hot gay action

Anti-Gay Group Leader Frothing Over ‘Hate Group’ Label Was Totally Gay-Married To David Duke

Tony PerkinsTony Perkins, the head of the extreme anti-gay hate group the Family Research Council, says the Southern Poverty Law Center has blood on its hands after a pro-gay crazy guy came to the FRC’s DC office and tried to shoot up all the Christianists. Why is this the SPLC’s fault? Because the SPLC has been tracking the FRC as a “hate group” for years, mostly because they keep saying gay people should die, and according to Tony Perkins, this gave “license” to said crazy dude to murder them. Many very serious thinkers in the mainstream media have agreed with Perkins (this time only) because how on earth could the SPLC lump in “mainstream conservatives” like the Family Research Council with such luminous dignitaries as former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard (and now “mainstream conservative” himself!) David Duke? Oh, well, quite easily, as it turns out, seeing as how Tony Perkins and David Duke are basically doing sex in each other’s bottoms every time their eyes meet.

Joe.My.God has the SPLC deets:

In 1996, while managing the U.S. Senate campaign of Woody Jenkins against Mary Landrieu, Perkins paid $82,500 to use the mailing list of former Klan chieftain David Duke. The campaign was fined $3,000 (reduced from $82,500) after Perkins and Jenkins filed false disclosure forms in a bid to hide their link to Duke. Five years later, on May 17, 2001, Perkins gave a speech to the Louisiana chapter of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), a white supremacist group that has described black people as a “retrograde species of humanity.” Perkins claimed not to know the group’s ideology at the time, but it had been widely publicized in Louisiana and the nation, because in 1999 — two years before Perkins’ speech to the CCC — Republican House Speaker Trent Lott had been embroiled in a national scandal over his ties to the group. GOP chairman Jim Nicholson then urged Republicans to avoid the CCC because of its “racist views.” The Duke incident surfaced again in local press in 2002, when Perkins ran for the Republican nomination for the Senate, dooming his campaign to a fourth-place finish in the primaries.

Remind us, Dana Milbank, about how terrible it is to lump the FRC in with the KKK?

I disagree with the Family Research Council’s views on gays and lesbians. But it’s absurd to put the group, as the law center does, in the same category as Aryan Nations, Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, Stormfront and the Westboro Baptist Church. The center says the FRC “often makes false claims about the LGBT community based on discredited research and junk science.” Exhibit A in its dossier is a quote by an FRC official from 1999 (!) saying that “gaining access to children has been a long-term goal of the homosexual movement.”

Offensive, certainly. But in the same category as the KKK?

To answer your question? Yes.

[Joe.My.God/WaPo]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  • Chichikovovich

    Y'know, Perkins would be able to keep his hooded white robes neatly arranged if he were to invest in some 3M Command Brand Hangers. Then, if he wanted to take them down, he could just stretch the strip, and remove them with no damage to the wall.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      He does, but only for his self martyrdom.

      • Typodong3

        So you are saying devout Christians can replace their nails with 3M Command Hangers?

        • bobbert

          And get the security deposit back on the rented cross. Win!

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Yeah, but they don't stick to the paneling on the double-wide

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Hey wait. we're gonna need them coat hangers after they outlaw abortion.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Say, you know who else used to salute with an outstretched hand?

      • FraAnima

        Spartacus?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "CCC." This is what hate groups think is clever.

    • foxypuppet

      Maybe just easy to remember? And they don't have to delve deep into the alphabet to get to 'C', now do they?

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        No, that's not my point.

      • IonaTrailer

        Douchey Dumbass Dirtbags more like it.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        And "AAA" was taken already.

    • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

      The CCC Took My Baby Aweeee

    • Chichikovovich

      Dang. I never even got that. Good eye.

      Remembering my youth, when Canada would often play hockey against teams with CCCP on the jersey, I always imagined everyone in the CCC was a lover of the Soviet Union. With no P-ness.

    • mavenmaven

      Silly bunt.

    • Baconzgood

      I believe that's the first time I've seen "hate group" and "clever" in the same sentence.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      "Cunt Cunt Cunt"?

      • bobbert

        But enough about Palin.

    • HarryButtle

      I almost didn't see what you were doing there…

    • Negropolis

      My grandfather was in the CCC, and I hadn't found this out until last year. Neither here nor there, but I've found out so much about my grandparents in just the last five years that I never knew.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    The KKK was once thought to be a mainstream part of US Amercia life, too.

    • sharethegrief

      It appears to be making a comeback.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Don't call it a comeback; we've been here for years.

        • Fare la Volpe

          So less a comeback, more a reacharound?

    • Exhausted66

      LOUISIANA TEXTBOOK LIBEL!

    • Tundra Grifter

      MC:

      I see where you are going with that, but I would disagree with you. I don't think the KKK was ever mainstream America. Read how Notre Dame fought the Klan. John F. Kennedy's "Profiles in Courage" has an excellent piece about a politician fighting the Klan – and risking his career to do it.

