We are quite sure that we are supposed to be very ANGRY at this 83-year-old lady for Crimes Against Civility (spitting in the face of a Woman for Romney). “Why are you against Planned Parenthood?” the old lady asks. “Women are in need…” The rest of her plaintive statement is drowned out by broads trying to shut her up, until she cold hocks a loogie in the face of the lady next to her.

Well, the Romney Ladies (who are “peaceful,” so that is nice!) do not care for Mary Hoglund’s method of making her displeasure known, and break into a rousing round of “ROM-NEY ROM-NEY” that would really be better if it were “USA! USA!” with a little soft shoe.

And here we must remind our readers that the only time it is okay to spit in someone’s face is if you are a very old lady, because then you can do what the fuck you want. Or if you are spitting in someone’s face with votes.


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  • bumfug

    When my mom was in her 90s she used to watch politicians and she'd say "That guy makes me so mad I could just spit!" I guess you really can get that mad.

    • kittensdontlie

      So, spit is the Mitturd's kryptonite. Subduing a whole population was never so easy.

  • docteur_giraud

    The Republicans may change their minds about the usefulness of death panels.

    • They've already GOT death panels. Now they'll be sending her photo around.

      • rmjagg

        with her address and a detailed list of ' instructions '

  • Weenus299

    Must haves a photo ID to schpitt.

    • reliefsinn

      Cripes sake, at least she's not trying to vote without an ID, that would be unforgivable.

  • Mojopo

    The little chicken lady who was spat on started it, getting up in granny's grill like that. I do not condone what this 83 year old did, but I respect the fuck out of her.

    • I'm thinkin' Granny's gonna twist someone's nuts off if she can get her hands on 'em.

      • Mojopo

        Interesting. I don't think she intends to emasculate anyone, but this will be a blood feud for generations. When old women fight, shit sticks.

        • Geminisunmars

          I think you mean spit sticks.

          • Mojopo

            Absolutely. And if she wants to load up an adult diaper and swing it around the room like David going after Goliath, I would probably pay-per-view that, too.

        • I know if I were her kid I'd be mad at the bitch who manhandled my Momma.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Thankfully, I've never had occasion to spit in someone's face. That is really beyond the pale.

      However, had I been there, I almost certainly would have punched Romney Lady in the throat. Perhaps the 83-year-old loogie-lady was just worried about damaging her fragile, arthritic knuckles.

    • memzilla


    • Negropolis

      I was thinking the same thing. Getting up in someone's face that closely where I'm from usually warrants something more than a response of verbal abuse.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Today we are all spitty 83 year old women.

    • Mojopo

      We shall
      Someday, ayy yayyyy…

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Oh sure, now I can see all the calls for banning mucous .

  • OkieDokieDog

    Getting old has its advantages.

    • No shit. You don't HAVE to be nice to ANYBODY no moar.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        One of my fond desires is to be a complete pain in the ass to anyone who crosses me. The nice CNA will a smile and a joke. The mean one that smells like stale cigarette smoke will get…

        • When I was young, I used to sit in meetings and listen to people blather on forever, and hold my tongue because I knew damn well those foolish old farts didn't want to listen to me. Last time I was in a meeting, one of my nemeses was running off at the mouth, and it gave me SO much pleasure to say, "You know, Tom, it's great that you called this meeting and everything, but if you're just gonna read the agenda, you gave us all a copy and we ALL can read." Oh, that felt good. If only I could fart on command, I would've punctuated it with a stinker.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        I, personally, would not do any spitting (even though I'm really good at it). But, then again, I'm not an 83 yo lady. If I was an 83 yo man…umm, maybe.

        • I have this plan. I want to get tiny little doll hands. Plastic or foam. Spray paint them a "flesh" colour, insert rods in the wrist part, and wear clothes with extra long sleeves (easy since I'm a short little fart and wear my partner's clothes a lot, he's taller). If somebody did something like this to me, I would whip out my tiny little plastic doll hands and beat their chests, screaming "You brute, you brute, you *horrible* brute!" like the guy in Blazing Saddles.

