DERP DERP WHERE'S THE CIVILITY  4:40 pm August 17, 2012

The State Department Now Responding To ‘HILLARY VP???” Questions With Poetry

by Jim Newell

Is this a Hillary picture?The very serious “DUMP BIDEN 4 HILLARY?” speculation that our pal Ed Henry questioned the White House press secretary about yesterday got a real kick today when author Ed Klein, who’s right up there with World Net Daily in terms of credibility, reported (/talked to his own butt) that Hillary Clinton rejected the vice presidency two weeks ago. The Weekly Standard went seeking confirmation and got a nice little poem from one of Clinton’s aides in response.

But the secretary of state’s staff is denying that this reported lunch between Clinton and top Obama aide Valerie Jarrett even took place, ever.

In an email from a State Department spokesman to THE WEEKLY STANDARD, Philippe Reines, a longtime Clinton confidant, channels his inner Dr. Seuss to shoot down the report:

“This did not happen
“They did not have lunch
“They did not have any meal
“They did not meet this month
“They did not meet last month
“They did not meet in 2012
“They did not meet in 2011, 2010, 2009
“This is not happening
“Truth is that Ed Klein is an idiot with not a shred of credibility
“Truth is that Ed Klein’s motto is ‘If at first you don’t succeed, lie lie again.’”

National Security Council spokesperson Tommy Vietor added, “Happening now in Dan’s cubicle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjoMQJf5vKI.” (It is a video called “Beating a Dead Horse.”) Weekly Standard scribe Daniel Halper mused that Vietor may have been referring to the cubicle of White House communications director Dan Pfeiffer, after which Vietor told Halper, “By the way, I was definitely referring to your cubicle.”

These Democrats are the meanest sort of people. Why can’t they make Hillary Clinton vice president right now just to get the conservative media off their backs?

[Weekly Standard]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 171 comments }

Baconzgood August 17, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I gotta say that response is FUCKING AWSOME!!!!!!

I wonder what commenter he is on Wonkette..

SorosBot August 17, 2012 at 4:53 pm

It's great; really the wingnut bullshit should always be dismissed like that.

Callyson August 17, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Today, we are all Philippe Reines…

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Wow, I am SO enjoying this New Democratic Party NOW WITH MOAR BALLZ!

Beowoof August 17, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I for one am loving these guys actually fighting back instead of just rolling over and playing dead.

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Me too! And Soledad O'Brien is publicly gutting and filleting the last of the loons. The Opsec people just got new assholes from her today.

Toomush_Infer August 17, 2012 at 5:29 pm

It's like that crazy William Blake: "They became what they beheld…."

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 5:41 pm

For they stared too long into the abyss, and we all know what results.

Is it wrong of me to enjoy this so much? Is it just part of the kray-kray cycle and I'll crash like a mammoth when reality hits again? Ah, fuck it. Pour me another. It's Friday. Let the ass-kicking commence!

Geminisunmars August 18, 2012 at 12:04 pm

If this is wrong, let's not be right.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Haha! I grab your hands and dance around the room with you, VIRTUALLY!

Butch_Wagstaff August 17, 2012 at 5:35 pm

It's about friggin' time.

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 5:42 pm

No shit. I'd grab you and dance around the room, but I haz a gimp. It's like a million Democrats suddenly, simultaneously grew spines.

Butch_Wagstaff August 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Dancing would be out for me as anyone who's seen me "dance" can tell you.

AncienReggie August 17, 2012 at 6:45 pm

I wish i could take this as a signal they're about to send federal troops into Pennsylvania and Ohio to enforce the right to vote. (Or at least officially ask Amnesty International to send an observer team.)

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 7:29 pm

I wish that too, with all my heart. But with the Republicans flipping out like demented lemmings in breeding season, they might not need to. I have a horrible feeling the Republican convention will degenerate into a free-for-all (which I sincerely hope it doesn't, because even if Republicans often annoy me, I can't wish that kind of harm on anybody) and the outcome will be a landslide for the President.

janicket August 19, 2012 at 3:00 am

I'm counting on the Paulbots to stage an insurrection that leaves the convention in a shambles that makes Somalia look like a well-ordered society.