      Clearly there was some support for the Klan in many parts of our Nation, and strong support for it in some parts. It marched down the boulevards of Washington, DC. It was part of American life.

      But, despite "Birth of a Nation" and all the other propaganda, I still think it is an error to state the KKK was Main Street. Or mainstream.

      • bobbert

        Obvs, you are not up on history a la Bob Jones U.

        • Typodong3

          So mainstreaming the KKK was taught in the same syllabus as cavemen riding dinosaurs, right?

          • SorosBot

            And that the Loch Ness monster is real and disproves evolution.

          • MissTaken

            I heard Kirk Cameron watched the Loch Ness monster eat a banana and that is why evolution didn't happen.

          • bobbert

            Well, Kirk Cameron is evidence against evolution.

          • SorosBot

            Just imagine how jealous it must make Cameron every time he looks at the entertainment news and sees how much more successful that Leo kid they brought on for Growing Pains' final season is than him.

          • Butch_Wagstaff

            The major lesson is don't piss off the gays in the entertainment industry….

          • tessiee

            I'll bet Kirk Cameron likes to "eat a banana", if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

          • horsedreamer_1

            Meryl Streep Libel!!!

          • Willardbot9000_V2.5

            Hah…and I thought Kirk Cameron was so Christian that watching a male dinosaur eat a banana would be too gay and cause him to sob violently. My favorite from the "man rides dinosaur" culture is in that movie "Jesus Camp" when this crazy idiot who looked like an evangelical converted hippy (yes I know that's highly counterintuitive!) sang a raucus chorus of "Behemoth was a Dinosaur!" to a bunch of totally non-impressionable children (they only become impressionable as adults while in college, Q.E.D.!)….first in the ways of god, indeed….

          • IonaTrailer
          • bobbert

            Oy. Could they at least use a website template that doesn't induce epilepsy?

          • IonaTrailer

            You mean this is fake??? http://surbrook.devermore.net/superpics/beasts/se

            (fucking morons)

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

            "Civil War Dinosaurs?", it asks, as if we, The Reader, should be the judge, cuz, ya know, there's a picture right there of civil war dudes standing by dinosaurs, so; FACTS. ?.

          • IonaTrailer

            Must be true, it's on the Internet!

        • Butch_Wagstaff

          Yes, yes, and more yes to this reply. It's like when my partner insisted that there had NEVER been any KKK chapters in the "North" (northwest Ohio, to be specific).
          At it's height of power, the KKK controlled entire towns and even cities. It WAS the "mainstream" at the time. And it wasn't just in the southern states of the U.S.

          • Fare la Volpe

            Its headquarters was in Indiana too. It was in every state and sometimes literally would not allow elections to proceed unless every candidate was a member.

          • miss_grundy

            The KKK used to have a spring recruiting march in Altoona, PA. So, yes, the KKK can be found north of the Mason-Dixon line and it, probably, still has many followers in PA.

          • Willardbot9000_V2.5

            Yes…but that's the same as the people who insist slavery didn't exist in the North by the time of the Civil War. People love to pretend extreme racism and douchebags like the KKK were an entirely Southern phenomena but like you said, they were pretty much if an underground group a mainstream one nonetheless. The KKK used to also provide "goon squads" against striking workers…they were very much involved in supressing the black vote…they were a mainstream right wing organization in the South, Midwest, Southwest (East Texas, particularly Waco and all over Arizona), they were fringe in the West and yes, even the Northeast had its Klansmen. It's only been since the passage of the Civil Rights Act that the KKK lost all credibility outside of areas of the South and have been replaced by Neo-Nazi skinhead movements…the dread SPLC has done yeoman's work identifying these movements.

      • sullivanst

        "John F. Kennedy's "Profiles in Courage" has an excellent piece about a politician fighting the Klan – and risking his career to do it. "

        Doesn't that second part imply it was mainstream?

        • Tundra Grifter

          Only if the individual were running for national office – and that was the only issue.

          • sullivanst

            I fail to see the necessity of either condition, unless we're using starkly different definitions of "mainstream".

      • BerkeleyBear

        Eh, they pretty much ran Indiana for most of the 20s, including the governor. That's a heck of a lot more mainstream than the Green Party has managed to pull off.

        Then again, this was back when being a member of the American Socialist movement wasn't in the same category as finding a live dodo bird on the weird scale.

      • Negropolis

        You are wrong. The KKK had mainstreamed itself into countless local governments, some state governments, and even had high-ranking members at the federal level. While it's not like they were the most popular group to be associated with, if that ain't mainstreaming, I don't know what is. Hell, some of the strongest instutitionalization of the Klan was here up North.

        If the Klan was criticized for anything, at the time, it was for being a secretive society kind of like the wariness many had of the Masons. It's not that the nation didn't agree with them, and more to do with the fact that they feared infiltration by secret societies.

  • metamarcisf

    A boy's best friend is his mother.

    • Flat_Earther

      Oedipus, is that you?

      • bobbert

        I don't see what you did there.

