separate and unequal

GOP Platform Jerk Does Douchey Fist Pump Over Denying DC Representation Forever

Here is a video of a man — looks like, but is not, Hugh Hewitt — droning on and on all Bueller-styley about how of course the GOP platform shouldn’t “dilute” the representation the citizens of DC already have in Congress (one) by giving them more representation. Besides, the people of DC are all blah, and therefore Democrats! (He does not say the blah part, just blah blah blah Democrat Party.)

Anyway, there’s really no need to listen to this man-person being detestable (it will be quite a while before we forget that getting more congresspeople is “diluting” the one (non-voting) (out of 535 representatives and senators) that you have. Just skip right to the end and watch him do his douchey fist pump like he is a high school jock on Glee after winning a voice vote. YEAH! WHOO! FACE! SLUSHEE! I’M A FUCKING DIPWAD WHO DOES FIST PUMPS! Whatevs.

UPDATE! Nice person on Twitter @dorseyshaw made us this gif, if we saved it right.

[RightWingWatch]

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  • Trannysurprise

    Come to NE and I will show you fist pump. Douche.

    • Terry

      I have some old friends from school in SE who would greet him in a similar way.

    • Whatever

      And I'll cover NW

  • Ruhe

    Bopp you're baloney.

    • Roger_of_Arabia

      Yeah James Bopp is a dueche, but his wife Bee Bopp is one cool kitty.

  • viennawoods13

    Ahem! Bopp! Perhaps you've heard the phrase… No taxation without representation?

    (and how can you call non-voting status actual representation?)

    • comrad_darkness

      Same representation as Guam. You are just a colony, dude.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      how can you call non-voting status actual representation?

      I believe is argument is that DC residents have a form of "virtual" representation, which is good enough. Not that that concept has any sort of interesting history behind it or anything.

      • viennawoods13

        No kidding. Really, you have got to wonder why these guys' heads don't explode from the contradictions contained within.

      • Callyson

        "I believe is argument is that DC residents have a form of "virtual" representation, which is good enough."

        Wouldn't it be nice if we could convince the *Republicans* to accept virtual representation in Washington…

    • Chichikovovich

      I've always found right wingers who repeat that slogan to be among the most irritating. During the over 25 years in the 'States as a non-voting student/H1/Green card visa holder, I paid plenty of taxes.

      Edit: One time as an exercise, a friend from Timmins and I calculated how much we paid in Federal income tax, state/provincial income tax, property taxes, payroll taxes, sales taxes, tolls paid on roads, bridges etc. (ubiquitous in the US, rare in Canada, at least where I've lived), fees paid for license plates, drivers licence renewal, etc. To even out the fraction of his taxes that go to OHIP health insurance, I added the cost of my faculty health insurance as income, and then deducted it as a tax. We both added additional fees and copays.

      At the end of the calculation, we came to the conclusion that the rumored "Higher Canadian Taxes" are wildly overrated. On some ways of counting and slicing, I was even paying more.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Yep – but that's what makes the US so extraordinary. We've mastered the art of the rhetorical liberty coupled to the little slice here and there (which is often inadequate to actually achieve the stated goals, since people hate taxes so).

        Although on toll roads, Canada has the US beat in one way. For years Illinois couldn't get its act together and track down people who ran through the EZ pass lane without paying. I did the same thing one time on a Canadian highway (I swear it was accidental) and not only did they track me down in the US for payment, they still send me e-mail updates about the road since I paid electronically.

        • Chichikovovich

          Ah, yes. You've encountered the private expressway that cuts the corner roughly north of Toronto between Highway 400 and Highway 401, I assume. I got an email from them today, as it happens, keeping me up to date on all the thrilling developments with their organization.I avoid that thing on principle, even at the cost of an extra half and hour or so to get heading north on the 401. Unless it's a Friday afternoon in the Spring/Summer/early Fall (must avoid the insane cottage traffic north to Muskoka). My principles have a certain flexibility.—

    • Boojum

      People in DC should get to vote in every House and Senate election.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Nobody does fist pumps anymore. Not even douchebags.

    • bflrtsplk

      That`s a fist pump? Not where I come from.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Yeah that looked more like what he'd do in a quiet room with a pig, if you catch my drift.

    • billy_reuben

      Ahem, I think he just demonstrated douchebags still fistpump.

    • eggsacklywright

      Fist pump? I think I saw one of those once in a 70's Danish porn flick.

