CENSORSHIP  2:30 pm August 23, 2012

Mom-Hating Major Networks To Show Repeats of Dumb Shows Rather Than Ann Romney’s Speech

by Jim Newell

What the hell?The Mitt Romney for President 2012 campaign had a smashing idea for night one of next week’s convention: Get Ann Romney to speak! She’s a nice gal who “humanizes Mitt Romney,” don’t you know. Have you heard? Once the world meets Ann Romney, nothing but Endless Victory will follow. And yet problems have arisen: (1) Ann Romney’s opening act will be a hurricane that levels the city of Tampa and (2) CBS, ABC and NBC won’t even be showing the speech. Instead they’re airing repeats of what, one thing about a detective, another one about fairy tales. A Hawaii thing. (They are all about detectives.)

From the NYT:

CBS plans instead to show a rerun of “Hawaii Five-O,” its hit police series. Viewers of NBC will see a new episode of “Grimm,” about a homicide detective with the supernatural ability to sense evil. And ABC plans to show “Castle,” a series about a best-selling mystery novelist who helps solve crimes.

The networks, which reap considerable advertising dollars even from summer reruns, have told the Romney campaign that they will broadcast an hour of convention coverage on the final three nights — but no more.

Advisers to Mitt Romney, facing a blackout of the opening-night program they fastidiously scripted to soften perceptions of the candidate, are angry.

All we know is that if any of these dumb shows feature a horse, then they’re making fun of Ann Romney for having MS. For shame.

[NYT]

 

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{ 179 comments }

Mittens Howell, III August 23, 2012 at 2:31 pm

You People don't need to see Ann's speech. Move along.

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I can hear the future outrage when the networks don't preempt the Democratic Convention.

ManchuCandidate August 23, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Oh silly GOPers. TV Networks motto is Detective Bro's Before MittHo's

PuckStopsHere August 23, 2012 at 2:32 pm

They showed their goddamn horse on national TV–isn't that enough?

Monsieur_Grumpe August 23, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Grim or Grimm? Tough call.

One_who_wanders August 23, 2012 at 2:58 pm

NOTHING is grimmer than the RNC.

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Not even NBC's ratings.

finallyhappy August 23, 2012 at 5:30 pm

not for me- I adore Grimm and have no plans to watch the GOP convention. I'll follow liveblogging here- maybe but I think I might have to wash my hair during the convention

elviouslyqueer August 23, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Accusations of "biased librul Hollywood media in Obama's pocket" in 3…2…1…

IncenseDebate August 23, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Too bad since she's doing a dance number with Rafalca.

ManchuCandidate August 23, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Tijuana style?

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I don't think RAFLAC's naughty bits compare to a donkey

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Especially since she's a female horse.

Estproph August 23, 2012 at 2:47 pm

So who leads?

Jerri August 23, 2012 at 5:40 pm

That I would watch.

freakishlywrong August 23, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Advisers to Mitt Romney, facing a blackout of the opening-night program they fastidiously scripted to soften perceptions of the candidate, are angry.

When are they not angry?
Roooorrrwrrrr. You won't like Mitt when he's angry.

OneYieldRegular August 23, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Because the best way to soften the perception that their candidate isn't a mean-spirited bully is to amp up the anger factor.

freakishlywrong August 23, 2012 at 2:55 pm

I liked the term "blackout". Let's hope 2012 is a fucking blackout of these assholes.

sullivanst August 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

You won't like Mitt when he's angry.

Inside, Mitt is angry all the time. It must show, because I never like him.

Mittens Howell, III August 23, 2012 at 2:33 pm

MSNBC's rush to purchase re-runs of Mr Ed to run on convention nights was a needlessly cruel act.

PsycWench August 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

How about that show about the polygamy people? That would be funny.

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Big Love? Yes!!!

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

oh you WON me!

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Have I told you lately you're a cruel bitter old man?

Keep up the good work

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 23, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Rafalca needs a job!

bumfug August 23, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Anybody with an antenna and a high tolerance for bullshit is free to watch this crap on several different channels.

Mittens Howell, III August 23, 2012 at 2:34 pm

It's a shame, I was looking forward to seeing Trump wearing gold plated water-wings.

JustPixelz August 23, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Unfortunately for Mitt Romney and the Repubicans, when it comes to the television networks: "You didn't build that."

viennawoods13 August 23, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I'm thinking that isn't a spelling mistake.

