jerky boys

Caption Contest! The President’s Meat

SLIM JIM!
Here are Barack Obama and Mitt Romney made of beef jerky.

Well well well, look who is a wit, Adweek!

Jack Link’s and ad agency Carmichael Lynch commissioned mosaic artist Jason Mecier to serve up portraits of both men created from 50 bags of beef jerky each. Now, why didn’t Fox News think of that? This was a big-tent effort, with Jack’s entire line—Sweet & Hot, Original Smokehouse, Turkey Jerky—getting in on the act. The president of the United States is referred to as Barack Obameat, while his Republican challenger is Meat Romney. (Jack Link’s lucked out, because Beef Gingrich just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Jerk Santorum, however, sounds just about right.)

Haha, Jerk Santorum. Anyway, think of some jokes please, because right now your Editrix has got none as she is still freaking out about how she will get to Tampa to be murdered by the weather, since planes will probably not fly into a hurricane, and her mother thinks she should rent a car and drive down there from Charlotte, because apparently her mother does not love her.

Barack Obameat. You can do better.

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[Adweek]

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100 comments

  1. comrad_darkness

    Come on, Editrix, where's your sense of adventure? It's just a little rain. And wind. A bit of wind. Don't go surfing and you'll be fine.

    Oh, and don't use the elevators in case the power fails. Wouldn't want any republicans testing any rape pregnancy theories out on you.

    Yeah, no worries.

    1. actor212

      Also, Editrix, there will be six reporters for every delegate at the convention.

      In the event of a Katrina-style disaster, in other words, you won't run out of food.

    2. Maman

      My family went to Florida this summer during a tropical storm. It was fine. Though the volleyball local (convention center) leaked.

    3. GeorgiaBurning

      A good hotel will have emergency lighting. If the power goes out, you can find your way down to the bar where the beer will be free if you help a little with the mops and buckets. I speak from experience.

      1. Mahousu

        The beer's also free if they're looking the other way. I speak from, er, not experience.

        What I can say from experience is don't park under any tree which looks like it might fall over, which is basically any tree.

  2. pinkocommi

    A hurricane is on its way to ruin the Republican Convention in Tampa? Good. I hope they take it as a sign God is not a Republican.

  3. Jus_Wonderin

    I don't really have a caption, but I am sure the "serving size" is considerably different on each package.

  4. Terry

    "Haha, Jerk Santorum. Anyway, think of some jokes please, because right now your Editrix has got none as she is still freaking out about how she will get to Tampa to be murdered by the weather, since planes will probably not fly into a hurricane, and her mother thinks she should rent a car and drive down there from Charlotte, because apparently her mother does not love her."

    Fly in early, if you can.

    Otherwise, fly into Jacksonville, Atlanta, Panama City, Tallahassee, Pensacola, etc, and rent your car there.

  5. PsycWench

    I'm wondering what kind of albino cow was sacrificed to make the teeth on both of these portraits.

  6. KathrynSane

    I guess it's not really surprising that the beef jerky Mitt Romney looks more human and relatable than the real thing.

  7. Katydid

    They were going to make a mold of that fat fuck Chris Christie too, but when he went there to pose, he eated all the jerky, and all of the employees, too.

    (Don't hate me, I know it was low-hanging fruit, it's just that any discussion about giant piles of jerked meat should def. include that fat fuck.)

  8. Angry_Marmot

    "Where's the dextrose, salt, corn protein, sodium nitrate, protein, wheat protein, hydrolyzed soy, lactic acid starter culture, mechanically separated chicken and beef?"

  9. tessiee

    So these two cows are talking.
    The first cow says, "Aren't you worried about mad cow disease?"
    The second cow says, "Why should I worry? I'm a helicopter."

    1. mavenmaven

      I remember the feminist version of this, from like Barnard at the time of the original outbreak:
      Why aren't men afraid of mad cow disease?
      Because men are pigs.

  10. Angry_Marmot

    If call center workers in India riot because of this sacrilege, will Romney stand in front of the armored personnel carriers?

  11. DahBoner

    The only difference is that Rommey's jerky is loaded with rat poison to increase corporate PROFITS…

  12. docterry6973

    Without a doubt, the finest beef jerky portraits I have ever seen. Sadly, I get nauseous just looking at them.

  13. horsedreamer_1

    President should have been done in morcilla, & "I spent Viet Nam in France" Mittens should have been chicken.

Comments are closed.