        • Grief_Lessons

          Jocasta reference.

          • bobbert

            "don't see" reference.

          • foxypuppet

            I need a white cane for this thread…

    • bobbert

      Also, too, as Harlan Ellison so well expressed it, a boy's best friend is his dog.

      • FraAnima

        Thinking about that story always makes me hungry.

  • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

    I think that headline may be a little inaccurate.

    • foxypuppet

      Maybe he wasn't frothing, but just foaming at the mouth a little?

      • ibwilliamsi

        Santoruming.

        • Willardbot9000_V2.5

          is there really a verb for Santorum? I mean…it's bad enough that Santorum is a noun, but as an action word? Ugh…

    • jaytingle

      Fair enough. The header should read "Tony Perkins and David Duke Totally Having a Man Meat Sword Fight in Dana Milbank's Mouth."

  • Mittens Howell, III

    $KKK

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      $aKKKagawea dollars, amirite?

    • bobbert

      That's close to Mittens's probable net worth.

  • FraAnima

    Mother! Mother! Blood!

    Wait, not that Tony Perkins?

    • YouBetcha

      That particular Tony Perkins was more handsome, and more gay.

      • vtxmcrider

        hey are both equally gay. FRC Tony Perkins just hides it less.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Sure, the FRC is a hate group, but you miss the main point: The Lesbians and teh Ghayez force them into it with their hot, sexy love.

    • T3rbo

      Plus, they are only trying to protect us from earthquakes and another Katrina. Gay marriage causes a lot of terrible terrible earthquakes etc.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Yes! their hot, sexy, hate love.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yeah I love when every so often some corporate douchey outfit like WaPo will come to the aid of a nutbag group like this. I also love the less than straight-line connection between the SPLC and the shooter (liberal civil rights attorney group adds nutbag WASPY anti-gay group to hate list, years later crazy gay guy shoots guard) as if they don't give less than sane gay people many reasons to attack them without the SPLC designation being the least bit a part of the equation. Dana Milbank is, as per usual a complete douchebag probably sticking up for 2×4 up the ass (only when feeling salty) friend of his Tony Perkins (really this makes no other sense).

  • Callyson

    The campaign was fined $3,000 (reduced from $82,500) after Perkins and Jenkins filed false disclosure forms in a bid to hide their link to Duke

    JFC, it would have been better not to dole out any punishment at all than this. This isn't even a slap on the wrist, it's a stroke of the palm…

    • Serolf_Divad

      I think the phrase you're looking for here is "hand job."

  • Come here a minute

    How could good old Tony Perkins be a leader of a hate group when he wears a flag pin on his lapel?

    • IonaTrailer

      Didn't he stab someone in a hotel room?

      Oh. wait…..

    • Chichikovovich

      And sometimes it's not even a Confederate flag pin.

    • MinAgain

      Because he hates lapels.

    • Negropolis

      You know, when I see someone with a flag pin, and they identify as such, I get a little nervous…

  • Boojum

    If they are doing sex in each other's bottoms when their eyes meet, does mean their heads are in those same bottoms?

    • FraAnima

      This is one position not included in the Kama Sutra.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Fuck the gay bashing FRC. Fuck Dana Milbank too. If you don't want to be labeled a hate group, stop being a hate group and Dana, if your goal is some of that sweet, sweet wingnut welfare all your friends are getting, the answer isn't a big wet kiss to the FRC. It's simple, suck a Koch.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      In the past Dana Milbank has been considered a librul (he was a go-to on Olbermann for a while) but he has a penchant for repeating and defending the craziest wingnut bullshit on occassion. One example is when he wrote a column calling Obama a sociopathic narcissist (Republicans have the market cornered on those) with a messianic complex which ended his Olbermann association due to the concentrated wingnuttiness of the article. Seems like he's back to his old tricks here, letting his wingnut fly (metaphorically). I just can't imagine why ANYONE would stick up for these guys or AFA who aren't complete right wing douchebags.

      • Callyson

        Yes, and another example is his mommy issues, which came out in the open with his bit about Hillary Clinton and Bitch Beer.

        Bitch, please…and yeah, I *am* talkin' to you, Dana Milbank…

        • horsedreamer_1

          Plus, man named Dana. Only in America.

          Seriously. My Romanian students would loller at him & ask if he's a girl.

  • sharethegrief

    Shorter version-Perkins managed Woody.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Hanging out with KKK Wizard David Duke?

    That's just psycho.

    • IonaTrailer

      Whispers: "Yeah, and he's not a real Wizard…."

      • Fare la Volpe

        Lonely Merlin has a sad…

    • ph7

      Maybe he's just showing up for the chicks?

  • MinAgain

    Oh, look! You posted a pic of Tony with the Unity Candle from the wedding.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    ….doing sex in each other’s bottoms every time their eyes meet.

    Needz a diagram at least…..

    • Fare la Volpe

      NO.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That ladee legislator from New Hampshire would be happy to explain about "wiggling around in excrement."

