Uh, thanks?Now that we have had our fill of sheriffs who want to murder abortionists and hurricanes who want to murder me, here is a nice story from Edge on the Net, about a gay college kid who keeps getting his car vandalized by good Christian (presumably) folk, who among other things (and because they are brain surgeons) keyed “dyke” into his car.

Jordan Addison’s car had been vandalized four times between March and May. The vandals spray-painted anti-gay slurs on Addison’s car because he is gay and someone even keyed the word “dyke” into the side of the Radford University student’s car.

Despite Addison’s best efforts, he could not remove the homophobic epithets from his vehicle and the lowest estimate he received to clean the car was $2,500 — a price he could not afford.

When Richard Henegar, the manager of Quality Auto Paint and Body, heard what happened to the young man he insisted that he help out.

“Once I saw the vandalism that was done to it, I said ’that’s uncalled for. We’re gonna fix your car.’ That’s the least we can do,” he said.

Turned out it actually was the least they could do, as a whole bunch of businesses then got together and totally pimped Addison’s ride, Logo-styley, adding an extra 10 large in window tintings and a super-boss hi-fi system, which is really really nice of everybody in Roanoke! But maybe don’t gay-bash your own car in hopes of a proper pimpin’ because they probably already shot their wad.

Also, One Million Moms? You should probably start planning your boycott right about now, so you can quickly declare victory and go home.


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  • and it's wind-powered!

    • larrykat

      That's so gay.

  • Does Dr.Zoom's "Vald the Impala" still need some fixin'?

    • That dykemobile?

      • Crank_Tango

        it's a real pussywagon.

  • freakishlywrong

    That thing is screaming for TrukNutz™

    • As surely as I go screaming *from* them, yes, yes it is.

  • Estproph

    Nothing says Christian like keying a car because someone is gay…

    • I am thinking Xtian fish logo on car people at that. You know, the folks that cut you off on the expressway

      • You noticed that too, uh? Those small-minded, self-repressed little cunts are always the rudest drivers on the road.

    • MissTaken

      What Would Jesus Key?

    • CindynEncinitas

      Keyin' for Jeebus!

    • CommieLibunatic

      The victim is male? The least these cross-wavers can do is use the correct slur. Fuckin' wannabes.

      • Beowoof

        That would imply working brain cells, which the evidence clearly demonstrates they are sorely lacking.

  • Oblios_Cap

    There are actually still decent people in this country. Just not enough of them.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Maybe more than you think. It's like we're all living in one big reality teevee show; the assholes just get all the airtime. Nice people are generally to boring to notice.

    • UW8316154

      I just hope they vote.

      • CommieLibunatic

        I maybe nice(-ish) and non-confrontational, but rest assured that I will hit that button in the voting booth with a liberal name next to it like the fist of an angry god.

        • tessiee

          Isn't it convenient that our friends in the Republican party make it so easy to decide by being such blazing fucktards, in public, and all the time?

    • sewollef

      Actually, I think these businesses went above and beyond merely being decent people. Which for me is an even nicer thing to do.

      Question: Is that car legal or lawful to drive on our roads? Apparently I just read on the internets that there's a difference.

      Just askin'….

    • Terry

      There are lots of them, they're just not as loud as the asswipes and the lunatics.

  • freakishlywrong

    Oh, and Becca, Google "Tropical Storm Joyce".

    • commiegirl99


  • Serolf_Divad

    In Virginia, no less! Awesome, now let's see if we can get Sharon Bottoms custody of her kid.

    • bibliotequetress

      In Appalachia, no less!

  • Schmannnity

    I guess Mitt has now lost Virginia.

    • chicken_thief

      Not so fast. Roanoke is a liberal oasis in the heart of hillbilly country.

      • gullywompr

        It is, but there are some cool hillbillies in the vicinity. Check out Floyd County, which honest-to-god has but one stop light, in "downtown" Floyd, and is populated by farmers, businessfolk, and hippies. But yeah, it's a red area, save for Roanoke and Montgomery county (where VA Tech is).