PuckStopsHere August 23, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Yeah, but fairness! Bet they are all in favor of a Doctrine or something now.

JustPixelz August 23, 2012 at 2:52 pm

If you mean dropping the "L" to make "Repubicans", it is not a mistake. I like to tease their obsessive concern for what happens in the pubic arena.

AbandonHope_ August 23, 2012 at 3:07 pm

(Insert pubic arena joke incorporating "one man enters" here)

viennawoods13 August 23, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I like it.
Pres Bartlett: Didn't they attach a family planning rider to the highway bill last year?
Josh: They did.
Pres: What's with these people? They can't stop talking about sex.
Toby: If they can't be havin' it.

veritass August 23, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Don't fret! I have an advance copy of her speech.

"You people can suck my dick." -Ann Romney

kittensdontlie August 23, 2012 at 3:13 pm

"and for the privilege I want royalties for it".

DahBoner August 23, 2012 at 4:34 pm

That was originally written for Ann Coulter.

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Oh come on Republicans. The TeeVee is doing you a favor.

Hawaii 5-0: Reminding Real America that Obama doesn't have a real birf cert.
Grimm: Our worsening economic situation since Bush handed over a perfect one.
Castle: (Hell, I don't know….) Teleprompters?

Chichikovovich August 23, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Castle: Doctrine, as in, you can protect your home. And Obama is just waiting to take your guns away! [That's why he hasn't done it yet! Because for some reason unfathomable by anyone except your average wingnut, it will be more satisfying later.]

Exhausted66 August 23, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Castle: As in, Where does Mitt Rmoney live.

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Castle just makes one wish Firefly hadn't been canceled so soon.

finallyhappy August 23, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Bring Firefly back!!

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Remember when Castle wore his Firefly outfit for Halloween?

finallyhappy August 23, 2012 at 6:57 pm

yes! And the daughter said something like " dad, you wore that 7 years ago"

Mittens Howell, III August 23, 2012 at 2:36 pm

If we did watch her speech it would just give us more ammunition.

PsycWench August 23, 2012 at 2:36 pm

"Get Ann Romney to speak! She’s a nice gal who “humanizes Mitt Romney,”
Nothing could go wrong with that plan.

One_who_wanders August 23, 2012 at 2:59 pm

We need a candidates wife with a superpower!

kittensdontlie August 23, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Ann is a malleable lead to Mitt's poorly casted iron.

TribecaMike August 23, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Somebody's got to lube the droid.

Boredw/Gravitas August 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

All that "You people…." crap has certainly humanized Mittens for me.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 23, 2012 at 2:36 pm

What they need is to have an alternative like the Puppy Bowl is to the Super Bowl. May I suggest a roomful of 2 to 4 year olds, a couple of cases of Jolt Cola, lots of prunes and no spare diapers.

BeefHardcake August 23, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Can I at least have a tarp?

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

With Puppy Bowl, at least you can tell it's not the real thing.

JustPixelz August 23, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Hawaii 50? Is that liberal dog whistle for "Barack Obama was born in Hawaii 50 years ago you fuckwads"? If not, it should be.

Crank_Tango August 23, 2012 at 2:53 pm

It's just a plan to distract us from the great 57 states controversy.

Fox E. Puppet August 23, 2012 at 3:14 pm

If it were Kenya 5-0, you might have yourself a decent dog whistle…

Mittens Howell, III August 23, 2012 at 2:36 pm

They're still covering Mitt's un-zippering, yes?

sharethegrief August 23, 2012 at 2:37 pm

No one needs a "supernatural ability" to sense evil when the Romneys are around.

smashedinhat August 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I would have preferred repeats of the wonderful animated series, Duckman:Private Dick.

Baconzgood August 23, 2012 at 2:51 pm

INSPECTOR MIKE "SLEDGE" HAMMER LIBEL!!!!

MacRaith August 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Hey, GOP, if you want the air time, BUY IT. Isn't that how things work in your world anyway?

OneYieldRegular August 23, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Free enterprise isn't free, ya know.

MosesInvests August 23, 2012 at 4:15 pm

INVISIBLE HAND LIBEL!1!1!1!1!

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Ann Romney, the other white meat

viennawoods13 August 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I'm loving me some Grimm. Good call, NBC.

Angry_Marmot August 23, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Bill Willingham's Fables FTW.

