Tupper Romney tweets this photo of Mitt and Ann Romney on a boat. For some reason, His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney — who is objectively a handsome man — always looks super gross and greasy when he’s on vacation at “Lake Winni.” Here they look like nothing so much as a really sweaty and awful Viagra ad. But do you think they look like a sweaty and awful Viagra ad? Or do you think they look like something else?
Caption away!
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"Let's go visit our money" also known as, "Around the world in 80 days and banks.
This is for MissTaken:
╔╗╔╦══╦═╦═╦╗╔╗ ★ ★ ★
║╚╝║══║═║═║╚╝║ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
║╔╗║╔╗║╔╣╔╩╗╔╝ ★ BIRTHDAY ★
╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝═╚╝ ♥￥☆★☆★☆￥♥ ★☆
I'll be sure to let her know – she's taking off and will be out most of today, and so won't be around much if at all.
It's like you're her stalker and her personal assistant.
I send happy birthday greetings as well!
Thanks sweetie! Like SB said, I'm not working today so I won't be making my old ass presence known much today. But thank you!!
You're welcome!
Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday MissTaken. You're fabulous.
It's our loss! Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday! I was up in SF on Saturday and resisted the temptation to stand at Fifth and Market awaiting a ball rub.
(I was guiding a party of visually impaired veterans from the VA blind school in Menlo Park. Interesting day.)
Holy crap, the things I miss when I'm away…
Happy Birthday, MissTaken!
Cool bling, Barb!
Thanks Callyson!
"Gilligan, I thought this was only a 3 hour tour."
It's Willard and Ann Howell III.
Well if it lasts more than four hours Mitt will need to seek medical attention.
'We're not going fast enough! Throw some more poor people into the furnace.'
I love the Internet. The add next to this comment says "There's a better way to heat your home."
Renewable energy! To the children mines!
What do his people christen boats with?
Smaller boats.
The blood of white Siberian tigers, killed during a full moon, on a Tuesday.
Dwarfs.
Mormons use bottles of Catawba.
fairy urine.
Dog pee and poo.
Oh, no, wait.
That's what they christen cars with.
De-caff non-alcoholic Irish coffee. (Really, these people just don't get the point.)
You people.
Dead babies? Whole milk?
"You know, its sure nice when our rich asses can while away the day on the lake." – Mittens Rmoney.
If he's having that much fun, why doesn't he do it 365 days a year? Because he could, for the rest of his life, and he would still never run out of money.
But no, he has to be President and fuck up our miserable existences, too.
You can never be too rich or too clueless.
"Hellspawn"
"You know how many kids we have. It wasn't rape, honey."
"This rope? Well, I save money when I use Ann as an anchor."
Viagra ad? That boat could use two outdoor bathtubs for them to lie back and relax in, while holding hands.
Ann is also bundled up like she's trying to keep a few layers between them.
That's not a boat. A floating fornicatorium, yes. A real boat, no.
the Romneys always mix in a bit of animal cruelty to get the uh, juices flowing. Such as pitbull fights, or slashing a monkey with razors or the traditional favorite: boiling a horse in a giant pot. That's how Ann sends a message to her other equine captives, er pets…
"I am Wilfred 'Mittens' Romney, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht."
"Several of each, in fact. And, oh yeah, by the way? I pay taxes at a lower rate than you."
+20 for referencing that cartoon.
If only the IRS would come after this SOB like they went after ol' Elmer.
"I may be a scwewy wabbit, but I ain't going to Alcatwaz".
I luuuvv me some Elmer Fudd.
rrrrrrrabbitskenia! ze vorst case I have ever seen!
Thurston and Lovey headed out on a 3 hour tour.
"what do you mean, no boat elevator?"
heyyo!
Does anyone else see the old man clinging to the capsized rowboat in their wake?
They sure didn't.
"See? We're super rich but we still look dorkey"
"Mitt, did you fart again?"
♪ And I know that my fart will go on… ♪
I'am on a motherfuckin boat.
Ha! My son's in the US Coast Guard reserves and they sing that song every time they get on their boat.
He won't be fornicating with any mermaids, fortunately.
"just going to visit our monies"
"Fine Corinthian Leather."
