Todd Akin Explains ‘Legitimate Rape’ To Mike Huckabee With Wheelchairs And 9/11

by Jesse Taylor

he will save you from burningYesterday, Rep. Todd Akin, who is the GOP nominee for the US Senate in Missouri, made a comment declaring that women who experienced “legitimate rape” could not get pregnant.

Today, Man-Who-Used-To-Be-Skinny Mike Huckabee had Akin on his show to handhold him through a damage control interview. About two minutes in, Huckabee asks Akin if he meant “forcible rape” rather than “legitimate rape,” which Akin flop-sweats into agreement with. (Why “forcible rape” changes the nature of the vagina, I do not know, but I am sadly not the expert that a sitting Congressman is.)

After a while, Huckabee asks Akin whether he expected more support through this tough time, and this is when Akin’s Giuliani brain kicks in and goes buck fucking wild (starts at 8:08):

Well, I understand from watching other people who’ve made mistakes that, you know, nobody wants to own your mistake. And I don’t think anybody should. And that’s why I’m apologizing for what I did wrong. And so, on the other hand, there are certain basic principles that we believe in, and that I’m just completely committed to, and that is the fact that people and that life are teremendously valuable. That’s what’s made America such unique country — it’s because we believe that life is something that comes from our Creator. We’re made in his image, and all across America you see Americans that have a respect for life. It’s not a political debate, it’s not words, it’s how they live their lives.

I remember September 11th, the rescue workers running into the buildings that’s about to collapse, grab somebody in a wheelchair, pick em up – they don’t check their IDs to see whether they’re important or not  - they just take them to safety and run back for more. They by their lives speak as Americans of what we think about the value of human beings and how much respect we hold people with and also people who’ve been victimized, how we hurt with them and try to care for them and try to love them. And that’s the very special thing about our country. That’s what we have at risk right now. And that’s what – we have to defend that.

Akin just wants to save babies from terror-rapists who, unlike real Americans, ASK FOR ID’S before saving you from burning buildings. Let’s try to love and defend wheelchair fetuses, friends. Let’s.

 
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{ 301 comments }

bumfug August 20, 2012 at 2:15 pm

It's all science – after a forcible rape, "Your lady parts will just snap shut like a Venus Fly Trap, digestive juices handle the rest."

Tundra Grifter August 20, 2012 at 2:22 pm

"It's all just science…" Well, you just lost the entire Republican Party right there!

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Bitch should have swallowed…

anniegetyerfun August 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I would like to take a moment to wish that such a thing were an option just as a forcible rape is taking place.

MittBorg August 20, 2012 at 4:35 pm

What, a vagina dentata that ejects flesh-dissolving juices? Patent that, and you'll die a rich woman.

LastGasp August 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Yes, I think the movie "Teeth" explains how it's done: Dawn fights back and inadvertently bites off his penis with her vagina.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teeth_%28film%29

Lascauxcaveman August 20, 2012 at 2:36 pm

That one is sooo not going in the netflix queue.

MittBorg August 20, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I watched that with my partner. It's hilarious, if, uh, uncomfortable in parts!

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 1:33 am

Yeah, especially that male part, down there.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 1:46 am

That was just exactly the one, my friend.

kittensdontlie August 20, 2012 at 2:40 pm

True Bible fact: The Venus fly trap was the first plant created in Eden.

True Wonkette bible fact: When god died, evolution took over. The 'plant' developed a means for locomotion,etc and hocus pocus abracadabra…woman was created.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 20, 2012 at 10:45 pm

So did they get stuck in pipes and become Pirahna Plants?

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 2:48 pm

It's fundie "science"; if a rape was "legitimate" and the victim really deserving; in other words either a virgin or wife and mothers who has only had sex with one man; then god will use his magic powers to make them not get pregnant. Unless the rape baby is his will, in which case it's actually a blessing!

This is what Christians actually believe.

UW8316154 August 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm

That is why the aryan love child is God's blessed angel, even IF wine coolers were involved.

BerkeleyBear August 20, 2012 at 3:54 pm

No, this is what dumbass evangelicals believe. They also think that because God saved Noah (ensuring that incest would be necessary to repopulate the earth) climate change is nothing to worry about and marrying your sister is okay sometimes.

Plenty of Christians are pro-choice and abhor all violence against women. Just like most Catholic women use birth control that doesn't involve rythmic guessing, no matter what the US Conference of Bishops thinks.

MittBorg August 20, 2012 at 4:42 pm

This comment has been deleted by the administrator.

Would someone please examine the script again? It's acting all high-horsey.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:55 pm

A little while ago, Wonkville froze up when I tried to use "flaming" in a title. Go figger.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

In related news, the population of crazed shit-house rats is exploding in Missouri.

yrbmegr August 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Wonder if Akin knows anything about jobs.

Clancy_Pants August 20, 2012 at 2:16 pm

"I remember September 11th, the rescue workers running into the buildings that’s about to collapse, grab somebody in a wheelchair, pick em up – they don’t check their IDs to see whether they’re important or not"

What has this go to do with rape? Seems like an argument against Republican efforts at voter ID laws? RINO!

weejee August 20, 2012 at 2:22 pm

What has this go to do with rape? Seems like an argument against Republican efforts at voter ID laws? RINO!

Ear rape is what we got this morning. Todd Akin is just a Q-Tip loaded with ear wax.

Tundra Grifter August 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm

CP:

He's channeling Duh Gov' – half remembering the talking points, so he just tosses the word salad.

bumfug August 20, 2012 at 2:17 pm

It's all so confusing – like Bill O'Reilly says, "Weenie goes in, baby comes out; who can explain it?"

Terry August 20, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Bill's knowledge is arguably second hand on the subject.

MittBorg August 20, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Well, he's got a weenie. Admittedly a very *weeny* weenie, but still.

redarmyzombie August 20, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I'll bet you he might as well be a Ken doll for all the use it gets.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 1:24 pm

$10,000 and you're on.

MosesInvests August 20, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Actually, Bill-O seems to prefer to use felafel.

Wadisay August 20, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Mitt Romney is going to consult with his woman expert Ann to get his position straight on this. Good luck with that.

JustPixelz August 20, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Romney disavowed Akin's remarks, if not Akin himself. At least now we know what level of debasing rhetoric it takes to get Romney to take a stand.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Until he changes his position.

