when a man and an underaged girl love each other very much ...

Rep. Steve King: I Have Never Heard Of Teenagers Getting Pregnant Except The Ones I Described

Get your 'bortions here!Rep. Steve King (R-IA) has defended Missouri Senate candidate (for now) Todd Akin by going a step further and claiming that a lady cannot get pregnant from statutory rape or incest either!

King supports the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act.” It would ban Federal funding of abortions except in cases of forcible rape. Right now, Medicaid also covers abortions for victims of statutory rape or incest – for example, a 12 year old who gets pregnant.

Congressman King says he’s not aware of any young victims like that.

“Well I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way, and I’d be open to discussion about that subject matter,” he said.

That is strange, because he was super sure about how terrible it was that liberals wanted forced abortions for thirteen year olds THREE WEEKS AGO.

Here is what Steve King, who serves in Congress, said then, vis a vis dogfighting, which Steve King loves so much he would marry it if it weren’t for Rick Santorum:

In explaining himself, King argues that animals have more rights than fetuses, and suggests that
liberals have so devalued life, that a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.”

(It has of course already been suggested that if those things are not against the law in the United States of America, perhaps Steve King could spend some time trying to craft some bills to make them so!)

At this point, the arch-conservative belief that nobody ever has to deal with pregnancies in situations that make conservatives uncomfortable isn’t a simple matter of believe cute things you get in e-mail forwards. It is vagina denialism. IT IS VAGINALISM.

This is dangerous to women not because crazy dudes are saying weird things that make ladies feel bad. This is dangerous because fucking idiots who didn’t understand sex ed are possibly going to be making laws and regulations that will govern the lives and health of half of America for decades to come. AND THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND SPERM AND EGGS AND JESUS H. LOVING MERCIFUL CHRIST I AM GOING TO JUST PUNCH THINGS NOW.

[Talking Points Memo]

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  1. LastGasp

    It would ban Federal funding of abortions except in cases of forcible rape.

    Ah, but to a wingnut how do you define "forcible rape"? Does the woman have to sign a form stating that she's about to be forcibly raped? Just curious how Rep. Steve King and his pals will eventually define this.

    1. sullivanst

      "If she's not bleeding, it wasn't rape", would be about the level of maturity I'd expect from these stunted intellectual dwarves.

      1. HogeyeGrex

        And, no doubt, "If she is bleeding, well, that just means she likes it rough. Haw haw."

        Y'know. If she floats, she's a witch.

    2. sewollef

      OK, here's how it'll work:

      First: there has to be witnesses to this "rape" — as with any crime circumstantial evidence isn't really admissible.

      Second: Those witnesses should really be householders, since that's the only way we can be sure they're upstanding members of the community.

      Thirdly — and this is most important: They should ideally be male witnesses, as only a man can truly judge whether another man is acting in a nasty way to a lady.

      So, there you have it. Witnesses to the rape. Householders. And male.

      I can write acts of congress too. My direct line is: 1-800-SEXY-TIME and I'm available 24/7.

      Call me.

      1. UW8316154

        Good call on the "witnesses" – plural. In fact, I think we should require it to be the assessment of Three Male Relatives who personally witnesses what they consider to be have been "forcible rape" in order to qualify.

        /Just liftin' stuff from Afghanistan, now…

    3. bauserdotcom

      To conservatives, "forcible rape" is the opposite of date rape — the stereotypical "attacked by a stranger in the street" attack. These guys still think date rape is a made-up thing — either the woman is lying, or she deserved it for drinking while wearing a skirt.

      The whole "legitimate rape" and "forcible rape" nonsense is a codeword for "good girls getting raped," because date rape only happens to bad girls.

      1. Negropolis

        Yeah, everyone gets that, even the conservative idiots feigning ignorance. But, yeah, we here especially understand that this is code.

    4. Lascauxcaveman

      It's a moot point, everybody. You can't get pregnant from a legitimate rape. I thought that was established yesterday.

