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Mostly just purple Band-Aids.In addition to summoning forth dread hurricanes to (probably) destroy any Florida seniors accidentally left standing in the wake of Paul Ryan’s spending cuts, this year’s GOP convention will bring to Tampa (and viewers whose remote controls are just out of reach) a terribly droll spin on President Obama’s recent musings re: whether or not you built that. (Stage-whispered hint: HE HAS HIS DOUBTS.) The just-announced theme for the Tuesday Night Republican Club: “We Built It!” Yup. That’s about what they’re going with, looks like. But did they? Build “It”?

Is this some sort of dream? Like, this theme night stuff is ON TOP of Tuesday’s Wonkette liquor orgy and exciting speeches from Chris Christie and Bobby Jindal?! (Which, could we maybe combine those fellers into one person-shaped microphone that won’t alternate between yelling at the crowd and lulling it into a deceptively sweet catatonia? Is NASA busy right now?) Anyway, whatever, you guys! OMG America is SO lucky right now!

Promising that Tuesday’s convention theme “will honor the fact that it is the drive, determination and sacrifice of America’s job creators and millions of hard-working American men and women who made the United States the exceptional nation it is,” Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus today announced that Tuesday’s theme for the 2012 Republican National Convention will be “We Built It.”

At a campaign rally in Roanoke, Virginia, last month, President Obama declared, “if you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that.” Priebus said that Tuesday’s convention proceedings “will remind America that we are a nation made great not by Washington but by the men and women who summoned the inner drive, discipline and persistent effort to achieve their dreams within the free enterprise system.”

Can you believe it only took a blogger three nanoseconds to guess that there was no way something called the “Tampa Bay Times Forum” was built solely with proceeds from newspaper subscriptions people forgot to cancel after their parents died? Everybody, thank this nice blogger for showing his work:

The Tampa Bay Times Forum arena, which houses the Tampa Bay Lightning, was built in 1996 as the “Ice Palace” with 62% government funds. The total budget for the project was $139 million, of which public money accounted for $86 million and team money accounted for $53 million.

Paul Ryan is probably going to announce a program of convention-stamps that future national parties can attempt to trade, along with hobo beans and scrip, for a relatively dry conference room where they can cobble together the conservative heterosexual agenda. (PS The stamps won’t be adjusted for inflation, just for spite!)

Convention CEO William Harris said, “Tuesday’s program will highlight America’s entrepreneurial strength and our people’s incomparable work ethic.”

And you will definitely be needing that work ethic if you intend to stay unfired from all those service jobs Mitt can’t wait to give you! [The Daily Dolt; Chicago Sun-Times]

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