HOT GAY ACTION  5:26 pm August 20, 2012

Anti-Gay Group Leader Frothing Over ‘Hate Group’ Label Was Totally Gay-Married To David Duke

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Tony PerkinsTony Perkins, the head of the extreme anti-gay hate group the Family Research Council, says the Southern Poverty Law Center has blood on its hands after a pro-gay crazy guy came to the FRC’s DC office and tried to shoot up all the Christianists. Why is this the SPLC’s fault? Because the SPLC has been tracking the FRC as a “hate group” for years, mostly because they keep saying gay people should die, and according to Tony Perkins, this gave “license” to said crazy dude to murder them. Many very serious thinkers in the mainstream media have agreed with Perkins (this time only) because how on earth could the SPLC lump in “mainstream conservatives” like the Family Research Council with such luminous dignitaries as former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard (and now “mainstream conservative” himself!) David Duke? Oh, well, quite easily, as it turns out, seeing as how Tony Perkins and David Duke are basically doing sex in each other’s bottoms every time their eyes meet.

Joe.My.God has the SPLC deets:

In 1996, while managing the U.S. Senate campaign of Woody Jenkins against Mary Landrieu, Perkins paid $82,500 to use the mailing list of former Klan chieftain David Duke. The campaign was fined $3,000 (reduced from $82,500) after Perkins and Jenkins filed false disclosure forms in a bid to hide their link to Duke. Five years later, on May 17, 2001, Perkins gave a speech to the Louisiana chapter of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), a white supremacist group that has described black people as a “retrograde species of humanity.” Perkins claimed not to know the group’s ideology at the time, but it had been widely publicized in Louisiana and the nation, because in 1999 — two years before Perkins’ speech to the CCC — Republican House Speaker Trent Lott had been embroiled in a national scandal over his ties to the group. GOP chairman Jim Nicholson then urged Republicans to avoid the CCC because of its “racist views.” The Duke incident surfaced again in local press in 2002, when Perkins ran for the Republican nomination for the Senate, dooming his campaign to a fourth-place finish in the primaries.

Remind us, Dana Milbank, about how terrible it is to lump the FRC in with the KKK?

I disagree with the Family Research Council’s views on gays and lesbians. But it’s absurd to put the group, as the law center does, in the same category as Aryan Nations, Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, Stormfront and the Westboro Baptist Church. The center says the FRC “often makes false claims about the LGBT community based on discredited research and junk science.” Exhibit A in its dossier is a quote by an FRC official from 1999 (!) saying that “gaining access to children has been a long-term goal of the homosexual movement.”

Offensive, certainly. But in the same category as the KKK?

To answer your question? Yes.

[Joe.My.God/WaPo]

 

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{ 260 comments }

Chichikovovich August 20, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Y'know, Perkins would be able to keep his hooded white robes neatly arranged if he were to invest in some 3M Command Brand Hangers. Then, if he wanted to take them down, he could just stretch the strip, and remove them with no damage to the wall.

ManchuCandidate August 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm

He does, but only for his self martyrdom.

Typodong3 August 20, 2012 at 7:13 pm

So you are saying devout Christians can replace their nails with 3M Command Hangers?

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:27 pm

And get the security deposit back on the rented cross. Win!

GeorgiaBurning August 20, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Yeah, but they don't stick to the paneling on the double-wide

Native_of_SL_UT August 20, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Hey wait. we're gonna need them coat hangers after they outlaw abortion.

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 9:02 am

Say, you know who else used to salute with an outstretched hand?

FraAnima August 21, 2012 at 9:17 am

Spartacus?

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 5:30 pm

"CCC." This is what hate groups think is clever.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Maybe just easy to remember? And they don't have to delve deep into the alphabet to get to 'C', now do they?

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm

No, that's not my point.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Well, they had to go further in to get the K's, right?

T3rbo August 20, 2012 at 5:59 pm
sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 8:22 pm

"C" being a softer "k"?

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Douchey Dumbass Dirtbags more like it.

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 9:03 am

And "AAA" was taken already.

Doktor Zoom August 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm

The CCC Took My Baby Aweeee

Chichikovovich August 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Dang. I never even got that. Good eye.

Remembering my youth, when Canada would often play hockey against teams with CCCP on the jersey, I always imagined everyone in the CCC was a lover of the Soviet Union. With no P-ness.

mavenmaven August 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Silly bunt.

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I believe that's the first time I've seen "hate group" and "clever" in the same sentence.

ChillBill August 20, 2012 at 6:28 pm

"Cunt Cunt Cunt"?

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm

But enough about Palin.

HarryButtle August 20, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I almost didn't see what you were doing there…

Negropolis August 20, 2012 at 11:32 pm

My grandfather was in the CCC, and I hadn't found this out until last year. Neither here nor there, but I've found out so much about my grandparents in just the last five years that I never knew.

ManchuCandidate August 20, 2012 at 5:31 pm

The KKK was once thought to be a mainstream part of US Amercia life, too.

sharethegrief August 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

It appears to be making a comeback.

horsedreamer_1 August 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Don't call it a comeback; we've been here for years.

Fare la Volpe August 20, 2012 at 9:05 pm

So less a comeback, more a reacharound?

Exhausted66 August 20, 2012 at 5:44 pm

LOUISIANA TEXTBOOK LIBEL!

