they're on a boat!

Caption Contest! Mitt And Ann Romney Are On A Boat

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They're on a boat! Tupper Romney tweets this photo of Mitt and Ann Romney on a boat. For some reason, His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney — who is objectively a handsome man — always looks super gross and greasy when he’s on vacation at “Lake Winni.” Here they look like nothing so much as a really sweaty and awful Viagra ad. But do you think they look like a sweaty and awful Viagra ad? Or do you think they look like something else?

Caption away!

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barb_

    "Let's go visit our money" also known as, "Around the world in 80 days and banks.

    This is for MissTaken:
    ╔╗╔╦══╦═╦═╦╗╔╗ ★ ★ ★
    ║╚╝║══║═║═║╚╝║ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
    ║╔╗║╔╗║╔╣╔╩╗╔╝ ★ BIRTHDAY ★
    ╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝═╚╝ ♥¥☆★☆★☆¥♥ ★☆

    • SorosBot

      I'll be sure to let her know – she's taking off and will be out most of today, and so won't be around much if at all.

      • JustPixelz

        It's like you're her stalker and her personal assistant.

      • Callyson

        I send happy birthday greetings as well!

    • MissTaken

      Thanks sweetie! Like SB said, I'm not working today so I won't be making my old ass presence known much today. But thank you!!

      • Barb_

        You're welcome!

      • MosesInvests

        Happy birthday!

      • fartknocker

        Happy Birthday MissTaken. You're fabulous.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        It's our loss! Happy Birthday!

      • Steverino247

        Happy Birthday! I was up in SF on Saturday and resisted the temptation to stand at Fifth and Market awaiting a ball rub.

        (I was guiding a party of visually impaired veterans from the VA blind school in Menlo Park. Interesting day.)

      • redarmyzombie

        Holy crap, the things I miss when I'm away…

        Happy Birthday, MissTaken!

    • Callyson

      Cool bling, Barb!

      • Barb_

        Thanks Callyson!

  • ChernobylSoup

    "Gilligan, I thought this was only a 3 hour tour."

    • SorosBot

      It's Willard and Ann Howell III.

    • TootsStansbury

      Well if it lasts more than four hours Mitt will need to seek medical attention.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    'We're not going fast enough! Throw some more poor people into the furnace.'

    • joobajooba

      I love the Internet. The add next to this comment says "There's a better way to heat your home."

    • Negropolis

      Renewable energy! To the children mines!

  • mookwrthwilson

    What do his people christen boats with?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Smaller boats.

    • IonaTrailer

      The blood of white Siberian tigers, killed during a full moon, on a Tuesday.

    • jodyleek

      Dwarfs.

    • Wadisay

      Mormons use bottles of Catawba.

    • Weenus299

      fairy urine.

    • tessiee

      Dog pee and poo.
      Oh, no, wait.
      That's what they christen cars with.

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      De-caff non-alcoholic Irish coffee. (Really, these people just don't get the point.)

    • CthuNHu

      You people.

    • Negropolis

      Dead babies? Whole milk?

  • hagajim

    "You know, its sure nice when our rich asses can while away the day on the lake." – Mittens Rmoney.

    • Veritas78

      If he's having that much fun, why doesn't he do it 365 days a year? Because he could, for the rest of his life, and he would still never run out of money.

      But no, he has to be President and fuck up our miserable existences, too.

  • orygoon

    You can never be too rich or too clueless.

  • el_donaldo

    "Hellspawn"

  • JohnnyQuick

    "You know how many kids we have. It wasn't rape, honey."

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "This rope? Well, I save money when I use Ann as an anchor."

  • SorosBot

    Viagra ad? That boat could use two outdoor bathtubs for them to lie back and relax in, while holding hands.

    • Terry

      Ann is also bundled up like she's trying to keep a few layers between them.

