Perfidious cockbucket Todd Akin received enthusiastic support Tuesday from noted insane persons Phyllis Schlafly and Bryan Fischer. Remarkably, this is not expected to hurt his chances for election to the US Senate.
Reaching previously unplumbed depths of either cluelessness or chicanery — even for her — Ms. Schlafly carefully explained that Akin was not in favor of rape, a position that literally no one on the planet has claimed he was taking:
“He’s not for rape. That’s ridiculous,” said Schlafly, founder of the Eagle Forum. “They’re making a big thing about an unfortunate remark.”
Schlafly also believes that there is no such thing as marital rape, and that feminists simply made up the concept to hurt men in divorce and child custody cases, a position which is shared by alleged human being Todd Akin.
The addled old filthweasel also received full-throated support from the American Patriarchy Association’s Bryan Fischer, who simply cannot find too many superlatives for the Missouri Congressman. Needless to say, Fischer is quite certain that Akin accurately described how ladyparts actually prevent pregnancy during rape. It should be noted that this is a highly innovative and perhaps wholly fanciful understanding of the workings of ladygardens; indeed, so-called “real medical doctors” dismiss it using terms like “nonsense,” “absurd,” and “There are no words for this — it is just nuts,” so it seems responsible to say that maybe the jury is still out.
In the blinding light of Mr. Akin’s mastery of scientific truth, Fischer also patiently explained, with the help of American Patriarchy Association president Tim Wildmon, that criticism of Akin is indistinguishable from the treatment that the Pharisees gave another person who had innovative ideas on pregnancy, Our Lord Jesus Christ:
“You know the Gospel writers say that they kept looking for some way to trap Jesus in something that he might say, just one single word they could jump on to try to discredit him and that’s what they did with Todd Akin and his comments about rape,” Fischer said.
Finally, Fischer reminded us to remember the real victim in all this: The pathologically story-changing, ignorant-of-basic-biology, heroically despicable assclown Todd Akin:
Fischer lamented that “everybody is gang tackling Todd Akin.” “You talk about a forcible situation, you talk about somebody being a victim of forcible assault, that would be Todd Akin,” Fischer maintained.
All Mr. Fischer asks is that GOP officials behave themselves, and stop raping Todd Akin. Mr. Akin pledges, if elected, to support research on how babby is formed, and whether pregnancy can be affected by the motions of the planets, evil spirits, or imbalances in the bodily humours.
{ 231 comments }
We can't fix stupid but we can certainly stop voting for it.
Sure, we can, but will THEY?
What do you do about stupid people voting for more stupid people though?
What scares me is the number of Americans that will think this is just fine. We have a group in the republicans that plays down that fancy book learning and goes with common sense. As Mark Twain said, Common sense isn't very common". And the Charlie Pierce corollary which is: "and it often doesn't make much sense". We are living in an age when ignorance is celebrated, encouraged and we are in trouble for it. The rest of the world continues to laugh at us.
"The rest of the world continues to laugh at us."
Well, I'm part of the rest of the world in your scenario [as a 'resident alien' in the US]… and rest assured, I ain't laughing.
Unless you count hysteria.
Ah but you are here, if you were safe somewhere else, the shit these nitwits put would be a joke.
Twain was riffing on Voltaire, who proclaimed that common sense was one of the least common things in the world.
The best translation of the political meaning of "common sense" is "stuff everyone on my side of the issue agrees with so it must be right."
I blame that Scottish arsehole Paine and his propaganda leaflet – which really is about the perfect embodiment of this problem, since it used "common sense" to describe an extreme position that maybe a tenth of American population actually embraced – but to that ten percent, man, it was clear as day.
“You talk about a forcible situation, you talk about somebody being a victim of forcible assault, that would be Todd Akin,” Fischer maintained.
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Stick around sweetie, I'm makin popcorn for everybody!
Yeah, sure, like Kolob's gonna solve all your problems…
When I feel like that, I try to imagine the world as one giant Renaissance festival, and people like Schlafly and Fischer are the pickle vendors, because only an insane person would eat a pickle out of a barrel that's been walked around a dusty horse pasture in the hot summer sun.
It helps keep things in perspective.
