OH NO. NOT AGAIN  4:17 pm August 21, 2012

Akin Clarifies Clarification: Women Just Constantly Lie About Rape All The Time

by Doktor Zoom

Clarification subject to further clarificationSerial fact-raper Todd Akin (R-R’lyeh) has decided, what the hell, since he’s clarifying things, he might as well just clarify a little more. After telling Mike Huckabee that he’s definitely still running for the Senate, and after appearing to momentarily acknowledge biological facts, Akin has now doubled down on the crazy, insisting in an interview with Dana Loesch that, actually yeah, his original claim about ladies and rape was pretty much right, maybe, except he meant “forcible,” not “legitimate” and that what he really meant to say is that ladies just plain lie about being raped so they can get them some sweet public abortion dollars. He also denies ever implying that he said that rapists were legitimate, which is good, because literally NOBODY thought he said that. Akin also appeared to backtrack on his earlier “apology,” referring to the thoroughly discredited opinions of Dr. John C. Willke, who first popularized the notion that ladyparts magically prevent pregnancy in a rape:

AKIN: You know, Dr. Willke has just released a statement and part of his letter, I think he just stated it very clearly. He said, of course Akin never used the word legitimate to refer to the rapist, but to false claims like those made in Roe v. Wade and I think that simplifies it….. There isn’t any legitimate rapist…. [I was] making the point that there were people who use false claims, like those that basically created Roe v. Wade.

Here is a recording of Akin’s forcible, illegitimate assault upon logic, reality, and the English language:

[ThinkProgress / NYT]

 

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{ 508 comments }

Dr_Zoidberg August 21, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Oh, fuck you, Akin.

SixThirty August 21, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Just do it legitimately, so no one gets preggers.

IonaTrailer August 21, 2012 at 10:05 pm

I think we need to clarify what Akins means:
Legitimate rape – must present at ER with a minimum broken jaw or arm, plus semen in vaginal tract (rectal bleeding a plus).
Non- Legit rape – woman claims she's been raped because (if the GOP have their way) being 6 weeks pregnant with 3 kids when your husband walks out isn't a good enough reason to have an abortion.
God's will. Suck it up.

Dudleydidwrong August 21, 2012 at 5:59 pm

If the Law of Gravity were suddenly repealed–just for this assclown–and he went sailing off into space, it would be a net gain for Planet Earth but the Universe would let out a collective moan and reject him. Then he would be the new Philip Nolan, "The Man Without A Planet."

IonaTrailer August 21, 2012 at 6:14 pm

This asshole is an official recipient of the "Golden Coat-hanger Award".
Ladies, get ready for a ride back to the12th Century. Did I mention if the Rethugicans win, they're changing the name of the county to Ameristan.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Also, too, issuing free burqas to all and sundry (females only).

BerkeleyBear August 21, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Damn it, I was looking forward to the freedom of never grooming myself again, like Homer's discovery of the power of the muu muu. And now my Y chromosome has disqualified me.

Oh well, back to synchronized swimming practice. What's that? Damn it all!

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 7:41 pm

I know, it's so unfair. Damn lucky duckies, those wimmenz.

outragedcitizen August 22, 2012 at 10:31 am

And yet another reason why I will never go back to Missouri.

Toomush_Infer August 21, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Actually, the ladiez just claim it for the LOLs…

boobookitteh August 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I do it whenever I'm bored.

anniegetyerfun August 21, 2012 at 4:34 pm

It's fun! So much fun, discussing being raped. My friends and I sometimes just spend our lunch hours making up rape stories. WAY better than pillow fights or braiding hair or anything.

UW8316154 August 21, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Tickle-fights!!

LocalGirlMakesGoo August 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

RAPE! LOL let's go to the mall and get some abortions and shoes.

emmelemm August 21, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I really want to make some sort of joke about fetus-skin shoes, but even I feel a little bad about it.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 21, 2012 at 4:53 pm

They would look nice though.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Oh, that's AWFUL, em, AWFUL!! Everybody KNOWS fetus-skin is much too delicate for that sort of usage. Try gloves.

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 8:24 pm

I remember Dylan singing a song like that. Fetus-Skin Pill-Box Hat

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 11:35 pm

I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at this. The visual of some valley girls saying this just put me over the edge.

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 1:08 am

"I do it whenever I'm bored."

I kill my babbys, and then make donuts out of them, so I can be whorey AND fat.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 1:54 am

Teh babbies make good donuts? Who'd'a thunk?

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 3:06 am

Actual blood libel!

HistoriCat August 22, 2012 at 9:38 am

I don't hold with those furrin recipes – I say drain the blood first. You get a more refined donut that way.

BerkeleyBear August 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I assume that since Akin's been lying about sex since junior high, he just assumes everyone does.

I actually think projection has a lot to do with claims like this, especially since the proponents are almost always men who sure look like creepy, handsy types.

miss_grundy August 21, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Projection as he's never had sex with a woman, he's just had sex with blow up dolls because this jerk sounds like a real loser. Which is why he hates women and is now claiming that women are pathological liars when it comes to rape claims. If the women in Missouri had brains in their heads, they would stone him at campaign events or throw rotten eggs and vegetables at him.

Tequila Mockingbird August 21, 2012 at 4:19 pm
zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Where's the Holy Stork?

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Flies in after all the fun has happened.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I'm very familiar with the Sin Button. Makes interesting noises when pressed.

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 8:30 pm

is that the one that when pressed says "that was easy"?

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 10:48 pm

Wow. You be hangin' wit ALL tha WRONG kinda wimmenz, dood.

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 1:11 am

It is at MY house.

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 11:37 pm

L-O-effin'-L at the "sin button." Ha!

JudasPeckerwood August 21, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I think he's just plain lying about wanting to be a Senator.

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

don't kid yourself, in that Bible belt cesspool he still stands a better than 50/50 chance of being one. The GOP money will all come home once they realize he's called their bluff and the power of irrational hatred of Claire/Obama/liberal baby killers is nothing to be underestimated

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Don't forget the power of name-recognition.

HogeyeGrex August 21, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Apparently, all advertising really is good advertising.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 21, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Plus, Missouri is not a legitimate state anyway.

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 6:43 pm

It's Compromised.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 7:02 pm

So snarky, subtle, and clever. Sarpint!

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Missouri is St. Louis on one side, Kansas City on the other, and Missourah all the way through the middle.

HistoriCat August 22, 2012 at 9:41 am

Some of the college towns are nice and college town-y but yeah.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Teabaggers are jockeying to get Sarah Steelman in, Todd refuses to step down (I believe the 5 pm deadline has passed), Repiglets and super-PACs have pulled all their money out. He tried to make it a "I'm a teabagger and we little people will fight the Republican Establishment," but Dick Armey's TeaPartyExpress and Judson Phillips' teabaggers both distanced themselves from him immediately. Now he's trying to get the religious nutbags to finance him. It's turning into a three-ring circus and forcing press attention on the fact that Ryan cosponsored some of the most extreme ladyparts regulationing ever and also the fact that the Repiglican PARTY has adopted the same exact extreme position in their official party platform. All hell breaketh loose even as we squeak. I'm delighted.

Fox E. Puppet August 21, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Just to back you up on the Ryan/Akin connection: http://goo.gl/KZvWM

And, yes, he missed his 5pm deadline, but there's a theory that Sep 25 is the 'real' deadline for withdrawing from the race (with a court order excuse)…

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Thank you, my friend.

The GOP has not stopped pressuring him. At this point, he's reduced to begging for $3 donations on his Web page. A whole ~3,000 people have signed on. The RWNJ godbag *organizations* have given him *verbal* support but, apparently, no munnies. Methinks he'll be crawling in around Sep 25 with oleaginous tears oozing down those withered cheeks. He's already sobbing about how he apologized but the Libs just want to destroy him.

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 1:13 am

"there's a theory that Sep 25 is the 'real' deadline"

So, subtracting nine months, that means the deadline became a person last December 25.

BerkeleyBear August 21, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Hey, now, Missouri has some solid liberal areas. Granted they are almost all in St. Louis or KC and the state does its darndest to disenfranchise these areas by starving them of resources on election day, but they exist.

There are also a lot of Harry Truman Democrats there. Obama almost took Missouri in 08 (the margin was less than 3000 votes) and in that same election a centrist Dem won the governor's race handily. So while I doubt Obama can even make it competitive (and I think he has stayed out to give McCaskill some more room to distance herself, since retaining her seat is critical to getting anything done for the next 4 years) McCaskill has more than a puncher's chance.

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Obama almost took Missouri in 08

Yes, Missouri – only a little more backwards than Indiana.

:P

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 10:20 pm

It's starting to look like MO women are agreeing with you. Just a week ago, Akin was leading McCaskill by double digits. Today, he has a ONE-point lead.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Must be. He's dropped from a ten-point lead over McCaskill to a single point. Doesn't help that he keeps "explainicatamating" hisself.

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 1:14 am

It helps us.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 1:57 am

You don't hear *me* complaining, sweetcakes.

johnnymeatworth August 21, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Can we start paying prisoners to rape him until he gets pregnant?

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 4:24 pm

With votes, you mean

Jus_Wonderin August 21, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Actor, were you the one that commented "Dude, quit diggin' that hole!!"

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I was, aye. And for this precise reason: we could and should be focusing on Romney's tax returns and Ryan's attempts to strike Social Security down. The convention is next week. That discussion gets lost until after Labor Day, and who knows what will come up after that.

Chet Kincaid_ August 21, 2012 at 7:26 pm

The Democratic Convention will be a Festival Of Tax Returns and Social Security. But you're underestimating women if you think this discussion of the War On Themselves won't affect the Presidential election. And issues that affect Congressional races are important too, unless you want another 4 years of Congress completely obstructing anything Obama tries to do.

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Here's the beauty of this situation: we've got so many good fronts to attack these two from. We can always go back to the tax returns, and we can always go back to their views on women's health issues. It's not an either/or.

BerkeleyBear August 22, 2012 at 12:57 am

Idiot Rom Rom has announced he's gonna drop his 2011 return (the only other one we are getting, remember?) by October 15. He is, in fact, gonna October Surprise himself, by all but guaranteeing that the last two weeks of the campaign are about what he's hiding. That, or he'll blow the deadline (making it even worse), or suddenly be forthcoming with more (which makes him a caving liar for all his past stonewalling).

Seriously, the biggest issue with Mitt is knowing which fuckups to focus on and which ones to let go – especially when the best the other side can do is try to resurrect the Joe the Plumber and "gods and guns" lines from 4 years ago. I'm not smart or seasoned enough to second guess Plouffe, Axelrod et al on this.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Dude, it's gonna take a while … oh, wait. I think I get it.