Tundra Grifter August 20, 2012 at 6:42 pm

MC:

I see where you are going with that, but I would disagree with you. I don't think the KKK was ever mainstream America. Read how Notre Dame fought the Klan. John F. Kennedy's "Profiles in Courage" has an excellent piece about a politician fighting the Klan – and risking his career to do it.

Clearly there was some support for the Klan in many parts of our Nation, and strong support for it in some parts. It marched down the boulevards of Washington, DC. It was part of American life.

But, despite "Birth of a Nation" and all the other propaganda, I still think it is an error to state the KKK was Main Street. Or mainstream.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Obvs, you are not up on history a la Bob Jones U.

Typodong3 August 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm

So mainstreaming the KKK was taught in the same syllabus as cavemen riding dinosaurs, right?

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 7:17 pm

And that the Loch Ness monster is real and disproves evolution.

Butch_Wagstaff August 20, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Yes, yes, and more yes to this reply. It's like when my partner insisted that there had NEVER been any KKK chapters in the "North" (northwest Ohio, to be specific).
At it's height of power, the KKK controlled entire towns and even cities. It WAS the "mainstream" at the time. And it wasn't just in the southern states of the U.S.

Fare la Volpe August 20, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Its headquarters was in Indiana too. It was in every state and sometimes literally would not allow elections to proceed unless every candidate was a member.

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 10:45 pm

The KKK used to have a spring recruiting march in Altoona, PA. So, yes, the KKK can be found north of the Mason-Dixon line and it, probably, still has many followers in PA.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 21, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Yes…but that's the same as the people who insist slavery didn't exist in the North by the time of the Civil War. People love to pretend extreme racism and douchebags like the KKK were an entirely Southern phenomena but like you said, they were pretty much if an underground group a mainstream one nonetheless. The KKK used to also provide "goon squads" against striking workers…they were very much involved in supressing the black vote…they were a mainstream right wing organization in the South, Midwest, Southwest (East Texas, particularly Waco and all over Arizona), they were fringe in the West and yes, even the Northeast had its Klansmen. It's only been since the passage of the Civil Rights Act that the KKK lost all credibility outside of areas of the South and have been replaced by Neo-Nazi skinhead movements…the dread SPLC has done yeoman's work identifying these movements.

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 8:21 pm

"John F. Kennedy's "Profiles in Courage" has an excellent piece about a politician fighting the Klan – and risking his career to do it. "

Doesn't that second part imply it was mainstream?

Tundra Grifter August 20, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Only if the individual were running for national office – and that was the only issue.

sullivanst August 21, 2012 at 8:38 am

I fail to see the necessity of either condition, unless we're using starkly different definitions of "mainstream".

BerkeleyBear August 20, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Eh, they pretty much ran Indiana for most of the 20s, including the governor. That's a heck of a lot more mainstream than the Green Party has managed to pull off.

Then again, this was back when being a member of the American Socialist movement wasn't in the same category as finding a live dodo bird on the weird scale.

Negropolis August 20, 2012 at 11:35 pm

You are wrong. The KKK had mainstreamed itself into countless local governments, some state governments, and even had high-ranking members at the federal level. While it's not like they were the most popular group to be associated with, if that ain't mainstreaming, I don't know what is. Hell, some of the strongest instutitionalization of the Klan was here up North.

If the Klan was criticized for anything, at the time, it was for being a secretive society kind of like the wariness many had of the Masons. It's not that the nation didn't agree with them, and more to do with the fact that they feared infiltration by secret societies.

metamarcisf August 20, 2012 at 5:31 pm

A boy's best friend is his mother.

Flat_Earther August 20, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Oedipus, is that you?

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I don't see what you did there.

Grief_Lessons August 20, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Jocasta reference.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:59 pm

"don't see" reference.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Also, too, as Harlan Ellison so well expressed it, a boy's best friend is his dog.

FraAnima August 21, 2012 at 9:41 am

Thinking about that story always makes me hungry.

Doktor Zoom August 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm

I think that headline may be a little inaccurate.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Maybe he wasn't frothing, but just foaming at the mouth a little?

ibwilliamsi August 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Santoruming.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 20, 2012 at 8:20 pm

is there really a verb for Santorum? I mean…it's bad enough that Santorum is a noun, but as an action word? Ugh…

jaytingle August 21, 2012 at 8:29 am

Fair enough. The header should read "Tony Perkins and David Duke Totally Having a Man Meat Sword Fight in Dana Milbank's Mouth."

Mittens Howell, III August 20, 2012 at 5:32 pm

$KKK

Sharkey August 20, 2012 at 8:10 pm

$aKKKagawea dollars, amirite?

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:39 pm

That's close to Mittens's probable net worth.

FraAnima August 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Mother! Mother! Blood!

Wait, not that Tony Perkins?

YouBetcha August 20, 2012 at 5:55 pm

That particular Tony Perkins was more handsome, and more gay.

vtxmcrider August 21, 2012 at 9:31 am

hey are both equally gay. FRC Tony Perkins just hides it less.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Sure, the FRC is a hate group, but you miss the main point: The Lesbians and teh Ghayez force them into it with their hot, sexy love.

T3rbo August 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Plus, they are only trying to protect us from earthquakes and another Katrina. Gay marriage causes a lot of terrible terrible earthquakes etc.