MittBorg August 19, 2012 at 2:41 pm

You *know* it's gonna happen. Just yesterday, the pro-life Xtians FINALLY got wind of Romney's abortion munnies ($50 million), and the RonPaultrads are doing a Scream-and-Leap attack that would make the Kzin proud. I don't know what-all's gonna happen, but I'm tellin' ya, from where I sit it don't look good.

nounverb911 August 17, 2012 at 4:45 pm

“Beating a Dead Horse.”
Rafalca?

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Don't SAY that! Rafalca was just interviewed by Esquire, and said some mean (but true) things about Mitt&Ann. I hope they didn't send the poor little horsie to the glue factory.

Butch_Wagstaff August 17, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I caught bits of the Ann's NBC interview last night. I had to stop watching it because I didn't want to throw up my stomach.

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 5:43 pm

That must've been worse than even I thought. Was that the one where she leaned in close to the interviewer hissing about the GALL of the little people in attacking her and Mitt for their munnies?

MilwaukeeKent August 17, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Well, after all, we ARE those people, with small minds, like "The Nail Lady" who can vote and rude questions about personal finances, most indiscreet, we are.

Butch_Wagstaff August 17, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Isn't that pretty much EVERY interview with Ann?
Shit, they should have just had her on, stroking another fuckin' pony…
Interviewer: What about all the other tax returns?
Ann (blank look): I'm sorry, what are those?
Interviewer: The other tax returns that haven't been released?
Ann (smiles): I'm sorry I don't know what you mean. There are no such things in Pony-Prancing Land. (looks endearingly at pony) Isn't that right, Princess Millions?

zippy_w_pinhead August 17, 2012 at 5:17 pm

No no he's not dead, he's, he's resting!

Beowoof August 17, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Rafalca is on the menu at Fouquett on the Champs Elysees

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Oh, man, me and Raf been friends for AT LEAST a week! Say it ain't so!

HogeyeGrex August 17, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Pining for the fjords.

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 12:11 am

Inside, of course, and with votes, mais oui.

tiredalways August 17, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Just reading that response makes me realize how intelligent our side of the camp is :)

SorosBot August 17, 2012 at 4:46 pm

This proves that Hillary Clinton is going to challenge Obama in the primaries!

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I think it also proves that a certain SorosBot might be rinsing his underroos in a certain Miss's sink soon. (Leers helpfully at SorosBot)

SorosBot August 17, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Hey now, I haven't worn underoos since I was eight!

widestanceromance August 17, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I think MB used the world's strangest euphemism ever for something else, whatever that might be.

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 4:58 pm

This is where I sit back and snicker and watch y'all try to figure out WTF it was. (I haven't a clue either, if that helps.)

arihaya August 17, 2012 at 6:26 pm

retroactively ..

Nothingisamiss August 17, 2012 at 11:16 pm

I mean, she hasn't even addressed the issue!

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 3:14 pm

And she's not going to. Dressage horses wouldn't drag it … um, never mind.

nounverb911 August 17, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Isn't the last line of the poem supposed to be: "Green eggs and ham"?

coolhandnuke August 17, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I said what I meant, I meant what I said,
I’m hung like an elephant,
and I pooped in your bed.
–Handsome Joe

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I can just SEE Handsome Old Joe Biden saying stuff like that.

emmelemm August 17, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Damn, that's 2 awesome "comments of the day" in a row!

coolhandnuke August 17, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Your praise is too generous, but much appreciated. I does ease the sting–to craft some therapeutic words–after hearing my 400 page outlaw love song will not be published.

Callyson August 18, 2012 at 12:01 am

Now we know what Jill Biden sees in him…

JK, I like good ol' Joe, but somehow, I can believe the hung like an elephant bit…

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 12:13 am

It's so immature, but I laughing like a genuinely excited hyena.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I know. It's OK, we're all embarrassing ourselves here.

DrunkIrishman August 17, 2012 at 4:47 pm

We'll be waist deep in Obama's second term and these fucking rumors will continue to float around the interwebs because some people are so fucking dense, so fucking devoid of reality, that they can't accept Hillary Clinton will never be Obama's veep. You'd think these fuckers would take a hint but obviously not.

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 5:47 pm

I fully expect that, a decade or more from now when I am lowered into my grave, the cretins of every city and county will speak in hushed tones of a Blah President who once took the hand of the Golden-Haired VeepLady and brought the country back from oblivion.

tiredalways August 17, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Obligatory – that definitely is good news for O' Joe..

docteur_giraud August 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm

"Good news" is always good news for John McCain.