      1. UW8316154

        And if you get pregnant, obviously it wasn't rape, it was "the bitch was just askin' for it"

        1. NYNYNYjr

          Sadly I read an essay by a 'conservative' (he's conserving his brain for more serious things than women's biology?) writer who explains, at length that a woman won't get pregnant unless she has an orgasm. Go ahead and think through the implications of believing that idea. Oh, you had a child from that rape? So you really enjoyed it then, didn't you? Etc.

          1. doloras

            "a woman won't get pregnant unless she has an orgasm"

            I don't buy it. That would reduce the birth rate in redneck areas to zero. Or do fake orgasms count? Or ones she has the day after with the Latino poolboy?

    5. Tequila Mockingbird

      We've been over this. It's not "legitimate rape" if you don't tell your victim in advance that she's getting raped. So unless your attacker says "Excuse me miss, but if you would kindly not scream too loud, as I am going to have sex with you against your will and run away. Do you understand?" then it isn't forcible. Capisce?

      1. GunToting[Redacted]

        But if she honors the wishes of the rapist (not screaming, not running away), isn't that implied consent?

        1. Tequila Mockingbird

          Well, you can always legitimately murder me after the fact.

          Besides, what makes you think I will run away afterwards? Why can't we forcibly cuddle against your will?

    6. National_Turkey

      A "forcible rape" is one where a poor black man waits in the alleyway to attack a well-to-do- white lady. This is the only version of rape that could possibly be forcible/legitimate in the bro culture echo chamber. She was drunk at a party? One vice begets another. The guy was her boyfriend/husband? Saying yes once negates subsequent refusals! Sorry so-called ladies, just "lay back and enjoy it" and we hope you can care for your rape-babies that God has blessed you with.

    7. Steverino247

      What if he's really collecting for the Red Cross.

      Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
      Attempt, how did you establish that?
      When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!
      I think he’s got a point.

    8. zippy_w_pinhead

      simple, count the broken bones, multiply by the number of black eyes, if it doesn't reach triple digits she was asking for so it couldn't by definition be forcible

    9. tessiee

      "Ah, but to a wingnut how do you define "forcible rape"? "

      Trick question.
      They don't believe there's any such thing as "forcible rape". All women are dirty, dirty whores who crave it every waking moment.

    10. tessiee

      "Ah, but to a wingnut how do you define "forcible rape"?"

      they have a handy dandy skin color chart for that.

    1. Callyson

      Time for a sting operation…there must be *someone* with a hidden camera who can pass for a teenager and who is as outraged as I am…

    2. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      His idea of the discussion would be Steve King being read Penthouse letters involving Brownie Scouts to be sure….those wild, crazy eyes just scream it.

  2. HateMachine

    As long as you're punching 'things,' you may as well make a few of those things "elected representatives."

    No, not with votes. Why do you ask?

    1. SigDeFlyinMonky

      But… then they attacked his first amendment rights by canceling his concerts in another country, the filthy commie basterds! USA, USA, USA ! Hey honey, can I take you out for some ice cream after we go to the merry-go-round?

  3. Tequila Mockingbird

    Rape, kidnapping, forcing her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then dropping her off at the swingset… or as we call it, A Liberal's Tuesday Night. AMIRITE?

    1. CommieLibunatic

      Mine usually involve light bondage, blindfold play, and elements from Homeworld. But hey, to each their own.

  4. Trannysurprise

    Everyone knows that little girls can get pregnant by sitting on dirty swing sets or wet saddles.

    This is what my mom said happened to my sister.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    If Steve King says a girl can't get pregnant from statutory rape or incest, I'm inclined to believe him — I mean, he looks like he's probably fucked a number of his underage female relatives.

  6. bumfug

    Steve King was soooo jealous of all the attention Todd Akin's been getting he sat up all night, thinking of how he could prove to the magic mirror that HE'S the dumbest in the land. Then he sent Todd a poison apple, just to make sure.

  7. UnholyMoses

    This weekend, whilst doing yard work and letting my thoughts wander, I came up with the phrase "scum-encrusted, puss-filled, Herpesean sore on the choad of humanity" and started to think of when I could possibly use it.

