WONKETTE SPORTS DESK  1:30 pm August 20, 2012

Civil Rights: Warlord Condi Rice & Some Plutocrat Finance Lady Allowed To Join Fancy Golf Club

by Jim Newell

Heroes of our timesAhh, so now we know why lying war monster Condolleezza Rice was going around giving wingnut speeches about socialism and such-like. It wasn’t about getting on the presidential ticket — who even wants that? — it was about becoming the first female member of August National golf club, a goal that she attained today. She, along with Darla Moore, an insanely rich finance lady, can now navigate the lush fairways of America’s finest golf course at their leisure without a male Fortune 500 CEO escorting them. Now it’s just the other 99.9% of us schmucks who will never be able to play this course once in our lifetimes. Hooray!

From the New York Times:

Rice, 57, served as national security adviser and secretary of state under President George W. Bush. She is currently a professor at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University, where she has also been provost. Rice was long considered a likely candidate for Augusta National membership if it became open to women.

“I have visited Augusta National on several occasions and look forward to playing golf, renewing friendships and forming new ones through this very special opportunity,” Rice said in a statement released by the club. “I have long admired the important role Augusta National has played in the traditions and history of golf. I also have an immense respect for the Masters Tournament and its commitment to grow the game of golf, particularly with youth, here in the United States and throughout the world.”

Moore, 58, is vice president of Rainwater, Inc., a private investment company founded by her husband, Richard Rainwater. She rose to success in the banking, becoming the highest paid woman in the industry and the first women to be on the cover of Fortune Magazine The University of South Carolina business school is named after her.

Which ladies got snubbed in the inaugural inductions? We can think of at least one…

[NYT]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 125 comments }

ChernobylSoup August 20, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Somebody has to make the sandwiches.

YouBetcha August 20, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I thought only lesbians played golf?

Calapine August 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I see what you did there….

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I thought only men played golf and women who wanted to be men?

Oh. Wait…

Beowoof August 20, 2012 at 1:57 pm

My significant other has some splaining to do.

ChernobylSoup August 20, 2012 at 1:34 pm

"Do we really want to wait until the evidence is a full-fledged gopher attack?"

eggsacklywright August 20, 2012 at 1:52 pm

No one could have imagined…..

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm

That was a full-fledged, 7-second laugher. Fortunately my office door was closed.

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 9:34 pm

You, sir, are as big a hitter as The Llama.

nounverb911 August 20, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Wasn't Darla one of the "Little Rascals"?

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Moore or less, yes

Mahousu August 20, 2012 at 1:35 pm

So, out of Callista and Newt, who trades in who (for a younger and/or richer model) first?

Veritas78 August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

My money's on Miss Botox. She knows what his prospects are, how much money he no longer has in the bank, and that he's probably already on the prowl (but with far worse chances this time).

That lonely book-signing should have been the big hint.

CthuNHu August 20, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Callista could find a younger and richer model at the Porridge Acres Bingo Hall & Food Pantry.

freakishlywrong August 20, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Augusta sounds like a hellish nutscape. Let Liz Cheney in and that's a fucking foursome from hell.

Veritas78 August 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Ginny Thomas is probably calling them around the clock for an application. "I promise I won't bring my husband!"

MissTaken August 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I golfed this weekend at a public course in Oakland while chugging Coors Light (it was the only cold beer the beer lady had!) and nearly rolling our cart off a cliff. I'm just like Condi.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Poor you, having to drink Coors Light; even PBR is tastier than that.

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 1:43 pm

You're blah?????

Veritas78 August 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Ah, but do you play the piano in a competent but brittle, soulless, and robotic style? And do you similarly ice-skate?

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 9:47 pm

What, you were near my place and didn't visit?

IndianaKevin August 21, 2012 at 8:16 am

Braggin' or complainin'?

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Nancy Lopez should have been a no brainer but how could they pass on a black republican war criminal.

kittensdontlie August 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

And she is like an Oreo, white on the inside.

Schmannnity August 20, 2012 at 1:55 pm

A Latina? Really?

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 2:00 pm

You know I'm just thinking "what female golfer probably would win at least one green jacket if they let them play for it" and the answer is invariably Nancy Lopez, and probably Annika Sorenstram but I'm not sure if she's retired or not.

BerkeleyBear August 20, 2012 at 3:45 pm

I'd put Annika (who is retired) on the shortlist of women who could win a PGA event, but a Masters would probably be beyond even her. I bet Birdie Kim could get hot and win a US Open on the right kind of course, though.

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Well I mean a competition amongst women at Augusta, not necessarily a mixed tourney.

lulzmonger August 20, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Hey! Condi!
Kissinger body-count envy much?

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Gentleman
Only
Ladies
Forbidden.

Now go and make me a sandwich.

Fox E. Puppet August 20, 2012 at 1:38 pm

She joined August National? Is that like the laydeez version of the Augusta National?

Jus_Wonderin August 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Shhhhhh. Condi thinks this is a big deal, but they fooled her.

FlownOver August 21, 2012 at 1:17 am

One twelfth of a real member. Not even three-fifths.

