Your Morning Nice Time Post: Roanoke Car Dealer Does Not Douche On Gay Person

  don't get used to it

Uh, thanks?Now that we have had our fill of sheriffs who want to murder abortionists and hurricanes who want to murder me, here is a nice story from Edge on the Net, about a gay college kid who keeps getting his car vandalized by good Christian (presumably) folk, who among other things (and because they are brain surgeons) keyed “dyke” into his car.

Jordan Addison’s car had been vandalized four times between March and May. The vandals spray-painted anti-gay slurs on Addison’s car because he is gay and someone even keyed the word “dyke” into the side of the Radford University student’s car.

Despite Addison’s best efforts, he could not remove the homophobic epithets from his vehicle and the lowest estimate he received to clean the car was $2,500 — a price he could not afford.

When Richard Henegar, the manager of Quality Auto Paint and Body, heard what happened to the young man he insisted that he help out.

“Once I saw the vandalism that was done to it, I said ’that’s uncalled for. We’re gonna fix your car.’ That’s the least we can do,” he said.

Turned out it actually was the least they could do, as a whole bunch of businesses then got together and totally pimped Addison’s ride, Logo-styley, adding an extra 10 large in window tintings and a super-boss hi-fi system, which is really really nice of everybody in Roanoke! But maybe don’t gay-bash your own car in hopes of a proper pimpin’ because they probably already shot their wad.

Also, One Million Moms? You should probably start planning your boycott right about now, so you can quickly declare victory and go home.

[EdgeontheNet]

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124 comments

    1. CommieLibunatic

      The victim is male? The least these cross-wavers can do is use the correct slur. Fuckin' wannabes.

      1. Beowoof

        That would imply working brain cells, which the evidence clearly demonstrates they are sorely lacking.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Maybe more than you think. It's like we're all living in one big reality teevee show; the assholes just get all the airtime. Nice people are generally to boring to notice.

      1. CommieLibunatic

        I maybe nice(-ish) and non-confrontational, but rest assured that I will hit that button in the voting booth with a liberal name next to it like the fist of an angry god.

        1. tessiee

          Isn't it convenient that our friends in the Republican party make it so easy to decide by being such blazing fucktards, in public, and all the time?

    2. sewollef

      Actually, I think these businesses went above and beyond merely being decent people. Which for me is an even nicer thing to do.

      Question: Is that car legal or lawful to drive on our roads? Apparently I just read on the internets that there's a difference.

      Just askin'….

  1. Serolf_Divad

    In Virginia, no less! Awesome, now let's see if we can get Sharon Bottoms custody of her kid.

      1. gullywompr

        It is, but there are some cool hillbillies in the vicinity. Check out Floyd County, which honest-to-god has but one stop light, in "downtown" Floyd, and is populated by farmers, businessfolk, and hippies. But yeah, it's a red area, save for Roanoke and Montgomery county (where VA Tech is).

      2. sullivanst

        It's gonna be close, but RCP's poll average currently has Barack ahead by a (probably not statistically significant) whisker

        1. gullywompr

          He will carry it based on the populations of Northern Virginia, Roanoke, the bedroom communities south of DC along I-95, and oddly enough Richmond and parts of Tidewater. Nate Silver gives 63% chance of an Obama win.

          It's amazing how much of winning presidential elections comes down to just a few counties in the entire nation.

  2. SoBeach

    … a whole bunch of businesses then got together and totally pimped Addison’s ride…

    Nice. Wonder if they gave him a Calvin pissing on Pat Robertson sticker for his rear window.

  3. JustPixelz

    God moved their hearts to help a fellow human being.

    I am inspired. I will chip in for the cost to remove a Confederate traitor flag from some poor redneck's car.

    1. widestanceromance

      I once read that they often seem to be held together by bumper stickers. That said, I drive a Forester, with not a single sticker on it so I don't get legitimately keyed.

  4. Lot_49

    Is that ultra-donked K-car really the kid's ride? Cuz it's awesome!

    Wonder where you keep the stepladder to get in and out.

    1. chicken_thief

      Wait until it needs new tires. Jordan is going to have to pimp himself out to half of the county in order to afford them.