  • Callyson

    "FRC does not support the Uganda bill, and does not support the death penalty for homosexuality – nor any other penalty which would have the effect of inhibiting compassionate pastoral, psychological, and medical care and treatment for those who experience same-sex attractions or who engage in homosexual conduct," the group adds.

    Hey, Uganda–don't kill the gheyz–then we can't use them to get our deluded fundie followers to give us even more money!

    For God's sake…

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      "If euthenasia is 'compassionate' for our kittens and puppies, why not for those irreparably mired in a Godless lifestyle?"

    • Serolf_Divad

      A more accurate statement:

      "FRC does not (publicly) support the Uganda bill because it's become a political liability…"

  • SorosBot

    So that's one (luckily failed) attack on the FRC versus exactly how many murders, assaults and other hate crimes against gay people just for being gay? And that's before you look at the (sadly extremely high) rate of hate crimes against transsexuals, abortion clinic bombings and other terrorist attacks by the FRC's fellow travelers.

    • Chichikovovich

      I see a compromise here that could significantly reduce attacks on the FRC and the other violence you list. Both sides give up something, so the Village will love it. Listen to this:

      The SPLC will stop listing the FRC as a hate group, and in return, the FRC will stop being a hate group!

      Whaddya think? It's win-win!

      • bobbert

        Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha <snort>.

      • sullivanst

        Your ideas are interesting to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

  • ph7

    Perkins paid $82,500 to use the mailing list of former Klan chieftain David Duke.

    I didn't realize there was big money in racists' addresses. Anyone want to buy email strings forwarded from my cousin in Tennessee? I charge double for the aol.com addresses contained therein.

  • LastGasp

    Just because they have "Family" in the name of their group doesn't mean they're friendly and lovable.

    • IonaTrailer

      Yeah! Look at the Manson Family.

      (Apologies to Marlyn)

      • Harrison Wintergreen

        "(Apologies to Marilyn) "

        And Shirley, too, also.

      • bobbert

        Hell, look at anybody's family.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Da Gotti Family and da Soprano Family would both like to have a word wit' youse, Gaspy.

    • Negropolis

      You don't have to tell me. I get nervous when I see an organization with "family" in its' name. We all know that family has been co-opted and turned into code.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    "Perkins claimed not to know the group’s ideology at the time"

    I know, first Ayn Rand's ghost tricked misguided farm boy Paul Ryan into her Jesus hating philosophy, and now we learn poor Tony was taken in by those meany sheet people.

    Why do bad things happen to Good Christian People? Because they're TOO TOLERANT, that's why.

    Also, Obama.

    • Serolf_Divad

      These poor souls are well meaning, but oh so naive… like Prince Myshkin in Dostoevsky's The Idiot. Because their hearts are so full of goodness to all mankind, they are easily fooled into seemingly embracing white supremacist groups and the odious, hateful writings of psychopathic literary hacks, who exploit their good natured tendency to just try and get along with everybody. If Perkins had even the slightest inkling that the CCC were the raving band of racist lunatics that the ubiquitous press stories of the day showed them to be, do you think he would have spoken before them? And if Paul Ryan could actually understand the words of Ayn Rand that his mommy read to him at bedtime, do you think he would have embrace her philosophy so fully and whole heartedly?

  • Baconzgood

    As I tell my kids its wrong to hate anyone but the Belgins.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Terrorist waffles.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Miserable fat Belgian bastards.

    • Flat_Earther

      Not quite French; not quite German. Too bad they couldn't be Swedes, blond lesbian Swedes…

    • DahBoner

      Weird thing is, I once met a fair-skinned Belgin man whose skin never burned in the sun, so he never used sunscreen.

      Do they have some weird genetic thing going on there?

      • bobbert

        Not much sun?

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Fawk those belgins!

    • WhatTheHeck

      Please don’t be hatin on the best ale makers in the world.
      I know they speak funny languages an all and are responsible for Brussel sprouts. Still… Belgian ales…

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Not to mention, didn't they invent freedom fries?

      • Baconzgood

        I actually lived in Antwerp for 6 months. I make fun of Belgium because they have such a good humor about it. You really can't hate on Belgium. Except for the fact everyone is soooooo god damn nice there. It really is impossible to hate them. Especially the northern Flemish.

    • Negropolis

      Yeah, what's with their "seperate but equal" institutions and years without a government, anyway? Hengh?

  • Beowoof

    Fuck you hater.

  • RadioBowels

    Hey Dana, what's wrong with the KKK?

    “[The Ku Klux] Klan in some areas of the country tried to be a means of reform, fighting the decline in morality and using the symbol of the cross. Klan targets were bootleggers, wife-beaters, and immoral movies. In some communities it achieved a certain respectability as it worked with politicians.” — United States History for Christian Schools, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2001

    • comrad_darkness

      You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

      • Rotundo_

        It's a Bob Jones University Press version of US history for Christian Schools: They just left out the asterisk after the period on the sentence which refers to a very very very small statement at the bottom of the page reading "*Of course, only those of the Colored, Jew or Catholic persuasions, Italians and Mexicans not already covered in the prior descriptions."

