Everybody panic! Some dude at Examiner.com looked at a bunch of funny gifs of a maybe-hurricane and decided it might hit Tampa (and your Editrix!) just in time for the RNC! Where will we shelter from the possible storm? Probably a titty bar. But far more important than whether or not we (by which we mean “I”) are murdered by the vengeful weather is what could have angered the deity to call down this Old Testament (it is even named Isaac, we think?) smiting:
Could it be Gluttony?
Lust?
Envy?
Nah mang, those are all New Testament bullshit, it is definitely teh ghey.
[Examiner, via Wonkville miner Terry]
{ 296 comments }
Couldn't have happened to a nicer group of people.
Except Editrix. She needs to survive until the NYC gathering. Then you may dispose of her as you see fit….
….with votes.
On the bright side, if she's stuck in a Tampa titty bar, maybe she can earn some cash and pay for more rounds of drinks in NYC.
Oooh, hadn't thought of that…Go Isaac, go!
Does silicone have any sort of weather proofing properties? Because I might want to declare titty bars as a point of refuge then.
we gathering? in New York City? hotdamn!
when! where! Yay!
The only detail I'm aware of is the date, September 13. Other than that, I do not know.
Marked on my calendar! Hmm…. maybe I should put "out of office" for the 14th as well.
Yeah, but too bad the citizens of Tampa have to be affected, too. Maybe the storm can come directly down on top of the convention center during Mitten's speech.
Yes but if a hurricane were to demolish and wash the convention center out to sea, you'd have to feel bad about all the hookers and rent boys in the hotel rooms.
And the fish who'd be forced to swim through all the anal grease and santorum.
Needs moar smittin'
It ain't exactly the rapture, but it will have to do.
If a tornado touches down, and they often do during Florida hurricanes, and Dorothys them off to the heavens, does that count?
Cuz that would be awesome!
I'd ask for divine assistance… But Akin is still running. I've already used up my prayer ticket.
You are being quoted http://allhatnocattle.net/blog7/2012/08/22/hurric…
Ha, ha. The sweet smell of success…
"Washington, D.C. you'd think by now they'd get the message," Bachmann said at a town hall in Florida Saturday to laughs. "An earthquake, a hurricane, are you listening? The American people have done everything they possibly can, now it's time for an act of God and we're getting it."
~Michele Bachmann
I wonder if she will feel the same way if a hurricane does happen?
Must go to Pinterest now and find candles for Rebecca.
Forget the candles – get her a taser. She needs something to hold back all of that Florida crazy!
I thought that's what her magic bracelets were for?
Oh, wait….those are handcuffs?????
God wouldn't have sent a hurricane if the Republicans had nominated Michele Bachmann.
I read it that way, too!
The worst places for natural disasters are all in Texas and the deep south.
I am OK with this:
http://www.smartplanet.com/blog/thinking-tech/inf…
Poor, stupid, and at risk from natural disasters is no way to go through life, son.
It is "Republicans".
So you're going with "pestilence", then?
Actually, all of 'em, Serolf..
Smittens Romney.
That is all.
You get one chort
That is all.
I'm gonna trademark "Mitt-Storm".
Needs more serpents, locusts, and a nice soaking rain of frogs.
Plagues and famines too! More plagues and famines!
A dash of pestilence wouldn't hurt either.
Ah lerves me some pestilences!!
More cowbell!
As you have obviously forgotten, Flarda is heavy on the frog rain already. Huuuuge reptilian storms wouldn't even make these folks blink. What we need is a good blood soaking. Of course it'd just be blamed on all the womens and their evil self controlled uteri, but I'll still take it.
Amphibians, my dear, things what start out with gills and metamorphose. Its fascinating, isn't it? Ontogeny recapitulating phylogeny?
Like at the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey?
Oh do shut the hell up. I realized it as soon as I said it. I did not get a lot of sleep last night.
It is still just fascinating. Tadpoles are underrated. I was just sharing my delight at the wonders of science. Don't get me going on astronomy, Neil deGrasse Tyson is my idol! I wanted to be an astronomer but then they made me make Hurtsprung-Russel diagrams, uck! Fuck the main sequence anyway.
Hagiography recapitulates proctoscopy?
(Giles Goat-Boy)
Smiting of the first born?