RadioBowels August 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Doesn't "klein" mean small dick in German?

MonkeyMotion August 17, 2012 at 5:23 pm

That, or 'butt face'

Limeylizzie August 17, 2012 at 6:46 pm

I think "Klein" is a dick in any language.

AncienReggie August 17, 2012 at 6:55 pm

No, you're thinking of Morris, Dick Morris. Which oddly enough also means "fecal fungus" in Basque.

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Ancient Basque, or Modern?

gullywompr August 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm

You gotta Seuss it down to their level. Love ya, Philippe!

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 5:48 pm

You *know* this guy? Give him a big hug from me.

gullywompr August 17, 2012 at 9:14 pm

No. He's above my pay grade.

IonaTrailer August 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm

We'll run Hil in 2016 – after we kick the shit out of these morons in 2012.

tiredalways August 17, 2012 at 4:55 pm

you really meant mormon, didn't ya?

gullywompr August 17, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Nah, she's done with statesmanship. She'll be moving over to work with an NGO or two on international women's issues. She'll make an impact doing that, also too.

bikerlaureate August 17, 2012 at 5:17 pm

HRC / Warren 2016 ?

With Sanders as Secretary of Awesomeness, and maybe Franken as National Security Adviser ??

Nothingisamiss August 17, 2012 at 11:17 pm

*swoon*

Sharkey August 17, 2012 at 4:51 pm

These are not the pantsuits you're looking for.

sbj1964 August 17, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Say it isn't so Joe.

Generation[redacted] August 17, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Wait, so does this mean Hillary is on the ticket or not?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 17, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Let's see, since now all it takes to be a news story is to have people with no influence on the other side speculate about something that no one on the side that matter cares about, can we get all the liberal blogs to start posting about when Paul Ryan will ask Romney to step down so he can run for president because of all his gaffs and flip flops?

I would love to see how Romney's spokesperson will handle that when Ed Henry asks if Romney will step down for the good of the ticket.

An_Outhouse August 17, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Is all this because Snowbilly is under contract to flap her yap with Van Sustern and couldn't think of anything to say so went with 'replace Biden'? Really? This is our political discourse? We live in bizarro world.

SexySmurf August 17, 2012 at 4:57 pm

There once was a handsome old Joe
Who people said had to go.
It's a big fucking deal
They did not have any meal.
Ed Klein is a media ho.

TootsStansbury August 17, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Oh yay a happy post!

Mittens Howell, III August 17, 2012 at 5:00 pm

That Mitt-I-am
That Mitt-I-am
I do not like that Mitt-I-am

I do not like your whiteboard sham
I do not like your off-shore scams

I would not like you over here
I would not like you over there
I would not like you anywhere

I do not like your Medicare 'plan'
I do not like you Mitt-I-am

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 7:35 pm

This is how much I liked your comment: I tried to upfist it and ID told me I HAD ALREADY VOTED ON IT!!!

Which means I voted on it RETROACTIVELY!

Stevola August 18, 2012 at 12:36 am

See, this is why they want us to show photo IDs.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I'm scandalized.

coolhandnuke August 17, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Ode to Ed Klein

Now, please
don't ask why; no one quite knows the reason.
It could be, perhaps, that
his panties were too tight.
Or it could be that his wingnuts weren't screwed
on just right.
But I think that the most likely reason of all… may
have been that his dick was two sizes too small.

MacRaith August 17, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Ah, so if the meeting where she rejected the vice presidency never took place, then Hillary Clinton DIDN'T reject the vice presidency! She's on the ticket, folks!

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 17, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Democrats with a sense of humor. Didn't think I would see it in my life. Awesome.

HobbesEvilTwin August 17, 2012 at 5:10 pm

and balls! finally talking to the knuckle draggers in language they can understand.

gullywompr August 17, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Funny balls! Get that guy a gig here on Wonkette!

Or, maybe we should all be spokespersons…

vodkamuppet August 17, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Barney Frank has been killing it for years! It's nice to see him finally get some company, just in time for retirement.

Joshua Norton August 17, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Wingnutz want Hillary on the ticket so they can use up the gigabytes of nasty articles they have stored on their hard drives just waiting for them to press "print".

This is probably their last chance.