    Now is that time. Because … just … wow.

    1. sullivanst

      You really have to exercise your full imagination and vocabulary just to come close to describing how unbearably awful these guys are, don't you?

  8. SexySmurf

    Congressman King says he’s not aware of any young victims like that.

    King added: "I mean, none of the 12 year old boys I have sex with ever get pregnant."

  9. HempDogbane

    The men of Rep. Kink's district shoot sperm that knows where it goes. (The extra K in his name was a typo, but I decided to leave it.)

  10. KeepFnThatChicken

    He gets his no-rape statistics for the No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act from the same source that described all the no-voting fraud that prompted the Voter ID laws.

  11. ChillBill

    "a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.”

    I read on the Internet that Steve King is a playground rapist.

    1. redarmyzombie

      Do you think there might be any connection to Mitt Romneys child slavery ring in the Cayman Islands?

    1. sullivanst

      Joe Walsh is a lame wannabe compared to the industrial-scale hate factory that is Steve King.

      1. no_gravity

        Yeah, but he's got some major making up to do in he re-election bid and this would be just the thing to turn those western suburban Chicagoans over to his side.

  12. johnnyzhivago

    Geez, I wish these politicians would get back to the real issues, like allowing assault weapons in day care centers and bombing Muslim countries into oblivion.

    1. UnholyMoses

      "really makes me wonder whats goin on in this guys basement. "

      A smaller version of the upcoming GOP convention … ?

    1. Dr_Zoidberg

      Look, give him a break. He just got chewing gum while walking down. These things take time.

    1. SigDeFlyinMonky

      Iowa – Idiots Out Walking Around ; heard from a sweet Iowa born waitress working in Alameda California.

  13. MinAgain

    It's that damn good girls paradigm again, where women are blamed for the sexual immorality of pretty much everyone they come in contact with.

    Ye gods, I loathe these sexist bastards.

  14. sullivanst

    These fuckers are making me positively nauseous now.

    Hey Steve, you ignorant, hatefilled, evil moron, ponder this for a nanosecond and see what your pathetic excuse for a brain does with it: if young girls can't get pregnant, they won't ever need abortions, will they? So why ban them?

    Because if you're wrong (you're wrong, BTW, about everything, but right now, you're completely wrong about this, wrong in a way that's very easily proven) then forcing girls whose skeletal development has not yet reached the point where they can safely deliver a full-term baby is endangering their health, you vicious nasty bastard.

    Did I mention that I hate Steve King? Well, I hate Steve King. For a while yesterday and this morning I was thinking that Bryan Fischer is probably the most evil non-criminal in this country, but this just reminded me that honor goes to Steve King. And the competition is fucking fierce. There's so many of these vindictive assholes!

    1. PsycWench

      That Shirley Roper-Phelps from the Westboro Baptist Church is a strong competitor. Maybe we could lock her, Fischer and King in a closet and just never come back?

      1. AbandonHope_

        Yeah, but the Phelpses are mostly vile nuisances who try to profit from hatred, but who otherwise have little power. Fischer is more dangerous, heading up a hate group as powerful as the AFA. But King, he holds elected office, and so his effective evilness is far higher.

        Also, pretty sure Fischer is already in a closet, just saying.

    2. sewollef

      The competition is truly fierce…. 'cos I'd add Lloyd Blankfein to your list. I have no knowledge on whether he's a rapist or not.

      Although he has fucked the country over several times.

  15. belmontreport

    He also said that multicultural groups on college campuses are "victim groups, victimology" today at a town hall meeting.

    Steve King: Making Iowa proud since 2003.

      1. sullivanst

        Years of careful development of a curriculum specifically designed to discourage critical thinking. Also known as "home schooling"

  16. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    If girls couldn't get pregnant through incest then most of the south would not exist.

  17. mavenmaven

    Just what *does* this idiot know?
    Anyway, if he wants to see cases of 12 year olds pregnant, he can head down to any inner city ob-gyn dept. I've seen a case myself (caucasian girl, for the record).