Fox n Fiends August 20, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Ah yes, enjoy your golf, dear lady who thought "Bin Laden Determined to Attack the US" was a silly little metaphor.

MissTaken August 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Poor "Cally", she just got herself a shiny new golf bracelet and now has nowhere to wear it.

kittensdontlie August 20, 2012 at 2:05 pm

She looks like a light swinger, and would be more at home at the exclusive Sea of Tranquility low-gravity lunar course.

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Now watch this drive…

sharethegrief August 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm

If she's ever in the bathroom holding a towel, she'll get tipped.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Why? Are they gonna make her use the Gents?

eggsacklywright August 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Only for washing balls.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 20, 2012 at 2:15 pm

That's not the tip, that's the whole thing.

SayItWithWookies August 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

What — Callista doesn't have enough bloated, overvalued, tradition-obsessed white male relics in her life?

SigDeFlyinMonky August 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

One, they want to birdie on the holes, they don't want holes on the birdies. Actually they needed a piano player for the clubhouse and a chance to make cover girl-bathwater-rainwater jokes in the lockers.

PuckStopsHere August 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I'm sure that the righting of this sexist wrong will go a long way towards easing the pain of the families of those who died and were maimed in Iraq due to Condi's lies, so we can all take comfort in that.

paulabflat August 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

and think of the jobs it will create.

we can all rest easier now.

EatsBabyDingos August 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Callista doesn't get to #augusta; she just gets to #newt. Eww.

RadioBowels August 20, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I hear AugustA Cuntry Club is very nice.

Goonemeritus August 20, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Pianist, knowledgeable about football, career in academia, helped sell an unnecessary war resulting in hundreds of thousands of deaths and she plays golf. Is there nothing this Renaissance woman can’t do?

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Get that chalkboard squeak out of her voice? I know- I don't ask for much…

MissTaken August 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Read and act appropriately on daily briefs titled "Bin Laden Determined To Strike In US"?

Geminisunmars August 20, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Get married?

CindynEncinitas August 20, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Obviously, she's still into W dick and nothing else will do.

PubOption August 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Admitting two women, on the same day, WW(H)JD?*

*What would Hootie Johnson do?

slowhansolo August 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Buff that with a fine chamois…

schvitzatura August 20, 2012 at 2:50 pm

PORTERHOUSE LIBEL!

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Condi already did her part for 2012 in allowing Romney to pretend to consider her for VP to try and cover himself and claim there's no way he can be racist or sexist; some of his best possible VP choices are black women.

Fox E. Puppet August 20, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Darla Moore is Nikki Haley's BFF. Not! http://goo.gl/0C4KG

fuflans August 20, 2012 at 2:20 pm

wow that's gross.

FlownOver August 21, 2012 at 1:22 am

What – making us read Kathleen Gagging Parker? Yup, gross.

Mumbletypeg August 20, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Good news for wonk-reject Megs McCain!

Mahousu August 20, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Moore, 58, is vice president of Rainwater, Inc., a private investment company founded by her husband, Richard Rainwater. She rose to success in the banking

No doubt she "rose to success" in her husband's company purely on her own merits.

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Honestly it seems like she did, actually. Don't hate the woman for playing the game men have played for generations.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 20, 2012 at 10:26 pm

The long game?.

metamarcisf August 20, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Somebody has to wash the balls

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Condi's more a "munch the carpet" kind, tho.

viennawoods13 August 20, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Munch the putting green?

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Nothing like nomming grass

BZ1 August 20, 2012 at 1:48 pm

considering her past inclination to violence, I wouldn't want Condi near a club, oh, not that one, never mind …

Fare la Volpe August 20, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Well at least the Jews still can't play.

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Thank goodness for small miracles.

Callyson August 20, 2012 at 1:48 pm

She is currently a professor at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University

Because screwing up our foreign policy as Sec of State after teaching political science wasn't enough? What's next, creating a new American Depression as Sec of Commerce?

Estproph August 20, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Stanford, really? I would have guessed University of Phoenix.

GeorgiaBurning August 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Part of the Herbert Hoover legacy

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 1:49 pm

But what is this going to do to "Use Your Penis as a Putter" Wednesdays?

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 1:50 pm

She'll play mini-golf?

CthuNHu August 20, 2012 at 2:58 pm

She'll just have to sit in the bar with George Will, drowning their bitter shame in Maker's Mark.

proudgrampa August 20, 2012 at 1:50 pm

This fucking sleazeball who, with George W. Bush, is responsible for thousands upon thousands of deaths of innocent people, is a total war whore.

Burn in hell, Condo. And I hope you never, ever make par!

There, I showed her!!!

IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 1:50 pm

There's always the Trump 'National' Golf Course on the ocean in Los Angeles (well, really it's in Palos Verdes Estates). The 18-holes will cost you a sweet $275.So all the elite golf assholes can put around in your little weiner-mobiles on the West Coast too.

(Not our Wonketter's who only play on Municipal courses with the other Plebs.)

Self-Uploader August 20, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I guess they chose Condi a kind of a three-for.

