DON'T GET USED TO IT  11:55 am August 23, 2012

Your Morning Nice Time Post: Roanoke Car Dealer Does Not Douche On Gay Person

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Uh, thanks?Now that we have had our fill of sheriffs who want to murder abortionists and hurricanes who want to murder me, here is a nice story from Edge on the Net, about a gay college kid who keeps getting his car vandalized by good Christian (presumably) folk, who among other things (and because they are brain surgeons) keyed “dyke” into his car.

Jordan Addison’s car had been vandalized four times between March and May. The vandals spray-painted anti-gay slurs on Addison’s car because he is gay and someone even keyed the word “dyke” into the side of the Radford University student’s car.

Despite Addison’s best efforts, he could not remove the homophobic epithets from his vehicle and the lowest estimate he received to clean the car was $2,500 — a price he could not afford.

When Richard Henegar, the manager of Quality Auto Paint and Body, heard what happened to the young man he insisted that he help out.

“Once I saw the vandalism that was done to it, I said ’that’s uncalled for. We’re gonna fix your car.’ That’s the least we can do,” he said.

Turned out it actually was the least they could do, as a whole bunch of businesses then got together and totally pimped Addison’s ride, Logo-styley, adding an extra 10 large in window tintings and a super-boss hi-fi system, which is really really nice of everybody in Roanoke! But maybe don’t gay-bash your own car in hopes of a proper pimpin’ because they probably already shot their wad.

Also, One Million Moms? You should probably start planning your boycott right about now, so you can quickly declare victory and go home.

[EdgeontheNet]

 
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{ 124 comments }

Gratuitous World August 23, 2012 at 11:59 am

and it's wind-powered!

larrykat August 23, 2012 at 12:28 pm

That's so gay.

ChillBill August 23, 2012 at 11:59 am

Does Dr.Zoom's "Vald the Impala" still need some fixin'?

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 12:13 pm

That dykemobile?

Crank_Tango August 23, 2012 at 12:57 pm

it's a real pussywagon.

freakishlywrong August 23, 2012 at 12:01 pm

That thing is screaming for TrukNutz™

Mumbletypeg August 23, 2012 at 12:05 pm

As surely as I go screaming *from* them, yes, yes it is.

Estproph August 23, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Nothing says Christian like keying a car because someone is gay…

Maman August 23, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I am thinking Xtian fish logo on car people at that. You know, the folks that cut you off on the expressway

ChillBill August 23, 2012 at 12:34 pm

You noticed that too, uh? Those small-minded, self-repressed little cunts are always the rudest drivers on the road.

MissTaken August 23, 2012 at 12:08 pm

What Would Jesus Key?

ChillBill August 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Hummers and Corvettes.

CindynEncinitas August 23, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Keyin' for Jeebus!

CommieLibunatic August 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm

The victim is male? The least these cross-wavers can do is use the correct slur. Fuckin' wannabes.

Beowoof August 23, 2012 at 1:49 pm

That would imply working brain cells, which the evidence clearly demonstrates they are sorely lacking.

Oblios_Cap August 23, 2012 at 12:02 pm

There are actually still decent people in this country. Just not enough of them.

Lascauxcaveman August 23, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Maybe more than you think. It's like we're all living in one big reality teevee show; the assholes just get all the airtime. Nice people are generally to boring to notice.

UW8316154 August 23, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I just hope they vote.

CommieLibunatic August 23, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I maybe nice(-ish) and non-confrontational, but rest assured that I will hit that button in the voting booth with a liberal name next to it like the fist of an angry god.

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Isn't it convenient that our friends in the Republican party make it so easy to decide by being such blazing fucktards, in public, and all the time?

sewollef August 23, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Actually, I think these businesses went above and beyond merely being decent people. Which for me is an even nicer thing to do.

Question: Is that car legal or lawful to drive on our roads? Apparently I just read on the internets that there's a difference.

Just askin'….

Terry August 23, 2012 at 12:44 pm

There are lots of them, they're just not as loud as the asswipes and the lunatics.

freakishlywrong August 23, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Oh, and Becca, Google "Tropical Storm Joyce".

commiegirl99 August 23, 2012 at 4:34 pm

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME.

Serolf_Divad August 23, 2012 at 12:03 pm

In Virginia, no less! Awesome, now let's see if we can get Sharon Bottoms custody of her kid.

bibliotequetress August 23, 2012 at 2:48 pm

In Appalachia, no less!

Schmannnity August 23, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I guess Mitt has now lost Virginia.

