turning vicious sexual assault into lemonade

Mitt Romney To Nutter Rapey Doctor Last Year: ‘We Agree On Almost Everything’

my name is willke, and i would like up in your vaginaYou may have heard over the past few days of Dr. Jack Willke (because you read Wonkette with slavish devotion), the crazy man who spreads the lie that you can’t get pregnant if you’re goodly and righteously raped. You probably also heard that he was buddy-buddy with Mitt Romney in 2008, because Mitt Romney would do a soccer potluck with Idi Amin and the Tamil Tigers if it got the Family Research Council off his back for a week.

What you may not have heard (JUICY GOSSIPS) is that Romney met up with Willke during the primary in 2011 and sent him a giant love note with his mouth. The talky kind, not the other kind, even though it would have been a lot more supportive. Maybe next time.

Dr Willke told The Daily Telegraph that he did meet Mr Romney during a presidential primary campaign stop in the doctor’s home city of Cincinnati, Ohio, in October last year. Local news reports at the time noted that the candidate held “private meetings” during the visit.

“He told me ‘thank you for your support – we agree on almost everything, and if I am elected President I will make some major pro-life pronouncements’,” Dr Willke said in a telephone interview on Tuesday.

“I thanked him, and said I knew where he was – that he was 99 per cent of what we wanted,” he said of the roughly ten-minute meeting. “I told him I would help in any way I could”. A spokesman for Mr Romney declined to comment.

Unsurprisingly, Dr. Willke thinks that Todd Akin is getting thrown into a dumpster like an unwanted consensual sex baby because he used one single wrong word once.

Dr Willke wrote an open letter on Tuesday declaring that “the pro-life movement and I unequivocally stand with Rep. Akin” despite Mr Romney and several other party heavyweights saying that he must step aside.

“The guy is clean,” he told the Daily Telegraph. “He made one mistake by using the wrong word and the volcano erupted. The powers that be in the Republican party threw this guy overboard”.

Paul Ryan also met with Doc W, and agreed with him, because for some reason the entire Republican Party travels to the doorstep of one crazy man in southwest Ohio and kisses his spastic tube ring.

The doctor said that he had also met Mr Ryan, who sits in Congress for the Wisconsin district in which one of his sons lives, several times. He said that after listening to Dr Willke’s views on abortion during their last encounter, Mr Ryan replied: “That’s where I’m at”.

The real question now is not whether Romney and Ryan still support Dr. Willke’s ideas – they do, of course, and will force children nationwide to learn that lady tubes flex and wiggle uncontrollably during rape, complete with awkward-yet-adorable middle-school song and dance performance – but whether they will reveal their identical “Willke Can Milk Me” back tattoos before Election Night. All signs point to yes.

[Daily Telegraph]

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132 comments

  1. Barb_

    My friend, Darcy re-tweeted this:
    Let me get his straight, so to right wingers, gay sex is unimaginably grotesque, but rape sex and babies produced from it are a "blessing?"

      1. BornInATrailer

        But they should want sons, which would make son-producing rape illegitimate. I'm so confused.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      The known ones (Trump, Arpaio, Koch Bros (who really are Paulites in their hearts), AIPAC, Grover Norquist) are scary enough for me, thanks.

    1. VA_Dreaming

      Good thought, but perhaps it is the conservative brain shuts down before being penetrated by facts or observations that might make it question its own fantasies.

  2. PuckStopsHere

    "Major Pronouncements?" This is the R-Money plan? To make "Major Pronouncements"? Will there also be "deeming"?

    1. Millennial Malaise

      Hear ye, Hear ye, Lord Mittens the II deems life begins two moments after conception and not a moment earlier!

  3. Baconzgood

    "A spokesman for Mr Romney declined to comment…Until he sees a reaction from the general public"

    FIXED.

  4. hagajim

    The R'Money campaign said that the candidate did agree with Dr. Willke, before he disagreed with him, but not to worry, he'll agree with him again as soon as its politically convenient.

