burn them maybe

Business Booming For Hero Baker Who Tells Gross Food Stamp Families To Beat It

beat it, poorsWelfare. Isn’t it gross? Especially food stamps — pardon us, “EBT benefits” — where gadabouts just gad about all day, and then expect “society” to make sure their children don’t starve in the gutter. We are sorry, but we don’t think ur-American prophetess Ayn Rand would have had much good to say on the topic! At any rate, news comes from Boston that an American hero has put her foot down regarding accepting EBT benefits for her “sticky treats” at a farmers market where she has a stall! And when the news of this principled stand to not let jerk welfare people have pastries sped around the internets, the same large flock of right-thinking fascists — who mobbed first Chick-fil-A and then the idiot who wouldn’t let Joe Biden buy a cupcake — have been keeping this lady’s bakery full to bursting ever since. If you discriminate against queers, Poors, and Bidens, they will come!

The same people who think New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is Stalin on a stick for outlawing zeppelin-sized co-colas are thrilled to pieces with this lady for telling people on food stamps no they may not have a cookie. But it’s not hypocrisy because people on food stamps are leeches on the face of the taxpayer, and therefore it is up to the taxpayer to shame them from purchasing food.

Your Editrix remembers reading a Dear Abby column in a “news-paper” when she was young, where some crotchety bitch wrote in to moan that she had witnessed a food-stamp mom buying fresh strawberries. A ridiculous luxury, and how dare she, and WINGNUT FURIOUS and etc. Dear Abby pointed out that perhaps it was a special occasion — a child’s birthday, perhaps, let her HAVE SOME FUCKING STRAWBERRIES — and that even if it wasn’t, having a small luxury LIKE A BOX OF FUCKING STRAWBERRIES was perhaps necessary in the face of overwhelming privation.

Dear Abby also told that lady to stop being such a fucking cunt, and to mind her business. We would say the same thing to “Andrea Taber,” but she’s already minding her business, because mean-spirited spite-monsters have overrun it, throwing all the money in their wallets at her, to thank her for kicking a Poor.

[BostonHerald]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    When the cookie lady's business goes toes up she promises not to apply for welfare.

    • foxypuppet

      IT WILL NOT GOES TOES UP!!1!

      Sinserely,
      Koch Bros Bakerey Enterprices

    • eyeingrand

      We've heard that horseshit before, from Ayn Rand. Look how that turned out.

  • sbj1964

    The GOP Republican right is doing it's part to represent the Party of hate.The GOP (Greedy One Percent)

    • Boojum

      Is there anyone who has plans to go to Tampa and has considered being an undercover faux Craigslist bathroom goblin? With a video team and a group of followers to jump out and yell "Surprise!" at the appropriate moment?

      • LIT_Fag

        If Wonkette buys me the ticket, I will take one for the team. My focus
        would be Ryan, but will bring as many down as possible. Appropriate
        time= after ramming things down their throats and a happy ending for me.
        For all of us, really!

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    the same large flock of right-thinking fascists

    A ubiquitous cocktail of inbreeding and Type II diabetes.

    • chicken_thief

      The line of Hoverrounds seemed to go forever.

  • Baconzgood

    We have a french baker by my house (best bakery in town by far) and at the end of every day he gives his left over stuff to the homeless shelter.

    I'm just pointing out that not all bakers are ass holes.

    • sewollef

      It used to be a routine event in the UK [at least in my part of London and Cheshire where I'm from], whereby local bakeries would either give or sell their unsold bread/pastries for pennies to those who could least afford them — at the end of the day.

      Of course now the tories are back in power and I haven't lived in the old country for some 11 years, so things might be different. But I doubt it.

    • jaytingle

      Yes they are! All bakers are assholes. If there are even one or two who don't appear at first blush to be assholes, Former Secretary of State James A. Baker III more than makes up for them in assholeness.

      • MosesInvests

        That's James A. "F*ck the Jews" Baker, III.

      • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

        And let's not forget Jim and Tammy Faye.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      The donut shop next door to my work used to do this, and I didn't realize it until one Sunday afternoon, they dropped a huge box of donuts on us and said, "Here, want these? Food bank is closed today."

      Welfare queens' loss is my gain.

    • An_Outhouse

      What do expect from a 'french' baker?

      • sullivanst

        Yummy bread (that you gotta eat fresh because the crust'll cut you like a mouthful of razorblades after just a few hours out of the oven)?

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          Crust? I thought that was the bread's armor. I drop my bread off a 300 foot cliff to dash and slough its tricky capsule on the fearsome rocks below. Then I scurry down to fend for my meal from the savage seabirds and barking seals. But like a turtle, I never eat the shell.

    • tessiee

      There's an office where I worked at as a temp that had a big table in the front reception area for leftover baked goods from the local bakery, which also did that.

