucks on the night table.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That's the sort of thing iwould expect from Rick Perry.

    • viennawoods13

      No, his wife was up all night baking.

    • not that Dewey

      He probably "kind of pulled out in the middle of the night" there, too.

  • Beowoof

    Hey I got mine just like Mitt, I stole it fair and square. And now my business is full of wingnuts on Hoverrounds, spending their social security on food that is probably not that healthy.

  • viennawoods13

    "No one likes this family; they are media whores; they are always out to play the sympathy card. Yes I respect him for standing up for his beliefs, but he fact that hes a McMurray screws that."
    From a local site last week when the original story hit.

    • Link?

    • Beowoof

      Ah so he is a well known dick, and now opportunist can be added to that. Trading off his refusal to host a political candidate.

    • tessiee

      "From a local site*

      So, *even the other people in Virginia* think he's a dick?

  • Negropolis

    "Crumb and Get It" is also the name of the Romney campaign's slogan after all of the trickle down with the subtle "Let them eat (cup)cakes!"

  • comrad_darkness

    Skipping out on a real estate deal is a wise business decision, if you are business. If you are a homeowner, you should embrace that crappy mortgage and enslave yourself to it. For Jesus.

  • eggsacklywright

    So he spoke at a rally, eh? I wonder if he speaks with a yeast inflection.

  • C_R_Trogloraptor

    Another Republican Masterbaker.

    • not that Dewey

      I'll be in my bunk.

  • SorosBot

    Argh idiots in the media, the so-called 'infamous' “you didn’t build that”was nothing of the sort, the Republicans might still insist on lying about what Obama said and removing it from context, but you don't have to aid and abet them; in fact it's your fucking job to point out that they are lying when the motherfuckers lie.

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      in-fucking-deed but heavens to betsy and god forbid anyone accuse a news outlet (non-Fox division) of having a liberal bias for calling bullshit on bullshit.

      • SorosBot

        Instead, just about the only media figure willing to call out such bullshit is Jon Stewart, and he's a fucking comedian.

    • glamourdammerung

      It says a lot when the only non-bigotry parts of the current Republican campaign are not only outright fabrications, but easily verifiable ones.

  • I am treating this as 'good' news only because over at Yahoo the tidal pool of sick sad world headlines is crushing my Friday spirit. So: Gotcha moments, Darwin Award contenders in the news, bring em on — anything will do, please except shootings and rapists.

    • Swampgas_Man

      What about a shot rapist?

  • Ruhe

    During the vetting process Romney's people found 12 things to recommend McMurray. But they missed the one thing that recommended against him. And that extra treat in the bag makes for the Baker's dozen.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      No Ruhe for the wicked. LOL.

  • Negropolis

    OT: So, are we going to have a mass shooting every week until someone famous gets shot and killed so our laws change?

    • The only dead guy is the gunman who was killed by police, if you're talking about the Empire State Building shooting

      • Negropolis

        I was asking a rhetorical question. BTW, a woman was confirmed dead quite a while ago.

        • I'm not hearing about a woman here in the city. The gunman and one of his co-workers, also male. That seems to be the tale here.

    • glamourdammerung

      OT: So, are we going to have a mass shooting every week until someone famous gets shot and killed so our laws change?

      Every week would be an improvement since there was a spree shooting in Texas Monday.

      • 19 people dead in Chicago last night alone.

        • LibertyLover

          Don't forget Syria.

    • tessiee

      "a mass shooting every week until someone famous gets shot"

      Only if it's a legitimate shooting.

      More realistically, I think that ship sailed when Uncle Raygun got shot and subsequently refused to do anything about gun laws.
      I mean hell, very recently, someone famous did get shot (Gabby Gifford), and the only regret anyone expressed in any form of media was that it might make gun owners look bad.

      • Swampgas_Man

        If Congress won't do anything about it even when THEY get shot. . . .

  • Ayn Rand would NOT approve!

  • freakishlywrong

    Fuck I hate these people.

  • On the upside, I hear Fox News pays better than hawking petit fours and lady fingers all day, so there's that.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    We built that and we're not going to pay for it either.

  • Aridzona

    Crumb bum.

  • You didn't build pay for that.

  • ChernobylSoup

    OT: today is the 5th anniversary of Pluto's declassification from planet to icy rock. May we have a moment of silence to commemorate this travesty of justice?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Agreed. How else will we remember that Mary's Violet Eyes Make John Sit Up Nights, but only Periodically?

    • LibertyLover

      Mickey M. Is still upset about this as well.

    • glamourdammerung

      Fight the power!