"I wonder what the poor people are doing today?"
What do the simple folk do
To help them escape when they're blue?
The shepard who is ailing, the milkmaid who is glum
The cobbler who is wailing from nailing his thumb
When they're beset and besieged
The folk not noblessly obliged
However do they manage to shed their weary lot?
Oh, what do simple folk do…we do not?
They dance… so I'm told.
*dances around living room*
Oh come on, they don't give a shit about poorz.
At Kinko's making copies.
This is not realistic enough. Everyone knows that Mitt doesn't care about the poor.
Cialis ad, Editrix. That's the one that uses the two bathtubs
"Tonight Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) sleeps with the fishes."
Those poor fish. Don't they get a choice over who to sleep with?
That isn't a legitimate choice.
Mitt and Ann relax aboard their yacht "Little Loophole"
Honey, do you think the Howells are richer than we are?
Three-hour tours are for poor people, my friend.
Ann and Mitt enjoy a soak in their expensive mobile hot tub.
MAKING FUN OF ANN'S MS THERAPY CROSSES THE LINE!
So THAT'S why the water's bubbling!
OK, but then why is there KY in the bubbles?
MAKING FUN OF ANN'S MS THERAPY CROSSES THE LINE!
"I made over $50 million last year working from home! Try my easy system to riches, available on DVD or VHS, and start YOUR path to success beyond your wildest dreams!"
Come to think of it, that is sort of the Romney platform…
"Ann, isn't it just thrilling when we visit our Offshore accounts?"
"Whoa, calm down Mitt, you seem a bit too human."
Paddle faster, Rafalca!
Ann: "Mitt just played that stupid "pull my finger" joke on me again. I am not amused."
Where is Rafalca?
She fell off her skis?
Oops, there goes Mitt's tax deduction…
Pulling the boat.
Come now, who would put their pony on a boat…other than Lyle Lovett.
It is very rude of you to call Julia Roberts horse-faced!!
Lisa Simpson, when they were visiting Herb Powell?
On the roof.
Mitt and Ann relax shortly before Mitt jumps and hogties a gay man to cut his hair
Lindsey Graham?
He wouldn't have to hogtie Lins.
He's going the wrong way, he should be disappearing into the sunset.
That's not the sun, that's the glowing portal to hell he boated out of to do Beezlebub's work.
He's headed back to Europe!
"When the time is right…"
Remember the Olympics guys? I saved them!
Needs more icebergs.
Mitt and Ann spend a relaxing moment on the poop deck of the Titanic 2, before the campaign swings into gear.
"The expression of a man about to go below decks into the Stabbin' Cabin"
Boy!! Will you move that sun to the left a bit, my neck is getting sunburnt.
Why yes, I am wearing 2 pairs of shorts per Mormon rules
Mitt: "My other boat is an Eclipse."
Ann: "Let them eat wake."
Romney is an ignorant clod-hopper compared to Roman Abramovich. Now there's a real thief!
I'm willing to bet Mitt actually thought he was "being real" by riding in this non-yacht.
It might no be a "yacht," but it's easily a $1 million+ boat. (Looks like the back of a Sea Ray, but not sure they'd slum it by riding in one of those. Whatever the fuck it is, it's goddamn big.)
Sea Ray? Sea Rays are for the little people! If they have any class, it's a Cobalt.
Ann: "Let them eat wake." There is just no way to like that enough.
Don't worry Ann, Seamus is in his crate on the bow.
Actually, I think Seamus' crate is strapped to a wakeboard being dragged astern.
Well Ann, it's been a long day and what with this beautiful sunset and all, I'm feeling a little 'legitimate', if you know what I mean.
"Rev the engines higher, I can still hear the Irish clog-dancing below deck."
Ann Romney models the new designer straitjacket in Uterus Red.
And sunglasses. At dusk. Facing away from the sun.
What is that condition where you can't stand sunlight? Oh yeah … zombie.
that's the best i've ever seen her look though.
"You think this sunset's nice? You should see the ones on the planet I'll rule after my death."
We need to let people know the bizarre things the Moron (oops typo) Church espouses – namely that it's okay to LIE if it helps the Church, your business or your family, in addition to all of th other crazy crap they believe.