MLHencken August 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I can't understand the lack of excitement over watching privileged old white people getting together to complain about how they don't like the black guy in the white house.

bibliotequetress August 23, 2012 at 5:10 pm

"All in the Londonderry NH Family"

MLHencken August 24, 2012 at 10:39 am

London-derriere?

bibliotequetress August 24, 2012 at 2:04 pm

"You people can kiss my Londonderriere."

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 2:38 pm

How is Ann Romney supposed to soften Mitt's image when she's even more entitled, obnoxious and assholish that he is?

Blueb4sinrise August 23, 2012 at 2:42 pm

'…softening the image'…………

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 2:49 pm

That's not the only thing she softens, if you know what I mean.

Blueb4sinrise August 23, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Horse dick?

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I bet they autotune her and set that to a brisk beat pop melody.

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 2:47 pm

She'd be even worse than Rebecca Black.

Wilcoxyz August 23, 2012 at 2:39 pm

So Mitt wants free tv coverage for his wife. Figures.

anniegetyerfun August 23, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Free?!? That shit's deductible!

Callyson August 23, 2012 at 2:39 pm

This is bad news for late night comedians.

BTW, the reduced coverage doesn't mean Wonkette won't be live blogging this freakshow, does it? Because I don't think I can handle next week otherwise…

HistoriCat August 24, 2012 at 9:44 am

Rebecca will be busy liveblogging the strip clubs instead. Less boobs and a better class of ass.

Callyson August 23, 2012 at 2:40 pm

But FOX will run it, right? So we can still get some lulz if we like…or if we have enough alcohol in the house…

SoBeach August 23, 2012 at 3:00 pm

No amount of liquor could get me to watch Fox News coverage of the republican convention. No amount.

SexySmurf August 23, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Sorry Ann, but for "us people" Monday is Pawn Stars night.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 2:48 pm

So what did you want to do with this old bottle blonde? Did you want to pawn it? Sell it?

SayItWithWookies August 23, 2012 at 3:01 pm

…and the horse it pranced in on.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I mean, it's a nice horse, K? It's just not a medal winning horse, and really isn't good for much of anything except dancing, and it's not particularly good at that.

Plus, the blonde has MS. While I could turn around a blonde in a minute to an oil sheik in Yemen, they generally want quality merchandise that won't require refurbishing.

tracyhasfun August 23, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Reruns of Top Gear on BBC America.

Maman August 23, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I might watch Ann if Monroe from Grimm eats her at the end of the speech.

kittensdontlie August 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I prefer death by arachnid as most fitting, for "oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.''

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Let's just spread the word that Ann has the three gold coins. It's certainly plausible.

finallyhappy August 23, 2012 at 5:34 pm

no way- we need a Mauvais Dentes to do the attack. Eating that dry old white meat could make Monroe sick- and I love my Monroe(and Rosalee!)

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Yeah, all that work he's invested in his Pilates, diet, exercise regimen would end up wasted. Why be mean to sweetie pie Monroe?. Just sic one of the nasty ones on Queen Ann.

Maman August 23, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Monrosalee!

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 2:40 pm

The networks have already given all you people need to know about the convention.

anniegetyerfun August 23, 2012 at 2:40 pm

OK, I have seen the new Hawaii 5-0, and I have to admit, I'd rather watch Ann Romney give a speech. Even two.

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I just find it weird, after Star Treks Voyager and Enterprise, the Babylon 5 spinoff Crusade, Angel, Charmed, 24, Spider-Man 2, Hulk, and Lost to see Daniel Dae Kim in something that's not sci-fi or fantasy.

anniegetyerfun August 23, 2012 at 3:01 pm

And Grace Park as a non-Cylon baffled me.

DemmeFatale August 23, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I like how they recap stuff every five minutes for the dumbs.
And super-saturating the color, because Hawaii is SO dull without it!!1!

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Aw, I have to confess, I love the show. The acting and writing is bland, but I like seeing so many places that I saw when I lived there for three years way back in the 80s. My younger son was born there. I never really belonged because I wasn't from there and was (still am!) a haole (white person), but I still liked it. I was there long enough to see and do non-touristy stuff.