Mittens Howell, III August 20, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Yes! their hot, sexy, hate love.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 20, 2012 at 8:23 pm

Yeah I love when every so often some corporate douchey outfit like WaPo will come to the aid of a nutbag group like this. I also love the less than straight-line connection between the SPLC and the shooter (liberal civil rights attorney group adds nutbag WASPY anti-gay group to hate list, years later crazy gay guy shoots guard) as if they don't give less than sane gay people many reasons to attack them without the SPLC designation being the least bit a part of the equation. Dana Milbank is, as per usual a complete douchebag probably sticking up for 2×4 up the ass (only when feeling salty) friend of his Tony Perkins (really this makes no other sense).

Callyson August 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm

The campaign was fined $3,000 (reduced from $82,500) after Perkins and Jenkins filed false disclosure forms in a bid to hide their link to Duke

JFC, it would have been better not to dole out any punishment at all than this. This isn't even a slap on the wrist, it's a stroke of the palm…

Serolf_Divad August 21, 2012 at 5:20 am

I think the phrase you're looking for here is "hand job."

Come here a minute August 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm

How could good old Tony Perkins be a leader of a hate group when he wears a flag pin on his lapel?

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Didn't he stab someone in a hotel room?

Oh. wait…..

Chichikovovich August 20, 2012 at 5:40 pm

And sometimes it's not even a Confederate flag pin.

MinAgain August 20, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Because he hates lapels.

Negropolis August 20, 2012 at 11:38 pm

You know, when I see someone with a flag pin, and they identify as such, I get a little nervous…

Boojum August 20, 2012 at 5:33 pm

If they are doing sex in each other's bottoms when their eyes meet, does mean their heads are in those same bottoms?

FraAnima August 20, 2012 at 5:35 pm

This is one position not included in the Kama Sutra.

pdiddycornchips August 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Fuck the gay bashing FRC. Fuck Dana Milbank too. If you don't want to be labeled a hate group, stop being a hate group and Dana, if your goal is some of that sweet, sweet wingnut welfare all your friends are getting, the answer isn't a big wet kiss to the FRC. It's simple, suck a Koch.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 20, 2012 at 9:04 pm

In the past Dana Milbank has been considered a librul (he was a go-to on Olbermann for a while) but he has a penchant for repeating and defending the craziest wingnut bullshit on occassion. One example is when he wrote a column calling Obama a sociopathic narcissist (Republicans have the market cornered on those) with a messianic complex which ended his Olbermann association due to the concentrated wingnuttiness of the article. Seems like he's back to his old tricks here, letting his wingnut fly (metaphorically). I just can't imagine why ANYONE would stick up for these guys or AFA who aren't complete right wing douchebags.

Callyson August 21, 2012 at 1:49 am

Yes, and another example is his mommy issues, which came out in the open with his bit about Hillary Clinton and Bitch Beer.

Bitch, please…and yeah, I *am* talkin' to you, Dana Milbank…

horsedreamer_1 August 21, 2012 at 7:10 am

Plus, man named Dana. Only in America.

Seriously. My Romanian students would loller at him & ask if he's a girl.

sharethegrief August 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Shorter version-Perkins managed Woody.

Lascauxcaveman August 20, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Hanging out with KKK Wizard David Duke?

That's just psycho.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Whispers: "Yeah, and he's not a real Wizard…."

Fare la Volpe August 20, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Lonely Merlin has a sad…

ph7 August 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Maybe he's just showing up for the chicks?

MinAgain August 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Oh, look! You posted a pic of Tony with the Unity Candle from the wedding.

Blueb4sinrise August 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

….doing sex in each other’s bottoms every time their eyes meet.

Needz a diagram at least…..

Fare la Volpe August 20, 2012 at 9:16 pm

NO.

Jukesgrrl August 20, 2012 at 9:19 pm

That ladee legislator from New Hampshire would be happy to explain about "wiggling around in excrement."

Callyson August 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

"FRC does not support the Uganda bill, and does not support the death penalty for homosexuality – nor any other penalty which would have the effect of inhibiting compassionate pastoral, psychological, and medical care and treatment for those who experience same-sex attractions or who engage in homosexual conduct," the group adds.

Hey, Uganda–don't kill the gheyz–then we can't use them to get our deluded fundie followers to give us even more money!

For God's sake…

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 6:28 pm

"If euthenasia is 'compassionate' for our kittens and puppies, why not for those irreparably mired in a Godless lifestyle?"

Serolf_Divad August 21, 2012 at 5:23 am

A more accurate statement:

"FRC does not (publicly) support the Uganda bill because it's become a political liability…"

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

So that's one (luckily failed) attack on the FRC versus exactly how many murders, assaults and other hate crimes against gay people just for being gay? And that's before you look at the (sadly extremely high) rate of hate crimes against transsexuals, abortion clinic bombings and other terrorist attacks by the FRC's fellow travelers.

Chichikovovich August 20, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I see a compromise here that could significantly reduce attacks on the FRC and the other violence you list. Both sides give up something, so the Village will love it. Listen to this:

The SPLC will stop listing the FRC as a hate group, and in return, the FRC will stop being a hate group!

Whaddya think? It's win-win!

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha <snort>.

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Your ideas are interesting to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

ph7 August 20, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Perkins paid $82,500 to use the mailing list of former Klan chieftain David Duke.

