DAILY BEAST ON SUCH A ROLL THIS WEEK  12:54 pm August 20, 2012

Meghan McCain Fired From Being Wonkette GOP Gal Pal Bestie

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

BF Not FAll those years of hair-braiding and pillow fights. All those thousands of reader comments devoted to saying really terribly offensive shit about your rack. We loved you long time, Megs McCabe, but sometimes the things that fall out of your typey fingers are just too much to bear. You wanna side with Sarah Palin on someone else’s skull being a cauldron of brain-poop? And that person is our Old Handsome Joe? Sorry, Megs, but cue Donald Trump: YOU ARE NO LONGER EMPLOYED.

Let us examine what you dictated to Siri for your Daily Beast Dear Diary, which is Just Cause for your termination:

If Democrats want to win in November, all they have to do is one simple thing: replace Joe Biden with Hillary Clinton for vice president.

This is a pretty popular sentiment—it seems like the only thing Republicans and Democrats can agree on. It’s something that people have been saying to me everywhere from cocktail parties to airports since President Obama has been elected to office. Many politicians and pundits have reiterated that statement publicly. Sarah Palin recently went on Fox News and said the same thing: if President Obama wants a sure fire way of getting reelected this election cycle, Hillary would give him “a darn good chance of winning.”

But of course, the White House is pushing back, saying that Republicans are merely “trying to distract attention” by suggesting Hillary is a better fit for Obama. Yes, that must be it! Republicans are the ones doing the distracting, not the gaffe-prone vice president, whose own staff is reportedly trying to “save Biden from himself.”

Oooh, oooh! We read that Politico story! And the story intimated fairly clearly that Biden’s staff was sort of idiotic to do so — a cluck of scared hens keeping Biden from being his Teh Awesome Best self — and that they were in fact playing against their own interests. Maybe you just skimmed it?

Anyway, it is terribly churlish of Obama to reject these helpful suggestions from his opponents! And how correct you are that everyone, including all Democrats (or all Democrats who are Jon Stewart maybe?) is soooo embarrassed by Joe Biden, who said “chains,” which outrage was not in the least manufactured by desperate Romney campaigners being desperate, desperately. What else you got, Meghan?

Aside from the likability factor, I can criticize Hillary’s politics all day long, but I never question her intelligence. I have never doubted that she is a strong, capable, smart leader. The same cannot be said for Vice President Biden.

The woman whose main claim to a pundit gig is that her father foisted Sarah Palin on an unsuspecting nation thinks Joe Biden is stupid. She doubts his intelligence.

It is going to take a hell of a muffin basket to win our friendship back after this one, Megs McCabe. :(

[DailyBeast]

 

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{ 256 comments }

ChernobylSoup August 20, 2012 at 12:56 pm

The size and scope of the fuck I do not give about Meghan McCain is epic.

Native_of_SL_UT August 20, 2012 at 1:22 pm

There are only two things I care about with Meg. The rest, meh.

cheetojeebus August 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Right there at the top, COD. Well done.

FreckleRaiser August 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm

They're pretty worried about the next election. Or they are afraid of what the administration will use Joe to "accidentally" say next.

Barb_ August 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm

"muffin basket?" Is that an euphemism for something or is it actually festive buttery baked goods?

nounverb911 August 20, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Welcome back, are you Canadian now?

Barb_ August 20, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Noun! No, I am not a Canadian yet. The more I read about Canada the more I have a deep respect for the country and the Canadian people.

Good to see ya!

Callyson August 20, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Good morning…and now I crave a festive buttery baked good!

Barb_ August 20, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Callyson! I overslept in a big way and I can't jolt myself fully awake just yet.

Callyson August 20, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Coffee…lots of coffee…balanced out with cold water. Works for me. (Alternates sips of coffee and water…)

freakishlywrong August 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm

But NOT a "sticky treat".

Misty Malarky August 20, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Can I pay for a muffin basket with food stamps?

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Morning, and it's great to see you again!

Barb_ August 20, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Morning Soros! I am here to start MissTaken's birthday tomorrow early. We need cake!

It's always great to see you.

fartknocker August 20, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Nice to see you back Barb. If I make the cake, I can fill it with lots of dark chocolate and Mrs. Fatknocker makes a wonderful chocolate ganache.

Barb_ August 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm

So good to see you Fartknocker. I think we need ice cream with the cake.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:08 pm

"Mrs. Fatknocker makes a wonderful chocolate ganache."

Megan IS Mrs. Fatknockers; that's the only reason we pay any attention to her.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Sadly it's still a couple weeks until we'll be together in person again; then we can really celebrate her birthday. That and she gets to meet my parents.

Barb_ August 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Soros, I know you miss her. It will just make it that much sweeter when you get to see her.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I'm hoping it's the festive buttery baked goods. I've no interest in any other muffins Meghan might be offering.

She's a truly stupid person with a profound lack of self awareness.