*awe-stricken*
I…
I think this may be the single nerdiest thing I've ever read anywhere.
My hat is off to you.
Really? I'd go with giant turkey leg vendors – since it is ridiculously heavy in calories, doesn't have the acidic barrier of pickles and you, know, could kill you with salmonella if it wasn't cooked thoroughly. Too bad there isn't a chicken salad on white bread with extra mayo concession at Ren Faires and such – then we could really cut down on the crazy white trash population.
Also, I'm pretty sure that turkey is specific to the North American continent, so the only people eating turkey legs during the Renaissance were Native American Indians.
But what planet are THEY living on???
Bryan Fischer – Top or Bottom?
Bottom. No doubt.
Only his dildo knows for sure.
He IS the dildo.
power bottom
Yes.
Phyllis Schafly – Asshole or [that word John used to describe Cindy]?
One, she uses for talking; the other, might as well be Barbie, that thing is derelict.
Implying that he's not the middle of a hot all male gay-bashing-sandwich?
Pig Bottom, for sure.
Also, "American Patriarchy Association"? I thought that was just called "America."
They're committed to all the values of our Founding FATHERS, which include denying women the right to vote, minorities the right to vote,and non-property holding white men the right to vote. And freedumb, also, except for the slaves and proles.
is proles another word for native 'merikuns?
Say what you will about the Founding Fathers; they may have had eighteenth-century mindsets, but that's because they actually *lived* in the eighteenth century.
Missouri: The Show Me Rape state.
To call Phyllis Schlafly and Bryan Fischer brain dead parasites is an insult to tapeworms and leeches.
Since the GOP is now the American Taliban, can we start attacking them with drones??
We have Air Force bases near Tampa, don't we?
MacDill AFB. Only a hop, skip and Hellfire away.
God's sending Isaac. If you want a job done right, do it yourself.
If only Akin had a cake or chicken place, business would be hummin'…
Well, he's a cartoon human, so maybe he secretly owns Popeye's….
For those special Zatarain's spices on your fetus.
mutter . . . Forcible assault . . . mutter . . .Goddamn guidelines.
I hope these two gentlemen and that lady all have very bad days!!
With votes!
I'm drafting a strongly worded statement even as I type this.
I have decided I love this idea and plan to use my secret biological control system to also reject food I didn't mean to eat after the fact. Hey ice cream, screw YOU, you can't make me fat ever ever ever.
God, it must be great to be a woman.
In nearly every way, except "I gotta peeeee in this alley."
Same goes for "in the woods"
I knew some girls back home in Colorado who were quite adept. However, my German wife would rather explode than go in the woods…
"Hey ice cream, screw YOU, you can't make me fat ever ever ever."
Ooh! Ooh!
I want one that makes ice cream go to my boobs!
Ordinarily, breast enlargement ice creams are topically applied, which seems kind of a waste. My favorite kind, Melon Mania (with real fruit).
Jesus is like a reproductive Maxwell's demon, opening and closing the sperm door, letting only the "legitimate" sperm through.
Who would Swedish Jesus rape?
Lisbeth Salander?
If everybody always wants you to fuck them, you're incapable of rape.
Julian Assange?
Fischer lamented that “everybody is gang tackling Todd Akin.” “You talk about a forcible situation, you talk about somebody being a victim of forcible assault, that would be Todd Akin,” Fischer maintained.
Excuse me one moment.
Ahem.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Okay.
Yeah, what you said.
Withered old prune(s) said what?
To be fair, they just want to go back to the halcyon times when a woman didn't have a clitoris.
I hear the GOP is proposing a bill to require female genital mutilation: lob off the clit and sew the snatch shut. No more need for abortion and birth control. It will be all buttsecks and David Dreier and Lindsey Graham will show them all how it's done.
Female circumcision = religious freedom!
They are inching ever closer.
The way they treat women and children now is pretty much honor killing, just in slow motion.
Hmmm let's try something:
“If it’s a gang tackling, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."
Nope. Still sounds like an ignorant douche.
I heard she died, is she a zombie for jesus now? Clearly she needs more brains.
Syphilis Schlafly has always been a zombie for Jesus. With a mother like that, her queer son must be so full of self-loathing.