Chet Kincaid_ August 17, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Ah yes, the 2007-8 "we really respect Hillz, she has to be your nominee" strategy.

fawkedifiknow August 17, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Maybe the idjits should think about changing their veep choice while they still can.

MinAgain August 17, 2012 at 5:10 pm

One fist.
Two fist.
Red pissed.
Blue kissed.

Chow Yun Flat August 17, 2012 at 5:11 pm

They did not have lunch
E'en though Klein had a hunch
We don't listen much
Because he is such

A lying sack of shit.

Lascauxcaveman August 17, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I did not veep her in a plane
I did not veep her on a train
I did not veep her in a box
I did not veep her with a fox
I did not veep her in her sleep
I did not veep her with a sheep
I did not veep her here or there
I did not veep her anywhere.

(It's fun to make the word 'veep' sound like a really filthy verb.)

Sharkey August 17, 2012 at 5:18 pm

It already did, but thanks anyway!

pinkocommi August 17, 2012 at 5:13 pm

It is good to write like Dr Seuss when communicating with conservatives since they are no smarter than the average 6 year old.

Mittens Howell, III August 17, 2012 at 6:03 pm

I can't read all by myself! (R)

FlownOver August 17, 2012 at 10:57 pm

First grade libel!

Sharkey August 17, 2012 at 5:13 pm

You're a monster Mr. Klein
Your heart deserves some pain
Your brain is full of spiders
You’ve got garlic in your soul Mr. Klein
I wouldn’t touch you with a
39 and a half Foot chain

Guppy August 17, 2012 at 5:14 pm

2012: Summer of the Zombie PUMA!

Blueb4sinrise August 17, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Oh geez. The Village is gonna squeeze the goo right out of their pearls.

Chet Kincaid_ August 17, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Monsieur Reines' poem is even lovelier in the original French…

ILS N'ONT PAS

Ce n'est pas arrivé
Ils n'ont pas eu le déjeuner
Ils n'ont pas tous les repas
Ils ne répondaient pas ce mois-ci
Ils ne répondaient pas le mois dernier
Ils ne répondaient pas en 2012
Ils ne répondaient pas en 2011, 2010, 2009
Ce n'est pas le cas
La vérité est que Ed Klein est un idiot de ne pas l'ombre d'une crédibilité
La vérité est que la devise Ed Klein est, "Si au début vous ne réussissez pas, mentir mentir encore."

…or so Google Translate would have us believe.

Katydid August 17, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Damn and I was going to be so impressed with your mad translating skillz.

Chet Kincaid_ August 17, 2012 at 6:28 pm

J'aime la vérité plus que les points-pee!

Katydid August 17, 2012 at 11:11 pm

ha! i have been away so long, my pee is so low…although I just got up to 100, yay for me!

I've been working from home a lot, so I get to play during the day.

pdiddycornchips August 17, 2012 at 6:27 pm

French? That's so two elections ago.

Chet Kincaid_ August 17, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Is Mittens denying he's ever been there now?

ChillBill August 17, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Fox News: Dr.Seuss-loving Lesbian Cabal running the State Department.

zippy_w_pinhead August 17, 2012 at 5:20 pm

under Sharia Law, also too

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 12:20 am

One caliph, under Allah, indivisible…

SorosBot August 17, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Media blowhards really should stop pointlessly speculating on flights of fancy that are just not going to happen. No reelection campaign has ever switched the VP nominee in modern times; the last time it happened was when Ford replaced Rockefeller with Dole back in 76, and even then it was special circumstances where neither the President or VP had ever been elected; before that the last time it happened was when FDR replaced Henry Wallace with Truman, and that was a different era when the party selected the VP nominee and not the (candidate for) President.

It's not gonna happen; a sitting President today would drop a VP due to death or major scandal. Stop it.

MilwaukeeKent August 17, 2012 at 7:44 pm

McGovern-Eagleton in '72, replaced by McGovern-Shriver, there's that. But all this talk is so much wishful thinking the Right is trying to get traction with, absolutely without luck. If they could get the President to have to address it it would throw Obama off-balance (which I don't thnk can be done) and distract discussion from Medicare scares and tax returns. The bump from Ryan was smaller than expected and has likely peaked already, so what next for them? They don't know either. They're one accidental weapons discharge at the Tampa Convention away from looming disaster. This "Biden unift, replace w/ Hilary" meme must have been thought up by Luntz or Rove under the influence of a head-pounding hangover and too little sleep.