    • MaxNeanderthal

      That's not a boat. A floating fornicatorium, yes. A real boat, no.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      the Romneys always mix in a bit of animal cruelty to get the uh, juices flowing. Such as pitbull fights, or slashing a monkey with razors or the traditional favorite: boiling a horse in a giant pot. That's how Ann sends a message to her other equine captives, er pets…

  • pinkocommi

    "I am Wilfred 'Mittens' Romney, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht."

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "Several of each, in fact. And, oh yeah, by the way? I pay taxes at a lower rate than you."

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      +20 for referencing that cartoon.

      • BerkeleyBear

        If only the IRS would come after this SOB like they went after ol' Elmer.

        • doloras

          "I may be a scwewy wabbit, but I ain't going to Alcatwaz".

    • IonaTrailer

      I luuuvv me some Elmer Fudd.

    • http://wonkette.com NorbertsRevenge

      rrrrrrrabbitskenia! ze vorst case I have ever seen!

  • Tom_Moe

    Thurston and Lovey headed out on a 3 hour tour.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    "what do you mean, no boat elevator?"

    heyyo!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Does anyone else see the old man clinging to the capsized rowboat in their wake?

    • tessiee

      They sure didn't.

  • mavenmaven

    "See? We're super rich but we still look dorkey"
    "Mitt, did you fart again?"

    • Angry_Marmot

      ♪ And I know that my fart will go on… ♪

  • stopthemovie

    I'am on a motherfuckin boat.

    • Isyaignert

      Ha! My son's in the US Coast Guard reserves and they sing that song every time they get on their boat.

    • BarackMyWorld

      He won't be fornicating with any mermaids, fortunately.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    "just going to visit our monies"

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "Fine Corinthian Leather."

  • fawkedifiknow

    "I wonder what the poor people are doing today?"

    • Katydid

      What do the simple folk do

      To help them escape when they're blue?

      The shepard who is ailing, the milkmaid who is glum

      The cobbler who is wailing from nailing his thumb

      When they're beset and besieged

      The folk not noblessly obliged

      However do they manage to shed their weary lot?

      Oh, what do simple folk do…we do not?

      • tessiee

        They dance… so I'm told.
        *dances around living room*

    • TootsStansbury

      Oh come on, they don't give a shit about poorz.

    • BarackMyWorld

      At Kinko's making copies.

    • Negropolis

      This is not realistic enough. Everyone knows that Mitt doesn't care about the poor.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Cialis ad, Editrix. That's the one that uses the two bathtubs

  • IonaTrailer

    "Tonight Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) sleeps with the fishes."

    • JustPixelz

      Those poor fish. Don't they get a choice over who to sleep with?

      • UW8316154

        That isn't a legitimate choice.

  • SoBeach

    Mitt and Ann relax aboard their yacht "Little Loophole"

  • Emmieru

    Honey, do you think the Howells are richer than we are?

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      Three-hour tours are for poor people, my friend.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Ann and Mitt enjoy a soak in their expensive mobile hot tub.

    • ph7

      MAKING FUN OF ANN'S MS THERAPY CROSSES THE LINE!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        So THAT'S why the water's bubbling!

        • tessiee

          OK, but then why is there KY in the bubbles?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            MAKING FUN OF ANN'S MS THERAPY CROSSES THE LINE!

  • elgin_pelican

    "I made over $50 million last year working from home! Try my easy system to riches, available on DVD or VHS, and start YOUR path to success beyond your wildest dreams!"

    • OneYieldRegular

      Come to think of it, that is sort of the Romney platform…

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "Ann, isn't it just thrilling when we visit our Offshore accounts?"

    "Whoa, calm down Mitt, you seem a bit too human."

  • elviouslyqueer

    Paddle faster, Rafalca!

  • LibertyLover

    Ann: "Mitt just played that stupid "pull my finger" joke on me again. I am not amused."

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    Where is Rafalca?

    • nounverb911

      She fell off her skis?

      • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

        Oops, there goes Mitt's tax deduction…

    • GhostBuggy

      Pulling the boat.

    • WIDTAP

      Come now, who would put their pony on a boat…other than Lyle Lovett.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        It is very rude of you to call Julia Roberts horse-faced!!