  5. Baconzgood

    I just want to point out that he didn't use "one word wrong" but articulated that he thought that a woman couldn't get pregnant if she were rapped.

    HUGE DIFFERENCE.

    1. belmontreport

      I know it was just a typo, but I really am liking the image of a women rapping so that she can't get pregnant. Me rapping would be super embarrassing, but if it prevented pregnancy—count me in!

    2. sullivanst

      And wanted to use this horribly misguided belief as a justification to ban abortion without exception.

      And that in trying to defend himself against the right-wing mischaracterisation of the outrage his initial remarks caused, he accused rape victims of being liars (and in fact criminals).

    3. VA_Dreaming

      If rapping prevents pregnancy Beyonce has some 'spainin to do for Jay Z.
      Sorry, I know its a typo and your point is well taken. Its just my love for bad puns overcoming my good sense.

    4. finette_

      Thank you, that was what I was going to say as well. Do Akin and his dumber pals really believe that this whole thing is just about the word "legitimate"? Or are they just doing the misspoke/one word wrong thing to try to divert public attention away from the utter idiocy of the rest of the statement?

  6. freakishlywrong

    I'm sick and tired of these lunatics obsessing over our lady parts. Seriously, this inane, reckless and frankly embarrassing conversations the wingnuts have dragged in to mainstream discourse is being watched by the the whole fucking world. It's mortifying. Create jawbs assholes, and leave our re-productive rights alone. No means No.

    1. Lot_49

      When I was a lad, the word "rape" never appeared in newspapers. Women were "assaulted." Now they can't quit talking about it, except when they're talking about trans-vaginal ultrasound and other technicalities about sticking things in the ladies—who did it, who gets to do it, whether its "legitimate," etc.

      In general, actual words are better than euphemisms, free speech is better than restricted speech, yes yes, but Jesus Christ, can we talk about jobs for a while? Can Romney explain how removing regulations will magically generate jobs? Or can we discuss growing income inequality, or how the rich want to remove all taxes from every source of their income?

      I'm going away now, to take a few deep breaths. Thank you for letting me vent.

        1. Lot_49

          And keep talking about the Ryan budget's plan to turn Medicare into a gift card system until the Olds realize where their interests lie.

          1. sullivanst

            And keep talking about the job-destroying effects of cutting government spending in a demand-starved economy until working people realize where their interest lie.

          2. AbandonHope_

            Someone here — Chet, I think — said before that we really need to drive home the idea that those vouchers would be "medical stamps", and I think that's brilliant. I'd shorten it to "med stamps" as it really nails home the parallel to food stamps.

            Not that we really need it, though, since NPR was saying a recent poll puts seniors at 6 to 1 against Ryan's med stamp program.

      1. shelwood46

        Yeah, women being forced to have babies against their wills, having probes stuck inside them by government order, being told that their rapes don't count, those things are a distraction. Who cares? And can we stop saying "rape" because it makes some men uncomfortable, please.

        Jesus Christ, I hope you were being sarcastic, because otherwise you're being pretty awful.

  7. ChernobylSoup

    Explains Romney/Ryan's confidence in fixing the economy: They've also joined forces with a noted alchemist.

  8. RadioBowels

    Santorum also visited the esteemed doctor during this time and they discussed the mechanics of the anal sphincter during butt rape.

  9. chicken_thief

    “The guy is clean,”

    Dr Jack – his nickname and I'll let you figure out where it came from, should know since he personally scrubbed Akin down.

  10. Mittens Howell, III

    That Romney. First he's all "Yes! Yes! Yes!!" then he's all "No! No! No!!"

    Man, that guy deserves whatever he gets.

  11. Beowoof

    Facts, never popular with the GOP and they seem to be able to find crackpots who support their obtuse views. More American cranks right up there with some of the folks pointed out in Charlie Pierce's book, Idiot America.

  12. Goonemeritus

    If he is 99% of what crazy people want does that suggest a possible contraindication for the sane voter?

  13. actor212

    “I thanked him, and said I knew where he was – that he was 99 per cent of what we wanted,” he said of the roughly ten-minute meeting.