    • PsycWench

      I have my suspicions about Bryan Fischer. That Michigan assistant attorney general guy also.

  • PuckStopsHere

    He would have been more exuberant but he didn't want to draw the 15-yard penalty for excessive celebration.

  • noodlesalad

    This isn't the only way Mr. Bopp "fist-pumps" when he thinks about taking advantage of blacks.

    • eggsacklywright

      There must be a Hale-Bopp joke in here somewhere.

      • Terry

        I was thinking more along the lines of Cyndi Lauper's song She Bop

        • noodlesalad

          The Not-So-Big Bopper?

      • HistoriCat

        I was thinking a Hanson Mmmm Bop joke was the way to go.

        Sorry for any earworms that causes – but I didn't want to be the only one.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    So we should have the right to purchase and own any weapon we want, but not to have representation in Congress? Dickheads.

    • Terry

      You forgot a limit on your access to abortion.

    • An_Outhouse

      You have a 'representative'. They just can't vote. Now go stand quietly in the corner until the table needs to be cleared.

  • Schmannnity

    "The District already has representation through a nonvoting member of Congress." Maybe Mississippi and Alabama would like representation through nonvoting members.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Denying blahs the vote has been a theme with these guys since… oh, what… 1865?

    • Angry_Marmot

      The Repubs were the progressives and Dems the party of entrenched douches until roughly around the time of the Taft / Teddy Roosevelt "Bull Moose" split c. 1912. (Feel free to correct or amend me).

      • Serolf_Divad

        Yeah, but "these guys" just switched parties.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    The new GOP slogan: "No representation! No taxation!"

  • memzilla

    Taxation Asshattery without representation is tyranny!

    • LibertyLover

      Nonsense. I think Asshattery is fully represented in and by the Republican party.

  • RadioBowels

    I heard Abe Lincoln fist pumped after his speech in Gettysburg.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Is this before or after Paul Revere shot those guns and rang those bells?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Hmmmm. Looks suspiciously like one of those terrorist fist bumps to me.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Technically, that's not a "fist pump". That is the counterbalancing arm motion to a pelvic thrust, implying that you have just fucked somebody over royally. Why would anyone find that offensive?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I thought you put your hands on your hips for that, and drew your knees in ti-i-ight?

      • UnholyMoses

        "put your hands on your tits but your hips will do … "

        Fixed for horrorness.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          It's astounding.

          Time is fleeting…

      • Terry

        But its the jump to the left that really drives 'em insane.

        (note: lyrics mangled on purpose)

      • GhostBuggy

        Does that mean we can send the GOP back to Transexual, Transylvania? Please say yes.

  • Lucidamente1

    You left out the part where he says that Eleanor Holmes Norton has to get a transvaginal probe at the start of each floor debate.

  • slappy_maxwell

    Woo. Somebody's hittin' the strip club tonite.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    A gloating fist pump is okay because a white person does it.

    I suspect that he also prefers wearing and using pumps.

  • eggsacklywright

    You don't really need representation in a plutocracy.

  • UnholyMoses

    Don't represent me, bro!

  • ttommyunger

    I'm beginning to suspect that a good majority of Congressmen are conniving, small-minded little cunts – what? Wait, no really?

    • billy_reuben

      That's exactly what makes them representative of their constituencies.

  • Goonemeritus

    It is way too early for him to celebrate even a casual observer can find some minority rights that have yet to be denied.

  • mavenmaven

    Running largely black areas is of course still the white man's burden.

  • freakishlywrong

    That there is a terr'ist fist pump.

  • 1stNewtontheMoon

    Can't we do the same thing for all the cities in which blah people live? They're not really part of the "real American" part of those states anyway.

    P.S. This dickhead is also Mr. Citizens United. Corporate Americans? Sure, participate like a motherfucker in the democratic process. All you blahs who live in D.C.? get fucked.

  • RadioBowels

    Does he know that Tiger Woods invented the fist pump?

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      Republicans play golf too, ya know.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    here's a thing: instead of this 'Hugh Hewitt' fellow, how bout some stories of naked prince harry in vegas?

    it's been a bad few weeks (centuries) for those of us with lady bits.

  • cheetojeebus

    2 points, watching without sound i'm reminded of Clutch Cargo, two, not sure of the name for it but this gesture is usually accompanied by a hip thrust as in 'I fucked it.' A good example is that odd guy with bleached hair in the elevator of "Gungnam Style" I'm kinda dragging this out and I apologize, but not to split hairs , but, Isn't a fist pump an overhead gesture? This very lackadaisical 'fucked it' thing he's doing is a little different. btw and also, could he be more fucking milque toast about it?
    That is all.