"We're gonna need a bigger boat"
Damn, I was gonna say that
"Sunset in America."
Ain't that a goddamned fact.
"Mitt! What are you doing with that rope in your hand? Did you forget to tie the dog to the back of the boat again?"
Damn, beat me to it. That's what I get for working. Ok, really, for taking a bathroom break.
Gee, even when they're having fun, Ann continues to emit Imperial Ice Princess vibes.
"What are you staring at? I bought another boat just like this for my church!"
"Tell me the Natalie Wood story again dear…"
Name a wood that doesn't float.
Or wash up on shore.
"Well, you see, Ann, when a husband and wife don't love each other very much…."
"Almost home Ann, we're approaching the yacht elevator now."
Ann: Dear, why isn’t anyone driving the boat?
Mittens: It’s OK, we’re rich.
Ann: I suppose this might be some sort of analogy to how you would run the country.
Mittens: What part of “we’re rich” didn’t you understand?
Tupper?!
What is Tupper wearing?
The shameful secret of the Romneys: they needed a turkey baster.
Is he the ghost Romney that talks to the butler?
My God, you must be old.
Neal?
Even Lou Sarah didn't think of that name.
Careful, Mitt! Don't get your circuits wet!
"This is all you people need to know."
"Marriage is the sacred union of an incredibly wealthy man and an incredibly compliant woman."
"Mitt and Ann enjoying some time with their latest tax write off"
That's not a boat, that's a floating hottub!
"Thank goodness Mormons don't have genitalia, or else I wouldn't be able to cross my legs in such a feminine way."
"Daylight come, and me wanna go home."
♪ "I'm gonna put your job on a slow boat to China…" ♫
"A shark bite a Romney? Why, he wouldn't dare. HA HA HA HA HA HA…"
Professional courtesy.
"A rising tide lifts all boats. But my enormous boat creates a big-ass wake that will capsize any smaller boats that get too close, sucker. I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve this message."
"Ann, why in the motherfuck did we name that boy Tagg? You just know Wonkett, to which everything is funny, is going to make fun of him and call him Tupper or somesuch. My spawn and I have too much monies to be made fun of."
At least he didn't name it Tri–
+++
NO CARRIER
His tax returns sunk in an iron box at the bottom of the lake where no one would EVER find them, Mitt smiled and put his arm around Ann as the servants rang the dinner bell. Tomorrow his handlers would chide him for allowing the spray to endanger his CPU, but for now, Life was Good.
You, too, can own a yacht and be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. Simply make four easy payments of $29.95 and receive our 2 cassette set on the secret to investing, a product valued at over $300.
To me they look like a remake of Miami Vice if the detectives were old and Colombia found a way to smuggle cocaine direct to Lake Winnipesaukee.
Sort of a caption
Mitt and Ayn?
It was only after Ann noticed the rope that she realized what Mitt meant when he referred to her as his "Chum"
I don't understand why you would want to be President when you could just be a retired super rich guy on vacation for the rest of your life.
The Presidency is like an untapped Market. There is money to be made (under the table and then shipped offshore).
All of the rich fukkers that are supporting Rmoney are making an investment. They fully expect to make a 1000% return on their investment if we should be so unfortunate to have him in the White House. These fukkers will never have enough, no matter how much they have. More, more, more, more more!!
You can never be too thin or too super rich. The man is OBSESSED with tax breaks. Ryan's pay less than 1% legally plan makes Mitt harder than a 19 year old boy at the Playboy mansion. It's the only thing that does.
He's still trying to "show daddy something." So we get another empty, Oedipal, Republican suit.
"Now let's get one with Rafalca in the middle!!!!!"
The Ring was one scary movie…
Tupper seems to share his father's disconnected belief that America will be impressed by a leader who is far richer than you, and flaunts it.
To be fair, he was thinking that this was a nice pic of them enjoying a lovely twilight on their yacht just like other ordinary Americans do.
Mitt, will you please remove your fingers from my underpants.
Just smile, Ann. As soon as the election is over, THEN you can give the peons the finger…don't make me use the rope.
Tell the people in chains to row faster, we want to water ski.
No, Mitt. You are supposed to ride off into the sunset.
