Scott Brown’s Voting Record Should Be Off-Limits, Says Scott Brown

by Jesse Taylor

name out of mouth, pleaseMassachusetts Senator Scott Brown has a clear, simple and concise message to his opponent, Elizabeth Warren: keep my name out of your goddamn mouth, woman.

Sen. Scott Brown (R-Mass.) seems to have a new message for his Democratic Senate rival Elizabeth Warren: Shut up, already.

At least that’s how it sounded when a New England television station asked Brown about recent remarks from Warren criticizing him for supporting the same agenda as Missouri GOP Rep. Todd Akin and the Republican Party’s presidential ticket, which she says is profoundly hostile to women.

“I don’t need Professor Warren talking, or speaking, or commenting on my votes,” Brown said Tuesday, adding that she shouldn’t be “distorting and misleading the voters about where I stand on issues.”

If running for reelection was supposed to be about how an elected official performed in office or how they would perform if given another term, then sure Elizabeth Warren’s crazy-ass “look at his record gambit” would make sense. But this is not how Things Are Done, oh no.

But Warren counters that the if Brown remains in the Senate, Republicans will have a greater chance of taking control of the body and pursuing a broader GOP agenda that includes opposition to those things that Brown supported. She also said that Brown has opposed items that many women favor.

“Scott Brown voted against equal pay for equal work. I’m going to keep talking about that,” Warren said in a statement sparked by Brown’s curt dismissal of her criticisms. “Scott Brown voted for the Blunt amendment to limit women’s access to birth control. I’m going to keep talking about that.”

“Scott Brown supports Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan -– Mitt Romney who says he wants to end Planned Parenthood and Paul Ryan who cosponsored legislation to outlaw birth control pills. You can bet I’m going to keep talking about that,” Warren added.

YAP YAP YAP RECORD RECORD RECORD SUBSTANCE SUBSTANCE SUBSTANCE. All she does is talk and complain and campaign and that’s some straight-up horseshit. Elections are not about what people would do, or what they would do in the future, or really anything but message:

Brown’s campaign responded by saying that Warren is focused on the wrong politicians: “Someone should remind Professor Warren that she is running against Scott Brown, not Mitt Romney,” Brown spokesman Colin Reed said in a statement. “Scott Brown is an independent thinker who is rated one of the most bipartisan senators in the country. He has a proven record of working across the aisle to get things done for the people he represents.”

And how do we know about Scott Brown’s independent-minded nature and proven record and everything Elizabeth Warren won’t run in campaign ads for him? He lays in bed talking about it with his wife in the hottest dirty talk ever:

He was the first Republican senator to call on Mr. Akin to quit his race for the Senate. As Mr. Brown told a group of women here on Tuesday, he was feeling a little heady from the experience.

“Gail and I were laying in bed last night and talking a little bit, as we do every night,” he said, “and I said: ‘Honey, can you imagine? Here I am, Scott Brown from Wrentham, and I’ve got a truck that’s got 238,000 miles on it and, you know, something like this comes up and I’m the first guy in the country to even bring it up and tell the guy to step down,’ ” Mr. Brown said.

Elizabeth Warren should drop out immediately if she will not shut up and let Scott Brown tell us about his odometer-related foreplay.

[Huffington Post]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 169 comments }

ChillBill August 23, 2012 at 3:46 pm

"Sen. Scott Brown (R-Mass.) seems to have a new message for his Democratic Senate rival Elizabeth Warren: Shut up, already."

You shut up, you Jordache-wearing cheeseball.

Fox E. Puppet August 23, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Shuddup & make me a sammich, bitch!

Goonemeritus August 23, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I look forward to the day when Senator Brown has no more voting record to comment on.

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Hey, if Mittens can get away with "I'm not going to tell you my policies because Dems will make fun of them" then Scott "Mr Jordache Jeans" Brown should be able to declare his record off limits. Amirite?

Callyson August 23, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Apparently, not talking about your record is now SOP for the GOP.

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Scott Brown: "So, now, honey, let's talk about me before we get it on."

Butch_Wagstaff August 23, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Probably has mirror above the bed so he can look at himself to keep him in the mood during sexytimes.

