Nothing Comes Between Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown And His Calvins
by Rebecca Schoenkopf
Calvins, Jordache, whatever.
The year is 1983. Scott Brown is young and handsome and making $20 thousand for a Jordache commercial, which was the equivalent of $500 million in 1983. That is a lot of money for a jeans commercial! Therefore, he was rich and all the women should want to vote for him except that he has girl babies.
Also, he runs like a girl.
[BlueMassGroup]
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 107 comments }
I still wouldn't.
Jordache sounds kinda French to me. Are those the pants one wears when one wants to eat cheese and be a surrender monkey?
No, those are Capris. Jordache is what you wear if you want Scott Brown to sit on your face.
eating cheese, being a surrender monkey, and trolling for a same sex partner.
Brooke Shields is rolling over in her grave.
or punching tom cruise.
Or rolling over on her Laz-y-boy sofa.
GLORIA VANDERBILT (AND ANDERSON COOPER) LIBEL!
she's not dead yet! I think she's getting better.
Any vintage of Brooke Shields is welcome to roll over me.
"You've got the look, that's all together…you've got the look I want to know better…"
My God, Editrix, why did you make me remember that?! Not cool!!
Workin', playin' day or night, Jordache has the look that's right.
You're welcome.
Cruel bastard.
That's not cruel
o/~ The Jordache looooooooooooooooooook o/~
Now THAT'S cruel!
o/~ The Jordache looooooooooooooooooook o/~
See, that's what *I* remember. Thank you for sharing, so I didn't have to. (oops..)
Ooh, la la!
What? The original one was too embarassing for even YouTube, home of "Ow! My Balls!"?????
The Acting, just like his Statesmanship, is superb.
There is a difference?
He should have stuck to modeling. Honestly.
Honey badger still don't care.
Thanks for the jeans stupid.
See ya later.
Jordache jeans were the perfect training material for the Teabagger anger bears Brown has to deal with today. At first, they felt okay but after a while they'd squeeze if you bent too much then make you go numb and were all too uncomfortably tight around the crotch.
1983? Dude is old now.
OK! We get it! You're young!
No Levis or Wranglers? Why does Scott Brown hate Jews and cowboys?
Jews, I dunno. Cowboys because they have that hole in their stadium.
OMG. My life just flashed before my eyes. Stone washed denim indeed.
Nothing comes between a Republican and his Calvins. And his Roberts, Todds, Juans, and Jimmys. Also.
People sure were out of focus in 1983.
At least we were in color, which is more than you can say for The Greatest Generation!®
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.tu…
It was all the cocaine.
Hang on. I know the Nakash family, the owners of the Jordache label, and they told me decades ago that they only hired gay men for their…
Oh my.
Well, it would explain the Playgirl spread. Never could sort that out.
And it would be irresponsible not to speculate…
Ooh, you hobnob with the Nakash family! Of Jordache. The jeans! Have you heard of them?! Thanks for that tidbit, Dude, we are going to ride you mercilessly now!
I'm not proud. I worked in commercial finance in the 70s. You think you guys are tough, you ought to see the schmatke folks.
I liked him better in the Hi Karate aftershave commercial where he got kicked in the nuts.
oooh my dad wore Hai Karate!
Which you probably bought for him every Father's Day and Christmas, faithfully, right?
Little known secret: no father wore Hai Karate. They survived their kids.
Yeah, they wore Brut.
Didn't they?
Mine wore Old Spice. And, yes, we gave it to him every year for Christmas.
*Back in the day*
Paco Rabanne.
Now you have broken my six-year old heart. :-(
Jordache are chick jeans.
I was thinkin' the same thing…no self-respecting heterosexual guy would have been caught dead in Jordache jeans in 1983.
Well, for 20 grand Brown probably would have done a lot of things back then. God knows he's willing to sell his soul cheap now.
What a Jor-douche.
Did he get off the train for the young lady or was he just showing an early contempt for Amtrak?
Does he have camel toe, fer fuck's sake?
If not, he could borrow Romney's.