I didn't realize there was big money in racists' addresses. Anyone want to buy email strings forwarded from my cousin in Tennessee? I charge double for the aol.com addresses contained therein.

LastGasp August 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Just because they have "Family" in the name of their group doesn't mean they're friendly and lovable.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Yeah! Look at the Manson Family.

(Apologies to Marlyn)

Harrison Wintergreen August 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

"(Apologies to Marilyn) "

And Shirley, too, also.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Hell, look at anybody's family.

Lascauxcaveman August 20, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Da Gotti Family and da Soprano Family would both like to have a word wit' youse, Gaspy.

Negropolis August 20, 2012 at 11:41 pm

You don't have to tell me. I get nervous when I see an organization with "family" in its' name. We all know that family has been co-opted and turned into code.

Mittens Howell, III August 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm

"Perkins claimed not to know the group’s ideology at the time"

I know, first Ayn Rand's ghost tricked misguided farm boy Paul Ryan into her Jesus hating philosophy, and now we learn poor Tony was taken in by those meany sheet people.

Why do bad things happen to Good Christian People? Because they're TOO TOLERANT, that's why.

Also, Obama.

Serolf_Divad August 21, 2012 at 5:33 am

These poor souls are well meaning, but oh so naive… like Prince Myshkin in Dostoevsky's The Idiot. Because their hearts are so full of goodness to all mankind, they are easily fooled into seemingly embracing white supremacist groups and the odious, hateful writings of psychopathic literary hacks, who exploit their good natured tendency to just try and get along with everybody. If Perkins had even the slightest inkling that the CCC were the raving band of racist lunatics that the ubiquitous press stories of the day showed them to be, do you think he would have spoken before them? And if Paul Ryan could actually understand the words of Ayn Rand that his mommy read to him at bedtime, do you think he would have embrace her philosophy so fully and whole heartedly?

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm

As I tell my kids its wrong to hate anyone but the Belgins.

Mittens Howell, III August 20, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Terrorist waffles.

Lascauxcaveman August 20, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Miserable fat Belgian bastards.

Flat_Earther August 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Not quite French; not quite German. Too bad they couldn't be Swedes, blond lesbian Swedes…

DahBoner August 20, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Weird thing is, I once met a fair-skinned Belgin man whose skin never burned in the sun, so he never used sunscreen.

Do they have some weird genetic thing going on there?

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Not much sun?

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 20, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Fawk those belgins!

WhatTheHeck August 20, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Please don’t be hatin on the best ale makers in the world.
I know they speak funny languages an all and are responsible for Brussel sprouts. Still… Belgian ales…

Jukesgrrl August 20, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Not to mention, didn't they invent freedom fries?

Baconzgood August 21, 2012 at 8:58 am

I actually lived in Antwerp for 6 months. I make fun of Belgium because they have such a good humor about it. You really can't hate on Belgium. Except for the fact everyone is soooooo god damn nice there. It really is impossible to hate them. Especially the northern Flemish.

Negropolis August 20, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Yeah, what's with their "seperate but equal" institutions and years without a government, anyway? Hengh?

Beowoof August 20, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Fuck you hater.

RadioBowels August 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Hey Dana, what's wrong with the KKK?

“[The Ku Klux] Klan in some areas of the country tried to be a means of reform, fighting the decline in morality and using the symbol of the cross. Klan targets were bootleggers, wife-beaters, and immoral movies. In some communities it achieved a certain respectability as it worked with politicians.” — United States History for Christian Schools, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2001

comrad_darkness August 20, 2012 at 6:25 pm

You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

Rotundo_ August 20, 2012 at 6:50 pm

It's a Bob Jones University Press version of US history for Christian Schools: They just left out the asterisk after the period on the sentence which refers to a very very very small statement at the bottom of the page reading "*Of course, only those of the Colored, Jew or Catholic persuasions, Italians and Mexicans not already covered in the prior descriptions."

RadioBowels August 20, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Did you see Doktor Zoom's post yesterday?

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Yeah, Bob Jones University – a bastion of higher learning.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I have a little Woody Jenkins story from that election where he ran against Mary Landrieu. An acquaintance in south Louisiana tricked me into going to an Amway recruiting meeting, saying it was a meeting of a club whose members got together to talk about current events and business. Yeah, right. Anyway, Woody Jenkins was a speaker at the meeting, talking about how he'd bring old fashioned values back to Louisiana (Yeah, Louisiana is about the last place in the US that should do anymore back sliding.). He went on to say that he was going to beat Landrieu in a landslide because he planned to mobilize all the Amway dealers in the State and they'd all march on Baton Rouge and demand his election. I was pretty sure elections didn't happen that way, even in the Pelican State. One thing led to another, the Amway dealers failed to mobilize and march, and Woody lost. I have to say, though, that Woody and the guy insisting that Amway isn't a pyramid scheme were the only two interesting things that evening. Oh, and the people who tried to block me from leaving and who followed me to my car and tossed Amway instructional cassettes into my car window as I drove away.

smokefilledroommate August 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Yes, but what season are you?

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 5:45 pm

any time some one sais its not a pyrmid scheme….it is.

Lascauxcaveman August 20, 2012 at 6:08 pm

I've known a few people who've tried to get me involved in this shit. None of them would even use the word "Amway," and would in fact vehemently deny that their multilevel orgs were in any way related to Amway. They would in fact lie, repeatedly to my face.