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 1:52 pm

So, Darla Moore's think tank webpage is hosted by tripod.

PsycWench August 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Golf is still the most boring game on the planet, though.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 2:08 pm

What about bowling?

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Bowling is positively thrill-a-minute next to crown green bowls.

nobodyssweetheart August 20, 2012 at 3:33 pm

With bowling you get nachos.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 20, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Agreed, although I still like disk golf. Maybe because the rules stipulate you must be in an alternate state of mind to play.

glasspusher August 20, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Well, hey, that's disk golf. Much more fun for me because my course was on a college campus with plenty of…distractions.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 20, 2012 at 10:34 pm
IonaTrailer August 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

"For my full take on golf, I refer you elsewhere in the book, but let it just be said golf is a game that might possibly be fun, if it could be played alone. But it's the vacuous, striving, superficial, male-bonding joiners one has to associate with that makes it such a repulsive pastime. And it is decidedly not a sport. Period. "
George Carlin, RIP

actor212 August 20, 2012 at 1:58 pm

No one ever got pregnant from legitimate putts.

MissTaken August 20, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Now they can shout "WHORE!" off the tee and mean it.

marconidarwin August 20, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Outrageous! Having Condi in there is clearly reverse racism!

Why is the liberal establishment of golf so virulently opposed to the Palins? Both Alaska Palin and Minnesota Palin deserve to be among the geezers, each wielding a deadly weapon in their hands.

Come here a minute August 20, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Next up: the priesthood!

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Episcopalian libel!

pinkocommi August 20, 2012 at 2:00 pm

To paraphrase Groucho Marx, I refuse to join any club that would have Condi or this Darla person as a member.

fuflans August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

you took the words right out of my keyboard pinko.

proudgrampa August 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Yeah, I just replied to my invitation from Augusta. I said, "No way! Not unless you invite Hillary Clinton and Rachel Maddow for a balanced membership."

RedneckMuslin August 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Condi's a bigot? A war criminal I would believe. But bigot?

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I can't wait to see Condi's thigh-high soft spikes.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I honestly don't understand the attraction of places like Augusta. You get the honor of paying massive annual fees to join a club whose other members are racists, sexists, or even just run of the mill dusty old bastards. Is smug self satisfaction worth all that money?

CthuNHu August 20, 2012 at 3:03 pm

In fairness, Congress also has great gyms and an excellent health plan.

HistoriCat August 20, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Is smug self satisfaction worth all that money?

You People just don't get it.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 3:21 pm

True. I'd rather spend the membership dues on food and utilities. If I were rich, I'd spend it on a vacation, buy art, or donate heavily to charity. All three probably.

Comrade Snowball August 20, 2012 at 6:02 pm

They don't allow joos. That's the attraction.

Fare la Volpe August 20, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Agreed, but have you played Curling lately?

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Now watch this drive!

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Welcome to the 20th Century, Augusta National!

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 20, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Now they will have to limit the totally-not-gay blowjobs to the privacy of the men's locker room.

joobajooba August 20, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Golf spikes could take her dominatrix boots to a whole new level of fetish.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 20, 2012 at 10:40 pm

If she went to Augusta in full GWAR mode, it would bring credibility. spiky boots, big head, and the blood of thousands spraying the crowd.

ahnc August 20, 2012 at 2:15 pm

There, done. Quota met for this century.

barto August 20, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Yes, Callista, but are you willing to shed your last iota of human decency and respectability just to be able to swat a tiny white ball on this particular gold course? Dumb question, of course you are!

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 2:40 pm

You've gotta suck a lot of weapons of mass destruction to get into that club!

mavenmaven August 20, 2012 at 2:41 pm

We should have had that whole crew retired, playing golf back in 2000 and there would have been a lot less suffering in the world today.

stopthemovie August 20, 2012 at 2:45 pm

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat them over the head with it.

James Michael Curley August 20, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Wait until she ruins a few greens with her thigh high, black leather, spiked heel boots then we'll see what privileges she has.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Is her husband George already a member?

thurufally August 20, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Da Plane! Da Plane!

nobodyssweetheart August 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm

At least we now have a definitive ruling on how many dead Iraqis = a penis

johnnyzhivago August 20, 2012 at 3:57 pm

This would have been a good gig for Megan McCain, don't you think?

DahBoner August 20, 2012 at 4:09 pm

What?

The Vice President of Stanford's Sanitation Engineering position was filled already???

Schmegeg August 20, 2012 at 4:09 pm

She better watch out, there will be plenty of legitimate rape in that clubhouse.

MinAgain August 20, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Wait until they tell her that she's there to carry that Moore woman's golf bag.

VinnyThePooh August 20, 2012 at 8:37 pm

"Porter."
"Yessir, Judge."
"There's a brown woman parked in the parking lot. Get security over here and have her hauled away immediately."

ttommyunger August 21, 2012 at 9:49 am

Golfers!

Weenus299 August 21, 2012 at 10:20 am

It's the beginning of Augusta National Socialism. One day we will all fear the Green Jackets.

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