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Not so fast. Roanoke is a liberal oasis in the heart of hillbilly country.

gullywompr August 23, 2012 at 12:27 pm

It is, but there are some cool hillbillies in the vicinity. Check out Floyd County, which honest-to-god has but one stop light, in "downtown" Floyd, and is populated by farmers, businessfolk, and hippies. But yeah, it's a red area, save for Roanoke and Montgomery county (where VA Tech is).

sullivanst August 23, 2012 at 12:27 pm

It's gonna be close, but RCP's poll average currently has Barack ahead by a (probably not statistically significant) whisker

gullywompr August 23, 2012 at 12:39 pm

He will carry it based on the populations of Northern Virginia, Roanoke, the bedroom communities south of DC along I-95, and oddly enough Richmond and parts of Tidewater. Nate Silver gives 63% chance of an Obama win.

It's amazing how much of winning presidential elections comes down to just a few counties in the entire nation.

SoBeach August 23, 2012 at 12:05 pm

… a whole bunch of businesses then got together and totally pimped Addison’s ride…

Nice. Wonder if they gave him a Calvin pissing on Pat Robertson sticker for his rear window.

PubOption August 23, 2012 at 1:32 pm

John Calvin?

PsycWench August 23, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Then Addison drove slowly by Crumb and Get It and honked really loudly.

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 1:43 pm

V. good.

JustPixelz August 23, 2012 at 12:06 pm

God moved their hearts to help a fellow human being.

I am inspired. I will chip in for the cost to remove a Confederate traitor flag from some poor redneck's car.

Lascauxcaveman August 23, 2012 at 12:21 pm

No need to take it off, just plaster a big one of these over it.

It'd be real cathartic to buy a case of those and just apply them on top of every dumb redneck's freedom of expression you see.

viennawoods13 August 23, 2012 at 12:36 pm

I want me one of those!!

One_who_wanders August 23, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Who are you and what have you done with Rebecca?

elviouslyqueer August 23, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Silly Christians! Everyone knows that dykes only drive Subarus or beat-up Ford F-150s.

widestanceromance August 23, 2012 at 12:28 pm

I once read that they often seem to be held together by bumper stickers. That said, I drive a Forester, with not a single sticker on it so I don't get legitimately keyed.

UW8316154 August 23, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Don't forget the Golden Retriever!

mavenmaven August 23, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Oh no, in LA its Toyota Rav4s.

Lot_49 August 23, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Is that ultra-donked K-car really the kid's ride? Cuz it's awesome!

Wonder where you keep the stepladder to get in and out.

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Wait until it needs new tires. Jordan is going to have to pimp himself out to half of the county in order to afford them.

Terry August 23, 2012 at 12:48 pm

That's not his car in the photo. I followed the links to a VA tv station and watched the video. His car is a forest green VW with black rims. It looks AWESOME.
http://www.wdbj7.com/news/wdbj7-roanoke-auto-shop

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Don't get me wrong; I think this is great, but watch the incidence of any and all green VWs with Virginia plates getting keyed, tires slashed, etc.

SoBeach August 23, 2012 at 1:53 pm

That's not what I'd consider "pimped out". It looks flawless. And the kid doesn't look like someone who would shake everyone else's windows with that 1100 watt sound system at stoplights, either.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Look in the tunk.

Lascauxcaveman August 23, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I think that might actually be a late 80s Buick Riviera. A fairly high-status ride among the droppers and donkers. Anyway, I wouldn't say K-car to guy that built it.

boobookitteh August 23, 2012 at 12:09 pm

I just found out that some of my co-workers at my federally funded place of employment that recieves Medicare and Medicaid reimbursement are either going to vote for Romney or are seriously considering it.

You're going to have to do a hell of a lot better than pimping out a gay kid's ride to lift my mood today.

As a side note, while twittering this, I initially made the typo "Romney/aryan". So that was amusing.

freakishlywrong August 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Good. I hope they lose it. Unfortunately, we have to live with our idiot fellow citizen's utter ignorance.

bibliotequetress August 23, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Don't think that was a typo.

fuflans August 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm

man i hope you busted them but good.

SorosBot August 23, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Ah, good old Christians; once again proving that they're the most hateful, nasty and just plain immoral people in America.

Mumbletypeg August 23, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Yeah! whereas those Muslims? too busy bowing and praying as regularly scheduled and setting up good schools and minding special diet to distinguish themselves. Never getting any righteous-outrage hours clocked in or public harassment points scored! Brothers of Allah better get crackin if they wanna edge out their Xtian forerunners in the, uh, notoriety department~

Blueb4sinrise August 23, 2012 at 12:09 pm

I know good people who went to Radford. 'Çourse, that was thirty years ago.

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

My daughter grah-gee-ated Roanoke College a couple years ago. Nice town.

PsycWench August 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Did she take any psych courses?

chicken_thief August 23, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Probably 101 only. Did you teach it/attend there also, too?

