Here are Barack Obama and Mitt Romney made of beef jerky.
Well well well, look who is a wit, Adweek!
Jack Link’s and ad agency Carmichael Lynch commissioned mosaic artist Jason Mecier to serve up portraits of both men created from 50 bags of beef jerky each. Now, why didn’t Fox News think of that? This was a big-tent effort, with Jack’s entire line—Sweet & Hot, Original Smokehouse, Turkey Jerky—getting in on the act. The president of the United States is referred to as Barack Obameat, while his Republican challenger is Meat Romney. (Jack Link’s lucked out, because Beef Gingrich just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Jerk Santorum, however, sounds just about right.)
Haha, Jerk Santorum. Anyway, think of some jokes please, because right now your Editrix has got none as she is still freaking out about how she will get to Tampa to be murdered by the weather, since planes will probably not fly into a hurricane, and her mother thinks she should rent a car and drive down there from Charlotte, because apparently her mother does not love her.
Barack Obameat. You can do better.
[Adweek]
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Barack's Tucked Jerky?
Messin' with Mitt.
I wanna have sex with this comment.
I'd like a dress made out of Meat Romney fer sure.
Suggested meat: 100% turkey jerky–a perfect Mitt match of turkiness with jerkiness.
Too spicy.
It puts the ketchup on its skin….
Or else it gets the dehydration again.
Woodworth and Brillstein's All the President's Meat.
Mitt: Pretenderloins
I tip my hat to this creation.
Come on, Editrix, where's your sense of adventure? It's just a little rain. And wind. A bit of wind. Don't go surfing and you'll be fine.
Oh, and don't use the elevators in case the power fails. Wouldn't want any republicans testing any rape pregnancy theories out on you.
Yeah, no worries.
Also, Editrix, there will be six reporters for every delegate at the convention.
In the event of a Katrina-style disaster, in other words, you won't run out of food.
You probably have never seen how much a reporter can eat when its free.
Then you jump the pre-fattened reporters.
My family went to Florida this summer during a tropical storm. It was fine. Though the volleyball local (convention center) leaked.
A good hotel will have emergency lighting. If the power goes out, you can find your way down to the bar where the beer will be free if you help a little with the mops and buckets. I speak from experience.
The beer's also free if they're looking the other way. I speak from, er, not experience.
What I can say from experience is don't park under any tree which looks like it might fall over, which is basically any tree.
Barry looks good enough to eat. Not the other one though.
Barack Holstein Obama?
Is there anything for Todd Akin?
Babyback Fibs
Seasoned with rapeseed oil
(I've waited all week to use "rapeseed")
It has ways of shutting down when you try to eat it.
I wouldn't think Beef Jerky would be dense enough to properly represent Mitt Romney's head?
Great. Now I'm hungry.
Only Romney's portrait was made of pure jerk and no beef.
Romney: Etch-A-Jerk
Marcus Bachmann ate both before I could think of a proper caption. :(
Chris Christie is healous jealous.
Where's the beef? Oh.
I prefer dark meat.
Bammy: "What are you looking at, jerk"?
A hurricane is on its way to ruin the Republican Convention in Tampa? Good. I hope they take it as a sign God is not a Republican.
This is the closest Mitt Romney has come to being a man of substance.
Romney: "Step into a flip-flop!"
Obama: "Marbled — for your pleasure"
Fun Fact: Beef Jerky Rick Perry is indistinguishable from the real thing.
Would a Beef Jerky Chris Christie eat himself?
Think about that the next time you're high.
I'd rather not, as that is a terrifying mental image, and jerky is one of my go-to munchies foods.
I don't really have a caption, but I am sure the "serving size" is considerably different on each package.
Obama: "Spicy"
Mitt: "Dicey"
Mitt Romney- the Other, Other white meat?
"Haha, Jerk Santorum. Anyway, think of some jokes please, because right now your Editrix has got none as she is still freaking out about how she will get to Tampa to be murdered by the weather, since planes will probably not fly into a hurricane, and her mother thinks she should rent a car and drive down there from Charlotte, because apparently her mother does not love her."
Fly in early, if you can.
Otherwise, fly into Jacksonville, Atlanta, Panama City, Tallahassee, Pensacola, etc, and rent your car there.
I'm wondering what kind of albino cow was sacrificed to make the teeth on both of these portraits.
A turkey cow.
Wow, you're an optimist.
I thought they used the fat for the white part of the teeth.
You'll notice Ann Romney is never photographed from the waist down.
Bammerz: A balanced combination of white meat and dark meat.
As a beef eater I must protest. I have now lost mine appetite.
"Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of Mitt."
WINNER!!
So much for sacred cows in this election.
I guess it's not really surprising that the beef jerky Mitt Romney looks more human and relatable than the real thing.
Cue the soundtrack from The Good, the Bad and the Jerky.
I don't like Mitt Romney
Neither does anybody else.
Barack Obama – The Audacity of Dried Meat
Meats from my Father?
This is the perfect medium for the Speaker of the House: sort of orangish and leathery.
And Jan Brewer too, also!
One's Kobe Beef, the other's a Boston Butt. Guess which is which.
Not to quibble, but shouldn't Mitt's "jerk-portrait" have 2 faces?
You can do better.
Chew we can believe in?
Jerk Romney is kind of redundant.
Is this contest a jerk-off?
What, Jan Brewer was too easy?
Smokey and the Bland-it.
Barack Obamchaw?
They were going to make a mold of that fat fuck Chris Christie too, but when he went there to pose, he eated all the jerky, and all of the employees, too.
(Don't hate me, I know it was low-hanging fruit, it's just that any discussion about giant piles of jerked meat should def. include that fat fuck.)
The "real" Mitt has more jerk in him.
Yes, but is it art?
Flank steak and skank steak.
Chuck steak and…
Fuck stick?
WHERE'S THE BEEF CERTIFICATE???
Romney should have been made out of colons.
Beef Obama. It's what's for President.
❤
You are having too much fun with this one – I love it.
Sweet Honey and the Stupid as a Rock
One of them MUST be the face of Jesus, but I'm torn as to which…
"Where's the dextrose, salt, corn protein, sodium nitrate, protein, wheat protein, hydrolyzed soy, lactic acid starter culture, mechanically separated chicken and beef?"
So these two cows are talking.
The first cow says, "Aren't you worried about mad cow disease?"
The second cow says, "Why should I worry? I'm a helicopter."
I remember the feminist version of this, from like Barnard at the time of the original outbreak:
Why aren't men afraid of mad cow disease?
Because men are pigs.
If call center workers in India riot because of this sacrilege, will Romney stand in front of the armored personnel carriers?
say… where is that Rafalca horse anyways?
Barry could be Carnivore More Years.
You can't beat Obama's meat.
Grass-fed beef is higher quality.
Mitt is Murder
Pretty sure the guy on the left is Tiger Woods.
The full name is Barack PROTEIN Obameat…
Mitt used to be protein, but now he's against it.
Obie's marinated in beer stock
Mitt's: not so much
The only difference is that Rommey's jerky is loaded with rat poison to increase corporate PROFITS…
Without a doubt, the finest beef jerky portraits I have ever seen. Sadly, I get nauseous just looking at them.
I'm very curious as to which flavor of jerky makes up the white teeth.
I am SO tiered of receiving this election campaign spam.
i'm just going to keep asking if it's november yet until it's actually november.
I guess Obamaloney was already taken.
President should have been done in morcilla, & "I spent Viet Nam in France" Mittens should have been chicken.
Where's the Beef? Michelle smiles slyly. Ann looks puzzled.
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