    Maybe I should try speed-dating. It worked for Willkie!

    1. sullivanst

      When what you want is so limited in scope as it is for "Dr" Willke, 10 minutes is easily enough to make the judgment. I don't know how he gets to 99 percent when the test was out of maybe three. Perhaps he doesn't understand that 33% is rounded?

  14. Texan_Bulldog

    I'd like to see a reporter ask Paul Ryan if one of his precious daughters (I assume he has at least one) got raped & impregnated by a black guy, if that baby would still be a blessing.

  15. sullivanst

    because for some reason the entire Republican Party travels to the doorstep of one crazy man in southwest Ohio and kisses his spastic tube ring.

    Apparently Dr. Willke is a big deal in pro-life circles, and has been for a long time, precisely because of the misogynist garbage to which his apparent medical degree seems to give a veneer of respectability. Also too, hello "research" based on Nazi death-camp experiments!

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Yup! Nothing like a little Nazi experiment testing the ovulation (or, as it turns out, non-ovulation) of STARVING WOMEN to really cement that science into place. This portion of his work is not being discussed widely enough.

      1. sullivanst

        You and I, it seems, had similar reactions to that part of the story: "Yeah, nutrition (or rather, extreme malnutrition) just might have had something to do with that!"

        There are so many other problems with using the death camp "data", it's deeply disturbing, and I'd say entirely discrediting, that anyone actually thought to do so. Also deeply disturbing that it apparently managed to survive peer review. WTF?

        1. anniegetyerfun

          Yes, the fact that Nazi experiments are being quoted as proof of bullshit science is pretty incredible. Then again, if these people are willing to believe non-science ALL THE FUCKING TIME, then they surely don't give a fuck where their false information comes from.Next up on Fox News: Does skull shape indicate intelligence??!

  16. StarsUponThars

    Just look at that ugly fucker sitting in his ugly fucking chair with that ugly fucking smirk on his face. How long has it been since he's actually seen any ladyparts?

  17. Oblios_Cap

    Paul Ryan also met with Doc W, and agreed with him, because for some reason the entire Republican Party travels to the doorstep of one crazy man in southwest Ohio and kisses his spastic tube ring.

    Is tube ring another of the code words that use to appeal to their base?

    The GOP base is:

    base/bās/

    Adjective:

    Without moral principles; ignoble: "the electorate's baser instincts of greed and selfishness".

  18. ThundercatHo

    Learning new stuff is one reason why I slavishly read Wonkette but I don't think I want to know what a "spastic tube ring" is. Also, too all these guys can just go legit fuck themselves with a rusty chainsaw named Votes.

    1. viennawoods13

      A tube ring is what is used to "tie" fallopian tubes these days. So the spasticity of the tubes during a "legitimate" rape would act like a tube ring. I think that's what it means.

  19. fartknocker

    This Dr. explained that the uterus becomes spastic, and supposedly ejects the zygote of the rapist. I'm not a doctor but early in my career at ye old fire department I was a paramedic and I was educated that spasms occurred in muscles. I don't think the uterus is a muscle but I do think this entire theory is utter horseshit. I also believe rape is rape because I treated over 20 of them.

    The scariest part of this discussion is that a certain percentile of voters believe it.

    1. StarsUponThars

      That's the kind of disinformation that occurs when you have home schooling and for-profit Christian charter schools that use textbooks published by Bob Jones University.

    2. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      The uterus is mostly muscle, it's what pushes the babby out. And the "spasms" can be painful. Just ask any woman with menstrual cramps. But that does not change the fact that this guy is full of shit.

    1. weejee

      There are a surprising number of physicians who are in the world is 6,000 years olde and people used to chill with dinosaurs club.

      1. comrad_darkness

        I'll admit, that would make them pretty broad minded. So broad minded their brains are at risk of falling out.

  20. comrad_darkness

    Once again we fall back to relying on the Brits for decent new coverage. All signs point to a rapey apocalypse come November.