AlterNewt August 21, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I am anxious to hear more from this gentleman.

rickmaci August 21, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Me too. Less than 80 days to go before the election and we will spend at least another week and more, probably well past the Retardlican convention, talking about this guy and the attack (a word I use very carefully given the topic) on reproductive rights in their party platform. The President can beat them mercilessly over the head with their moronic positions and never get hit by them on his most vulnerable issues, like the economy and health care.

RedneckMuslin August 21, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Me too but I think his hari- kari has concluded.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Nope. He's staying in the race and has just flipped the Koch brothers the finger. Hang in there, it's just *starting* to get interesting. Every second this misogynist asshole occupies the media starlings is one more second they spend eyeballing his connection with the Republican ticket.

BerkeleyBear August 21, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Does he, perhaps, have a newsletter we can subscribe to?

AlterNewt August 21, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Certainly not a hot lesbian newsletter.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 22, 2012 at 12:53 am

There are non-hot lesbian newsletters?

AlterNewt August 22, 2012 at 1:19 am

A point well taken.

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 3:05 am

I take it you don't subscribe to Rosie O'Donnell's facebook.

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 11:43 pm

Then you're going to have an anxiety attack, because there is nary a gentleman in sight.

Hammiepants August 21, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I liked life better two days ago when I had no clue who this perfidious cockbucket was.

emmelemm August 21, 2012 at 4:23 pm

+ 1

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

And I thought I was clever calling him an "obtusicle"…

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 1:19 am

Is an an obtusicle an obstacle in your tush?

anniegetyerfun August 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I now know what I want the title of my first novel to be.

Nostrildamus August 21, 2012 at 6:34 pm

"Nancy Drew and the Perfidious Cock-bucket" ?

HogeyeGrex August 21, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Totes my new band name.

WhatTheHeck August 21, 2012 at 4:48 pm

There’s many more like him dragging their knuckles in the 5,000 year old republican world.

kittensdontlie August 21, 2012 at 4:55 pm

What a shame. In Romneyworld, you could wash away those days from your mind retroactively, not so in this Obamanation.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 7:07 pm

"perfidious cockbucket"? Run away with me!

Hammiepants August 21, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Flaming invective is my specialty.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Then we'll get along like a house afir … uh, very well, that's the ticket.

Hey, your Tumblr blog requires a name and password, man. I ain't got no Tumblr account.

Hammiepants August 21, 2012 at 10:38 pm

I hardly ever update it. I'm mostly on FB or here. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Doktor Zoom August 22, 2012 at 3:22 am

Totally stealing that for the next Akin post…

Hammiepants August 22, 2012 at 11:40 am

My pleasure! Enjoy it in good health!

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Todd, perhaps you should take heed of the wisdom of Confucius, as told by Tex Antoine (and periphrased by yours truly): "When a self-inflicted buttfucking is inevitable, lay back, relax, and enjoy it."

AncienReggie August 21, 2012 at 6:53 pm

He should have gone with Robert Benchley: "Drawing upon my vast command of the English language, I said nothing."

Of course I enjoyed Erick Erickson's characterization of this douchetool revealing his actual beliefs as a "gaffe." Yeah, right. Ill advised honesty is always a gaffe for these cretins.

Pennywhistler August 21, 2012 at 10:58 pm

God damn! Uncle Wethbee's partner? Whooda thunk it?

I lost treack of him after he announced the radio Adventures of Archie Andrews

1stNewtontheMoon August 21, 2012 at 4:23 pm

this is about the time el rushbo and st. sean the altar boy call him back up and ask him to spend more time with his family (which was totally NOT created by rape).

Mumbletypeg August 21, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Even the rapists themselves are starting to think this guy is a twisted, sick fuck.

Jus_Wonderin August 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

"Alex, I'll take The Rapists for 400."

not that Dewey August 21, 2012 at 5:06 pm

"Hey, we're just psychopaths, man. What's this guy's excuse?"

RadioBowels August 21, 2012 at 5:08 pm

He's a psychopathic, rapist….politician.

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Quadruple whammy!

rickmaci August 21, 2012 at 5:15 pm

He is just plain stupid.

Lot_49 August 21, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Particularly the illegitimate rapists. "Who's this Akin guy calling us bastards?"

Warwhatgoodfor August 21, 2012 at 7:35 pm

As in : we got an excuse, we was born fucked up. What's your whiny, pissant, wanker, bitchy little reason , bitch?

boobookitteh August 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Am I missing something? (probably) But what does rape have to do with Roe v. Wade?

One is a terrible crime. The other is a Supreme Court decision that protects me from other people sticking their nose in my pregnancy bizniss.

Pls explain. Kthx.

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm

It's a wriggle-room thing: if you throw the "exception in the case of rape" thing in his face, he can claim that since a woman can't get pregnant from a "real rape" there's no need for an abortion so no exception need be granted.

boobookitteh August 21, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Roe v. Wade protects privacy for all women and their pregnancy business. Not just rape survivors. I hate to be a pedant, but I am really annoyed at how people are obfuscating the basic right to privacy that Roe is based upon. It's nobody's fucking business why I want an abortion and it's nobody's fucking business if I'm getting one – or two or twenty.

I am fairly outraged that we are backsliding to the days when women couldn't even take birth control pills without society getting up in their vaginas, never mind having a legitimate medical procedure (pun intended).

comrad_darkness August 21, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Thanks, I was wondering this too. The only conclusion I could reach was that we are getting a glimpse inside the well-established ignoramus worldview of the right including their reinvention of the history of the constitution and supreme court decisions. This has been happening more lately. There is batshit rhetoric, already strangely well formed, leaking out about other supreme court cases.

Chet Kincaid_ August 21, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I can go look this up myself, but I have never really understood how the hand-wave of "right to privacy" with regard to abortion is all that need be said. The most convincing Pro-Life argument (to aim at men, I suppose) to me is that you can't force someone to sacrifice their Actual Life for a Potential Life/Partial Life. In the same way that you can't force me to get my bone marrow yanked out to save my brother's life. Is that what is implicit in the "privacy" argument?

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 8:34 pm

The relevant parts of the decision (citations omitted throughout):

In a line of decisions, … the Court has recognized that a right of personal privacy, or a guarantee of certain areas or zones of privacy, does exist under the Constitution. In varying contexts, the Court or individual Justices have, indeed, found at least the roots of that right in the First Amendment; in the Fourth and Fifth Amendments; in the penumbras of the Bill of Rights; in the Ninth Amendment; or in the concept of liberty guaranteed by the first section of the Fourteenth Amendment. These decisions make it clear that only personal rights that can be deemed "fundamental" or "implicit in the concept of ordered liberty" are included in this guarantee of personal privacy. They also make it clear that the right has some extension to activities relating to marriage; procreation; contraception; family relationships; and childrearing and education.

I read that as saying that the right to privacy protects the exercise of other rights the Court has recognized, not that the Court protects rights to preserve privacy.

This right of privacy, whether it be founded in the Fourteenth Amendment's concept of personal liberty and restrictions upon state action, as we feel it is, or, as the District Court determined, in the Ninth Amendment's reservation of rights to the people, is broad enough to encompass a woman's decision whether or not to terminate her pregnancy. The detriment that the State would impose upon the pregnant woman by denying this choice altogether is apparent. Specific and direct harm medically diagnosable even in early pregnancy may be involved. Maternity, or additional offspring, may force upon the woman a distressful life and future. Psychological harm may be imminent. Mental and physical health may be taxed by child care. There is also the distress, for all concerned, associated with the unwanted child, and there is the problem of bringing a child into a family already unable, psychologically and otherwise, to care for it. In other cases, as in this one, the additional difficulties and continuing stigma of unwed motherhood may be involved. All these are factors the woman and her responsible physician necessarily will consider in consultation.

The start of this is a little confusing, but I feel this section as a whole backs up my earlier statement that the right to privacy is protecting the exercise of a right otherwise discovered, not creating a new right. The Court had earlier engaged in an exercise of originalism and determined that at the time of the founding fathers, women had access to legal abortion – neither state statutes nor English common law at that time prohibited it, the state legislation to proscribe the procedure was mostly the product of the mid-19th century. Furthermore, they examined the various claims for what motivated that legislation: first they dismissed as unserious the notion that it was to discourage promiscuous behavior; then they found the only legitimate motivation at the time was to protect women against the health risks (e.g. sepsis) the procedure posed in the 19th century, before further finding that as medical science had made early-term abortion safer than childbirth, that interest was no longer sufficient to justify interference in a right found in the liberty protected by due process; finally they dismissed as illegitimate any claim of fetal right-to-life, although recognizing some state interest in protecting potential life which becomes more compelling as fetal viability increases.

BerkeleyBear August 22, 2012 at 1:13 am

To a degree, yes. Privacy is sort of this catchall provision (as illustrated from sullivanst's citations) that grows out of awkward cases in a lurching, almost amoeba-like fashion up to Roe, and then gets beat to hell by Rehnquist and Scalia and the right attacks as poorly constructed (which it was, by virtue of the very restraint the right now claims was lacking – because the Warren and Burger Courts dealt with everything issue by issue).

Really, the thing the right should be willing to accept if they were at all consistent is that the entire Bill of Rights was about freedom from government intrusion on a person's conscience – their personal thoughts and actions that do not impact society writ large. Abortion should be right in the middle of all that, if you think about it. As you say, it might be noble of me to save someone else, but only my own conscience can dictate if I do it directly or not.

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 1:32 am

"The most convincing Pro-Life argument (to aim at men, I suppose) to me is that you can't force someone to sacrifice their Actual Life for a Potential Life/Partial Life. In the same way that you can't force me to get my bone marrow yanked out to save my brother's life."

Ellen Willis made that argument very convincingly in her book of essays "No More Nice Girls". The standard in both ethics and law, that's been upheld over and over again, is that a *person* can't take precedence over a *person* — i.e., my cousin can't *force* me to donate a kidney. So fetal personhood — even if it could be established — is irrelevant. In order for a fetus' rights to prevail, either the fetus has to be superhuman, or the woman has to be less than human (which is what they believe, but has no legal standing).

BerkeleyBear August 21, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Sorry, booboo, but blame the 9 old men who decided Roe for determining that although a fetus isn't a life the state has a compelling interest in protecting potential life, and that interest grows as the fetus comes closer to viability until eventually it exceeds the woman's rights entirely.