Veritas78 August 20, 2012 at 3:24 pm

He would have stated it differently.

Butch_Wagstaff August 20, 2012 at 5:11 pm

And retroactively.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Using different words, which he will not reveal.

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 1:38 am

He wouldn't have used those same words, is what it is. I mean, his running mate has the same policy position as Akin, which is parsing the legal definition of rape.

viennawoods13 August 20, 2012 at 3:06 pm

It must be the missionary position.

SigDeFlyinMonky August 21, 2012 at 9:02 am

He had a position as a missionary. In France! Is that what you mean?

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Today we are all feeling violated…

marconidarwin August 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Legitimately?

kittensdontlie August 20, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Reading that excerpt was a violation of any sane mind…very Palinesque.

emmelemm August 20, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Today, and every day in Real Amurica™.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 3:08 pm

But at least it was a moving violation?

marconidarwin August 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I remember September 11th, the rescue workers running into the buildings that’s about to collapse, grab somebody in a wheelchair, pick em up – they don’t check their IDs to see whether they’re important or not

Wonder where that was. Besides, we're talking about the twin towers, wasn't everyone in there important? C'mon, we do not start bombing countries because some unimportant people on welfare were harmed.

JustPixelz August 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm

The story I heard was that a man stayed to help his wheelchair-bound co-worker get out. The guy in the wheelchair told him to save himself, but the man said he could not in good conscience just leave. They both died when the buildings collapsed.

It was not a rescue worker. And they weren't strangers. But it was very brave.

heathenette August 20, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Who told this story if BOTH guys died? I’m just wondering.

Tundra Grifter August 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

"Forcible" rape was another GNoP serious error – from memory that was 12 or so months ago. The "conservatives" tried to get the law changed. That just might have been the opening shot in the Republican War on Women.

2.0: Yep – it was about a year ago. And this latest gaffe isn't going to do Paul RAyn any good:
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2012/08/19/71225

Jus_Wonderin August 20, 2012 at 2:22 pm

"The shot heard round the womb"?

sewollef August 20, 2012 at 2:47 pm

'10 Days That Shook The Womb' — John Reed.

weejee August 20, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Tundra, the Rethugs are simply trying to distinguish between a blah man raping a flower of the Confederacy in Birmingham, AL and a gang bang by some good ol' boyz in New Bedford, MA.. They have a sad because we at the Wonkette do not have the brains or sophistication to see the clear difference. Gang banging by some rednecked stallions isn't forcible rape, so God's vagina sayz none babies.

emmelemm August 20, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Chiffarobe.

Gleem McShineys August 20, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Is it even possible to bust up a chiffarobe without using force?

viennawoods13 August 20, 2012 at 10:38 pm

But you can do it with only one good arm.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 20, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Yes, but that Jedi Shiz makes it waaaay easier.

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

I think it's time that both Paul Ryan and this Akin asshat suffered forcible rape…and not with votes either. We need a posse in this country to use whatever is at hand and stick it up these clowns buttholes and ask them if they like it. Since they're Repubs they probably would.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Not the way *I* have it planned. I'll have those little bitches sobbing for mercy before I'm done with *their* asses.

Katydid August 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

No mention of shoring up the economy, Marxism and the troops? GOP demagogue fail.

anniegetyerfun August 20, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Seriously, what a fucking lightweight.

NorthStarSpanx August 20, 2012 at 2:36 pm

I thought we didn't support the culture of life once they were born and in need of wheelchairs. They don't need no education. Or school breakfast / lunch programs. #WasillaCityCouncil

Tequila Mockingbird August 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

What's even scarier is that this buffoon serves on the House Committee of Science, Space and Technology.

This is exactly why American is slipping behind other countries.

weejee August 20, 2012 at 2:31 pm

This is exactly why American is slipping behind other countries.

This is why we need moar science text books from Bob Jones(in') University <not>.

sewollef August 20, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Especially the parts about how the KKK were a community outreach organization, or domestic terrorists, I can't remember which. And that's why I need moar education.

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 3:43 pm

That's why we need more schooling for more students for More Science High…and we're not afraid of it, are we?

Pennywhistler August 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Who-a won the Second World War, you so smart?

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 3:52 pm

“No Response!”

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 10:03 pm
SigDeFlyinMonky August 21, 2012 at 9:08 am

I'm going to cut the soles off of my shoes live in a tree and learn to play the flute.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 2:54 pm

The House Committee of Bullshit and Nonsense

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Maybe his expertise is in the "Space" part of it, since taking up it is probably the only thing for which he's qualified?

Nice catch, Tequila…

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 2:19 pm

"They by their lives speak as Americans of what we think about the value of human beings and how much respect we hold people with and also people who’ve been victimize"

Unlike you, who think people who have been victimized by rape have no value and should be further punished by being forced to go through with the pregnancy and give birth to the rapist's child against their will. You have absolutely no respect for human beings if they have a vagina, you vile sack of shit.

shelwood46 August 20, 2012 at 4:46 pm

In my 25 years as a firefighter, I can't seem to recall any cases where firefighters rescued a fetus from a building and left the woman behind. Guess that makes firefighters better than Rep. Akin.

Also, too, I have seen many derpy libertarians push for fire departments to be funded solely by insurance rather than any tax money, which would, in fact, create a situation where firefighters would have to ask for ID before saving people. (They also seem unaware that fire departments do a lot more than put out house fires, but, whatever.)

Serolf_Divad August 20, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Also, the human body has ways of protecting itself fromn bullets if you didn't really want to get shot in the first place. That's pretty much why Abortion should be illegal and gun control abolished. No one gets hurt who wasn't looking for it/didn't deserve it.

Callyson August 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Now that you mention it, if they don't want to get aborted, don't those fetuses have ways of protecting themselves?

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I'll stand my ground on that

Terry August 20, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Except for Saint Ronnie, of course, in front of the Washington Hilton.

CthuNHu August 20, 2012 at 3:57 pm

He took a bullet for your sins.

Stevola August 21, 2012 at 8:01 am

Is that why that guy had to apologize to Cheney?

comrad_darkness August 20, 2012 at 2:19 pm

No one is the "expert" that a sitting congressman is. Otherwise they'd be unemployable and starving under a bridge somewhere.

Pennywhistler August 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Depends what they are sitting on.