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 8:01 pm

I thought 'accidental weapons discharge' was the leading cause of divorce among Republican men.

MilwaukeeKent August 17, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Accidents happen! Ask any strict Catholic…(suddenly realizing I typed "Biden unift,…" two hours ago, oy!)

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Hahaha. Oh god. No need to. Half my Catholic friends have "Irish twins." "But the doctor said I *couldn't* get pregnant while BREASTfeeding!"

bobbert August 19, 2012 at 3:24 am

"Sitting President".

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 12:24 am

I still think there is a possibility simply for the fact that Biden isn't running, and I can't imagine Obama wanting to leave 2016 open. I always doubted he'd do it in his first term, but I always got the sense that before the convention when he essentially asked Hillary to stand down there was some kind of exchange, like she gets an option in a second term if she wants it.

I do not for a minute believe someone as shrewd as her and who could have caused so much mischief sat down with him and got nothing but the SoS seat out of it. People who followed this very closely (myself included and a rather non-partisan way, which is to say I'd have been happy with either and wasn't as convinced about Obama as his early, rabid supporters seemed to be) remember how voltile the late-spring/early summer months were after the South Dakota primary. There was all kinds of talk about the possibility of an issurrection at the convention until Hillary had to tell her people to stand down.

viennawoods13 August 18, 2012 at 10:09 am

Realize that I am Canadian so I have no direct interest in this- except that it's fascinating and I live right across Lake Erie from Ohio, so in case of invasion I'm right on the front line.

However, the biggest argument against Hilary as prez was in my opinion her name. Seriously. Is the US an oligarchy or what?
41- Bush 42-Clinton 43- Bush 44-Clinton . Especially with all the buzz about Jeb being likely to run in future, that sounds more like a banana republic than a democracy.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 3:23 pm

He paid off her debts, remember. She was a *terrible* money manager and ended her campaign in HUGE debt, with LOTS of angry small-businesspeople who had extended her campaign credit. She did not pay them timely, and by the time of the convention, a lot of people were really upset with her. Obama very graciously offered to help pay off her debts, and he did. Obama would NEVER have given Hillary his right-hand position. He's a hella strategic thinker, and that would have been a death sentence for him, lurking in the shadow of the Clintons.

BZ1 August 17, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Isn't this a Faux News invention?

Doktor Zoom August 17, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Daniel K Halper will you PLEASE GO NOW!

Barrelhse August 17, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Fuck you.

zippy_w_pinhead August 17, 2012 at 5:30 pm

didn't see yours until after I posted mine- they both work though…

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Simple. Elegant. To the point.

DerrickWildcat August 17, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I like his hair cut.

marconidarwin August 17, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Shh, it is really CLINTON PALIN 2012. Todd was meant to be VEEP… or CREEP, one of the two, I'm sure.

Mittens Howell, III August 17, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say….

Low tax.
No tax.
Whose tax?
Mitt’s tax.

Who pays Mitt’s tax?
We pay Mitt’s tax.

Who sees you hide Mitt’s low tax, sir?
WE see you hide Mitt’s low tax, sir!

That's not easy, Mr Voter.

zippy_w_pinhead August 17, 2012 at 5:28 pm

pretty good poem, but I would have gone with

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Ed Henry's an asshole
And so are you

barto August 17, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Maybe they should do a three-way with Hilz? Freeper heads exploding everywhere!

arihaya August 17, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Obama should make wingnuts talking heads assplode by making Huma Abedin the next Secretary of State ..

.. for the lulz

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 7:40 pm

Man, there would be ruptured aortas EV'where!

iburl August 17, 2012 at 5:32 pm

“My friends”, he announced in a voice of a liar,
“My name is Willard Mitt Romney, Esquire.
And I’ve heard of Your troubles. I’ve heard you’re unhappy.
But I can fix that, I’m the Fix-It-Up Chappie.

I’ve come here to help you.
I have what you need.
And my taxes are low. I flip-flop with great speed.
And my win is one hundred per cent guaranteed!”

Then, quickly, Willard Mitt Romney, Esquire.
Realized his polling results were quite dire
And he said, “You want a ticket with a Rand-Reading Veep?
My friends, you can have him for three million each!”