I think serpents is taken care of in Florida, what with Burmese pythons and the African rock python, which when they interbreed create a kind of superserpent that is quite capable of swallowing small humans whole.
Lindsay Graham better watch his ass!
Rabid badgers would be nice, also.
Rabid honey badgers. To infest the GOP convention, you need a critter that doesn't give a shit.
Badgers? We don't need no steenking badgers!
Haw, we'll see how handsome Ryan is when he's covered with suppurating boils.
Agonizingly painful suppurating boils.
Will the smiting be televised?
Almighty Grid would approve.
The Smiting will not be right back after a message
About a white tornado, white lightning, or white people.
NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32
Or report from 29 districts.
The Smiting will not be televised.
Dang. I was hoping to watch.
"The RNC will not be televised
It will not appear on your tv
It will not bring prosperity
The RNC will not be televised"
(With apologies to Gil Scott Heron, RIP)
Climate has a liberal bias.
That many gay politicians in one place, of course there will be a hurricane.
Is this were we find the himicane joke?
It's raining rentboys?
Between all the hot air and the blowing, it should be a category 5.
God sent them 4 in a row when they stole the election. Robertson remained silent.
A hurricane hitting Tampa in time for the RNC convention would definitely restore my faith in G-d!
Dr Jeff Masters first had the probability for evacuation in Tampa during the convention at 1%. then 2% yesterday, now 3% today.
But Issac is headed for warmer water and wind shear remains low.
If any are prayin' folk, now's the time! (To pray for the safety of our Wonketeers and Editrix of course!)
Warm water is fuel for hurricanes. The National Hurricane Center has the storm over Tampa on Monday morning: http://www.wunderground.com/tropical/tracking/at2…
It takes some skill to pronounce dashes like that. Carrot Ironfoundersson, is that you?
If we get a vote, I vote for a pillar of fire obliterating the convention center, Sarah Palin turned into a pillar of salt, followed by a plague of frogs.
Sorry, you want Lou Sarah turned into a pillar of salt and then into a plague of frogs? She's already a plague of screeching bullshit.
I'll consider the existence of God, when I see the news footage of the bloated, crab nibbled, bodies, of all of the delegates, candidates and Donald Trump, floating in Tampa Bay, the day after the hurricane.
I might reconsider my belief in the possibility of a divinity myself at that point.
Your move, John Hagee.
If it were to hit Tampa, what are the sins of the Republicans that we can blame on this act of God?
Oh, that's an easy one: for trying to force Akin out of the race for being a good Christian
AOTK
Google didn't like. Please parse for me
"All of them, Katie"
One of the early indications that, in addition to being a loathsome human being, Lou Sarah was a blithering idiot.
I knew that. This probably means I'm going to get my Wonketter card rescinded. :(
All of them. See list above.
Remember the douchenozzles in Colorado Springs praying for biblical flooding the night of Obama's acceptance speech?
Remember Colorado Springs getting those flash floods and the rightwingers were curiously silent?
Also, the almost-burning-down of said city, stopped only by brave firefighters, who Colorado Springs bravely cut funding and benefits for.
Cue the locusts in one two three…
OT but NPR had a brilliant piece several years ago about Christians walking around randomly praying over Colorado Springs. Creeped me out.
Dear Hurricane God:
Please smite the Republicans and spare our Editrix.
Do you think lambs blood will still work? Is she a first born?
Editrix is a fellow Red Sea Pedestrian-she'll just walk down the middle of Tampa Bay.
Knocking the power out to the convention center for the duration would be fabulous. Disabled or inadequate backup generators would be a plus.
Right- and price gouging on said generator sales would just be good ol' fashioned Capitalism!
Reinacting "The Lord of the Flies" with an all-RepubliTard cast. Bloody, but entertaining.
Kill the pig, slit his throat.
So many pigs, so little time……
I'd settle for the air conditioners going off.
Amen!
It's a Goddess, you fool! Now look what you've done!
Very nice. To the point.
Hurricane heading to GOP Convention: It just seems appropriate, doesn't it?
A hurricane in Tampa would be terrible. Won't someone please think of the strippers?
I'll volunteer for that job!
No-one's thinking about the strippers. The 'Tards are focusing strictly on the rentboys.
Nah, they're used to being splashed with water. They'll be fine.
Think of the strippers!.
Slap!
Think of the children!