      • RadioBowels

        Did you see Doktor Zoom's post yesterday?

    • IonaTrailer

      Yeah, Bob Jones University – a bastion of higher learning.

  • Terry

    I have a little Woody Jenkins story from that election where he ran against Mary Landrieu. An acquaintance in south Louisiana tricked me into going to an Amway recruiting meeting, saying it was a meeting of a club whose members got together to talk about current events and business. Yeah, right. Anyway, Woody Jenkins was a speaker at the meeting, talking about how he'd bring old fashioned values back to Louisiana (Yeah, Louisiana is about the last place in the US that should do anymore back sliding.). He went on to say that he was going to beat Landrieu in a landslide because he planned to mobilize all the Amway dealers in the State and they'd all march on Baton Rouge and demand his election. I was pretty sure elections didn't happen that way, even in the Pelican State. One thing led to another, the Amway dealers failed to mobilize and march, and Woody lost. I have to say, though, that Woody and the guy insisting that Amway isn't a pyramid scheme were the only two interesting things that evening. Oh, and the people who tried to block me from leaving and who followed me to my car and tossed Amway instructional cassettes into my car window as I drove away.

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      Yes, but what season are you?

    • Baconzgood

      any time some one sais its not a pyrmid scheme….it is.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I've known a few people who've tried to get me involved in this shit. None of them would even use the word "Amway," and would in fact vehemently deny that their multilevel orgs were in any way related to Amway. They would in fact lie, repeatedly to my face.

        Yeah, sure, I'd love to join your group.

        • comrad_darkness

          This is a huge benefit of not having any friends. I have no idea what y'all are talking about.

        • Terry

          That's what I told my acquaintance when I told her we were no longer friends. If you have to lie to recruit someone into something, you need to reexamine what you've gotten yourself into.

          • viennawoods13

            I dropped my hairdresser when she got into ACN. She became a serious pain in the ass.

    • Flat_Earther

      Louisiana has a statue of Huey Long representing the state in the U.S. Capital. That should say all you need to know about local politics.

      • IonaTrailer

        Springfield will erect a monument to Rod Blagojevich.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Not likely.

          • bobbert

            Maybe just to his hair?

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            We elected him because the last, Republican guy was thoroughly corrupt; because Blago was ambitious and had the right family connections for politics, he coasted in. By the time it sunk in with the public that he was a paranoid jerk, a fool, and an obstructionist failure, Fitzgerald was on the scent.

          • IonaTrailer

            Oh the chutzpah

          • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

            Regardless of everything else besmirching George Ryan's career, I have never been prouder of a Republican politician as when he signed Illinois' death penalty moratorium. It may have been the first as well, now that I think of it.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        This Long guy's life story should be a movie! (Movies About Him are right behind me, aren't they…?) But very interesting story: http://goo.gl/rU4s2

        Edit: I see there was a recent movie adaptation of a fictionalized character based on Long: http://goo.gl/VoTX3

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I was once hospitalized in Georgetown University Medical Center in DC (yes, the one with the statue of Vince Lombardi). I had to share my room, for five days, with a MORMON AMWAY SALESWOMAN. I have yet to recover.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Nearly got sucked in once. A former coworker tried to get me involved with them.

      Multilevel marketing, my ass. If looks like a Pyramid, feels like a pyramid then it is a fucking pyramid.

      • Serolf_Divad

        Does everybody have a "the time I got tricked into attending an AMWAY meeting" story?

        Mine involved a guy who explained that he and some of his friends were setting up an online shopping center and I was invited to attend their meeting and discuss it.

        I'm actually kinda glad I fell for it, because it was fascinating watching the salesman make his pitch before the gathered audience. What he was saying was so insanely stupid, it took all the self control I could muster not to scream out: "You're a fucking idiot and anyone who believes any of the shit you're peddling is setting himself up to lose a LOT of money."

        His pitch was basically this: "The Internet is going to generate billions of dollars in revenues in the next 10 years, and we are going to own it!" (This was around 1994, BTW, when most people were just starting to get online. )

        I left during the break because I just couldn't stand to be in the same room with those guys.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      I think I skipped over this earlier because it started with "I have a little woody," but upon reading it I've had a similar experience. An ex-colleague asked me to have coffee with him out of the blue and asked me if I was interested in a "business proposition." I figured it might be with a startup in our mutual field, but he starts out with the "how would you like to be in business for yourself," and I was like "Oh — this is Amway."

      "No it's not — it's a personal marketing opportunity" or something like that. It was Amway.

  • http://gorejusgeorge.tumblr.com CheeseBro69

    Ugh…cant this guy just have his rentboy.com moment already?

  • coolhandnuke

    Applying Tony Perkins' cause and effect logic to Obama's assault on religious freedoms and the FRC shooting, holds the same merit as blaming Hitchcock's "Psycho" for bed bugs at a Motel 6.