Somebody needs to feed Grace Park a pretzel stick or something, though.

anniegetyerfun August 23, 2012 at 5:16 pm

A few years ago, there was some scifi website that boasted having pics of Grace Park in a bikini, and I remember thinking, “Why?”

scionkirk August 23, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Shocking, if only the Republicans had their own major cable network that would dedicate their entire programming to cover every moment of the convention.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 2:42 pm

She’s a nice gal who “humanizes Mitt Romney,”

How? Does she compare him favorably to her vibrator?

BeefHardcake August 23, 2012 at 2:52 pm

As robotic as Romney is, I think he could be humanized by one of the Decepticons.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Data has Romney's photo taped to his refrigerator

BeefHardcake August 23, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Romney's so mechanical, his idea of a centerfold is an old TRS-80 ad from COMPUTE! magazine!

Hey-o!

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Throughput! THROUGHPUT! OHHHHHHHHHHHHH, DATA DUMP! OH, MY FORBIN! OH! OH! OHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

MosesInvests August 23, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Illogical! Illogical! Norman, correlate!

bibliotequetress August 23, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Thank you, I needed to read that.

Oblios_Cap August 23, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Watching the Dectectives. It's also a kicking tune.

TootsStansbury August 23, 2012 at 2:42 pm

These assholes think they can just order the networks ro air their garbage? Really? Entitled much?

freakishlywrong August 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

"It's our turn." "Start packing"..*hatelaugh*.

Oblios_Cap August 23, 2012 at 3:29 pm

They're pretty much free ads on the news anyway.

rocktonsam August 23, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I think I'm going to go camping next with lots of beer and hope the storm will mess up Rmoney and Eddie's hair.

Sharkey August 23, 2012 at 2:43 pm

One might deduce that the networks have already figured out that Ann Romney is not "ratings gold".

OneYieldRegular August 23, 2012 at 2:43 pm

You know your candidate has an image problem when the party has to rely on Ann "we've given you people enough" Romney to provide the warmth factor, and can't even put a cute puppy on the podium without voters being reminded of Mitt being a dog torturer.

Angry_Marmot August 23, 2012 at 3:00 pm

They could tie the puppy on the roof of the Tampa Bay Times Forum, built with $86 million socialist taxpayer monies and $53 million more from the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Baconzgood August 23, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I'd rather it's a Columbo from the 70's

slithytoves August 23, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I'll be tuned to the Weather Channel – best convention coverage, I hope.

SayItWithWookies August 23, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Advisers to Mitt Romney, facing a blackout of the opening-night program they fastidiously scripted to soften perceptions of the candidate, are angry.

Really, what a shame — after booking Chris Christie to yell at poor people, Paul Ryan to take away every iota of social welfare, Doug Feith to tell us why we should invade Iran, Michele Bachmann to yell at Planned Parenthood, John Bolton to yell at the UN, Donald Trump to yell at Hawaii, Jan Brewer to yell at the Mexicans, Todd Akin to yell at rape victims, Eric Cantor to yell at anyone wanting disaster aid, John Boehner to yell at people who want Congress to do anything, and Rand Paul to yell at people who want Wooloworth's lunch counter to be integrated, the mainstream media decide to skip the five whole minutes of the convention designed to soften Romney's image? Really, they should explain this biased coverage.

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 2:56 pm

But Boner will cry afterward, giving everyone a very warm and fuzzy feeling toward the MittBot.

Mumbletypeg August 23, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Who can I thank for setting up these dumbbells so you could gleefully knock them down?
Oh that's right. The tools themselves.

MistaEko August 23, 2012 at 2:46 pm

It would be great if all the detective shows could do a cross-over event and solve who killed Your Parents' Republican Party.

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 7:52 pm

We're talking cross-over?
How about a cross-over of the convention in Tampa with "Shark Week"?

BoatOfVelociraptors August 23, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Will This be relevant in any way?

CrunchyKnee August 23, 2012 at 2:47 pm

What's a matter, Willard, free market not good enough for you? Dump some of your cash to the networks and they'll show it.

fartknocker August 23, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Well fuck me. Karl Rove and Sheldon Adelson keep telling everyone they have SuperPacs with over $100 million in funds. If this GOP shindig is so important for America to witness, they can just go to the networks and purchase X hours of prime time programming.

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 2:49 pm

So basically, they're showing "Murder She Wrote", "Kolchak The Night Stalker", and "Hawaii 5-0"? Is this 1974 or 1987? I'm so confused.

bibliotequetress August 23, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Bring back Kolchak. I loved that, when I was 7.

pinkocommi August 23, 2012 at 2:50 pm

The decision to not cut away from a re-run of Hawaii 5-O for a speech by Mrs. Rmoney sounds about right.