Isyaignert August 20, 2012 at 1:48 pm

"She's a truly stupid person with a profound lack of self awareness" applies to 100% of Republicons.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Yes. Megs buys all her undergarments at Victoria's Boulangerie. (Nice to see ya, how's that pinky hangin'?)

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Je croix que c'est La Patisserie de Victoria, parce-qu'ils vendant les muffins.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Oui, c'est mieux! Mon Francais c'est comme un bebe, parce-que j'etait un etudiant dans le systeme Americain.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Mais "lingerie"/"langerie" a un bon son, n'est-ce pas?

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Oui, c'ést vrai, ils sont les mots qui vont très bien ensemble (très bien ensemble). Mais, les jeux de mots bilingues sont difficiles.

Barb_ August 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm

The pinkie hangs well, my friend.

bobbert August 21, 2012 at 1:09 am

Are you returned, or is this but an ether(net)eal visitation?

bumfug August 20, 2012 at 12:58 pm

But you do, however, still have an awesome rack.

Goonemeritus August 20, 2012 at 12:59 pm

When will Wonkette’s war on women end, especially the zaftig ones?

GhostBuggy August 20, 2012 at 1:02 pm

When they greet us as liberators and give up that sweet, sweet crude.

YouBetcha August 20, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I'd hit that. I just wouldn't want her to talk. Someone lend me a muzzle?

SpeedoFart August 20, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Is "muffin basket" a euphemism for something?

SpeedoFart August 20, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Damn, should've refreshed! It's nice to know I wasn't the only one with that reaction, though.

(Is it uncouth to reply to my own post?)

iburl August 20, 2012 at 1:14 pm

SpeedoFart is worried about being uncouth.

SpeedoFart August 20, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Don't be hatin'.

Chow Yun Flat August 20, 2012 at 12:59 pm

It is going to take a hell of a muffin basket to win our friendship back

If you would settle for a muffin top it will be easy for Megs.

Pithaughn August 20, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Help me out here, is this a legitimate termination or illegitimate ?

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Boy this is the most obvious way to point out the right wing echo chamber.

1) create (an imagined) controversy
2) put on fox news and AM talk radio
3) ??????
4) profit

Callyson August 20, 2012 at 1:06 pm

3) Successfully create a distraction from actual issues (Mittens' taxes. Ryan's plan to destroy Medicare) by getting people to chatter about invented issues instead.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I don't think it's working too well, if you need to enlist Megs in the campaign.

Butch_Wagstaff August 20, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Or Sarah Palin.

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Is there anything anyone can say about Meg's looks without being terribly offensive?

How about "Hngnnngngghhhhnnnggg"?

ElPinche August 20, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Motorboat.

kittensdontlie August 20, 2012 at 1:30 pm

When she turns her head to the side, just a certain way, her auditory canal is exposed, and what appears to be a black light strobe and a mirrored disco ball can be seen inside her brain cavity. Other than that, what is there to say…

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Anyone smarter than Megs is too smart to fall for me.

Pennywhistler August 20, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Then Meg asks: "How do you spell that?"

Incitefully_Joe August 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm

It seems like the only thing Republicans and Democrats can agree on

What Democrats?

No, really, what Democrats, where? Can somebody name one?

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:03 pm

The ones who have cocktails with Megs McCabe, of course!

Welcome to The Village, my friend.

Incitefully_Joe August 20, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Are they related to the Bain investor who tells Harry Reid things?

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:10 pm

It would be irresponsible not to speculate they're the same person.

Incitefully_Joe August 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Did they go to the University of Um, Somewhere with that Seven Foot Doctor and Some Lady who gives Michele Bachmann medical facts too? I'm going to guess so.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:11 pm

I suspect that there's a Bain investor who tells Mittens things.
Bad things.
Very, very bad and sinful things.
"Fire them! Fire them ALL, Willard! Then have a cup of coffee, moohahaha!"

Terry August 20, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Formerly Wonkette's own, Alex Pareene, although I'm hoping it's satire and I just missed it: http://www.salon.com/2012/08/20/get_ready_for_vic

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 1:33 pm

How could you think this isn't satire?

Terry August 20, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I'm just back from two weeks of peaceful vacation. My gears aren't yet fully engaged.

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Especially with the links

Schmannnity August 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Show us yer tits and we'll think about forgiving you.

PubOption August 20, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Pennywhistler August 20, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Everything is better in Italy.

horsedreamer_1 August 20, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Saw her naked, while pregnant, on SuicideGirls, back in '03.

It was glorious.

DemmeFatale August 20, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Well, SOME will forgive you.
And by SOME, I mean horny dudes who have never even kissed a girl.

Angry_Marmot August 20, 2012 at 8:15 pm

We won't actually forgive her, we just want to see her tits.

comrad_darkness August 20, 2012 at 1:01 pm

That dusty playbook against the Clintons isn't going to run itself you know.

Chow Yun Flat August 20, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I have never doubted that she is a strong, capable, smart leader. The same cannot be said for Vice President Biden.

Since Megs doubted Joe's ability to lead the President should dump him. OK, got it.