Phyllis Schlafly And Bryan Fischer Pretty Much Think Todd Akin Is Jesus
Let's crucify Todd Akin, then !!!
With Votes !!
Better, let's stop giving him any more publicity so that his fellow travelers will have a harder time finding him and each other.
Guess we'd have to shut down the Internet. And Fox. Also.
Are we really going to argue now that someone is "for rape"? Adding; Jesus Christ this stupid fucking country.
Real Americans watch shit on TLC. We're doomed.
No, we aren't arguing that. We're listening to someone argue that some undefined other person accused Akin of being for rape. And by golly, she denies that!
The right: the fiercest, most fearless enemy of men of straw.
Emily Latella could have made an awesome rightnut pundit, if only she were alive today.
She'd have to drop that "Nevermind" part though.
In all seriousness, and all snark aside, the USA has now become the laughing stock of the entire world.
Now you ALL KNOW what it's like to live in New Jersey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a Canadian, I can attest that we've been laughing at you guys for years… Now it's getting closer to pity, actually…
More like fear. They are too close… the crazy is started to seep northward across the border.
True story:
On vacation last week– struggling island nation near Venezuela which could easily fall to Chavez if not for the American tourist money, and don't think they don't resent many of us– I got into a loud discussion in a restaurant with a retired UPS line manager who hates unions and hates liberals and in particular, our centrist corporatist President.
When I left the restaurant, the staff came out and gave me an ovation. I hope I left a good tip.
Ha ha, I'm FROM New Jersey, so I *already* knew what it was like to be a laughing–…
Awwwwwww.
Except for Chris Christie, the Garden State is looking pretty good these days compared to Arizona, Texas, Florida, Missouri…
I'm from New Jersey, too. There's people who actually flinch and step back a little when I tell them that. It has come in hands a few times, I have to admit.
These days, I'd sure as hell rather say I'm from New Jersey than, say, Texas. Missouri. I could go on.
And they call themselves good Xtians. Not even suggesting an Asprin between the knees to ward off rape. Cause that's all it takes according to some folks.
Dr Zoom, you have hit another one out of the park.
Bwyan Fischer, eh? So, your father was a Woman?
I'd be enjoying the schadenfreude or whatever this is a lot more if the GOP hadn't let the whole "No exceptions for rape/incset" bit into their party platform.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/itsallpolitics/2012/08/2…
Proof that Akin merely said what they are all thinking, so why give him the boot? Leave him in place as their nominee, for all the world to see.
They want to give him the boot for making the non-true believers see what they want to do. This is really a quiet room topic.
Nailhead, hammer, BLAMMO.
"Akin merely said what they are all thinking [...] Leave him in place as their nominee, for all the world to see"
That's the one bright side of this whole appalling situation; it's forced those ass marmots to admit — and campaign on — their real platform, instead of sneaking the Clean Water/Slice off the Ladyparts bill past congress six months from now.
I *would* feel a lot better if I thought this would do anything to hurt their chance of getting elected, though.
NEVER FORGET the real victims of rape are in America, old white male Republican politicians and their attendant scolds and finger-pointers, whose towers of logic were crashed into by the Pharisee Terrorist Librul Media and Judas Iscariot RINO islamists.
This is the way ideas advance in the modern Republican Party. Crazy bastard says vicious, stupid shit; one by one, everyone else comes around to support crazy bastard and double down on the viciousness and stupidity. It's an organic process, and our wonderful media is surprised by it every time.
If the GOP put "adopt Sharia Law" throughout the USA, do they realize they could save about a hundred pages of printing in their platform?
Todd Akin can turn wingnuts into whine.
Actually, he is more akin to the Anti-Christ, with his followers suffering from deafness, blindness, and demonical possessions and visions.
"Mr. Akin pledges, if elected, to support research on how babby is formed…"
I literally LOL'ed.
Well, he did perform the "miracle" of keeping the Senate seat dem.
You know the Gospel writers say that they kept looking for some way to trap Jesus in something that he might say, just one single word they could jump on to try to discredit him and that’s what they did with Todd Akin
next up for todd: crown of thrones, scourging.
And the jews are never going to vote to free him.
