WHO WOULD JESUS KICK?  4:30 pm August 18, 2012

Kick A Poor With ‘Forbes On Fox’!

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

This is odd: in a four-minute segment on our hero baker lady who simply does not care to sell her sticky treats to those gross food stamp families, fully two separate people bring up the Civil Rights Act and how shop owners may not discriminate against entire classes of people! Huh. Weird. But never fear, others step into the breach to remind us that shop owners have a right of association (as, of course, does the farmer’s market that wanted the baker lady to participate in their EBT-accepting token system in the first place), and that sometimes people on welfare buy cigarettes and tattoos, and that states are looking into that … somehow. (Obviously, Poors are not buying tattoos or cigarettes with their food stamps, but somehow the state will ensure that they never use Money to purchase legal products that the state finds gauche.) Anyway, the whole thing ends as it should, with some man person intoning, “What a shame that we’ve erased ‘shame’ from society. Why can’t we make someone embarrassed for living off others?”

Why can’t we indeed! When your Editrix’s older sister was home raising two small twinlets, say around 2008-2009, said sister’s husband was laid off from his job selling construction equipment. Luckily, they got an absolutely princely amount (seriously, it was a very nice amount) of EBT (food stamp) benefits each month, in addition to cheese, milk and eggs from the Women Infants and Children dairy-supplements program. If you wanted an omelette, you went to our sister’s! (But don’t worry, they are white.) And every time our sister went to the store and swiped her EBT card, the cashiers would snort and sigh and frown and grumble and really carry on. Did our sister feel the shame those cashiers intended? Yes she did, so thanks, ladies! But that shame was not going to open up any construction-equipment-selling jobs any faster. (The only cashiers who were unfailingly pleasant were those at Trader Joe’s, as they were too busy earning a living wage and listening to awesome music all day while they worked to be cunty to poor people.)

Are poor people gross sometimes? Sure! Do they sometimes make bad decisions? Certainly! Do we all make bad decisions, except some of us have a buffer that will keep things from devolving too quickly? We do! Look at Donald Trump, for example. He once claimed to be poorer than the poorest homeless person on the street, because of how he owed $8 bazillion in one of his many (many) bankruptcies. We found that statement to be … inelegant, as his extreme poverty wasn’t stopping him from sleeping in a princess bed and dining off golden plate.

But sure, let us all shame people on food stamps; they can just go out and get one of the jobs the GOP keeps blaming Obama for the nonexistence of.

Anyway, here’s the awesome kicker to our tale: our sister’s husband — who is a wonderful brother-in-law, and loves our sister very much — is a Fox-watchin’ Romney man through and through, and thinks we should cut welfare, because of course he does.


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ahnc August 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm

If you like to kick a dog when it's down, you might be a Republican.

memzilla August 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

My idiot millionaire brother-in-law — who believes every word that spews from Faux News like it was The Gospel; and who (of course) believes that Teh Poorz are suckling off the gummint tit for no good purpose; and who also (of course) believes that if you're rich it's because you deserve to be rich, and if you're poor you deserve to be poor — had no compunctions against arranging to get his mother full benefits from the Medicare/Medicaid system.

Redgyal August 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Easy explanation…..they don't see that as wrong because they believe that they are the only ones paying taxes and thus things like Medicare, welfare, etc. are theirs by right.

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Yes, & this is despite the fact that they will spend hours & hours thinking up schemes to avoid paying a dime more in taxes than absolutely required…

ahnc August 18, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Republican teat logic: Do as I say, not as I suck

second_gen August 18, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Right there with ya. My teabagger brother in law lives in a Habitat for Humanity home, has 3 children on government assistance, and it trying to use the HAMP program to fix his mortgage, that was a Habitat-interest-free till he remortgaged it. He loves to talk about everyone else's need to exercise personal responsibility

He even has a van with NOBAMA! and all other manner of filth painted on it. LOL Right above the "GM" badge, a bumper sticker that says "I refuse to buy Union Made!"

Jukesgrrl August 19, 2012 at 1:44 am

If I believed in god, I would believe there is a special hell for these people.

MissNancyPriss August 19, 2012 at 3:03 am

I think you may need to build a tumblr site around your brother in law. I am fascinated and need to know more.

Boojum August 19, 2012 at 8:22 am

I just found out that my neighbor is a birther. What do you do with that?

viennawoods13 August 19, 2012 at 9:12 am

Well, obviously, there goes the neighbourhood.

JustPixelz August 19, 2012 at 10:10 am

It would be nice to have a snappy retort that would work. "There's more proof of Obama's birth in Hawaii than there is that tax cuts create jobs." Or, "too bad the facts are against you".

But it's willful ignorance. Like the meme that "Obama goes around the world apologizing for America". The Google can't find where he said anything like that anywhere. I call this the "one minute debunk". Something that would be outrageous if it were true. But one minute with google shows it's not true.

zippy_w_pinhead August 18, 2012 at 5:18 pm

kick them, strap them to the roof of your car, it's all the same to them…

ahnc August 18, 2012 at 5:32 pm

then neuter them and take away their doggie bowl food stamps.

for some odd reason i don't feel safe around Republicans.

IonaTrailer August 18, 2012 at 7:35 pm

If you like to walk away when a baby is drowning, you might be a Republican.
(assuming it's a brown baby)

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 10:32 pm

An oldie, but a goodie:

Ethics class teacher: OK, suppose you're walking through the park and you see an unattended baby…
Karl Rove [interrupting]: Steal the baby! Steal the baby!
Harriet Miers: Karl! That’s awful!
Rove: Do you know how much you can get for a healthy baby?
Condoleezza Rice: Oh, you just want to sell it. I was worried there for a minute.
Rove: Jeez, what kind of monster do you think I am?
Cheney: Is the baby white?


Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Hell, if you like kicking a dog, at all, you're probably a Republican. lol

ahnc August 20, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Of course, Republican kicks are in the form of Louis Vuitton.

HamsterSandwich August 19, 2012 at 9:24 am

A friend of mine’s mother is a staunch Republican who would not vote for a Democrat even if it was Jesus Christ Almighty. However, her mother is on her 25th year of Social Security and has extracted about 800% more than she contributed, she’s on Medicare and she sees a doctor or specialist every-other week, her real-estate taxes are subsidized by the taxpayers, she pays no income taxes, but gets back an “earned tax credit” in the thousands, her son, 61 years-old, has been on disability and Medicare for ten years, even though he could work if he wanted to, her grandson, 31 years-old, has been on Medicare for 10 years and receives state subsidies such as daycare reimbursements and food-stamps, and his son who is on Medicare. This woman and her family reap hundreds of thousands each year from the taxpayers, but thinks that only Democrats are on the dole and Obamacare is a Socialist’s conspiracy.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 19, 2012 at 10:45 am

I am against kicking dogs.

ahnc August 20, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I am for kicking Republicans.

bumfug August 18, 2012 at 4:35 pm

What fun is it to give poor people enough to keep from starving if you can't piss on 'em when they use it?

bikerlaureate August 19, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Only an ingrate who didn't know their place would complain about the golden stream of humiliation.
Maybe next time they'll get a job so they don't need a handout and a "free bath", etc.

finallyhappy August 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I wouldn't think you could ask him to explain how he took food stamps but now thinks we should cut welfare. Like my BIL who love Romney and he likes to pretend he understands Romney/Ryan's crazy plans. Also because he will have access to my sister's excellent gov't healthcare in retirement- also will be living off her pension and inheritance- not his lousy Social Security. So easy to talk about cutting this and that when you have someone else's money to support you.

memzilla August 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

See my reply to ahnc above. Your BIL must know my BIL.

BTW, my BIL's proudest moment, which he continually brags about given the least conversational opening, is the time he went golfing with Karl Rove.