OneYieldRegular August 20, 2012 at 3:25 pm

That statement tells me everything I ever need to know about Meghan McCain.

Eve8Apples August 20, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Pussy Riot/Muffin Basket 2012!

Calapine August 20, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I watched a full speech of him recently and he comes across as very authentic and knowledgeable.

A President Biden would be nothing to be afraid of.

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Old Handsome Joe is at least seven shades of awesome, which is why deserate Romneyites are desperately attempting a whispering campaign to have him replaced, out of desperation.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Well, he might replace the presidential limo with an El Camino or a Firebird. That could be either scary or awesome, depending on how you choose to look at it.

Isyaignert August 20, 2012 at 1:52 pm

OT, but I just learned the glass in presidental limo is 24 layers of 1/4" glass = 6 inches thick. The chasis is actually from a one ton truck. Each president gets a new one and the old one is destroyed to keep its technology secret.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Holy moley. It's a wonder that thing doesn't sink into the asphalt on a hot day.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 2:06 pm
Fox n Fiends August 20, 2012 at 1:02 pm

"I can criticize Hillary’s politics all day long, but that would take effort and my maid can't type that much."

Butch_Wagstaff August 20, 2012 at 4:55 pm

"And Consuela mostly speaks that Mexican talk."

Estproph August 20, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I never understood why so many otherwise reasonable people thought Meghan McCain was anything but a repub, because she is clearly a repub. Eventually she was going to cross over the line into siding with the repubs. The fact that on some issues she comes off as reasonable ins't proof that she's reasonable – even Joe McCarthy loved his mother, after all.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 1:31 pm

She's not smart enough to figure out that the only Republicans who like her are her parents.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Basically, she's liberal on social issues, but still conservative on any issue that might affect her inheritance. And she's not into the insane conspiracy-mongering birtherism and the like, which is sadly rare in today's Republican party.

Estproph August 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm

That is I think part of her attraction: because she stands up to crazystupid racists, she comes off as sane, and since sanity is at an all-time low, people make the assumption that she is actually liberal (and sometimes even a democrat) – which she is not.

horsedreamer_1 August 20, 2012 at 7:41 pm

She should ne voting for Gary Johnson come November, then. But she won't be.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Nobody thought that.

Estproph August 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I've seen too many comments from too many people on too many boards that do think just that.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Who? Liberals? Wingnuts? I wouldn't expect that a thinking liberal would think Megs isn't a Republican just because she has nice things to say about some social issues and decries some of the batshit. That is not enough to make you "not a Republican." Wingnuts, on the other hand, are stupid enough to believe anyone who makes sense even once is a "RINO."

Until she goes as far as Ron Reagan, she is clearly a Republican.

deanbooth August 20, 2012 at 4:19 pm

She's a Republican like a 10-year-old is a Catholic.

Baconzgood August 20, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I was at the airport 2 days ago and EVERYONE was talking about replacing Biden.

horsedreamer_1 August 20, 2012 at 7:42 pm

I give you ten Friedman units.

YouBetcha August 20, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Dumb broad says what?

Incitefully_Joe August 20, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Well, it's not as though I loved her for her mind, anyways.

PuckStopsHere August 20, 2012 at 1:04 pm

This from a woman who we can see in the picture is apparently unaware that one does not wear ones dress and high-heeled shoes to bed…

Geminisunmars August 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Crap. Another thing I've been doing wrong.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:13 pm

…unless the client specifically requests that she do so.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 1:05 pm

At all the cocktail parties I go to, I keep hearing about how Paul Ryan is demanding the gaff prone Mitt Romney to step down and let him be the presidential candidate with his gay lover.

Why won't Romney listen to this advice and save his party? Why won't Megs write about this?

Living in Joy August 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I heard the same thing from my brother-in-law who says he heard it while standing in line at a Chik-Fil-A. I don't know why Megs just doesn't come clean and call for Ryan to be placed at the top of the ticket. Everyone is saying it – even her Daddy.

Jukesgrrl August 20, 2012 at 10:22 pm

It's all over Arizona.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 1:06 pm

You know, if only Obama would take all his advice from Republicans, I'm sure they would embrace his presidency and support him.

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Why, does that only work in the second term?

Geminisunmars August 20, 2012 at 1:36 pm

It's not as if he hasn't tried this.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 20, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Yes, but surely this time the Republicans mean it.

Geminisunmars August 20, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Well, they are a sincere and well-meaning lot. So what the hay.

viennawoods13 August 20, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Yep, Dems, take the advice of Republicans about replacing Joe with Hilary, because obviously they want to give you a better shot at winning in November- good sports that they are in the GOP.

Chichikovovich August 20, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Ah, memories. Back when Hillary was fighting out the primary with Obama, I remember a flood of stories about how Hillary had won the respect of her Senate Republican colleagues with her businesslike approach. I saw pictures of the photo-op big, high-profile rapprochement with Richard Mellon Scaife, paleoconservative megarich guy who bankrolled the "Arkansas project" digging up dirt on the Clintons. Scaife was just completely won over by Hillary's awesomeness. And tabarnak, even Karl Rove [I witnessed this myself!] on Fox went on and on about what a superb candidate Hillary would be and how if she were nominated the Democrats would have it in the bag, etc. And there was so much more of that, from all sorts of raving wingnut loons.

