Calvins, Jordache, whatever.

The year is 1983. Scott Brown is young and handsome and making $20 thousand for a Jordache commercial, which was the equivalent of $500 million in 1983. That is a lot of money for a jeans commercial! Therefore, he was rich and all the women should want to vote for him except that he has girl babies.

Also, he runs like a girl.


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  • YouBetcha

    I still wouldn't.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Jordache sounds kinda French to me. Are those the pants one wears when one wants to eat cheese and be a surrender monkey?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      No, those are Capris. Jordache is what you wear if you want Scott Brown to sit on your face.

    • An_Outhouse

      eating cheese, being a surrender monkey, and trolling for a same sex partner.

  • Come here a minute

    Brooke Shields is rolling over in her grave.

    • or punching tom cruise.

    • Terry

      Or rolling over on her Laz-y-boy sofa.


    • Sir_Fartz_Alot

      she's not dead yet! I think she's getting better.

    • Any vintage of Brooke Shields is welcome to roll over me.

  • "You've got the look, that's all together…you've got the look I want to know better…"
    My God, Editrix, why did you make me remember that?! Not cool!!

    • Schmannnity

      Workin', playin' day or night, Jordache has the look that's right.

      You're welcome.

      • Cruel bastard.

        • That's not cruel

          o/~ The Jordache looooooooooooooooooook o/~

          Now THAT'S cruel!

          • o/~ The Jordache looooooooooooooooooook o/~

            See, that's what *I* remember. Thank you for sharing, so I didn't have to. (oops..)

        • not that Dewey
          • What? The original one was too embarassing for even YouTube, home of "Ow! My Balls!"?????

  • NorthStarSpanx

    The Acting, just like his Statesmanship, is superb.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      There is a difference?

  • Terry

    He should have stuck to modeling. Honestly.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Honey badger still don't care.

    • Baconzgood

      Thanks for the jeans stupid.

      • RadioBowels

        See ya later.

  • Jordache jeans were the perfect training material for the Teabagger anger bears Brown has to deal with today. At first, they felt okay but after a while they'd squeeze if you bent too much then make you go numb and were all too uncomfortably tight around the crotch.

  • SorosBot

    1983? Dude is old now.

    • HistoriCat

      OK! We get it! You're young!

  • Schmannnity

    No Levis or Wranglers? Why does Scott Brown hate Jews and cowboys?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Jews, I dunno. Cowboys because they have that hole in their stadium.

  • OMG. My life just flashed before my eyes. Stone washed denim indeed.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Nothing comes between a Republican and his Calvins. And his Roberts, Todds, Juans, and Jimmys. Also.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    People sure were out of focus in 1983.

  • Hang on. I know the Nakash family, the owners of the Jordache label, and they told me decades ago that they only hired gay men for their…

    Oh my.

    Well, it would explain the Playgirl spread. Never could sort that out.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      And it would be irresponsible not to speculate…

    • Ooh, you hobnob with the Nakash family! Of Jordache. The jeans! Have you heard of them?! Thanks for that tidbit, Dude, we are going to ride you mercilessly now!

      • I'm not proud. I worked in commercial finance in the 70s. You think you guys are tough, you ought to see the schmatke folks.

  • coolhandnuke

    I liked him better in the Hi Karate aftershave commercial where he got kicked in the nuts.

    • oooh my dad wore Hai Karate!

      • Which you probably bought for him every Father's Day and Christmas, faithfully, right?

        Little known secret: no father wore Hai Karate. They survived their kids.

        • thatsitfortheother1

          Yeah, they wore Brut.

          Didn't they?

          • Mine wore Old Spice. And, yes, we gave it to him every year for Christmas.

            *Back in the day*

          • viennawoods13

            We got our dad handkerchiefs. Because for some unknown reason into the 1970's he still used them as opposed to kleenex.

          • commiegirl99

            Paco Rabanne.

        • Now you have broken my six-year old heart. :-(

  • Baconzgood

    Jordache are chick jeans.

    • HarryButtle

      I was thinkin' the same thing…no self-respecting heterosexual guy would have been caught dead in Jordache jeans in 1983.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Well, for 20 grand Brown probably would have done a lot of things back then. God knows he's willing to sell his soul cheap now.

  • Not_So_Much

    What a Jor-douche.

  • Goonemeritus

    Did he get off the train for the young lady or was he just showing an early contempt for Amtrak?

  • freakishlywrong

    Does he have camel toe, fer fuck's sake?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      If not, he could borrow Romney's.

  • I call BS – he was obviously messing with her head. That's the Morristown & Erie tourist RR in NJ – and it only goes like a mile to a beer distributor and an asphalt plant.