BornInATrailer August 20, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Good thing he's not running a legitimate campaign and the voting body has ways to just shut that whole thing down. Punishment ought to be on the candidate, not the electorate.

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Oh man, dude, STOP DIGGING!

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Do you want to be the one to tell someone on the House Committee of Science, Space and Technology that he can't get to China that way?

RadioBowels August 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm

No, we are like, "keep digging fucknuts!"

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 2:40 pm

See, I'm liberal, which means I care about the retreaded…

Dudleydidwrong August 20, 2012 at 3:13 pm

You can't fix stupid. Let him keep digging in his own little mud puddle.

Mittens Howell, III August 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Would you like to borrow this bulldozer, Mr Akin?

WhatTheHolyHeck August 20, 2012 at 3:08 pm

There's a damn fine reason McCaskill wanted him to stay in the race.

fuflans August 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm

macaca moment.

Eve8Apples August 20, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I disagree. Keep digging! I'm running to Home Depot to buy the ignorant twit more shovels.

Goonemeritus August 20, 2012 at 2:20 pm

The Congressman is exactly like a selfless rescue worker running towards a burning building. The only differences are instead of running he is spewing hate and instead of a burning building he has set fire to any hope of ever holding elected office again.

Estproph August 20, 2012 at 2:30 pm

If only he really would run into a burning building…

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 2:58 pm

But isn't he running for office in a STUPID state? And the stupid are the majority in Missouri, so do you really think there are any intelligent people in the state that will initiate a verbal smackdown in the form of political ads that show this bonehead as a complete asshat? And do you believe that said political ads will help the stupid see reason? Do you really think Repubs can think???????

e_z August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Zobiefied moron. Just a total souless zombie pretending to pass as human.

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I'm getting a little tired of these ass holes bringing up 9-11 to push their politics.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 2:38 pm

'9/11' is the safe word.

sewollef August 20, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I thought 9/11 was an ex-mayor, but current douchebag of New York?

proudgrampa August 20, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Thank you, that needs to be said. Often.

Tundra Grifter August 20, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Did you hear America's Mayor over the weekend bemoaning the lack of civility?

HempDogbane August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

The Huckster didn't want to get all technical and explain that it's the copper in the penny that is no longer between the knees that has the contraceptive effect.

comrad_darkness August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

"it’s how they live their lives."

By brandishing semi-automatics, screaming for the death penalty, and kicking 40 million poor kids off their 30cent free lunches.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 2:59 pm

De-funding Grover, and paying Haliburton a zillion dollars a minute.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

And guess what, fucknuts, your "mistake" wasn't the "legitimate rape" comment, saying "forcible" instead means the exact same thing, when rape is rape, whether forcible or not, and the truly evil part is the fundamental belief that women should not be able to control their own bodies. Then you start rambling nonsense about the sanctity of human life which is completely irrelevant since a fetus is not a fucking human being, while women are, moran.

anniegetyerfun August 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm

Haha, women as people! That's rich.

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

That’s what’s made America such unique country — it’s because we believe that life is something that comes from our Creator. We’re made in his image, and all across America you see Americans that have a respect for life.

Ummmmmmmm, hey Todd? You know, America was not around when God did that whole "Genesis/Garden of Eden" thingie…

PsycWench August 20, 2012 at 2:53 pm

I wonder if this guy is aware of all the Catholic countries in Europe? You know, that religion that is always going on and on about life?

Pennywhistler August 20, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Or say Egypt and that other religion that goes on and on about life.

Dudleydidwrong August 20, 2012 at 3:17 pm

If Akin is made "in the image of god," that tells us a lot about the god he believes in. More like Goya than Jesus, I'd say: http://rosemarygeorge.tumblr.com/post/483423579/c

rickmaci August 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm

"it’s because we believe that life is something that comes from our Creator. We’re made in his image,"

They only mouth these words but don't really mean them because by the relentless manner this guy and his wingnutz friends malign and dehumanize the President, they clearly do not believe the President was made in God's image.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:49 pm

You know, I didn't even notice this the first time through, because the asshole is such a repugnant pile of aborted feces, but this is a guy my age, who went to a legitimate (SWIDT?) college, and he is describing America as being specially unique.

So he's an illiterate repugnant pile of rotting rat dicks.

Tequila Mockingbird August 20, 2012 at 2:22 pm

At the 1:37 mark, this asshole actually utters the words “I even know some women who have been raped.”

hollywooddood August 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm

No doubt some of them are his best friends.

comrad_darkness August 20, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I hope they came over and kicked him in the nads in response.

1stNewtontheMoon August 20, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Correction: I knew some I once had sex with.

Dudleydidwrong August 20, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Had to be rape. Would any woman willingly have sex with that sociopath?

RadioBowels August 20, 2012 at 2:38 pm

As I said yesterday, I would bet this sociopath is a rapist.

marconidarwin August 20, 2012 at 2:47 pm

On a real news network the followup would have been: "Yes, but do you know any black women who have been raped?"

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 3:02 pm

"Yes, but do you know any black women you have raped?"

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Oh boy, that's like saying "I even know some black people, so you know I can't be a racist." Oh frack this shite already. I've had enough of stupid white men thinking they know everything. Where's Soledad O'Brien, I bet she could shut this asshat up in a couple of seconds and perhaps make him cry.

Texan_Bulldog August 20, 2012 at 2:22 pm

WTF's the difference between “forcible rape” and “legitimate rape”? These people….I swear.

Gleem McShineys August 20, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Is "unforcible" a word? Is it "non-forcible"? What exactly is the converse, here?

And what do you call it when one is constantly raping logic and reason?

heathenette August 20, 2012 at 11:39 pm

And what do you call it when one is constantly raping logic and reason?
The GOP?

Joshua Norton August 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm

women who experienced “legitimate rape” could not get pregnant.

Hey girlie. Just close your eyes and think of England

orygoon August 20, 2012 at 4:38 pm

NO. "Just close your eyes and think of the good that might come of this violation and panic (I was almost raped once and I figured I was going to end up dead in the ditch, so I couldn't rat the guy out. I also heard someone screaming in the loudest, most terrified Hollywood style. After a couple of minutes I realized–you guessed it–that it was me)–you might end up with the blessing of an adorable little babby girl or boy!"

If I'd had that advice, maybe I would have just quietly done what the wannabe-rapist said, and he wouldn't have chickened out (and apologized, no less–after beating me!), and maybe I'd have a bigger family, Win all around? I think I want Akin to die slowly, and screaming. That's allowed, is it not?