Slap!
The strippers are children!
Wasn't there also some ugly hurricane during the 08 GOP convention, too? Or maybe that was just Sarah Palin.
You are two for two. The only disappointing part is that I had power while everyone was fapping over Sister Sarah and didn't lose power until the storm made landfall near Galveston.
But you can call her Slurricane.
This is so delicious I can barely contain myself. Frankly, if FL snapped off into the Gulf that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, right?
Hey! A few reasonable people (of which I consider myself one) still have to live here. :-/
Sorry, I feel your pain living amongst the mouth-breathing yahoos in TX.
Grew up among mouth-breathing yahoos in FL, and now I'm in TX. Sigh. At least I'm in Austin.
Oooohhh….me too. Well, Cedar Park–which is pretty conservative but there are a few closet Dems up here.
Me, too.
My condolences. I lived in that "barren sandspit, unfit for human habitation*" for 20-odd years (and they were indeed odd [rimshot]) before escaping in 1995. I live in Ohio now. It ain't great, but it ain't Florida, and that's something.
*in the immortal words of Ponce de Leon
Hurricane Lorena?
God can be forcible.
Good point. I mean, if you got drunk and passed out when the hurricane went by, that's almost asking for it, isn't it?
How will we know if the hurricane is legitimate or not?
Maybe this?
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was unfamiliar with that artist.
Pfft. Florida's totally asking for it what with that peninsula hanging out for everyone to see.
It's not known as America's Wang for nothing.
May I recommend 2001: A Sex Oddesey, if you're looking for a good club. Slightly north of Tampa
See? God spared Isaac for a reason. He was saving him for some serious smiting of the unrighteous. Our Editrix will be alright.
He who is stupideth enough to haseth a fucking convention in FL. in fucking late August, really, they deserveth whatever happens. Really.
Verily and forsooth, says I.
I'm looking forward to the footage of Romney ordering the Secret Service to start shooting at the delegates when they try to get into Raymond James Stadium at the height of the storm surge.
And a few days later BoBama can do a fly over, and be photographed at the plane's window giving the one-fingered salute to the conventioneers.
With all the concealed-carry wingnuts in town, and a rapidly-decreasing amount of ground to stand, what could possibly go wrong? I'm picturing the Katrina Superdome scene, but with lots of guns and angry white morons thrown into the mix. When the National Guard comes in to put 'em down, the helicopters might as well be black.
I'm sure if Tampa is hit by the hurricane, the nutcases in the GOP will say that it's God raining his tears on the city for the horrible curse of gay Islamic feminist socialist liberalism in America.
And if it doesn't hit, they'll say, "You see? God *wants* us to succeed!" Already my head is spinning from the spin.
Hurricanes, in general, are really spinny things.
More evidence that god hates states shaped like limp penises.
…and I've got tits bigger than the mountains in Florida.
Those aren't mountains. They're landfills covered in grass. Regardless, it's quite impressive that your tits are bigger than them, because there are a lot of huge landfill-mountains here!
Why do they call them landfills? Because nobody would pay twenty million for a garbage dump.
Not quite landfills — they're gypsum stacks, aka phosphate waste piles.
Florida has a billion tons (literally, one billion tons) of this stuff piled up. Eventually, they'll be tropical islands, and all that's left of Florida real estate — too bad they're acidic as hell, and radioactive.
She's rich, she's beautiful, she's got huge… tracts of land…
New Jersey Libel!
I believe "Isaac" means "the laughing one" so perhaps God is sending his death swirly to Florida because the only thing funnier than Republican hate politics is Republican death politics.
"Death swirly" is nicely done. Thank you.
No, "Sarah" means "the laughing one". Amusingly enough.
"Our God is a vindictive and selectively spiteful God", some say.
There is no way you are going to find a titty bar that has any room with the GOP in town. Your best bet is to find a Black Church to ride out the storm, GOP members avoid them the way I steer clear of square dances.
Not to worry. Most of the delegates will be busy with the rentboys on Clearwater Beach and hotels adjacent to it.
I have a gay male friend currently stuck in Tampa's airport due to bad weather. I should tell him to take advantage of the inconvenience cuz he can probably make quite a few bucks.
Crisis = danger + opportunity.
He is just automatically a whore?