I believe you meant Tang Romney. Dah!
Don't worry, Ann. This rope is for tying down dog crates, that's all.
We're on a boat, But look at my horse. My horse is amazing.
You'd be amazing too if you tasted like raisins.
Those weren't raisins.
"And this comfy boat seat doubles as a toilet for 12. T.M.I.?"
Nylon rope: the perfect tool for erotic asphyxiation
Does this boat make my hair look flat?
OT
Received 'nother email from Michelle O.
"Before you go to bed tonight, do me a favor…."
I keep telling her that it just can't be. Woman is hopelessly in love, I guess.
You might want to coordinate changing your phone number with your impending breakup.
Should I try Can't we just be friends? first?
The problem there is that you and she have very different definitions of the word "friend." She'll call/text/email you constantly, overshare her sex life with you (with pictures!), and if you two do end up having sex again it will be even crazier than before.
Or so I've heard.
just now checked this and am LMAO.
"Whoever drops their aspirin first gets to be the 'horse' tonight, Hon!"
Are you suggesting that after the ride on Lake Winni, Ann straps on the Lake Winni peg?
Groan-inducing! And the pun was painful, too.
"Boy our kid is a real idiot huh?"
"I wear my sunglasses at night."
She's cold on her upper body, but warm down below. Weird.
Motorboating. U R doin it rong.
Boy she's a frozen, cold bitch, isn't she? Oh, and I dispute that Mitt is "objectively handsome" – he is "not unattractive". Bammers is totally handsome, and Ryan looks sketchy – like some douche-bag trying to pick up chicks at a club in Belltown.
"It's a good thing Rafalca's strapped to the top of the cabin. What a beautiful horse!"
The Rich Kids of Instagram
Get the fuck out of my sunset picture.
"Mitt, could you check the temperature on the lake ?- I think we need to turn the dial up a couple of degrees…."
Given the name Tagg, the Romneys thought he would never amount to much. With a 'accidental entanglement' with a rope on the lake at night, gone overboard would be their problem child in a 'tragic accident'—and would certainly garner a few sympathy votes.
Too bad George Sr. and Bar didn't think of that 30 years ago; there might still be an America.
"Let's see, if we move this over here, and that over there, we can lay off thousands and avoid pension obligations! Man, I just love how fresh air gets those evil gears moving."
The iceberg is in the boat.
Ann looks a little frigid, as she always does during activities not involving Rafalca.
(Remember when they used to call women "frigid," Oldsters?)
Those were colder times.
Remember when they used to call women "frigid,"
I don't know what you mean. That never happened when I was around.
Bada-bum.
I resemble that remark (the oldster one not the frigid one). I remember that term. It means that it's always the woman's fault when she can't get off after 10 seconds of foreplay and 60 seconds of banging. The concensus was that there must be something wrong with the woman when she "disappointed" the man by not having fireworks orgazms whilst with such a fantastic luvah (in his own mind).
Proof again that marrying for money is the hardest way to earn it.
"Look at your President. Now back to me. Your President isn't me. Where are you? You're on a boat with the man who is not President. Look again. My hands are full of money and diamonds. Thanks, suckers."
Underappreciated!
"Mitt, honey…I noticed the rats are leaving the ship. What do you think this means?"
Study: High Risk of Skin Cancer for Lesbian Couples.
"We've given enough to you people."
"Let's take the big boat out next time."
"Yachts of Luck"
or
"Yachts of Yuck."
"Do these shorts make me look like a white whale?"
That reminds me of a line I heard once – "Do these pants make me look fat? No, it's the fat makes you look fat."
Tupper? For fuck's sake…
Maybe they're fans of early Canadian Prime Ministers? Or plastic storage containers?
As am I, but I'd never name my offspring after them!
"I got your number right here, motherfucker!" http://www.indecisionforever.com/blog/2012/05/07/…
So, he has a history of "disorderly boating", I see.
"Just as the Romneys seemed to have safely escaped the explosion of Mitt's campaign, Ann suddenly turned back to look at it and was transformed into a pillar of salt."
"Call me Willard"
No stranger to kinky boat sex, Mittens prepares to tie Annie to the yardarm for flogging, but can't locate her hands.