KathrynSane August 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Somehow, it still manages to amaze me how many politicians openly despise the 50% of the country with a vagina. They do realize we're allowed to vote now, right?

marconidarwin August 20, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Only for now. When they win the 2012 elections, that historical mistake will be corrected. Remember the same crowd openly despise 100% of the country with a darker skin tone. That is being taken care of now.

So give them a break, they are not good at multi-tasking.

LibertyLover August 20, 2012 at 2:47 pm

They are working on the voting part…

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 20, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Women don't need to vote. That's what husbands are for.

zwoits August 20, 2012 at 10:14 pm

They try to block it out..that's why Nancy Pelosi scares them so much….

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 1:24 pm

It's not just politicians, m'dear. You'd be amazed at how many heterosexual men in this country despise women and everything about them. *Despise* them.

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Rape: compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.

ALL FUCKING RAPE IS FORCIBLE COCK SUCKERS. THAT'S THE DEFINITION OF RAPE!!!!!!!!!!

Callyson August 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I remember September 11th

HOW fucking long are the Reeps going to keep pimping 9.11 every time they need a political boost?

Asshole.

RadioBowels August 20, 2012 at 2:39 pm

9/11 '12

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Just because they "remember" September 11th, doesn't mean they "understand" what happened on September 11th.

yrbmegr August 20, 2012 at 4:05 pm

How long are they going to keep getting elected to office when they demonstrate, every day, that they are a sub-species?

ChernobylSoup August 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Dude's on the committee that oversees NASA. We're lucky Mars Curiosity didn't land in Uganda with a mission to learn their way of treating women.

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm

We're lucky we still have a NASA.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Now, imagine you are a government scientist trying to explain why your work is important to a member of Congress.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 20, 2012 at 11:00 pm

KSSH This is Mission Control from the Senate science and space subcommittee. The reports indicate that the landing module for the raper unit “Legitimate” has begun its descent.
KSSH
Now from here the temperature rises to an unbearable amount as heat from the press adds up.
KSSH
Next stage of descent, PR flacks at Republican Mission control center back in DC will jettison the useless heat shield and deploy the raper “Legitimate”’s parachute consultants to slow the descent.
Kssh
Now the skycrane of male privilege should lower the “Legitimate” gently to the ground.
KSSH
Oh no, the spin control unit on the skycrane has malfunctioned!
Teams at the McCaskill Control center Cheer with joy!!
Raper “Legitimate” has hit rock bottom.
The electoral observation unit “538” confirms that there is a debris field.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Apparently this is the guy where Todd gets his lady-bit "facts".
http://petercornswalled.blogspot.com/2012/03/myth

mavenmaven August 20, 2012 at 2:30 pm

That guy is one sick mo-fu. I mean this very seriously. He's reviving that medieval myth that birth confirms that the woman wanted it or enjoyed it. I'd say we test the hypothesis that if he bends over after a swift kick in the balls, that means he enjoyed it, and we should do it a few more times for his entertainment.

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 3:13 pm

No, he should have a dildo, a really large dildo, forcibly thrust into his anus and have the person thrusting it move it around. If he is aroused by this in any way that will confirm that he wanted it or enjoyed it. And then we can let all his friends and neighbors know that he gets off on it. Kinky asshat!

/fixed

viennawoods13 August 20, 2012 at 3:18 pm

And reviving it as if it was a fact, which I cannot comprehend. Just because some dickhead, without the benefit of modern science around wrote it in 1685 or whatever, THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT TRUE!! Fuckwad.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm

The latest from Peter.
http://petercornswalled.blogspot.com/

"Samuel Farr, in the first legal-medicine text to be written in English (1785), argued that “without an excitation of lust, or enjoyment in the venereal act, no conception can probably take place.”

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Really? I wonder how many women had sex with their husbands and didn't enjoy it 'cause mister wanted to do it the same way all the time and they were bored out of their minds and they still got pregnant? Any takers????? Any at all???????

Dashboard Buddha August 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm

"UP SUCK"….what the ever loving fuck?!??

freakishlywrong August 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

The truly awful part? This fucknut will probably still win. Y'know, the "base" and all..

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 2:30 pm

He was only up a point to begin with, it's expected to have a George Allen effect.

Even Republican women know this is bullshit, they just may be scared to say so.

Pennywhistler August 20, 2012 at 3:59 pm

He was up at least 5.

marconidarwin August 20, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Yup! Remember how Chambliss won against Cleland.

mrpuma2u August 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Comb-over nimrod Akin doesn't realize that the fact he is a member of Congress makes several people renounce the existence of a "Creator" every day. I hope he is stupid and prideful enough to stay in the race, and hand the seat to McCaskill on a platter. What a moron.

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

"No, no, no. Dig UP, stupid!"

comrad_darkness August 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

"the rescue workers running into the buildings"

Watch it, guy. Those were union workers. Mixed political messages! Time for another apology.

NorthStarSpanx August 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Akin voted against a bill to provide care for 9/11 first responders suffering health consequences as a result of their work amid the burning and smoking buildings at Ground Zero.
http://www.firedupmissouri.com/node/13157

viennawoods13 August 20, 2012 at 3:13 pm

You can't make that shit up. These guys are such assholes.

jesus_vs_gojira August 20, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Legitimate emergency responders don't get cancer. The body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

UW8316154 August 20, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Plus one for you!

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

The problem is, sure, you won't get pregnant from legitimate rape, but do you know how much paperwork you have to do to make it legitimate? If Republicans really want to make a difference, they should launch a "Rape Paperwork Reduction" act to prove they want to help women.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I remember September 11th, the rescue workers running into the buildings that’s about to collapse, grab somebody in a wheelchair, pick em up – they don’t check their IDs to see whether they’re important or not – they just take them to safety and run back for more.

And then forcibly raped them?

anniegetyerfun August 20, 2012 at 2:34 pm

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking, and I was so glad that someone else was twisted enough to read the same thing.

DahBoner August 20, 2012 at 2:48 pm

USA! USA! USA!

Gleem McShineys August 20, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Oh, but here, see… Maybe they were unconscious, so the rape was somehow … "non-forcible"?