I call BS – he was obviously messing with her head. That's the Morristown & Erie tourist RR in NJ – and it only goes like a mile to a beer distributor and an asphalt plant.
Also a big "BOO" from Operation Lifesaver for encouraging people to embrace on active RR tracks.
No points for the Alco RS-1?
Half a point… Good to see another railfan wonketeer….
Yeah, I recognized one of the tribe with the Koch brother western 1:1 scale layout comment the other day.
Well but as far as the parody department? – - to my mind, no one comes between Scott Brown and himself except Jon Hamm.
The hair stylin' is as fresh and modern as the GOP's policies. Actually, more so.
I'd like to see Elizabeth Warren get between him and his Senate seat.
Perfect!
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Honorable Senator Scott Brown.
Uh oh, now they're going to post video of Elizabeth Warren in warpaint as a backup singer for Adam Ant, which I believe she counted as her "Native American heritage."
She really is a Goody Two Shoes.
What's with the crotch fire?
The Calvin's fit a curvy girl's figure better. Just saying.
Now we know why Jordaches went out of style.
Hell with Jordache. Back then I lived in Brittania.
Why did he get off the train? Were there blahs on it?
What, he can't afford two train tickets? Cheapskate.
Fiscal responsibility, that's why.
Say, what's with jerking his pole about when his fish is clearly dead?
And wtf is up with her comrade commie hat?
Does Scott Brown have ties to a soshulis?
Somebody's gotta explain jerkin your pole about at your age?
His first pair of mommy jeans.
You misspelled Romney.
Sassoons and feathered hair or GFTO!
Scott Brown . . . Action . . . Jeans!
Is it just me, or does anyone else have REO Speedwagon's version of "Riding the Storm Out" runnin' through their head right now … ?
i didn't, but i do now.
**insert evil laugh here**
They knew back in '83 that their time at the top of the jean pool was limited, and this is all part of a 29 year long guerrilla marketing campaign to get Jordache back on the shelves, and back on your asses.
Was that a young Michelle Bachmann?
Needz moar close-ups of the chick's ass.
You say 'forcible' I say 'legitimate', let's call the whole thing off.
I'm just glad I never owned any Jordache jeans now.
Are you sure that's a Jordache commercial? Scotty looks like he'd be much more comfortable in Chic jeans.
god a time when we all didn't hate each other.
makes me a little sad, to be honest.
You have a rather selective memory.
well i was a baby.
still, this climate feels more poisonous than any in my living memory.
(tho to be fair, the jeans are a lot better).
I think the Internet amplifies the poison very efficiently, which causes it to increase exponentially.
yes, that is really all i mean. i didn't know what the wingnuts were thinking and i wish i still didn't know what they were thinking.
though to be fair, we wouldn't be having this conversation without it.
If by "we" you mean straight male white people, then maybe. Everyone else was still pretty reviled, Coke commercials and music videos not withstanding.
I prefer this Jordache ad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fULxWhyySX8
Okay, that was strange…
They had me at 0:20.
We laugh, but I bet he got SO MUCH ass back then.
Probably fucked a girl or two, also, as well as….
What does he have against Bell Bottoms, worn by Fabulous US Navy sailirs???
He doesn't run like a girl – he prances like a dressage horse. Too bad Mittens didn't see this before he tapped Raynd.
Raynd – good one!! I've taken to calling Mrs. Mittens "Ayn Rmoney" ever since her 'you people' comment.
Liz, take this poser out!
Wow. The intensity, the raw emotion of that fight on the bleachers- this man is wasting himself on the Senate! He needs to get back to acting!
We used to sneak into Levi's cafeteria on the edge of North Beach for a nice, inexpensive lunch. Sitting down it was easy to notice the employees wore every brand of jeans made.
I thought this was rather stupid. If you make Fords for a living, you sure as Hell don't drive a Honda to work.
I'm glad I was still wearing osh-kosh in 1983.
If you had the same mouth you have today, I'm sure your parents never had a dull moment!
501's or GTFO!
We got our dad handkerchiefs. Because for some unknown reason into the 1970's he still used them as opposed to kleenex.
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