the call is coming from inside your butt

Exclusive! Here is Your Picture Of Kevin Yoder All Nude-Like In The Sea Of Galilee, Wait No It Isn’t

Show me that smile again

Kevin Yoder, fourth from right, naked as Yahweh made him.

UPDATED Multiple people are writing in to tell Your Editrix she is the worst reporter in the world — no argument — and that our EXCLUSIVE Kevin Yoder pic is in fact of Rep. Tom Graves of Georgia. If this is true, and there will simply never be any way to tell beyond looking at the dates when Graves and Yoder and Paulsen went to Israel, then that makes the rest of this post entirely bullshit, which also means that Paulsen’s people did not lie to us, and we will not be reporting from his butt.

We started calling around to confirm that this particular snapshot of this particular group of ne’er-do-wells and rapscallions was indeed taken on the very same Israeli “fact-finding” trip in which Kevin Yoder let his eagle soar — REPORTING! — but a funny thing happened. The office of Minnesota House member Erik Paulsen, fourth from left, told us he wasn’t on that August 2011 trip. Except — here, in his own words! — he was? So then we got mildly peeved and stopped calling people to confirm. Hey guys, you got a problem with it, give Erik Paulsen’s office a call!

At any rate, official Wonkette Editorial Policy is pro-skinny-dipping (and also pro-Bigfoot), so we for one are very glad that the FBI wasn’t actually investigating the skinny-dipping itself (“Holy Site” or no) but rather some young Michael Grimm fellow who may someday rip the coveted Most Corrupt title from our own beloved Maxine Waters (whom, we repeat, we love!).

But while we are pro-skinny-dipping and Bigfoot and Maxine Waters, we are anti-people-lying-to-us. Erik Paulsen, might wanna talk to your office, because we will now be living right in your butt. Right in there! In your butt. With what we can only presume are the finest in anal beads and live rodents.

[WONKET EXCLUSIVE]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barb_

    This would be a good time to be one of the gulf's eyeless shrimp.

    • PsycWench

      Sea creatures are blinding themselves even as we type, from PTSD.

  • Terry

    Thank goodness there was no one there who could part the waters.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So Kevin's now a Kosher Shrimp?

    That water's cold!

  • ChernobylSoup

    I'm pretty sure there's something in the Revelation about this very event.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Rapture of the FReep?

  • RadioBowels

    Worst. Mikvah. Bath. Evah.

  • Oblios_Cap

    God's Own Undertaker, my rep, Steve Southerland and his daughter were there too, getting closer to Jesus, as it were.

  • Living in Joy

    I'm pretty sure I don't want to brush up against that in dark water!

  • eggsacklywright

    "Dragon stranded in shallow water furnishes amusement for shrimps."

    –Matt Groening

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    You can't fool me! That's the Brooklyn Bridge in the background

    • arihaya

      Sheldon Adelson bought the Brooklyn Bridge and gave it to the Israeli, duh

    • Beowoof

      Almost looks to be one of those Riverboats that troll the Mississippi looking for locals to clean out of their pay checks.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Pro-Bigfoot?

    SASQUATCH ISREAL!

    (someone had to say it)

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    If you are a pro skinny dipper, are you prohibited from participating in the Olympic skinny dipping competition?

  • arihaya

    What a demonstration of the GOP's Family Values™ we have there

  • CrunchyKnee

    No wonder there's an ugly bathtub ring around the sea now.

  • Schmannnity

    Worst Cocoon touring act ever.

  • freakishlywrong

    They're ALL peeing. All of them.

  • arihaya

    where did you get it, Bec?

    SeekingArrangement.com profile page?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Christian Singles.com?

  • C_R_Trogloraptor

    Where's a Candiru when you really need one?

    O/T: Your Friday Cephalopod.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Oh man, I watched that episode of River Monsters, where the victim came face to formaldehyde jar with the Candiru what swum up his penis.

      Poor guy was a puddle of jello…

      • C_R_Trogloraptor

        Not many creatures give me a case of the Willies quite like this thing.

  • Boojum

    I want to know who the fifth woman from the right is and whether she felt Yoder's eyeless shrimp.

  • Beowoof

    Hey I don't see Tom Reed a local congress person here in Western NY . A man of discretion as his wife was with him and told him to keep Mr. Softy in his pants.