He was when he and I used to hang out! Not that there's anything wrong with that. ;-)
DO SI DO LIBEL!!!
All those fat old white Repubs praying hard for a great blowjob in Tampa are gonna get one.
^^Winner
Of course! The GOP is redefining rape in advance of all the expected 'issues' at the strip clubs after their meeting in Tampa…
If God is running around the convention, GOP women need to beware swans, golden showers, and other "immaculate" knock-ups. They're unlikely to find any sympathy from their comrades.
God: "I was in fear."
Does everyone remember the scene in West Wing when Pres. Bartlett smashes out his cigarette on the floor of the church and then calls God "a feckless thug". That really is the god that many Republicans, like Bachman, seem to believe in. Like an alcoholic father who can't keep his family in order but only shows up drunk to deliver some abuse, theirs is a God who seems incapable of actually getting anything done but who loves to lash out angrily from time to time. And they love him for it. Republicans need theological alanon.
The one where he goes all Latin on His ass for taking Landingham?
I absolutely adore that scene.
That may very well be one of my favorite television scenes of all time.
Fifty Shades of God
There is a God and his name is Hurricane…errr, which one again? There've been so many already.
Hurricane Obama. Same as in 2008.
This could be good news for the NY Yankees.
Who will defend St. Jetersburg?
I await a crop of excuses for being found in porn theaters, bondage clubs, gay hangouts…"The hurricane blew me into here".
Blown inside, blown outside…
"I pulled into a Shell station. They said I'd blown a seal. I said 'Keep my personal life out of this!' "
"I needed a wide stance in order not to be blown away"
the back of Tony Montana's Caddy…
Hurricane Isaac–someone is gonna get all Old Testament on the Republican National Convention.
Is that God, or Green Lantern?
It's too bad stupidity isn't considered a deadly sin by the bible because it most certainly is in the real world.
Not deadly enough, if you ask me.
And they were all praying it would only rain men.
Hallelujah!
If a hurricane does hit Tampa during the convention the GOPbaggers will just say that God was punishing Tampa for letting Biden come there.
"Invincible ignorance" is exactly that: If the storm of the century came along and wiped Tampa from the face of the earth, these retarded fuckers would make a big deal of the fact that 87 titty bars got demolished, but only one convention center.
Given that God's venting Her wrath on the Republican party, maybe this time She'll send a host of angry vaginas?
I, for one, would go to Tampa to see that.
Hm, you know, it occurs to me that I missed a bet over the past four years of not seeing to it that every hooker had syphillis or gonorrhea.
With all the hot air flowing out of the convention hall, maybe it will provide a counter force.
Hot, moist air only strengthens hurricanes.
Anyone here who thinks a hurricane would not be blamed on Republicans repudiating the divine science of Todd Akin, just doesn't know the GOP the way I know the GOP.
Here's looking forward to a bunch of Republican men squealing like a bunch of little girls when all hell breaks loose.
Blow, wind, blow.
Why should Lindsey Graham get all the action?
*puts on dark wraparound shades*
*sings*
Blow wind, blow wind
Blow my country back to me
Blow wind, blow wind
Blow my country back to me
Well you know if these assholes get to run it, we'll all be in misery
Goodbye wingnuts that is all I have left to say
Ohh, goodbye wingnuts, that is all I have left to say
But you have lost your good thing
Go ahead and be on your way
Suggested headlines:
"GOP Convention Blows"
"Romney/Ryan: all wet?"
etc.
Dear Republican National Convention:
Hurricane God is going to smite you like a motherfucker.
Signed,
Your biggest fan
Just call it a "Godly Terrorist Fist Bump".
Mitt is sure having a shitty month. And as hard as I try to be kind and not be judgmental, I am enjoying watching this.
As long as he has a shitty month in November, I don't much care what happens between now and then.
[but yeah, seconded on the enjoyment]
I'm kind of hoping that the Christian nutters will interpret this as the RNC's punishment for nominating a Mormon and/or RINO rather than, say, Rick Santorum for POTUS. It'd be hilarious if they went to the time and expense of passing Citizens United and all those Voter ID laws, but were sabotaged internally by the backwoods fundie fifth column who doesn't understand that funneling Social Security and Medicare to our financial barons is eminently more important than their petty socialist God.
Not an issue: The GOP could nominate Zombie Joe Stalin, and he'd still be the Great White Hope to the racist dumbfuck demographic.