    • vodkamuppet

      I dunno, my sister married into the Bakers and every single one of them is an asshole.

  • Come here a minute

    She could at least let them lick the batter from the mixing bowl.

    • Callyson

      She'd hope that they would get salmonella.

      • sullivanst

        Probably would in Teabagtopia, since there'd be no food inspections.

  • IonaTrailer

    EBT benefits are limited to hobo beans and white bread.
    No fancy treats for the likes of you.

  • ChrisM2011

    Isn't it time that the GOP just changed it's logo to a cruel child pulling the wings off flies?

    • sullivanst

      Frying ants with a magnifying glass.

      Oh wait no, that's too sciencey. Right you are.

      • kissawookiee

        Besides, some undeserving Poor might stop by and eat the ants afterwards, being all deliciously fried, and we can't have that.

    • FakaktaSouth

      It is fascinating to watch the hoards of people who get off on being dicks – I mean, it is apparently a fundamental instinct in the people who are so attracted to the Chic-fil-A party and being able to show outloud (and on facebook, thank god for fb!) how much they hate their fellow man, just like Jesus did, and those who are disgusted and disheartened by such.

      • IonaTrailer

        After posting on Yelp last night about how unpleasant the baker in Virginia was, I awoke to find several hate emails. However they were addressed to my "special" email at gofcukyerself@microdick.org

      • Billmatic

        For a minute I thought you said it was fascinating to watch hordes of people get off on big dicks.

        • FakaktaSouth

          That is not so much fascinating as understandable, and much more enjoyable (and profitable apparently. Even with the huge crowds, I don't think pay per scorn would ever do as well as the porn industry)

          • Billmatic

            What about pay to scorn porn?

          • sullivanst

            There's a whole industry that's paid to scorn porn.

        • tessiee

          "hordes of people get off on big dicks"

          That would be *whores* of people.

          • FakaktaSouth

            If loving big dicks makes me a whore, I'm really fine with that I guess. Wait, we're talking about penises, and not the ones who would prevent a child from eating a strawberry, yes? Cause THOSE dicks can go fuck themselves.

      • UnholyMoses

        Ohdearlord … THAT'S my brother-in-law.

        So long as his family isn't affected, he doesn't give a fuck about anyone else. He doesn't give to charity, won't let people merge on the highway, nothin'.

        Of course, his mommy and daddy have given him everything he wants since forever — college, a job, trips to Vegas, new cars, etc.

        Amazing how those who have never known want seem to just llllllooooooooovvvvveeeee it when others are living with it their entire fucking lives.

        Fucking prickfaced assneck sonofatwunt blarg blarrbble blarbble blarb …

        Sorry. Lost it there for a second. I'm better now.

        • sullivanst

          Sounds like an entirely fair, accurate and justified description of him so far.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Or an elephant kicking a baby.

    • montreal_bruin
    • mnotrtoo

      When we were kids my sister pulled the legs off of flies.

      She was always good at taking things just a step further to impress the gods.

  • http://twitter.com/bookofruthless boobookitteh

    Let them eat cake!

    Oh, wait.

    • SorosBot

      Let them eat cakes we like!

      • Shady_Esperanto

        Let them eat cakes we don't want!

        • foxypuppet

          CRUMBS!

          • Shady_Esperanto

            CRUMBS! for the crummy people!

          • Butch_Wagstaff

            Crumb and get it!

    • Generation[redacted]

      Don't let them eat cake! That's MY cake!

  • Tundra Grifter

    The GNoP wants a big campaign about big issues – unless, of course, they can try to score cheap points with trivia like this.

    Personally, I don't think selling expensive cookies and cupcakes is a sustainable business plan. It's a fad, not a trend.

    I do, however, still plan to pay for our kids' college tuition by liquidating our world-class Beanie Baby collection.

    • Baconzgood

      You need to diversify into pogs.

      • BerkeleyBear

        and webkinz.

      • Billmatic

        Remember ALF? He's back! In POG form!

        • tessiee

          "Millhouse, you sold my soul for POGS??"

    • proudgrampa

      Is there still a market for Cabbage Patch dolls?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Shhh. I've nearly got the market cornered on Furbies.

    • Generation[redacted]

      The 90s were a heady time. There I was, a successful beanie baby broker, when suddenly the bottom dropped out of the stork market. I found myself underwater sitting on a pile of unsold plush storks. Luckily, though government programs and a private equity buy-out, I was able to unload a lot of bad debt onto taxpayers and collect hefty management fees for myself, all without any government help thank you very much.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Looks like you knew how to Ty one on!

    • viennawoods13

      When my son was about 5 he got some stupid beanie baby from my in-laws. My father-in-law told the poor kid, "Keep that safe and it will pay for your college education". (seriously. And he was not a stupid man). Well, once we were home the little guy was totally torn. He so wanted to play with said BB the way a 5 yr old should, but, the $$$! I picked it up, tore off the fucking tag, and handed it back to him.