Yeah, sure, I'd love to join your group.

comrad_darkness August 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm

This is a huge benefit of not having any friends. I have no idea what y'all are talking about.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 9:34 pm

That's what I told my acquaintance when I told her we were no longer friends. If you have to lie to recruit someone into something, you need to reexamine what you've gotten yourself into.

viennawoods13 August 20, 2012 at 9:43 pm

I dropped my hairdresser when she got into ACN. She became a serious pain in the ass.

Flat_Earther August 20, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Louisiana has a statue of Huey Long representing the state in the U.S. Capital. That should say all you need to know about local politics.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Springfield will erect a monument to Rod Blagojevich.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Not likely.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Maybe just to his hair?

Designer_Rants August 21, 2012 at 12:26 am

This Long guy's life story should be a movie! (Movies About Him are right behind me, aren't they…?) But very interesting story: http://goo.gl/rU4s2

Edit: I see there was a recent movie adaptation of a fictionalized character based on Long: http://goo.gl/VoTX3

Jukesgrrl August 20, 2012 at 9:29 pm

I was once hospitalized in Georgetown University Medical Center in DC (yes, the one with the statue of Vince Lombardi). I had to share my room, for five days, with a MORMON AMWAY SALESWOMAN. I have yet to recover.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 10:05 pm
Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 3:56 am

I don't think reading anything in a book would have worked.A fact was “true” only if her husband said so.

ManchuCandidate August 20, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Nearly got sucked in once. A former coworker tried to get me involved with them.

Multilevel marketing, my ass. If looks like a Pyramid, feels like a pyramid then it is a fucking pyramid.

Serolf_Divad August 21, 2012 at 5:43 am

Does everybody have a "the time I got tricked into attending an AMWAY meeting" story?

Mine involved a guy who explained that he and some of his friends were setting up an online shopping center and I was invited to attend their meeting and discuss it.

I'm actually kinda glad I fell for it, because it was fascinating watching the salesman make his pitch before the gathered audience. What he was saying was so insanely stupid, it took all the self control I could muster not to scream out: "You're a fucking idiot and anyone who believes any of the shit you're peddling is setting himself up to lose a LOT of money."

His pitch was basically this: "The Internet is going to generate billions of dollars in revenues in the next 10 years, and we are going to own it!" (This was around 1994, BTW, when most people were just starting to get online. )

I left during the break because I just couldn't stand to be in the same room with those guys.

SayItWithWookies August 20, 2012 at 11:54 pm

I think I skipped over this earlier because it started with "I have a little woody," but upon reading it I've had a similar experience. An ex-colleague asked me to have coffee with him out of the blue and asked me if I was interested in a "business proposition." I figured it might be with a startup in our mutual field, but he starts out with the "how would you like to be in business for yourself," and I was like "Oh — this is Amway."

"No it's not — it's a personal marketing opportunity" or something like that. It was Amway.

CheeseBro69 August 20, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Ugh…cant this guy just have his rentboy.com moment already?

coolhandnuke August 20, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Applying Tony Perkins' cause and effect logic to Obama's assault on religious freedoms and the FRC shooting, holds the same merit as blaming Hitchcock's "Psycho" for bed bugs at a Motel 6.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Most of them are more like Motel 666

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 5:43 pm

March to the capitol? Like with pitchforks and torches?

Beowoof August 20, 2012 at 5:45 pm

More of a Madame Defarge type march with a planned session for her to get caught up on her knitting.

BZ1 August 20, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I never liked Milback after he left the Newlywed Show (think about it)

Angry_Marmot August 20, 2012 at 6:58 pm

In the butt, Bob.

mavenmaven August 20, 2012 at 5:44 pm

They both agree that everything is the Jews' fault.

arihaya August 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

therefore all Jews should be "encouraged" to go to Israel, so that Jesus could incinerate them when he has his Second Coming

finallyhappy August 20, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Especially that of our leader- Baruch Chusan Obamawitz. We got you all fooled- you people yelling He's Christian/ He's Muslim. The first president to hold a seder in the White House- what more does the man have to do to prove it!!

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Well, I suppose he could tweet his circumsized dick, but that would probably provoke a pussy riot.

mrblifil August 20, 2012 at 5:46 pm

More awesome work from Joe.My.God. I would like to gay marry him one day. Don't tell my wife. Or actually do tell my wife. That would be kind of hot.

Fare la Volpe August 20, 2012 at 9:13 pm

I fully support this union.

johnnymeatworth August 20, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Tony Perkins was great in Crimes Of Passion.

RadioBowels August 20, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Psycho I, II, and III are three classics.

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Typical libtards. Being intolerent of intolerence. Such hippy-crats.

T3rbo August 20, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Holy cow! Cracker bigots are bigots!

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Mouth breathing douches gotta mouth breath douche baggery. Its the natural order of things.

Fairtackle August 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

that Dana guy is about as sharp as a bag of grapes.

Jukesgrrl August 20, 2012 at 9:31 pm

His hair-do is another thing that's not sharp.

Serolf_Divad August 21, 2012 at 5:47 am

…without the bag and without the grapes.

arihaya August 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I like Perkins better in that Blackadder's firing squad skit

James Michael Curley August 20, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Huh? That was Tony Robinson. Baldrick. "I have a cunning plan."

