they're on a boat!

Caption Contest! Mitt And Ann Romney Are On A Boat

They're on a boat! Tupper Romney tweets this photo of Mitt and Ann Romney on a boat. For some reason, His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney — who is objectively a handsome man — always looks super gross and greasy when he’s on vacation at “Lake Winni.” Here they look like nothing so much as a really sweaty and awful Viagra ad. But do you think they look like a sweaty and awful Viagra ad? Or do you think they look like something else?

Caption away!

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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  1. Barb_

    "Let's go visit our money" also known as, "Around the world in 80 days and banks.

    This is for MissTaken:
    ╔╗╔╦══╦═╦═╦╗╔╗ ★ ★ ★
    ║╚╝║══║═║═║╚╝║ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
    ║╔╗║╔╗║╔╣╔╩╗╔╝ ★ BIRTHDAY ★
    ╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝═╚╝ ♥¥☆★☆★☆¥♥ ★☆

    1. SorosBot

      I'll be sure to let her know – she's taking off and will be out most of today, and so won't be around much if at all.

    2. MissTaken

      Thanks sweetie! Like SB said, I'm not working today so I won't be making my old ass presence known much today. But thank you!!

      1. Steverino247

        Happy Birthday! I was up in SF on Saturday and resisted the temptation to stand at Fifth and Market awaiting a ball rub.

        (I was guiding a party of visually impaired veterans from the VA blind school in Menlo Park. Interesting day.)

    1. joobajooba

      I love the Internet. The add next to this comment says "There's a better way to heat your home."

  2. hagajim

    "You know, its sure nice when our rich asses can while away the day on the lake." – Mittens Rmoney.

    1. Veritas78

      If he's having that much fun, why doesn't he do it 365 days a year? Because he could, for the rest of his life, and he would still never run out of money.

      But no, he has to be President and fuck up our miserable existences, too.

  3. SorosBot

    Viagra ad? That boat could use two outdoor bathtubs for them to lie back and relax in, while holding hands.

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      the Romneys always mix in a bit of animal cruelty to get the uh, juices flowing. Such as pitbull fights, or slashing a monkey with razors or the traditional favorite: boiling a horse in a giant pot. That's how Ann sends a message to her other equine captives, er pets…

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      "Several of each, in fact. And, oh yeah, by the way? I pay taxes at a lower rate than you."

    1. Isyaignert

      Ha! My son's in the US Coast Guard reserves and they sing that song every time they get on their boat.

    1. Katydid

      What do the simple folk do

      To help them escape when they're blue?

      The shepard who is ailing, the milkmaid who is glum

      The cobbler who is wailing from nailing his thumb

      When they're beset and besieged

      The folk not noblessly obliged

      However do they manage to shed their weary lot?

      Oh, what do simple folk do…we do not?

  4. elgin_pelican

    "I made over $50 million last year working from home! Try my easy system to riches, available on DVD or VHS, and start YOUR path to success beyond your wildest dreams!"

  5. Jus_Wonderin

    "Ann, isn't it just thrilling when we visit our Offshore accounts?"

    "Whoa, calm down Mitt, you seem a bit too human."

      1. UnholyMoses

        It might no be a "yacht," but it's easily a $1 million+ boat. (Looks like the back of a Sea Ray, but not sure they'd slum it by riding in one of those. Whatever the fuck it is, it's goddamn big.)

  6. Mittens Howell, III

    Well Ann, it's been a long day and what with this beautiful sunset and all, I'm feeling a little 'legitimate', if you know what I mean.

    1. JustPixelz

      And sunglasses. At dusk. Facing away from the sun.

      What is that condition where you can't stand sunlight? Oh yeah … zombie.

    1. Isyaignert

      We need to let people know the bizarre things the Moron (oops typo) Church espouses – namely that it's okay to LIE if it helps the Church, your business or your family, in addition to all of th other crazy crap they believe.

  7. Mittens Howell, III

    "Mitt! What are you doing with that rope in your hand? Did you forget to tie the dog to the back of the boat again?"

  8. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Ann: Dear, why isn’t anyone driving the boat?
    Mittens: It’s OK, we’re rich.
    Ann: I suppose this might be some sort of analogy to how you would run the country.
    Mittens: What part of “we’re rich” didn’t you understand?

  9. SexySmurf

    "Thank goodness Mormons don't have genitalia, or else I wouldn't be able to cross my legs in such a feminine way."

  10. MacRaith

    "A rising tide lifts all boats. But my enormous boat creates a big-ass wake that will capsize any smaller boats that get too close, sucker. I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve this message."