"I'M KING OF THE WORLD!"
"Shhh! Not yet! Not yet!"
"Wow, there sure are a lot of fish in this lake! I'll bet if you threw a body in, it would never be found."
"Why would you say that?"
"Umm… No reason."
[you can actually have either "person" say either part]
Ah, yes, my favorite comedy — "What About Mitt:"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HROJflp4-EY
btw — optics for next Obama commercial could not be more perfect.
"Hey, Paul Ryan! Row faster! The Missus and I feel like water skiing!"
"Fire! " – Phil Hartman as Frankenstein on SNL.
Do you think that they have temple-garment tan lines?
You know, *usually* when they say "he sleeps with the fishes", it means something different.
"After a long day of drowning peasants, Mitt likes to untie his wife and pose in front of beautiful sunsets (Did he mention several of his friends own suns?)."
Feels like almost-Mormon Heaven,
Where glo-white Sterile-Goes To Eleven
is that a noose in his hand?
Mitt: "Hey, chill out – I just watched while my cockswain raped Ann on that island back there, and you don't hear her whining for a freakin' abortion!"
"Us, after drunken night of skinny-dipping in the Sea of Galilee."
"Oh, for Pete's sake, Quintus Arrius, you call this ramming speed?"
Complain on his Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/quintus.arrius.1#!/quintu…
WE'RE RICH BITCH!!!!!!!!
"He he he…. Since I just dumped my last 20 years of tax records in the lake – I am pretty sure this boat ride is a deductible expense!!!"
J. Crude
"Ann is rehearsing for her role in Weekend at Bernie's Redux"
Full speed ahead! To international waters! I need to acquire some more foreign policy experience this evening!
"Stiffen up, Hon! If we look like we're not really enjoying it, the Poors won't resent us as much!"
When the mood strikes, send your employees' jobs to CHINA.
Caution: Sending jobs to CHINA for four or more decades can lead to permanent economic damage.
Day one as president I will burn America to the ground then sail away smiling.
"Let's see if you people can find those tax returns NOW."
Only the little people pay more than 13.9% of their income in taxes.
The smug is strong with these two.
We paid $347,000 for this boat–you know, really not very much at all.
"He he he….. Ann, since your horse lost, I guess you know who cleans up after her for the next 6 months"
"I sure wish Todd Akin and Hank Williams, Jr., were here with us to enjoy this! They're always the life of the parties!" Romney said to his wife as they cruised Lake Erie just before the sun went down. (Unassociated Press photo by Cam Cameron)
"he he he…. I never would have thought this rope was long enough to get around Rafalca's neck, much less strong enough to strangle her with…."
Two unidentified people, reportedly drunk on Colt 45 Malt Liquor and cheap tequila, rested after vomiting repeatedly for several hours on Hank Williams, Jr.'s inflatable water raft on the Mississippi River during a recent water barbeque and pig roast sponsored by the Iowa State Fair. (Agency French Press Agency photo by Ted Nugent, Jr.)
Stuttering,
Cold and damp,
Steal the warm wind
Tired friend.
Times are gone
For honest men
And sometimes,
Far too long
For snakes.
"I'm so glad we took the dancing horse waterskiing for your MS, honey"
The 6th Romney son? T-Pain.
Anderson Cooper and Liz Chaney relax, out of make-up, on a recent sunset cruise on the Potomac River outside of Washington, D.C., sponsored by the Openly Gay League of Excellence (OGLE), during a fundraiser sponsored by OGLE for Obama-Biden 2012. (Weekly World News photo by Lobster Man.)
One of Thomas Kincaid's last paintings, "Man and Woman on Boat at Sunset," failed to attract much interest at a recent Southeby's auction, finally selling for only $19.95. (Southeby's photo by Smigley Southeby III.)
Pantagonia's H2No Exosphere Jacket for women who are up for climbing Alaska's Denali or are really cold fish who are married to a putz who's career is in its sunset and you need to keep warm cause he's no help.
His: crossed at the knees. Hers: crossed at the ankle. Both: crossed pretty much all of the time, I'm guessing.
"Who really understands the way you live — Ann and I, or those Negroes in the White House?"
"I'm multi-millionaire Mitt Romney. And you're not."