      • reliefsinn

        Thereby decreasing your net worth by about .05, in 2012 dollars.

  • Preferred Customer

    "Ever So Humble Pie Co."

    Eh, false advertising, much?

    • sullivanst

      "No Pie for the Humble Co."

      • Preferred Customer

        Camel Through the Needle's Eye Pie Co?

        Here's a thought–how about if someone comes up to you needing to use Food Stamps to buy your fucking gourmet cookies, you GIVE them a cookie? That might just make their day. And yours.

        Or is "charity" something your "Christian" religion doesn't cover?

        Note: I am jumping to the conclusion that she is a "Christian." I suppose she might just be a bitch, but self-righteousness that pure usually comes in a Jesus-flavored wrapper (the Shroud of Hatin?).

        • sullivanst

          Muscular Jesus enjoys being kicked in the nads ("whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.")

          • SigDeFlyinMonky

            True Christianity has been found hard and not tried.

        • SorosBot

          Being Christian is all about thinking you're superior towards everyone else, and looking down on them.

          • Preferred Customer

            The view from up here on this cross is really good.

          • HogeyeGrex

            "I can see my house from here."

          • Preferred Customer

            10:1 it is a brickfront colonial in the exurbs.

    • TootsStansbury

      Ever So Hateful Pie

    • anniegetyerfun

      Just Like Jesus Would Have Done Pie Company

      • Preferred Customer

        I Won't Render Unto Caeser Pie Co.?

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      Steve Marriott libel!!

      • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

        Beat me to it, Zip!

  • OzoneTom

    Good, maybe they'll find something healthier than her concoctions at the farmers' market.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Only Wingnut (Whites only) Welfare is good.

    • SpeedoFart

      Only Wingnut (rich, company owning Whites only) Welfar is good.

  • SorosBot

    But if we allow poor people to occasionally have nice things, they might start getting uppity and start thinking that their lives matter, and that would be just awful; they must be made to suffer for the crime of being unlucky in life!

    • sewollef

      Bootstraps. It's all about bootstraps in this country, and pulling yourself up by them. Or fastening your own. Also.

      What's up with that?

      • IonaTrailer

        No boots.

      • AncienReggie

        Let them eat bootstraps.

        • Billmatic

          This is the best.

  • sullivanst

    It is certainly an article of faith in the GOP and associated circles, that if you ever, ever need help making ends meet, every moment of your life must be made as miserably as conceivably possible.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Congratulations. You just summarized every. single. response on the Herald's comment board.*

      *And no, I'm not exaggerating.

      • sullivanst

        Really, the GOP's entire platform can be summarized in a simple sentence:

        Maximize suffering for the poor

        You'll be able to predict their every policy position accurately by applying that one principle.

        Also too, that's why I don't read the comments ;)

    • UnholyMoses

      [Actual argument from my fucknugget conservative brother-in-law]

      You see, just like wild animals, if you give these people things for free, they'll just keep coming back for more. The only way to train them to behave is by punishing them, shaming them, and by making being poor as horrific as possible. Otherwise, they'll like being poor and never do anything to make their lives better. Besides, if we did more to help them, I — **GASP** — well, I might have to pay an extra $20 or so a year in federal taxes, all so these lazy layabouts can live high on the hog!

      [Seriously. He made this argument. This is how they think. They're hateful, abhorrent, morally repulsive and intellectually bankrupt bigots out to destroy anyone Not Like Them. It really is that simple.]

      • sullivanst

        Holy shit on a stick. Did he actually think that argument would work? I'm guessing he's not much on history, especially the history of how revolutions start.

        • Preferred Customer

          We should give everyone a tax credit that can only be used to buy a ticket to Les Mis.

        • UnholyMoses

          Yes.

          It didn't — trust me.

          So much so I'm not sure how he'll respond next I see him, given the whoppin' I laid upon him.

          • sullivanst

            Would love to be a fly on the wall for that.

            Or if Tom Morello and Paul Ryan ever meet.

      • elviouslyqueer

        One wonders if he's actually met an actual "poor." Y'know, other than the ones he sees on Fox News.

        • Generation[redacted]

          He probably watched The Waltons and though they had it too good. If John-Boy had been kicked in the nads every day for being poor, he'd be running a private equity firm by now.

          • Jus_Wonderin

            "Goodnight Mary Ellen. Aw fuck, oooowww, why the hell did you….aw fuck…stop it."

          • tessiee

            Tomboy = the Waltons' pet cat.