      • tessiee

        Lisa Simpson, when they were visiting Herb Powell?

    • Wadisay

      On the roof.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Mitt and Ann relax shortly before Mitt jumps and hogties a gay man to cut his hair

    • nounverb911

      Lindsey Graham?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        He wouldn't have to hogtie Lins.

  • PubOption

    He's going the wrong way, he should be disappearing into the sunset.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      That's not the sun, that's the glowing portal to hell he boated out of to do Beezlebub's work.

    • Guppy

      He's headed back to Europe!

  • BornInATrailer

    "When the time is right…"

  • Billmatic

    Remember the Olympics guys? I saved them!

  • nounverb911

    Needs more icebergs.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Mitt and Ann spend a relaxing moment on the poop deck of the Titanic 2, before the campaign swings into gear.

  • BornInATrailer

    "The expression of a man about to go below decks into the Stabbin' Cabin"

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Boy!! Will you move that sun to the left a bit, my neck is getting sunburnt.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    Why yes, I am wearing 2 pairs of shorts per Mormon rules

  • elviouslyqueer

    Mitt: "My other boat is an Eclipse."

    Ann: "Let them eat wake."

    • IonaTrailer

      Romney is an ignorant clod-hopper compared to Roman Abramovich. Now there's a real thief!

    • ph7

      I'm willing to bet Mitt actually thought he was "being real" by riding in this non-yacht.

      • UnholyMoses

        It might no be a "yacht," but it's easily a $1 million+ boat. (Looks like the back of a Sea Ray, but not sure they'd slum it by riding in one of those. Whatever the fuck it is, it's goddamn big.)

        • valgal2342

          Sea Ray? Sea Rays are for the little people! If they have any class, it's a Cobalt.

    • x111e7thst

      Ann: "Let them eat wake." There is just no way to like that enough.

  • 738838

    Don't worry Ann, Seamus is in his crate on the bow.

    • MosesInvests

      Actually, I think Seamus' crate is strapped to a wakeboard being dragged astern.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Well Ann, it's been a long day and what with this beautiful sunset and all, I'm feeling a little 'legitimate', if you know what I mean.

  • Angry_Marmot

    "Rev the engines higher, I can still hear the Irish clog-dancing below deck."

  • PsycWench

    Ann Romney models the new designer straitjacket in Uterus Red.

    • JustPixelz

      And sunglasses. At dusk. Facing away from the sun.

      What is that condition where you can't stand sunlight? Oh yeah … zombie.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      that's the best i've ever seen her look though.

  • SorosBot

    "You think this sunset's nice? You should see the ones on the planet I'll rule after my death."

    • Isyaignert

      We need to let people know the bizarre things the Moron (oops typo) Church espouses – namely that it's okay to LIE if it helps the Church, your business or your family, in addition to all of th other crazy crap they believe.

  • CivicHoliday

    "We're gonna need a bigger boat"

    • DCBloom

      Damn, I was gonna say that

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "Sunset in America."

    • Steverino247

      Ain't that a goddamned fact.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    "Mitt! What are you doing with that rope in your hand? Did you forget to tie the dog to the back of the boat again?"

    • no_gravity

      Damn, beat me to it. That's what I get for working. Ok, really, for taking a bathroom break.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Gee, even when they're having fun, Ann continues to emit Imperial Ice Princess vibes.

  • orygoon

    "What are you staring at? I bought another boat just like this for my church!"

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    "Tell me the Natalie Wood story again dear…"

    • no_gravity

      Name a wood that doesn't float.

      • IonaTrailer

        Or wash up on shore.

    • Negropolis

      "Well, you see, Ann, when a husband and wife don't love each other very much…."

  • Mittens Howell, III

    "Almost home Ann, we're approaching the yacht elevator now."

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Ann: Dear, why isn’t anyone driving the boat?
    Mittens: It’s OK, we’re rich.
    Ann: I suppose this might be some sort of analogy to how you would run the country.
    Mittens: What part of “we’re rich” didn’t you understand?