  18. SayItWithWookies

    Sorry to blogwhore, but I wrote about just such a crime in Brazil — wherein, due to the compassionate treatment of the Catholic Church, the rape victim's mother was excommunicated for getting her nine-year-old daughter an abortion. So yeah — Steve King can go f*ck himself with his medieval quidnuncery.

  19. ChernobylSoup

    I strongly advise the Republican party to double down on their war on women, for America.

  20. KeepFnThatChicken

    Maybe Representative King and the Family Research Council should stop defending Rep. Akin, since he finally recanted his words and apologized.

    Mind you, I don't give a fuck if he apologized, but I love watching these idiots defend their special child even after he admits how badly he got it wrong.

  21. Blueb4sinrise

    …a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset…

    See, it's even WORSE! Forced to abort, and NOT EVEN PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. Goonemeritus

    You do have to wonder why 13 year old rape victims and/or their rapist aren’t just lining up in Congressman King’s office to tell their story.

  23. weejee

    a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset

    Thanks for that Mr. Representative Chucklehead King. We now know where the term 'swinger' comes from – the girl who just got dropped off.

  24. Toomush_Infer

    Y'know, every time I try to go snarky on this abortion stuff, I keep remembering the girl I had to pick off the floor next to the girls room in high school, back in my fundamentalist home town (I'm sooo old). I can't get that blood smear on the marble floor out of my mind after 47 years…. so fuck you, Rep. King …..

  25. JustPixelz

    In states that are determined to close all abortion facilities (cf Mississippi), it doesn't matter if the pregnancy is due to careless sex or gang rape at gunpoint. It doesn't matter if the woman will die from an unplanned pregnancy. It doesn't matter if her child is at high risk for defects (fetal alcohol syndrome, Down syndrome). It doesn't matter if the husband is a loving dedicated man or has just walked out the door. None of that matters because in those states, those women will have no choice.

    1. tessiee

      "London's first foundling hospital admitted 15,000 infants in the years between 1756 and 1760. Of these, fewer than a third survived to adolescence. On the continent, the death rate for children in foundling institutions ran between 80 and 90 percent during the first year of life. Parish officers entrusted the care of newborns to women nicknamed "killing nurses", because they were expected to do the state's dirty work, and see to it that the unwanted children did not long survive… having outlawed birth control and abortion, could find nothing better to do with the overflow than destroy it after all. Aparently this was all right, as long as the decision was not being made by the mothers themselves." — Barbara Walker, "The Woman's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets", p105

  26. Hammiepants

    What the hell is wrong with these assclowns? They act like, "OMG women are SO mysterious, NO ONE knows how their ladybits WORK!", like we're freaking unicorns or leprechauns or something.

    1. emmelemm

      Well, we are unicorns. Yet, amazingly, science has made at least a *few* inroads into determining how we work.

    2. IonaTrailer

      More like coral polyps or insect larva. Seriously, maybe these clowns never looked a snapper in the eye!

  27. no_gravity

    When Steve's down here in Florida next week he needs to take a drive to Polk or Glades Counties where there's not a whole lotta branches on the family trees. (The trees however, are the right height.)

  28. HarryButtle

    I'm tryin' to snark, but I just can't get it up this morning. I am just so angry/sad/depressed that this kind of dialog is getting serious airtime. Fuck, I learned more in my 6th grade sex ed class that these fucktards have learned in their entire lives. And they're motherfucking ELECTED officials with the power to write legislation.

    Between this and the Christian textbook disaster, I'm ready to lose my fucking mind. Fuck!

    1. finallyhappy

      I learned nothing in "sex-ed" in school(we had it but it told us nothing – not until high school and we were not allowed to ask questions- and they told us about a rooster and a hen- and we lived in the city). However, not being a total idiot, pretty much got all the facts anyway. I'm wondering how stupid you have to be to elect or be elected in Akins and King's districts

  29. weejee

    If the D'Rat-loving PACs can't turn the statements made by these Rethug chuckleheads into 24/7 Republicans are at war with women ads, then the DRatz deserve to loze.

