God Due To 'Stand His Ground' Against Tampa's Republican Convention, With Hurricane Maybe

Everybody panic! Some dude at Examiner.com looked at a bunch of funny gifs of a maybe-hurricane and decided it might hit Tampa (and your Editrix!) just in time for the RNC! Where will we shelter from the possible storm? Probably a titty bar. But far more important than whether or not we (by which we mean "I") are murdered by the vengeful weather is what could have angered the deity to call down this Old Testament (it is even named Isaac, we think?) smiting:

Could it be Gluttony ?

 Sloth ?

 Pride ?

 Avarice ?

 Lust ?

 Anger ?

 Envy ?

Nah mang, those are all New Testament bullshit, it is definitely teh ghey.

[ Examiner , via Wonkville miner Terry]