MissTaken August 23, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Shucks, and Ann got herself a new fishbird eye nipple shirt just for the occasion.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Fishbird Eye Nipple would make a great name for a blues tribute band made up of white guys playing kazoos.

Blueb4sinrise August 23, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Hey! Thanks!

Chet Kincaid_ August 23, 2012 at 3:15 pm

(Holds up lighter) Fishbiiiiiird!!

Blueb4sinrise August 23, 2012 at 3:17 pm
tessiee August 23, 2012 at 7:54 pm

"Not only did we never clap on the beat, we never, no matter how eternally long the song went on, managed to clap at the same time." — Dave Barry

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Money can't buy you a good fashion sense, apparently.

anniegetyerfun August 23, 2012 at 3:13 pm

But it can usually buy you a servant who DOES have good fashion sense.

kittensdontlie August 23, 2012 at 3:22 pm

For true lovers of all things of princess Ann of Romney, a fishbird eye nipple chest tattoo would make a perfect fashion statement.

Estproph August 23, 2012 at 2:51 pm

So much for my Ann Romney drinking game…every time she says "you people", take a shot, every time she tries to claim she's just reg'lar folks, down a beer, every time she disparages the common people in some way, take 2 shots…I had planned to be drunk within minutes, but no more.

aaarrrgh August 23, 2012 at 2:53 pm

leona helmsley must be smiling.

ann was about to take her crown, but, now this!

still the queen.

TribecaMike August 23, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Woof! Woof!

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 2:54 pm

All we know is that if any of these dumb shows feature a horse, then they’re making fun of Ann Romney for having MS.

Tonight, on Hawaii Five-O, Dano comes face to face with the jockey who stole his daughter.

*click*

Tonight on Grimm, Detective Burkhardt must ride through the enchanted forest on the back of a mysteriously black stallion

*click*

Tonight on Castle, Dick Castle is called out to Belmont Race Track to investigate…

*click*

So how much did you want for John Wayne's saddle?

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Hey, you know the names of all the main characters! Oh, wait, so do I. Wonderfully scripted and acted bits about the human condition, aren't they?

mavenmaven August 23, 2012 at 2:54 pm

We'll see her plenty when she's on Dancing with the Stars.

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 2:55 pm

The gal doesn't have the good sense to pick out a decent blouse or be the spokesperson for some charity so it looks like she gives a shit about making an impact – why would anyone want to listen to her?

TribecaMike August 23, 2012 at 2:58 pm

But we're still going to see some obligatory convention tongue-down-throat-ass-grabbing action on the last night, right?

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 6:27 pm

God, I hope not. Arpaio and Brewer? {shudder}
Oh, you mean Mitt 'n' Ann? {{shudder}}

ChrisM2011 August 23, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I think I've already seen this RNC show anyway. Around here it's called, Duck Dynasty.

BlueStateLibel August 23, 2012 at 3:03 pm

You're kidding me – the networks refuse to air an hour of an arrogant rich woman talking about "you people?" How surprised am I!

RadioBowels August 23, 2012 at 3:08 pm

If she brings Rifalca it'll be a real Dog and Pony Show!

Hahahahhahhahahahaha

PuckStopsHere August 23, 2012 at 3:08 pm

All she was gonna say was, "GET ME THOSE PUPPIES!" so we're not missing out on a lot here.

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I don't know if the RNC has thought about this but they might snag some of those viewers back if Ann ate some bugs, or drank some pigs blood, or ran the gauntlet of swinging Nerf dongs or….hell, come on, get creative RNC. Do we have to do all the work for you????????????????

tomrfinn August 23, 2012 at 3:18 pm

you know who will be covering Ann Romney's Speech? PBS. But that's only for libtards

tomrfinn August 23, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Indeed 3 HOURS of coverage instead of Rick Steves or NOVA or This Old House or whatever

viennawoods13 August 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Damn. Monday night is Hustle night on PBS.

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm

They will only retain their funding by agreeing to offer 15 versions of Queen Anne expressing her opinion of You People as premiums during Pledge Week. CD! DVD! VHS! Cassette Tape! Your choice!