The GOP is once again being pre-woman to the extreme and I, for one, don't understand how all of you don't get that. Since rape is not a cause of pregnancy, there will be no need any longer to force women to pay for their own rape kits. See?
That was Sarah Palin's policy in AK. Once again, she was a trailblazer.
I thought you said tailblazer…
"…you talk about somebody being a victim of forcible assault, that would be Todd Akin,” Fischer maintained.
Yup. He's lying about his rape too.
These jackasses keep promising to secede and form their own cuntry. WTF is taking them so long?
Maybe we need to try reverse psychology.
Oh, Alabama, Georgia, Missouri, please don't secede. We really, um, need you.
They reject the culture of victimhood, but they sure do wrap it around themselves when someone rejects their beliefs.
Or questions them, or states a fact that disproves one of their many absurd beliefs, or doesn't allow them to control every aspect of their lives, or looks at them cross-eyed, or does anything but fall at their feet with groveling praise.
His fellow prison counsellor describes him as "far to the right of Rush Limbaugh." So if he wins, he'll make DeMint and Inhofe look like moderates.
And this is why I'm an atheist. If there was a God, he would have struck these idiots down.
Honestly, I have a generally positive view of certain teachings in the Bible (things like helping the poor and downtrodden, being nice to immigrants, etc, which are generally ignored by these folks), I too generally consider myself in this category. The supernatural bullshit and bad history were bad enough, but having to share a label with these people, who are loud-mouthed and prolific enough that they really do manage to pretty much completely usurp the meaning of "Christian", was basically the final straw.
I'm generally cool with calling myself a Deist Universalist who cribs a lot of my religious views from Quakerism, though.
People like these are why I decided to become a Buddhist / Pastafarian.
FSM/Darwinfish 2012!
Alfredo, who art in Heaven…
"He’s not for rape"
Worst. Campaign. Slogan. Ever.
How about "Stop Forcibly Gang-Tackling Me!"?
how could he be, if it does not even exist?
Especially since that slogan will alienate his base.
I'm only surprised that his slogan didn't say, "He IS for rape".
If ever two motor-mouthed fuckholes were in dire need of a smiting, it would be these morans.
PS to Phyllis: is there a reason why you're not in the kitchen fixing me my damn sammich? Don't make me come in there and smack you around, woman!
I'd make a Phyllis Schlafly rape joke, but it'd be too easy and still unfunny.
I'm guessing she's safe.
Let's keep it reasonable– Phyllis is too old to rape anybody.
But if women get raped they should just relax and enjoy it, right? And then the the anti-baby defenses won't work, so now I'm all confused. Best to wait till Rush weighs in to clarify matters.
Rush – "why would anyone want to rape one of those women? They're all sluts! Now find me a nice 10 year old boy with smooth brown skin and we can talk about rape. Yum!"
Heee hee hee. "Rush" "weighs".
Hee hee hee!
Check this out:
When I used to live in North Carolina, the "people" there used "right" as an intensifier (like "wicked" in New England), and it was clever (for them) to use it in comic understatement. Like, if it was pouring rain and somebody came in with their clothes soaking wet, they'd say, "Hey, y'all, it's right damp out".
This reached the height of wit when somebody came out with a parody version of the "Rush is Right" bumper sticker that read, "Rush is Right Fat".
I think the GNoP put The Onion out of business. I guess it's still online – but I haven't seen a paper copy in years, and I blame these "conseratives."
The poor Onion just couldn't beat reality.
The Onion is thriving online, and nobody reads anything on paper anymore.
Au contraire, mon frere; the good people of The Onion are having a richly deserved field day with Akin:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/pregnant-woman-r…
and:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/republicans-cond…
and:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/congressman-preg…
And my personal favorite:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-misspokewhat-i…
Humors people! I'm surprised I need to remind you that we need further research into how the four bodily humors might effect the ladyparts and their receptivity to the gift of homunculi.
So maybe if there's already a toad or a small dwarf dwelling in a woman's belly, there's no room for a babby?
Oh dear, now I'm a-gettin' the vapours.
I'm guessing if a Tea Party candidate was caught in a naked black mass orgy, sacrificing goats to Lucifer, Bryan Fischer would be the first to jump to the guy's defense.
Goats lie.
You and Torgo would know all about THAT!