    • IonaTrailer

      Most of them are more like Motel 666

  • IonaTrailer

    March to the capitol? Like with pitchforks and torches?

    • Beowoof

      More of a Madame Defarge type march with a planned session for her to get caught up on her knitting.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    I never liked Milback after he left the Newlywed Show (think about it)

    • Angry_Marmot

      In the butt, Bob.

  • mavenmaven

    They both agree that everything is the Jews' fault.

    • arihaya

      therefore all Jews should be "encouraged" to go to Israel, so that Jesus could incinerate them when he has his Second Coming

    • finallyhappy

      Especially that of our leader- Baruch Chusan Obamawitz. We got you all fooled- you people yelling He's Christian/ He's Muslim. The first president to hold a seder in the White House- what more does the man have to do to prove it!!

      • bobbert

        Well, I suppose he could tweet his circumsized dick, but that would probably provoke a pussy riot.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    More awesome work from Joe.My.God. I would like to gay marry him one day. Don't tell my wife. Or actually do tell my wife. That would be kind of hot.

    • Fare la Volpe

      I fully support this union.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Tony Perkins was great in Crimes Of Passion.

    • RadioBowels

      Psycho I, II, and III are three classics.

  • Baconzgood

    Typical libtards. Being intolerent of intolerence. Such hippy-crats.

  • T3rbo

    Holy cow! Cracker bigots are bigots!

    • Baconzgood

      Mouth breathing douches gotta mouth breath douche baggery. Its the natural order of things.

  • Fairtackle

    that Dana guy is about as sharp as a bag of grapes.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      His hair-do is another thing that's not sharp.

    • Serolf_Divad

      …without the bag and without the grapes.

  • arihaya

    I like Perkins better in that Blackadder's firing squad skit

    • James Michael Curley

      Huh? That was Tony Robinson. Baldrick. "I have a cunning plan."

  • Schmannnity

    Does this mean that Perkins is going to take credit for the Sikh temple shooting?

    • Serolf_Divad

      No, like all mass shootings that was committed by an atheist out to attack Christianity (or a gun control advocate out to make guns look bad… or both).

  • IonaTrailer

    Where the fuck is D.W. Griffith when you need him?

    • bobbert

      Still dead, like Breitbart.

      (I always like to say something nice).

  • IonaTrailer

    Who knew the NYC police were so heavy into FRC? http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/21/nyregion/64-of-

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    The FRC took my baby away.

  • marconidarwin

    Wait just a cotton picking minute, Wonkette!

    James Meredith endorsed David Duke in the gubernatorial race in Lousyana in 1991.

    So without a Beck blackboard, Perkins tied to Duke tied to Meredith. One big fat gay wedding that is turning out to be!

    In other words do we really need to answer Dana Milquetoast's attempt at centrism?

  • Baconzgood

    I'm guessing it would really suck talking to this butt plug at a cocktail party. 3 to 1 he sais Jesus 8 times in a 2 min. conversation about weather.

    • T3rbo

      Nah, lots of fun. "I really want to believe, but I just don't trust the bible. Can you prove any of this without using the bible for me?" then make a concerned face

      • Baconzgood

        My ex mother in law "found religion" (I told her it was under the couch the whole time) and once said that it was the "first book ever written". She honestly believed this until I pointed out that the greeks wrote a long time before Christ was born. She then said she was talking about the old testament. I pointed out that if that was true how could pharo write his laws. She then said "no genisis" to which I pointed out that the Epic of Gilgamesh is the oldest surviving text and preceeds the Jewish culture by about 2000 years. And that the Epic of G.has the great flood story that the bible lifted. Then I said "BLAUW! You like them apples, 'cause they ain't plums! Don't fuck with a catholic who's dad came within a gnat's eye of being a priest. You read the King James crap. I've been force fed the New American before I could chew. No one thinks the bible is a litteral truth but you born agains. We stopped beliving that dumb shit in the 14 century. Suck on that and tell your preacher my dad and I can take him to school".

        Made a pretty akward Thanksgiving dinner.

        • T3rbo

          Well, I choose to believe the oldest book known, The instructions of Shuruppag, which advises

          You should not pass judgment when you drink beer.

          and

          The need for food makes some people ascend the mountains; it also brings traitors and foreigners, since the need for food brings down other people from the mountains

          because jeebus!

        • bobbert

          Was that all before you said "Hey Mom, pass the cranberries, willya?"

        • bobbert

          Oddly enough, I was reading (a translation of) the E of G before falling asleep Friday night. First time I'd looked at it in twenty years. It reminded me that Enki, or whoever, should definitely have sued Noah for plagiarism.

        • bobbert

          I wonder why I did two separate replies to your comment. Whoops, three.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Alright, you wore me down, I'm followin' ya!

    • Callyson

      Au contraire…make it a drinking game. Every time that fucker says "Jesus," have a shot. You'll either be having lots of fun, or will have passed out, within minutes…

      • Baconzgood

        Or punching.