Texan_Bulldog August 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

"“Gail and I were laying in bed last night and talking a little bit, as we do every night,” he said, “and I said: ‘Honey, can you imagine? Here I am, Scott Brown from Wrentham, and I’ve got a truck that’s got 238,000 miles on it and, you know, something like this comes up and I’m the first guy in the country to even bring it up and tell the guy to step down,’ ” Mr. Brown said."

That's some truly unsexy foreplay.

Generation[redacted] August 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Don't worry. I'm sure his wife's body has a way of shutting that whole thing down.

Butch_Wagstaff August 23, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Maybe it's different for the gay dudes? I know nothing turns me on more than hearing the partner whisper to me about the mileage on his old Ford pick-up.

el_donaldo August 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I'm really curious why as he's lying in bed with his wife he feel he needs to 1) introduce himself to her and 2) remind her about the mileage on his truck before talking about Akin and rape and what Scott Brown has been doing about it all. Is there something he's not telling us?

HogeyeGrex August 23, 2012 at 4:28 pm

1) She probably forgets. It may take a fistful or two of valium, but mercifully, she forgets.

2) Maybe he's reminding her of how far it is and how often he has to frequent that Interstate rest stop because she's hopped up on valium all the time?

PsycWench August 23, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I'm going to remember that conversation the next time my husband is having trouble with insomnia.

KeepFnThatChicken August 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

From gotcha journalism to gotcha votes.

Hifimikey August 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

He is bed with his wife and he is thinking about the 238,000 miles he has on his truck? No wonder the GOTP doesn't know much about vaginia's…

An_Outhouse August 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

plus he has to keep reminding himself who he is and where he lives.

HogeyeGrex August 23, 2012 at 4:29 pm

It's written on his underwear so he can't get lost.

Butch_Wagstaff August 23, 2012 at 11:59 pm

There's also arrows pointing to the direction of his house.

larrykat August 23, 2012 at 4:35 pm

But just put an ultrasound wand in his hand and watch him go to town!

RedneckMuslin August 23, 2012 at 3:49 pm

If Rmoney wins then Scotty can borrow Mitt's Retroactive button.

OzoneTom August 23, 2012 at 3:49 pm

"Being an incumbent is only supposed to be an ADVANTAGE!"

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

“Scott Brown is an independent thinker who is rated one of the most bipartisan senators in the country. He has a proven record of working across the aisle…"

Way to fire up the Teatard base, Scottie!!!

KeepFnThatChicken August 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

"…an independent thinker who is rated one…"

…with the bad usage?

Should be, "…an independent thinker, and rated one…"

Typodong3 August 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Apparently, in Scott Brown's universe, "working across the aisle" is code for just doing whatever his republican bosses tell him to do, while reaching across for a cantelope in the produce aisle.

Crank_Tango August 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Do they have teetodds in Taxachusetts, or are they all just old school Irish Catholic racists?

Estproph August 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Yeah, we have a few unfortunately, and they're wicked retahded.

Callyson August 23, 2012 at 4:39 pm

He has a proven record of working across the aisle

Meaning: he's not so dumb that he does not realize how unpopular his own party is, so he is doing his best to run away from it, and is upset that Warren has disrupted his plan by pointing out the fact that electing him could mean giving the Reeps a majority in the Senate, thus empowering the wingnuts.

Also–WARREN 2012!

HistoriCat August 24, 2012 at 10:09 am

But he has a pickup truck!

MissTaken August 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm

‘Honey, can you imagine? Here I am, Scott Brown from Wrentham, and I’ve got a truck that’s got 238,000 miles on it and, you know, something like this comes up and I’m the first guy in the country to even bring it up and tell the guy to step down,’ ” Mr. Brown said.

Rawr! Nothing says it's business time like talking about how many miles are on your truck. Oh yeah.

WhatTheHeck August 23, 2012 at 4:08 pm

“Mrs. Brown, you’ve got a lovely odometer,’ he said. Then things got a little weird.