PsycWench August 23, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Yes, I taught it every semester for a while. It's a fun class to teach.
Be glad her graduation was a couple years ago. The 2012 speaker was either way hung over or high as a kite.

gullywompr August 23, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Us Hokies used to mack on the Radford girls. Yes, thirty years ago. I'm quite certain absolutely none of that sort of untoward behavior takes place these days.

Blueb4sinrise August 23, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Ya know, now that you mention it, he did go to VT, she went to Radford.

gullywompr August 23, 2012 at 1:11 pm

And there you have it.

MissTaken August 23, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Yay humanity!

b[redact]opple August 23, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I had a Lesbian gym teacher in high school who'd graduated from Radford. She was pretty cool. That's the only thing I know about Radford.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 23, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I grew up in a small town and took a body shaping class from a guy with a Tom from Finland mustache who played Blur, Girls & Boys during workouts. It was years later, after I had lived in a real city, that I realized how gay the whole thing was. Dude was brave.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Errrr, "dyke"? "He"?

Look, if you're going to hate someone, at least make an effort.

sullivanst August 23, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Homophobic slurs, how do they work?

eggsacklywright August 23, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Like magnets.

hagajim August 23, 2012 at 12:48 pm

They didn't know how to spell fag.

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 12:13 pm

OT: But I want to trick out my 12 year old Pathfinder (paid for) with over the top Obama stickers (or, maybe a wrap). Then put a webcam in it. Then, park it overnight in a known Romney supporting neighborhood just to see what cool web images I get as the fuckers vandalize it.

Could make a cool YouTube, don't ya think?

johnnyzhivago August 23, 2012 at 12:16 pm

You need to put some gigantic Obama graphics in the windows on one side and then "Everything I need to know about Islam I learned on 9/11" graphics on the other side. Then get video of people's heads exploding.

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Oh, I like the way you think. I can imagine the video I get could be used on True Blood for a new "vampire true death" FX.

Redrighthand August 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

And I quote from the Galatians 5:20 – And the pharisees demanded that the goodly go out among the people of the city, and key all the homo's cars, for they and their whips are abomination.

There, Biblical justification.

WhatTheHeck August 23, 2012 at 12:14 pm

What would Jesus drive?
I suspect it would be a big-ass SUV so as to get all his male companions seated close to him as they went cruising.

Jus_Wonderin August 23, 2012 at 12:34 pm

You know he has to have a "God is my Co-pilot" bumper sticker. Or, would that be "Me is my Co-pilot"?

OneDollarJuana August 23, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Jesus would drive one of those little '60s sports cars that go on water as well as land.

Or a food truck that serves fish sandwiches.

MosesInvests August 23, 2012 at 12:15 pm

DYKE? Really?! I thought trailer trash knew how to spell FAGIT. Sheesh. But good on that bodyshop guy.

SayItWithWookies August 23, 2012 at 12:15 pm

My local news said the word was "dye" — either way, a great lack of awareness is evinced. Roanoke is a funny place — a bastion of staid but placid conservatism in the sea of hickish insanity that is western Virginia. A friend of mine went to Wyse College (now UVA West or something) and said he was routinely menaced and threatened because he had long hair. It doesn't take much.

NorthStarSpanx August 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Maybe they meant "Hey, Obama, use this as a Dyke against the next oil spill, since we need to keep progressing the American economy and the umbrella of competitive job creation so we aren't so dependent on those places that perhaps want to see us destroyed by our thirsty market for that fungible commodity where the scientists flag that molecule and we all love the smell of emissions in the morning."

Where you see forced vandalism, I see legitimate patriotism.

sewollef August 23, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I think the kid drove a compact.

So that's why they shortened it to simply 'dyke'. Now if he'd driven a Hummer….

thurufally August 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm

"The best part," Addison added, "is that these rims are like wheel toys for my gerbils."

cromiller August 23, 2012 at 12:30 pm

I see what you did there.

RadioBowels August 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I heard that when the car was being vandalized the gas lines shut off.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 12:24 pm

Good thing, too, or there'd be a litter of Mini Coopers running around on teh welfare.

UnholyMoses August 23, 2012 at 12:36 pm

But only if it's legit vandalizing.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 23, 2012 at 12:45 pm

His car was totally asking for it.

eggsacklywright August 23, 2012 at 12:47 pm

Wasn't even wearing fender skirts.

RadioBowels August 23, 2012 at 3:18 pm

It didn't have a front end bra either.

Wadisay August 23, 2012 at 12:27 pm

I'm glad that Mr. Addison did not hold his breath waiting for Chick-Fil-A to step up.

RedneckMuslin August 23, 2012 at 12:33 pm

"and a super-boss hi-fi system"
Can you play, "It's Raining Men" loud enough to make the trunk vibrate?

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Only if she's freed herself from the leg irons

eggsacklywright August 23, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Not just the trunk – the boobies, too.