$>: – ]
Wait, is this another Wonkette meeting I did not hear about?
Phyllis Schlafly?? More like Phallus Shaftly!
… Because she is a huge dick.
That's all I got
Shhhhh. That taunt throughout her childhood is what caused her to turn out to be such a crazy bitch.
Fallacy Schlafly would also work.
Are you… talkin' 'bout Shaft?
Shut Yo' Mouth!
Schlafly and Fischer.
One blows, the other swallows.
I read the official republican platform yesterday….. it is batshit crazy, American Taliban stuff. If this election is even close, I want to move to Mars.
We've also got to provide tax cuts to the Sadducees, because Todd Akin is a pro-job victim/candidate.
Needless to say, Fischer is quite certain that Akin accurately described how ladyparts actually prevent pregnancy during rape.
I was surprised to find out that Fischer has a wife with lady-parts, as well as two children.
Who likely resemble the paperboy.
Okay. So we try to make the reasonable response and counter that, first of all, nobody is saying Akin thinks rape is "legitimate' or that he is somehow defending rapists. No, all we're saying is that Akin seems to be saying that sometimes women lie about being raped and that, given his expert understanding of coochie mechanics, a pregnancy is proof that there was in fact no rape…so bizzaro world QED. And their reply? A clear-eyed, bold-faced yes, yes that is what we're saying.
Fischer lamented that “everybody is gang tackling Todd Akin.”
Not me, buddy! I prefer my women with a little more meat than Skeletor there.
Well, hellooOOOO!
[shakes ass in seductive and elegant manner]
Phyllis Schlafly. Still a dusche after all these years.
And I don't mean a German shower.
Hmmm. You know what other behavior gives "addled, old filthweasels™" a bad name?
Incontinence?
Please let the anxiety dream I had last night where I never finished writing my thesis nine years ago be actual reality, and waking up in a world where I did actually finish my thesis but these people are taken seriously by half the population be the actual anxiety dream.
I use that dream when you are not, it seems. Although it's comps, I'm in my PJs, and haven't attended class in two years.
In mine, it's I've been a teacher for years (reality), but I have to take high school classes in the afternoon because I never graduated.
Being a Tbagger is a good way to assure that one is not afflicted with this particular dream…
And I went to all the trouble of getting out of bed this morning, only to be greeted by this shit. There's nothing for it but to crawl back under the covers and hope that tomorrow I wake up in a universe populated by sane people.
Tell me more about the intelligent design of these lady parts…
"Schlafly also believes that there is no such thing as marital rape"
Marital rape is just a natural form of birth control.
Pukeatronic.
Todd Akin vows to "stay in the race." I assume that he's not talking about the human race because he's never qualified for that.
Schlafly must be like, 102 or something? Satan is going to make sure she sticks around a good long time, isn't he?
Further supporting evidence that only the good die young.
"Everybody is gang-tackling Todd Akin!"
…but is it legitimate?
People have been trying to ram some sense right into Akin, and it didn't take – there must be SOME special process at work. He was right!
When legitimate logic comes along, his man parts shut the whole thing down.
*fist pump this comment like I'm on the jersey shore*
I suspect that there might be a tiny, petrified fragment of brain lodged in that big rectangular skull of his.
Yeah well your same Jesus also is on record saying "By their fruits ye shall know them" and by that standard you Patriarch-twats could never be redeemed from the guilt of your actions for all the fucknuggetry your Christ-defiling, flak-dodging, subterfug'ing words amount to.
Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me. – J. Lennon.
Also, too: Today is the final day of the Vlad the Impala tip-jar beg-a-thon (feels like NPR in here…). Won't you please help an impoverished blogger pay for his car repairs?
Thanks for the reminder Dok – I'm a terrible procrastinator.
I'd better see a photo of a "This Blog Irks Fascists" bumper sticker! When it's fixed, of course.
I wonder how much Saul Goodman charges Fischer to use his office as a studio for his teevee program?
Hahahaha fuck you all.
It all makes sense when you realize that the tea party owes more to "Alice in Wonderland" than it does to the Sons of Liberty,
Their idea of how the court system should work certainly resembles that of the Red Queen.
Ultimately, the real victim here is Sarah Palin, and I think it's only fair to call on President Obama to resign.