  • TootsStansbury

    Tupper?!

    • ph7

      What is Tupper wearing?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      The shameful secret of the Romneys: they needed a turkey baster.

    • Preferred Customer

      Is he the ghost Romney that talks to the butler?

      • Geminisunmars

        My God, you must be old.

        • bobbert

          Neal?

    • PubOption

      Even Lou Sarah didn't think of that name.

  • GhostBuggy

    Careful, Mitt! Don't get your circuits wet!

  • Blueb4sinrise

    "This is all you people need to know."

  • Katydid

    "Marriage is the sacred union of an incredibly wealthy man and an incredibly compliant woman."

  • An_Outhouse

    "Mitt and Ann enjoying some time with their latest tax write off"

  • ShreditorsDesk

    That's not a boat, that's a floating hottub!

  • SexySmurf

    "Thank goodness Mormons don't have genitalia, or else I wouldn't be able to cross my legs in such a feminine way."

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "Daylight come, and me wanna go home."

  • Angry_Marmot

    ♪ "I'm gonna put your job on a slow boat to China…" ♫

  • DahBoner

    "A shark bite a Romney? Why, he wouldn't dare. HA HA HA HA HA HA…"

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Professional courtesy.

  • MacRaith

    "A rising tide lifts all boats. But my enormous boat creates a big-ass wake that will capsize any smaller boats that get too close, sucker. I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve this message."

  • Katydid

    "Ann, why in the motherfuck did we name that boy Tagg? You just know Wonkett, to which everything is funny, is going to make fun of him and call him Tupper or somesuch. My spawn and I have too much monies to be made fun of."

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      At least he didn't name it Tri–

      +++
      NO CARRIER

  • SixThirty

    His tax returns sunk in an iron box at the bottom of the lake where no one would EVER find them, Mitt smiled and put his arm around Ann as the servants rang the dinner bell. Tomorrow his handlers would chide him for allowing the spray to endanger his CPU, but for now, Life was Good.

  • Terry

    You, too, can own a yacht and be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. Simply make four easy payments of $29.95 and receive our 2 cassette set on the secret to investing, a product valued at over $300.

  • Goonemeritus

    To me they look like a remake of Miami Vice if the detectives were old and Colombia found a way to smuggle cocaine direct to Lake Winnipesaukee.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth
    • Jus_Wonderin

      Mitt and Ayn?

  • WIDTAP

    It was only after Ann noticed the rope that she realized what Mitt meant when he referred to her as his "Chum"

  • belmontreport

    I don't understand why you would want to be President when you could just be a retired super rich guy on vacation for the rest of your life.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      The Presidency is like an untapped Market. There is money to be made (under the table and then shipped offshore).

      • Isyaignert

        All of the rich fukkers that are supporting Rmoney are making an investment. They fully expect to make a 1000% return on their investment if we should be so unfortunate to have him in the White House. These fukkers will never have enough, no matter how much they have. More, more, more, more more!!

    • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

      You can never be too thin or too super rich. The man is OBSESSED with tax breaks. Ryan's pay less than 1% legally plan makes Mitt harder than a 19 year old boy at the Playboy mansion. It's the only thing that does.

    • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant

      He's still trying to "show daddy something." So we get another empty, Oedipal, Republican suit.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    "Now let's get one with Rafalca in the middle!!!!!"

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      The Ring was one scary movie…

  • ph7

    Tupper seems to share his father's disconnected belief that America will be impressed by a leader who is far richer than you, and flaunts it.

    • Geminisunmars

      To be fair, he was thinking that this was a nice pic of them enjoying a lovely twilight on their yacht just like other ordinary Americans do.

  • SpiderCrab

    Mitt, will you please remove your fingers from my underpants.

  • tracyhasfun

    Just smile, Ann. As soon as the election is over, THEN you can give the peons the finger…don't make me use the rope.

  • Dirkrockwood

    Tell the people in chains to row faster, we want to water ski.