WHAT THE FUCK

BoatOfVelociraptors August 20, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Well, now that he can't wheel away…

ManchuCandidate August 20, 2012 at 2:26 pm

It's his sad reaction that he can't shake the fact that he really really really really fucked up and won't shut the fuck up instead just keeps digging that hole deeper and deeper.

Angry white Teabaggers should be seen (not really) and definitely not heard.

Beowoof August 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm

That this man has a college degree and sits in Congress should be an embarrassment for all of us. That he contributes in anyway to the discussion on science is even more frightening. These fools prey on the goobers for their votes and then rape them with the budget all so they can buy another house. I don't know what to make of my country anymore. Our most liberal time was brought about by the generation who survived the depression and WW II, their children who are now running things are spoiled self-indulgent brats who feel entitled and everyone else can fuck themselves.

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 3:18 pm

What college did he get his degree from? One of those paid schools like University of Phoenix or some such?? Bob Jones University? Liberty University? Newt University??? Glen Beck U??????

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Worcester Polytechnic Institute, which is actually a decently-regarded school.

Mildly interesting bits of info:

1. Akin is a few months older than I, which means he should have graduated HS in 1965. He is shown as Class of 1971 at WPI, which suggests good student-deferment skillz.

2A. His congresscritter website says: "After graduation, he served as an officer in the U.S. Army with the Army Combat Engineers at Fort Belvoir in Alexandria, Virginia. He received an honorable discharge from the Army Reserves in 1980. Todd spent four years as an engineer with IBM. He later moved into corporate management at Laclede Steel." Which makes it sound like he was in the Army for eight years.

2B. However, his Senatorial campaign bio makes it pretty clear that he served about one year of active duty, and then worked for IBM for four years and then Laclede Steel from 1977, while in the inactive reserve.

3. He got his Master of Divinity in 1984 from Covenant Theological Seminary, which is the primary theological center of the "Presbyterian Church in America", which is (surprise) the conservative version of Presbyterianism. Handily, it's located in St Louis.

4. In addition to his opposition to abortion, he has also generated a bill to allow servicemembers, and in particular chaplains, to freely express, while on duty, their hatred for homosexuality. This is "freedom of religion".

Beowoof August 20, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Worcester Polytech must be proud.

Pennywhistler August 20, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Not just a college degree, but also a Masters in Divinity. Really.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 4:51 pm

So he is a Bette Midler impersonator in his spare time?

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Haha.

ManchuCandidate August 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Show me GOPer: Qualifications?
Todd Akin: Rape, racism, teabaggin', and rape.
Show me GOPer: You said rape twice.
Todd Akin: I like rape.

Dudleydidwrong August 20, 2012 at 3:25 pm

"Where the legitimate-rapin' women at?"

mavenmaven August 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm

"We love victimized people so much in our America that we want to create more and more of them with our GOP programs."

no_gravity August 20, 2012 at 2:29 pm

It's just a clear case of womb envy.

Beowoof August 20, 2012 at 2:29 pm

That this man has a college degree and sits in Congress should be an embarrassment for all of us. That he contributes in anyway to the discussion on science is even more frightening. These fools prey on the goobers for their votes and then rape them with the budget all so they can buy another house. I don't know what to make of my country anymore. Our most liberal time was brought about by the generation who survived the depression and WW II, their children who are now running things are spoiled self-indulgent brats who feel entitled and everyone else can fuck themselves.

Mumbletypeg August 20, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Like the flawed conclusions of Akin's malformed logistics of rape-births ("legitimistics"?): how he got this far along the path to political viability is inconceivable.

Dudleydidwrong August 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

One might wish that Akin himself had been "inconceivable."

Gleem McShineys August 20, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Unfortunately the body politic of Missouri hasn't got the same kind of female powers to shut that whole thing down.

proudgrampa August 20, 2012 at 2:31 pm

"Forcible rape" is kinda redundant.

Well, these two can start a new talk show: Huckabee and Fuckabee.

dittoBot3000 August 20, 2012 at 2:31 pm

"…people and that life are teremendously valuable." Except for the muslins. They're a dime a dozen. And the gays – God isn't turned on by gay butt sechs. And Messicans – their God is plastic and lives on dashboards.

MissTaken August 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm

rape
1    [reyp] Show IPA noun, verb, raped, rap·ing.
noun
1. the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.
2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.

Fuck this 'forcible' shit. Rape is rape you fucking piece of ignorant shit my parent's dog pooped out his butt yesterday.

And what the fuck does rape have to do with 9/11 first responders? First responders help people regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, etc. If I told a first responder I was raped, they would not ask "was it forcible, or did you just not quite want it but when along anyways?" and then determine how to help me. They would fucking help me because that's what they do, 'forcible' or not. Fucking asshole.

Sacanagem August 20, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Are you trying to tell me your dog didn't poop today??

(point taken on everything else)

kingofmeh August 20, 2012 at 5:10 pm

the dictionary definition of rape is different from the legal definition. a legal definition would be something along the lines of penetration of another person's vagina (often other types of rape, such as anal rape, are described in another statute) without the consent of that person. otherwise, doping a woman up on GHB and having sex with an unconscious woman wouldn't count as rape.

the key question is the lack of consent, not whether it's accomplished by force, duress, or other means.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Lack of consent. Thank you.

Fare la Volpe August 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm

They by their lives speak as Americans of what we think about the value of human beings and how much respect we hold people with and also people who’ve been victimized, how we hurt with them and try to care for them and try to love them.

But seriously, fuck them skanks.

anniegetyerfun August 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I've read and re-read that passage and for the life of me, cannot figure out what is being said.

PsycWench August 20, 2012 at 2:55 pm

I recognize that passage, along with most of Sarah Palin's interview with Katic Couric, as "Word salad that is the result of being asked a question and having no fucking idea what the answer should be". aka "essay bullshit".

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 3:21 pm

That's because you are not a Republican……

Calapine August 20, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I think he means valuing life and empathy has nothing to do with being a well adjusted human, but is an exclusive trait of RealAmericans™

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm

*raising hand*

Editrix? Is "skullfucking" considered legitimate rape?

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Somebody is looking for his spanking…

SayItWithWookies August 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm

"And for my next trick, I will compare raising the minimum wage to sending Jews to Auschwitz."

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm

If I knew you was raisin, I would have baked a kike?

FlownOver August 20, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Well, this IS the guy who compared student loans to Stage 3 cancer.