At the time, this worked out fairly evenly in theory (but not in reality) – first trimester no one has a right to stop a woman, second trimester it is a balancing act, third trimester the state can prevent abortion. But then science had to go and prove fetal viability at earlier and earlier stages, so the presumption in favor of the state's rights got pushed back earlier and earlier (now generally after 20 weeks it is damn near impossible to get a legal abortion in many states). It is still a woman's right to get an abortion before then, but old white people (almost always men) keep finding that various regulations are not unduly burdensome on that right – little things like having to be told you are making a horrible choice, having to get your parents permission if you are a minor, having to wait several days from first appointment/counseling to actual procedure, forcing you to get a sonogram/heartbeat monitor just so you know what an awful person you really are, etc. The trans-vaginal assaults are supposedly in this same category, although those laws have largely wilted under legal challenges. Still, all this fun along with having to wade through assholes calling you a murderer for doing what any number of their mothers should have done is the price of freedom.

The rape and health of the mother exceptions arose because in those limited circumstances, the woman has two sets of rights she's asserting – her basic privacy right along with a compelling right to maintain her own mental and physical health. So as not to seem like complete draconian assholes, these exceptions have been recognized as overriding the state's interests even in cases of post viability abortions. However, as the right wing Sharia has crept into the GOP leadership, they've pressed to repeal the health of the mother on the grounds that it is too vague – even McCain argued this at one point. They've also derided the rape exception. But fence straddlers like Romney still don't like the optics of forcing rape victims to carry their attackers' babies, so they support these exceptions even as they tout overturning Roe. Which is rather stupid, on the whole, and certainly lacking any moral consistency, but it is Mitt – what do you expect.

Truth is, this entire issue is bullshit. Abortion should be about a woman's conscience, and her conscience alone, which is precisely the sort of liberty the Founders understood and attempted to enshrine in the First Amendment. Unless and until we can ensure every conceived fetus an awesome life with no burdens on the mother (ie eliminating reproduction as it exists) it is just an idiotic topic to discuss, much less legislate. But it didn't get argued that way, it wasn't decided on that basis, so we all get to live in the fallout.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 2:12 am

Dammit, BB, you read my mind and RETROACTIVELY obliged me! (Hugs the cuddlesome bear)

Thanks, man.

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 1:27 am

"Roe v. Wade protects privacy for all women and their pregnancy business. Not just rape survivors. I hate to be a pedant, but I am really annoyed at how people are obfuscating the basic right to privacy that Roe is based upon."

It's called "moving the goalposts". In two days we've gone from discussing whether women can have access to a legally protected medical procedure all the time, to whether women can have access to a legally protected medical procedure EVER, no middle ground.

It's really goddamn scary when you think about it.

Warwhatgoodfor August 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Wound up in the wrong spot, so to actor212; Truer words were never spoken.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 21, 2012 at 4:31 pm

If I'm understanding Mr. Akin's 'argument', he's channeling Joe Wilson and yelling "YOU LIE!" at you.

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:38 pm

purt much…

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 7:51 am

East Tennessee?

Doktor Zoom August 21, 2012 at 4:53 pm

"In June 1969, Norma L. McCorvey discovered she was pregnant with her third child. She returned to Dallas, Texas, where friends advised her to assert falsely that she had been raped in order to obtain a legal abortion (with the understanding that Texas law allowed abortion in cases of rape and incest). However, this scheme failed because there was no police report documenting the alleged rape"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roe_v._Wade

i.e., if there's no rape exception, women can't lie about rape to get an abortion.

Women who get raped can enjoy a precious gift from the Lord

boobookitteh August 21, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Ah. Thank you. I was unaware of that.

Of course I'm just going to note here that rape is an abysmally underreported crime, so there may not be a police report.

Also, it is not entirely inconceivable that if the options are (as it seems it was for Ms. McCorvey) lying about being raped to obtain a legal, safe abortion or having some back alley butcher pop you on their kitchen table and perform the abortion with barely rinsed off coat hangers, some women may choose to lie about being raped to save their life and fertility.

emmelemm August 21, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Ugh. And the whole point of "Roe" was to be Anon Y. Mouse, so that shit like this wouldn't be dragged into the decision. Yeah, that worked out real well.

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Of course, no part of the decision in Roe hinged in any way upon the fact that she was denied the abortion because she had no police report documenting a rape. Had the state allowed her the procedure under the rape exception, the case would never have come to court, or rather, wouldn't until later, with a different petitioner. Had the state not had a rape exception, the case would have proceeded slightly quicker due to lack of application for, and denial of, dispensation under the exception, but otherwise identically.

But then, any kind of logical basis is something that's almost always conspicuously absent from these guys' attempts at argumentation.

IonaTrailer August 21, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Lying sluts.

coolhandnuke August 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

If you find yourself in a Missouri Senate race…keep digging until you reach the 1800's.

An_Outhouse August 21, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I believe somone pointed out somwhere today that this belief was first documented in 1200's. Todd has been a very busy gopher to reseurrect this bit of ancient misbelief.

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Buddy, they passed the 1800's decades ago. They've damn-near breached the wall of pre-history.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 7:54 am

Um…Jesus on a dinosaur? They've breached pre-history AND the Holy Land of the Lost.

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 8:39 am

LOL @ "Holy Land of the Lost."

I had forgotten that there is no such thing as pre-history, since the earth is only a spritely 6,000 years old, and its history fully recorded in the Bible.

CthuNHu August 21, 2012 at 4:25 pm

C'mon, men lie about rape all the time; why shouldn't we expect women to do it too?

Once again, feminists are the real sexists.

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Wait. I thought we lied about being turned into newts?

Chichikovovich August 21, 2012 at 5:46 pm

No, we actually were turned into newts. But we got better.

AlterNewt August 21, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Well…

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 7:12 pm

*Some* of us did.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 21, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I know that anytime you get me and my buds in a bar having drinks, it is all "Yeah, I raped her, do it again too, but this time I'm doing it illegitimately." Guys and their bragging.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 7:14 pm

I've known guys to brag about rape. They don't *call* it rape, of course. It's all, "yaknow, I knew she wanted it, SHE knew she wanted it, but they just gotta play this little game, yaknow, being good girls or whatever that shit is, I gotta golden pussy. So I threw her on the bed, knocked the wind outa the bitch, and she kinda stopped pushing on me at that point."

Bet you've heard it too.

Fare la Volpe August 21, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I knew a guy who used to brag about gagging a one-night stand with his dick (and without asking her first, mind) to the point that she threw up and nearly passed out.

Some sick fucking fucks out there.

glasspusher August 21, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Classy. Yes there are, sadly- which is why the law sez rape is rape. The world isn't your perfect house, stupids…

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Yup.

Remind me to tell you about the Biryani Murders some time.

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 1:40 am

I've always thought that the guy in the second letter (DEPART) and his roommate should both die of dick rot:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 2:15 am

My partner and I often read Danny's columns to each other (it's *our* idea of foreplay. Laughter makes the pants slide off faster).

That letter put us right out of the mood for quite a while. I just hope both those pricks got theirs.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 7:58 am

True story. I knew some guys in college who told an uproariously "funny" story about gang banging a passed out drunk woman and then dumping her in a ditch (still breathing). They thought it was much fun.

Even then, in my impressionable youth, I was nauseated.

HistoriCat August 22, 2012 at 10:19 am

I am pretty much done with humanity at this point. Can someone stop the world? I want to get off.

Lot_49 August 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Just like Obama is a racist trying to loot Medicare. And John Kerry was a coward rather than a war hero.

Warwhatgoodfor August 21, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Damn straight. Got me seventeen of them this weekend, and still got Sunday to go. Yup. Fuckin' A.

Steverino247 August 21, 2012 at 4:26 pm

“There are no words for this — it is just nuts,” said Dr. Michael Greene, a professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive biology at Harvard Medical School.

There's your headline for every newspaper in America tomorrow.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 21, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Except the WSJ: "Rape-comment candidate stands firm; donations increase"

gogogodzilla August 21, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Stupid expert. What does he know.

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Isn't he also one of the scientists who has disproven Global Warming?

comrad_darkness August 21, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Hah. If only.

Tequila Mockingbird August 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm
SorosBot August 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Hey I posted that one in a morning thread!

Tequila Mockingbird August 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Whoops, sorry, Soros, I didn't see it, honest. Great minds, etc. I just found the article myself a few minutes ago.

SorosBot August 21, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Nah, just teasing; it's not like it was here, no one can be expected to read every comment on every post.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 7:16 pm

I swear, you can't hardly tease ANYbuddy around here, wut with peeps taking you all seriously and stuff.

T3rbo August 21, 2012 at 5:22 pm

http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-misspokewhat-i

You see, what I said was, “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” But what I meant to say was, “I am a worthless, moronic sack of shit and an utterly irredeemable human being who needs to shut up and go away forever.”

WhatTheHolyHeck August 22, 2012 at 9:21 am

Countdown until it hits Literally Unbelievable.

Edit: Wow, that was fast.

viennawoods13 August 22, 2012 at 10:47 am

Favorite line…. "Those poor diluted people."

fartknocker August 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

This guy is starting to look and sound like Jerry Sandusky. And Rinse Prebus is shitting porcupine needles every time this guy speaks.

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Maybe we can get Bob Costas to interview him.

Sharkey August 21, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Or Chris Hansen!

FlownOver August 21, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Lather, Reince, repeat.

Rotundo_ August 21, 2012 at 7:35 pm

For that reason, and that reason alone, I am enjoying this; the mental image of Reince with a load of quills in his nasty just makes me beam. I am beginning to wonder how much longer the establishment republicans will put up with these hayseeds and do to them what was done with the S.A. by the Nazis when they were no longer of use.

One_who_wanders August 22, 2012 at 10:43 am

That is the best part of this watching the GOP squirm.

I like this: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/closeread/2

anniegetyerfun August 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I missed this, because I was busy being drunk and sexin' ladies, but back in 1998, Fay Boozman lost a Senate race after making similar stupid comments (apparently Magic Rape Shutdown Vaginas are a common idea in conservative Science?).

Whatever became of Boozman? Oh, Huckabee hired him to serve Arkansas' Health Department.

I fucking HATE that there are people out there who believe that Huckabee is anything other than an extremely dangerous demagogue. He supports these nutjobs 100%.

emmelemm August 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Why is a dude named Fay?

anniegetyerfun August 21, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Saxby. Lindsey. Fay. There is no pattern there.

emmelemm August 21, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I know, I know…

I've never heard of a girl named Saxby (but then again, I'm not from the South), and at least there's Lindsey/Lindsay to differentiate…

anniegetyerfun August 21, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I know a couple female “Lindsey”s, so I say it's a pointless differentiation now.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 21, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Part fairy?

emmelemm August 21, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Almost certainly.

Rotundo_ August 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Just the reproductive organs.