  • Preferred Customer

    No, Mitt. You are supposed to ride off into the sunset.

  • Mojopo

    I believe you meant Tang Romney. Dah!

  • Geminisunmars

    Don't worry, Ann. This rope is for tying down dog crates, that's all.

  • Mapmonger

    We're on a boat, But look at my horse. My horse is amazing.

    • pepperpat

      You'd be amazing too if you tasted like raisins.

      • tessiee

        Those weren't raisins.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    "And this comfy boat seat doubles as a toilet for 12. T.M.I.?"

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Nylon rope: the perfect tool for erotic asphyxiation

  • Poindexter718

    Does this boat make my hair look flat?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    OT
    Received 'nother email from Michelle O.

    "Before you go to bed tonight, do me a favor…."

    I keep telling her that it just can't be. Woman is hopelessly in love, I guess.

    • Guppy

      You might want to coordinate changing your phone number with your impending breakup.

      • Blueb4sinrise

        Should I try Can't we just be friends? first?

        • Guppy

          The problem there is that you and she have very different definitions of the word "friend." She'll call/text/email you constantly, overshare her sex life with you (with pictures!), and if you two do end up having sex again it will be even crazier than before.

          Or so I've heard.

          • Blueb4sinrise

            just now checked this and am LMAO.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "Whoever drops their aspirin first gets to be the 'horse' tonight, Hon!"

    • Chichikovovich

      Are you suggesting that after the ride on Lake Winni, Ann straps on the Lake Winni peg?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Groan-inducing! And the pun was painful, too.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    "Boy our kid is a real idiot huh?"

  • UW8316154

    "I wear my sunglasses at night."

  • CrunchyKnee

    She's cold on her upper body, but warm down below. Weird.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Motorboating. U R doin it rong.

  • UW8316154

    Boy she's a frozen, cold bitch, isn't she? Oh, and I dispute that Mitt is "objectively handsome" – he is "not unattractive". Bammers is totally handsome, and Ryan looks sketchy – like some douche-bag trying to pick up chicks at a club in Belltown.

  • http://slackoftownnola.wordpress.com Comrade Wingtardd

    "It's a good thing Rafalca's strapped to the top of the cabin. What a beautiful horse!"

  • sacoharry

    The Rich Kids of Instagram

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Get the fuck out of my sunset picture.

  • Toomush_Infer

    "Mitt, could you check the temperature on the lake ?- I think we need to turn the dial up a couple of degrees…."

  • kittensdontlie

    Given the name Tagg, the Romneys thought he would never amount to much. With a 'accidental entanglement' with a rope on the lake at night, gone overboard would be their problem child in a 'tragic accident'—and would certainly garner a few sympathy votes.

    • tessiee

      Too bad George Sr. and Bar didn't think of that 30 years ago; there might still be an America.

  • scionkirk

    "Let's see, if we move this over here, and that over there, we can lay off thousands and avoid pension obligations! Man, I just love how fresh air gets those evil gears moving."

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    The iceberg is in the boat.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Ann looks a little frigid, as she always does during activities not involving Rafalca.

    (Remember when they used to call women "frigid," Oldsters?)

    • Geminisunmars

      Those were colder times.

    • Chichikovovich

      Remember when they used to call women "frigid,"

      I don't know what you mean. That never happened when I was around.

      Bada-bum.

    • Isyaignert

      I resemble that remark (the oldster one not the frigid one). I remember that term. It means that it's always the woman's fault when she can't get off after 10 seconds of foreplay and 60 seconds of banging. The concensus was that there must be something wrong with the woman when she "disappointed" the man by not having fireworks orgazms whilst with such a fantastic luvah (in his own mind).

    • ph7

      Proof again that marrying for money is the hardest way to earn it.

  • tessiee

    "Look at your President. Now back to me. Your President isn't me. Where are you? You're on a boat with the man who is not President. Look again. My hands are full of money and diamonds. Thanks, suckers."

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Underappreciated!