SoBeach August 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Here I am, Scott Brown from Wrentham, and I’ve got a truck that’s got 238,000 miles on it…

And that's checkmate Professor Warren. Might as well give your concession speech right now.

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Why does Scott Brown hate buying new American trucks?

PsycWench August 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I have two vehicles with at least 120,000 miles on them, but I'm not feeling inspired by Scott Brown somehow.

HogeyeGrex August 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Fuck you, Scott. My last car was old enough to drink.

vtxmcrider August 23, 2012 at 9:07 pm

The miles don't mean shit unless he proves that the truck has a "legitimate" odometer. Oh, people lie about that kind of thing all the time. I think that's what Todd Akin is talking about.

Typodong3 August 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm

He was against legitimate rape before he was against it, I take it?

SexySmurf August 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

‘Honey, can you imagine? Here I am, Scott Brown from Wrentham, I like to talk in the third-person and remind my wife where we live and I’ve got a truck that’s got 238,000 miles on it, and female praying mantises bite the heads of males after mating. I like non sequiturs and, you know, something like this comes up and I’m the first guy in the country to even bring it up and tell the guy to step down. Of course he didn't listen to me but so what, the capital of Belgium is Brussels. Are you turned on yet?’

IonaTrailer August 23, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Needs moar meth

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 4:32 pm

I like yours too!

MosesInvests August 23, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Iceland is in the North Atlantic. Its capital is Reykjavik.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 24, 2012 at 1:44 am

Are you sure you're not Craig ferguson?

elviouslyqueer August 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Y'know, for touting themselves as the Party of Personal Responsibility™, the GOP sure has a problem accepting, um, responsibility.

Crank_Tango August 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Aaaaaaand that makes you the real racist.

elviouslyqueer August 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Woohoo! *high fives self*

freakishlywrong August 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Responsibility for what? The Gubbmint? His voting record, in the gubbmint is unfair and dirty politics. Rabbit hole thy name is Republican.

Mittens Howell, III August 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Quick Scott! Call the Kings and Queens and tell them to throw Elizabeth Warren in the Dungeons!

RadioBowels August 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

"And that beatch best not talk about my Jordache's!"

viennawoods13 August 23, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Is it just me, or is the fact that his truck has 238,000 k on totally unimportant to the topic of rape?

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Well, those could be Rape miles as opposed to Highway miles. I wonder what his Rape Per Gallon is?

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Maybe 238,000 rape-fucking miles?

Chichikovovich August 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Well, you see, it doesn't have 238,000 k on it. It's 238,000 miles. Which is, like, totally different.

People are always underestimating Scott Brown. But he has the last laugh.

viennawoods13 August 23, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Jesus. my Canadian is showing again.

Chichikovovich August 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Oh, yah, geez, gotta be careful, eh?—

HogeyeGrex August 23, 2012 at 4:34 pm

If the miles are to and from his legitimate rape dungeon, it could apply. He'd probably take a tax write off, too.

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 4:58 pm

See, you're thinking clearly due to that sparkling clean Canadian air. This makes perfect sense to us down here!

oenspiek August 24, 2012 at 12:35 am

238,000 miles is the average Earth-Moon distance. Can this really be accidental?

mavenmaven August 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Scott Brown, you didn't build that.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm

No, but he drove the fuck out of it

Mittens Howell, III August 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Soon all that's left For Elizabeth Warren to talk about will be his centerfold record.

Ouch! (those staples are sharp)

Mumbletypeg August 23, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Among the group of women he was addressing — presuming he'd finished making his point that Elizabeth Warren had no bizness talking about any of his doings — one or more of them afterward bringing their old, pageworn copies of Cosmo from 197_?_ and asking him to autograph, which he'd blithely obligate, pen in hand ready like he's done for years — "Anytime, ladies! Ask me about my prospectus, uh, perspective any time."

JerkCade August 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

He's been keepin' it real since way back in the day!
http://www.hulu.com/watch/264190

mrblifil August 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I'm Scott Brown from Wrentham and… wait remind me who I am again?

Fox E. Puppet August 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I agree that Elizabeth Warren shouldn't be "distorting and misleading the voters about where I stand on issues."