        1. sullivanst

          Ugh. The Daily Mail. I think I hate it more than I hate the Murdoch rags. Fucking Hitler-endorsing piece of shit paper.

  21. Mittens Howell, III

    Time for Mitt to clean this up and announce Daniel Tosh as his choice for Rape Czar in a Romney administration.

  22. RadioBowels

    So they discussed this in a quiet room?
    But srsly, this quack is not even an Obstetrician. It's like going to a Psychiatrist for your heart attack. How long will we have to wait for a wingtard to denounce this scourge on the face of humanity? Prolly about the same time as getting those tax returns released.

    1. sullivanst

      I think the GOP will propose a more progressive income tax scheme, single-payer health care, and a comprehensive plan to reduce atmospheric CO2 concentrations long before they denounce this scum. They've been worshiping at his altar for 40 years.

  23. Incitefully_Joe

    sent him a giant love note with his mouth.

    How much do you have to donate to get that reward?

    Take note, Obama! This is way better than just having dinner with you and no funny business!

    1. sullivanst

      Take note, Obama! This is way better than just having dinner with you and no funny business!

      Would much rather have dinner with Obama than love note from Mitt's mouth. It's not even close.

  24. Katydid

    I am so sick and motherfucking tired of these old men sitting in quiet rooms and deciding on what I can and can't do with my body!

  25. sewollef

    "…and if I am elected President I will make some major pro-life pronouncements."

    Oh…. really?

    And what would those be this time around my dear Mittens?

  26. Gorillionaire

    I'll bet 10,000 dollars that Romney didn't even remember who this guy was until about a week ago and now he wishes he had never knew he existed.

  27. anniegetyerfun

    You know, I had no idea I was in possession of such a multi-functional vagina. All this time, I was like, "Yeah, I guess it does the trick", but never did I imagine that I had been outfitted with a Magical Rape-Sperm-Killing, Baby Shutdown Vagina. This is good news!

  28. vodkamuppet

    He just used one wrong word once. If only he had just said 'forcible rape' instead of 'legitamate rape' everything would be ok. It's not the mindset that there are degrees of rape and some are perfectly acceptable that people are pissed about, people are pissed about one wrong word choice. Why not just take that line of thought to it's logical conclusion and say "if she got pregnant she liked it."

  29. NYNYNYjr

    The only serious difference between us is that you like mint chip ice cream, whereas I prefer peppermint stick because I am forbidden to eat chocolate.

  30. Chet Kincaid_

    "If the Godless liberals keep talking about rape, we'll have no choice but to suppress the female vote as well! Dr. Willke, what does Nazi research say about PMS and the ability to make a reasoned decision like voting? Perhaps a doctor's note certifying a sound, menstruation-free mind would be reasonable at the polling place?"

    "That would be a very prudent health policy, Mr. Rove."

    1. not that Dewey

      Leviticus 15:19

      And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.

      Now, just make sure that this happens no later than October 23.

  31. fuflans

    The pro-life movement and I unequivocally stand with Rep. Akin…The guy is clean

    that's just gross. the guy is an ignorant, misogynist peasant spewing medieval cant in the 21st century and running for one of the most powerful offices in the land.

    he is not at all clean in my world.

  32. T3rbo

    I am going out on a limb here: this issue matters to the left as much as it does not matter to the right.
    I find it very hard to believe that any right wing voter who does not have a patented reverse direction vj is going to care at all about what any of these pseudo OBGYN have to say, no matter how wrong it is. These dipshits could say that blah lady parts are known to produce inferior crime prone babies during the World Series on television, pundits could scream bloody murder, and the type of worthless redneck that will never vote for anyone but a non colored will still vote against the colored president.
    I have as much faith in the undecided voter as well. "Gee whiz, I'm not sure if I want to support the party that wants to destroy healthcare reform-that candidate supports insane lady part domination…gee, I just don't know who to vote for!"

  33. barto

    Willke looks like he's kind of jonesin' for some field testing of his claims – got that lean and rapey look.

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