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:40 pm

the parents didn't quite get the hang of the whole baby naming thing until his younger brother John was born

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 4:42 pm

His parents had already named his brother Gay?

emmelemm August 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Hah! Good one.

Chichikovovich August 21, 2012 at 5:49 pm

His parents named him after Autos-de-Fé

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Is his nick-name Cars?

fuflans August 21, 2012 at 4:50 pm

being drunk and sexin ladies is a much better way to go thru life than paying attention to fay boozeman.

or mike huckabee.

rickmaci August 21, 2012 at 5:23 pm

The religious conservatards have been floating this one since, well the Middle Ages. Back then the idea was if a woman got pregnant it couldn't be a rape because fertilization could not occur without orgasm happy sperms and eggs. Of course they also thought the earth was flat, the sun revolved around the earth…

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm

They also hadn't the first idea how babby was formed. The Aristotelian belief that male ejaculate contained fully formed microhumans and women were merely incubators prevailed until at least, what, the 18th or 19th century?

viennawoods13 August 22, 2012 at 12:48 am

And yet they still blamed the wimmen for birthin girls instead of boys.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:01 am

So, masturbating created mobs, with tiny pitchforks?

FlyOverGirl August 22, 2012 at 8:42 am

You mean like they did last week?

T3rbo August 21, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Oh, you didn't know? Huckabee has an honorary degree (PhD) in lady parts from Bob Jones University

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Fay? Seriously?

BTW, Huckabee is totally unthreatening because he smiles when he says horrible things. Also, because he plays the guitar. Too.

anniegetyerfun August 22, 2012 at 12:33 am

Yes, that's why my mother keeps telling me he's the “good kind of conservative.”

Major Thom August 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Douchebag says what??

LastGasp August 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

There isn’t any legitimate rapist
Not yet, but if the Republicans win in November expect for them to create the post of Legitimate Rapist, a government-funded job for die-hard misogynists.

PubOption August 21, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I assume that candidates must show their parents' marriage license.

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Part of the Office of Faith-based Initiatives.

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 11:55 pm

This one hundred times over.

Blueb4sinrise August 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

That man is a danger to other people.

tonydefined August 21, 2012 at 8:37 pm

most republicans are bad for people

Fukui-sanYesOta August 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Even Willard has just said he should quit the race.

This non-apology is awesome. "Hey, I said some stuff, and people were angry, but I was right. Also, too, I meant something else which I didn't even talk about because elect me!"

This addled filthyweasel needs to be writing illiterate letters to small-town newspapers, not running for office.

SorosBot August 21, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Well of course Willard wants him to quit the race; when it comes to destroying women's rights Akin and Ryan have worked together for years, and support the same policies and believe the same things, Ryan just hasn't said anything quite as overtly woman-hating and Romney doesn't want to remind voters of his running mate's medieval views on women.

Callyson August 21, 2012 at 5:04 pm

That's because they prefer having those discussions in a quiet room somewhere.

Assholes.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:02 am

He's running for President, for Pete's sake!

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

"needs to be writing illegitimate letters"

fixt

Fukui-sanYesOta August 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm

forcibly illegitimate letters?

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:47 pm

writing illiterate letters to small-town newspapers is HOW you run for office. in Missouri

Mojopo August 21, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I agree, and for saying, "Right, right," Dana Loesch should buy his word processor. BE his word processor.

Chichikovovich August 21, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Though one should also observe that Mitt didn't ask him to resign his seat in the House. Or not run for reelection there.*

*Hat tip to Balloon Juice.

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Willard wants him to quit the race so the bad publicity will stop but Willard is simultaneously happy to have all of Akin's batshit crazee ideas written into the Republican platform.

As usual with Rmoney, right is left, left is right, and vice versa at the same time.

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Willard wants Akin to stop generating headlines that reveal the true agenda of the Republican party, is all.

This is the classic political gaffe: saying what you believe when you didn't mean to.

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 12:00 am

Isn't it crazy that in politics, a "gaffe" is when you tell the truth?!

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 2:20 am

He needs to be hoofin' around town askin' folks to hold his cock and pullet while he scratches his ass. (I think I got that from J_W, blame him.)

PsycWench August 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Well, I'm sure that made the RNC so much more willing to throw money at him, now that he's explained how women lie about rape and all.

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

give it two weeks- that money will all be back. once the power brokers realize he's called their bluff and ain't quitting (they have zero leverage on this goober), they'll quietly go back to funding his campaign. They REALLY want that Senate seat

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 2:21 am

They're REALLY not lookin' so good to get it. The wimminz has fled from the fucker's campaign like ants from poisoned bait. His support among ladyparts-owners has dropped to 30% or below. Last I heard, it's still dropping, since he can't stop explicatamating hisself.

Warwhatgoodfor August 21, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Well, hell yes. He's just defending the honor of southern gentlemen.

zwoits August 21, 2012 at 10:18 pm

the sluts

SayItWithWookies August 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Wow. This motherfucker must've set an endurance record for being stupid without having decapitated himself with a chainsaw by now. I am just stunned.

Jus_Wonderin August 21, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I have to think the only way he could be decapitated with a chainsaw is if he got his tongue wrapped round his eyetooth and fell on to it. Or, if some disgusted woman type helped him out.

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 5:01 pm

or if he found himself handcuffed in the back seat of a squad car in Arkansas- these things happen ya know…

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:03 am

Obvious suicide.

And I think you meant "black seat".

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 8:43 am

That is a horribly appropriate zing.

fuflans August 21, 2012 at 4:27 pm

it's almost 5 PM MO. do you know where your senate candidates are?

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:53 pm

inside someone's uterus?

Spurning Beer August 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I remember hearing as a student of anthropology long ago that in South Sea island cultures where active sexuality among young adolescents is socially sanctioned, pregnancy was rare for reasons that were not understood. I have no reason to believe that this is more plausible than Mr. Akins' theory, but it seems to be completely the opposite — it wasn't forcible sex that was unlikely to produce pregnancy, but enthusiastic youthful sex.

SayItWithWookies August 21, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Are you thinking of Margaret Meade's Coming of Age in Samoa? After her death it was discovered that the girls who were her sources were probably making stuff up for their own amusement and Meade bought it.

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I know that I hardly ever got pregnant when I was having enthusiastic youthful sex.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 21, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Sadly, I was alone when I was having enthusiastic youthful sex.

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 5:08 pm

*whew*

I thought it was just me

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 5:13 pm

That is sad. I hope you are making up for it now.

elviouslyqueer August 21, 2012 at 5:58 pm

I continue to have enthusiastic youthful sex, and I've never gotten pregnant!

Wait, what?

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Must be those spastic tubules of yours.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 2:25 am

What Wooks said, and also too, at least in the communal dwellings of tribal peoples in India and much of Southeast Asia, the whole purpose of allowing boys and girls to leave their natal homes and have enthusiastic sex without their disapproving parental units around is to ensure that the young couple is compatible sexually as well as in other ways, to take the edge off the tremendous hormonal rush of youth at that age, and *to determine that the couple is fertile.* Having a low rate of pregnancy would hardly be helpful under the circs.

bikerlaureate August 21, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Looking for more tidbits of widsom from Huckabee, I found this steaming pile:

Akin said he was not the only candidate ever to “suffer from foot-in-mouth disease,”

Just… just wow.

adding: “The good people of Missouri nominated me and I’m not a quitter."

.

Maybe we need to popularize and market a movement to reform the Confederate States of America (which, Wikipedia tells me, includes this Show-Me Wasteland, "claimed by the CSA without formal secession and/or control".) Right at this moment I'm not snarking.

Incitefully_Joe August 21, 2012 at 4:43 pm

I have difficulty believing that good is a word that can be used to describe the people of Missouri who nominated him.

Callyson August 21, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Akin said he was not the only candidate ever to “suffer from foot-in-mouth disease”

The scary thing is that he is right about that much:

Todd Akin hasn't lost all his friends, yet.
Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) weighed in on the controversy surrounding Akin's rape comments on Monday, defending the embattled Missouri Senate candidate as a "strong Christian man" in an appearance on KMEG News…
King said he did not know the full context of Akin's remarks, but characterized the criticism as "petty, personal attacks."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/21/steve-ki

Asshole.

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Typical Steve King, "I don't know anything about that, but I won't let it stop me from having an opinion."

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 7:15 pm

If he merely had an opinion it wouldn't be so bad, but Steve King can't have an opinion without feeling compelled to vomit it all over the public.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 2:31 am

Don't worry about it. There's some boiling mad LayDeez out there just spilin' for a fight, and they appear to have Rep. King's tentacles firmly in their grasp. He'll be singing in E above high C any minute now. As for Akin, there is SO much vituperation being directed his way that I'm no longer sure he *can* hold his seat. Consider, for instance, that the Akin-friendly media is now referring to Akin's opponent as "the formerly-vulnerable incumbent," and take heart. Rep. King might just find his own seat endangered next.

In more good news, Michele Bachmann's numbers have fallen so low in recent polling that even her backers are beginning to think she's vulnerable to a take-down. Good times, good times. (chuckles evilly)

HistoriCat August 22, 2012 at 10:26 am

Stop it – you're getting my hopes up.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I'm not staying behind in this world if you're not in it. It's as simple as that. (Hugs HistoriCat fondly)

Dudleydidwrong August 21, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Both Fuckabee and Akin are steaming piles. Fuckabee seems to be saying that we need more forcible rapes to create good, god-fearing people. Both of these men are dog vomit and yet some call them "Christian leaders."

Dashboard Buddha August 21, 2012 at 6:27 pm

So basically, what Huck is saying is if you get raped, make rape-ade?

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 7:09 pm

And he prays to Jesus that you'll be making that rapeade yourself without any help from evil Obamacare or any of those other Socialist programs promoted by Democrats.

shelwood46 August 21, 2012 at 6:35 pm

IFC is running the Spike Lee produced movie "CSA" again on Thursday. It's an interesting watch, basically positing that the CSA won the war and ran the (old) US from 1865 on. It's a "fun" thought experiment, and it's interspersed with fake ads for real racist products.

viennawoods13 August 21, 2012 at 7:51 pm

I watched it the other day on youtube when someone here (maybe you?) mentioned it. IIt is definitely interesting.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I suspect he’s a product of home schooled sex education.

LocalGirlMakesGoo August 21, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Buttsecks Baby Libel!

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 21, 2012 at 5:05 pm

As was Jerry Falwell.

Mittens Howell, III August 21, 2012 at 5:45 pm

A home schooled sex education would be a necessary qualification in order to vote for this guy.

mrpuma2u August 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Why isn't he hiding in his basement? This guy had a shame-ectomy done by some faith healer surgeon or something. What an epic tool.