      • sullivanst

        It's gonna be close, but RCP's poll average currently has Barack ahead by a (probably not statistically significant) whisker

        • gullywompr

          He will carry it based on the populations of Northern Virginia, Roanoke, the bedroom communities south of DC along I-95, and oddly enough Richmond and parts of Tidewater. Nate Silver gives 63% chance of an Obama win.

          It's amazing how much of winning presidential elections comes down to just a few counties in the entire nation.

  • SoBeach

    … a whole bunch of businesses then got together and totally pimped Addison’s ride…

    Nice. Wonder if they gave him a Calvin pissing on Pat Robertson sticker for his rear window.

    • PubOption

      John Calvin?

  • PsycWench

    Then Addison drove slowly by Crumb and Get It and honked really loudly.

    • tessiee

      V. good.

  • JustPixelz

    God moved their hearts to help a fellow human being.

    I am inspired. I will chip in for the cost to remove a Confederate traitor flag from some poor redneck's car.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      No need to take it off, just plaster a big one of these over it.

      It'd be real cathartic to buy a case of those and just apply them on top of every dumb redneck's freedom of expression you see.

      • viennawoods13

        I want me one of those!!

  • One_who_wanders

    Who are you and what have you done with Rebecca?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Silly Christians! Everyone knows that dykes only drive Subarus or beat-up Ford F-150s.

    • widestanceromance

      I once read that they often seem to be held together by bumper stickers. That said, I drive a Forester, with not a single sticker on it so I don't get legitimately keyed.

    • UW8316154

      Don't forget the Golden Retriever!

    • mavenmaven

      Oh no, in LA its Toyota Rav4s.

  • Lot_49

    Is that ultra-donked K-car really the kid's ride? Cuz it's awesome!

    Wonder where you keep the stepladder to get in and out.

    • chicken_thief

      Wait until it needs new tires. Jordan is going to have to pimp himself out to half of the county in order to afford them.

      • Terry

        That's not his car in the photo. I followed the links to a VA tv station and watched the video. His car is a forest green VW with black rims. It looks AWESOME.

        • tessiee

          Don't get me wrong; I think this is great, but watch the incidence of any and all green VWs with Virginia plates getting keyed, tires slashed, etc.

        • SoBeach

          That's not what I'd consider "pimped out". It looks flawless. And the kid doesn't look like someone who would shake everyone else's windows with that 1100 watt sound system at stoplights, either.

    • Look in the tunk.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I think that might actually be a late 80s Buick Riviera. A fairly high-status ride among the droppers and donkers. Anyway, I wouldn't say K-car to guy that built it.

  • I just found out that some of my co-workers at my federally funded place of employment that recieves Medicare and Medicaid reimbursement are either going to vote for Romney or are seriously considering it.

    You're going to have to do a hell of a lot better than pimping out a gay kid's ride to lift my mood today.

    As a side note, while twittering this, I initially made the typo "Romney/aryan". So that was amusing.

    • freakishlywrong

      Good. I hope they lose it. Unfortunately, we have to live with our idiot fellow citizen's utter ignorance.

    • bibliotequetress

      Don't think that was a typo.

    • man i hope you busted them but good.

  • SorosBot

    Ah, good old Christians; once again proving that they're the most hateful, nasty and just plain immoral people in America.

    • Yeah! whereas those Muslims? too busy bowing and praying as regularly scheduled and setting up good schools and minding special diet to distinguish themselves. Never getting any righteous-outrage hours clocked in or public harassment points scored! Brothers of Allah better get crackin if they wanna edge out their Xtian forerunners in the, uh, notoriety department~

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I know good people who went to Radford. 'Çourse, that was thirty years ago.

    • chicken_thief

      My daughter grah-gee-ated Roanoke College a couple years ago. Nice town.

      • PsycWench

        Did she take any psych courses?

        • chicken_thief

          Probably 101 only. Did you teach it/attend there also, too?

          • PsycWench

            Yes, I taught it every semester for a while. It's a fun class to teach.
            Be glad her graduation was a couple years ago. The 2012 speaker was either way hung over or high as a kite.