  11. Katydid

    "Ann, why in the motherfuck did we name that boy Tagg? You just know Wonkett, to which everything is funny, is going to make fun of him and call him Tupper or somesuch. My spawn and I have too much monies to be made fun of."

  12. SixThirty

    His tax returns sunk in an iron box at the bottom of the lake where no one would EVER find them, Mitt smiled and put his arm around Ann as the servants rang the dinner bell. Tomorrow his handlers would chide him for allowing the spray to endanger his CPU, but for now, Life was Good.

  13. Terry

    You, too, can own a yacht and be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. Simply make four easy payments of $29.95 and receive our 2 cassette set on the secret to investing, a product valued at over $300.

  14. Goonemeritus

    To me they look like a remake of Miami Vice if the detectives were old and Colombia found a way to smuggle cocaine direct to Lake Winnipesaukee.

  15. WIDTAP

    It was only after Ann noticed the rope that she realized what Mitt meant when he referred to her as his "Chum"

  16. belmontreport

    I don't understand why you would want to be President when you could just be a retired super rich guy on vacation for the rest of your life.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      The Presidency is like an untapped Market. There is money to be made (under the table and then shipped offshore).

      1. Isyaignert

        All of the rich fukkers that are supporting Rmoney are making an investment. They fully expect to make a 1000% return on their investment if we should be so unfortunate to have him in the White House. These fukkers will never have enough, no matter how much they have. More, more, more, more more!!

    2. Self-Uploader

      You can never be too thin or too super rich. The man is OBSESSED with tax breaks. Ryan's pay less than 1% legally plan makes Mitt harder than a 19 year old boy at the Playboy mansion. It's the only thing that does.

  17. ph7

    Tupper seems to share his father's disconnected belief that America will be impressed by a leader who is far richer than you, and flaunts it.

    1. Geminisunmars

      To be fair, he was thinking that this was a nice pic of them enjoying a lovely twilight on their yacht just like other ordinary Americans do.

  18. tracyhasfun

    Just smile, Ann. As soon as the election is over, THEN you can give the peons the finger…don't make me use the rope.

  19. Blueb4sinrise

    Received 'nother email from Michelle O.

    "Before you go to bed tonight, do me a favor…."

    I keep telling her that it just can't be. Woman is hopelessly in love, I guess.

        1. Guppy

          The problem there is that you and she have very different definitions of the word "friend." She'll call/text/email you constantly, overshare her sex life with you (with pictures!), and if you two do end up having sex again it will be even crazier than before.

          Or so I've heard.

  20. UW8316154

    Boy she's a frozen, cold bitch, isn't she? Oh, and I dispute that Mitt is "objectively handsome" – he is "not unattractive". Bammers is totally handsome, and Ryan looks sketchy – like some douche-bag trying to pick up chicks at a club in Belltown.

  21. Toomush_Infer

    "Mitt, could you check the temperature on the lake ?- I think we need to turn the dial up a couple of degrees…."

  22. kittensdontlie

    Given the name Tagg, the Romneys thought he would never amount to much. With a 'accidental entanglement' with a rope on the lake at night, gone overboard would be their problem child in a 'tragic accident'—and would certainly garner a few sympathy votes.

    1. tessiee

      Too bad George Sr. and Bar didn't think of that 30 years ago; there might still be an America.

  23. scionkirk

    "Let's see, if we move this over here, and that over there, we can lay off thousands and avoid pension obligations! Man, I just love how fresh air gets those evil gears moving."

    1. Chichikovovich

      Remember when they used to call women "frigid,"

      I don't know what you mean. That never happened when I was around.


    2. Isyaignert

      I resemble that remark (the oldster one not the frigid one). I remember that term. It means that it's always the woman's fault when she can't get off after 10 seconds of foreplay and 60 seconds of banging. The concensus was that there must be something wrong with the woman when she "disappointed" the man by not having fireworks orgazms whilst with such a fantastic luvah (in his own mind).

  24. tessiee

    "Look at your President. Now back to me. Your President isn't me. Where are you? You're on a boat with the man who is not President. Look again. My hands are full of money and diamonds. Thanks, suckers."

    1. Isyaignert

      That reminds me of a line I heard once – "Do these pants make me look fat? No, it's the fat makes you look fat."

  25. MinAgain

    No stranger to kinky boat sex, Mittens prepares to tie Annie to the yardarm for flogging, but can't locate her hands.

  26. tessiee

    "Wow, there sure are a lot of fish in this lake! I'll bet if you threw a body in, it would never be found."
    "Why would you say that?"
    "Umm… No reason."