          Will it fly?

          ETA: I'm trying to think of creative street-theater type responses to the nutbaggery. Keeps me from going insane.

    • Yes, I notice it doesn't say she was arrested. Needs moar blah.

  • Rotundo_

    It is amusing to see how they respond when a small dose of what they have been doing gets slung right back at them. Civility is always desireable, but sometimes you have to respond in kind, simply because they do not, or will not, understand anything else.

    • Mojopo

      Honest to God, I bet she felt 100% better after spitting.

    • Seriously, they didn't understand responding in kind either. But I gave you p anyway. For sPit.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    If I had had that old bat in my face yelling at me to "zip it" I would have done more than spit on her.

    • I ain't never yellin' nothin' in UR face. And u can't make me.

    • You could kick her in the nuts because she probably has some.

      I know … Ann Coulter libel.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I can't wait until I'm an old lady so I can do these kinds of things. I'm gonna hit people with my cane, too.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      A few years ago when I was gimping around with a cane, I caught two kids trying to shoplift at the market near my place. I rapped one across the knees. He looked shocked, but he put the candy back.

      I hope ya'll don't think any less of me for it, but godDAMN, that felt good.

      • If you meet Dashboard Buddha on the road, watch the fuck out, ya little punks.

        • I'm not sure how many of us got that, but it's one of my fave koans. Modified, of course.

          • Geminisunmars

            Now I have to kill you for revealing that.

          • This is exactly why I love you.

          • Geminisunmars

            It isn't often I get a love note for threatening death. I love you back.

          • I'll admit to being an odd duck.

      • I will *never* think less of you for having fun that didn't really hurt anyone.

        ETA: Forgot your hug.

    • finallyhappy

      I already tell handsome young men that they are handsome. I'm old enough to be their mom/grandmom

      • Lascauxcaveman

        But you aren't, so … well, you never know!

      • AddHomonym

        We love those kinds of compliments! (See what I did there?)

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      I was hobblin' around on a cane a couple of years ago for a few weeks. I immediately noticed how I was treated by strangers in public. I'm sure most of the treatment was just out of politeness but I think some of it was because people thought to themselves: "Don't fuck with this one, he's got a cane."

    • Use an umbrella instead. Cuter but just as lethal.

  • An_Outhouse

    Cat fight! Get out the hose.

  • An_Outhouse


  • Dashboard Buddha

    Domestic terrorist

  • Callyson

    the only time it is okay to spit in someone’s face is if you are a very old lady, because then you can do what the fuck you want

    So I have a reason to look forward to getting old–glad to hear it. Maybe I'll skip the Botox after all…

  • SaintRond

    That's cool, but me, I urinate on their fuckin' shoes.

    • rickmaci

      The Repubies are already doing that to us and trying to convince us it's rain that will break the drought.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      a trickle down protest

    • Well, you ARE a honey badger …

  • Beowoof

    Hey if more democratic politicians had the balls of this woman would be in much less trouble.

  • SaintRond

    About this ad – unless you have a college degree, don't even think about joining the Navy, unless your idea of fun is three straight years of cleaning toilets and scraping paint with a chisel.

    Just sayin', be careful.

    • Mojopo

      I wish we all could spit more and explode each other less.

    • Angry_Marmot

      They should go back to offering rum, sodomy and the lash.

      • Well, yes, but how gay do you WANT the Navy to be?

    • "Sweepers, man your brooms! Clean sweep, fore & aft!"

  • Texan_Bulldog

    This woman better hope Romney doesn't win. They will be stripping her Medicare & Social Security stat!

    • tessiee

      Or, you could flip it the other way and figure that since they're gonna put her out onto the ice floe anyway, she's got nothing to lose, so she may as well get her spits in while she can.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        She decided to make her opinion known while she was still physically capable of producing spit before Medicare "reform" kicked in.