      • T3rbo

        Most right wingers do not make up their own arguments-your brother in law probably read a popular right wing email about how ironic it was that the Feds don't want you to feed animals because they won't learn how to take care of themselves but Obammer is proud to have so many people on welfare.
        So, here are your counter arguments:
        The top recipients of food stamps (nutrition assistance) are women, children, the elderly, and the disabled. A large number of the disabled who receive benefits are those who have lost their sight.
        Even with this population included, the average life of a claim is nine months.
        Most recipients of food stamps are white
        The average benefit, per person, is $133

        These are all facts. You can draw your own conclusions from these facts.
        http://www.fns.usda.gov/pd/18SNAPavg$PP.htm

        That link is to the average payout chart: the SNAP site has the rest of the information

        Pretty much every argument against nutrition assistance is irrelevant if you know the facts.

        Children shouldn't have sweet breads because they should be humiliated?
        Blind people should try harder?
        Women who have lost a major percentage of their income due to family crisis (abuse or divorce) are lazy?
        The elderly need to be taught how to live properly?

        • sullivanst

          Can't find the stats on fns.usda.gov, but isn't it also the case that most parents in households that receive SNAP have jobs, they just don't pay enough to properly feed a family (in other words, the exact kind of job the GOP wants to make more of)?

          • T3rbo

            YOu have to major in public policy and social services to know these things off the top of your head.
            http://www.snaptohealth.org/snap/snap-frequently-

            "For instance, many Americans believe that the majority of SNAP benefits go towards people who could be working. In fact, more than half of SNAP recipients are children or the elderly. For the remaining working-age individuals, many of them are currently employed. At least forty percent of all SNAP beneficiaries live in a household with earnings. At the same time, the majority of SNAP households do not receive cash welfare benefits (around 10% receive cash welfare), with increasing numbers of SNAP beneficiaries obtaining their primary source of income from employment."

          • Jus_Wonderin

            Dang, I need a handy reference like "pocket you". You have the facts, man/woman.

          • T3rbo

            Took a class called "Social Services in America." Pretty eye opening to learn that most income assistance/food assistance/housing assistance is utilized (by white people, mostly!) immediately after periods of crisis. This whole time, being from the South, I thought these kinds of programs were used by blacks, during long periods of lazyness!

            "This was especially evident in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. In the weeks following the disaster, the program gave over $500 million in food assistance to more than 1.2 million Katrina survivors, without the need for congressional action."

            Let's make sure we cut programs like this, because people who are in hurricanes are like lazy dumb bears eating out of a dumpster.

            Google 'food security,' it's pretty much the argument against asshole farmers market righteousness related to whoopie pies

          • tessiee

            Anecdotal evidence, I know, but the only person I know personally who gets food stamps is someone who has TWO, count 'em, TWO jobs, both of which pay shit.

            Also, if it matters, she's a Size Two.

          • T3rbo

            I bet that person is just praying for more tax cuts for the wealthy and 'entitlement' reform

          • tessiee

            Nah, she's not stupid. She's had two and three jobs her whole life, and she knows only too well that she's being screwed by the 1%.

          • T3rbo

            come on! I bet she will greet Romney/Ryan as liberators, much as they greeted Bush II in Iraq!

          • tessiee

            Sorry.
            As much as I'd like to malign somebody who eats whatever she wants and is still a Size Two…
            I've known her for years, and she's not only a true friend, but she's as clear-minded and progressive as anyone here.

          • sullivanst

            Is your snarkometer in the shop for repair? ;)

          • foxypuppet

            Snark off- Tessiee, thanks for reminding us that not all government assistance goes to Teabaggers & bankers.

            The reason liberals are supposedly in favor of the safety net is because it helps folks like your friend to survive a world where most of us are barely breaking even.

          • SoBeach

            This whole time, being from the South, I thought these kinds of programs were used by blacks, during long periods of lazyness!

            It's been my experience that sharing facts about these programs does absolutely no good. There are people who believe 99% of black people live exclusively off welfare from the day they're born until the day they die. They think people on welfare eat steak and lobster and drink champagne every day, while everyone else has to work. And nothing anyone could ever say or do will change this belief.

          • T3rbo

            Totally true-that's when you play the "You don't read actual books or look up statistics" card. Something like:
            If I could just pull lies out of thin air, like you are doing right now, I could win any argument in the world. But I don't do that, I read books, I look things up, and when you get down to the raw numbers, you have what is there and nothing else. When was the last time you read a book, any non fiction book at all? When was the last time you read a book about what we are talking about? What your are saying was made up to trick people who don't read, and you fell for it. You didn't make these arguments up, you believed them when some other person told them to you-you got tricked. Go look up some facts and let's have an argument about facts, and I'll go home and make up some lies, and we'll have this argument again. You get to struggle to use facts, and I'll just lazily make up lies next time, and you will see that even though I am using things I just made up, it does not make any of my points valid or true.

            And then, fisticuffs!