“Just pay me your money and hop right aboard!”
So they clambered inside. Then the Fox machine roared.
And it klonked. And it bonked. And it jerked. And it berked.
And it bopped them about. But the thing really worked!
When the Rand-Reading Veep popped out, they saw stars!
Starbursts of joy seeing Ayn Rand's butt-boy thar!

Lascauxcaveman August 17, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Ah, that's great. Why can't we have a Star-Bellied preznit?

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 7:42 pm

How do you know we don't already?

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Is *everybody* on the fucking Wonketz just a hidden FOUNT of talent? DOODZ!!

fuflans August 18, 2012 at 1:13 am

so very nice. thx.

Pithaughn August 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Does this come on a bumper sticker?

T3rbo August 17, 2012 at 5:35 pm

The right is just trying to do to us what they did to themselves. I mean, really, Paul Ryan? DREAM candidate, for democrats. To the repub mind, Hilary is the dream candidate to run against: she killed Vince Foster, IT TAKES A VILLAGE. Also, Sharia law, I think.

IonaTrailer August 17, 2012 at 5:48 pm

The Villages … Central Florida hell-hole…..full of the walking dead. Scariest place I've ever seen.

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 12:30 am

Hillary killed Vince Foster in The Village? I saw that (terrible) movie, and you're doing it wrong.

Toomush_Infer August 17, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Wait, I heard Willard is responding to the pressures of his own party by dropping Blue Eyes for the Palinator… I think somebody said it over lunch…

MilwaukeeKent August 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm

I heard that too.

Stevola August 18, 2012 at 12:45 am

Somebody posted that on a blog

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 3:26 pm

(Looks around nervously) I Tweeted it!

Designer_Rants August 17, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Anyone see this Bizarro World ad from Wing Nut Daily? LET THE CRAZIES TALK CRAZY AT THE REPIG PARTY! IT'S FUN! CONSTITUSHYUNZ1!! FREEEEDUMB!!!!1
http://bit.ly/PrJwfb

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 7:48 pm

OMG. Wonderful. I can't wait to hear that bunch of mindless zombies blathering on. Maybe Herman Cain can grope a few more wimminz while he's there, and Grammy Scairy can fill up her coffers.

Tundra Grifter August 17, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Over at Media Matters for America you can the transcript of the interview Al Franken and Joe Conason had with Ed Klein after his crappy book about Sec. Clinton was published.
http://www.mediamatters.org/research/2005/06/24/k

I honestly do not understand how that idiot could walk out of his house after they roasted and toasted him.

Chet Kincaid_ August 17, 2012 at 5:42 pm

He is obviously coasting on confusion with the reputation of other Kleins like Joe and Ezra.

Chet Kincaid_ August 17, 2012 at 5:48 pm

No one knows what it's like
to pull the fad facts,
to pull the bad facts,
from Klein's behind.

FlownOver August 17, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Good. Now, smash your guitar.

Mittens Howell, III August 17, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Mr. Voter!
I hate this game, sir.
This game makes my tongue quite lame, sir.

Mr. Mitt, sir, what a shame, sir.

Let’s find something new to do now.
Let’s have lots of Boo Hoo Hoo now
Boo Hoo. Hoo Boo.
White whine, whiney whine.
Do you know who I am?
Do you know it’s My Time?

Horsey Glue for chewy chewing!
That’s for post-olympic doing.
Do you choose to chew glue, too, sir?
Or will a tax deduction do, sir,
Say ‘Rafalca': chew, sir.
Do, sir.

Mr. Voter,
I won't do it.
I can't say it.
I won't chew it.

Very well, Mitt.
Step this way.
We'll find another game to play.

Bain comes.
Pain comes…

Exhausted66 August 17, 2012 at 6:01 pm

This almost distracted me from the fact that Mitt Romney doesn't pay taxes.

Thurman Munster IV August 17, 2012 at 6:14 pm

A brain is a brain no matter how small

viennawoods13 August 18, 2012 at 10:15 am

A dick is a dick no matter how small.

pdiddycornchips August 17, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Okay, I think we put this Hilz replacing Handsome Joe biz to rest. Let the Huma speculation begin!!