"Well, he's going to hell but he's white and wants to cut taxes."
Krusty: Well, he framed me for armed robbery, but man, I'm aching for that upper-class tax cut…
A Mormon AND a Roman Catholic.
What will happen to all the smooth Asian rentboys? It is them I pity.
A little sandblasting never hurt anybody
Personally, I'll wait until it actually hits before I schaden my freude.
Can't they just pray that shit away?
If it doesn't work on traveller's diarrhea it's not going to stop a hurricane.
Pretty sure a hurricaine is hitting Tampa just in time for the RNC because of libruls and the gays. It's God's way of saying that he hates the libruls who aren't there and the gays who are completely shat on by the Tony Perkins-written platform. Logic!
The picture seems to indicate that god is either the hulk or made out of kryptonite.
Lets face it.
If you were a hurricane would you want to be in Tampa with all those republicans?
It's called an "umbrella". Look it up.
Who are you trying to kid, Sharkey?
We can all read you like a cello-music-playing book.
You're hoping the hurricane will knock them all into the ocean so you can OM NOM NOM their fat, pasty white asses.
And I, for one, approve.
Shhhhh!
"I don't always pray, but when I do, I pray for this."
– the Most Interesting Liberal in the World
Stay secular, my friends!
Implore responsibly.
Gee, a hurricane threatening and maybe hitting the GOP convention means that the GOP'ers are going to be relying on nasty old big government and those heathen scientists. Weather forecasting, government mandated evacuations, search and rescue, aid to survivors, government backed flood insurance, all sorts of things that the Republicans stand firmly against.
I think we should sit back and let private enterprise come to their rescue.
Didn't god smite the Walnuts convention with bad weather, too? I seem to remember them having to tone down the crazy slightly because of a weather tragedy.
It's been a couple of years since Florida has received a good enema from Mother Nature. Tampa during a GOP convention is the appropriate place to plug it in. If there is a God, Romney will be delivering his acceptance speech when the storm hits.
I hope it happens EXACTLY LIKE THIS!!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXc5ltzKq3Y
Imagine all those Republicans stuck in a Katrina-like domed stadium. I enjoy imagining that.
Will Babs Bush call them deadbeats?
Babs will sell them educational software for her son Neil. Not that it would help them learn.
I suspect any educational software produced by a member of the Bush family would make even Einstein dumb.
Educational Software For Dummies?
Our Hopey can do a flyover in his helicopter and give 'em the finger.
Thank you for that visual.
P + 10. Also, Good Job Brownie!
Tell the fucking private sector to clean up after, will ya?
I'll have some Lust with a side of Sloth, thanks.
Isaac is coming and boy, is he pissed!
Hurricane Isaac is only relevant because Hurricane Abraham kicked Hurricane Ishmael out of the Hurricane Family.
There will be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth– so get plenty of cash out of the ATM before electricity cuts out in the titty bars and all will be well.
Now that's thinking about head – I mean, ahead.
Dear Editrix,
You are hereby excused from delivering a live from the seawall during a friggin storm blog post.
Best thing would be to put some distance between you and the convention center.
Cheeto-trust me, i rode out Carla.
If you get caught in the storm may I suggest battening down your hatches by lashing yourself to Jim Cantore's lightning rod
Oh, boy, do I have a long time crush on Jim Cantore. A few months after I left south Louisiana, he did a live broadcast during a storm about two blocks from where I had lived. Had I still been living there, I'd have driven over to offer him a cool beverage and some moral support.
Batten down your weapons!
And you just know that they're use this as evidence that "global heating" is a hoax
Don't worry. If it's a legitimate hurricane, Republicans have a way of shutting the whole thing down.
Tampa Mayor: City ‘Prepared’ To Call Off Convention In Event Of Dangerous Weather
http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/tampa…
Well, he is a Democrat.
Is he just messing with them?
Cancel it? Cowards … they just need to man up and face their legitimate Mother Nature rape.
"I'm a fan of all seven. But right now, I think I'm gonna have to go with wrath."–Captain Malcolm Reynolds
Its time to rehire Brownie.
If for no other reason than to look after Rafalca.
"Michael Baumgartner, a Republican candidate for U.S. Senate in Washington State, took exception to an article written about him this week, emailing the author to tell him to "go fuck yourself.""
