Add to Flipboard Magazine.

Here are Barack Obama and Mitt Romney made of beef jerky.

Well well well, look who is a wit, Adweek!

Jack Link’s and ad agency Carmichael Lynch commissioned mosaic artist Jason Mecier to serve up portraits of both men created from 50 bags of beef jerky each. Now, why didn’t Fox News think of that? This was a big-tent effort, with Jack’s entire line—Sweet & Hot, Original Smokehouse, Turkey Jerky—getting in on the act. The president of the United States is referred to as Barack Obameat, while his Republican challenger is Meat Romney. (Jack Link’s lucked out, because Beef Gingrich just doesn’t have the same ring to it. Jerk Santorum, however, sounds just about right.)

Haha, Jerk Santorum. Anyway, think of some jokes please, because right now your Editrix has got none as she is still freaking out about how she will get to Tampa to be murdered by the weather, since planes will probably not fly into a hurricane, and her mother thinks she should rent a car and drive down there from Charlotte, because apparently her mother does not love her.

Barack Obameat. You can do better.


  • fartknocker

    Barack's Tucked Jerky?

  • Schmannnity

    Messin' with Mitt.

    • actor212

      I wanna have sex with this comment.

  • eggsacklywright

    I'd like a dress made out of Meat Romney fer sure.

    • kittensdontlie

      Suggested meat: 100% turkey jerky–a perfect Mitt match of turkiness with jerkiness.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Too spicy.

    • CthuNHu

      It puts the ketchup on its skin….

      • Designer_Rants

        Or else it gets the dehydration again.

  • eggsacklywright

    Woodworth and Brillstein's All the President's Meat.

  • Barb_

    Mitt: Pretenderloins

    • actor212

      I tip my hat to this creation.

  • comrad_darkness

    Come on, Editrix, where's your sense of adventure? It's just a little rain. And wind. A bit of wind. Don't go surfing and you'll be fine.

    Oh, and don't use the elevators in case the power fails. Wouldn't want any republicans testing any rape pregnancy theories out on you.

    Yeah, no worries.

    • actor212

      Also, Editrix, there will be six reporters for every delegate at the convention.

      In the event of a Katrina-style disaster, in other words, you won't run out of food.

      • James Michael Curley

        You probably have never seen how much a reporter can eat when its free.

        • actor212

          Then you jump the pre-fattened reporters.

    • Maman

      My family went to Florida this summer during a tropical storm. It was fine. Though the volleyball local (convention center) leaked.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      A good hotel will have emergency lighting. If the power goes out, you can find your way down to the bar where the beer will be free if you help a little with the mops and buckets. I speak from experience.

      • Mahousu

        The beer's also free if they're looking the other way. I speak from, er, not experience.

        What I can say from experience is don't park under any tree which looks like it might fall over, which is basically any tree.

  • Bezoar

    Barry looks good enough to eat. Not the other one though.

  • eggsacklywright

    Barack Holstein Obama?

  • Barb_

    Is there anything for Todd Akin?
    Babyback Fibs

    • actor212

      Seasoned with rapeseed oil

      (I've waited all week to use "rapeseed")

    • PsycWench

      It has ways of shutting down when you try to eat it.

  • johnnyzhivago

    I wouldn't think Beef Jerky would be dense enough to properly represent Mitt Romney's head?

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Great. Now I'm hungry.

  • actor212

    Only Romney's portrait was made of pure jerk and no beef.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Romney: Etch-A-Jerk

  • Gratuitous World

    Marcus Bachmann ate both before I could think of a proper caption. :(

    • tessiee

      Chris Christie is healous jealous.

  • politics_nerd

    Where's the beef? Oh.

  • RadioBowels

    I prefer dark meat.

  • freakishlywrong

    Bammy: "What are you looking at, jerk"?

  • pinkocommi

    A hurricane is on its way to ruin the Republican Convention in Tampa? Good. I hope they take it as a sign God is not a Republican.

  • PsycWench

    This is the closest Mitt Romney has come to being a man of substance.

  • Mumbletypeg

    Romney: "Step into a flip-flop!"
    Obama: "Marbled — for your pleasure"

  • Incitefully_Joe

    Fun Fact: Beef Jerky Rick Perry is indistinguishable from the real thing.

    • PsycWench

      Would a Beef Jerky Chris Christie eat himself?
      Think about that the next time you're high.

      • Incitefully_Joe

        I'd rather not, as that is a terrifying mental image, and jerky is one of my go-to munchies foods.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I don't really have a caption, but I am sure the "serving size" is considerably different on each package.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Obama: "Spicy"

    Mitt: "Dicey"

  • LibertyLover

    Mitt Romney- the Other, Other white meat?

  • Terry

    "Haha, Jerk Santorum. Anyway, think of some jokes please, because right now your Editrix has got none as she is still freaking out about how she will get to Tampa to be murdered by the weather, since planes will probably not fly into a hurricane, and her mother thinks she should rent a car and drive down there from Charlotte, because apparently her mother does not love her."