Joshua Norton August 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm

(Why “forcible rape” changes the nature of the vagina, I do not know, but I am sadly not the expert that a sitting Congressman is.)

Probably has something to do with the "bad sperm" acting suspicious and wearing hoodies.

Dudleydidwrong August 20, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Bad sperm carry Skittles.

MosesInvests August 20, 2012 at 5:01 pm

And motherf*cking iced tea.

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Uncircumcised penis LIBEL!

actor212 August 21, 2012 at 9:12 am

HEY!

Oh, wait.

Carry on. Nevermind. I forgot she distributed the pictures in a fit of rage.

glasspusher August 21, 2012 at 10:47 pm

I really think she got your good side.

VA_Dreaming August 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Perhaps the vagina has some vigilante white blood cells that "defend themselves" and kill "bad sperm"

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Stand Your Womb?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Can the women here help me out so I can make sure about my weekend plans. As long as I buy some flowers, light some candles, and am tender, then rape is OK?

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 2:53 pm

If you promise to only put it in once, and then take it right back out, you stand a better chance.

fuflans August 20, 2012 at 3:15 pm

that's ROMANTIC rape.

whole different kettle of fish so to speak.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 5:27 pm

You know, the problem with most rapist is that they don't take the time to be romantic. I think we can all agree with that.

emmelemm August 20, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Depends. What's on the stereo?

MosesInvests August 20, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Ravel's "Bolero".

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I was assuming the Rev. Al Green, so that it would be all right with religious types.

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 3:28 pm

NO! HELL NO! AND IF YOU TRY IT, I HOPE SHE KICKS YOU IN THE PEEN REALLY HARD AND YOU SPEND THE WEEKEND IN THE HOSPITAL.

Too harsh????

Calapine August 20, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Depends. Are you black?

Eve8Apples August 20, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Representative Akin is the expert on legitimate rape. You should pay him a visit. Tell him you are there for some legitimate rape "how to" advice. Bring your flowers, some lighted candles and a big vibrator. Promise him you will be tender and whisper sweet nothings in his ear.

Callyson August 20, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I *really* hope that pro – choice activists take this moment as a chance, finally, to remove the veneer of the supposed "moral high ground" that the anti choice crowd (I refuse to call them pro life since they don't give a fuck about the babies once they are born.) High time we stopped allowing their side to claim that they are caring, loving people who just want to save the children.

Sometimes, having an abortion *is* the morally right thing to do–let's own that. No more "well, no one really wants an abortion" or "no one is really pro – abortion" rhetoric–if I ever get pregnant as a result of rape, I sure as hell am pro – abortion and I'm not apologizing for that for any reason…

anniegetyerfun August 20, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I struggle to apply morals to abortion at all. I see no difference, morally, between a woman who would carry a rape pregnancy to term and a woman who would abort right away. It's her uterus, her choice, no one else's.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 3:12 pm

And can we please apply the "No uterus? Then you don't get to have an opinion about abortion" rule?

MosesInvests August 20, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I've said this before and I'll say it again-my father wouldn't have been born (and by extension, I wouldn't have been born) if my grandmother hadn't terminated her first pregnancy that was threatening her health. Abortion needs to be SAFE and LEGAL. Period.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 1:16 pm

That's the part these maroons just don't seem to get. A woman who already has young children at home might wish to terminate an unwanted pregnancy because it threatens her life and she has OTHER children to care for. Or a woman might be carrying a life-threatening pregnancy and MUST terminate it if she is to go on to have the family she and her partner desire. They don't give a shit about the woman who might die, or any other children she might have who might NEED her to survive, or her partner or family who will be affected by her death or disability. To them, these women are just cunts with legs. Reproductive vessels, with no humanity whatsoever that should be considered.

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Nor should you have to. No woman should ever be forced to have a child against her will. There are enough unwanted children in state orphanages, institutions and foster care that the "system" could care less about. Children should be wanted and loved.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 20, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Pro rape babies?

fatbob54 August 20, 2012 at 2:35 pm

"Angry white Teabaggers should be seen (not really) and definitely not heard."
They should be herded into FEMA re-eductation camps (to be fair, we should drop the re in re-education) where they will be taught to love gun control, Allah and gay marriage while being guarded by messican illegals because the blahs are too lazy to take the guard jerbs.

ph7 August 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm

What is an unforced rape, exactly?

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 2:40 pm

In these misogynist cretins' world, it's one where the victim didn't fight back hard enough, therefore she must have deserved it.

ph7 August 20, 2012 at 2:43 pm

I get it now – if you didn't Stand Yer Ground, you weren't raped.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Yep. For example, if a woman gets drunk and is later raped, well then it was her own fault for getting drunk; she was just asking for it, like she was wearing a short skirt.

These people piss me off so fucking much.

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 3:14 pm

It's in the same school of thought as the "She just won't shut up" wife/girlfriend/ beating excuse.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 5:39 pm

It's like an unforced error in tennis, but with more rape.

proudgrampa August 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Why in hell was Claire McCaskill losing to this butthole???

CrunchyKnee August 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Have you ever been to Missouri?

proudgrampa August 20, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I was born there, actually. Guess I didn't realize what a right-wing swamp it's become.

I have already re-registered my birthplace to Tralfamador.

FlownOver August 20, 2012 at 11:17 pm

So it goes.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Geezus, it's fuckin' Missouri! Even now, MOST Republicans in MO are happy with this schmuck and DON'T want him to step down. There must not be a whole lot of women in that state. Either that or they're all chained up in the kitchen.

TheInternet August 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm

So his defense is that he meant to say "forcible" rape, but said "legitimate" rape instead…?

"Hey, whoa, let's not take this out of context. I didn't mean to shoot your mom. I was aiming for your DAD. Let's not play gotcha here."

Dildeaux August 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm

The odious comments of a man soon to be unemployed. Dead man walking.

The dumb fuck hit the trifecta this weekend saying the Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act should be overturned.

akin holds the identical views on womens health as ryan.

fartknocker August 20, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Sans the cowboy boots, big hair and a ranch named Ni**erhed, it appears Missouri has there own version of Rick Perry and Clayton "Just Lay Back and Enjoy It" Williams.

Angry_Marmot August 20, 2012 at 2:41 pm

It's time for legitimate Americans to stand up from their wheelchairs, drape a flag across their shoulder and rush into a burning vagina.