        • Fare la Volpe

          Or dead. Liver poisoning's a bitch.

          • bobbert

            Yeah, it takes 30-45 minutes to feel it. You could easily down a handle at one-shot-per-Jesus.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Anti-gay hate group? Sure. But to be fair, they're also somewhat anti-women's equality, too.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Apparently they just hate anybody who won't fuck them.

    • bobbert

      An odd form of diversity.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    The Coo Cluck Clan is not a hate group — we merely want to preserve the purity of our poultry stock from contamination by Guineafowl!

    • T3rbo

      cocks….

    • Negropolis

      Is the Coo Clucks Clan any relaton to Chick-fil-A?

  • glamourdammerung

    The best part: Perkins illegally gave David Duke money (the campaign he was running settled the charges with the FEC).

    • bobbert

      In his bottom.

  • poorgradstudent

    This is yet another sign of American decadence; we don't even make our bigots like we used to! The KKK and the George Wallaces would just come out with their belief that people not like them were inferior in every possible way and threaten to run over anyone who protested them. They definitely wouldn't have cried at just being called "bigot."

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      There were giants in those days.

      • bobbert

        Nephilassholem.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Yesteryear's bigots were doing all the victimizing,
      Today's bigots think they are the victims.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Not to mention the poetry of Spiro Agnew (which I now know to be the poetry of Pat Buchanan, Rachel Maddow's late uncle).

      • bobbert

        Nattering nabobs of Nephilassholem.

  • ElPinche

    Joe "Not" the Plumber, the illegitimate shit baby of David Duke and Tony Perkins ??

    • bobbert

      Nah, Sam the non-plumber is sui generis (composed of pig testicles).

    • foxypuppet

      More like Bradlee Dean

      • bobbert

        That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

        • foxypuppet

          Yes, it is very disturbing… Almost everything on the Wonkette is.

  • Goonemeritus

    Well if seeking out the same constituency as a hate group and openly advocating the hatred of a group of people makes you a hate group sure but by that crazy logic couldn’t you classify the GOP as a hate group? I’m sorry to resort to Reductio ad absurdum but you can see how crazy this is.

    • bobbert

      I'm having some trouble finding the absurd part. Is this some kind of dada koan?

      • Fare la Volpe

        "What is the sound of ice on fire?"

        • bobbert

          Suddenly, I have the hook from "Under Pressure" running through my head.

    • foxypuppet

      Republicans ad absurdum is about right…

    • subsum

      I don't think it's crazy at all. Just look at all the shit they have been spewing about Obama all these years. It's a concerted, well-calculated effort. Only hate groups can be that organized.

  • sudsmckenzie

    FRC, the Highway Rest-stop for the KKK.

  • SorosBot

    You know, I am finding it very hard to snark today; so many of today's stories are dealing with horrible hateful bigots and are just rage-inducing, which make it hard for me to bring on the funny.

    • IonaTrailer

      However, you must admit the level of sheer stoopidity is jaw-dropping!

    • glasspusher

      Come over to The Snark Side, 'bot!

  • DahBoner

    Exhibit A

    Great Punk band name!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Exhibit A in its dossier is a quote by an FRC official from 1999 (!) saying that “gaining access to children has been a long-term goal of the homosexual movement.”

    Offensive, certainly. But in the same category as the KKK?

    Seriously — if making specious claims about a group of people that would incite hatred and violence against them is considered hate, then Glenn Beck and Sean Assity and those other folks who say liberals hate America and want to destroy it would have to be considered purveyors of hate speech — and how fair would that be? Oh, wait — that would be perfectly fine, actually.

  • RadioBowels

    SPLC is the ACORN of 2012.

    • horsedreamer_1

      To which they say to the GOP's transcriptionists at FOX & CNN, "Dees Nutz!"

  • Tundra Grifter

    "… as it turns out, seeing as how Tony Perkins and David Duke are basically doing sex in each other’s bottoms every time their eyes meet."

    Some guys just have all the luck!

  • redarmyzombie

    Say, does anyone know if those white sheets come in skin-tight Latex?

    Just, y'know, Inquiring Minds and all that.

  • MonkeyMotion

    Exhibit A in its dossier is a quote by an FRC official from 1999 (!) saying that “gaining access to children has been a long-term goal of the homosexual movement.”

    How quaint. That "goal" was reached years ago by the Catholic priesthood. Praise Jeebus!

  • owhatever

    You libtards better leave the FRC alone, or I will burn a cross on your lawn, with you attached.

  • tessiee

    Watch, now they'll be up all our asses for a discussion of gun control.

    • bobbert

      No. No, I think we can be pretty sure that's not gonna happen. Except maybe gun control for libtards.

      BTW, what turned out to be the deal with the FRC shooter?

      • foxypuppet

        Too much Chick-Fil-A… http://goo.gl/CLLnL

        • bobbert

          One is too many, fifteen isn't enough.