Meatsticks August 21, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Why are we not running these people out of town with pitchforks and torches? Serious, wtf?

SorosBot August 21, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Yeah, I'm sure women lie about being raped all the time, considering how society constantly condemns rape victims, accuses them of lying, calls them sluts and most of the time the rapists end up going scott free.

shelwood46 August 21, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Of course. It's just like all those people choosing the wonderful lifestyle of being a gay, because of all the respect and special privileges they get.

WhatTheHeck August 21, 2012 at 4:30 pm

This guy just keeps digging deeper and deeper into that hole.
One day soon he’ll emerge in China.

doloras August 21, 2012 at 6:19 pm

合法强奸

Veritas78 August 21, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I'm sure they'll appreciate his constructive thoughts about how their one-child policy is achieved.

RadioBowels August 21, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Yes, finally, a poster child for the wingtards.

Goonemeritus August 21, 2012 at 4:32 pm

There are so many things in the world that are beyond my comprehension, I am however very sure that Crises Management team advising Congressman Akin’s is not earning their keep.

MaxNeanderthal August 21, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Ah, this is the new tactic, the "non-apology apology", (copyright: R Murdoch), aka, the "I was wrong but not really wrong, only wrongly misquoted out of context" defence

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 2:59 am

"I am truly, deeply sorry that the mic was on."

Antispandex August 21, 2012 at 4:33 pm

I fondly remember when America had two parents, not just the drunken pissed off dad (male republicans). I guess my granddaughters will have to do all of that silly bra burning crap all over again just so people will not say to them, "Well in those clothes, of course you got raped". Well…unless…what's the christian version of the burka?

LocalGirlMakesGoo August 21, 2012 at 4:53 pm

No shoes.

Advn2rgirl August 21, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Magic underwear/garments.

Neoyorquino August 21, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Embroidered denim jumper.

doloras August 21, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Those look-alike plaid cotton dresses the Santorum girls wear.

PsycWench August 21, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I can't believe an actual physician said the things Dr. Wilkie said, but then there are a few Ph.D. biologists that don't believe in evolution. I put them in the same category as the psychologist who thought there was no such thing as mental illness.

Steverino247 August 21, 2012 at 4:38 pm

The doctor in question is 87, and old doctors sometimes resort to witch craft and shamanism…

Incitefully_Joe August 21, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Isn't he also an opthalmologist?

What is it about opthalmologists, anyway?

Dudleydidwrong August 21, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I think he's a GP with "training in obstetrics." This means that he watched "My Mom's Having a Baby" years ago on TV.

Fox E. Puppet August 22, 2012 at 12:13 am

If he was born in 1925, he probably attended med school in the late 40's/early 50's. He was a Family Medicine doc, not an OB/Gyn, so far as I can tell, so who knows how much time he spent learning about reproductive issues, or- more to the point- what doctors were being taught about female reproduction at the time?

deanbooth August 21, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Calling Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard…

Warwhatgoodfor August 21, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Uh, Mengele was also a doctor. This is relevant because if you pop over to Rawstory, some of the data doc wilke supposedly used came from experiments done on starving women in the death camps. Seems they took ladies who were due to ovulate and put them through a simulated gassing. Damned if they didn' t ovulate at all. Well controlled and peer reviewed I'm sure.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:07 am

Of course, starvation will do that, too.

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Can't find where Dr. Willke was "educated", but the following bits of biographical info do feature prominently:

- Founder and President, International Right to Life Foundation;
- President, Life Issues Institute;
- Formerly President (for 10 years), National Right to Life Foundation

The guy is a lifelong forced birther.

Chet Kincaid_ August 22, 2012 at 12:30 am

I'm nitpicking, but I really dislike that formulation "believe in evolution."

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 3:19 am

Meh, doctors can be stupid asses, too.
A friend I went to high school with posted on facebook that flu shots make you ten times more likely to get Alzeheimer's, according to Dr. Somebody or other, "The world's leading immuno-geneticist, with 80 peer reviewed papers.

I never get flu shots anyway, but I googled it, and turns out that Dr. Somebody or other not only co-authored the original study about mercury in vaccinations, which has been debunked many times over, but was also found guilty of professional misconduct — in South Carolina, yet! — and had his license suspended.

PsycWench August 22, 2012 at 8:26 am

Sounds like Andrew Wakefield. He's a piece of work. I guess I tend to think that if a person has gotten an education he or she would use it, but I am constantly proven wrong.

coolhandnuke August 21, 2012 at 4:35 pm

After adding a steaming load of 9/11 sanctimonious blather to his rapey walk-back, will Akin correct himself by saying the Twin Towers were "forcibly" violated by two volatile high-speed phallic objects?

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 5:14 pm

That sounds legitimate.

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

This is the new GOP pivot- it's everywhere. It's really all you promiscuous God hating LaDee sLuTs who entice those poor Christian men with your sinfully short skirts and offers to drink the cocktails they innocently buy for you who then force yourselves upon them with your harlot charms, causing them to have sex with you even though they didn't want to (of course YOU wanted it, it goes without saying, Missy Jezebel). Then you lie and cry rape once the unquenchable heat of your LaDee passion has subsided as a means to attack and punish these poor upright Christian menfolk for falling victim to your sinister wiles. You and the snake have been at it for eons (or at least 6000 years)

proudgrampa August 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*NO, NO PLEASE, I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE! STOP!!*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Proudgrampa finally goes over the edge.

Fox E. Puppet August 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Okay, so the Tubes were pretty spastic, but what does that have to do with raped women not getting pregnant, Dr. Wilke?

FlownOver August 21, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Fee Waybill libel!

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 3:20 am

White Dopes on Punk

MosesInvests August 21, 2012 at 10:16 pm

She won't even miss me when she's gone, that's OK with me, I'll cry later on….

comrad_darkness August 21, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Bully pulpits should be a requirement for every candidate so the swing voters who get to screw us all over can't pretend they don't know what they were voting for.

Barrelhse August 21, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Phenomenal.

johnnyzhivago August 21, 2012 at 4:38 pm

This all Obama's fault somehow.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 21, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Why won't Obama talk about the issues, instead of raping women?

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

He dressed provocatively. He was just asking for it.

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:55 pm

But it's good news for John McCain

RadioBowels August 21, 2012 at 5:13 pm

You mean the "baby killer" Obama??!?

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 12:13 am

Something something he gets the ladies wet, something something he's illegitimate.

littlebigdaddy August 21, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Needz moar vagina dentatas!

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:50 pm

are those vaginas that have been cooked so as to be firm but not hard?

proudgrampa August 21, 2012 at 4:55 pm

They are excellent with an Alfredo sauce.

FlownOver August 21, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Is that what that stuff is?

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 5:55 pm

those sperm gotta have something to swim in…

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 3:21 am

Flying Spaghetti Monster approves of this comment.

proudgrampa August 22, 2012 at 11:02 am

May you be touched by his Noodly Appendage.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 21, 2012 at 4:40 pm

All the cool girls are lying about rape so that they can have abortions. Why won't anyone but the GOP stand up against this? Thank God it is in their platform.

T3rbo August 21, 2012 at 5:10 pm

FREE ABORTION????!!!!! ALL I HAVE TO DO IS LIE???? I'LL TAKE 10!

HarryButtle August 21, 2012 at 4:40 pm

If you can't pass a junior high health test about where babbies come from, you can't serve in the legislature and write laws that affect other people's reproductive rights. Period.

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Yah? You and what army are gonna stop them?

HarryButtle August 21, 2012 at 6:30 pm

I know, I know…teh stoopid is strong in Amurika. sigh

Comrade Wingtardd August 21, 2012 at 9:58 pm

They need to do way instain mother!

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 3:28 am

NObody puts babby in corner.

StarsUponThars August 21, 2012 at 4:40 pm

tell me more tell me more
was it love at first sight
tell me more tell me more
did she put up a fight?

LocalGirlMakesGoo August 21, 2012 at 4:57 pm

If her daddy's rich, take her out for a meal
If her daddy's poor, just do what you feel.

T3rbo August 21, 2012 at 4:40 pm

OH I get it, this guy thinks he mis-spoke because he called rapists legitimate by accident. He does not get that when people learn that he thinks 'most rapes' are inaccurately reported as being rapes, and the evidence of these rapes not being 'real' are pregnancies, they will consider him to be a total lunatic.
His proof that there are very few rapes that are real is the small number of pregnancies related to 'real' rapes. What. The. Fuck. Work backwards from a conclusion much?
Because I don't want to support abortion, there are not very many real rapes in the world. Therefore, there is no need for abortion in the case of rape. WTF.

calliecallie August 21, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Kind of like the logic they used in the Salem witch trials.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:11 am

Burn her!

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 8:44 am

Oh god, the trials they would have had if Christine O'Donnell had made it to the Senate…is the reflecting pond deep enough to submerge the accused? I guess they could always do dunking in the Potomac if push came to shove, or a dropping from the top f the Washington Monument.

tracyhasfun August 23, 2012 at 3:16 pm

nailed it

Estproph August 21, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Moral: never pay attention to "scientific facts" given by people who believe Elvis now lives in a UFO.

kingofmeh August 21, 2012 at 4:41 pm

i just searched for the word "rape" in the opinion in roe v. wade, and it appears twice. once in a footnote describing the ABA's proposed Uniform Abortion Act, and once in the text, describing the AMA's recommendations on abortion.

both citations are merely tangential references in the context of a very long opinion. roe v. wade wasn't a case about rape, nor were there any lies about rape involved in the case. jane roe never alleged anything other than that she was unmarried, pregnant, and wished to terminate her pregnancy.

T3rbo August 21, 2012 at 4:45 pm

you and your facts!

Tequila Mockingbird August 21, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Doktor Zoom explained this in a post above… Norma McCorvey (aka Jane Roe) did initially (and falsely) claim rape in order to procure a Texas abortion, under a misguided belief that she could legally obtain an abortion that way, as well as to lessen the stigma of being an unwed mother in the 1960s. Her attorneys wisely left mention of rape out of the court documents, which is why the topic isn't addressed in the opinion. However, McCorvey's false rape cry has become a touchstone for anti-choicers ever since.

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Despite its total irrelevance to the Supreme Court decision.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 21, 2012 at 4:41 pm

While I appreciate my fellow Wonketters commenting on how stupid Congressman Akin is, it should be pointed out that a majority of Republicans are nodding their heads and thinking at last someone has the guts to take on the MSM and tell the truth.

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I don't think it's a majority of Republicans. Teabaggers, yea, I can see that.

HistoriCat August 22, 2012 at 10:35 am

Majority of ordinary Republicans – the Repub leaders wish he would shut the hell up so that the idiots who could vote for either candidate will be lulled back into complacency.