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I have that dream all the time.

Dashboard Buddha August 20, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Looking at the Cornswalled articles, if the woman didn't come, she can't get pregnant. If that's the case, do either Cornswallow or Aiken Rapey Heart have children? cuz I'm guessing neither of these two have the means of pleasing a woman.

MissTaken August 20, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Most women do not orgasm from vaginal intercourse, it usually requires some form of clitoral stimulation. Pregnancy occurs in the uterus after the penis ejaculates into the vagina, not in/on the clitoris. Therefore most pregnancies do not need female orgasm to be achieved or else most of us would not be alive right now.

Science is hard.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Clitoris? Women's orgasms? Silly, women aren't supposed to experience sexual pleasure; that's for men, the women are just supposed to pleasure their man and passively take his seed.

Also too lesbians don't exist.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 20, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Safe sex 69.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Todd Akin has six children.

Dashboard Buddha August 21, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Ok…that's at least six times. Or maybe he has a really busy milkman.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 6:25 pm

I'm favouring the milkman, dude. Teh laydeez, they has teh strongly developed sense of aesthetic and won't sleep with ugly guys (or dirty, farty, rumpled, unshaven, etc. guys), and have you SEEN the mug on that mofo? Curdle milk at 200 paces IN THE COW.

Nice to see you DbB. If'n I don't see you again soon, here's a hug.

Blunderthing August 20, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Scramble, scramble, scramble, listen to me ramble. I'm an idiot with shit for brains. I shoot my foot off when I explains.

ahnc August 20, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Akin is Akin to Keeping Women Barefoot and Preggers in the Kitchen. Rape optional.

CrunchyKnee August 20, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Everyone knows that a woman can't get pregnant w/o wine coolers and a tent.

LibertyLover August 20, 2012 at 2:44 pm

So women's bodies are now wheelchairs and the Republicans are Firemen rushing in to save unborn fetuses by inserting trans-vaginal probes into women's vaginas and things of that nature?

What if the fetus decides to stand it's ground?

DahBoner August 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Today's GOP: "Mistakes were made…"

Are these bumbling Assclowns really ready to run America into the ground, like Dubya did?

I mean, they're so stupid and incompetant, what if they actually accidentally do something to HELP the average American?

Their KKKock Brother Rapist Masters will be displeased!

Ben Cisco August 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

He better watch himself invoking 9/11 like that – Ghouliani will sue his ass.

Poindexter718 August 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Muthafekker!
I knew a guy who was in there. Watched the N tower fall before my eyes from my office window. Saw a Nymex floor trader trudging north in a daze, his funny trading jacket covered in dust. Lived with the acrid stench of death hanging over my city for three weeks. I am so fekking sick of these hayseed fecks telling the rest of us what Sept 11 was all about.

Limeylizzie August 20, 2012 at 4:45 pm

No kidding, I was in NYC then and it was fucking dreadful, that smell, that no-one talks about, of burned flesh and then of decay haunts me.It sickens me to hear these morons "claim"' it, they hate everything that the city is and stands for, the gays, the blacks, the Jews, the ladies, the diversity all of it. I was in the first show that opened on Broadway after 9/11 and we would take our flowers, that we received every night, and give them to the firemen on 8th Avenue who had lost most of their company, it was the saddest, saddest time.So don't use it as some prop for your vile, misogynistic, ignorant comments. You cunt, Akin.

sewollef August 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm

"And so, on the other hand, there are certain basic principles that we believe in, and that I’m just completely committed to, and that is the fact that people and that life are teremendously valuable. That’s what’s made America such unique country… [...] I remember September 11th, the rescue workers running into the buildings that’s about to collapse, grab somebody in a wheelchair, pick em up – they don’t check their IDs to see whether they’re important or not – they just take them to safety and run back for more."

Got that now? So please shut the fuck up you lot and leave a man in peace.

TootsStansbury August 20, 2012 at 2:55 pm

I am so sick of these nutballs

Guppy August 20, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I remember September 11th, the rescue workers running into the buildings that’s about to collapse, grab somebody in a wheelchair, pick em up – they don’t check their IDs to see whether they’re important or not

No, ID is checked and insurance information is collected when they get to the emergency room.

BlueStateLibel August 20, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I like how he says rescue workers didn't "check the IDs" of people trapped in the Towers to see if they were "important" before rescuing them. No such thought or idea would ever enter the head of a normal person, the idea is so horrible, and yet this sociopath can't help himself. The more he talks, the more you see what a sicko he is.

Pat_Pending August 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm

In the spirit of 'Make the Pie Higher', it is time for another volume of Republican 'found poetry':

our Creator. We’re made in his image
They by their lives speak as Americans
collapse, grab somebody in a wheelchair
that’s why I’m apologizing for what I did wrong

Chichikovovich August 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm

It took me some time, but I think I've figured out what he's saying. In essence:

"Yes, I believe some disgusting things about rape victims. But it's just because I believe that my crusade to ban the morning after pill is morally equivalent to the actions of first responders saving 9/11 victims. You shouldn't ask a cluster of less than a hundred cells for ID before forcing a woman to carry it to term. Understand my noble motives, people."

I can't say that this defence makes him any less of a terrifying fanatic than before, though.

It makes him substantially more of a terrifying fanatic, in fact.

fawkedifiknow August 20, 2012 at 3:13 pm

I, for one, am personally indebted to Mr. Akin for clarifying that what's at risk right now in this country is that fire fighters won't be going in to rescue people from fires if women start having babies after being raped. i know that I'm not gonna do it, that's for sure.

USA.USA.USA!! JESUS JESUS JESUS!!!

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 3:16 pm

How do we know whether it's "forcible rape" "legitimate rape", "pseudo-rape", "faux-rape", "mock-rape", "play-rape" or "rape-rape"? In the Fog Of Rape, all kinds of things can happen.

Pat_Pending August 20, 2012 at 4:29 pm

And then there's broccoli rape and rape seed oil. What having I been committing in the kitchen????!!!!1!

anniegetyerfun August 20, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Heh. Even Republicans want him to step down now.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/aug/20/akin-

FlownOver August 20, 2012 at 11:20 pm

NOOOOO! He's McCaskill's last best hope!