    Fly in early, if you can.

    Otherwise, fly into Jacksonville, Atlanta, Panama City, Tallahassee, Pensacola, etc, and rent your car there.

  • PsycWench

    I'm wondering what kind of albino cow was sacrificed to make the teeth on both of these portraits.

    • Terry

      A turkey cow.

      • tessiee

        Wow, you're an optimist.
        I thought they used the fat for the white part of the teeth.

    • actor212

      You'll notice Ann Romney is never photographed from the waist down.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Bammerz: A balanced combination of white meat and dark meat.

  • hagajim

    As a beef eater I must protest. I have now lost mine appetite.

  • freakishlywrong

    "Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of Mitt."

    • kittensdontlie


  • ShreditorsDesk

    So much for sacred cows in this election.

  • KathrynSane

    I guess it's not really surprising that the beef jerky Mitt Romney looks more human and relatable than the real thing.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Cue the soundtrack from The Good, the Bad and the Jerky.

  • DerrickWildcat

    I don't like Mitt Romney

    • tessiee

      Neither does anybody else.

  • LibertyLover

    Barack Obama – The Audacity of Dried Meat

    • KathrynSane

      Meats from my Father?

  • PsycWench

    This is the perfect medium for the Speaker of the House: sort of orangish and leathery.

    • viennawoods13

      And Jan Brewer too, also!

  • Oblios_Cap

    One's Kobe Beef, the other's a Boston Butt. Guess which is which.

  • LibertyLover

    Not to quibble, but shouldn't Mitt's "jerk-portrait" have 2 faces?

  • actor212

    You can do better.

    Chew we can believe in?

  • Nibbler of Niblonia

    Jerk Romney is kind of redundant.

  • LibertyLover

    Is this contest a jerk-off?

  • tessiee

    What, Jan Brewer was too easy?

  • smitallica

    Smokey and the Bland-it.

  • hagajim

    Barack Obamchaw?

  • Katydid

    They were going to make a mold of that fat fuck Chris Christie too, but when he went there to pose, he eated all the jerky, and all of the employees, too.

    (Don't hate me, I know it was low-hanging fruit, it's just that any discussion about giant piles of jerked meat should def. include that fat fuck.)

  • ChillBill

    The "real" Mitt has more jerk in him.

  • proudgrampa

    Yes, but is it art?

  • tessiee

    Flank steak and skank steak.
    Chuck steak and…

    • Designer_Rants

      Fuck stick?

  • wakkumph


  • Estproph

    Romney should have been made out of colons.

  • tessiee

    Beef Obama. It's what's for President.

    • Nostrildamus

    • Designer_Rants

      You are having too much fun with this one – I love it.

  • TootsStansbury

    Sweet Honey and the Stupid as a Rock

  • mrblifil

    One of them MUST be the face of Jesus, but I'm torn as to which…

  • Angry_Marmot

    "Where's the dextrose, salt, corn protein, sodium nitrate, protein, wheat protein, hydrolyzed soy, lactic acid starter culture, mechanically separated chicken and beef?"

  • tessiee

    So these two cows are talking.
    The first cow says, "Aren't you worried about mad cow disease?"
    The second cow says, "Why should I worry? I'm a helicopter."

    • mavenmaven

      I remember the feminist version of this, from like Barnard at the time of the original outbreak:
      Why aren't men afraid of mad cow disease?
      Because men are pigs.

  • Angry_Marmot

    If call center workers in India riot because of this sacrilege, will Romney stand in front of the armored personnel carriers?

  • WhatTheHeck

    say… where is that Rafalca horse anyways?

  • Wadisay

    Barry could be Carnivore More Years.

  • Wilcoxyz

    You can't beat Obama's meat.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Grass-fed beef is higher quality.

  • Slytherin76

    Mitt is Murder

  • Designer_Rants

    Pretty sure the guy on the left is Tiger Woods.

  • BklynE

    The full name is Barack PROTEIN Obameat…

  • Wilcoxyz

    Mitt used to be protein, but now he's against it.

  • BZ1

    Obie's marinated in beer stock
    Mitt's: not so much

  • DahBoner

    The only difference is that Rommey's jerky is loaded with rat poison to increase corporate PROFITS…

  • docterry6973

    Without a doubt, the finest beef jerky portraits I have ever seen. Sadly, I get nauseous just looking at them.

    • Designer_Rants

      I'm very curious as to which flavor of jerky makes up the white teeth.


    I am SO tiered of receiving this election campaign spam.

  • fuflans

    i'm just going to keep asking if it's november yet until it's actually november.

  • Aridzona

    I guess Obamaloney was already taken.

  • horsedreamer_1

    President should have been done in morcilla, & "I spent Viet Nam in France" Mittens should have been chicken.

  • ttommyunger

    Where's the Beef? Michelle smiles slyly. Ann looks puzzled.

Previous articleTampa Totally Going To Cancel Republican Convention Just Because Of Tiny Little Act Of God
Next articleNH Sheriff Candidate: The Constitution Demands I Kill Abortion Doctors