It's nice to see, in this cynical day and age, people transcending partisanship to just give honest and open expressions of respect.

And I had thought that they had entire libraries full of opposition research and already-storyboarded commercials ready to sink a Hillary campaign like a stone. I suppose I was wrong. I guess – unlike Erin Burnett – I'm just not able to take a risk to trust. [And I grew up in a small town, too. Go figure.]

kittensdontlie August 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm

So they can dredge up HillaryCare and LewinskyGate, distracting the public from the IRScamgate of our Lord-in-Waiting Romney of Mittens.

MLHencken August 20, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Muffin Basket = how Megs refers to her underwears?

Dr. Nick Riviera August 20, 2012 at 1:07 pm

I have never understood the fascination with this woman. I remember Maddow having her on to discuss tax policy and Megs rolling over and baring her throat with a "Tee hee! I don't really know much about that!". But then when she went on some other show where they were more inclined to shut up and let the celebrity speak she spent the whole time trashing Obama's tax policy.

Billmatic August 20, 2012 at 1:30 pm

The whole fascination with her is that she's a zaftig bombshell.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Can I still think Megs is cute and one of the few Republicans who I think I could actually have a pleasant conversation with?

Geminisunmars August 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Absolutely not! You must march with all the Wonketeers, on this and every other topic.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Since I don't think either of those things, I can safely say that she is now caking makeup on the party line like a trollop.

fuflans August 20, 2012 at 1:52 pm

yes but you can't look at her boobs while having this pleasant conversation.

SayItWithWookies August 20, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I'll push for Joe Biden to be replaced when he says we'll be welcomed as liberators about a country we're about to invade for no reason. Or chooses to say nothing about gay marriage because it would be politically inconvenient. Or shoots a guy in the face. But chains? Yeah, fucking chains. He's right about that one.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I don't recall Joe Biden insisting that waterboarding isn't torture, either.

SayItWithWookies August 20, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Or pushing massive no-bid contracts to a company he's getting deferred payments from. Or insisting that capturing or killing Osama bin Laden isn't a big deal and then saying it was a no-brainer when somebody else does it. Or outing one of our own intelligence operatives solely for revenge against her husband. Why the fuck isn't this guy in jail already?

Terry August 20, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Well, his heart was removed from his chest but he just keeps on living. Jail ain't nothing to the undead.

redarmyzombie August 20, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Speaking of hearts, is it wrong of me to want to perform an Aztec ceremony on the guy?

Incitefully_Joe August 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Also too, refusing to comply with Executive Orders because the Vice President is now part of the Legislative branch, I just decided.

Geminisunmars August 20, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Yeah, what is the big fucking deal, anyway?

joshleefolsom August 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I'll say he's right. George Will said the minimum wage should be zero, and if that isn't support for slavery I don't know what is. But every time somebody makes a truthfully blunt assertion like that they turn around and take it back, like Maher with the cowards lobbing bombs and gutsy hijackers, etc. Might suck, but still true.

viennawoods13 August 20, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Side note (not boob). What is it with these female pundits going for the glamour shots? Really? Because they def. want to be taken seriously as deep thinkers? It's not working, ladies.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:15 pm

"Because they def. want to be taken seriously as deep thinkers?"

No, because they're attention whores.
Believe me, if the males could get more attention by showing a little…
neck, if you know what I mean…
they'd do it in a heartbeat.

Jukesgrrl August 20, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Someone told Beck he looked sexy with his blackboard so he's been tied to it ever since.

Come here a minute August 20, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Thank you for your advice, we're so glad you're concerned about President Obama's re-election chances. Next will you please tell us that you've heard it from your best Democratic sources that the only thing better than dumping Vice President Biden for Secretary of State Clinton would be to dump Vice President Biden for former half-term Governor Palin. Thanks again. Goodbye.

ManchuCandidate August 20, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Who wants to take advice from a Concern Troll?

Estproph August 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Dingdingding!

Blueb4sinrise August 20, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Megs, if you need a hug, meet me at that motel in Eloy.

Jus_Wonderin August 20, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Eloy? Is that a new thong fabric?

Blueb4sinrise August 20, 2012 at 2:02 pm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Eloy.jpg

Actually still have a soft spot for Eloy from long ago when the car's water pump blew-up and I coasted into Eloy. Shop just off the highway had me with a re-built one back on the highway in about an hour and a half. Notalotta $$$ either.

Jukesgrrl August 20, 2012 at 10:37 pm

I feel the same way about Tutumcari, New Mexico. While I was waiting for my notalotta $$$ repair, the nice lady in the repair shop office told me her young daughter hated her name Katrina ever since the hurricane. I think about that kid from time to time.