Poor Akin – he's a true believer. It's not his fault that that the national Republican leaders are cynical assholes who really don't care about his social issues.

HempDogbane August 21, 2012 at 4:58 pm

and that it's a sin to know and understand biology, sexuality, science, other cultures, history…

gogogodzilla August 21, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Awesome! Keep talking, Todd.

Lucidamente1 August 21, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Also, it's not rape if it's performed by one of them sovereign citizens, right?

zippy_w_pinhead August 21, 2012 at 4:51 pm

it's not taxable rape

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 7:22 pm

It's only rape if they signed a contract not to make sexytime with you against your will.

anniegetyerfun August 21, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I went to school with a couple of girls who gave birth to their fathers' children while in high school. I am relieved now to know that I can quit blaming the grown men who raped their daughters, and place the blame squarely on the shoulders of those then 15 year-old girls.

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Aren't you afraid of being contaminated by association with those trollops? It does not reflect well upon you, so I would just hush about all that.

T3rbo August 21, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Well, I am sure that if this happened to Mr. Akin, he would do what Jesus commanded. He would have that baby.

Warwhatgoodfor August 21, 2012 at 8:04 pm

"Janie got a gun". Problem solved.

CivicHoliday August 21, 2012 at 8:04 pm

don't punish the unborn babies for the actions of a few Lolita daughters

StealthMuslin August 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Teach the controversy! Through early November!

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Welp, by my watch, he's got an hour and a quarter to get out of the race. Is there anyway we can, you know, steal his cellphone until then?

prommie August 21, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Remember, "No Means Yes!" Cause, you know the slut wanted it.

Guppy August 21, 2012 at 4:48 pm

There isn’t any legitimate rapist

Because phrases like "marital rape" are oxymorons.

ManchuCandidate August 21, 2012 at 4:49 pm

His mouth is writing checks his uterine lining can't cash.

Callyson August 21, 2012 at 4:49 pm

thoroughly discredited opinions of Dr. John C. Willke, who first popularized the notion that ladyparts magically prevent pregnancy in a rape

Aaaand *this* is why allowing people to homeschool their kids and accrediting fundie "universities" is a bad idea–you end up with people who buy into this crap.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 21, 2012 at 4:52 pm

I like to head down to the police station once a month and get a rape kit done, just for the lulz.

Jus_Wonderin August 21, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I remember the time my wife and I scrimped and saved for the "My First Rape Kit" for our daugther. She keeps it in the trunk, where she used to keep the tire iron, which she keeps tucked between the seat and the console.

IonaTrailer August 21, 2012 at 10:32 pm

It helps with the rectal bleeding.

Fox n Fiends August 21, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Speaking of Roe v Wade, have you ever read the Wiki of Norma McCorvey? wowza.

Baconzgood August 21, 2012 at 4:59 pm

It's such a tight rope appeasing the Midwest Right and the rest of…SANE FUCKING PEOPLE!!!!!!!!

Blunderthing August 21, 2012 at 5:02 pm

There was no need for Todd Akin to look up from sucking a dick as the dick was sucking itself and his mouth just happened to fall on it, according to a dick sucking expert. The end.

mavenmaven August 21, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Given what these loons believe on this matter, its no surprise that they believe all that other crazy horse$%&t proposed by the likes of Paul Ryan, etc.
Scary.

keinsignal August 21, 2012 at 5:09 pm

OK, off topic but today's Pioneer Press headline is, and I quote, "Blahs Greet New Best Buy CEO". Thanks to our Wonkette, I completely misinterpreted it, of course.

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 5:22 pm

I get the Blahs now and then too.

Callyson August 21, 2012 at 5:57 pm

The fact that I share a planet with the likes of Todd Akin is giving me the Blahs.

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 12:26 am

That's good, because so few people understand the Blahs.

Doktor Zoom August 22, 2012 at 2:12 am

Or as the Bonzo Dog Band asked, "Can Blah Men Sing the Whuts?"

mustangsavvy August 21, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Holy fuckballs, I can't even…..

seppdecker August 21, 2012 at 5:11 pm

This schmuck is a stone's throw away from, "Throw her in the lake! If she sinks, she'll go to Heaven as a maiden. And if she floats, she lied about being raped!"

weejee August 21, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Well today is Tuesday, so Akin has 50 minutes to bail, or the D'Ratz will be 'bout guaranteed to maintain control of the Senate. Will our Wonkette live blog the last 15 minutes? If Akin doesn't quit the race, do we consider making him an honorary D'Rat as thanks for his unfaltering stupidity?

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Bite your tongue. He will never be an honorary anything, ever.

weejee August 21, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I see your point. Then how about making him a dishonorary D'Rat or some other means to acknowledge how helpful his being an over-the-top big stupid really is to we librulz?

Generation[redacted] August 21, 2012 at 5:46 pm

How about we give him an honorary kick in the nuts?

Better yet, let a rape victim do it. Form a line, ladies.

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Don't tell anyone, but he is actually a D'rat mole, emplaced many years ago for just such an occassion when we needed to discredit the entire Republican species. We want him to keep going on and on, but we don't want to bring too much attention to his background.

annettaj August 21, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Every time I hear Akin, its a kiss my ass moment.

SpeedoFart August 21, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Barrelhse August 21, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Oh, my Akin ass.

T3rbo August 21, 2012 at 5:14 pm

The irony of this is, people like my moms, who lives in MO, used to really identify with the republican cause. She was really into St. Regan, and thought Clinton was pretty slimy, but since the Iraq War, she has reconsidered her political affiliation and is now an independent.
I am 100% certain that this guy does not get my mom's vote now, no matter what, and I am going to bet that guys like this are going to send reasonable women away from the party of conservative values. Men, in Missouri, where I am from, not so much. But women, probably yes. There are only so many poor blahs you can blame for the economy and get a right wing woman's vote after this

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 7:20 pm

I hope you're right. But I still fear he will be bounced from the race.

fuflans August 21, 2012 at 5:15 pm

well this is going well.

Exhausted66 August 21, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Bottom line. Is he or is he not speaking at the convention?

IonaTrailer August 21, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Somewhere Karl Rove is grinding his teeth and yelling into the telephone at Akin, "You don't talk about this shit, we just do this shit after we get elected, you idiot."

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 5:23 pm
valthemus August 21, 2012 at 6:39 pm

No wonder Akin is staying in the race… look at the dream team of august men he has on his side:

Steve "Yes I sound crazy but let them prove it in court" King, Kirk "Hollywood is too sinful, that's why I can't get work" Cameron, and Tony "Not the dead gay actor who I'm glad is dead because I hates me some homos and love the Klan" Perkins.

There are no winners in a field of losers.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:15 am

Apey Rapey hearts. Evolution and 'bortion two-fer!

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Wow. When Jan Brewer is the voice of reason…

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Her saying that what Akin said is "a little outrageous", is like a rape victim saying she is "a little bit pregnant."

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Or that the attack itself was "mildly unpleasant".

HarryButtle August 21, 2012 at 6:36 pm

See, you had me all excited. I hadn't heard what my glorious governor had said about this and I thought by your comment that she actually took a stand contrary to the Republican Party line.

Alas, she pretty much answered in her typical, dimwitted non-committal way. Because she hasn't been told what she thinks, yet.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:17 am

Jan knows she is safe from rape, legitimate or illegitimate. Even the Wonketteers would not take that one for the team.

rickmaci August 21, 2012 at 5:27 pm

The leading cause of death for children between the ages of 2 and 15 in the United States is car crashes. Each day, about 500 children are injured in car crashes. Holy babyjeezuzinamanager, look at what Obama did by protecting the auto industry. Carnage of the innocents. Constitutional amendment to ban automobiles, NOW.

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 3:35 am

Silly person.
Don't ban cars.
Just ban seat belts and ambulances.
Seat belts encourage people (especially unmarried teenagers) to drive carelessly, and ambulances keep them from facing the consequences of their actions.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:18 am

You have captured the Republican essence. Now, quickly, incinerate it.

Preacher_Griz August 21, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I hope that romney fellow Sees the Light and gets behind Rep Todd instead of throwing him under the bus.

And that romney fellow might want to Learn some History and let Rep Paul Ryan take the lead in the campaign. If that mccain fellow had let Gov Mother Sarah Palin take charge, he'd be getting his mails at a different address.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:19 am

Prison?

Tundra Grifter August 21, 2012 at 5:33 pm

For about the past five years, the gold standard of stupid when it comes to rape victims was established by Duh Gov'. When she was the mayor of Wasilla, the city started charging them for rape kits.

Thanks to Rep. Akin, today that doesn't even move the needle.

BZ1 August 21, 2012 at 5:38 pm

hey guy, in the hole, time to stop diggin'

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 3:36 am

Let him enjoy it; it's the only hole he's ever going to be in.

pdiddycornchips August 21, 2012 at 5:42 pm

There can be only two reasons this guy keeps eating up the daily news cycle with his magic vagina sermons.

1). The Godfather next door in Illinois got to him

2). Mittens has larger tax problems than even we imagine.

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 7:23 pm

The tax returns.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:21 am

He has produced exactly one, incomplete return. Mittens, produce the rest of 2010!!!

not that Dewey August 22, 2012 at 8:26 am

He claims he will produce a second return, 2011, in late October, after it's too late to mean anything.

GeorgiaBurning August 21, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Fringe political movements in the US used to either die out or become absorbed and moderated by one of the major parties. What we are seeing now is the reverse of that. The atavistic side of right-wing politics has swallowed the Republican Party whole. If this sort of stuff came out of a candidate from the Free Male Christian Party we'd shake our heads and snicker; probably forget the guy's name in a day or so. The "Republican" brand name still carries recognition and stature, but it's just a sticker on some cheap pieces of crappy thought from the intellectual equivalent of a third-rate Chinese knock-off factory.

ChrisM2011 August 21, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Jesus, it's like a sport with these clowns. You actually have conservatives spinning rape!

Granted these entire story is disgusting but a part of me can't wait to see just how deep into the rabbit hole these cock knockers go with their spin.

valthemus August 21, 2012 at 6:48 pm

When it was announced that newly-minted VP candidate Sarah Palin's unmarried teenage daughter was pregnant, Neil Cavuto said, "In a way, it's a good thing this happened. It just shows Palin is human and has problems like everybody else." Having an agenda and no shame allows for really, really, really, really, really deep rabbit holes of spin.

valthemus August 21, 2012 at 6:57 pm

And it should be noted that, if so many on the right didn't oppose comprehensive sex education, you wouldn't have so many randy teenagers running around believing girls can't get pregnant the first time they have sex.