        1. tessiee

          Don't get me wrong; I think this is great, but watch the incidence of any and all green VWs with Virginia plates getting keyed, tires slashed, etc.

        2. SoBeach

          That's not what I'd consider "pimped out". It looks flawless. And the kid doesn't look like someone who would shake everyone else's windows with that 1100 watt sound system at stoplights, either.

    2. Lascauxcaveman

      I think that might actually be a late 80s Buick Riviera. A fairly high-status ride among the droppers and donkers. Anyway, I wouldn't say K-car to guy that built it.

  5. boobookitteh

    I just found out that some of my co-workers at my federally funded place of employment that recieves Medicare and Medicaid reimbursement are either going to vote for Romney or are seriously considering it.

    You're going to have to do a hell of a lot better than pimping out a gay kid's ride to lift my mood today.

    As a side note, while twittering this, I initially made the typo "Romney/aryan". So that was amusing.

    1. freakishlywrong

      Good. I hope they lose it. Unfortunately, we have to live with our idiot fellow citizen's utter ignorance.

  6. SorosBot

    Ah, good old Christians; once again proving that they're the most hateful, nasty and just plain immoral people in America.

    1. Mumbletypeg

      Yeah! whereas those Muslims? too busy bowing and praying as regularly scheduled and setting up good schools and minding special diet to distinguish themselves. Never getting any righteous-outrage hours clocked in or public harassment points scored! Brothers of Allah better get crackin if they wanna edge out their Xtian forerunners in the, uh, notoriety department~

          1. PsycWench

            Yes, I taught it every semester for a while. It's a fun class to teach.
            Be glad her graduation was a couple years ago. The 2012 speaker was either way hung over or high as a kite.

          2. chicken_thief

            Confirmed with over-achieving daughter – she did take 101. Loved it! Her professor had a name change – married? Divorced? Whim? That you? I've tried to come up with a hint as to who my daughter is so you would know without telling the world who she is – is highly decorated 2011 grad who worked as a paid adviser to the Orientation Committee during her senior year enough?

          3. PsycWench

            That wasn't me but I know who the professor is. She's a good friend. I'll have to look at the commencement program to figure out who your over-achieving daughter is, but congrats…you know Roanoke College has been cited a couple of times as a tough grading school.

    1. gullywompr

      Us Hokies used to mack on the Radford girls. Yes, thirty years ago. I'm quite certain absolutely none of that sort of untoward behavior takes place these days.

  7. b[redact]opple

    I had a Lesbian gym teacher in high school who'd graduated from Radford. She was pretty cool. That's the only thing I know about Radford.

    1. BoatOfVelociraptors

      I grew up in a small town and took a body shaping class from a guy with a Tom from Finland mustache who played Blur, Girls & Boys during workouts. It was years later, after I had lived in a real city, that I realized how gay the whole thing was. Dude was brave.

  8. Jus_Wonderin

    OT: But I want to trick out my 12 year old Pathfinder (paid for) with over the top Obama stickers (or, maybe a wrap). Then put a webcam in it. Then, park it overnight in a known Romney supporting neighborhood just to see what cool web images I get as the fuckers vandalize it.

    Could make a cool YouTube, don't ya think?

    1. johnnyzhivago

      You need to put some gigantic Obama graphics in the windows on one side and then "Everything I need to know about Islam I learned on 9/11" graphics on the other side. Then get video of people's heads exploding.

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        Oh, I like the way you think. I can imagine the video I get could be used on True Blood for a new "vampire true death" FX.

  9. Redrighthand

    And I quote from the Galatians 5:20 – And the pharisees demanded that the goodly go out among the people of the city, and key all the homo's cars, for they and their whips are abomination.

    There, Biblical justification.

  10. WhatTheHeck

    What would Jesus drive?
    I suspect it would be a big-ass SUV so as to get all his male companions seated close to him as they went cruising.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      You know he has to have a "God is my Co-pilot" bumper sticker. Or, would that be "Me is my Co-pilot"?

    2. OneDollarJuana

      Jesus would drive one of those little '60s sports cars that go on water as well as land.