Shypixel August 20, 2012 at 1:11 pm

I'd still do her. Dove "Real Beauty" figure and all…

Hell maybe I could hump the conservatard out of her…

Shypixel August 20, 2012 at 1:25 pm

I just realized that the second part of this comment is probably the most sexist thing I have ever said in a public forum…

Am I a Republican mole, and just don't know it?

Geminisunmars August 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

It is okay to be sexist if you know you are being sexist.

horsedreamer_1 August 20, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Fuck the stain away.

BZ1 August 20, 2012 at 1:11 pm

This is what they are going with to distract from the "show me the money" issue?

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:15 pm

To be fair, Megs could've been a good distraction, but they shouldn't have let her say anything.

Beowoof August 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I can never really hear or see anything Meghan does, because I am focused on her rack.

MissTaken August 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Sorry Megs, but I live by the 'always do and think the exact opposite of Sarah Palin'. That you agreed with the TundraTwat gives me a sad.

not that Dewey August 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Cocktail parties AND airports? That covers just about every place I can imagine.

Geminisunmars August 20, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Serious discussion in those places is more important than in quiet rooms.

Bezoar August 20, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Who the fuck would you talk about this with in an airport who you weren't already accompanied by? She's making that up!

not that Dewey August 20, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Bartender? Baggage handler? Custodian?

"Hey, random Delta employee. Don't you think NOBAMA should dump Joe Biden and take on that woman who hired Mark Penn as her campaign advisor? When has Mark Penn ever been wrong about anything?"

x111e7thst August 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm

If Megs dictates a column and not a a single fuck is given does anyone care?

RadioBowels August 20, 2012 at 1:12 pm

If Republicans want to win in November, all they have to do is one simple thing: replace Paul Ryan with Sarah Palin for vice president.

NYNYNYjr August 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm

or Replace Romney with a handsome begonia.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Or, hey! Replace Romney with Palin!
(moohahaha)

NYNYNYjr August 20, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Replace Romney with Palin and replace Ryan with a pack of arctic wolves.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 5:01 pm

A pack of Arctic wolves would be more compassionate than ryan, and probably easier to train.

Chichikovovich August 20, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Sarah! can shoot all but one from a helicopter, and the crafty survivor will become her VP pick.

ttommyunger August 20, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Did they fire her tits, too? 'Cause that's the best part of Megs.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 1:15 pm

When I think of either Clinton, I just hope that their self-interest aligns with the best interests of the country.

Somehow, I don't worry about that hidden agenda with Handsome Joe Biden…

ChernobylSoup August 20, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Nailed it.

freakishlywrong August 20, 2012 at 1:15 pm

All these huge Hillary fans in the GOP! Wait till she runs in 2016. Rethugligan amnesia will rear it's head again!

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I doubt their memory will last a day past November 6th.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Well of course they love Hillary Clinton, and aren't just pretending to do so in order to try and create strife among Democrats; I mean it's not like they spent years demonizing her and making shit up like calling her a lesbian and claiming that she had murdered a good friend who committed suicide, who they also claimed was her lover even as they continued with the lesbian thing, or anything.

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Not to mention all those repugnant slurs they like totally didn't heap upon her daughter.

MissTaken August 20, 2012 at 1:29 pm

And they totally didn't have bumper stickers in the 90's saying "Impeach Clinton, And Her Husband, Too!". No sirree, they did not.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Nor did they spend much of the 2007/2008 campaign demonizing her again, then to suddenly switch and start acting like they liked her when it became clear Obama would be the nominee. Nope, not at all.

Geminisunmars August 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Yeah, I don't remember any of that, either.

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 12:09 am

And don't forget, her chocolate chip cookies had poison in them.

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I just hope that if she sends real muffins (not the euphemism kind), that they don't come from that crummy bakery that dissed Handsome Joe.

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:20 pm

That would be the wrong interpretation of "One hell of a", although I could see the source of the confusion there.

Biff August 20, 2012 at 1:26 pm

She should send them to Mittens. HE knows from baked goods, right?

foxypuppet August 20, 2012 at 1:34 pm

He knows they're the gateway drugs to coffee…

Dashboard Buddha August 20, 2012 at 1:19 pm

If Republicans in general and $arah Palin in particular are saying this, it's a pretty good bet that they don't have the democratic party in their best interest. Besides, Barry has two solid people on his side that can help him win in November…Romney and Ryan.

Isyaignert August 20, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Rmoney/Munster – Egads, my neighbor just put up a sign for those twin twats and it's making my eyes hurt. I'm so tempted to make it have an accident, but the Karma gods are keeping me from doing that. I'll just get a couple of Obama signs instead.

emmelemm August 20, 2012 at 3:12 pm

In Seattle??!