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Something something something, "ball washer".


anniegetyerfun August 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm

My brother-in-law's dad, who I have to see WAY to often considering that I am not technically related to him, spent YEARS on welfare as an unemployed young father. Two of his three children (not my brother-in-law) have been living with the help of government assistance for years.

HATES welfare, and poor people.

commiegirl99 August 18, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Oh no, I yell at him about it every time I am at their house, with my gentle murmurs about how he is a FUCKING IDIOT. He loves me anyway, which is how good a brother in law he is, despite being a FUCKING IDIOT.

Lascauxcaveman August 18, 2012 at 7:50 pm

I guess he sounds like he's a nice enough parrot.

Just repeats things he hears on FOX; has not a clue in his simple avian brain what they mean.

Designer_Rants August 18, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Does he read Teh Womket?

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 18, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I know…it's almost become a joke that any given family* will have at least one dumb fuck family member who is a wingnut. In my family it's an uncle, thankfully one I wasn't related to by blood. This fuckhead was a member of the Colorado state legislature but got booted out after being repeatedly sued for sexual harrasment (looks like Heman Cain has a wingman!). He's everything you think of in regards to Republican: fat, bald, corrupt, selfish, greedy and hypocritically moralistic (3 wives and some other…uh, nastier buried shame which surprisingly doesn't involve boys or men). I'm glad he didn't try for higher office because I would definitely have phoned and worked with his opponent to defeat him…and to top it off, god I hate fucking wingnuts.

* white people, most minority families are spared having to deal with that one wingnut fuckface during family reunions

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 10:40 pm

I hate to say it but some of us minorities *do* have the occasional wingnut fuckface to contend with. Seems to be less common among us, though, I will give you that.

Shout-out to the charming fellow who was trying to inveigle our very gay friend into a marriage with one of his homely daughters with the promise that "those blackies" didn't live in his expensive gated community!

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 10:42 pm

"I know…it's almost become a joke that any given family will have at least one dumb fuck family member who is a wingnut."

Cousin Baboom [not his real name] who has been a dumb bastard since he was born, has friended me on facebook. In the blank for his political views, it says, in its entirety, "Ronald Reagan".

The only saving grace of that is that every so often, someone posts an accurate Reagan quote that proves that the senile old shit was actually in favor of the middle class, or whatnot, and I get to forward it, and imagine the wood burning in Baboom's tiny, sloping cranium.

Also, his horrible, bleached-blonde, slutty mother is exactly like Petunia on "Futurama".

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 18, 2012 at 9:53 pm

The "shame" these fuckfaces think doesn't exist has always been there and any kid who's ever been mocked in the schoolyard for their mom using food stamps or for wearing thrift shop clothing or Payless shoes knows how it feels. But the truth is…who really should feel less dignity? My family was dirt poor growing up and we aren't exactly wealthy now (though myself and some others are using education to climb up) but at least what we had we appreciated. Romney, Forbes, Trump, the Kochs had everything given to them because they were just the right ball chowder…and for all their bluster they know they themselves didn't earn what they have so they have to attack other people and be sociopathic creeps to feel good. Really they are just hollow pricks and emotionally stunted children lacking depth and intelligence but having too much money…I say tax the fuckers.

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 10:47 pm

"they know they themselves didn't earn what they have"

"Born on third base, and thinks he hit a triple"

Also, many upfists for "ball chowder"… um… that doesn't seem right…

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Jeeze, these in-laws. Good grief. Given that 90% of us blahs are Dem or something ridiculous like that, we have crazy in-laws, but their conspiracy theorists who feel comfortable in spouting about "how the government is coming to take their (fill in the blank)" while voting for every "big government" politician you can think of. lol It's annoying enough, but I couldn't imagine having to associate with the Republican-brand of crazy.

rocktonsam August 18, 2012 at 10:04 pm

I bet they'll collect S.S. then claim they're entitled to it


Callyson August 18, 2012 at 4:42 pm

"Maybe she will shame some of those on the dole to get back into the working world"

Yeah, like the fucking children who get food stamps? Like *me* back when I was a kid?

FUCK you, you fucking worthless piece of fuck!

Mittens Howell, III August 18, 2012 at 6:23 pm

I second that FUCK you.

Jennyjen798 August 18, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Agreed! What a cunt. I bet her baked goods taste like burning, too.

T3rbo August 18, 2012 at 8:17 pm

you should have tried harder-if it weren't for socialism, you could have pulled a coal car in a mine somewhere, like most honest people do everywhere else. I blame Roosevelt for all of this….

rmjagg August 18, 2012 at 9:39 pm

well said ;-)

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 10:41 pm

(Hugs Callyson) These people, with their horrible, hateful, hurting words. It's like they don't give a shit about those people who might have once suffered in poverty.

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Somewhere, on some level, at least some of these assholes realize that the only reason they're on top is because they got a lucky roll of the dice.
Since this hurts their fee-fees too much to contemplate — and since the next logical thought, namely that a run of bad luck could land them in the mud with the rest of us peasants, is too terrifying to even think of — they pretend that the world is fair, and that life is a meritocracy, and that they somehow *deserve* to be rich, and that the poor somehow *deserve* to be poor.

Also, Uncle Reagan told them some story from a 1947 issue of "Boys Life" where some plucky poor person succeeded through hard work and thrift, and if Uncle Reagan said it, it must be true.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:14 pm

I think I remember being that way myself once. Misfortune sure does knock the arrogance out of a body, don't it? I don't wish it on anyone, but it's the best teacher. May this lady learn the lessons that she so seems to need.

bikerlaureate August 18, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Getting "back into the working world" is purely a matter of choice.
There is no conceivable circumstance in which anyone, in any part of the US, would fail to get back into the working world once they decide they no longer want to sponge off family members or the gubmint, etc.

I would crawl under my bed and wait until the bitterness faded if I had one.

bibliotequetress August 19, 2012 at 8:16 am

Callyson, you nailed it. Thank you.

Callyson August 18, 2012 at 4:43 pm

"But this bakery owner is getting really villified"

Yeah, how dare people react to her poverty – shaming?


T3rbo August 18, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Right, because food stamps come with a huge dose of pride. as in "We did it, we get $130 a month FOR FREE! I'm going to tell everyone I know!"

Butch_Wagstaff August 18, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Someone needs to really tell her that bad publicity isn't always better than no publicity. Particularly during a time when almost 50 million Americans are receiving SNAP benefits (last time I checked it was around 48 million and that was months ago–it's maybe higher than that now).
When her business goes belly up, she'll probably blame Obama & not her own idiotic business decisions.

Geminisunmars August 18, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Well, to be fair, everything IS his fault.

Butch_Wagstaff August 18, 2012 at 9:21 pm

SNAP benefits = EBT. SNAP is what it's known as here so I tend to say either "SNAP" or "EBT". Same thing, though.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 18, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Really…next thing you know they'll be shamed for stomping a homeless guy. What kind of country is it when a cruel, judgmental and pointless exercise in discrimination is not celebrated? The only upside I see to this is that every one of these assholes slings really unhealthy food. What we need now is for someone who runs a deep fried lard business to hate Muslims and maybe we can cull some 'baggers when they all run like trained sheep to support the latest bigot-star. There is an upside here, people and it's type II diabetes and heart disease.

miss_grundy August 18, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Considering how hard it can be to stay in business when there are so many people cutting back on "luxuries" you would think that if you could sell your baked good to someone who could pay cash or pay through food stamps, you would sell your stuff to that person. What? Is the state not going to cover the food stamps? The bakery owner is still going to get paid–so why discriminate? Perhaps this lady should lose her business, have a hard time finding a job and then apply for food stamps. And when someone treats her, the way she treated her almost-customer, she'll have a better idea of how to treat others.

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 11:03 pm

No, she won't.
See also, "The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion" .