          • foxypuppet

            I blame the new math with all that newfangled set theory nonsense… And Obama, of course.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    You put your KKK there
    and your SPLC out
    and your CCC in
    and you shake it all about
    you do the hateful painful
    and you don't turn your self around
    that's what republicanism is all about!

  • sullivanst

    Actually, Dana, you stabby-feeling-making sack of santorum, the SPLC has examples of hate-filled quotes from the FRC on file up to 2010 at current. So in addition to being a horrible human being, you're also a terrible journalist. Fuck you very much.

  • Katydid

    Those who support gay rights will gain nothing by sticking inflammatory labels on their opponents, many of whom are driven by deeply held religious beliefs.

    Guess it's OK to hate, then, if you hold a belief deeply enough. Fuck you, Dana Millbank, and, btw, you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

    • sullivanst

      The KKK deeply held their belief that the blacks were inferior to them. They even quoted scripture in support of their position. I'll say it again: Fuck you very much Dana.

    • Chichikovovich

      Where did people ever get the idea that a person with hateful views becomes any less hateful if they just follow any statement of those views with "Oh, and I believe this because God told me to."

      • bobbert

        Lots of people believe in God, (specifically the God they believe in, Who shares all their opinions). So it's kind of like professional courtesy.

  • glasspusher

    To be fair, AAA and BBB were already taken, by fine institutions.

    • bobbert

      And Queue Qlux Qlan would have looked too Arabic.

  • subsum

    I seeTony Perkins as Pulp Fiction's The Gimp but with the KKK hood and whatnot and David Duke playing Zed. I don't know. It seems like a nice, comforting image.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    As usual, the Bard of Hibbing foresaw this long ago:

    "Well, I was sleepin' like a rat when I heard something jerkin'
    There stood Rita lookin' just like Tony Perkins."

  • Negropolis

    Te FRC's immediate response shows that this was a coordinate attack against the Southern Poverty Law Center. They picked an if not rather obscure, at least a rather mundane organization literally hours after the shooting. They'd already printed up the press release years before hand as far as I'm concerned.

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      I hope they teach every man woman and child in Merika what the SPLC is.

  • UW8316154

    This is off-topic and I'm sorry about that, but I just need to say it:

    Akins is a cocksucker.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      But a legitimate cocksucker.

    • Negropolis

      Hell, a cocksucker if he's lucky. I have a feeling that the only genitals he's seen in many years have been his own.

  • Negropolis

    BTW, I love how the mainstream media (and society, in general) tries to parse hate. As long as a group isn't using slurs in its press releases, it means that it's equally legitimate as any other group. That's a lie; in fact, it's a damned lie.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      And how is it inciting hate to record what a group does and then publish it? If the FRC has a problem with the Southern Poverty Law Center's publication of its activities — if it's biased, if it's packed with lies, if it's cherry-picking or misrepresenting their stances in any way — then they should've said so. That their declarations have been so completely devoid of any refutation of the SPLC's reporting is plenty telling.

  • Fukui-sanYesOta

    OT a couple of things

    First up, a partially heartwarming bit of research out of Duke: Given the choice between wealth distribution as it is, and what it could be, 90% of Republicans and 93% of Democrats would choose a distribution like that of Sweden.

    Interestingly,

    The reality is that the bottom two buckets together, the bottom 40% of Americans, own 0.3% of the wealth; 0.3%, almost nothing, whereas the top 20% own about 84% of the wealth.

    And people don't understand it. They don't understand how much wealth the top have and in particular, they don't understand how little the bottom has.

    Secondly, I was doing a bit of gambling in South Lake Tahoe at the weekend and met a very nice young lady of Filipino descent who was there with her (Caucasian) same-sex partner. We spoke for a bit, and she nipped off to play roulette. A little later, she returned and said hello and burst into uncontrollable tears. Her problem? Her partner's sister had left two days early from a birthday celebration because of this poor girl. Couldn't handle the same-sex thing. "She's ultra-Republican" sobs the poor girl to people she's only met that night.

    Sickening. Fuck Republicans. Or, rather, don't because then they might breed.

  • http://tactilepeggy.wordpress.com/ Pap Finn

    "GOP chairman Jim Nicholson then urged Republicans to avoid the CCC because of its 'racist views.' "

    Ha, ha! Nicholson was only urging Republicans to avoid embracing the "racist views" of the CCC *publicly* because it might embarrass the party if civilized people noticed. He didn't mean that they couldn't discreetly swap casseroles and hate on the dusky folk with CCC droolers at the megachurch on Sundays, where librul eyes wouldn't be a-pryin'.

  • http://slackoftownnola.wordpress.com Comrade Wingtardd

    What would happen to the GOP if there were no more repressed gays?

  • ttommyunger

    Will there always be a closeted ghey Tony Perkins with us? Yes, yes there will.

  • belmontreport

    To Milbank I ask, if someone said, "gaining access to children has been a long-term goal of the (Black or Jewish or Latino or Journalist) movement." would they be a part of a hate group? They are using lies to propagate hate against a specific group that they don't believe should be afforded rights.

    Fuck Dana Milbank.