Eve8Apples August 20, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Akin spoke of "legitimate rape," so I think you will need a notary stamp, or someone to serve papers or maybe a court reporter to administer an oath.

barto August 20, 2012 at 3:17 pm

"they don’t check their IDs to see whether they’re important or not"

Careful, Todd, you're stepping on some voter-fraud talking points here…

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 3:18 pm

We should give Atkins a Golden Coat-Hanger award.

fuflans August 20, 2012 at 3:19 pm

i heard the immediate but tepid response (don't besmirch me bro!) from the wonder twins this AM.

apparently they 'disagree' with todd.

like it's a movie review.

miss_grundy August 20, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I hope the "wonder twins" have their asses handed to them in November.

AtwatersGhost August 20, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I think he meant to say 'rap'.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Todd and Mike went on to discuss the varying merits of Rap-Rape, Country Rape, Hard Rape, Adult Contemporary Rape, Ambient Rape and House Rape.

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Did they not talk about Indie Rape because it was pretentious?

mrblifil August 20, 2012 at 3:31 pm

So wait rape victims are now the pilots of the hijacked planes, threatening the babies with flaming towering infernos of death by Planned Parenthood? HE GOT MY VOTE!!1!!1

Eve8Apples August 20, 2012 at 3:39 pm

If we outlaw legitimate rape, only outlaws would be legitimate rapists.

thurufally August 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Oh, well, hell, since you put it that way, I understand completely.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Huckabee then strapped on his Fender Bass while Akin assayed the old Johnnie Taylor R&B hit, "Who's Forcin' Rape With Your Old Lady While You Were Out Forcin' Rape?"

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I was Forcin', now she be Divorcin'…

smitallica August 20, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Dear Mr. Akin:
You may believe life "comes from our creator," and that's your religious opinion with absolutely no proof. But I know for a FACT that life most definitely comes from sperm meeting an egg, and rape-sperm is just as pregnancy-causing as romantic consensual sex-sperm, because that's a fucking scientific fact and I'm not a fucking moron.

thurufally August 20, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Okay, so the next time I get ass-raped in prison, my bowels will immediately shut down until I give it up consensually. Or am I assuming too much?

randcoolcatdaddy August 20, 2012 at 3:51 pm

In case of Republican emergency, break glass and scream "9/11!!!" loudly.

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Mr. Akin:

May the Force Rape be with you.

pdiddycornchips August 20, 2012 at 3:52 pm

" And that’s the very special thing about our country. That’s what we have at risk right now."

Yes, unless we elect ignorant, bible thumpin' tree stumps like Mr. Akin. we're doomed!!!

Toomush_Infer August 20, 2012 at 3:53 pm

My hearing must be going… I had to listen to (4:11) three times before I realized he wasn't saying " there are so many good people in Missouri who dominated me…."….for a moment there, I thought I knew where he was coming from….

VA_Dreaming August 20, 2012 at 3:54 pm

And once again he completely ignores the woman who was raped. Should she have to spend the next nine months carrying this fetus, having to deal with people's judgments (well meaning and not), possibly dying in childbirth, then having to deal either raising or giving away a baby that is half hers and half a rapists. I just cannot accept the idea of giving a mass of cells that cannot live independently more consideration than the independent women who thinks and feels and has already been victimized once.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 20, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Jesus Fuckwit Mclaskatwunt, that is some word salad topped with some Vagina Gold. Seriously, Chuck Grassley sounds perfectly loquacious compared to this twit.

ahnc August 20, 2012 at 4:08 pm

I did not burn my bra 40+ years ago for the 2012 Republican Vocabulary Adjustment Department to call rape anything but rape.
I'm donning an extra bra or two.
And a chastity belt.

docterry6973 August 20, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Oh, so it is FORCIBLE rape that cannot impregnate a woman. And 9/11 too, also. Thanks for clearing that up Mr. Senator-To-Be.

Hammiepants August 20, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Werdz how du they werk agin???

Comrade Wingtardd August 20, 2012 at 4:42 pm

I want to know what sort of rape that Huckabee Xmas card was … forcible eye rape? It was our faultz, I'd bet … what it the Huckabee dog's fault that their fat son legitimately raped, stoned and beat it to death?

BZ1 August 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm

again, when you're in a hole, stop digging

Warco3 August 20, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Even if this idiot drops out of the race, the damage has already been done. Good game, repukes!

Troglodeity August 20, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Most pathetic use of 9/11 by the GOP maybe this whole month.

And I love it when the GOP uses 9/11as if it was some sort of glorous fucking triumph on their part. Remember 8/6/11: Bush gets the briefing paper "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S." outlining possible imminent hijackings. His response: Nada. Zip. Zilch. It was like "non-forcible rape" to him (whatever the fuck that is).

MilwaukeeKent August 20, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Seems to me it doesn't take much to hang Clod Akin around Paul Ryan's neck and keep him there for the remainder of the campaign. "You're the co-sponsor of the Akin-Ryan Bill — do you share Mr. Akin's opinions?"

Fox E. Puppet August 20, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Akin's too scared to show up for his CNN interview: http://goo.gl/uqlQ4

Piers Morgan calls him a "gutless little twerp".

Negropolis August 21, 2012 at 1:32 am

My god, they have perfected the word salad.

gurukalehuru August 21, 2012 at 6:48 am

"I remember 9/11….," like anybody is supposed to be impressed by that.

Stevola August 21, 2012 at 8:14 am

"From the Philadelphia Inquirer, 1988:
The odds that a woman who is raped will get pregnant are "one in millions and millions and millions," said state Rep. Stephen Freind, R-Delaware County, the Legislature's leading abortion foe.
The reason, Freind said, is that the traumatic experience of rape causes a woman to "secrete a certain secretion" that tends to kill sperm.
Two Philadelphia doctors specializing in human reproduction characterized Freind's contention as scientifically baseless."

Same old shit. Nearly a quarter century later and it's still their go-to argument.

MittBorg August 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Oh, man. It's like Science never happened for these maroons. Don't they teach them basic fucking biology in school no MOAR?

ttommyunger August 21, 2012 at 9:47 am

Two Dumb Cunts discussing something neither of them know anything about: Vaginas.

Pennywhistler August 20, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Do you mean "Not Responsible"?

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Don't take off you shoes!

Pennywhistler August 20, 2012 at 10:46 pm

So what's your point?

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Finally, something worthwhile about LinkedIn?

Pennywhistler August 20, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Oh.

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