Would you care to share with us any particular examples of her actually doing that, Mr. Brown?

sharethegrief August 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I bet Scott has more intimate relations with his truck than his wife.

Crank_Tango August 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

U mad bro?

fuflans August 23, 2012 at 9:35 pm

this made me do a spittake.

i love wonkette at night.

BornInATrailer August 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

His pillow talk sounds like dialogue from a badly written political spot?

TribecaMike August 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

What, you don't sleep with your expensive political consultants?

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Sorkin?

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

What does the fact that he's too cheap to buy a new fucking truck have to do with anything?

HogeyeGrex August 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

C'mon, he's only making $174k as a Senator. It's not like his truck is a political prop, or anything.

freakishlywrong August 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Fuck the world. What can we talk about GOfuckingP?

FlownOver August 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

His junk, maybe.

freakishlywrong August 23, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I'm sure his Jordache camel toe is off limits as well.

KeepFnThatChicken August 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

“Gail and I were laying in bed last night and talking a little bit, as we do every night,” he said, “and I said: ‘Honey, here I bedriggle my quindrobule and bershnuggle my pendoggle, and forewingle my chentawgle and prontoscle my jimrangle.'

"I asked her to get me a different brand of magnesium supplements, and now it doesn't happen nearly as often."

PubOption August 23, 2012 at 7:55 pm
SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

"and I’ve got a truck that’s got 238,000 miles on it"

And what the fuck does that have to do with anything? Seriously, that is such a non sequiter and makes no sense whatsoever.

KeepFnThatChicken August 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

…and it ain't a Chevy. Remember that. A Republican bought one of them furren cars.

MissTaken August 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I had a turkey wrap and a tomato for lunch today.

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I turn away from the mic to breathe in.

Fare la Volpe August 23, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Soylent Green is PEOPLE.

smokefilledroommate August 23, 2012 at 4:01 pm

It means Real 'Merkin.

freakishlywrong August 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Why should anything these assholes say make sense? For fuck's sake.

CheeseBro69 August 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Dude republicans have been winning loads of elections using this faux working man approach.

Angry_Marmot August 23, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Burma!

(I panicked).

Pap Finn August 23, 2012 at 3:58 pm

The first rule of senatorial votes is: do not talk about senatorial votes.

MissTaken August 23, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Poor Scott Brown. Every night before he goes to bed he has to remind himself of his name, what town he lives in, and how many miles are on his truck. Memory loss is what happens to men who wear extra tight Jordache jeans.

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Not to mention, sterility. Oh, I mentioned it.

YasserArraFeck August 24, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Reduced blood flow can be a real problem when your brains are in your ass.

LastGasp August 23, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Oh and by the way, get off of my lawn, goddammit!
– Sen. Scott Brown

SayItWithWookies August 23, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Scott Brown's getting desperate — if he loses this election without having sold his daughters, he's gonna turn into a pumpkin.

smokefilledroommate August 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Stereotypical display of misogyny–tell a woman to shut the fuck up and then talk about your truck.

Fox n Fiends August 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

"Here I am, Scott Brown, desperately trying to remind people that I own a pickup truck, will insert that fact into the abortion debate, regardless of context or merit. Also, my daughter is hot and the Professor is NOT!"

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I don't know… I'd hit that (the Professor). But then again, I'm as old as her.

Fare la Volpe August 23, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I'm in my twenties and gay, and I'd still hit that.

An_Outhouse August 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

"Here I am, Scott Brown from Wrentham"

The last time I had to remind myself who I am and where I live was at a Grateful Dead concert in 1984. Excellent acid in those days.

UnholyMoses August 23, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Mine: Dead show in 1990.

The acid wasn't as good, but the shrooms were epic.

HogeyeGrex August 23, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Ah, Saratoga Springs…

Could have been '83.

And I think someone else had to remind me.

An_Outhouse August 23, 2012 at 5:05 pm

You're right! It was '83 because it was that Saratoga Springs show that I was thinking about. I remember a lot of rain if that's any help.