Warning: I don't recommend actually reading that article if you're prone to high blood pressure, or if you're bothered by loathsome hypocrites

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Here's what makes me angriest about this: is this bitch going to stand there, if some lady with a little kid comes along, and the kid asks for a baked goodie, is she going to stand there with her mean skanky bitch face hanging out and say "NO"? I'm all in favour of sprog discipline and against tasty baked goods for anyone but my own hypocritical-assed self, but even my concrete heart couldn't resist those little-kid-sad-puppy-eyes. And if she can, I hope she gets hemorrhoids so huge, her ass-cheeks never touch a chair again.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Somebody's in a fine state of rant today, fellowBot. Fine, fine state.

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 11:01 pm

yeah, it's only OK to shame people for being poor, not for being insufferable pricks.

Sharkey August 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I made a bad decision once. Just once.

Chichikovovich August 18, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I made the same bad decision. But that doesn't explain why we keep posting here.

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 6:51 pm

That delicious shameful feeling?

Chichikovovich August 18, 2012 at 7:32 pm

That's it! I just have to have more and more….

Geminisunmars August 18, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Was the first time free for you too?

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Listen, Sharkey, it's too bad you have a bite missing from your fin — but we all TOLD you not to hang around with those killer whales, because they were up to no good!

not that Dewey August 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

EBT + tattoos = Tramp Stamps

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Republicans all LOVE children, but only until they are born & might need nourishment.

Lascauxcaveman August 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

our sister’s husband — who is a wonderful brother-in-law, and loves our sister very much — is a Fox-watchin’ Romney man through and through, and thinks we should cut welfare, because of course he does.

No more fucking omelettes for you, Mr. Wonderful!

UW8316154 August 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Trump is morally bankrupt, I won't argue there.

ThundercatHo August 18, 2012 at 5:02 pm

When you are an old lady you should spit in his face.

Geminisunmars August 18, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Why wait?

anniegetyerfun August 18, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Well, I was feeling inspired until the last paragraph, and now I want to stab someone in the face.

MinAgain August 18, 2012 at 5:03 pm

"Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

So go ahead, Fox. Keep heaping disgust and condemnation on top of Christ's head. You'll get yours one day.

Spurning Beer August 18, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I don't think they have the same bible I do.

Jukesgrrl August 19, 2012 at 1:54 am

The don't have the same Constitution we do, either. Theirs is shorter. Starts with the Second Amendment and then skips over to the 21st.

johnnyzhivago August 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm

These idiots actually believe that if Jesus was here today he would be a hedge fund manager, drive an Escalade and an F350 Dually, open carry a .357 Magnum Car Stopper and listen to country music.

IonaTrailer August 18, 2012 at 7:36 pm

He'd drive a Hummer.

Pithaughn August 18, 2012 at 7:52 pm

AND have a "what would reagan do? " plastic bracelet.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 18, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Die and come back 3 years later in airport format?

Calapine August 18, 2012 at 9:47 pm

These idiots would shoot Jesus in the face if he told them they'd have to lay off the hate.

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 11:08 pm

And not even the GOOD country music, like Hank Williams Sr. and Patsy Cline — asswipes like Charlie Daniels and Toby Keith.*

*I *think* Toby Keith is an asswipe, unless I'm thinking of somebody else.

bikerlaureate August 18, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Wikipedia sez…

In October 2008, Keith told CMT that he had left the Democratic Party and has re-registered as an independent. "My party that I've been affiliated with all these years doesn't stand for anything that I stand for anymore," he says. "They've lost any sensibility that they had, and they've allowed all the kooks in. So I'm going independent." He also told CMT that he would likely vote for the Republican ticket, partially because of his admiration for Sarah Palin.

putukuq August 19, 2012 at 4:02 am

Confused pulling the lever with pulling his dick.

bikerlaureate August 19, 2012 at 11:56 pm

That's what I don't get. I'm weird, it's true, and in addition Palin never did it for me. I don't know what it's like to have that bad of a case of semen backup. Even if she never opened her mouth, I've already read quotes attributed to her.
Can't imagine what she'd be up for that could offset the idea of her being followed around by the nuclear football.
Then again I never got a chubby for Eva Braun either…

Jennyjen798 August 19, 2012 at 10:10 am

Don't forget the yellow support our troops ribbon sticker/magnet.

LetUsBray August 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm

What a shame that we’ve erased ‘shame’ from society. Why can’t we make someone embarrassed for being a horrible loathsome right-wing dipshit?

anniegetyerfun August 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Is there any other reason why this baker is such a cunt about food stamps? I mean, does she somehow receive LESS reimbursement for EBT purchases than she would for cash? I know doctors who claim to actually lose money on Medicaid/Medicare reimbursements, but that's not what she's saying, is it?

Sorry I have to ask, but I can't bring myself to actually watch anything from Fox News.

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm

I can't bring myself to click either, but am also wondering if she signed a contract with the Farmers' Market & agreed to accept EBT? If so, she's clearly in breach of contract & they should kick her sorry ass outta there.

anniegetyerfun August 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm

No doubt she's in the wrong – I was just wondering if she had a case to make other than “I hate poor people and I want them to feel bad.”

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Here's a non-Fox (Boston Herald) link for you: http://goo.gl/Xoo4c

commiegirl99 August 18, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Her stated reason is that she makes desserts, and so they are not nutritious as should be required with food stamps.

Of coure, she also sells them at the FARMERS MARKET, which is also intended to be nutritious.

anniegetyerfun August 18, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Huh. Interesting that she chooses to advertise her goods as lacking in nutritional value. Good selling point!

Guppy August 18, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Frito Lay will want to have a chat with her in a quiet room.

finallyhappy August 19, 2012 at 7:26 am

Ok- so the chocolate pistachio heavy butter croissant at our farmers market is healthy? I'm telling my internist when she gives me crap about my cholesterol next week.

Jukesgrrl August 19, 2012 at 1:58 am

The supermarkets in Arizona LOVE food stamps. Their profits would be cut in half otherwise. They all have 10% off days for the oldz, too.

JCE1985 August 18, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Yes! Denying opportunities to disenfranchised people across the board will totally help them! I mean it's been proven to work before!

What? Me, worry about another Gilded Age? What's that?

aklibtard August 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Where the fuck was the shame of bankers when they took a few hundred billion dollars in a bailout while still living in penthouses and fucking high priced hookers? Did Forbes gnash their teeth over that one?

not that Dewey August 18, 2012 at 10:27 pm

That's a different color money. If we didn't give those hundreds of billions of dollars to the banksters, we wouldn't have been able to use it for something else. Just like War $$ — only redeemable for war, not for feeding or educating people.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Silly libtard, don't you know SHAME is only for POOR people?

Blueb4sinrise August 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm

I guess it's Saturday Story Time © on Wonkette [possible new feature? You're welcome R.S.]

I know a Jeebus- Lovin', Muslin -Obama -Hating, Repu. on some disability, V.A. using 'Nam Vet who will exchange some use of his EBT card with other JLMOHR people for cash, for SUV gasoline [anything else? dunno, possibly rolling tobacco.... that's the story though] whence these other people will use the card to buy luxury items like avocados, strawberries, and kale.

Should I notify the authorities?
No, I won't do that.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Much as I dislike his politics, I don't see how he's harming anyone. I guess I'm saying that would be my test. If he was doing actual harm to someone, I'd turn him in without thinking twice.

schvitzatura August 19, 2012 at 2:05 am

SNAP munnies are fungible to help support petro-dependence to Muslins and Big Tobacco, huh?


I'd go all Inspector Javert on the bunch of them, as how can we allow for this hypocrisy to go on? Dignity would be for him to take mass transit and grow, process, and smoke his own organic tobacco.

zippy_w_pinhead August 18, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Jesus said “Bring them here to me,” And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to Heaven he said unto them "Fuck off you bunch of moochers and leeches, get your own Dad Damned loaf! Pull yourself up by your sandal straps, you lazy poors!!"