MosesInvests August 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Does that come with a tote bag or an umbrella?

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Yes! Yes, it does. You can get a totebag if you order the four-pack of DVD for you, and VHS+Cassette+autopen signed picture of Rafalca for Grampy and Nanaw. This for a low low donation of whatever, because let's face it, the handwriting's on the wall.

You can get an umbrella with the CD of Romney explaining how the wealth will trickle down upon the peasants. Get your umbrella ready!

TribecaMike August 23, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Are Mormons allowed to watch I Spy?

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I don't see why not. Culp's 5 wives (though consecutive, not concurrent) would cancel out Cosby being blah, right?

barto August 23, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Now even the fucking weather has a liberal bias.

randcoolcatdaddy August 23, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Of course, if there's a hurricane, the networks might be interested in showing more than just three hours of the convention.

Misty Malarky August 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Ann Romney is sort of like a Hexenbiest, so it's all the same difference anyhow.

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Yes, but the Hexenbiest seems to have a softer side, compared to her Imperial Highness of the Spun Gold T-Shirt.

johnnyzhivago August 23, 2012 at 3:49 pm

So they're not showing Mitt's work as a missionary in a feral kitten refuge and a puppy farm?

Generation[redacted] August 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm

With any luck, the most extensive coverage of the convention will be on the Weather Channel.

ChessieNefercat August 23, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Must get back to work, but seriously? They're still going with "You people should just eat cake" as a good thing? Humanizing the Rombot 3000 unit is one thing, but it seems to me that they might want to consider being somewhat selective about the type of human they want people to think of when they hear "Romney." "Romney = arrogant, snotty bitch" is not a good thing, RNC party planners!

carolinaswamp August 23, 2012 at 4:13 pm

They aren't going to show SC Gov. Nikki Haley's speech either, after she sold out the whole state of South Carolina to get a prime time slot at the convention! They'll be sorry. She is likely to make very unpleasant comments about the networks on her Facebook page. I'm sure this will be devastating for NBC, CBS, and ABC.

DahBoner August 23, 2012 at 4:28 pm

They could save a lot of money by not covering the Convention and just broadcasting Leave it to Beaver reruns with a little graphic at the bottom:

THIS COULD BE AMERICA IF YOU ONLY VOTE GOP

mwittier August 23, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Solution seems simple: if the Networks are hellbent on showing murder mysteries, just murder someone.

With votes.

BZ1 August 23, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Saw the Ann on the teevee, not all that nice.

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 7:33 pm

"Grimm" is not a dumb show.
It is a somewhat awesome show that has crimes based loosely on the Grimm stories. It's set in Portland, and filmed in Portland; and on at least two separate occasions, when I took my daily walk, I walked past where they were filming.

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Oh, fer the love a…
It absolutely floors me how much these bilionaires love something for nothing.
I suppose now Mitt will show up with some fucking laminated note from the head of the network and demand free airtime, like he was Lindsay Lohan's mother at Carvel:
http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/dina_creamed_by_c

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 7:45 pm

*presses back of hand to forehead*
Oh, what a crushing blow for Mittens!
If only his autocratic blonde stepford wife, who refers to America as "you people", were allowed to tell us that Mitt is really just a misunderstood nice guy; we'd completely forget that he has not a single idea in his head that doesn't involve lining the pockets of the 1% and/or crushing the 99% under his solid platinum boot heel.
But alas, it is not to be.
*bites knuckle of index finger*

mr bojangles August 23, 2012 at 8:05 pm

show us your tits!

ttommyunger August 23, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I'm wondering what level of force would be required to force me to watch her speak…

vtxmcrider August 23, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Hawaii Five-O? Now we know Obama is behind this.

gurukalehuru August 24, 2012 at 4:05 am

Bullshit. I call Bullshit. The Republicans have more money than God and unlimited influence within the television industry. If they wanted gavel to gavel coverage of their convention, they would have it. No, they're hiding this tardfest like it was Bridget McCain.

Coupled with Mitt not wanting to talk about his taxes, his tax plan, his economic plan, abortion, his record at Bain Capital or pretty much anything, and the Republican strategy is clear. Keep as much actual information out of the press as possible and bet everything on the big billion dollar ad buy in October.

It might work, too.

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Hook up the male and female connector units!!

actor212 August 24, 2012 at 9:20 am

Kinky!

No, I mean the cable is kinked.

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