For you who are meteorologically inclined, here is the National Weather Service "Cone" map showing Isaac's likely path.
http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/refresh/graphics_at4+shtm…
Note where Isaac is likely to be on Monday morning at 8:00 am. Whoopee!
The Lord moves in mysterious ways, and some really overt ways too.
TD 10 has now formed out in the Atlantic as well. Looks to be on the same path as Isaac. God REALLY doesn't like liars.
I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh.–Proverbs 1:26
HAH ha! — Nelson Muntz
That's not Jehovah, that's Zeus, by Jove!
I see what you did there…
I'm sure Jindal and the New Orleans Superdome could help shelter everyone if the storm hits.
It might work out very well for them, at that.
At the same time, good ol' Pat Robertson is saying that the drought is God's vengeance.
"God always has the last say. He controls the weather. He controls the rain."
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/
Do Nate Silver or Charlie Cook do weather reports?
Florida titty bars offer great prizes in their wet t-shirt contests when the hurricanes blow ashore.
'Bec-ca!
'Bec-ca!
'Bec-ca!
'Bec-ca!
'Bec-ca!
'Bec-ca!
Tonight only at the foot fetish bar: Wet Sock Contest
O/T
Dan Savage debates National Organization for Marriage jackass Brian Brown: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed…
I can't hope for a hurricane to hit anywhere. Maybe just a daily shower over Mitt's head. I think the soaked, bedraggled look would be great for him. Maybe someone could get him a nice poncho.
He's probably already got at least one Pancho on his gardening crew.
Probably won't be as much fun as this: http://www.tmz.com/2012/08/21/prince-harry-naked-…
That's gotta be one of those tough luck things like, "Orders Coke… gets Pepsi". "Clicks on link thinking of Prince William… gets Prince Harry".
Come to think of it, Prince Harry even looks like the guy in the tough luck picture:
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3ot0xe/
Just one more, cause it made me laugh so hard when I first saw it: http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3on7eh/
If Isaac follows the current forecast model, he appears to be prepared to take Tampa from behind.
I don't think the GOP believes in hurricanes, being science-thingy.
<<Thunder>> THIS IS GOD, I AM NOT PLEASE WITH YOUR POLITICAL STUPIDITY. <<Thunder>> <<Thunder>> <<Thunder>> I AM SENDING IN A HURRICANE NAMED ISAAC, NOT THE BIBLICAL NAME BUT AN INTELLIGENT CHRISTIAN AND RATIONAL FELLOW, THE ONE WHO DESCRIBE UNIVERSAL GRAVITATION AND THREE LAWS OF MOTION. <<Thunder>> <<Thunder>>
All this week they've endured a shit-storm in Missouri, looking for a Hurricane next week in Tampa, what next? Oh, right: massive landslide in November.
I'm not surprised.
"God hates fags".
Might I recommend a little hole in the wall across the bay in St Pete, Lucky Star, built like a bunker to hold the gays while getting smashed on cheap drinks.
God certainly looks a lot like Zeus. They must be brothers.
The graphic reminds me that I haven't played Age of Mythology: The Joseph Smith Edition in a while. Well, there goes my social life for the next few weeks.
God: Why are you smiting yourself? Why are you smiting yourself? Why are you smiting yourself?…
I've lived on or near the Atlantic Coast all my life. I've had to run away from several, had to shelter in place for a few and sweated out the passage of lots more. Hurricane season is no joke at all, here: disaster preparation is essential, watching the weather everyday is crucial and you have to be ready to Bug Out at a moment's notice. Hurricanes are huge, devastating and by far the scariest things I've ever been through – bar none.
I always wish the storm track to run out to sea, because the consequences if they hit can be terrible. Normally, I would not wish them on anyone.
All that said, I will laugh and drink myself into hysterical exhaustion next week.
However the storm track resolves, the fact remains that Tampa – one of the nation's most spread out and least served by Mass Transit cities – will be hit by at least heavy winds, flooding and rain during a convention full of middle-aged anti-government Global Warming Denier Anarcho-Capitalists. They will probably end up needing help from The Government.
This will be fun, for me. I'll be Waiting for the Hurricane.
That little bitch Pat Robertson had better start praying harder!