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Either that, or Republican Jesus would have sold them at marked-up prices. You know, 'cause…Free Market (!) and shit.

miss_grundy August 18, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Actually, Jesus fed like the 5,000 people who came to hear him that day with the loaves and the fish and after everyone was physically fed, he then fed them spiritually, by giving the Beatitudes speech. It's a wonder that Repubs do not really live by the Beatitudes, even though they love to call themselves Christians. These people have given Christianity a bad name.

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 11:10 pm

"how shall we fuck off, O Lord?"

DahBoner August 19, 2012 at 10:52 am

"Don't follow me. Think for yourselfs–listen to Rush and Fox and Rove and believe everything they say"

GregComlish August 18, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Fuck yeah food stamps! I had those motherfuckers when I needed them the most. People have no idea how desperate you get when you're running out of resources. The worst thing is how rapidly your ego boundaries collapse. You being to feel like you can't control anything in your life. And then food stamps come along and all of a sudden you gain some serious control in your life, you get the power to put the groceries of your choice in the fridge. If you want cheese, you can have cheese. If you want V8, you can have V8. If you want frozen pizzas, you can have frozen pizzas. I spent many a good night dining with the Red Baron thanks to American Food Stamps. And eventually I worked my way out of poverty. If I didn't have food stamps, I probably would have killed somebody.

Nobody is a capitalist once they start starving.

LetUsBray August 18, 2012 at 5:26 pm

The Baron offers a pretty decent frozen pizza for the price, no question.

deanbooth August 18, 2012 at 5:31 pm

One of most depressing meals was using a small can of V8 as spaghetti sauce. Soon after, food stamps came to the rescue.

Lascauxcaveman August 18, 2012 at 7:58 pm

V8 isn't much of a meal.

But take that V8 and add some fresh ground black pepper, a little Tabasco (or Tapitio, that how I take it) a dash of lemon juice, and then you got something.

For after dinner, add a shot of vodka, a little Worcestershire sauce, and you're set for the night.

schvitzatura August 19, 2012 at 2:14 am

Except hidden capitalist Jean Valjean aka Ultime Fauchelevent. Stolen loaf of bread thingee.

Today, he could be a Fregan, due to the abundant petro-foodstuffs that go to waste.

finallyhappy August 19, 2012 at 7:36 am

I don't talk about it anymore(although I have a "friend" who does and tells others) but 40 years ago- for 6 months I got food stamps from DC(and not much either). I used them to buy hippie food(beans. grains, millet- never ate it again!, tofu) from a food coop – in those days, I didn't have a credit card or any way to borrow money

deanbooth August 18, 2012 at 5:16 pm

It's the tale of the Good Shamaritan.

Spurning Beer August 18, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Blessed are the poor.*

*Disclaimer: does not apply to the lazy, the unashamed, the ungrateful, the tattooed, or the acrylic-nailed poor.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 10:58 pm

And *especially* not any poorz who might have just got their hair did.

The_Lucky_Wife August 18, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Jesus wept.

Mumbletypeg August 18, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Redeemable, not just at the Kash N' Karry, but also the Konceal 'n Karry Out As Planned.

Chet Kincaid_ August 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm

It really is depressing that 2000s social media and Web commenting has made it absolutely clear how little progress our country has made on the subject of racism — which is of course 97% of what this food-stamp resentment is about. In the 80s and 90s, minorities could assume that's what the majority of white people were thinking, without having it waved in our faces all the time; more annoying back then were the Pollyanna white people who would get on their high horses about "no more racism" and "What?? I never see any!" Those people have finally shut up, thanks to their "BILs on Facebook." But that's cold comfort. I heap a big pile of blame and disappointment on the Baby Boom generation for this appalling state of affairs; despite taking the entire credit in the media for what smaller groups of minorities, women, war-protestors and radicals did in the '60s, they are too much the spitting image of what a few of them used to call "The Establishment."

Pithaughn August 18, 2012 at 7:56 pm

mrs Pith and were just discussing this am, there should have been a revolution when Nixon was pardoned. The oligarchs realized then they had complete control and could fleece us at will, sheep that we are.

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 11:33 pm

"there should have been a revolution when Nixon was pardoned. The oligarchs realized then they had complete control and could fleece us at will, sheep that we are"

I just spent the last 10 or 15 minutes googling this without success, but there was a group of government officials around the Nixon era who tried their best to undermine the gains we as a nation made during the 1960s. I don't still have the link, but I remember that my comment was something to the effect of, "It's strangely a relief to know that we failed not because we were weak, or because our ideas were wrong, but because of the concerted efforts of a group of very powerful people".

foxypuppet August 19, 2012 at 12:12 am

Was it a group of Neocons? Or more shadowy?

tessiee August 19, 2012 at 1:04 am

It was a branch of the FBI called COINTELPRO, using the considerable power and resources of the FBI, and paid for by…
why, that would be you and me!

"covert operations under the official COINTELPRO label took place between 1956 and 1971.[2] COINTELPRO tactics have been alleged to include discrediting targets through psychological warfare; smearing individuals and groups using forged documents and by planting false reports in the media; harassment; wrongful imprisonment; and illegal violence, including assassination [...] COINTELPRO resources targeted groups and individuals that the FBI deemed "subversive,"[7] including communist and socialist organizations; organizations and individuals associated with the civil rights movement, including Martin Luther King, Jr. [...] and other civil rights organizations; black nationalist groups; the American Indian Movement; a broad range of organizations labeled "New Left", [...] almost all groups protesting the Vietnam War; [...] organizations and individuals associated with the women's rights movement; even Albert Einstein, who was a member of several civil rights groups"

T3rbo August 18, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Yeah, this is the ultimate dog whistle issue. I always watch pundits, on the tv, very closely, like they are going to just start winking when they say things about how lazy 'people' are that are on welfare. The argument is NOT that people are on welfare because they are lazy, the argument, which is no longer polite to say, is that a certain type of person (wink wink) is inherently lazy (wink), and that type of person is set up (wink) to take advantage of entitlement programs(wink wink wink) from birth.
And I agree, all of this country's problems are thanks to asshole baby boomers (present company excluded?). How in the fucking hell can you be a hippie but love Nixon at the same time? Not sure, but I know plenty of ex-hippies who did, and these same terrible pieces of shit hate the fact that all mexicans (not too many blacks where I live now, so messicans have to do) get everything for free, while white people get nothing.

comrad_darkness August 19, 2012 at 9:19 am

I'm not sure as much of this can be attributed to racism as to classism. People with crappy self-esteem like the baker here need to look down on others to feel better. The crappier the lives of those below them, the better they feel. It's like the government is taking away their buzz high.

RadioBowels August 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm

At least she's not refusing service to the gheyz.

LetUsBray August 18, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Only because they don't have to make their purchases with special Ghey Cardz.

Guppy August 18, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Isn't that part of the Ryan Plan?

bikerlaureate August 19, 2012 at 12:01 am


pinkocommi August 18, 2012 at 5:27 pm

If you've ever heard of Cypress Grove chevre or their legendary Humbodt Fog, the founder Mary was a single mom with four daughters and on welfare around the time she started that company. People who are welfare are not losers and even if they are they deserve enough food to survive.

commiegirl99 August 18, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Everyone go buy some Humboldt Fog RIGHT NOW. That is some motherfucking CHEESE.

pinkocommi August 18, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Somewhere in the world there is a little boy named Humboldt Fog Tresniowski. That's right. The cheese is so good, people have named their baby after it, despite it being a ridiculous name for a kid.

Lascauxcaveman August 18, 2012 at 8:01 pm

To be fair, 'Tresniowski' would be an equally ridiculous name for a cheese.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 10:54 pm

I knew once you commies took over, it would be the end of ARE FREEDUMS. Now we have to eat stinky French cheese made by hippies in SF? Man, gubmint cheese has come a long way.