  • IonaTrailer

    "Mitt, honey…I noticed the rats are leaving the ship. What do you think this means?"

  • http://parterre.com La_Cieca

    Study: High Risk of Skin Cancer for Lesbian Couples.

  • OneYieldRegular

    "We've given enough to you people."

  • Guppy

    "Let's take the big boat out next time."

  • Tundra Grifter

    "Yachts of Luck"

    or

    "Yachts of Yuck."

  • IonaTrailer

    "Do these shorts make me look like a white whale?"

    • Isyaignert

      That reminds me of a line I heard once – "Do these pants make me look fat? No, it's the fat makes you look fat."

  • Biff

    Tupper? For fuck's sake…

    • viennawoods13

      Maybe they're fans of early Canadian Prime Ministers? Or plastic storage containers?

      • Biff

        As am I, but I'd never name my offspring after them!

  • Weenus299

    "I got your number right here, motherfucker!" http://www.indecisionforever.com/blog/2012/05/07/

    • Geminisunmars

      So, he has a history of "disorderly boating", I see.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "Just as the Romneys seemed to have safely escaped the explosion of Mitt's campaign, Ann suddenly turned back to look at it and was transformed into a pillar of salt."

  • IonaTrailer

    "Call me Willard"

  • MinAgain

    No stranger to kinky boat sex, Mittens prepares to tie Annie to the yardarm for flogging, but can't locate her hands.

  • tessiee

    "I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"
    "Shhh! Not yet! Not yet!"

  • tessiee

    "Wow, there sure are a lot of fish in this lake! I'll bet if you threw a body in, it would never be found."
    "Why would you say that?"
    "Umm… No reason."

    [you can actually have either "person" say either part]

  • mbobier

    Ah, yes, my favorite comedy — "What About Mitt:"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HROJflp4-EY

    btw — optics for next Obama commercial could not be more perfect.

  • tessiee

    "Hey, Paul Ryan! Row faster! The Missus and I feel like water skiing!"

  • Meadow58

    "Fire! " – Phil Hartman as Frankenstein on SNL.

  • PubOption

    Do you think that they have temple-garment tan lines?

  • tessiee

    You know, *usually* when they say "he sleeps with the fishes", it means something different.

  • ChrisM2011

    "After a long day of drowning peasants, Mitt likes to untie his wife and pose in front of beautiful sunsets (Did he mention several of his friends own suns?)."

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Feels like almost-Mormon Heaven,
    Where glo-white Sterile-Goes To Eleven

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    is that a noose in his hand?

  • valeriebock

    Mitt: "Hey, chill out – I just watched while my cockswain raped Ann on that island back there, and you don't hear her whining for a freakin' abortion!"

  • valeriebock

    "Us, after drunken night of skinny-dipping in the Sea of Galilee."

  • http://parterre.com La_Cieca

    "Oh, for Pete's sake, Quintus Arrius, you call this ramming speed?"

  • Baconzgood

    WE'RE RICH BITCH!!!!!!!!

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    "He he he…. Since I just dumped my last 20 years of tax records in the lake – I am pretty sure this boat ride is a deductible expense!!!"

  • Fox n Fiends

    J. Crude

  • pdiddycornchips

    "Ann is rehearsing for her role in Weekend at Bernie's Redux"

  • ihrtfancypants

    Full speed ahead! To international waters! I need to acquire some more foreign policy experience this evening!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "Stiffen up, Hon! If we look like we're not really enjoying it, the Poors won't resent us as much!"

  • Steverino247

    When the mood strikes, send your employees' jobs to CHINA.

    Caution: Sending jobs to CHINA for four or more decades can lead to permanent economic damage.

  • mormos

    Day one as president I will burn America to the ground then sail away smiling.

  • valeriebock

    "Let's see if you people can find those tax returns NOW."

  • Eve8Apples

    Only the little people pay more than 13.9% of their income in taxes.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    The smug is strong with these two.