Tequila Mockingbird August 20, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I’ve said this many times before: I don’t know why anyone, on either side of the aisle, gives a fuck about Meghan McCain. She is quite possibly too dumb to get a job on Fox, and she can’t write for shit. She's basically Courtney Stodden in a grey blazer.

widestanceromance August 20, 2012 at 1:27 pm

There are only two reasons to even give a thought to her: the left one and the right one.

horsedreamer_1 August 20, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Her ovaries? Cause, if I got her pregnant, the palimony would set me up for life.

lunchbox360 August 20, 2012 at 2:18 pm

And I love how she says every sentence with an upward inflection like she is asking a question. And how every third word is "like". What the fuck are you 12?

gurukalehuru August 21, 2012 at 7:11 am

Well, sort of a chubby Courtney Stoddard.

johnnyzhivago August 20, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I'd rather hear what Snooki has to say about politics. And I really DON'T want to hear what Snooki has to say about anything.

nowave August 20, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Meghan McCain: a little less than tits, a little more than stupid.

James Michael Curley August 20, 2012 at 1:22 pm

I'm estimating that Megs has 'a hell of a muffin' top. But I DID NOT ask anyone to prove it.

Biff August 20, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Oh, Megs McCabe. Too bad I can't unfriendster her, but I never much liked her anyway.
Yeah, I said it.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Now Meghan McCain is saying it! Is any further confirmation even necessary?!

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Yes.

Mittens Howell, III August 20, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I need to confirm that rack.

NellCote71 August 20, 2012 at 1:25 pm

I really do appreciate the GOP being concerned about how important it is to carefully pick a VP. I do not know how we have gotten this far without their invaluable advice.

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 12:11 am

Yeah, they have such a great track record themselves.

pinkocommi August 20, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I feel like the Republitards are just picking on Handsome Joe for not being part of their 1%.

nowave August 20, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Marijuana McCain.

Isyaignert August 20, 2012 at 2:01 pm

If anyone needs to spark up a fattie – it's her and her uptight dad.

lunchbox360 August 20, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Are you insinuating that we set her on fire? Cause I'm totally down with it.

Isyaignert August 20, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Hahaha!! Good one!! I totally set myself up for that!

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I thought nowave was implying that Megs is a DOPE, but he didn't want to be too BLUNT about it.

DahBoner August 20, 2012 at 4:43 pm

She just needs to DRY OUT a little first, too wet to burn with all that Gin soaking her…

DaSandman August 20, 2012 at 1:26 pm

It would help me move on from this terrible experience if I could just play with those right wing titties for awhile. Maybe slap an OBAMA 2012 sticker on them. How come conservatives don't care about my needs?

Exhausted66 August 20, 2012 at 1:28 pm

"The woman whose main claim to a pundit gig is that _______"

I think you ended this sentence incorrectly. Handsome Joe would agree that the reason might be her big fucking deals.

SorosBot August 20, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Now she's at least as qualified to be a pundit as Luke Russert.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Oh, you heard about them too!

ahnc August 20, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Meh-gan, no more motorboards from Wonkette.

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:30 pm

From now on in, only waterboats.

pdiddycornchips August 20, 2012 at 1:33 pm

"Democrats (or all Democrats who are Jon Stewart maybe?) is soooo embarrassed by Joe Biden, who said “chains,” which outrage was not in the least manufactured by desperate Romney campaigners being desperate, desperately. "

The "chains" outrage makes no sense to me. Who's supposed to be outraged? Black people?
Don't think so. Republicans are working feverishly to suppress black voter turnout and they expect us to freak about the use of the word "chains"?

Is it white southerners who are supposed to outraged for Handsome Joe co-opting their dog whistles?

Is it Wall Street? Are they outraged because Barry hasn't been as nice to them as Republicans even though they've managed to thrive during his time in office? Fact is, under a real progressive president, most of them would be either in jail or unemployed.

Any of my fellow wonketters speak wingnut?

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 2:28 pm

You're absolutely right. They won't spell their logic out because a) they didn't think it through, and were only trying to win a couple of news/fundraising cycles, and b) they don't want to engage on their party's hostility to black voters because then they'd be churning out even more gaffes. However, they are so busy high-fiving each other in public on their voter-suppression that they have no choice but to go all-in with their explicit Racism. So Joe wins.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Well, "chains" by itself they might have overlooked, but coming less than a week after Joe saying the word "father"?
This outrage will not stand.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:26 pm

My best guess?
The manufactured outrage du jour over Biden speaking the word "chains" is supposed to convince people that Democrats are the REAL racists.

Tundra Grifter August 20, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Everybody she meets in airports and cocktail parties? Translated, "I just made this shit up." Along with the phony agreement crap.

Reminds me of the late, great George Burns: "Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."

Chichikovovich August 20, 2012 at 1:38 pm

So Megan McCain was, until recently, your BFF? And come on, admit it, will be again soon? That reminds me…..

The French satirical weekly to which I'm addicted, Le Canard Enchaîné, has a recurring comic strip about "Les Boeufs", with one kind of central figure and then a bunch of his friends. I puzzled for awhile about what the heck that title was getting at, but then I recognized that it was a kind of bilingual text-age pun. The French "Boeufs" is a rough phonetic approximation of how a francophone would attempt to pronounce "BFFs", an acronym that has crossed the Atlantic. Literally, "Le Boeuf" means "the beef", or more aptly in this case "the steer" or "the oxen".