  • James Michael Curley

    Hale Bopp will not return to earth until 4350. Lets hope Jame Bopp is on it.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      He Bopp or She Bopp?

      Cuz all I saw was some fisting.

      • eggsacklywright

        Or the neuter mmmm-bop of the Hansen variety.

  • UnholyMoses

    Having lived right at the edge of the District, I'm thinking they'd be okay with seceding, as they don't really feel like they're part of the U.S. to begin with — they feel more like the bastard stepchildren who don't get a single fucking chance to decide what happens to them.

    Probably because they don't get a single fucking chance to decide what happens to them.

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      they might be stepchildren, but they definitely have to watch their parents (or parent plus some pasty fat white dude) have sex, which usually devolves to their mom shoving digits some porky pig lookalike's b-hole, but whatever. it's still scarring.

  • TootsStansbury

    Is it a fist pump or is he just to uncoordinated to manage a Nazi salute?
    Yeah, I said it.

    • freakishlywrong

      "When fascism comes to 'Murica it will be wrapped in a factory chicken parts sandwich and carrying a sticky treat"

  • comrad_darkness

    Yeah, that was the "I just fucked you good" gesture. Not a fist p/bump.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I couldn't watch that clip. What a douchebag.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    He looks like a legitimate rapist

  • LibertyLover

    I am waiting for the resolution where they decide that in the future they will do everything they can to prevent Democrats from voting at all. Or is that only something they talk about in the back rooms?

    • eggsacklywright

      Yes, in those quiet rooms. We heard it here first. Repugs are in fact trying to pass a bill that makes voting while blah (or just Dem) flat out illegal.

  • MinAgain

    Those altruistic Republicans. Always so concerned about people voting while black.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Hey, remember when the Teabaggers where chanting "no taxation without representation" because they lost an election?

  • Not_So_Much

    Is this who those little, blond Hanson boys were crooning about? "MMMBop", indeed.

  • Beowoof

    Come on he was just demonstrating how he was going have sex later. Fap, fap fap.

  • Estproph

    It would be really funny if they all moved out of DC to Northern Virginia in order to get representation, wouldn't it? Imagine Anacostia transplanted into Tyson's Corner…

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poevLGQ74Co&fe

    This is how you do that move, mister whitehead weak sauce.

    Now be glad I didn't link "come to "daddy"

  • johnnymeatworth

    Remember when Cuba sent their mental patients and criminals to the US as part of the Mariel Boatlift in 1980? Maybe it's time to start rounding up GOPers and finding somewhere to dump them….

    • Jus_Wonderin

      …if there was just some way to get all these Congresscritters in one place at the same time.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        How far is Tampa from Cuba, again?

      • bobbert

        Unlikely to be the Capitol.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    I hear DC is mostly urban voters anyway….

    What ever happened to one acre, one vote????????

  • prommie

    Who could have expected that the election of America's first black president would revive racism and make it socially acceptable again? I kinda thought it would put a stake in its heart forever, or at least put it on some long decline until only a handful of fucktarded Idaho dingbats were left. But nope, our black president has actually driven the GOP to become the loud and proud Racist Party.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It's gonna take Obama's re-election to hammer the message home. Let's hope that the decent demographic steps up to the plate in November.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    does that man have a chin?

  • x111e7thst

    If he has no hat can he still be an asshat? After watching that clip I come down on the "yes" side.

  • TootsStansbury

    Is it wrong for me to wish these mean, paranoid, bigoted, misogynist douchebags to go the fuck away forever?

  • poorgradstudent

    Remember, people of DC, these people are (literally) a stone's throw away.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Shouldn't they use their votes? Oh, wait … looks like it's gotta be stones, after all.

  • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

    Take away the expensive suit and the big salary and you've got yourself a dumb, fucking redneck.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    Fist pump? He's doing the Macarena in his chair.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I'm surprised they wouldnt' give DC 3/5 of a vote.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    This fucking stool sample ever even been to DC?

  • Fox n Fiends

    Fist pump? That's how he pleasures the Koch brothers.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Anytime one of these tools says "democrat party" …

  • TribecaMike

    No taxation without Protestant Jesus!

  • C_R_Trogloraptor

    That's no Fist Pump. I can do a much better one than that, but his face won't like it.