Angry_Marmot August 21, 2012 at 5:58 pm

As someone who wants the Republicans to lose as many seats as possible, I urge Rep. Akin to hang in there 'til election day, running his mouth, showing up at rallies and posing with every candidate in the country, flailing and flailing and flailing… He should live and be well.

Warco3 August 21, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Is it too early to congratulate Senator McCaskill on her victory?

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Unfortunately, yes.

Callyson August 21, 2012 at 6:06 pm

IIRC, Missouri is in the Central time zone, which means 5 o'clock has come and gone and this fucker is still in it to spin it…

pinkocommi August 21, 2012 at 6:11 pm

It is too bad Romney has picked his VP nominee because this Akin guy would perfectly round out the Republitard ticket.

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I think the one he's got has similar beliefs. Didn't they co-sponser something or other?

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Yes, a bill (not an amendment, a bill) to grant blastocysts all the constitutional rights of an adult person.

FlownOver August 21, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Hey! HEY!!! HEY!!!!!

He has a petition we can sign!

finallyhappy August 21, 2012 at 6:16 pm

1066 signatures so far- how many are wonketteers??

FlownOver August 21, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Well, I've heard (from a reliable source) both Mittens and Rand Ryan have signed.

finallyhappy August 21, 2012 at 6:18 pm

I just signed as Roe V. Wade- roevwade@gmail.com

Geminisunmars August 21, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Wow, did you notice his signature on that. It looked like Podel signed it.

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 7:43 pm

His handwriting has apparently reached the same grade level as his intellectual capacity.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 21, 2012 at 7:18 pm

I love how you can pick "I'd like to contribute to the campaign" or "No I'm not ready to contribute" and you get taken to the same page asking for your credit card. Unfortunately, Pat McGroin doesn't have any credit cards.

MikeHawkstrong August 21, 2012 at 7:23 pm

As always, Mike Hawkstrong is IN!

Callyson August 21, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Jinx!

Also, as noted below, Strongwoman Isfightingback, againsthate@gop.com just signed!

Doktor Zoom August 21, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Weedlord Bonerhitler has signed.

IonaTrailer August 21, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Tiny P Enis youreadouche@bag.org signed his petition!
So did Getoutof myuterus keepchoicelegal@women.com

IonaTrailer August 21, 2012 at 11:17 pm

So did Perforated Uterus bleedtodeath@coathanger.com

IonaTrailer August 21, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I'm spending all evening signing his for all my friends!
Rapey TheRapist rapeme@rapester.net signed
So did Getou Ofmyuterus protectchoice@DNC.org

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:25 am

Paul Bernardo, @Kingstonpen.com just signed.

For a list of potential signatories, see Wiki

Rodney Alcala InmateG18300@CalPen just signed.

Baba_NinjaCat12 August 22, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Use the name Moll Lester when signing it.

barto August 21, 2012 at 6:13 pm

"ladies just plain lie about being raped"

Sounds like he speaks from personal experience, perhaps?

Callyson August 21, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Also, this fucker has an online petition to show support for his sorry ass:

http://www.akin.org/still-standing

Strongwoman Isfightingback, againsthate@gop.com just signed!

Generation[redacted] August 21, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Rapey McRape rape@gop.com – showing his support!

Blueb4sinrise August 21, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Ted Bundy wuz there.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:42 am
Kid_Charlemagne August 21, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I be Claire McCaskill is suddenly reminded of the old SNL skit with Jon Lovitz playing Michael Dukakis during the 1988 Presidential Debate: "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy!"

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Claire McCaskill is one of the main reasons Akin was able to make a late surge past two better-polling primary opponents to seal the nomination. Well, her and the DNC.

KeepFnThatChicken August 21, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Did he realize he was on the radio? And does she realize she has a vagina…?!

Not_Mother August 21, 2012 at 6:38 pm

It would be funny if Akin told Romney, "I'll drop out if you release your tax returns".

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Of fucking course Bryan Fischer was the first to cite "Dr" Willke in support of Todd Akin.

Because the FRC was fucking invented to cite junk science from fucking scumsucking douchewad assholes with letters after their name in support of the "religious" right's agenda of hate, discrimination and persecution. That's it's entire raison d'etre. That's the "research" that gives them their name: making shit totally up, and arguing form authority, because fucking Liberty jesusfellating U hands out doctorates to hatespreading godboys like a Vegas pimp hands out "business" cards.

These. Pricks. Make. Me. HANGRY!

Barrelhse August 21, 2012 at 10:29 pm

I can go along with that.

spends2much August 21, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Legitimate rape: Finally, a method of birth control the GOP can get behind!

Scumbags.

Toomush_Infer August 21, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Well, I've had two days to think about it, and I have to conclude that Akin was right: raped women's bodies do have a way to do something to stop pregnancy…..it's called abortion….

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 8:43 am

I regret that I have but one upfist to give for your comment.

LibertyLover August 21, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Why is ANYONE being preggers and whether or not they want to continue to BE preggers ANY business of this clown?

BarackMyWorld August 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO VOTE AGAINST HIM IF HE DROPS OUT???

(FYI The Crossroads ads already paid for are still airing here.)

calliecallie August 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm

JUST STOP TALKING. Jesus, God, these fucking people.

Doktor Zoom August 21, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Just wanted to mention that the Vlad the Impala fundraiser is finally near an end–please help an impoverished blogger pay off Wonkette-related car repairs!

mcrummett August 21, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Stop digging, Todd!

DahBoner August 21, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Todd Akin: Hitler's Best Used Car Salesman Ever!

"What a creampuff rape we have out back waiting for a lady just like you"

viennawoods13 August 21, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry him.

TxSpinyLizrd August 21, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Everybody just back the truck up a minute. We're letting this jackass hijack the national conversation about abortion rights and turn it into a semantics argument on the definition of rape. The next step is people will be saying, like Romney, that "ok, we'll allow it, but only in case of rape.".

Women currently have the right to manage our own bodies without having to explain to anyone the circumstances of our condition or decision.

Letting these misogynists move the conversation anywhere to the right of that with red herrings about my magical Fallopian tubes or whether my pregnancy was due to force or coercion is a HUGE mistake.

comrad_darkness August 21, 2012 at 8:08 pm

I viewed this as a much overdue conversation questioning why these morans are making decisions for the rest of us rather than someone with a grasp of reality and science.

mbobier August 21, 2012 at 8:18 pm
mbobier August 21, 2012 at 8:27 pm
fartknocker August 21, 2012 at 8:37 pm

He's a Teatard and he can't spell.
http://twitter.com/daveweigel/statuses/2380215844

PuglyDoRight August 21, 2012 at 8:41 pm

"Dr." Wilke spoke to my Catholic girls high school at an assembly decades ago and asserted that women don't get pregnant from rape because the rapist never ejaculates. The lady representing the rape crisis center nearly had a stroke right on the stage, and very helpfully pointed out that it was not, in fact, true. What a douche.

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 8:50 pm

He's also over the years claimed it's because rape is mostly buttsecks, and that rapists are mostly impotent.

Gee, you think his shifting rationales in the face of repeatedly being battered down by the facts might be a hint that he's not trying to promote a scientific viewpoint but rather advance a forced-birth agenda by any means necessary?

HogeyeGrex August 21, 2012 at 8:52 pm

This guy is really bucking for Most Loathsome Shit Of The Year.

It's a hell of a field, too.

BTWBFDIMHO August 21, 2012 at 8:53 pm

True. Democrats lie about Global Warming, and women lie about Local Warming.

rocktonsam August 21, 2012 at 8:58 pm

since this asshole has taken some heat off the guys with tax problems and health care problems, Akin just got himself the secretary of HHS, job in the Rmoney/ Eddie Munster admin.

johnnyzhivago August 21, 2012 at 9:16 pm

More like Presidential Science Advisor!!!!!!!!!!

ProgressiveInga August 21, 2012 at 9:52 pm

NASA Director!

DerrickWildcat August 21, 2012 at 9:32 pm

LOL, Limbaugh handed the election to that Catskill lady last time and now this guy is handing it to her this time.

Fox E. Puppet August 21, 2012 at 9:48 pm

I sincerely hope you are correct, but there are crazy amounts of one-issue voters out there, and usually that one issue is abortion.

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 12:40 am

Didn't Claire only win by a few thousand votes, last time? I'm definitely not counting her out after this. She was in real trouble just last week, now, it's a toss-up which I think leans her way because of this stupid-assed comment by Akin. This is the kind of stuff that doesn't actually register with voters right until they mark their ballots.

VinnyThePooh August 21, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I can't wait to see Akin get legitimately pepper sprayed in Tampa.

owhatever August 21, 2012 at 9:41 pm

"Now, Miss, if you will stop all the crying and bleeding for a minute, will you admit that you finally just laid back and enjoyed it? And think of the joy of being able to bring another life into this world. Isn't your rapist worth at least a small 'thank you' for being the father of your child?"

ttommyunger August 21, 2012 at 9:59 pm

Claire McCaskill now neck and neck with Barry for "Luckiest Politician of the Century" Crown.

Fox E. Puppet August 21, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Tampa in August is likely to be pretty hot- too bad Mittie has that Akin albatross around his neck. Think his OS could overheat? http://lat.ms/OOZRqs

Aquarianne17 August 21, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Now, now, be nice. I'm sure he's just upset since he found out that he's the illegitimate love child of Kelsey Grammer and David Hyde-Pierce.

BarackMyWorld August 21, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Ana Marie Cox is on Lawrence O'Donnell right now talking about Akin.

johnnyzhivago August 21, 2012 at 11:15 pm

My evil cousin has some thoughts on this matter:
http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com/

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 11:28 pm

I'm deciding whether or not to toss Akin a few bucks to keep him in the race. Claire did the same thing, and I'd hate to see her good money go to waste.

Callyson August 22, 2012 at 1:59 am

Way too risky–we can't take the chance on that fucker actually *winning* (shudder…)

He's stubborn as a mule and will stay in the race–please kick those bucks to McCaskill so she can sustain the momentum this crap has given her campaign and keep this fucker out of the Senate.

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 12:20 am

BTW, I love that even the media is focusing on his use of the word "legitimate" as opposed to the really offense and horrifying issue that this man honestly doesn't seem to know the basics of sexual reproduction. As is usual, the focus is wrong. His understanding of sexual reproduction is quite literally centuries old.

labman57 August 22, 2012 at 12:23 am

Todd, do yourself a favor — STOP TALKING!

Bottom line: according to many social conservatives — including Akin and Paul Ryan — some rapes are "rapier" than are other rapes.

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 12:41 am

Eff that. Do us a favor and keep talking.