  • kissawookiee

    We paid $347,000 for this boat–you know, really not very much at all.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    "He he he….. Ann, since your horse lost, I guess you know who cleans up after her for the next 6 months"

  • thefrontpage

    "I sure wish Todd Akin and Hank Williams, Jr., were here with us to enjoy this! They're always the life of the parties!" Romney said to his wife as they cruised Lake Erie just before the sun went down. (Unassociated Press photo by Cam Cameron)

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    "he he he…. I never would have thought this rope was long enough to get around Rafalca's neck, much less strong enough to strangle her with…."

  • thefrontpage

    Two unidentified people, reportedly drunk on Colt 45 Malt Liquor and cheap tequila, rested after vomiting repeatedly for several hours on Hank Williams, Jr.'s inflatable water raft on the Mississippi River during a recent water barbeque and pig roast sponsored by the Iowa State Fair. (Agency French Press Agency photo by Ted Nugent, Jr.)

  • schvitzatura

    Stuttering,
    Cold and damp,
    Steal the warm wind
    Tired friend.
    Times are gone
    For honest men
    And sometimes,
    Far too long
    For snakes.

  • huronbikes

    "I'm so glad we took the dancing horse waterskiing for your MS, honey"

  • BarackMyWorld

    The 6th Romney son? T-Pain.

  • thefrontpage

    Anderson Cooper and Liz Chaney relax, out of make-up, on a recent sunset cruise on the Potomac River outside of Washington, D.C., sponsored by the Openly Gay League of Excellence (OGLE), during a fundraiser sponsored by OGLE for Obama-Biden 2012. (Weekly World News photo by Lobster Man.)

  • thefrontpage

    One of Thomas Kincaid's last paintings, "Man and Woman on Boat at Sunset," failed to attract much interest at a recent Southeby's auction, finally selling for only $19.95. (Southeby's photo by Smigley Southeby III.)

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Pantagonia's H2No Exosphere Jacket for women who are up for climbing Alaska's Denali or are really cold fish who are married to a putz who's career is in its sunset and you need to keep warm cause he's no help.

  • ttommyunger

    His: crossed at the knees. Hers: crossed at the ankle. Both: crossed pretty much all of the time, I'm guessing.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "Who really understands the way you live — Ann and I, or those Negroes in the White House?"

  • proudgrampa

    "I'm multi-millionaire Mitt Romney. And you're not."

  • barto

    "I keep this here rope handy in case I see any floundering millionaires. Poors? Not so much."

  • Callyson

    "I can see our money from here"

  • zotmugu

    Champagne kisses and caviar dreams… The life we intend to make sure you never get to have!

  • Pithaughn

    Captain Stabben and his "crew" heading for a secluded mooring.

  • ZN1300

    At least he doesn't have to ride "bitch" on the yacht.

  • http://archikvetch.blogspot.com/ archikvetch

    "This trickle-down my leg sure lifted up my boat!"

  • larrykat

    "I told you I'd take the ropes off if you keep quiet."

  • thurufally

    Turn the goddamn boat around and ride off into the sunset already

  • rocktonsam

    Mittens has nicer legs than Annie

  • owhatever

    Looking for a place to dump the bitch when he loses. No big loss, since he has five more.

  • tomchicago01

    "Honey, do you hear a waterfall?"

  • tessiee

    "Sweetums, I feel like slumming. Let's go to the [heh heh] *millionaires'* beach!"

  • rickmaci

    "Yo ho yo ho, a capitalist pirate's life for me…."

  • upthruster

    "Red shorts in the sunset…."

  • ShuCityRefugee

    The knees are the right height!

  • ShuCityRefugee

    Creating a bigger wake than any Kennedy!

  • kingofmeh

    "i named this boat 'tax return' so that i could truthfully say i have paid 13% of my income on my tax return."

  • joiseyguy

    We don't make waves, honey, we hire other people to make them for us.

  • Antispandex

    "IF the boat were to turn over, and IF I had only one life jacket…"

  • BklynE

    Weekend at Mittens. There is no possible way that Ann is alive in this photograph (and you would think that Mittens would at least hide the rope…

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    "I told you this powerboat was fast enough to outrun Putin's nukes."