SayItWithWookies August 18, 2012 at 10:59 pm

I've been in a room full of Humboldt fog before, but I don't recall it being cheese. But hey, if it's good I'll give it a shot.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:12 pm

I don't think BeccaLou said it HAD to be cheese. (waggles eyebrows at Wooks)

ttommyunger August 18, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Reality Check: The Power Brokers on the Right LOVE Welfare and Food Stamps and will NEVER kill either. Why? 1- Big Retail makes Billions from sales. 2- Banksters make Billions every year from Transaction Fees. 3- Republican Politicians feed their frightened and hateful Base with class warfare hate-speech against the recipients who, ironically, are mostly white.

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 10:19 pm

The Farm Bill. Don't forget the wheeling & dealing that is traded for Food Stamps in the Farm Bill. Much has been conceded to the agribusinesses, Monsanto, Con Agra, etc. so that the Dems can keep the poorz from starving…

ttommyunger August 18, 2012 at 10:26 pm

And the list goes on…

miss_grundy August 18, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Thank you for saying it. Most people in this country do not realize that the majority of welfare recipients are white. Perhaps these people who think that only blahs or messicans are recipients should be parachuted down into those sleepy little southern towns where the whites are awash with food stamps and welfare checks. Then, perhaps, they would shut up. Or they can go see their kin in Appalachia.

ttommyunger August 18, 2012 at 10:48 pm

But money=speech, so no one will hear you or me.

Jukesgrrl August 19, 2012 at 2:12 am

Especially thank you for acknowledging the zillions banks make off the use of "food stamps," now cards that slide through scanners and appropriate the spoils to the proper institution without that old pesky paperwork that created a jerb. Most people have no idea about that. They haven't even thought of the fact that the money the taxpayers "give" the poorz is actually spent immediately at stores owned by their country club buddies. So the means of the transaction is extra far from their "minds."

Negropolis August 19, 2012 at 3:30 am

That was a major reason for them switching from actual stamps to the plastic cards.

ttommyunger August 19, 2012 at 10:24 am

The Republican ideal Economy truly is “Trickle Down”. The question is, will the spigot be turned so far closed that the trickle is eventually insufficient to provide the bare necessities? A hungry man with hungry children has little concern for law, custom or the rights of others. It could become very interesting. Would this be the Government's impetus for militarizing our police and extending intel-gathering into every corner of our private lives? Time will tell.

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 10:49 pm


The gulf between the their party elites and their base is ridiculously wide. Every movement or party has some space between their base and elites, but the totally cynical nature of Republican elites when it comes to dealing with their base is just astounishing in its breadth and depth.

Where the hell do these mouth-breathers thinks the foot stamp money goes once someone spends it? Assholes. The cognitive dissonance is suffocating.

ttommyunger August 18, 2012 at 10:52 pm

And yet, the Rubes keep buying it…..

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 11:39 pm

There's an old cartoon by R. Crumb (who had his fair share of problems and then some) satirizing one of those Sunday morning pundit talk shows. The first guy, Professor Wasznowski, got the discussion going with the following opening remark:

""Kick the n*ggers off Welfare" is something you hear a lot in conversation these days. But that won't work because…"

yes, it was in part a cheap shock laugh, but also, it was making fun of the tone-deafness of thinking that it was something you heard a lot in conversation (and also that you would never really hear it on a talk show). the difference is that nowadays, you probably *could* hear it a lot in conversation, if you hung out with Rs.

ttommyunger August 18, 2012 at 11:45 pm

The Spirit of Reagan (Welfare Queens) is alive and well in the Grand Old Party, they've just updated their code words.

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Those must be the bitterest-tasting whoopie pies ever…

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 10:52 pm

She doesn't make whoopie, uh, pies.

Chichikovovich August 18, 2012 at 5:33 pm

our sister’s husband …. is a Fox-watchin’ Romney man through and through, and thinks we should cut welfare,…

Well that's the last straw. Sorry Rebecca, I'm sure your BIL is a decent husband and all that, but next time I need a sideboom or a front-end loader I'm taking my business someplace else.

Come here a minute August 18, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Don't get our hero baker lady started on the lucky duckies on unemployment.

valthemus August 19, 2012 at 4:31 am
BarackMyWorld August 19, 2012 at 9:36 am


Chichikovovich August 18, 2012 at 5:41 pm

our sister’s husband …. is a Fox-watchin’ Romney man through and through, and thinks we should cut welfare,…

He is going to pay us taxpaying hardworking taxpaying American taxpaying taxpayers back, right? Sit down with the calculator and figure out how much he was given in food stamps and in aid from charities that took government grants, then send a check for that amount to the Treasury?

'Cause I'm sure he would like to erase the shame of having lived off of the hard work of others.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I hope he doesn't forget to add the interest for all those years when he was sitting around NOT paying that money back.

coolhandnuke August 18, 2012 at 5:42 pm

In our Oregon coastal hamlet, there was a woman who took over the responsibilities of managing a struggling bar/restaurant. Word leaked that she was taking the produce, meat and essentials she received from the local Food Bank and using that food in the restaurant menu to save money and cut corners…totally illegal. But what added insult to injury, this woman is a well-known stereotypical christian fundamentalist right winger who lives in million dollar trophy home and drives a Hummer.
The restaurant closed shortly after her misdeeds were aired and I believe she left town.
*I forgot to add that she had her cook use her EBT card to buy food for the restaurant with the promise she would be reimbursed–which she reneged on.

Geminisunmars August 18, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Well, she sounds really enterprising. Just the kind of Amurican the right-wing loves.

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 10:25 pm

She's probably working for Halliburton now. Or Bain, or Blackwater or Con Agra or Monsanto, etc. You know- one of those companies that hasn't benefitted at all from government assistance… Or that private business that Ryan didn't run for 3 years…

Designer_Rants August 18, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Was her name Cruella DeVille?

cantijustread August 18, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Looks like these people at Fox forgot to be angry at WalMart for making billions in profits for accepting the benefits from the poors. But I guess that is okay because freedom and all.

KeepFnThatChicken August 18, 2012 at 5:48 pm

John Tamny should stop talking and get the rest of his haircut.

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Maybe Mittenz can help him with that…

mavenmaven August 18, 2012 at 5:52 pm

One always justifies and even sanctifies one's own economic hardships, but that other guy in the same situation- he's a parasite sucking off the government teats…

salt_bagel August 18, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Every time I see a story like this, I smile, because I know I'm growing my portfolio of complex shame derivatives.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Biely? Biel_ze_Bubba, is that YOU?

BarackMyWorld August 18, 2012 at 6:20 pm

"I'm turning down that $35,000 a year job so I can collect $50 a week in food stamp benefits and live in run-down housing in a bad neighborhood," said no one, ever.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 10:48 pm

That *must* be how they see it. They're that fucked in the head that they can drive past housing projects and ha-ha about how THEY would never live there, and mock poor folks for driving beater cars or wearing crappy clothes, and it never dawns on them that if poor people actually HAD a fucking choice, they would choose to live in a nice apartment in a nice neighbourhood and make loads of nice munniez. The fucking fucks.

BenGleck August 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

Yeah, I was receiving 1/4 of my pay in benefits. How do you live on a 1/4 salary, pay rent and such.

CrunchyKnee August 18, 2012 at 6:25 pm

How uniquely American – having no compassion for your fellow citizens. White Jesus sang about it with Skynard back in the 70s I think.

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 11:46 pm

Yeah, and then he got in a plane crash.

Too soon?

Doktor Zoom August 18, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Well when he was on food stamps and welfare did anyone help him out? No!

Blueb4sinrise August 18, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Oh shit, who was that, an actor right?

Spurning Beer August 18, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Well, kind of. It was Craig T. Nelson.

BarackMyWorld August 19, 2012 at 9:37 am

He's a total douche…but I can't really get mad at the guy who played Mr. Incredible, though.

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Take your government paws off my Medicare!