            No, not really: I usually stop when I get to the part about the other person being not a person of books. That usually leads to sad faces, and being a liberal, I feel bad and stop….

          • T3rbo

            http://www.fns.usda.gov/cga/FactSheets/SNAP.htm

            "The Food Stamp Program is a program that supplements the food purchasing power of low-income Americans. The average time a food stamp recipient stays on the program is 9 months."

          • UnholyMoses

            80% of the people living in poverty have jobs. Many have two.

            And the vast majority of the rest are either disabled or elderly.

            Of course, for the average conservative, you're not "disabled" unless you're dead. No legs? You can still work a phone! No arms/hands? You can still work as a crossing guard! No limbs at all? You can be a buoy!

            I just … I don't get those people. I really, truly don't. They might as be from another fucking planet . One called Assholia or Douchebagoine Four or something.

          • sullivanst

            To borrow from Tom Lehrer, "Some of you may have had occasion to run into Republicans and to wonder therefore how they got that way".

            I think the explanation Tom Morello proposes in his epic beatdown of Paul Ryan seems highly plausible:

            You see, the super rich must rationalize having more than they could ever spend while millions of children in the U.S. go to bed hungry every night. So, when they look themselves in the mirror, they convince themselves that "Those people are undeserving. They're . . . lesser."

            Of course that doesn't, in as far as it goes, explain the non-rich Republicans who also subscribe to kicking the poor (other than themselves). This is explained by the conviction that they're not like other people like them, that they're not poor, they're just pre-rich, because they are special like the rich, their ship just didn't come in yet; it's the other poors that are shiftless lazy and undeserving.

          • UnholyMoses

            Wait — Ryan fashions himself a fan of RAtM?

            Um … yeah. Okay.

            Because when I see Paul Ryan, the first thing I think of is the line:

            "Yeah I'm rollin' down Rodeo with a shotgun/these people ain't seen a/brown skin man since their grandparents bought one"

            Wow.

            And Morello rules:

            "Charles Manson loved the Beatles but didn't understand them. Governor Chris Christie loves Bruce Springsteen but doesn't understand him. And Paul Ryan is clueless about his favorite band, Rage Against the Machine."

          • sullivanst

            Paul Ryan heard the end of Know Your Enemy and thought "Hell YEAH! USA #1! USA! USA USA!"

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Yes, jobs that make the job creators obscenely wealthy, with the workers basic living expenses susidized by the government. But rich people got that way by working hard, derp derp.

        • Generation[redacted]

          If there's one thing owning a dressage horse has taught me, it's that the answer to each of those questions is yes.

      • anniegetyerfun

        He probably heard it from SC Republican Andre Bauer.
        http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=11869649

      • tessiee

        The only thing that's missing from this quote is: "I notice they can all afford cigarettes".

        • UnholyMoses

          Oh, he's gone there. Though it was "malt liquor and Henessey."

          Again, no — not joking.

          Dude is from Clinton, Iowa, and not totally stupid, which is the odd part.

          I'm just thankful he's not using his teaching degree and, instead, is working in the family business (siding).

        • sullivanst

          … which you can't buy with SNAP benefits… so are they using… gasp… their wages to pay for the one thing that helps them get through the misery the GOP shovels on them daily?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Your brother in law is the former Lt. Gov of South Carolina? Has he at least come out to the family?

    • Angry_Marmot

      We've a similar problem with our largest "Christian" homeless shelter: no coming or going after 10 pm, so if you do find work on second or third shift, you wait in the park or leave. The same shelter works against a millage for affordable housing, on the grounds that it would only "encourage" the poors by taking away motivation and keep them from coming to Jesus.

    • HogeyeGrex
      • sullivanst

        Loving the top comment there. Which is a very pleasant surprise, it's YouTube after all.

  • nounverb911

    Does Taber sell those Muslin crescent rolls too, also.

  • ravi_shankar

    Let the poors eat cake. But not cookies.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Will "Betty the Baker" go on the campaign trail, shaming the poors and ensuring that job creators pay no tax?

  • edgydrifter

    The market is ripe for my "spitting on the poor for money" Kickstarter project.

    • IonaTrailer

      I smell reality TV show!!!

  • EatsBabyDingos

    When Andrea was asked if she liked her stall, she pounded her hoof twice to indicate "yes" then lifted her tail and crapped thirteen new stickybuns.

    • An_Outhouse

      I assumed that's what a 'whoopie pie' was since I'd never heard of them before.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    I feel obligated to point out that the French Revolution started when the poor people couldn't afford bread. I'm pretty sure that a bourgeois asshat like this was among the first to meet Madame La Guillotine.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Hey gang, lets do a MUSICAL!!!

      • Generation[redacted]

        We are so poor, we cannot even speak French!

  • freakishlywrong

    I guarantee you this bitch identifies as a "christian".