    • tessiee

      TWO of my favorite boyfriends!, talkin' 'bout Pluto:

    • It's Obama's fault.

      Still, in my heart, Pluto is a planet.

    • savethispatient

      Why so pessimistic? It's also the fifth anniversary of Pluto becoming our first ever Plutoid. Congratulations Pluto!

  • TootsStansbury

    These idiots have no grasp of BASIC CIVICS ugh they're wrecking the place!

    Oops mention idiots and get 'they're' wrong. Haha stupid me.

  • C_R_Trogloraptor

    A Squid Eating Dough in a Polyethylene bag is Fast and Bulbous. Got me?

    A Cuttlefish Eating Clams in a Plexiglass Aquarium is Fast and Bulbous . Got me?

    • dmnolan

      "Fast and Bulbous?" Like on the border?

  • The local paper said he sold out of freedom cookies. Hey entrepreneur, ever consider that being unable to anticipate demand is a sign of bizniss fail?

    • He also said his wife was up all night baking. Not "we". "She".

      Errr, ummmmm…so he went to bed?

    • ph7

      maybe all the publicity scared his undocumented kitchen workers away?

  • thatsitfortheother1

    Hey Chris, you need to think BIG.

    Merely skipping on your rent is so Democrat-ish.

  • Tundra Grifter

    (r)Money is flailing here. First there was the New Hampshire manufacturer who, it turned out, built a factory with government bonds and Federal government contracts.

    Did they learn about due diligence?


    • thatsitfortheother1

      Ritt Mom-ney.

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      due diligence is for suckers. falsehoods and gross hypocrisy are no match for the jupiter-sized cognitive dissonance that exists among these mouthbreathing blowhards.

  • glamourdammerung

    I hope the extra attention helps their previous landlord get the money this scumbag owes them.

    • HistoriCat

      I'm just hoping that somehow Bain has an interest in the property.

  • LibertyLover

    Now all the Republicans need is a candlestick maker and a butcher and they will have a matched set.

  • AddHomonym

    You know who else pulled out in the middle of the night?

    • glamourdammerung

      You know who else pulled out in the middle of the night?

      Dammit. I do not know which one is Siegfried and which one is Roy.

    • Negropolis

      The United States when ending combat operations in Iraq?

      Moses to the Sinai?

      Jesus' stepdad to Egypt?

  • C_R_Trogloraptor

    God's Nads! CSPAN's now gone from the end of Washington Journal to the deliberations of the Republican National Convention Platform, featuring Tony Perkins, Bob (Vadgeprobe) McDonnell, and that Bopp fellow and they're refining the language banning Gay Marrage, because that's the primal threat to America, Freedom and Civilization. Some Libertarians and anti-big-government types and trying to get this language removed, but of course are being shut down by the Theocrats.
    And now I've got to turn this off before I have a brain hemorrhage.

    • tessiee

      "that Bopp fellow"

      J.P. Richardson?

      • C_R_Trogloraptor

        HA! Purely by coincidence, "Helooo, Baby!" will be James Bopp's Hooker Pickup line in Tampa.

        • tessiee

          "Helooo, Baby!"

          I don't care how bad-ass you are, when The Big Bopper says, "Hellllloo, Bay-Bay!" on a toy telephone, *you answer that shit*!

          • C_R_Trogloraptor

            Oh, baby, you know what I like!

  • Tundra Grifter

    Rebecca: "Cupcake-blocking" – I see what you did there. Nice!

  • Misty Malarky

    I'll have the 'Six Cookie Combo' which apparently was six cookies and a Coke.

    My teeth are curling just thinkin' about it!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    He's moved on to bigger and better muffins.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Wait, he can't pay his bills NOW? What with all the free publicity?

  • Tony Bourdain says never pick a fight with a baker (presumably because of their upper-body strength from kneading bread).
    But cupcakes?
    I could take this POS.

  • Weenus299

    "Crumb and Get It" is about as obsequious as "Top of the Muffin To Ya."

  • Robman2

    So, his ex landlord did build it.

  • BZ1

    didn't he have a chance to get a lot of free publicity for hosting a stop for the Veep?

  • owhatever

    Something doesn't smell right. Is he masturbating in the cookie mix again?

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    Time to make the hypocrisy.

  • The city of Tampa Bay will be very surprised when the Republicans skip out on Wednesday without paying their bills.

  • i totally predicted this somewhere on the wonkettes but i am far too lazy on a friday to try to find it.

  • fitley

    I don't know, baker sounds pretty gay. The Teavangesticles aren't going to be happy with that. I think they prefered Joe the Turdwrestler.

  • dmnolan

    He's a good-looking boy.

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