  30. JustPixelz

    "…a lady cannot get pregnant from statutory rape or incest."

    If he really believes that, then he shouldn't mind "funding" such abortions because it will never cost a dime.

  31. PsycWench

    Congressman King says he’s not aware of any young victims like that.

    Funny, I'm not aware of any woman who have regretted having an abortion. Clearly none exist. King should look into that.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      I remember walking along the beach in Santa Cruz and there was a long trail of corndogs on the sand. There was a single bite taken out of each one.

    1. Lot_49

      Nobody said democracy would be perfect. There were no hints that it could get this bad, either. C'mon, Athenians: how would you have dealt with a classical Greek equivalent of Rep Steve King? Henghnehgh?

  32. kittensdontlie

    The Proof is in their Pregnancy Test for Teens:

    Pregnant=Unrepentent Reprobate.

    Not Pregnant=Chaste.

  33. thurufally

    “Well I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way, and I’d be open to discussion about that subject matter,” King said.

    Sounds to me like he wants to fuck a twelve-year old.

  34. UnholyMoses

    Y'all realize none of this shit is an accident, right?

    The comments from scrubs like Akin and clowns like King (who has a very long history of Teh Stoopid) have two parts:

    1. They reaffirm their extremist Christian belief that men are the leaders, women the followers. Women are to do what men say, which is why they have the whole "the man is the head of the house like Jesus is the head of the church" in so many wedding vows. Thus, they can't really be "raped" because if a man wants some sexxytime, a woman has no choice but to give it.

    2. Their belief that women who get pregnant out of wedlock are sluts and whores, full stop. We hear it all the fucking time, about how women either deserved to be raped because of what they were wearing, or because they were flirting too much, or whatever else. Good and wholesome women would never be put into that position, donchyaknow.

    I'm not sure either of these fuckwads is smart enough to realize what they were doing, but make no mistake: their comments weren't slips of the tongue or just worded poorly. They revealed the conservative mindset in ways they probably never realized–ways that will, if there is any fucking shred of decency in the world, doom them and their party forfuckingever and ever.

    Regardless, as a Missourian, I'm utterly ashamed this guy has any supporters remaining, as this should cause him to get trounced in November.

    And I'm even more ashamed that it probably won't.

    1. tessiee

      3. They're changing the game to their playing field. Ever since Roe v. Wade got passed, the discussion has been "should abortion be made illegal, except in cases of rape or incest". Apparently, and unbelievably, we've lost a step, because we're now actually debating whether abortion should be available to victims of rape or incest — which basically means, *ever*.
      Way to move the goalposts, guys.

  35. Lot_49

    Sure wish you Vagino-Americans would get used to the idea that you're property, not human beings with "rights" or "free will." The Republicans will ferociously guard you until the moment of birth, at which point it becomes apparent that you're female.

    1. fatbob54

      Yeah well, we thought that whole Civil War thing was settled in 1865. At this point, I'd be willing to let the south go it's own way if we get them to idiots like king with them… (My apologies to any Wonketteers who reside below the Mason Dixon line.)

    2. tessiee

      Hell, we're still (or again) debating evolution being taught in schools, and I thought *that* was settled in 1925!

  36. bauserdotcom

    I can sort of believe he's never heard of a pregnant rape victim, because rape victims don't like talking to guys like Steve King. He seems like he'd be a victim-blamer.

  37. Tundra Grifter

    There was a time in American history when actually campaigning for political office – particularly for President – was considered to be rather unseemly. Just in poor taste.

    McKinley's famous "Front Porch Campaign" comes to mind. Several other Presidential candidates tried that – mostly, it seems, folks from Ohio. Being a Buckeye myself, I suspect they were just too lazy to get out on the trail.

    However, today's GNoP should give very serious consideration to returning to that philosophy. It would be tough to see how it could do any worse.

  38. Designer_Rants

    (It has of course already been suggested that if those things are not against the law in the United States of America, perhaps Steve King could spend some time trying to craft some bills to make them so!)