    • Zombie_Reagan

      Remember, wingnuts are only Christian when it's convenient.

    • PubOption

      Clearly, she has never paid any attention to the business about Dives and Lazarus.

    • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

      and she'll never see the irony.

  • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

    Are there no workhouses?

    • freakishlywrong

      Are there no bakeries?

  • FakaktaSouth

    I know John Edwards is now a disgusting whore, but I find myself thinking about his idea for all of this. (no, not creating more illegitimate welfare strawberry eaters) I want Two Americas. I would be fine with just separating all of this down to people who believe children and gay people should have food and those who do not.

    • IonaTrailer

      Put all the "pull yourself up by your boot-straps" asshats in Oklahoma or Texas.
      Oh, wait – it's full already?

      • valgal2342

        Cowboy boots are the only ones with straps right?

  • Tundra Grifter

    Maybe the lady who wrote Dear Abby about the fresh strawberry incident had just finished watching "The Caine Mutiny."

    • Angry_Marmot

      Balls of Steel.

  • SorosBot

    Some poors buy fancy fresh fruit? Shouldn't they eat like real Americans, with a shopping list consisting of ground beef, all uncooked beef steaks, sliced bacon, chicken legs, ground chuck beef, turkey, boneless ham, all pork chops, and boneless chuck roast?

    • IonaTrailer

      You left out the smoked turkey tails and vienna sausages.

      • SorosBot

        Thems is too fancy for real 'mericans!

      • SnarkOff

        Also cedar cheese, popcikles and musturd.

      • finallyhappy

        Turkeys have tails? Who knew?

    • sullivanst

      Needz moar roast!

    • elviouslyqueer

      You forgot ALL HAM.

    • Beowoof

      Spam, where is the Spam, good enough for the poors.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Don't forget the stuf for taco salad! Need a salad with all of that meat.

      Great, now I'm hungry.

    • chicken_thief

      And the "peace" cigs.

    • SpeedoFart

      Jesus Christ, where did you find my shopping list??

      Kidding! We all know that as a sleazy socialist, my shopping list consists of some fancy ass organic produce, gluten and lactose free mac 'n cheese, and caviar. Purchased with food stamps, of course!

    • An_Outhouse

      and the cakes we like.

  • rockyoumonkeys

    So basically now any little attention whore who wants their name on the internet can just pick a demographic to discriminate against and get their moment in the sun. I hate that we're that shallow as a country.

    • Billmatic

      I'm picking Andorrans.

      • MosesInvests

        Yeah, them with their blue skin and antennae-who do they think they are?

    • Nothingisamiss

      Or deep with hate.

  • Angry_Marmot

    Just once I would like to see these people "take a courageous stand" against someone richer and more powerful than they are.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Upfist!

  • TootsStansbury

    MEAN PEOPLE SUCK

    • DahBoner

      Also Boston Farmer Markets Suck (True.)…

      • tessiee

        And what's the deal with that foreign name for Fanueil Hall?

  • sbj1964

    The Secret ingredient in her cupcakes is HATE.

    • IonaTrailer

      With a soupçon of bigotry, I'm guessing.

      • sewollef

        Indeed. I can only wish upon her a maelstrom of IRS auditors for, oh, let's say the last 10 years. That's a nice round [and familiar] number.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    The dogs Jesus of the Gospels said were entitled to gather crumbs under the master's table, are hopefully IRL reincarnations of this bitch and her ilk, getting their karmic due.

    • Angry_Marmot

      More likely the thirsty rich man, looking over the flames at the poor man safe in Abraham's bosom.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    What a donkey's ass. I bet "Hee Haw" is the only tv show she watches, because it is the only one she can pronounce.

  • Baconzgood

    This woman thinks that A Modest Proposal was a good problem solving book.

  • Blunderthing

    Americans. We are so GENEROUS with our scorn for the unfortunate.

    Yay, er, cough, er, sorry, buddy can you spare a doughnut? Say, don't you remember? You called me Scumbag. It was Scumbag all the time. Say don't you remember, I'm your scapegoat. Buddy, can you spare a day old doughnut?

  • mavenmaven

    “There are a lot more of us than they realize,” Taber said. “They’ve been ignoring us so long they don’t even know we’re here.”
    I'd be happy to keep ignoring you for longer if you didn't keep polluting our society with your farty hate.

  • RadioBowels

    I can't wait until the insurance companies refuse to take those health-stamps for the oldz.

  • UnholyMoses

    Stories like this are why The Mrs and just might start an indiegogo campaign to raise funds for our move to Sweden, and then ask a bunch of rightie blogs to help.

    After all, they're so dedicated to spite, they'd probably love to help some radical lefties like us leave America.

    And we'd gladly take these fools money.