HogeyeGrex August 23, 2012 at 5:17 pm

That wasn't all rain, iirc. There were people with bottles of liquid a on strings swinging them around in the crowd. I remember noticing that and thinking, "Oh boy. Here we go."

Hell of a show. The band might have been pretty good, too.

Mumbletypeg August 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

It's almost adorable. Behind all the fuss about his former modeling career and emphasis on FMILF* — what a square.

(*Family Man I'd Like to Fuck?)
(and no, not meaning myself, not really; I'll pass.)

ProgressiveInga August 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Shoulda taken advantage of the Cash for Clunkers program, asshole.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm

I can't fist this enough

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 4:40 pm

No! That old, manly beater truck is key to the Scott Brown effort to distract from his history as gay fap material and Prancer of Jordache®!

Estproph August 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

I bet he gets his tires rotated when he gets to 250,000.

HogeyeGrex August 23, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Katydid August 23, 2012 at 4:03 pm

You have got to be fucking kidding me. This is an Onion story, right? He actually brought up his goddamned truck again? Who was elected, him or that motherfucking truck?

CthuNHu August 23, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Pretty much the truck.

HogeyeGrex August 23, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Alas, not. The truck would have a less destructive voting record.

fuflans August 23, 2012 at 9:40 pm

this is what i was going to say (goddamned truck??? still?? again?? you're in the goddamned senate get a limo.) if i had read this 5 hours ago.

PsycWench August 23, 2012 at 4:03 pm

“I don’t need Professor Warren talking, or speaking, or commenting on my votes,”

I sense a contemptuous use of "professor", which doesn't surprise me. It's not like getting an education lifts you up or advances you or opens up opportunities or anything.

anniegetyerfun August 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm

'Tis merely proof of her elitism. Like Barack Obama's. What a snob!

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I saw that too. Brown = Ahole.

Fare la Volpe August 23, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Tell that to grad students.

Baconzgood August 23, 2012 at 4:03 pm

"Here I am, Scott Brown from Wrentham, and I’ve got a truck that’s got 238,000 miles on it" he went on to say "I like poached eggs and my dog is black"

Fare la Volpe August 23, 2012 at 4:45 pm

"But not too black…"

kittensdontlie August 23, 2012 at 4:04 pm

With a high mileage 'truck' like his, that ol' stick shift ain't gonna work like it should.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm

So lemme see….we can't talk about a candidates taxes, business experience, potential policies or voting record…so, um, what's left?

Imma just leave this here:

Moderator: Governor Ritchie, many economists have stated that the tax cut, which is the centrepiece of your economic agenda, could actually harm the economy. Is now really the time to cut taxes?

Governor Robert Ritchie, R-FL: You bet it is. We need to cut taxes for one reason – the American people know how to spend their money better than the federal government does.

Moderator: Mr. President, your rebuttal.

President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet: There it is. That's the ten word answer my staff's been looking for for two weeks. There it is. Ten-word answers can kill you in political campaigns. They're the tip of the sword. Here's my question: What are the next ten words of your answer? Your taxes are too high? So are mine. Give me the next ten words. How are we going to do it? Give me ten after that, I'll drop out of the race right now. Every once in a while… every once in a while, there's a day with an absolute right and an absolute wrong, but those days almost always include body counts. Other than that, there aren't very many unnuanced moments in leading a country that's way too big for ten words. I'm the President of the United States, not the President of the people who agree with me. And by the way, if the left has a problem with that, they should vote for somebody else.

An_Outhouse August 23, 2012 at 4:06 pm

"Talking, speaking, and commenting on my votes is for you people. I don’t need you to be doing that. Isn't there a toilet you could be cleaning?"

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 4:07 pm

OK, that is a weird-ass thing to say to your wife in bed.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

In fairness, she'd probably already cut him off because of Akin.

pinkocommi August 23, 2012 at 4:08 pm

You keep talking, Elizabeth Warren. It's all good.

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Brown added that Elizabeth Warren should walk 10 paces behind him when entering the room at any debates.

IonaTrailer August 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm

I heart Elizabeth Warren. You go girl.