Schmannnity August 20, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Does this mean that Perkins is going to take credit for the Sikh temple shooting?

Serolf_Divad August 21, 2012 at 5:49 am

No, like all mass shootings that was committed by an atheist out to attack Christianity (or a gun control advocate out to make guns look bad… or both).

Incitefully_Joe August 21, 2012 at 6:58 am
IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Where the fuck is D.W. Griffith when you need him?

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Still dead, like Breitbart.

(I always like to say something nice).

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Who knew the NYC police were so heavy into FRC? http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/21/nyregion/64-of-

GunToting[Redacted] August 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm

The FRC took my baby away.

marconidarwin August 20, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Wait just a cotton picking minute, Wonkette!

James Meredith endorsed David Duke in the gubernatorial race in Lousyana in 1991.

So without a Beck blackboard, Perkins tied to Duke tied to Meredith. One big fat gay wedding that is turning out to be!

In other words do we really need to answer Dana Milquetoast's attempt at centrism?

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I'm guessing it would really suck talking to this butt plug at a cocktail party. 3 to 1 he sais Jesus 8 times in a 2 min. conversation about weather.

T3rbo August 20, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Nah, lots of fun. "I really want to believe, but I just don't trust the bible. Can you prove any of this without using the bible for me?" then make a concerned face

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 6:31 pm

My ex mother in law "found religion" (I told her it was under the couch the whole time) and once said that it was the "first book ever written". She honestly believed this until I pointed out that the greeks wrote a long time before Christ was born. She then said she was talking about the old testament. I pointed out that if that was true how could pharo write his laws. She then said "no genisis" to which I pointed out that the Epic of Gilgamesh is the oldest surviving text and preceeds the Jewish culture by about 2000 years. And that the Epic of G.has the great flood story that the bible lifted. Then I said "BLAUW! You like them apples, 'cause they ain't plums! Don't fuck with a catholic who's dad came within a gnat's eye of being a priest. You read the King James crap. I've been force fed the New American before I could chew. No one thinks the bible is a litteral truth but you born agains. We stopped beliving that dumb shit in the 14 century. Suck on that and tell your preacher my dad and I can take him to school".

Made a pretty akward Thanksgiving dinner.

T3rbo August 20, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Well, I choose to believe the oldest book known, The instructions of Shuruppag, which advises

You should not pass judgment when you drink beer.

and

The need for food makes some people ascend the mountains; it also brings traitors and foreigners, since the need for food brings down other people from the mountains

because jeebus!

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Was that all before you said "Hey Mom, pass the cranberries, willya?"

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Oddly enough, I was reading (a translation of) the E of G before falling asleep Friday night. First time I'd looked at it in twenty years. It reminded me that Enki, or whoever, should definitely have sued Noah for plagiarism.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I wonder why I did two separate replies to your comment. Whoops, three.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Alright, you wore me down, I'm followin' ya!

Callyson August 20, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Au contraire…make it a drinking game. Every time that fucker says "Jesus," have a shot. You'll either be having lots of fun, or will have passed out, within minutes…

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Or punching.

Fare la Volpe August 20, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Or dead. Liver poisoning's a bitch.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Yeah, it takes 30-45 minutes to feel it. You could easily down a handle at one-shot-per-Jesus.

BarackMyWorld August 20, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Anti-gay hate group? Sure. But to be fair, they're also somewhat anti-women's equality, too.

Native_of_SL_UT August 20, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Apparently they just hate anybody who won't fuck them.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:13 pm

An odd form of diversity.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 6:18 pm

The Coo Cluck Clan is not a hate group — we merely want to preserve the purity of our poultry stock from contamination by Guineafowl!

T3rbo August 20, 2012 at 6:57 pm

cocks….

Negropolis August 20, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Is the Coo Clucks Clan any relaton to Chick-fil-A?

glamourdammerung August 20, 2012 at 6:19 pm

The best part: Perkins illegally gave David Duke money (the campaign he was running settled the charges with the FEC).

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:19 pm

In his bottom.

poorgradstudent August 20, 2012 at 6:20 pm

This is yet another sign of American decadence; we don't even make our bigots like we used to! The KKK and the George Wallaces would just come out with their belief that people not like them were inferior in every possible way and threaten to run over anyone who protested them. They definitely wouldn't have cried at just being called "bigot."

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 6:23 pm

There were giants in those days.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Nephilassholem.

Native_of_SL_UT August 20, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Yesteryear's bigots were doing all the victimizing,
Today's bigots think they are the victims.

Jukesgrrl August 20, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Not to mention the poetry of Spiro Agnew (which I now know to be the poetry of Pat Buchanan, Rachel Maddow's late uncle).

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:21 pm

Nattering nabobs of Nephilassholem.

ElPinche August 20, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Joe "Not" the Plumber, the illegitimate shit baby of David Duke and Tony Perkins ??

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Nah, Sam the non-plumber is sui generis (composed of pig testicles).

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 7:24 pm

More like Bradlee Dean

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:26 pm

That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Yes, it is very disturbing… Almost everything on the Wonkette is.

Goonemeritus August 20, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Well if seeking out the same constituency as a hate group and openly advocating the hatred of a group of people makes you a hate group sure but by that crazy logic couldn’t you classify the GOP as a hate group? I’m sorry to resort to Reductio ad absurdum but you can see how crazy this is.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:17 pm

I'm having some trouble finding the absurd part. Is this some kind of dada koan?