Nostrildamus August 17, 2012 at 7:08 pm

“They did not have lunch
“They did not have any meal
“They did not meet this month
“They did not meet last month
“They did not meet in 2012
“They did not meet in 2011, 2010, 2009

So they met in 2008 over drinks, eh?

HarryButtle August 17, 2012 at 7:25 pm

“This did not happen
“They did not have lunch
“They did not have any meal
“They did not meet this month
“They did not meet last month
“They did not meet in 2012
“They did not meet in 2011, 2010, 2009
“This is not happening
“Truth is that Ed Klein is an idiot with not a shred of credibility
“Truth is that Ed Klein’s motto is ‘If at first you don’t succeed, lie lie again.’”

So, that's a definite maybe, right?

mrblifil August 17, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Wow, I thought conservatives hated us! Instead they're offering all this free unsolicited advice! FANTASTIC!!1!

MilwaukeeKent August 17, 2012 at 8:05 pm

So funny, they've assembled less than five minutes of mis-statements by Biden, from his entire career, as proof he's a gaffe-factory unfit for office. I can assemble at least that much from Sir Mittington just from the primaries, easily two hours of Palinisms, probably in excess of six hours of George W. Bush putting food on his family (so hard!) and wondering is our children learning.

mosjef August 17, 2012 at 8:41 pm

His response was sent in a chain letter

ttommyunger August 17, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I think Joe is a real asset to the Administration. His ol lady is hawt, too in a smart, classy and genuinely good way.

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 12:31 am

You can tell Jill was and still is a little firecracker.

ttommyunger August 18, 2012 at 8:23 am

Oh Yeah! Thass why Joe is always sporting that big smile!Sent from my iPhone

Warpde August 17, 2012 at 10:31 pm

"reported (/talked to his own butt):"
Typical asshole.

"There was a time when reading wasn't just for fags. And neither was writing. People wrote books and movies. Movies with stories, that made you care about whose ass it was and why it was farting. And I believe that time can come again! "
Pvt. Joe Bowers

Corrugated Palin August 17, 2012 at 10:40 pm

It's funny, but it's no Newt Gingrich press release.

Negropolis August 18, 2012 at 12:08 am

It did not happen with a fox
It did not happen in a box
It didn't happen here or there
It didn't happen, anywhere…

Ed Klein has an asshole two sizes too small.

Doktor Zoom August 18, 2012 at 11:18 am

This is Just to Say

We are keeping
the Veep
who you thought
belonged in
the icebox

and who
you were probably
frightened
to debate

Forgive us
he is delicious
so sweet
and so cold

DahBoner August 18, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Why can’t they make Hillary Clinton vice president right now just to get the conservative media off their backs?

One Weird Trick to Make John McCain's Mother Angry….

Halloween Jack August 21, 2012 at 3:20 pm

You know that Hillary wrote that herself. She's OG and can totally bust a rhyme when necessary.

widestanceromance August 17, 2012 at 5:05 pm

No way, I'm not even going to try.

starfanglednut August 17, 2012 at 5:13 pm

I remember. It's from last night.

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 5:31 pm

You get a hug ANYway. (hugs widestance)

SorosBot August 17, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Well whatever it might mean, it's not something the two of us will discuss publicly!

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Hey, pretty lady (hugs the star fondly)! Don't give my secrets away!

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 5:45 pm

You're quite right. Let us adjourn to quiet rooms. "You people" have seen all you need to. Stop being so small-minded.

MittBorg August 17, 2012 at 7:32 pm

I think "The Nail Ladies" would be a perfect name for an all-girl punk band.

But seriously, the snobbish attitude of the Romneys just really chaps my hide. The same elitist motherfuckers who can't lick Mitt's boots enough dare to call our Blah President "uppitty!"

MilwaukeeKent August 17, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Now, now, Rove laid down the rule after Obama won, "Don't say 'uppity', call him 'arrogant' instead." A little like Lee Atwater's "don't drop N-bombs, refer instead to 'States Rights" [quote not exact].

Obviously any perceived arrogance of the Romneys is just "those people" being small-minded. Makes me proud to be one of those people.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 17, 2012 at 11:02 pm

I am pretty sure it is physically impossible for two people with p-ness as large as yours to hug.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Me too. I'll be limping along right behind you holding my sign.

MittBorg August 18, 2012 at 3:13 pm

(Hugs BSFD) How you like *them* apples, huh?

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