  • KotBR

    She wasn't really being rude, per say, just showing these 'Women for Mitt' what the Romney/Ryan campaign really thinks of working class women. Honesty in politics and all that.

  • I can see Mary in the parking lot leaning against a car, arms crossed, tapping her orthopedic shoe… laying in wait

    • Mojopo

      Mary Hogland doesn't need the white man's rules to validate her shit. She is stone-cold Pussy Rioting.

  • The_Lucky_Wife

    When Romney ships the jobs of the "nice" ladies overseas, I'm betting they won't shout "Romney," but will be spitting in someone's face, preferably Romney's.

    • Yes, Women for Romney DO work. But the work is raising children with the help of a nanny and a professional cleaning service. IT'S A JERB!!!!!!!!!

    • not that Dewey

      No, they'll still blame Obama, for allowing Romney to ship the jobs overseas.

  • shelwood46

    The other women kind of lost the moral high ground when they immediately starting smashing her in the head with their fists. Luckily, they are weak and ineffectual. Well, not luck. You gotta pick your targets when face spitting.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    It's only "stand your ground" if you shoot 'em in the face.
    Next time this old lady should just bust a cap in the threatening persons face and she will become a darling of the right also.

    • This. Or refuse to let them pay for a cookie with an ebt coupon.

    • tessiee

      Yeah, that never woulda happened if Granny had been packing heat in between the Werthers' in her big ol' grandma pockabook.

      • I actually knew a grammy who carried. She'd been attacked on a dark street one night and swore it would never happen again. She blew away the guys trying to mug her the second time. I think it upset her almost as much as it upset them, but couldn't confirm that, since she kilt them daid.

  • SexySmurf

    That 83-year-old lady is a slut who wants to force me to pay for her birth-control pills.

    • Cue the Rush siren.

    • zumpie

      And doubtless one of teh poors. And thus, inferiror and unworthy.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I know he would never………….but just had a vision of Barack dousing Jan Brewer while she was poking him.

    • My fantasy: when he comes out to give his celebratory speech on his re-election day he looks straight into the camera, gives that Barack Grin®, shakes his finger and says, "This one's for you, Jan Brewer."

      • Blueb4sinrise

        Would be sweet. He wouldn't do that either. Maybe Uncle Joe.

        • I know. I'd love if he would, but he really *is* above all that shit. Dammit.

        • Yes, our president is very mannerly, even in the face of temper tantrums and word salad.But, by all means, I would settle for a righteous outburst from Uncle Joe.Good call.

    • tessiee

      "Barack dousing Jan Brewer while she was poking him"

      Just as well that he didn't; it might have hydrated her.

    • Negropolis

      I always just imagined him cold biting off that digit that lizard calls a finger. Like the reptile she is, it would probably grow back, anyway, so I wouldn't feel so bad.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Your move, Roberto Alomar.

    • rocktonsam

      Yadi Molina too, also

  • coolhandnuke

    In political protest lingo, it's called a Golden Girls Shower.

    • tessiee

      For the love of all that is holy, do NOT google that!

    • Negropolis

      I thought that was when a person of a certain age throws their urostomy bag at you in disgust/protest.

  • When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
    And spit in the faces of those who don't suit me.
    And if they grab me and try to quiet me
    They will get a loogie.

    Also, Red Hats are for Linux developers.

    • tessiee

      When I am an old woman, I shall go out dancing, cook meals for my friends, explore the world, and bang my brains out with brainy men.
      I already have enough purple clothes to open a goddamn store.

    • I thought *every*body knew that.

    • viennawoods13

      I HATE those red hat women. I am now eligible to join- never, not in a million years, thank you very much.

  • Boojum

    Today we are all Mary Hoglund.

  • Not a fan of that. (Retreats behind barricade of salad bar spit shields)

  • glamourdammerung

    Oh great. Now the Party of Limbaugh is going to need the fainting couch to get over the vapors from this.