I just thought you all would find this interesting. Why it happened to come to mind in this post in particular, I can't figure out at all.

Isyaignert August 20, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I "heart" France and swear I was a Frenchwoman in a past life. I'm going there for the fourth time next fall – if the world doesn't end on my birthday like everyone's expecting.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Wait… Is that duck enchanted, or chained?

Mon francais est mal, et mechant, et malade, et mauvais.

Chichikovovich August 20, 2012 at 5:21 pm

It means "the chained-up duck"or (perhaps closer to the intended meaning) "the enslaved duck". Long story, the short form of which is that in 1915, when the parody newspaper was founded, there had been a newspaper called "L'homme Libre" ("The Free Man"). Hence: "The Enslaved Duck".

(Apparently there were some additional jokes bound up with the title that turned on slang uses of "canard", that have passed from common use. Not sure what the additional overtones were.)

—-
Edit: Just did some reading around, and sad to say, my conjecture about Boeufs Beaufs** – though Fields-medal calibre brilliant – was 100% wrong. "Beauf" is the cartoonist's coinage, short for "Beau – frère" i.e. "brother-in-law".

**(Sigh – my mind substituted a spelling that made sense to me. Bad mind! Bad!)

Nostrildamus August 21, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Why it happened to come to mind in this post in particular, I can't figure out at all.

With Megs, the question "où est le boeuf?" is always paramount.

Jus_Wonderin August 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm

MOTORBOAT!!!!

slowhansolo August 20, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Honestly, I think tits makes a great point here, and we probably shouldn't be so tits as to completely tits a reasonable tits just because it came from tits.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Since when are the McCain women besties with Sarah Palin??

sullivanst August 20, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Since hell froze over due to the total lack of global warming.

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 12:15 am

Since Sarah could see them from her house (in Scottsdale)?

Designer_Rants August 20, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Beccs! I love it when Donald Trump says "YOU ARE NO LONGER EMPLOYED." Never gets old.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:28 pm

"I HAVE INFORMED YOU THUSLY" — Sheldon Cooper

Designer_Rants August 20, 2012 at 7:51 pm

"OH DARN" ~Homer Simpson

OneYieldRegular August 20, 2012 at 1:53 pm

As the old adage says, people who live in nine houses should not throw senseless drivel.

Isyaignert August 20, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Oh, it's nine houses is it? I will never forget when Grampy McInsane was asked how many houses he had and replied, "I don't know, one of my people will get back to you on that." That had to be THE most eletist damn thing he could have said.

I'm sure after that major league flub Rmoney is making sure he knows how many houses he has just in case he's asked the same "gotcha question" by the liburrrral media.

Jerri August 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Well the McCains are pretty astute when it comes to choosing VP candidates.

proudgrampa August 20, 2012 at 1:54 pm

What, Rebecca? Does this mean I shouldn't fantasize about Meghan's casabas anymore?

I would have a sad.

bobbert August 20, 2012 at 1:55 pm

BALLZ!!

No, wait, that's not right …

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Buttsechs!

No, that's not quite it, either…

ibwilliamsi August 20, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I do not know a single Democrat who wants to be rid of Biden. We LOVE Biden! Megan, on the other hand, we're not that thrilled about.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Well, I'm hearing at all the cocktail parties that she is fucking Luke Russert, and frankly, doesn't this make too much sense to not be true?

lunchbox360 August 20, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I don't hear her denying it!

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 12:17 am

And we know HE won't.

Generation[redacted] August 20, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Boobies.

Sharkey August 20, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Dear John, oops I mean Meghan,

There is not enough space between us. Go fuck somebody else!

-Wonkette

Sharkey August 20, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Also too, why have there been no tweets from Migraine Mommy about this?

fuflans August 20, 2012 at 2:07 pm

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA

joe biden had 36 years in the senate, chaired judiciary, chaired foreign relations, negotiated with actual russians you can't see from your house over SALT II, chaired the bork and thomas hearings and spearheaded the Violence Against Women Act.

but!! juggs mccain and snowbilliy grifter say he is stupid.

Designer_Rants August 20, 2012 at 7:58 pm

That was a pretty much perfect rebuttal to Megs McMoron's… thing.

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 12:18 am

I think that would fit on a billboard. Go for it. And make sure Uncle Joe can see it from the train.

Neoyorquino August 20, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Meg's boobs, we hardly knew ye.

BeefHardcake August 20, 2012 at 2:10 pm

If nothing else, I gotta hand it to her — she did a great job of parlaying a total lack of talent (combined with great family connections and a really, really recognizable last name) into a decent level of semi-fame. She's not hard to look at, but she's not nearly as smart or erudite as you can tell she really, really wants to be. She'd be a lot better if she, y'know, did some research every once in a while.

elgin_pelican August 20, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Barry's already wearing Mom jeans per Mitten's instructions, so this should work out fine.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Yes, but "Look at that ass!" means something entirely different when you're looking at Barry in Mom jeans than it does when you're looking at Mitt in Mom jeans.