No, but seriously. "Perfidious cockbucket Todd Akin" — now, THAT'S how you begin a Wonkette article. Ace serve, Dok.
He did promise to steal that one from Hammiepants. Promise kept!
I also notice he had the good taste to purloin "addled old filthweasel" from Fukui, although the original was "addled filthyweasel".
Fareed Zakaria libel!
The Origin of "Filthy Weasel"
YOU FOUND IT! I just wasted the last 10 minutes of my life looking for it.
Give me a reason, plz, *not* to utter sthg about 'fist pimps' in the next thread~
adding: hit Last Activity to see The Original 'memefication'* as they called it~
ETA: *or 'mummification' — heh
Thank you, that saved me some time. Silly IntenseDebate, I really must one day get around to writing a comments system that doesn't suck – I'll take over the world!
It’s time Jesus had a sex change.
From nun to some?
Ah, so "legitimate rape" now includes people saying you're an asshole because you are?
Sorry, Bryan Fischer, nice try, but you're still only very nearly as despicable a piece of pseudohuman shit as Steve King.
54% of rape is not reported. Presumably some portion of that 54% of women are on some form of birth control. Republicans want to get rid of women's access to birth control. Won't this result in more pregnancies from rape?
didn't you read the article? Bitches be lyin'
Also, too. Lady bits shut that shit down.
Or something.
In the true Mormon tradition, Rmoney should take 3 vice presidents. Ryan, Aiken and Palen.
Romney wishes he could escape to his home planet……………
Schlafly, Akin the Fischer: the Perfect Trifecta of old Pee-Crusted Twats.
First of all, this whole discussion is depressing. Putting aside the slut shaming and the OCD level interests in rape taxonomy, I know for a fact that there are "normal" Christians out there. And I don't totally begrudge them for not having a louder voice in this discussion since I'm betting that the vast majority aren't in the leadership and have little to no ability to change it. Not only that, all these Focus on the Family type talking point bullshit mills are poisoning the trough. Sure, they could leave their church. But that misses the point of membership also to a certain degree citizenship. They have no greater power to stop their leaders from saying stupid shit and writing evolution free "science books" in the same way that we had no power to stop Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Religions are much easier to leave, sure and I don’t believe in supernatural things in general. But I know Christians who aren’t like these creepy misogynists! Seriously, I just wish Hot Scowling Jesus up there could smite those old hags for them and for me. Amen.
he's not for rape
Really? Because anyone who says pregnancy negates rape post-facto and women lie about getting raped all the time sure as shit isn't against rape.
The picture accompanying the article is not Jesus. The eyes are not blue.
You're thinking of Mullet Jesus.
What are the reasons to lie about a rape? (1) So that you won't be labeled a slut or tramp.?Ever seen or heard a rape trial. The defense's primary strategy is to call the women a tramp, slut, tease, and try to examine each and every time they have had sex in their entire life. (2) To get a free abortion? First the women has to go through a nasty medical exam that makes a prostate exam seem like a trip to Disney World, then go through hours of skeptical questioning by cops and attorneys who either have to test her for lying, or try to catch her in a lie, plus having her private life dragged out for everyone to judge. (3) To get revenge on a guy who didn't want a long term relationship? Wouldn't it be easier to key his car than put yourself in line to be smeared for months to years over a false accusation.
I am sure there are a few false accusations, but I suspect they are less common that these fools think pregnancies produced from rapes are.
I strongly suspect that the majority of the lies women tell about rape are when they deny it happened because this fucked up society has made it easier that way.
The best part about all of this? Akin reportedly would not leave the race because of his principles. Isn't that the problem here?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/the-h-word/2012…
Another sign of the Repubs wanting to return to the middle ages.
Phyllis Schafly is still around? I thought she had shuffled off this mortal coil years ago. She must about 120 years old.
All of these people can just take a flying fuck at the moon!
Proving once again there is no policy position too misogynistic for Phyllis Schlaffley.
I wonder how many women that Akin has had sex with lied about being raped by him?
"Perfidious cockbucket" AND "addled old filthweasel".
I've been awake ten minutes, and already my day is made.