  • ElPinche

    Sounds like Romney's women are just too slow. When you hear that hock sound "krRrrrrkrr," you run . It's common sense policy. …whores.

    • Pinche, man, if you're gonna say that, you gotta change your av. Bitch looks like she's about to hock a loogie right on me.

  • marconidarwin

    How can Romney stand up to al Qaeda if he cannot even protect innocent Americans from old ladies? At least Paul Ryan would have had his security team wrestle the witch to the ground.
    RY-AN RY-AN…

  • Hi mom!

  • SigDeFlyinMonky

    Great Expectorations.

    • foxypuppet

      The Dickens you spray!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It was the best of phlegms; it was the worst of phlegms…"

    • Lascauxcaveman

      The Spitwick Papers.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Martin Chuzzelspit.

      • not that Dewey

        David Cougherfield

        • The Mystery of Edwin Drooled

          • not that Dewey

            Blech House

          • Our Mutual Phlegmed

          • not that Dewey

            Dammit! I was going to do Our Mucosal Friend. Now I have to think of something else.

            Oh, wait!

            The Saliva Adventures of Nicholas Spittleby

  • Geminisunmars

    No snark here – I applaud the bravery of that woman, standing up in that nest of Stepfordians.

  • DCBloom

    When we were working for the Obama campaign in 08, an old lady called my hubby a "traitor to his race". When he laughed and said what race is that, HUMAN? The old biddy spit on him.

    He will feel so redeemed today

    • If only your husband had seized his moment of fame and taken that story to the media. Then again, the TV stations are all owned by people who agree with the old lady so … PR fail.

      But congrats to him in any case. He's a brave patriot.

    • finallyhappy

      People in my office asked me why I wasn't voting for Hillary because we had much in common(white women with advanced degrees?- although hers is more advanced than mine). I said that's not how I vote but how do you know what I do or don't have in common with Barack Obama?

    • Give yourself and your hubby big hugs from La Casa de Los Gatos for bravely facing up to that kind of shit. Thanks for helping POTUS get elected!

      • DCBloom

        Aw thanks, Borg. Although, to be honest, it's a fond memory. You shoulda seen the look on his face…. of course, it's easy to laugh when you know you're gonna win.

        • No, thank YOU for doing what you did. I used to go to every damn political rally and work on just about every campaign, and I really miss doing that. I love the excitement of A Righteous Cause.

    • Negropolis

      I'm confused…isn't our president half white?

      • bobbert

        But that half is overwhelmed by the way excessive black half. It's in the Imaginary Constitution.

  • foxypuppet

    She is very lucky the Romney women did not spit back- I hear they all have venom sacs…

  • The "Women for RMoney" folks ought to be damn glad spittin' grannie wasn't exercising her 2nd amendment rights. Just sayin…

  • Dashboard Buddha

    The mama looked down and she spit on the ground
    Every time Romney gets mentioned
    The papa said "hey, if I had my way, that fucker'd never win another election

    • Good-bye Ra-faaaalca,
      Dud of the Olympics.
      It's me and Buddha down by the school yard.

    • Riggsveda

      I just sang that to my partner-in-theft. We howled. That's fine work, there.

    • tessiee

      Goodbye Ry-yy-an,
      the queen of the Rand nuts,
      It's me and Barry down by the schoolyard…

    • I'm on my way, don't know where I'm goin'

      Yeah. Fired up and READY TO GO.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    if you really want to piss those old ladies off and throw the whole place into utter chaos, just stand at the back of the room and yell "BINGO!"

  • Limeylizzie

    I am severely repulsed by spitting, or gobbing as we call it. I would have gone with what I did to Janet Oliver, outside my high school when I was about 13, a knuckle-sandwich to fell her to the ground followed by a kick to the mouth.

    • Sadly, since Americans have no couth, we have made the knuckle-sandwich a felony, where as gobbing … rarely more than a misdemeanor. Unless the spitting occurs on the golf course, in which case I believe the death penalty applies.

  • BlueStateLibel

    OK, who's mother/grandmother was this?