  • http://wonkette.com/ VA_Dreaming

    Anne Romney demonstrates Mitt Romney's warmth by wearing her parka in the summer.

    • reliefsinn

      "But Anne, I'm a man! "
      "Nobody's perfect!"

  • Robman2

    Perspective, cell cameras are poorly designed for traditional imagery. This shot, because of the circular seat, and the narrow perspective give the impression of leggy and lean, not realistic for this pair of overfed foragers in Mohawk tribal lands.

    Caption: What can Wonder Bread do for you?

  • Barrelhse

    What does Tupper wear?

  • http://wonkette.com/ VA_Dreaming

    Mitt, I still think naming our son after tupperware was not a funny joke.

  • Schmegeg

    "I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn't even know it yet. Weeks away and hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable plugged straight into Kurtz."
    '

  • operationpurple

    Too bad about the iceburg abpout to hit that boat full of poor people. Hopefully they will let enough job creators on the life boats.

  • AuRevoirGopher

    Tonight, this man will be getting exactly no action.

  • mr bojangles

    BOATS AND HOES…BOATS AND HOES!

  • Nostrildamus

    "Let's pull up the trolling line and see how Rafalca's doing down there…"

  • unclejeems

    Sad sacks in the sunset.

  • Estproph

    This lake is simply to small for my yacht. I shall have to widen it or perhaps get a larger lake.

  • MLite

    "On our dinghy, heading out to the yacht for some family time."

  • karlamarx

    Waaaaay down upon the smarmy river.

  • Klek

    “Erotic asphyxiation is for rich people too, my friends! My prerogatives just happen to involve a silk rope and stiff wife on my private lake.”

  • grex1949

    Canoe? What canoe? Fuck him.

  • smitallica

    The Romneys out for a leisurely tour of their backyard swimming pool.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Is Ann tied up or something?

  • FajitaFriday

    "How's Seamus doin in the inner tube back there? He seems to like being strapped in it. Makes him feel secure."

  • Veritas78

    I know I'm really late to this party, but I must say: That doesn't look like the back of any boat I've ever been in. Not even remotely.

    Also, where's the flag? Isn't there supposed to be a flag back there? Ahem?

  • http://mbouffant.blogspot.com M. Bouffant

    Look closely at Ann Romney. Did she forget her teeth?

  • Egomet_bonmot

    Team Romney: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

  • Dartemus

    Life vests? No-oh-oh (nervous laugh)…safety nets just make people dependent!

  • notreelyhelping

    "This makes me feel so James Bondy! Don't you feel kind of James Bondy?"
    "NO, Willard."

  • JackObin

    They look like bored mormons.

  • OldRedneck

    Does the Governor know who killed the fishermen?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wiwlqNH1u0

  • Egomet_bonmot

    Scoot down.

  • Egomet_bonmot

    Take the helm, America.

  • Egomet_bonmot

    You didn't build that.

  • Egomet_bonmot

    Then I just tap here Dad and it uploads to Twitter and everyone sees you relaxed.

  • Egomet_bonmot

    Straight outta Salt Lake.

  • WeissSpyder

    Go ahead Ann, swallow, I always do.

  • YasserArraFeck

    Don't worry – Seamus is tied to the bow.

  • W88

    "Sure, you may have a bigger boat but mine runs on caviar."

  • Negropolis

    "I like boats; the masts are the right height. I like the lakes. All of them, Katie. The big ones and the ….I like cars! Oh Jeeves, throw another poor in the boiler, why don't you."

  • Genio1

    "No, darling, nothing is trying to get in the boat. That's the sound of poor people. Keep smiling…"

  • mayor_quimby

    Out of touch is when you don't get that pictures of you on a boat that is bigger than my house is not a good thing.
    Tupper: Hey, just a pic of my daddy on a boat couch bigger an you people's actual couch.
    Fucking dick nozzles, Cthulhu will not stand long for this.