    (The money of sane people? Well, we feel guilty about that — like we're asking for a handout. Which, I guess, it is, but for a good cause and all. Plus, POSTCARDS FROM SWEDEN! are your special gift for helping us. So there's that.)

  • pinkocommi

    As unlikely as it may seem, I think we've found a bestie for Jan Brewer.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Can you imagine what the waitstaff does to their food when those two have a kaffeeklatsch?

  • MissTaken

    Ever So Humble Pie Co. – irony, it's a bitch.

    • tessiee

      Yeah, well, so is Karma.

  • UnholyMoses

    I got $100 that says if some, say, darker hued person chose not to serve white folks, the Conservative Wurlitzer of Outrage and Whine would be turned up to eleventy thousand.

    • CrunchyKnee

      Unholy, the term "Conservative Wurlitzer of Outrage and Whine" just made coffee spew forth from my nose. Well played, ma'am or sir.

    • viennawoods13

      Just as well. They probably wouldn't want negroidal hands touching their vittles.

  • ph7

    All of our nation's problems are caused by the poor. That's an excellent assessment of the economic meltdown that began in 2008.

  • JustPixelz

    She sells her stuff in the Braintree Farmers Market at the Braintree Town Hall in a government parking lot that she didn't build. OK, she pays a fee to have a table ($315/year for smallest) so it's not a government handout.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I bet she built all the streets that feed to that lot and doesn't rely, at all, on heavily subsidized fuels to get her goods to her Market Stall. God she's a bitch.

  • http://www.toastcat.com Fred_Wertham_Jr

    Nazi baker lady probably finds health codes unduly restrictive (the germ theory is just a theory, after all) so maybe this isn't such a bad thing.

  • eggsacklywright

    Silly rabbit, food stamps are for gruel only.

    • HistoriCat

      Is there no imitation gruel? (Four out of five orphans can't tell the difference.)

  • IonaTrailer

    This morning the LA Times has an article about helping homeless people. The hateful comments about the poor and the government are fucking astounding. (sorry, minimal snark, but still.)

    • Beowoof

      The thinking is they are all just lazy, hanging around doing nothing while all those good fruit picking jobs go unfilled while the lazy sit around and eat lots of fried potatoes.

      • An_Outhouse

        I heard some shit head from W Va on the radio whining about all the folks there on assistance while the coal mining companies can't get enough help. I guess it never crossed his mind that, according to the invisible hand theory, maybe they aren't paying enough since digging coal sucks.

        • sullivanst

          Also, maybe dying in a cave-in isn't the optimal strategy for feeding your family?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Maybe we need more unemployment among the shithead demographic, to hammer home the message.

    • finallyhappy

      People,are so fucking stupid- if they don't live totally off the grid – the government is deeply involved in their lives. I know we all know it- but- roads, water, sewage, electricity, police. food safety, etc, etc, etc, Plus the morons who complain and get Social security/ medicare/Tricare- all adminstered by gov't employees

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Eat your gruel, Poor People. AND SHUT UP.

  • Thunderclees

    Are there not work-bakeries?

  • Zombie_Reagan

    Ya gotta love the wingnuts. They have no problem at all with CEOs, corporations, and Wall Street fleecing the American taxpayer, but go nuclear if a poor buys something other than beans and rice.

    • finallyhappy

      our commie farmer markets here in MD and DC(and maybe facist VA, too) have special programs to get fresh food for people getting food assistance. I think they get some extra "cash" at FarmFresh farmer's markets. worse yet, the farmers markets give the produce they can't sell to soup kitchens like the one where I volunteer . the homeless and whomever(anyone can eat at this place- we don't ask for proof of poverty) can eat fresh vegetables,fruits and often pretty damn good bread and pastries from Whole Foods and Trader Joes. I know we should only offer old wonder bread and canned sausages but I can't stop the donations!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Cookie Nazi.
    "No cookie for you!"
    The Republican creed.

  • http://dynamoe.tumblr.com nobodyssweetheart

    She's mad that poor people are using something (food stamps) that's meant to be used for healthy food/farm produce.

    She is using a farmer's market to sell whoopie pies.

    • elviouslyqueer

      THIS.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Cunt Cookies: the new taste sensation sweeping conservative America

  • proudgrampa

    People like this make me ashamed to even admit that I am a human being.

    "Stop the planet, I want to get off!"

  • friendlyskies

    Did haters ever flock to restaurants that still refused to serve blacks after desegregation? Or is this a whole new tactic in USAmerican assholery?

    Anyway, I just looked up her photo. Perhaps she's angry at the world for reasons we don't realize. A poor but beautiful lass won the heart of her poor but handsome crush in high school…. and so, today, she will punish ALL the poors by denying them delicious caek! Who knows.

    • An_Outhouse

      My guess is that yes, the bigots flocked to the places that refused to be integrated. They still do today but now they're called country clubs.