  • Now I want to eliminate Planned Parenthood EVEN MORE!!!1!1

  • Fluffy_Kitties

    In the video, you can see that the Repuke harpy verbally assaulted the old lady, shouting at her within inches of her face. It's a physical provocation to blast someone with your shrieking breath at close range. The old lady spat back at the harpy in retaliation, and the harpy then assaulted her with her fist. Nothing worse than what you'd see in a typical bar room brawl.

    • finallyhappy

      I don't spit but I do say Fuck off- which people don't expect when they see me(if they don't know me)

  • That bitch who got in her face is a real winner though, holy shit… was she telling her "SHUT UP!"??? I didn't realize getting nose to nose on your opposition while streams of red faced opprobrium usher forth constituted "constructive dialog."

    • Riggsveda

      She also kept touching her. Who keeps laying hands on somone they've got surrounded? That's like an engraved invitation to an assault.

      • CthuNHu

        You know who else got physical with dissenters they had surrounded?

  • ahnc

    The upside is it's better to be spat upon than gunned down with an AK47!

  • Guppy

    The Greatest Generation.

  • ttommyunger

    Odd, judging from the collective groan of the crowd in reaction to someone getting spat upon they seem to strongly disapprove. On the other hand, creating conditions whereby women are more susceptible to Uterine/Breast Cancer is just fucking ducky.

    • lulzmonger

      Some will get inoperable tumors … others, tiny American flags!

      • ttommyunger

        And probably the wrong ones will get the Flags.

  • zumpie

    No snark here, seriously, nothing better than a cool, progressive old person. And they DO exist! Bet we see this lady on the MSNBC shows next week.

  • AddHomonym

    Most definitely. Just lift up your skirt and do a little can-can. That will be our signal. [smile face]

  • carlgt1

    my first reaction is that wasn't nice, and it will just be spun ad nauseum about how "liberals aren't civil" etc, but then I thought "a 'Women for Romney' group is about as absurd as 'African-Americans for the KKK" — so spit away, granny!

    • Hmm, good point. Chickens for Colonel Sanders!

      • carlgt1

        or "Gay Chickens for Chick-Fil-A!"

        • Back in the day, I had the hugest collection of Gay Comix. I think they're defunct now, but they would've had so much fun with Chik-fil-A.

  • orygoon

    I'm setting up a fund to buy pitchforks for elderly women.

  • tbogg

    Mary Hoglund should have cut that orange-coated bitch

  • PuglyDoRight

    A bunch of nasty old bitchy women. I'd spit on 'em too.

  • rocktonsam

    Shame on liberal shosholist spitty grandma getting those "women for Rmoney," all 2 dozen of them, panties in a bunch.

    • I like that lady. I bet if she were younger and stronger, she would've ripped off all their panties and stuck 'em on those stupid cows' heads.

  • moseyon

    Spit was used a lot in the old day, before ointments and balms were used. So when this insect attacked her, she spat on it before it could bite her.

    • Man, I was drinking TEA when I read that. (wipes off computer screen)

  • DahBoner

    Both sides do it.

  • lulzmonger

    Today we are all octogenarian lungbutter.

    This is EXACTLY like the Rand Paul aide stomping on that hippy-lady's head … or the OWS girl getting pepper-sprayed point-blank in the mug … or … (your favorite anecdote of casual right-wing brutality goes here)!

  • Negropolis

    One of us! Ones of us!

    Really, though, "Women for Romney"?! What next, Hebrews for Hitler? Yeah, I totally went there, Godwin.

    • valgal2342

      I know…..I cannot stand conservative women, they are a pox on our gender.
      Years ago at a restaurant I overheard a woman say, "Abortion is evil, think of all the future tax payers it kills!"

    • *SOME*buddy had to, amirite?

  • BZ1

    Did you miss the hit to the head delivered by "Zip It" lady dingbat?

  • thurufally

    If you look closely, you can clearly see a second spitter on the grassy knoll.

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