Fare la Volpe August 20, 2012 at 9:19 pm

"What is the sound of ice on fire?"

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Suddenly, I have the hook from "Under Pressure" running through my head.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Republicans ad absurdum is about right…

subsum August 20, 2012 at 10:38 pm

I don't think it's crazy at all. Just look at all the shit they have been spewing about Obama all these years. It's a concerted, well-calculated effort. Only hate groups can be that organized.

sudsmckenzie August 20, 2012 at 6:31 pm

FRC, the Highway Rest-stop for the KKK.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 6:31 pm

You know, I am finding it very hard to snark today; so many of today's stories are dealing with horrible hateful bigots and are just rage-inducing, which make it hard for me to bring on the funny.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 6:55 pm

However, you must admit the level of sheer stoopidity is jaw-dropping!

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Come over to The Snark Side, 'bot!

DahBoner August 20, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Exhibit A

Great Punk band name!

SayItWithWookies August 20, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Exhibit A in its dossier is a quote by an FRC official from 1999 (!) saying that “gaining access to children has been a long-term goal of the homosexual movement.”

Offensive, certainly. But in the same category as the KKK?

Seriously — if making specious claims about a group of people that would incite hatred and violence against them is considered hate, then Glenn Beck and Sean Assity and those other folks who say liberals hate America and want to destroy it would have to be considered purveyors of hate speech — and how fair would that be? Oh, wait — that would be perfectly fine, actually.

RadioBowels August 20, 2012 at 6:42 pm

SPLC is the ACORN of 2012.

horsedreamer_1 August 20, 2012 at 7:17 pm

To which they say to the GOP's transcriptionists at FOX & CNN, "Dees Nutz!"

Tundra Grifter August 20, 2012 at 6:44 pm

"… as it turns out, seeing as how Tony Perkins and David Duke are basically doing sex in each other’s bottoms every time their eyes meet."

Some guys just have all the luck!

redarmyzombie August 20, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Say, does anyone know if those white sheets come in skin-tight Latex?

Just, y'know, Inquiring Minds and all that.

MonkeyMotion August 20, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Exhibit A in its dossier is a quote by an FRC official from 1999 (!) saying that “gaining access to children has been a long-term goal of the homosexual movement.”

How quaint. That "goal" was reached years ago by the Catholic priesthood. Praise Jeebus!

owhatever August 20, 2012 at 7:46 pm

You libtards better leave the FRC alone, or I will burn a cross on your lawn, with you attached.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Watch, now they'll be up all our asses for a discussion of gun control.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 8:02 pm

No. No, I think we can be pretty sure that's not gonna happen. Except maybe gun control for libtards.

BTW, what turned out to be the deal with the FRC shooter?

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Too much Chick-Fil-A… http://goo.gl/CLLnL

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:36 pm

One is too many, fifteen isn't enough.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 11:32 pm

I blame the new math with all that newfangled set theory nonsense… And Obama, of course.

Sharkey August 20, 2012 at 7:56 pm

You put your KKK there
and your SPLC out
and your CCC in
and you shake it all about
you do the hateful painful
and you don't turn your self around
that's what republicanism is all about!

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Actually, Dana, you stabby-feeling-making sack of santorum, the SPLC has examples of hate-filled quotes from the FRC on file up to 2010 at current. So in addition to being a horrible human being, you're also a terrible journalist. Fuck you very much.

Katydid August 20, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Those who support gay rights will gain nothing by sticking inflammatory labels on their opponents, many of whom are driven by deeply held religious beliefs.

Guess it's OK to hate, then, if you hold a belief deeply enough. Fuck you, Dana Millbank, and, btw, you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 8:24 pm

The KKK deeply held their belief that the blacks were inferior to them. They even quoted scripture in support of their position. I'll say it again: Fuck you very much Dana.

Chichikovovich August 20, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Where did people ever get the idea that a person with hateful views becomes any less hateful if they just follow any statement of those views with "Oh, and I believe this because God told me to."

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Lots of people believe in God, (specifically the God they believe in, Who shares all their opinions). So it's kind of like professional courtesy.

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 9:27 pm

To be fair, AAA and BBB were already taken, by fine institutions.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:23 pm

And Queue Qlux Qlan would have looked too Arabic.

subsum August 20, 2012 at 10:24 pm

I seeTony Perkins as Pulp Fiction's The Gimp but with the KKK hood and whatnot and David Duke playing Zed. I don't know. It seems like a nice, comforting image.

FlownOver August 20, 2012 at 11:08 pm

As usual, the Bard of Hibbing foresaw this long ago:

"Well, I was sleepin' like a rat when I heard something jerkin'
There stood Rita lookin' just like Tony Perkins."

Negropolis August 20, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Te FRC's immediate response shows that this was a coordinate attack against the Southern Poverty Law Center. They picked an if not rather obscure, at least a rather mundane organization literally hours after the shooting. They'd already printed up the press release years before hand as far as I'm concerned.

Designer_Rants August 20, 2012 at 11:35 pm

I hope they teach every man woman and child in Merika what the SPLC is.

UW8316154 August 20, 2012 at 11:24 pm

This is off-topic and I'm sorry about that, but I just need to say it:

Akins is a cocksucker.

SayItWithWookies August 21, 2012 at 1:05 am

But a legitimate cocksucker.