Warco3 August 20, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Nothing but a desperate attempt by the repukes to distract from the political nightmare that is Paul Ryan. Biden is going to tear his ass UP in the debate!

BoroPrimorac August 20, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Joe is going to whoop his ass and send him to his room.

NYNYNYjr August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Blonde heiress and scion that she is, I like her anyway. But Meg- they offered Hilary the VP job, she wants the one she has now, it has more influence in the world, she does it well. So, I mean, she's doing what she wants.

DemmeFatale August 20, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Bumper sticker idea #151

"Crocodile Tears for Hillary!"

barto August 20, 2012 at 3:23 pm

"Trying to distract attention" sounds more like a Meghan-lieteracy-level grammatical construction, not something that would come from the White House. Amirite, Megs?

rickmaci August 20, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Until there is a sex tape involved, I can not think of any reason to waste time considering anything that comes out of Megan McCain's mouth.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:05 pm

"If Democrats want to win in November, all they have to do is one simple thing: replace Joe Biden with Hillary Clinton for vice president.

This is a pretty popular sentiment—it seems like the only thing Republicans and Democrats can agree on. It’s something that people have been saying to me everywhere from cocktail parties to airports since President Obama has been elected to office. "

I've never heard anybody say this.
Maybe I need to get out more.

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 12:23 am

I've never heard it either and I live in Arizona where I'm surrounded by Republicans and I personally know all the Democrats.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:07 pm

"It is going to take a hell of a muffin basket to win our friendship back after this one, Megs McCabe"

Which, ironically, she'll have no trouble purchasing at the Farmer's Market.

Mittens Howell, III August 20, 2012 at 4:13 pm

This is a pretty popular sentiment—it seems like the only thing Republicans and Democrats can agree on masturbate over.

tessiee August 20, 2012 at 4:20 pm

"Sarah Palin recently went on Fox News and said the same thing: if President Obama wants a sure fire way of getting reelected this election cycle, Hillary would give him “a darn good chance of winning.”

Uh, right, because, by gosh and by darn, who's to know better what goes into winning the vice Presidency?

*falls on floor laughing and pounding fists a la "You want it when?"*

dcjdjay August 20, 2012 at 4:25 pm

I bet that this titmonster bimbette can't discuss anything about Hillary's politics without sounding like an ignoramus. In fact, I doubt if she knows a damned thing about Hillary's politics. And, no, titmonster, your dad's drooly rants at the dinner table over scoops of applesauce DO NOT count as valid information.

valthemus August 20, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Why do people keep referring to Biden's comment as a "gaffe"? I've been saying for years that, if the Republican leadership had it's wicked way, they'd be able to shackle and sell non-pale people as slaves just like the ol' boys of the confederacy always wanted. This is a surprise to anyone?

Jukesgrrl August 21, 2012 at 12:26 am

Have you noticed how Biden's comments are never "gaffes" to the people he is addressing at the time?

DahBoner August 20, 2012 at 4:41 pm

So, how did that Rush Limpballs calling out for all his listeners to go out and vote for Hillary in the primary thingie back in 2008 work out for you?

Not so good? Then STFU…

elgin_pelican August 20, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Malibu Stacy says what?

Butch_Wagstaff August 20, 2012 at 5:02 pm

"This is a pretty popular sentiment—it seems like the only thing Republicans and Democrats can agree on. It’s something that people have been saying to me everywhere from cocktail parties to airports since President Obama has been elected to office."

Funny how no one brought it up in the media until last week…

VirtualDespot August 20, 2012 at 5:56 pm

When the ice caps have all melted and the entire globe is covered in water her talents are going to come in very handy.

Right now, meh – not so much.

BarackMyWorld August 20, 2012 at 6:38 pm

The weirdest part of this wave of pro-Hillary hype is the knowledge that had Mrs. Clinton won the 2008 election, she'd have faced opposition similar to what the current president does (just substitute "secret Muslim" with "radical feminist" and "socialist" with "socialist"), and everyone would be clamoring about what a terrible disappointment she is as the first female president.

lulzmonger August 20, 2012 at 7:05 pm

McWho?

rocktonsam August 20, 2012 at 8:20 pm

because of the size of her tits, Megs just raised the unemployment rate to 8.4%

clblabin August 20, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Perhaps this will teach Wonkette the same lesson I learned from bitter experience years ago: no more Republican girlfriends.

Halloween Jack August 21, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I want my ring back.

fitley August 23, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Megs is so upset she's texting her best friend who IS NOT a sticky bun like "you people" would suggest.It is also not true that Meghan sweats when she swims. Eww that would be gross.

Terry August 20, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Yeah, but I did essentially that in a Volkswagen Dasher loaded down with suitcases and household items, so I wasn't all that impressed.

Chet Kincaid_ August 20, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Quel frottage! Uh, attendez…

SayItWithWookies August 20, 2012 at 9:54 pm

You'd be asking for trouble — giving the Sun God that seared little raisin for an offering would only make him mad.

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