I personally rather liked "another person who had innovative ideas on pregnancy, Our Lord Jesus Christ:"
Herr Doktor brought his A game today.
At least Jesus has a reason for that, given his unusual DNA.
Haploid?
That's what the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ" stands for.
"“You know the Gospel writers say that they kept looking for some way to trap Jesus in something that he might say, just one single word they could jump on to try to discredit him and that’s what they did with Todd Akin and his comments about rape,” Fischer said."
Homer: I bowled a 300! This is how Jesus must feel when he gets a perfect score!
Marge: Homer! Are you comparing yourself to our LORD??
Homer: Um… In bowling ability, yes.
Ms. Schlafly carefully explained that Akin was not in favor of rape, a position that literally no one on the planet has claimed he was taking:
You know Dok, you're right. Absolutely nobody has claimed that. With good reason, because anyone who understands even the rudiments of English knows he didn't say that. But still, just look at the guy. Look at that hard, cruel face. Those hate-filled eyes.
OK, I'll step up to the plate.
That Akins is a rape-lovin' bastard.
Seconded.
Turd.
Akins is a turd, I mean.
I also agree with Chichi, also too.
"“You talk about a forcible situation, you talk about somebody being a victim of forcible assault, that would be Todd Akin,” Fischer maintained."
Well, I've got a broomstick, a weed whacker, and some pretty sharp-looking kitchen knives.
I'm in.
Who's with me?
I am so thankful to all of these Republicans, for clarifying that my mother is a lying whore.
They've totally won my vote, right there!
I think the least you could do in return is clarify that Akin's mother is a lying whore.
I'm surprised Fischer doesn't have an image from I Spit on Your Grave as his background graphic.
Todd Akin, age 15: "Why are you raping yourself? Why are you raping yourself? Why are you raping yourself?…"
"Fischer is quite certain that Akin accurately described how ladyparts actually prevent pregnancy during rape."
I'm quite certain that I won the Mega Millions lottery; where the hell's my money?
The Republicans can seal the deal at their convention by giving Pat Buchannan a prime time speaking gig. Nobody better than him to represent the loony side in the Culture Wars.
Todd is a so-called movement conservative, meaning??
Man, that Fischer is spooky lookin'.
“You know the Gospel writers say that they kept looking for some way to trap Jesus in something that he might say, just one single word they could jump on to try to discredit him and that’s what they did with Todd Akin and his comments about rape”
Jesus fucking Christ.
Welcome back to the era between the Iron and Middle Ages.
Schafly, Akin and Rush are all from my illustrious home state. Missouri, I wish you were on a coastline so you could crumble into the ocean. Alas we'll just have to hope that global warming causes the whole state to dry up and blow away.
ah, don't feel bad, people come from lots of bad places, Iowa, Texas, Kentucky, most of the South and Midwest- and Wisconsin- and Maine too–and Idaho. Damn, we are screwed up
Wining and dining a lady before getting her pregnant can be accidental. But liars and deceivers that promise marriage, and then vamoose before the child is born are criminals. The lady has been emotionally and sexually raped. She is righteously allowed a Rape-Abortion under Bible belt laws, even if the encounter with her lover was consensual.
A Republican wacko named Akin,
Sez, what's that in your belly you're makin'?
It has that round shape
Of legitimate rape,
Either that, or lady, you're fakin'…
Gah, Phyllis Schaffley! Again. I'd vote Her off the Island if I could. How long until we're free of this empty headed blather, reactionary Umbrage and thoughtless nastiness?
When we get up off our knees, she twists the knife again.
And that odious Bryan Fisher is nothing more than a pile of Fuligo septica.
It's inevitable, you have to if you are on a 22k hike. But it's never fun.
I can think of no reason.
I miss Writey Writerton. What ever happened to that guy?
I know! Not sure. Keep reading there – il a eu quelques idées erronées~
Richard Pryor: Women never want to go to the bathroom in the woods:
[imitating a woman] No, I'm not gonna go. Something could get up there. I'll wait till we get in the car.
[as himself] Bitch, you're not gonna pee in the car!
FINALLY, a straight answer to that question! Thanks!!
"Jesus Haploid Christ" really has a ring to it. I'm surprised we don't hear it more.
SOMEBODY'S COMING!
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