Mittens Howell, III August 18, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I'd like to use some of my savings from hiding taxable income in Swiss bank accounts to buy this scrumptious bag of chocolate-chip-on-my-shoulder cookies and, what the heck, I'll have a handful of those haterdoodles while I'm at it.

dennis1943 August 18, 2012 at 7:01 pm

As we get closer to the election,the cacaphony of derision and division will escalate to an unimaginable crescendo………..i'm nearly numb already………but i WILL NOT capitulate……

Mittens Howell, III August 18, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Looks like a certain baker just used up their monthly douche-stamps benefits.

Spurning Beer August 18, 2012 at 7:03 pm

As our Lord said Himself, "Cast the first stone!"

sewollef August 18, 2012 at 7:08 pm

"raising two small twinlets"

Is that four in total?

coolhandnuke August 18, 2012 at 7:09 pm

I have heard the proposal/analogy, in right wing circles, equating the use of a library card to that of an EBT card. It is not that far-fetched to see this as reality–defunding libraries–should they win in November. Remember what Reagan did to the California library and education system–which was one of the finest in the world–while he was Governor, then pumped up the prison system. And ask yourself, how often do you see the rich, the one percenters and the Tea Party ignoratti in any library–cuz I don't.

CrunchyKnee August 18, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Tea baggers ride their Hoverounds to the teh liebarry when they wanna order up some moovies.

coolhandnuke August 18, 2012 at 7:18 pm

I thought they all used Nutflix.

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 11:51 pm

"Wesley, git Momma's pryin' board!"

littlebigdaddy August 18, 2012 at 7:18 pm

First they came for the library card holders and I did not speak out because I had a Kindle.

Midway117 August 18, 2012 at 8:00 pm

They do, however, FOIA library budgets to make sure the books are checking themselves out and no one there is making a living wage.

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 10:40 pm

It's bad enough giving kids food for their tummies. but food for thought is downright dangerous. Why, they might actually find a copy of the Constitution or something, & realize they have rights!

tessiee August 18, 2012 at 11:56 pm

"how often do you see the rich, the one percenters and the Tea Party ignoratti in any library"

There's a Hispanic or Latino family I sometimes see in my branch of the library — two stern-looking parents, and several children that appear to be scrubbed within an inch of their lives. Sometimes the children translate for the parents. If they had no library to go to, it would make me very sad.

DerrickWildcat August 19, 2012 at 2:47 am

We don't need no Library. We need a new 60 million dollar football stadium for our High School team! http://www.businessinsider.com/texas-high-school-

Jukesgrrl August 19, 2012 at 2:24 am

They can close the libraries if they want to, but they're going to miss the librarians who are the only ones helping the poorz access their benefits now that most states require all the registering and filing to be done on computers.

Apparently Republican legislators are under the impression that homeless people all have iPads and there's internet access under every bridge. But since that's not the case, librarians are now, by default, social workers helping desperately poor, elderly, and/or mentally disturbed people — many of whom are veterans and others nearly illiterate — claim their benefits.

foxypuppet August 19, 2012 at 2:43 am

Shuttin' down them libaries means the poors won't have no place to get no help? DOUBLE WINZ!!1!

Misty Malarky August 18, 2012 at 7:18 pm

This is beginning to sound like the new American Dream:
-Open a business selling unhealthy, disgusting food.
-Refuse to serve or make hateful speech about minorities/poor people
-Watch the Jesus money ROLL IN!

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 10:45 pm

And this is actually very good, because in a few years, these horrible Jebus munnies ppl will all have exploded from myocardial infarcts and we can get back to the business of making the world a better place.

Sharkey August 18, 2012 at 11:05 pm

In fairness, you have to be featured on Fox before the real money starts flowing.

tessiee August 19, 2012 at 12:00 am

-Open a business selling unhealthy, disgusting food.
-Refuse to serve or make hateful speech about minorities/poor people
Complain loudly and publicly how you're being victimized, persecuted, and discriminated against for your religious beliefs
-Watch the Jesus money ROLL IN!

valthemus August 19, 2012 at 4:39 am

It's like how Christians who don't hate gay people aren't really Christians… rich people who don't hate the poor aren't like *real* rich people.

MonkeyMotion August 18, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Just wondering, RS: was BIL laid off for being a fucking asshole?

ManchuCandidate August 18, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Yet these Faux folks are the same people who would be willing to suck a Koch like there is no tomorrow.

DahBoner August 18, 2012 at 8:01 pm

But America was founded as a Christian Nation, which gives us
The Freedum® to Disobey Jesus and Hate Our Poorer Neighbors!

viennawoods13 August 18, 2012 at 8:20 pm

I'm not clicking on that vid, no siree, but anyone else think she's using Sarah's optometrist and hairdresser?

PubOption August 18, 2012 at 8:46 pm

I love the chyron text at the bottom of the screen when the video is not running.
Baker refuses to take food stamps as payment…making it the second deadliest day in Iraq since US troops …

PubOption August 18, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Old Saying: No trader cries out "stinking fish".
Baker Lady: My pies have no nutritional value.

SoBeach August 18, 2012 at 8:57 pm

This is how it's done. Get the 50% who are working poor to blame their troubles the 25% who are destitute. Genius.

tessiee August 19, 2012 at 12:20 am

"Divide and conquer" has been a successful ploy since at least the days of the Roman Empire.
Amazingly, the dividees never sem to catch on.

barto August 18, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Well, if your a poor Republican it's much much better to just think of yourself as a temporarily inconvenienced millionaire (t/t J. Steinbeck).

rocktonsam August 18, 2012 at 9:03 pm

that show amazes me. what are those smiling smug cocksuckers always smiling about?

Did they see foxy Liz's tits?

Those people will get their comeupance some day, probably.

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Who would Jesus kick? Well, the only thing I remember Jesus kicking is the asses of the money changers in the temple, so, yeah. Jesus quite literally hulked out on them. Jesus SMASH!

BTW, let's play this game:

Q: "Why can’t we make someone embarrassed for…"

A: What is "being racist dickheads, Alex?"
A: What is "being a shitty banker who robs the pensions of the oldz?"

Sharkey August 18, 2012 at 9:47 pm

"Next thing you know, they'll erase erase from our society."

schvitzatura August 19, 2012 at 2:29 am

Another word plucked from Gaffy Joe Biden's vocab by fee-fee hurt Viscount Hairgel.

jqheywood August 19, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Ooh….Viscount Hairgel! I am so going to borrow that….

RedStateLefty August 18, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Exactly why Food Stamps should be cashed out and given as income to recipients rather than electronic benefit transfer. And besides politicians, if the SNAP(formerly FSP) was abolished, you'd hear more howling from the grocers than the recipients.

justincasetoo August 18, 2012 at 10:18 pm

I am afraid accusing Republicans of ignorance is taken as a compliment by them. But I will do that anyway in this case because the simple fact is that since Shrub (Bush) finished fiddling with the food stamp program you can: 1) Own a million dollar home and still get food stamps + b) Have million of dollars in a retirement account and still get food stamps + c) Drive around in a pretty fancy car and…..yes, still get food stamps…..This has been true for at least eight years now. The only thing you CANNOT have is a lot of cash in the bank. Now any thoughtful person can put all that together and figure out who ALL can really qualify for food stamps….just the poor and unfortunate? Nope!!!!

Don't have to take my word for it…just go to the Social Security Administration web site. It will take only a minute's worth of reading to figure it out

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 10:27 pm

I think you're a bit confused. The reason for this "fiddling" was the make sure families could own thing likes cars. The Republicans recently tried to roll back qualifications based on assets which would have left a lot of families quite literally stranded, particularly in places with zero to little mass transit. People with junkers were being kicked off the rolls because they dared own a piece-of-shit car to get to the job training centers. This "fiddling" wasn't meant to give millionaires food stamps; that wouldn't even make sense in even a consipacy theory kind of way.

bobbert August 19, 2012 at 3:01 pm

IRAs weren't meant to include value-exploding tax shelters for the very rich, either. Unintended consequences happen. In the case of food stamps, the very real benefit to millions of poor recipients undoubtedly outweighs the occasional benefit to the undeserving better-off.