Anyone with half a brain knows that August is the worst month for hurricanes in Florida and along the Gulf Coast. This FACT is based on the science and history of hurricanes.
Oh, wait a minute — that explains it!! We're talking about the Republikan Party here and they don't need no stinking science or history!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmmm, like horoscopes and shit? I love that stuff. (shut up shut up I watch the daily show and Colbert, I know who NDT is…)
*swoooon* NDT
*swoooon* red supergiants
Dr. Tyson is the MAN. You can still do the amateur astronomy, though.
Sorry, I meant 'hertzsprung-russel." I'm not much a believer in astrology. Birds, though, birds are ominous.
I think he's more a brown dwarf, but I've never seen him naked.
Now you're just saying big words to show off. I have no idea. But I'm a Sagittarius if you believe in that shit…(okay not really but I love Jim Morrison as much as I do Neil)
I doubt any of us here are Main Sequence. A luminous remark, nonetheless.
" The science of astrology took a giant step towards credibility today, when, as predicted, everyone born under the sign of Scorpio was hit by an egg truck"
Sagittarius is very close to the galactic central point, and thus hosts a great array of open clusters, globular clusters, and emission nebulae within just a few degrees.
Sorry, wait… are we not nerding out here…?
Fine. I'm going back to the basement.
Oh btw, I had to dig up the stash 'cause I owed a dude some money. But don't worry, there's still about a quarter o' y'alls cut still down there! I also moved it to a undisclosed other hole, so put yer gun down and gimme a runnin' start and I'll yell it to ya while I peel out, cool?
glasspusher concurs. You can even make your own telescopes…
I've been doing some solar stuff lately with the annular eclipse and the transit of Venus. It's HOT!
I doubt it – any time you give someone a legitimate* excuse to call Snowbillie a blithering idiot, another angel gets her wings.
*my nomination for "Word of the Year"
We'll put you on probation.
Fuck yeah. I had an eclipse party and in addition to the thirty or so folks we invited, about 80 passersby showed up, including the governor of my fair state and his wife. Eclipse flash mob! Crazy.
"everyone born under the sign of Scorpio was hit by an egg truck"
*thinking of at least two of the Scorpios I've dated*
*smirks*
Good.
Did you take the trash out like your mom asked you to?
You wound me … unless we dated.
Well, then, you would probably agree with this?
A word of caution- these forecasts are not intended to foster a belief in astrology, but merely to support people who cannot take responsibility for their own lives.
If you're a guy with blond hair and glasses, then we probably did.
If you're a Scorpio who has *not* dated me (and subsequently kicked my ass), I wish you no ill will.
Since I'm a Libra, I sort of believe in astrology and sort of think it's silly.
As far as Scorpios, specifically?
Picture a Venn Diagram:
I've had Scorpio friends and family members and co-workers with whom I got along fine. And I've stayed friends with almost all of my exes, even the former Mr. Tessie. Scorpios — OK. Exes — OK. But the part of the diagram where "scorpios" and "dating" intersect? Hoo boy.
I'm trying like anything to get the fucking link to behave. Goddamn html…
http://www.stromer.com/jokes/zodiac.html
As an amateur astronomer and having had a year of astrophysics in college (although chemistry is my day job), I am firmly in the “silly” camp when it comes to astrology. Unless you get to pick your parents and your birth date (Metaphysicans, are you listening?), the whole thing is beyond nonsense. I do get asked a lot of questions about it, invariably, because of my interests in the slightly more rigorous near homophone.Fer instance- the astrologers tell me I'm a Sagittarius by my birth date, to which I reply, that's funny, the sun is in Scorpius on my birthday! They say, oh, that doesn't matter, to which I reply, “Oh yeah? Then what does to you people?”
I plead innocence by virtue of that “kicked my ass” clause … that was close!
Good to know.
V.V. Good. Added to links.
I just wish the part about how Libras never make any money weren't quite so true.
*pets HistoriCat gently*
Nice kitty.
I had a migrant farmworker walk by so I had him see the eclipse first through a special filter he held up and then through the scope. He was impressed, but I don't think he's going to apply for Dr. Tyson's position.
Dear Tessie, The greatest obstacles are in the mind! Dr. Glasspusher says you are whole and free! See your future, make your future! Be the ball!
Hell, they'll be lucky I come in the 17th…
Chet, the globular clusters are coming!
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