          • chicken_thief

            Confirmed with over-achieving daughter – she did take 101. Loved it! Her professor had a name change – married? Divorced? Whim? That you? I've tried to come up with a hint as to who my daughter is so you would know without telling the world who she is – is highly decorated 2011 grad who worked as a paid adviser to the Orientation Committee during her senior year enough?

          • PsycWench

            That wasn't me but I know who the professor is. She's a good friend. I'll have to look at the commencement program to figure out who your over-achieving daughter is, but congrats…you know Roanoke College has been cited a couple of times as a tough grading school.

    • gullywompr

      Us Hokies used to mack on the Radford girls. Yes, thirty years ago. I'm quite certain absolutely none of that sort of untoward behavior takes place these days.

      • Blueb4sinrise

        Ya know, now that you mention it, he did go to VT, she went to Radford.

        • gullywompr

          And there you have it.

  • MissTaken

    Yay humanity!

  • b[redact]opple

    I had a Lesbian gym teacher in high school who'd graduated from Radford. She was pretty cool. That's the only thing I know about Radford.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      I grew up in a small town and took a body shaping class from a guy with a Tom from Finland mustache who played Blur, Girls & Boys during workouts. It was years later, after I had lived in a real city, that I realized how gay the whole thing was. Dude was brave.

  • Errrr, "dyke"? "He"?

    Look, if you're going to hate someone, at least make an effort.

    • sullivanst

      Homophobic slurs, how do they work?

      • eggsacklywright

        Like magnets.

    • hagajim

      They didn't know how to spell fag.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    OT: But I want to trick out my 12 year old Pathfinder (paid for) with over the top Obama stickers (or, maybe a wrap). Then put a webcam in it. Then, park it overnight in a known Romney supporting neighborhood just to see what cool web images I get as the fuckers vandalize it.

    Could make a cool YouTube, don't ya think?

    • You need to put some gigantic Obama graphics in the windows on one side and then "Everything I need to know about Islam I learned on 9/11" graphics on the other side. Then get video of people's heads exploding.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Oh, I like the way you think. I can imagine the video I get could be used on True Blood for a new "vampire true death" FX.

  • Redrighthand

    And I quote from the Galatians 5:20 – And the pharisees demanded that the goodly go out among the people of the city, and key all the homo's cars, for they and their whips are abomination.

    There, Biblical justification.

  • WhatTheHeck

    What would Jesus drive?
    I suspect it would be a big-ass SUV so as to get all his male companions seated close to him as they went cruising.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      You know he has to have a "God is my Co-pilot" bumper sticker. Or, would that be "Me is my Co-pilot"?

    • OneDollarJuana

      Jesus would drive one of those little '60s sports cars that go on water as well as land.

      Or a food truck that serves fish sandwiches.

  • MosesInvests

    DYKE? Really?! I thought trailer trash knew how to spell FAGIT. Sheesh. But good on that bodyshop guy.

  • My local news said the word was "dye" — either way, a great lack of awareness is evinced. Roanoke is a funny place — a bastion of staid but placid conservatism in the sea of hickish insanity that is western Virginia. A friend of mine went to Wyse College (now UVA West or something) and said he was routinely menaced and threatened because he had long hair. It doesn't take much.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Maybe they meant "Hey, Obama, use this as a Dyke against the next oil spill, since we need to keep progressing the American economy and the umbrella of competitive job creation so we aren't so dependent on those places that perhaps want to see us destroyed by our thirsty market for that fungible commodity where the scientists flag that molecule and we all love the smell of emissions in the morning."

    Where you see forced vandalism, I see legitimate patriotism.

    • sewollef

      I think the kid drove a compact.

      So that's why they shortened it to simply 'dyke'. Now if he'd driven a Hummer….

  • thurufally

    "The best part," Addison added, "is that these rims are like wheel toys for my gerbils."

    • cromiller

      I see what you did there.

  • RadioBowels

    I heard that when the car was being vandalized the gas lines shut off.

    • Good thing, too, or there'd be a litter of Mini Coopers running around on teh welfare.

    • UnholyMoses

      But only if it's legit vandalizing.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      His car was totally asking for it.

      • eggsacklywright

        Wasn't even wearing fender skirts.