SayItWithWookies August 18, 2012 at 10:26 pm

You know, there's a lot less poverty in economies without boom-and-bust cycles that occasionally wipe out regular people's savings without warning and dry up investment money so nobody can hire workers.

And we're not talking about extremely regulated economies either — only those with pretty normal levels of regulation such as Glass-Steagall, regulations against usury like payday loan shops, and a level of food and housing security that these FOX fools would find appalling. Of course comparable industrialized nations would find them appalling too, though for exactly opposite reasons — namely their parsimoniousness rather than their largesse.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 10:43 pm

What horrible people. Dad used to sneak food to the kids that lived at the end of our street because their old man was a hopeless drunk. Dad always made sure they got a little something to line their poor little stomachs.

RadioBowels August 18, 2012 at 10:54 pm

What a great story my friend. Generosity is a spiritual principle to be admired. And this fond memory of your father warms my socialist heart.
{Hugs MittBorg}

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:17 pm

(Hugs you back) Anything good in me, I'm pretty sure I got from Dad. He was born to a wealthy family and lost it all before his kids were born, but I never saw him treat a poor person as anything other than just another human being. And he literally gave the shirt off his back to those who needed it whenever he could. This woman just disgusts me so much, I can't tell you.

RadioBowels August 18, 2012 at 11:36 pm

She really is a sociopath. And now a teabagger hero! Srsly, it does make me nauseous and sad for my species.
My dad too was a gentle giant who respected me and taught me tolerance and charity.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:42 pm

I love your Dad too, then. I hug him in absentia.

This level of meanness is so GAH.

tessiee August 19, 2012 at 12:27 am

My mother is a retired teacher. During the 50 years of her career, the school she taught at went from lower-middle-class to dystopian hellhole — I mean, kids getting raped/killed on the way home from school, stuff like that.

Every Hallowe'en, we got to keep about half of our candy, and Mom brought the rest of it to her school. when I was little, I resented that. then I got a little bit older and saw 1) how excited those kids got over even one piece of candy, 2) that I would not take a kid trick or treating in that horrible neighborhood IN A DAMN SHERMAN TANK!!

PS I eventually figured out to sort out the half of the candy that I didn't like… Annnnd now we're back to circus peanuts.

MittBorg August 19, 2012 at 1:01 am

Wow, your parents were so trusting, they let YOU sort the candy. Ours knew better.

We didn't have Hallowe'en, but at any holiday if we got gifts, we were permitted to keep one or two of the toys we liked best, and our parents would give the rest away. We used to cry and kick up a fuss as kids because our spoiled little friends got to keep THEIR goddam toys, and Mom fixed that by taking us to see the recipients of our involuntary generosity. It's hard to hang on to your Teddy bear or doll or fancy train set when some other little kid is playing with empty bottles and rags.

WTF happened, tessiee? Our parents (nutty as my Mom was) taught us to be good human beings and good citizens. What the hell kinda parents does this Cookie Monster have, that she turned out so fucking *mean*?

glamourdammerung August 18, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Some people have so little to be proud of that they have to go around looking for and even imagining negative things about others to be pleased with themselves.

RadioBowels August 18, 2012 at 10:50 pm

I can't wait until the health insurance companies refuse to take the Ryan coupons…fuckin' freeloaders.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:18 pm

No health insurance company will EVER insure people over 60 except at astronomical rates, for the simple reason that they cannot make a profit otherwise. It's a pity the nation is so fucking innumerate, because anybody with a working brain cell and basic math skills could figure this out.

RadioBowels August 18, 2012 at 11:32 pm

*Gack* You are so correct. All of this lunacy to give tax breaks to the rich. And don't touch the Militardy-Industrial-Socialist Complex. Smugness as the icing. Maybe I should be dusting off my passport.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:43 pm

We should start making plans for a Wonketz-in-Exile HQ in Costa Rica, or someplace nice like that.

RadioBowels August 18, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Bring your surfboard!

tessiee August 19, 2012 at 12:30 am

"don't touch the Militardy-Industrial-Socialist Complex"

"Nothing is off the table — schools, police, firefighters, medicare, social security — nothing."
"How about cuts to the military and their $100 ashtrays?"

MittBorg August 19, 2012 at 12:57 am

That would sum it up nicely, yes.

mosjef August 18, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Food stamp users prevented from buying overpriced baked goods devoid of nutriional value. Thank you skank lady. You can shove that extra pineapple tart up your twat..

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 10:57 pm

BTW, where the hell was the shame when the banks came begging for billions-upon-billions of dollars for actually fucking up our financial system? Yet, it's the poorz breaking the bank, right, what with their food stamps and forecloures and such as, right? You know, this is what I liked about Occupy. It was someone finally answering this bullshit propoganda that corporate welfare was good while social welfare was bad.

I can't tell you how much this galls me, and how mad I am that when these lies were being cooked up that our side didn't try everything in our might to stop this shit from sticking.

Don't these fuckers realize they are begging for a revolution? This can't keep going on without an answer.

tessiee August 19, 2012 at 12:33 am

"our side didn't try everything in our might to stop this shit from sticking."

Some of them did, but then our masters in the corporate media told us that we weren't supposed to perceive that any more.

lulzmonger August 18, 2012 at 11:36 pm

You libtards are plainly trampling on this innocent lady's religious freedumb!

Can't you see that she's a member in good standing of "The 101% All-American Church Of Jesus Christ, Fuckface"???

Designer_Rants August 18, 2012 at 11:45 pm

OT: I don't watch Fox's Fiends, ever. But Somehow came across this and just realized that Brian Kilmeade is an actual person. Slightly blew my mind. Gretch and Deuce are still awful, but now Brian is just "insufferable" to me. http://goo.gl/kOSUJ

tessiee August 19, 2012 at 12:05 am

Crawl line:

"Baker refuses to take food stamps as payment, making it the second deadliest day in Iraq since U.S. troops left"

bikerlaureate August 19, 2012 at 12:08 am

Surely Trader Joe's is doing something wrong, somewhere, but no interaction I've had with 'em in 15 years has revealed it.

RadioBowels August 19, 2012 at 12:14 am

I've bee asking the same question. How do they do it? Srsly.

cheetojeebus August 19, 2012 at 11:02 am

Formerly owned by some sketchy german Billionaire brothers (I think they're now deceased?) who also own Aldi's. Very savvy about the grocery biz. Aldi's is a good option for the poorz. A little money can go a long way there.

bikerlaureate August 19, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Wikipedia tell me this (but says "Citation needed" a couple of times too, so caveat emptor)…

The individual [German Aldi] groups were originally owned and managed by brothers Karl Albrecht and Theo Albrecht; Karl has since retired and is Germany's richest man. Theo was Germany's second richest man until his death in July 2010.

Trader Joe's was founded by Joe Coulombe and has been owned, since 1979, by a family trust set up by the late German businessman Theo Albrecht, one of the two brothers behind the German discount supermarket chain Aldi.

TIL Aldi is derived from "Albrecht Discount".

gogogodzilla August 19, 2012 at 12:40 am

We have enough food to go around. I don't care how lazy people are–they deserve to eat. It's not like we're buying them all dancing horses.

MittBorg August 19, 2012 at 12:56 am

Even if we didn't have enough to go around, the right thing to do would still be to share and be content with a smaller portion — and hand out free BC tout-suite.

PuckStopsHere August 19, 2012 at 1:04 am

She doesn't need to shame people. My dad died when I was five and my mom was left to raise five of us alone. And being a little kid and not knowing any better, I felt ashamed a little bit when I'd see my mom use food stamps at the grocery store. I'm not proud of this, but like I said I was a little kid and seeing my mom paying with food stamps made me feel like EVERYBODY KNEW we were poor. No, this woman doesn't need to shame people. The act of having to depend on a handout does that all by itself. But shame on her for trying. Cunt. Bitch.