      Or a food truck that serves fish sandwiches.

  11. MosesInvests

    DYKE? Really?! I thought trailer trash knew how to spell FAGIT. Sheesh. But good on that bodyshop guy.

  12. SayItWithWookies

    My local news said the word was "dye" — either way, a great lack of awareness is evinced. Roanoke is a funny place — a bastion of staid but placid conservatism in the sea of hickish insanity that is western Virginia. A friend of mine went to Wyse College (now UVA West or something) and said he was routinely menaced and threatened because he had long hair. It doesn't take much.

  13. NorthStarSpanx

    Maybe they meant "Hey, Obama, use this as a Dyke against the next oil spill, since we need to keep progressing the American economy and the umbrella of competitive job creation so we aren't so dependent on those places that perhaps want to see us destroyed by our thirsty market for that fungible commodity where the scientists flag that molecule and we all love the smell of emissions in the morning."

    Where you see forced vandalism, I see legitimate patriotism.

    1. sewollef

      I think the kid drove a compact.

      So that's why they shortened it to simply 'dyke'. Now if he'd driven a Hummer….

  14. RedneckMuslin

    "and a super-boss hi-fi system"
    Can you play, "It's Raining Men" loud enough to make the trunk vibrate?

  15. Misty Malarky

    "The vandals spray-painted anti-gay slurs on Addison’s car because he is gay"

    Sounds like their lawyer's and their relatives' argument in their defense.

  16. gullywompr

    Next these liberals will want to create a new agency to hand out auto repairs to gheyz! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!1!

  17. Callyson

    OT alert:

    Mitt Romney's $250 million fortune is largely a black hole: Aside from the meager and vague disclosures he has filed under federal and Massachusetts laws, and the two years of partial tax returns (one filed and another provisional) he has released, there is almost no data on precisely what his vast holdings consist of, or what vehicles he has used to escape taxes on his income. Gawker has obtained a massive cache of confidential financial documents that shed a great deal of light on those finances, and on the tax-dodging tricks available to the hyper-rich that he has used to keep his effective tax rate at roughly 13% over the last decade.

    http://gawker.com/5936394

    BRB…

  18. rockyoumonkeys

    I'd be paranoid to even drive that thing after that. Because it's gonna get vandalized again. You know it is. The ignorant pricks who did it the first four times would see that as a CHALLENGE.

  19. tessiee

    But this doesn't address the REAL problem, which is that Christians are persecuted and discriminated against, which you can tell by all the times cars with Jebus fish and bumper stickers get vandalized, which is never.

    1. LakeLucilleLoon

      My favorite christian auto expressionism is the little "sticker families" that they put on their back windows to advertise their fecundity. I always wanted to put two Moms, one Dad, 10 dogs and 20 cats on my window….that would get people talking!

      1. Fare la Volpe

        My dad's business does vehicle lettering, and while he had never done those stickers before, he did do a custom order for a friend: he wanted the dad to have two heads and no arms, the mom to have an octopus for a face, and the children to all have horns and devil wings.

        1. TribecaMike

          I saw one of those the other day in North Carolina with the three kids replaced by Grateful Dead bears.

  20. OneYieldRegular

    I knew a guy who had "Fag" painted onto the back of his car and had a pretty good idea which neighbor had been responsible, so he photographed himself leaning down next to the slur, smiling and giving a thumbs up, and mailed the photo to the neighbor. Problem solved.

  21. comrad_darkness

    Let me guess the vandals went to confession, got their souls all scrubbed, then went and vandalized it again.

    Lather Rinse Repeat.

  22. Jeri 2.0

    Ten large adds a really boss stereo system, tinted windows, and I hope a state of the art, kick-ass, security camera system with night vision capabilities and direct computer feed. Let the dycks doing the damage pay for it.

  23. ILLinIL

    The story is way funnier with "dyke" keyed into the car but in actually, the kid had "die" keyed into his car. Diekeyed

  24. ttommyunger

    "Dyke", for a guy? Amazing. Brings to mind the recent hate email Stephanie Miller got referring to her as a "Kunt".

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