"I keep this here rope handy in case I see any floundering millionaires. Poors? Not so much."
"I can see our money from here"
Champagne kisses and caviar dreams… The life we intend to make sure you never get to have!
Captain Stabben and his "crew" heading for a secluded mooring.
At least he doesn't have to ride "bitch" on the yacht.
"This trickle-down my leg sure lifted up my boat!"
"I told you I'd take the ropes off if you keep quiet."
Turn the goddamn boat around and ride off into the sunset already
Mittens has nicer legs than Annie
Looking for a place to dump the bitch when he loses. No big loss, since he has five more.
"Honey, do you hear a waterfall?"
"Sweetums, I feel like slumming. Let's go to the [heh heh] *millionaires'* beach!"
"Yo ho yo ho, a capitalist pirate's life for me…."
"Red shorts in the sunset…."
The knees are the right height!
Creating a bigger wake than any Kennedy!
"i named this boat 'tax return' so that i could truthfully say i have paid 13% of my income on my tax return."
We don't make waves, honey, we hire other people to make them for us.
"IF the boat were to turn over, and IF I had only one life jacket…"
Weekend at Mittens. There is no possible way that Ann is alive in this photograph (and you would think that Mittens would at least hide the rope…
"I told you this powerboat was fast enough to outrun Putin's nukes."
Anne Romney demonstrates Mitt Romney's warmth by wearing her parka in the summer.
"But Anne, I'm a man! "
"Nobody's perfect!"
Perspective, cell cameras are poorly designed for traditional imagery. This shot, because of the circular seat, and the narrow perspective give the impression of leggy and lean, not realistic for this pair of overfed foragers in Mohawk tribal lands.
Caption: What can Wonder Bread do for you?
What does Tupper wear?
Mitt, I still think naming our son after tupperware was not a funny joke.
"I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn't even know it yet. Weeks away and hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable plugged straight into Kurtz."
'
Too bad about the iceburg abpout to hit that boat full of poor people. Hopefully they will let enough job creators on the life boats.
Tonight, this man will be getting exactly no action.
BOATS AND HOES…BOATS AND HOES!
"Let's pull up the trolling line and see how Rafalca's doing down there…"
Sad sacks in the sunset.
This lake is simply to small for my yacht. I shall have to widen it or perhaps get a larger lake.
"On our dinghy, heading out to the yacht for some family time."
Waaaaay down upon the smarmy river.
“Erotic asphyxiation is for rich people too, my friends! My prerogatives just happen to involve a silk rope and stiff wife on my private lake.”
Canoe? What canoe? Fuck him.
The Romneys out for a leisurely tour of their backyard swimming pool.
Is Ann tied up or something?
"How's Seamus doin in the inner tube back there? He seems to like being strapped in it. Makes him feel secure."
I know I'm really late to this party, but I must say: That doesn't look like the back of any boat I've ever been in. Not even remotely.
Also, where's the flag? Isn't there supposed to be a flag back there? Ahem?
Look closely at Ann Romney. Did she forget her teeth?
Team Romney: If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
Life vests? No-oh-oh (nervous laugh)…safety nets just make people dependent!
"This makes me feel so James Bondy! Don't you feel kind of James Bondy?"
"NO, Willard."
They look like bored mormons.
Does the Governor know who killed the fishermen?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wiwlqNH1u0
Scoot down.
Take the helm, America.
You didn't build that.
Then I just tap here Dad and it uploads to Twitter and everyone sees you relaxed.
Straight outta Salt Lake.
Go ahead Ann, swallow, I always do.
Don't worry – Seamus is tied to the bow.
"Sure, you may have a bigger boat but mine runs on caviar."
"I like boats; the masts are the right height. I like the lakes. All of them, Katie. The big ones and the ….I like cars! Oh Jeeves, throw another poor in the boiler, why don't you."
"No, darling, nothing is trying to get in the boat. That's the sound of poor people. Keep smiling…"
Out of touch is when you don't get that pictures of you on a boat that is bigger than my house is not a good thing.
Tupper: Hey, just a pic of my daddy on a boat couch bigger an you people's actual couch.
Fucking dick nozzles, Cthulhu will not stand long for this.
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