Self-Uploader August 19, 2012 at 1:21 am

Yeah, I'll admit there's a judgmental part of me that cringes a little when I see the person ahead of me on the supermarket line buying chips and 64 ounce sodas with their EBT cards. But basically I tell that judgmental asshole to shut the fuck up because it's absolutely none of my business.

Bakery lady is the kind of sour scold who is empathy-impaired. She is not as awful, however, as those sleazy pundits talking about "welfare" and being "on the dole" when they probably know damn well that food stamp recipients are mostly the elderly, children and the working poor and if there were no food stamps there'd likely be much more pressure for a living wage.

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

Negropolis August 19, 2012 at 1:22 am

Hero Baker Lady: "Let them eat Hostess snack cakes!"

And to that I say thank you, 'cause those little fuckers are tasty. Sno Balls FTW.

tessiee August 19, 2012 at 2:09 am

OT, but brilliant in a dark way:

Carrabuda August 19, 2012 at 10:08 am

Dark indeed. I can't even chuckle at that because it basically encapsulates many of my fears about this election and the future of the US. Things are really going to shit. I have about 30 more years on the planet, with luck. Question is, is that good luck or bad?

shelwood46 August 19, 2012 at 3:57 am

I feel bad for today's children on food stamps. Back in my day (the '70s), when my family was on the Stamps, in addition to the dollars being play money bills, there were also little plastic coins in the various demoninations. Even poor moms tend to let kids mess around with spare change, at least until the end of the month. Those plastic discs were awesome tiddlywinks. There's no way kids get to play with a debit card, and it's not a good toy anyway.

valthemus August 19, 2012 at 4:46 am

"Did our sister feel the shame those cashiers intended? Yes she did, so thanks, ladies! But that shame was not going to open up any construction-equipment-selling jobs any faster."

Oh, well, sure! Let's let Commiegirl blame the job creators! Just because they aren't creating jobs it's all *their* fault, right, Commie?? Was your mommy a commie too? WAS SHE?!? WAS SHE A COMMIE MOMMY?!?

I'm going to go gargle with some Milwaukee's Best to get the taste of socialism out of my mouth!

usuhname August 19, 2012 at 5:11 am

What a shaaame that you cant not sell some obesity-rich pies. What a shaaaame they don't go hungry. What a shaaame good honest people cant shoot dem' mexicans in their own streets.

proudgrampa August 19, 2012 at 7:17 am

Hero Baker Lady = One Ugly Excuse for a Human Being

Misty Malarky August 19, 2012 at 7:40 am

My grandmother was a 1970s Little Old Lady on Social Security.
That government cheese she got made the best damn grilled cheese sandwiches ever!
No foolin'!

BZ1 August 19, 2012 at 8:11 am

Perhaps wearing a visible marker, say a star, would help identify them.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 19, 2012 at 8:37 am

Brain damage must be contagious. It is the only explanation. It's an epidemic folks!

Monsieur_Grumpe August 19, 2012 at 8:40 am

Shame? Where the hell did your fucking empathy go?

bibliotequetress August 19, 2012 at 8:53 am

As I ranted a few days ago, I have bought Ever So Humble pastries myself, almost weekly when she sold at a farmer's market in my old neighborhood. The memory of that keeps flaring up & pissing me off— I mean, I dropped bucks to get pastries for events at my job, for Thanksgiving, etc. I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that another of her regular patrons sold smack for a family out of Rhode Island– not only was this a well spread rumor around our little corner of Dorchester but he was eventually busted and, to the best of my knowledge, is still doing time now. I knew him slightly because we shared a neighborhood bar (yeah, Boston…) and we saw each other at the market and talked about how much we liked the pies.
So, she doesn't like taking EBT. As a Christian, she should hate taking money garnered from crime and from damaging families. Maybe she'll donate a few thousand dollars to N.A. or, even better, Dorchester Youth Collaborative to make up for taking drug money?

(This post also emailed to Ever So Humble pie company)

comrad_darkness August 19, 2012 at 9:05 am

>is a Fox-watchin’ Romney man through and through, and thinks we should cut welfare, because of course he does.

As long as the Blahs starve more than he does, all is good.

Benny August 19, 2012 at 9:13 am


This segment took all the joking and sarcasm right out of me.Holy shit.These assholes are all smiles about it too.Moda.Fukas.

labman57 August 19, 2012 at 10:51 am

Kicking people in the head while they're struggling to pick themselves off of the ground does not make one great.
If you need to do so in order to feel superior, then you have simply confirmed that you are actually quite small.

This is what happens when your political convictions dictate that empathy should be regarded as a character flaw.

An_Outhouse August 19, 2012 at 11:28 am

I'll bet money that her 'bakery' is completely subsidized by her husband. I'd want that bitch out of the house too.

kittensdontlie August 19, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Sorry, I am a strong believer in the right of 'free association':

Baker lady—-EBT Shame-a-thon charter member
Cakes, Cookies& Pies—-Good Eatin'
R-Hypocrites—-Have an eye full of beams(Matt7/3)

cheetojeebus August 18, 2012 at 9:13 pm

There was a story on NPR about Farmers Markets beginning to take stamps. The example in suburban DC ? took in very few, so my intuition on this is she has nothing to loose by this stance as she probably has had maybe one or two people at most pay with them. This was just a savvy way to glom onto the Chick-fila phenom. Craven bitch that she is.

Geminisunmars August 18, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Trans fat for sale. Come get your nice, hot sugar and trans fat clumps right hee-yah!

Carrabuda August 18, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I did research on this very topic a few months ago. In the state of North Carolina, the vast majority of farmers markets do not accept SNAP. I'm glad to hear that it may be better elsewhere.

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Weird, my local farmers' market has been taking them for years, but I live in Michigan, which had been in a recession for years prior to the Great Recession, so that may be the reason.

foxypuppet August 18, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Our local market in SC has accepted EBC & WIC for a while now. I hope this brouhaha isn't going to stir up problems for farmers markets that do this…

comrad_darkness August 19, 2012 at 9:27 am

Ours accepts some kind of public assistance coins. I confess I've never been down that road, Thank the FSM, so I'm not quite sure what they are. I have taken the time to watch the responses of the sellers to taking them (because I can choose from a lot of sellers). They've all behaved neutrally. The shame seems to always be on the side of the users of the coins. Seriously, no one needs to turn the knife for these people. They've got that covered already.

cheetojeebus August 18, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Here's the NPR story I referred to. http://tinyurl.com/cm3qxrf
They mention pretty low numbers, 3,500 etc for the whole market per year.
I think it's a good thing and hope it expands. Fresh fruit instead of fruit rollups …

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:05 pm

You tarts!

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Hell to the yeah. Gettin' little wetsuits made for ALL the fuckin' cats. They're gonna have to swim sooner or later, weatherliar sez a LONG BAD winter ahead.

RadioBowels August 19, 2012 at 12:17 am

El Niño Loco!

foxypuppet August 19, 2012 at 2:51 am

I've heard of COINTELPRO, but I swear I didn't help fund it since I wasn't even born in 1956.

Except probably retroactively, so yeah, we're all probably guilty anyway, and that makes me sad.

GregComlish August 19, 2012 at 10:50 am

Retroactively? You're under the impression that COINTELPRO somehow stopped?

Jukesgrrl August 19, 2012 at 7:17 pm

If people get mad enough all the gates the rich can put on their “communities” won't save them from the anger and they know it.Yes, I think that's partially the impetus for the growth of repressive policing.That, and it makes a lot of the 1% even richer.Privatized prisons, privatized army, and all the usual “defense” contractors feeding at the trough.

ttommyunger August 19, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Bingo!Sent from my iPhone

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