  • freakishlywrong

    OT but I"m so depressed. I just got back from a benefits meeting and the guy from the retirement company asked "how many of you believe you'll ever get social security"? Out of 20 people, I was the ONLY one that raised my hand. He scoffed at me and said, "it's gone, you really believe you'll ever see that"? I said, "I better, I've been paying in to it for 37 years and if you think I'm going to stand by and let some asshole politician hand it to wall street to gamble with, you've got another thing coming. Don't vote for people who threaten it, we earned it." My co-workers looked at me like I had three heads. Idiots.

    • freakishlywrong

      Did I mention I live in Floriduh?

    • ttommyunger

      Goodonya!

    • ph7

      Thanks for calling the snakeoil salesman out. He's selling fear.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    John the Baptist weeps

  • FakaktaSouth

    How come the ladies are all covered up? I mean, those ladies' boobies were made by God too, and look like they'd have probably hung down into the water anyway. Come on girls, tits out, for Jesus.

    • kittensdontlie

      Are we looking at the same picture? I am seeing some keen knockers, a little hairy but…oh bejebus… never mind.

  • arihaya

    No snark here but the trip was fully funded by "educational branch" of AIPAC.

    Now if only those poor Palestinians managed to collect enough money to pay for some fly-over country Congressmen for "fact-finding" as counterbalance, we could be closer to a Middle East peace.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Who is the fellow fifth from left, the one with the open hand over his head?

    Is he dead?

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    If some crazy eyed guy asks me "Ever seen flubber bob in the pale moonlight?"

    I can honestly say "Why, yes. Yes I have."

  • PsycWench

    I guess the usual "mass baptismal" excuse isn't going to fly here.

    OT: The Onion has summed up what so many of us believe about the Tampa Convention (apologies if it has already been posted, I can't keep up with you people): http://www.theonion.com/video/tampa-bay-gay-prost
    NSFW unless you are using headphones.

    • viennawoods13

      Very nice. I had to watch it twice because I missed the crawl at the bottom the first time.

  • elviouslyqueer

    That is entirely too much hirsute moobage for a Friday morning.

    • freakishlywrong

      "hirsute moobage" is worthy of many fistings up. I have but one to give.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    For once I agree with Eric Cantor. I hope he used the word "douchehats."

    • freakishlywrong

      Indeed. It takes on to know one, eh?

  • C_R_Trogloraptor

    Well, as long as no one said "Jehova" it's all good.

    • Bezoar

      Stone him? Or "let's get stoned"?

      • C_R_Trogloraptor

        Yes.

  • arihaya

    And you call that Safe For Work ?

    What if one of the reader vomits due to sheer amount of Ugly American-ness in that photo?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    needz moar prince harry.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    This has got to be the most unfappable pic ever (and no, my fellow Wonketteers, I don't need to see other examples).

  • ttommyunger

    The highlight of the evening was the wet mu-mu contest. Thanks for not sharing pix of that.

  • Angry_Marmot

    Today, we are all pillars of salt.

  • hollywooddood

    Dick pics or gtfo.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Doesn't Leviticus condemn this kind of behavior? It pretty much mandates death for everything else.

  • C_R_Trogloraptor

    It could be worse. It could be the Skinny-Dipping Republican Governors Association.

    Of course, you'd need the HST's Wide Field Camera to capture all of Christie.

  • Lot_49

    Demonstrating once again that politics is show business for ugly people.

    And regarding Rep Yoder, it might be more correct to say, "…as Yahweh and Sara Lee made him."

    UPDATE: I stand by my story.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Wait, how did they get that picture of the RNC in Tampa before the convention?

  • Aridzona

    John Hagee is right. It is the End of Days.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I'm so ashamed to have fallen for such a blatant piece of bad reporting.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    If Jesus returned today he'd walk on the water again. Just to stay above the cooties.

  • Limeylizzie
    • bobbert

      Well, they almost spelled the Editrix's name correctly.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Issuing corrections already makes you better than trusted pundits Hannity and Limbaugh.

  • LibertyLover

    That is NOT a good look for them.

  • LibertyLover

    While these people are definitely dipping, I don't think you can call these people skinny in the least.

  • An_Outhouse

    I'd do 'em.

    • Nostrildamus

      I hope you're a giant squid.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    It would have been irresponsible NOT to speculate…

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Is Prince Harry in the crowd?

  • JustPixelz

    QUICK! Amend the Constitution to change the 25 years old minimum age to a 25 years old maximum age!. DO IT FAST! I am gouging out my own eyes as I type this. (Which is really hard to do.)

  • HistoriCat

    That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Damn it Wonkette! What ever the source, you do know that I would like to be able to have sex again in my life time.