Robman2 August 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Not sure why he has an oral fixation, but, former model, now well married but want's to pimp his daughter from the dais? Any PM's to Mr. Bachman?

anniegetyerfun August 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm

"Someone should remind Professor Warren that she is running against Scott Brown, not Mitt Romney,” Brown spokesman Colin Reed said in a statement. “Scott Brown is an independent thinker who is rated one of the most bipartisan senators in the country."

This just in: Scott Brown's campaign claims that Mitt Romney is incapable of independent thought.

thurufally August 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm

But Warren counters that if Brown remains in the Senate, Republicans will have a greater chance of taking control of the body and pursuing a broader GOP agenda that includes opposition to those things that Brown supported. She also said that Brown has opposed items that many women favor.

And she isn't just talking about the legislative body either!

UnholyMoses August 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Fuck the mileage. What people really need to know is: Does it have TRUCK NUTZ?

Dudleydidwrong August 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm

We've been married for more than 50 years, Mrs. Dudley and I, and every night, every goddamn night, we've lain in bed and discussed the mileage we put on the car that day, and the total accumulated mileage.

Do you think that has anything to do with the fact that we can't figure out where babbies come from? I must be a closet Republican. Damn! Damn it all! Oh, the humanity!

smokefilledroommate August 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Just replace 'truck' with 'penis' and everything makes sense.

Incitefully_Joe August 23, 2012 at 4:14 pm

‘Honey, can you imagine? Here I am, Scott Brown from Wrentham, and I’ve got a truck that’s got 238,000 miles on it and, you know, something like this comes up and I’m the first guy in the country to even bring it up and tell the guy to step down,’ ”

Well, damn. It seemed pretty far-fetched at the time, but maybe I should have tried to run for Senate on my platform of "I'm on a boat."

TribecaMike August 23, 2012 at 4:15 pm

How does this square with Brown's claim that his taut man boobs are 3/4 Navajo and 1/4 Hopi (though that does explain why they're fighting all the time)?

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Scott Brown commented, "Scott Brown, independent thinker and almost 300,000 mile truck owner, is not interested in what this Warren lady had to say over the fencepost while hanging her girdles on the clothesline yesterday. As I mentioned to my wife while making sweet, bipartisan love to her last night, everyone is tired of that broad running her mouth all over the neighborhood."

Chichikovovich August 23, 2012 at 4:18 pm

you know, something like this comes up and I’m the first guy in the country to even bring it up and tell the guy to step down,’ ” Mr. Brown said.

Uh, Mr. Brown. That guy that you think shouldn't be in the Senate? He's still in the House. On important committees and drafting legislation that affects every woman's life. I seem to have missed the place where you asked him to step down from that too. Or are you just concerned with the Senate race and not about Akins as a lawmaker.

Someone should ask him to clarify this. I'm sure our professional press corps is right on top of it.

MissTaken August 23, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I call BULLSHIT!

In 2010, Scott Brown only had 201,000 miles on his truck. Now, while in bed with his wife he claims to have 238,000 miles on the same truck. That's an increase of 27,000 miles in two years, or approximately 1,125 miles driven PER MONTH. So many miles for a man who should be working at building this country and adding jobs. What has he been doing to add so many miles to his truck? How many miles were from filming Jordache commercials? How many jobs did he create with those 27,000 miles??

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Now Miss Taken, don't be so hard on him. We all know men exaggerate in the bedroom. 238,000 is just "AOL" miles.

MissTaken August 23, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Show the long count ODOMETER!!!

Guppy August 23, 2012 at 10:04 pm

How many jobs did he create with those 27,000 miles??

They're all in Venezuela.

fartknocker August 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Scott Brown is now employing the 2 year old tantrum strategy. And explain to me how the truck's mileage is relevant.

bflrtsplk August 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Hey, Scott, I am not from Wrentham, but I got a truck with about 125,000 miles on it that I will sell you cheap if you will just STFU!!!

Ruhe August 23, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Scottie, I feel for ya brother. I mean sometime, foreplay with your wife is exactly like countin' the miles on your truck odometer. It just goes on and on. Gittin em ready can be a lot of work and I'm always the one doin' the work. Know what I'm sayin'? And there's nothin' in it for me. Hell, I'm ready to go the minute my pants come off. Amirite? Fellas? Amirite?