        • RadioBowels

          It didn't have a front end bra either.

  • Wadisay

    I'm glad that Mr. Addison did not hold his breath waiting for Chick-Fil-A to step up.

  • RedneckMuslin

    "and a super-boss hi-fi system"
    Can you play, "It's Raining Men" loud enough to make the trunk vibrate?

    • Only if she's freed herself from the leg irons

    • eggsacklywright

      Not just the trunk – the boobies, too.

  • Misty Malarky

    "The vandals spray-painted anti-gay slurs on Addison’s car because he is gay"

    Sounds like their lawyer's and their relatives' argument in their defense.

  • This story could only be cooler if it featured Ralph Spoilsport Motors, here in the city of EM-physema

    • Fully equipped with factory air conditioning from our fully factory air conditioned factory.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Where if you don't the money down we'll loan you the money down!

  • Hera Sent Me

    It makes me smile.

  • humpback

    Should make it really easy for the vandals to locate.

  • gullywompr

    Next these liberals will want to create a new agency to hand out auto repairs to gheyz! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!1!

  • BZ1

    What did Chick-fil-A offer?

  • Callyson

    OT alert:

    Mitt Romney's $250 million fortune is largely a black hole: Aside from the meager and vague disclosures he has filed under federal and Massachusetts laws, and the two years of partial tax returns (one filed and another provisional) he has released, there is almost no data on precisely what his vast holdings consist of, or what vehicles he has used to escape taxes on his income. Gawker has obtained a massive cache of confidential financial documents that shed a great deal of light on those finances, and on the tax-dodging tricks available to the hyper-rich that he has used to keep his effective tax rate at roughly 13% over the last decade.


  • Weenus299

    God almighty. "Thanks," a bunch.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    But is it good in snow?

  • rockyoumonkeys

    I'd be paranoid to even drive that thing after that. Because it's gonna get vandalized again. You know it is. The ignorant pricks who did it the first four times would see that as a CHALLENGE.

  • tessiee

    But this doesn't address the REAL problem, which is that Christians are persecuted and discriminated against, which you can tell by all the times cars with Jebus fish and bumper stickers get vandalized, which is never.

    • LakeLucilleLoon

      My favorite christian auto expressionism is the little "sticker families" that they put on their back windows to advertise their fecundity. I always wanted to put two Moms, one Dad, 10 dogs and 20 cats on my window….that would get people talking!

      • Fare la Volpe

        My dad's business does vehicle lettering, and while he had never done those stickers before, he did do a custom order for a friend: he wanted the dad to have two heads and no arms, the mom to have an octopus for a face, and the children to all have horns and devil wings.

        • TribecaMike

          I saw one of those the other day in North Carolina with the three kids replaced by Grateful Dead bears.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I knew a guy who had "Fag" painted onto the back of his car and had a pretty good idea which neighbor had been responsible, so he photographed himself leaning down next to the slur, smiling and giving a thumbs up, and mailed the photo to the neighbor. Problem solved.

    • SnarkOff

      Please tell me he was wearing chaps.

  • comrad_darkness

    Let me guess the vandals went to confession, got their souls all scrubbed, then went and vandalized it again.

    Lather Rinse Repeat.

  • tessiee

    'keyed “dyke” into his car"

    If only they'd double-checked with the Palins first.

  • Ten large adds a really boss stereo system, tinted windows, and I hope a state of the art, kick-ass, security camera system with night vision capabilities and direct computer feed. Let the dycks doing the damage pay for it.

  • barto

    My ship of love is ready to attack!

    • doloras

      Yeah, I kind of think 2012 is The Year Of The Plague.

  • owhatever

    It still looks silly.

  • TribecaMike

    Way to befuddle the Dykes on Bikes, "good samaritans"!

  • ILLinIL

    The story is way funnier with "dyke" keyed into the car but in actually, the kid had "die" keyed into his car. Diekeyed

  • Aw, that is SO SWEET! (sniff!)

  • ttommyunger

    "Dyke", for a guy? Amazing. Brings to mind the recent hate email Stephanie Miller got referring to her as a "Kunt".

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