Misty Malarky August 23, 2012 at 12:39 pm

"The vandals spray-painted anti-gay slurs on Addison’s car because he is gay"

Sounds like their lawyer's and their relatives' argument in their defense.

actor212 August 23, 2012 at 12:42 pm

This story could only be cooler if it featured Ralph Spoilsport Motors, here in the city of EM-physema

FlownOver August 23, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Fully equipped with factory air conditioning from our fully factory air conditioned factory.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 23, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Where if you don't the money down we'll loan you the money down!

Hera Sent Me August 23, 2012 at 12:42 pm

It makes me smile.

humpback August 23, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Should make it really easy for the vandals to locate.

gullywompr August 23, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Next these liberals will want to create a new agency to hand out auto repairs to gheyz! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!1!

BZ1 August 23, 2012 at 1:03 pm

What did Chick-fil-A offer?

Callyson August 23, 2012 at 1:10 pm

OT alert:

Mitt Romney's $250 million fortune is largely a black hole: Aside from the meager and vague disclosures he has filed under federal and Massachusetts laws, and the two years of partial tax returns (one filed and another provisional) he has released, there is almost no data on precisely what his vast holdings consist of, or what vehicles he has used to escape taxes on his income. Gawker has obtained a massive cache of confidential financial documents that shed a great deal of light on those finances, and on the tax-dodging tricks available to the hyper-rich that he has used to keep his effective tax rate at roughly 13% over the last decade.

http://gawker.com/5936394

BRB…

Weenus299 August 23, 2012 at 1:16 pm

God almighty. "Thanks," a bunch.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 23, 2012 at 1:26 pm

But is it good in snow?

rockyoumonkeys August 23, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I'd be paranoid to even drive that thing after that. Because it's gonna get vandalized again. You know it is. The ignorant pricks who did it the first four times would see that as a CHALLENGE.

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 1:33 pm

But this doesn't address the REAL problem, which is that Christians are persecuted and discriminated against, which you can tell by all the times cars with Jebus fish and bumper stickers get vandalized, which is never.

LakeLucilleLoon August 23, 2012 at 2:50 pm

My favorite christian auto expressionism is the little "sticker families" that they put on their back windows to advertise their fecundity. I always wanted to put two Moms, one Dad, 10 dogs and 20 cats on my window….that would get people talking!

Fare la Volpe August 23, 2012 at 3:05 pm

My dad's business does vehicle lettering, and while he had never done those stickers before, he did do a custom order for a friend: he wanted the dad to have two heads and no arms, the mom to have an octopus for a face, and the children to all have horns and devil wings.

TribecaMike August 23, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I saw one of those the other day in North Carolina with the three kids replaced by Grateful Dead bears.

OneYieldRegular August 23, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I knew a guy who had "Fag" painted onto the back of his car and had a pretty good idea which neighbor had been responsible, so he photographed himself leaning down next to the slur, smiling and giving a thumbs up, and mailed the photo to the neighbor. Problem solved.

SnarkOff August 23, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Please tell me he was wearing chaps.

comrad_darkness August 23, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Let me guess the vandals went to confession, got their souls all scrubbed, then went and vandalized it again.

Lather Rinse Repeat.

tessiee August 23, 2012 at 1:50 pm

'keyed “dyke” into his car"

If only they'd double-checked with the Palins first.

Jeri 2.0 August 23, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Ten large adds a really boss stereo system, tinted windows, and I hope a state of the art, kick-ass, security camera system with night vision capabilities and direct computer feed. Let the dycks doing the damage pay for it.

barto August 23, 2012 at 1:57 pm

My ship of love is ready to attack!

doloras August 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Yeah, I kind of think 2012 is The Year Of The Plague.

owhatever August 23, 2012 at 2:45 pm

It still looks silly.

TribecaMike August 23, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Way to befuddle the Dykes on Bikes, "good samaritans"!

ILLinIL August 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

The story is way funnier with "dyke" keyed into the car but in actually, the kid had "die" keyed into his car. Diekeyed

MittBorg August 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Aw, that is SO SWEET! (sniff!)

ttommyunger August 23, 2012 at 10:21 pm

"Dyke", for a guy? Amazing. Brings to mind the recent hate email Stephanie Miller got referring to her as a "Kunt".

chicken_thief August 24, 2012 at 10:52 am

Confirmed with over-achieving daughter – she did take 101. Loved it! Her professor had a name change – married? Divorced? Whim? That you? I've tried to come up with a hint as to who my daughter is so you would know without telling the world who she is – is highly decorated 2011 grad who worked as a paid adviser to the Orientation Committee during her senior year enough?

PsycWench August 24, 2012 at 11:34 am

That wasn't me but I know who the professor is. She's a good friend. I'll have to look at the commencement program to figure out who your over-achieving daughter is, but congrats…you know Roanoke College has been cited a couple of times as a tough grading school.

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