    Yeah, and he would if the libtard-o Teen Legitimate-Rape & Outta State 'Bortion lobby wasn't buying and paying for every politician 'cept Steve King with George Soros' money.

    1. PubOption

      As far as I am aware, of all the things he has listed, only dropping the girl off at the swingset is currently lawful. So he hasn't really got much to ban.

  39. Fox E. Puppet

    Forget about sex ed in the classrooms- can't we at least get a sex ed class for the legislature? With mandatory attendance?

    These guys should realize that the stork doesn't just deliver babies to the closest cabbage patch.

      1. Fox E. Puppet

        Not being much of a Rush fan, what does that entail? I tried looking it up but just saw some blather about dystopian lyrics.

        You know that dystopian anything is a bad idea, because these guys think '1984', 'Brave New World', 'Handmaid's Tale', etc. are excellent models of how to control a potentially unruly populace…

        1. Chet Kincaid_

          On the album, Neil Peart credits "the genius of Ayn Rand." Rand, a Russian-born Jewish-American novelist and creator of the philosophy of Objectivism, wrote a novella titled Anthem (itself adopted as the title of another Rush song, from the album Fly By Night) from which Peart borrowed the broad strokes of the plot.

          1. Fox E. Puppet

            Bringing up the metaphysical question:

            "Should you call a band 'progrock', if they aren't progressive?"

  40. BlueStateLibel

    "Congressman King says he’s not aware of any young victims like that."

    The Lady doth protest too much.

    Steve King is starting to remind me of dollhouse-maker/rapist killer from "The Lovely Bones."

    1. sullivanst

      Yeah, I know. Is he going to let Steve King just run away with the "worst congresscritter named King" crown?

      1. Crank_Tango

        Never. Like clockwork, he will come out with something outrageous within the next two weeks.

  41. YouBetcha

    "I've been an unrepentant cousin-fucker for years, nay, decades. Not a single one of my kin has ever gotten pregnant as a result. Therefore, science. You're welcome, America."

  42. anniegetyerfun

    Suddenly, ultra-conservatives everywhere are utterly unaware that women are regularly sexually assaulted at all ages.

    "I've never heard of that at all! Why, it would be awful, if I had heard of it! But since I haven't, it probably hasn't happened. Ergo, slut."

  43. fuflans

    Well I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way, and I’d be open to discussion about that subject matter

    cause seriously. if i were a 13 year old – pregnant by, say my stepdad or the local priest – the very first person i would get personal with would be…steve king.

  44. Cheburashka64

    Hopefully, both King and Akin will be out of a job soon, so they can do what both were obviously born to do, write textbooks for Louisiana. King will handle the law stuff, with Akin taking the science.

  45. Guppy

    News flash: Steve King admits he either hasn't read or doesn't believe literally the Book of Genesis! Tea Party primary challenger pending!

  46. tessiee

    "force her to undergo an abortion across state lines"

    Just so we're clear, forcing her to have an in-state abortion is still OK though, right?

  47. tessiee

    pardon the obvious pun, but have none of these ass monkeys ever heard of the First Rule of Holes?
    [for those who are unfamiliar, the first rule of holes is: When you fall into a hole, stop digging]
    First, Beavis says that pregnancy doesn't result from rape.
    Now, what is it, two days later, this guy says pregnancy doesn't result from rape OR incest?
    I can hardly wait till tomorrow, when one of them will say something like, "I know for a fact that women can't get pregnant fron incest, like my daughter, my sexy, sexy daughter."

    it's almost admirable, the way they hang themselves with their tongues.

  48. tessiee

    "force her to undergo an abortion"

    forcing a girl or woman to have an abortion = terrible, terrible thing
    forcing a girl or woman to carry a pregnancy to term = peachy keen

  49. DahBoner

    Do you get the feeling that this guy lingers at McDonald's near the playground maybe a little too long???

  50. TxSpinyLizrd

    Did you know that Aretha Franklin got pregnant with her first child when she was 13? Neither did Steve King.

  51. Negropolis

    Shorter Steve King: "Unless I've personally heard or witnessed something, it didn't happen."

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