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Are you saying you have had actual experience with his wife?

TribecaMike August 23, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Years ago, I read something by Norman Mailer where he said "sex is hard work." No wonder Gore Vidal used to head butt him every time they ran into each other at the Cedar Tavern.

Or should I say, "the now defunct Cedar Tavern." Gee thanks, feckin' NYU and Bloomberg.

hagajim August 23, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Scott Brown might be a "good" Republican in the sense that he isn't copmpletely batshit insane. However, he lives in one of the most librul states in the country and like the blue dog Walt Minnick from Idaho, he's unlikely to get re-elected no matter how much he panders to the librulz with his one or two votes that make him independent, maybe even the new Maverick. And if he doesn't cowtow to the insane Repugs, they'll just screw him even worse. Lucky guy, shoulda kept those Jordache's.

pdiddycornchips August 23, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Scotty, didn't your mother tell you that when you lie down with dogs, you get fleas?
You ran as a Republican, you voted as a Republican, you can't easily escape the Republican brand, no matter how fucked up it gets.

Blueb4sinrise August 23, 2012 at 4:25 pm

I think we can use something like that pillow talk in the steamy new Wonkette novel.

PsycWench August 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm

50 Shades of Brown?

Blueb4sinrise August 23, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Lot_49 started it, so s/he can pick a title.

TribecaMike August 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm

"It was a dark and stormy douchebag…"?

Blueb4sinrise August 23, 2012 at 4:45 pm

B-L awards were last week I think.

Wilcoxyz August 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm

So Scotty tries to get his wife in the mood by bringing up how much he despises rape. Smooth.

scorpy1 August 23, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I said: ‘Honey, can you imagine? Here I am, Scott Brown from Wrentham…

Something tells me that his wife's amnesia is the only reason they're still together.

BornInATrailer August 23, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I know when I talk to my wife in bed, I generally start the sentence with my full name and town where we live.

rockyoumonkeys August 23, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Well this is great news. If Brown's record is off-limits, then so should Obama's be. WOOHOO!

BornInATrailer August 23, 2012 at 4:46 pm

"…and yet, ironically, years later we would learn Gail Huff, Mrs. Scott Brown, secretly harbored rape fantasies that would make the Marquis de Sade blush.

This has been Paul Harvey and now you know the rest of the story."

neiltheblaze August 23, 2012 at 4:49 pm

If that's the way they talk in bed it's a wonder they have two daughters.

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Two daughters? May as well give the guy a cardigan. And fallopian tubes.

BoroPrimorac August 23, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Can anyone explain why this turd nugget is leading Elizabeth Warren at the moment?

bibliotequetress August 23, 2012 at 5:28 pm

"The lights are dim. I have distracted her with chat about my mileage. She does not notice I am dressed in a bunny suit and just shoved her lipstick up my ass. Gettin' some TONIGHT, Scottie style!"

SaintRond August 23, 2012 at 6:06 pm

The Republicans are turgidly grasping at any political straws to gain traction, just as much so as any vagina.

It's vagina here and vagina there and vagina all over the place. Vagina. Vagina. I'm getting fucking sick of it. And the only way they're going to stop it is if they replace it with dicks, which will be just as pointless.

Slim_Pickins August 23, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Joe Walsh is now writing Scott's talking points??

miss_grundy August 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Someone needs to kick Scott Brown in the mouth…but not with votes….

Toomush_Infer August 23, 2012 at 8:21 pm

His poor wife – it's just part of the Republican War on Women…..he's doing his part….

ttommyunger August 23, 2012 at 9:12 pm

What's that you're looking at? My voting record? Hmmmmm, here; have you seen these pictures of my daughters?

Guppy August 23, 2012 at 10:04 pm

"Bipartisan Republican" is code for "occasionally on their meds," right?

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father!

Fare la Volpe August 23, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Snape killed Gandalf–wait.

UnholyMoses August 23, 2012 at 4:57 pm

This one time, at band camp …

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