    [you can actually have either "person" say either part]

  27. ChrisM2011

    "After a long day of drowning peasants, Mitt likes to untie his wife and pose in front of beautiful sunsets (Did he mention several of his friends own suns?)."

  28. valeriebock

    Mitt: "Hey, chill out – I just watched while my cockswain raped Ann on that island back there, and you don't hear her whining for a freakin' abortion!"

  29. ihrtfancypants

    Full speed ahead! To international waters! I need to acquire some more foreign policy experience this evening!

  30. Steverino247

    When the mood strikes, send your employees' jobs to CHINA.

    Caution: Sending jobs to CHINA for four or more decades can lead to permanent economic damage.

  31. thefrontpage

    "I sure wish Todd Akin and Hank Williams, Jr., were here with us to enjoy this! They're always the life of the parties!" Romney said to his wife as they cruised Lake Erie just before the sun went down. (Unassociated Press photo by Cam Cameron)

  32. thefrontpage

    Two unidentified people, reportedly drunk on Colt 45 Malt Liquor and cheap tequila, rested after vomiting repeatedly for several hours on Hank Williams, Jr.'s inflatable water raft on the Mississippi River during a recent water barbeque and pig roast sponsored by the Iowa State Fair. (Agency French Press Agency photo by Ted Nugent, Jr.)

  33. schvitzatura

    Cold and damp,
    Steal the warm wind
    Tired friend.
    Times are gone
    For honest men
    And sometimes,
    Far too long
    For snakes.

  34. thefrontpage

    Anderson Cooper and Liz Chaney relax, out of make-up, on a recent sunset cruise on the Potomac River outside of Washington, D.C., sponsored by the Openly Gay League of Excellence (OGLE), during a fundraiser sponsored by OGLE for Obama-Biden 2012. (Weekly World News photo by Lobster Man.)

  35. thefrontpage

    One of Thomas Kincaid's last paintings, "Man and Woman on Boat at Sunset," failed to attract much interest at a recent Southeby's auction, finally selling for only $19.95. (Southeby's photo by Smigley Southeby III.)

  36. weejee

    Pantagonia's H2No Exosphere Jacket for women who are up for climbing Alaska's Denali or are really cold fish who are married to a putz who's career is in its sunset and you need to keep warm cause he's no help.

  37. ttommyunger

    His: crossed at the knees. Hers: crossed at the ankle. Both: crossed pretty much all of the time, I'm guessing.

  38. kingofmeh

    "i named this boat 'tax return' so that i could truthfully say i have paid 13% of my income on my tax return."

  39. BklynE

    Weekend at Mittens. There is no possible way that Ann is alive in this photograph (and you would think that Mittens would at least hide the rope…

  40. Robman2

    Perspective, cell cameras are poorly designed for traditional imagery. This shot, because of the circular seat, and the narrow perspective give the impression of leggy and lean, not realistic for this pair of overfed foragers in Mohawk tribal lands.

    Caption: What can Wonder Bread do for you?

  41. Schmegeg

    "I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn't even know it yet. Weeks away and hundreds of miles up a river that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable plugged straight into Kurtz."

  42. operationpurple

    Too bad about the iceburg abpout to hit that boat full of poor people. Hopefully they will let enough job creators on the life boats.

  43. Estproph

    This lake is simply to small for my yacht. I shall have to widen it or perhaps get a larger lake.

  44. Klek

    “Erotic asphyxiation is for rich people too, my friends! My prerogatives just happen to involve a silk rope and stiff wife on my private lake.”

  45. FajitaFriday

    "How's Seamus doin in the inner tube back there? He seems to like being strapped in it. Makes him feel secure."

  46. Veritas78

    I know I'm really late to this party, but I must say: That doesn't look like the back of any boat I've ever been in. Not even remotely.

    Also, where's the flag? Isn't there supposed to be a flag back there? Ahem?

  47. notreelyhelping

    "This makes me feel so James Bondy! Don't you feel kind of James Bondy?"
    "NO, Willard."

  48. Negropolis

    "I like boats; the masts are the right height. I like the lakes. All of them, Katie. The big ones and the ….I like cars! Oh Jeeves, throw another poor in the boiler, why don't you."

  49. Genio1

    "No, darling, nothing is trying to get in the boat. That's the sound of poor people. Keep smiling…"

  50. mayor_quimby

    Out of touch is when you don't get that pictures of you on a boat that is bigger than my house is not a good thing.
    Tupper: Hey, just a pic of my daddy on a boat couch bigger an you people's actual couch.
    Fucking dick nozzles, Cthulhu will not stand long for this.

Comments are closed.