LetUsBray August 22, 2012 at 1:08 am

I have to disagree: The bottom line is that to these social conservatives, no one should ever be allowed to get an abortion. And if a women is pregnant from being raped, the pregnancy is proof that it wasn't a really rapey rape.

These people are fucking monsters.

Fox E. Puppet August 22, 2012 at 12:25 am

NYT headline: "A Politician Whose Faith Is Central to His Persistence".

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 12:42 am

Please tell me you're joking.

Fox E. Puppet August 22, 2012 at 1:40 am

I wish I were.

Doktor Zoom August 22, 2012 at 12:33 am

A thoughtful explanation from Free Republic:

He tried to engage the PeePee & Cooter Party on their own turf.

Many Republicans and conservatives don't understand the Democrats. Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid do all the complex thinking for the hive mind. The rank & file Democrats are left with that which they understand – their PeePees and their Cooters. As this is what they think about most of their day (since the important thoughts are being taken care by Big Brain Obama), they're self-anointed experts on the subject.

So Todd Akin wanders into their playpen and presumes to tell them how their ladyparts and littleboyparts work.

If you don't believe me, go read the comments on nearly any other site. It's all smugness about knowing more about their ladyparts than this old fossil Akin.

EDIT: Oh dear. Then there's this comment:

Think about it ~ most of those [TV News] commentators are known homosexuals ~ and some of them are into some fairly rough sexual practices. They only wish their own partners were as rough as they imagine Republicans are. Akin fires their imagination, but NOBODY IS WATCHING. Americans had their toleration level for gays destroyed by Ellen so there's no more room.

EDITED EDIT: And in another thread, there's a legal scholar:

[Mark] Levin knows the Constitution, no doubt about that. His mistake is in placing it above the Declaration, which argues that the duty of any form of government is to secure the right to life.

LetUsBray August 22, 2012 at 1:14 am

"The rank & file Democrats are left with that which they understand – their PeePees and their Cooters. As this is what they think about most of their day…"

Sounds like someone is bitter we're getting some and he's not.

Fox E. Puppet August 22, 2012 at 1:46 am

I worry about anyone who spends much time with those Freepers…

"I never knew anyone, that examined and deliberated about nonsense who did not believe it before the end of his enquiries." – David Hume

Chet Kincaid_ August 22, 2012 at 9:24 am

Fear of other people's ideas just on the basis that you might agree with them? That seems closed-minded. Any side can use that argument. It's not a true statement either, from my experience.

Fox E. Puppet August 22, 2012 at 4:30 pm

"Fear of other people's ideas" ≠ concern over the effects of spending a lot of time examining nonsense…

sullivanst August 22, 2012 at 8:43 am

Dude, you gotta be real careful hanging out at that place, that shit's infectious ya know?

Chet Kincaid_ August 22, 2012 at 9:26 am

Better here than in a post. I just don't get the fascination with eye-rolling at the dumb ideas of random anonymous commenters, it's like the SNL sketch where everyone passes around the spoiled milk and has great fun exclaiming about how awful it tastes.

Doktor Zoom August 23, 2012 at 12:37 am

But Chet, some of that milk smells REALLY funny!

Besides, its how Aliens get drunk.

nowave August 22, 2012 at 1:06 am

Wouldn't it be *slightly* less horrific and medievally stupid if certain Republican bastards had a pseudo-scientific theory that the act of rape rendered the *perpetrator impotent* rather than it being the magical property of the victim to "shut that whole thing down"? No. Either way, they're still scum.

sullivanst August 22, 2012 at 8:39 am

They have that pseudo-scientific theory too, it's just as garbage because the actual science that actually looks at how likely a woman is to become pregnant after a rape has found that it's just as likely as if the sex was consensual.

tessiee August 22, 2012 at 3:38 am

Wonder if Jenna Jameson still wants a Republican in office?

docterry6973 August 22, 2012 at 6:14 am

Akin is the shiny object that got the MSM to look at the GOP's position. Ryan says exactly the same thing, as does the GOP platform, and suddenly it is a problem. I can't tell which makes me more ill: GOP meathead conservatives or the spineless MSM.

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 8:37 am

Better late than never, though, no?

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 8:51 am

Anyone see Claire's statement, yesterday, on this? She was admonishing Republicans for coming down so hard on a man that has apologized for his statement. lol

Senator McCaskill is have entirely too much fun playing good cop/bad cop with this. lol And, I have to admit enjoying watching the GOP finally being forced to own its bullshit far too much. This isn't a new position of the party. The difference is that one of them finally got caught on tape during a high-level campaign saying it.

Meet me in St. Louis, indeed.

fuflans August 22, 2012 at 9:35 am

i was thinking more 'show me'.

but maybe that's just me.

(and yeah, claire's having a blast)

Misty Malarky August 22, 2012 at 9:12 am

Why hasn't Wonkette posted the nekkid Prince Harry pics?

This is very disappointing.

fuflans August 22, 2012 at 9:36 am

yes. we should be all over this.

Ruhe August 22, 2012 at 9:20 am

I appreciate the clarification. I think what went missing from all the discussion early on was that what he was really saying, his gross misunderstanding of anatomy aside, was that obviously some women lie about being raped. Now that's even more disturbing than his presumptions about lady-part functions isn't it? And that attitude that "them women just lie all the time about sex" that is revealed in Akin's statement is what his supporters will actually rally behind.

ttommyunger August 22, 2012 at 10:31 am

Rough weather for the GOP: shit-storms in Missouri this week, Hurricane coming to Tampa next week and the bottom predicted to fall out in November. Don't forget your rubbers, kids!

thurufally August 22, 2012 at 2:42 pm

American Taliban, indeed.

TribecaMike August 22, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Alas, Youtube has just taken down the video of Todd Akin raping Todd Palin.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Dude, you need Dramatic Gopher for this scene. Also teh swelling violins.

And don't tell anyone. I embarrass easy.

NatKingKong August 22, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I think we all know who this "doctor" is who Akin gets his information on the ladyparts from: Theodoric of York.

"Todd Akin: 'Throw rape victims in a river; If they drown, it was legitimate rape' http://www.thedailywedgie.blogspot.com

GunToting[Redacted] August 21, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Yeah, but they would be a bitch to maintain.

glasspusher August 21, 2012 at 10:33 pm

I hope so, Chet. My sister and her daughter wouldn't vote fer Bammers if it put their burning house out. Granted, they aren't moderates by a long shot. They have bought into the Jebus (meaning right wing men) know best fer them :(

glasspusher August 21, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Burn her anyway.

(Fresh back from my bike ride, hint ,hint)

Pennywhistler August 21, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Hope none of you three ever needs health care, or -god forbid – an abortion.

miss_grundy August 21, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I truly feel sorry for your sister and your niece. I'm thankful that I came from a family of strong women and that my grandfather wanted his daughters to be that way.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Are you waggling your eyebrows at me, young man?

glasspusher August 21, 2012 at 11:36 pm

You're no Jack Kennedy.I ain't young (on the outside) and you would have trouble seeing my eyebrows….What were we talking about?

glasspusher August 21, 2012 at 11:40 pm

They have health care, for now…my sister is even a nurse!

Pennywhistler August 22, 2012 at 12:00 am

I got mine, so fuck the other gals. Is that it?

glasspusher August 22, 2012 at 12:09 am

Pretty much!

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 12:23 am

I'm not? (looks around for mirror, pats face)

Damn, you're right, I'm not!

Wuh?

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 1:58 am

Unusual, in those days. Kudos to your Grandfather.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 1:59 am

You sure do know how to make a political junkie happy, dude.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 2:02 am

I must say, Plouffe has his future made regardless of what happens on Nov. 6th. David Axelrod says he's retiring to spend time with his badly disabled daughter. But, yeah. The Gods, they smile upon Mr. Barack Hussein. They gave him an opponent who had the munnies to crush anyone else in the race but the singular ill-luck to fuck up every time he breathes. Although that is not to detract one iota from the incredible skill with which Obama's team has been handling the re-election. Pity I can't find it in my heart to feel the least bit sorry for Mitt the Shitt.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 2:09 am

Well, there IS that whole issue of the State having an overriding interest in protecting the lives of all its citizens, is there not, and the ensuing attempt to grant a fertilized ovum the same Constitutional protections as an adult? Perhaps you could discourse on that issue briefly in the interest of educating me somewhat?

DerrickWildcat August 22, 2012 at 2:17 am

Yay, new ones up!

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 3:13 am

Oh, my! That turtle's a good shot, too. I can just see the li'l guy tossing his head. "Hmph!"

DerrickWildcat August 22, 2012 at 3:18 am

He's too good for me.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 3:37 am

*He* thinks so.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 3:44 am

ZOMG, those plovers!

DerrickWildcat August 22, 2012 at 3:50 am

The real catch was the Buff-Breasted Sandpiper. They are a near threatened species with a pretty specific range as you can see here: http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Buff-breasted_

The Black Tern shot I am 97% happy with. Imagine trying to take a picture of a Swallow in flight. Black Terns are as maneuverable as Swallows, but faster. It took a lot of time and swearing to get that one shot.

Boojum August 22, 2012 at 7:49 am

There is a discussion in Roe about "person" meaning the post-born. It is solid reasoning.

sullivanst August 22, 2012 at 8:54 am

So, the state-level effort to pass personhood amendments is of course an attempt to overturn Roe. At first thought, you'd think it's doomed to failure – Roe explicitly dismisses fetal personhood, and for good reason, and so the first state amendment will be meaningless in the face of the Supremacy clause.

I'm pretty sure the forced birthers know this though. The idea, most likely, is to get personhood passed in a large enough majority of states to make SCOTUS reconsider the concept, c.f. Loving in which standing precedent was overturned because of widespread movement in the states towards, in that case, the right outcome. I hasten to point out, I do not intend in any way to compare the merits of the cases.

sullivanst August 22, 2012 at 9:07 am

Love the depth of focus effects, I struggle to get them that pronounced even in macro mode, and I know you weren't that close. But then, your camera's a little nicer than mine ;)

Chet Kincaid_ August 22, 2012 at 9:11 am

Thanks for that reference, I will look her up!

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Thank you, Booj. I shall go look it up.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 1:35 pm

(Hugs the HistoriCat)

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Thank you, sullivanst. So, it would appear that you, like Boojum, Biely, and many of us here, are a lawyer, then?

HistoriCat August 22, 2012 at 1:40 pm

You are too kind!

sullivanst August 22, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Just a keen amateur.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Very keen, indeed. Thank you for the extended education.

MittBorg August 22, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I just want you to remember we're all in this fight together. We WILL leave this world a better place for the HistoriKittens.

Negropolis August 22, 2012 at 10:08 pm

Yeah, that's basically true everywhere, even in PA.

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