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 1:28 am

Hell, a cocksucker if he's lucky. I have a feeling that the only genitals he's seen in many years have been his own.

Negropolis August 20, 2012 at 11:29 pm

BTW, I love how the mainstream media (and society, in general) tries to parse hate. As long as a group isn't using slurs in its press releases, it means that it's equally legitimate as any other group. That's a lie; in fact, it's a damned lie.

SayItWithWookies August 21, 2012 at 12:21 am

And how is it inciting hate to record what a group does and then publish it? If the FRC has a problem with the Southern Poverty Law Center's publication of its activities — if it's biased, if it's packed with lies, if it's cherry-picking or misrepresenting their stances in any way — then they should've said so. That their declarations have been so completely devoid of any refutation of the SPLC's reporting is plenty telling.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 21, 2012 at 3:08 am

OT a couple of things

First up, a partially heartwarming bit of research out of Duke: Given the choice between wealth distribution as it is, and what it could be, 90% of Republicans and 93% of Democrats would choose a distribution like that of Sweden.

Interestingly,

The reality is that the bottom two buckets together, the bottom 40% of Americans, own 0.3% of the wealth; 0.3%, almost nothing, whereas the top 20% own about 84% of the wealth.

And people don't understand it. They don't understand how much wealth the top have and in particular, they don't understand how little the bottom has.

Secondly, I was doing a bit of gambling in South Lake Tahoe at the weekend and met a very nice young lady of Filipino descent who was there with her (Caucasian) same-sex partner. We spoke for a bit, and she nipped off to play roulette. A little later, she returned and said hello and burst into uncontrollable tears. Her problem? Her partner's sister had left two days early from a birthday celebration because of this poor girl. Couldn't handle the same-sex thing. "She's ultra-Republican" sobs the poor girl to people she's only met that night.

Sickening. Fuck Republicans. Or, rather, don't because then they might breed.

Pap Finn August 21, 2012 at 3:18 am

"GOP chairman Jim Nicholson then urged Republicans to avoid the CCC because of its 'racist views.' "

Ha, ha! Nicholson was only urging Republicans to avoid embracing the "racist views" of the CCC *publicly* because it might embarrass the party if civilized people noticed. He didn't mean that they couldn't discreetly swap casseroles and hate on the dusky folk with CCC droolers at the megachurch on Sundays, where librul eyes wouldn't be a-pryin'.

Comrade Wingtardd August 21, 2012 at 8:43 am

What would happen to the GOP if there were no more repressed gays?

ttommyunger August 21, 2012 at 9:42 am

Will there always be a closeted ghey Tony Perkins with us? Yes, yes there will.

belmontreport August 21, 2012 at 10:46 am

To Milbank I ask, if someone said, "gaining access to children has been a long-term goal of the (Black or Jewish or Latino or Journalist) movement." would they be a part of a hate group? They are using lies to propagate hate against a specific group that they don't believe should be afforded rights.

Fuck Dana Milbank.

MissTaken August 20, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I heard Kirk Cameron watched the Loch Ness monster eat a banana and that is why evolution didn't happen.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Well, Kirk Cameron is evidence against evolution.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Just imagine how jealous it must make Cameron every time he looks at the entertainment news and sees how much more successful that Leo kid they brought on for Growing Pains' final season is than him.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 7:52 pm

I'll bet Kirk Cameron likes to "eat a banana", if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 20, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Hah…and I thought Kirk Cameron was so Christian that watching a male dinosaur eat a banana would be too gay and cause him to sob violently. My favorite from the "man rides dinosaur" culture is in that movie "Jesus Camp" when this crazy idiot who looked like an evangelical converted hippy (yes I know that's highly counterintuitive!) sang a raucus chorus of "Behemoth was a Dinosaur!" to a bunch of totally non-impressionable children (they only become impressionable as adults while in college, Q.E.D.!)….first in the ways of god, indeed….

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 7:39 pm

We elected him because the last, Republican guy was thoroughly corrupt; because Blago was ambitious and had the right family connections for politics, he coasted in. By the time it sunk in with the public that he was a paranoid jerk, a fool, and an obstructionist failure, Fitzgerald was on the scent.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 8:14 pm

I need a white cane for this thread…

Butch_Wagstaff August 20, 2012 at 8:22 pm

The major lesson is don't piss off the gays in the entertainment industry….

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Oh the chutzpah

SayItWithWookies August 21, 2012 at 12:08 am

Regardless of everything else besmirching George Ryan's career, I have never been prouder of a Republican politician as when he signed Illinois' death penalty moratorium. It may have been the first as well, now that I think of it.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 10:00 pm

YES! Creationist Science Fair! http://objectiveministries.org/creation/news.html

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 10:16 pm

You mean this is fake??? http://surbrook.devermore.net/superpics/beasts/se

(fucking morons)

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Oy. Could they at least use a website template that doesn't induce epilepsy?

Designer_Rants August 20, 2012 at 11:42 pm

"Civil War Dinosaurs?", it asks, as if we, The Reader, should be the judge, cuz, ya know, there's a picture right there of civil war dudes standing by dinosaurs, so; FACTS. ?.

IonaTrailer August 21, 2012 at 12:00 am

Must be true, it's on the Internet!

horsedreamer_1 August 21, 2012 at 7:08 am

Meryl Streep Libel!!!

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