    Also a big "BOO" from Operation Lifesaver for encouraging people to embrace on active RR tracks.

    • No points for the Alco RS-1?

      • Half a point…   Good to see another railfan wonketeer….

        • Yeah, I recognized one of the tribe with the Koch brother western 1:1 scale layout comment the other day.

  • Well but as far as the parody department? – – to my mind, no one comes between Scott Brown and himself except Jon Hamm.

  • freakishlywrong

    The hair stylin' is as fresh and modern as the GOP's policies. Actually, more so.

  • freakishlywrong

    I'd like to see Elizabeth Warren get between him and his Senate seat.

    • thatsitfortheother1


  • Ladies and Gentlemen, the Honorable Senator Scott Brown.

  • Uh oh, now they're going to post video of Elizabeth Warren in warpaint as a backup singer for Adam Ant, which I believe she counted as her "Native American heritage."

    • BarackMyWorld

      She really is a Goody Two Shoes.

  • Baconzgood

    What's with the crotch fire?

  • The Calvin's fit a curvy girl's figure better. Just saying.

  • Now we know why Jordaches went out of style.

  • Boredw/Gravitas

    Hell with Jordache. Back then I lived in Brittania.

  • Trannysurprise

    Why did he get off the train? Were there blahs on it?

  • What, he can't afford two train tickets? Cheapskate.

    • Fiscal responsibility, that's why.

  • Say, what's with jerking his pole about when his fish is clearly dead?

    • chicken_thief

      And wtf is up with her comrade commie hat?

      Does Scott Brown have ties to a soshulis?

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Somebody's gotta explain jerkin your pole about at your age?

  • RadioBowels

    His first pair of mommy jeans.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      You misspelled Romney.

  • UnholyMoses

    Sassoons and feathered hair or GFTO!

  • not that Dewey

    Scott Brown . . . Action . . . Jeans!

  • UnholyMoses

    Is it just me, or does anyone else have REO Speedwagon's version of "Riding the Storm Out" runnin' through their head right now … ?

    • i didn't, but i do now.

      • UnholyMoses

        **insert evil laugh here**

  • ChernobylSoup

    They knew back in '83 that their time at the top of the jean pool was limited, and this is all part of a 29 year long guerrilla marketing campaign to get Jordache back on the shelves, and back on your asses.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Was that a young Michelle Bachmann?

  • chicken_thief

    Needz moar close-ups of the chick's ass.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    You say 'forcible' I say 'legitimate', let's call the whole thing off.

  • hagajim

    I'm just glad I never owned any Jordache jeans now.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Are you sure that's a Jordache commercial? Scotty looks like he'd be much more comfortable in Chic jeans.

  • god a time when we all didn't hate each other.

    makes me a little sad, to be honest.

    • You have a rather selective memory.

      • well i was a baby.

        still, this climate feels more poisonous than any in my living memory.

        (tho to be fair, the jeans are a lot better).

        • I think the Internet amplifies the poison very efficiently, which causes it to increase exponentially.

          • yes, that is really all i mean. i didn't know what the wingnuts were thinking and i wish i still didn't know what they were thinking.

            though to be fair, we wouldn't be having this conversation without it.

    • BarackMyWorld

      If by "we" you mean straight male white people, then maybe. Everyone else was still pretty reviled, Coke commercials and music videos not withstanding.

  • Arken

    I prefer this Jordache ad.

    • viennawoods13

      Okay, that was strange…

    • Tundra Grifter

      They had me at 0:20.

  • BarackMyWorld

    We laugh, but I bet he got SO MUCH ass back then.

    • ttommyunger

      Probably fucked a girl or two, also, as well as….

  • DahBoner

    What does he have against Bell Bottoms, worn by Fabulous US Navy sailirs???

  • He doesn't run like a girl – he prances like a dressage horse. Too bad Mittens didn't see this before he tapped Raynd.

    • Isyaignert

      Raynd – good one!! I've taken to calling Mrs. Mittens "Ayn Rmoney" ever since her 'you people' comment.

  • BZ1

    Liz, take this poser out!

  • viennawoods13

    Wow. The intensity, the raw emotion of that fight on the bleachers- this man is wasting himself on the Senate! He needs to get back to acting!

  • Tundra Grifter

    We used to sneak into Levi's cafeteria on the edge of North Beach for a nice, inexpensive lunch. Sitting down it was easy to notice the employees wore every brand of jeans made.

    I thought this was rather stupid. If you make Fords for a living, you sure as Hell don't drive a Honda to work.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I'm glad I was still wearing osh-kosh in 1983.

    • If you had the same mouth you have today, I'm sure your parents never had a dull moment!

  • ttommyunger

    501's or GTFO!

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