  • foxypuppet

    Make the pie higher!

    I think the Poorz can still reach it if they stand on their tippy-toes.

  • Thunderclees

    From the apparently unironically named Ever So Humble Pie Company's website: "So let's roll up our sleeves and keep the momentum going by doing whatever we can in our own communities to restore the principles and values that guided our founding fathers."

    First of all, Washington didn't own a refrigerator, or, probably an industrial sized food processor, WHY DO YOU HATE THE FOUNDING FATHERS!?! Secondly, do "the principles and values that guided our founding fathers" include the right to own other human beings? I feel like these are important questions…

    • IonaTrailer

      How about the right to happiness?

      Now can I pleez have a cookie?

      • sullivanst

        Happiness is not a right, only the pursuit of it. Run faster! Oh wait you can't because your blood sugar is low because we ensure the poorz cannot meet their full dietary needs. Be born richer next time, OK?

    • Kid_Charlemagne

      If she really wanted to follow the values that guided our founding fathers she should only sell hardtack and johnnycakes.

      • tessiee

        Hoecake libel!

      • Thunderclees

        Her baked-bean-and-cod tart usually sells out before 7am.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      What a bitch. she probably pays her employees so little, they need food stamps.

  • mookwrthwilson

    From the looks of her, it looks like she smears her face in shortening…

    • IonaTrailer

      Or lard

  • Mittens Howell, III

    America deserves batter!

  • Nostrildamus

    Dear Abby also told that lady to stop being such a fucking cunt …

    Ann Landers would have said "cum-crusted skank biscuit".

    • tessiee

      I'm partial to "cum burping gutter slut", but yours is good, too.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        "cum burping gutter slut" ftw.

        • horsedreamer_1

          I have seen that video. Rocco Siffredi directed it.

  • Cheburashka64

    Who would Jesus refuse to feed?

  • TootsStansbury

    I want to travel ro this bitch's market, invite some homeless people to come with, buy a bunch of cookies and hand them out right there. Just to watch her cry.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I'll help.

  • Billmatic

    Silly me, I thought strawberries were a healthy food choice. I guess they are a luxury. You should only be able to buy gruel on food stamps.

  • paulf40

    You read the original story and it gets dumber, the farmer's market was trying to implement a system by which EBT holders could purchase the healthy fruits and vegetables the various vendors sell with their EBT cards. Ms. Andrea Taber took this and ran with it like the 21st century fame whore she is, getting herself booked on Fox and Friends, etc before the market had a chance to respond to her concern that those EBT holders would not only be able to buy healthy foods but the also the artery blocking, diabetics inducing crap she sells. A home run for Ms. Andrea Taber but it begs the question; why is a "farmers" market selling high calorie baked fatty death bombs in the first place?

  • Billmatic

    Also I'd like to mention that when I filed for food stamps I got $16 a month which is a far bigger waste of taxpayer money than giving, say $200, to someone who has several children.

  • C_R_Eature

    Marie Antonette: "Let them eat cake!"

    Andrea Taber: 'Let hem eat shit!"

    Mind your head, Andrea.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Bitches will be bitches.

    If she sells her shit at a Farmer's Market, she probably is located on public property. Tell her to get a taxpaying spot to sell her crap from.

  • ahnc

    America: Even our cookies hate Obama

  • An_Outhouse

    I'm selling cups of dirt for ten bucks each. No N!ggers Allowed. I just posted a classified at Faux Nation. I'm gonna be rich.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Why waste the money on a sign? These days the sentiment is pretty much implicit.

  • James Michael Curley

    So she sells a cookie for $1.00 to somebody who pays with a SNAP EBT card and the Government deposits $1.00 into her account. Then she sells a cookie for $1.00 to somebody who pays for it with their MC/VISA/AE/Discover debit card and she gets as little as 93.5 cents deposited in her account.

    Dumb bimbo is a dumb bimbo.

    • sewollef

      But it's the principle of the thing.

      She's there to make money…. oh, right.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    FIne then why participate in the group market, except she wants the free advertising? Oh and the public square in Walpole or wherever where they are going to be setting up the farmer's market. SHE DID NOT BUILD THAT.

  • An_Outhouse

    “My email is just incinerated,” Taber said. “Ninety-five percent of it is positive. There is a fair amount of venom coming my way.”

    Bitch, five percent is not a fair amount. Take your fancy assed pies and keep them in your shop then.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Let them eat cupcakes! . . . What? OK, never mind….

  • ChicagoLory

    This lady is not an astute business women. Considering walmart takes in more than half of the country's food stamps, and considering most of their employees with families are beneficiaries of food stamps, and considering how processed food companies probably lobby to make sure they can profit from food stamps, all this baker is doing is turning away business. I bet the Koch brothers owe some of their billions to food stamps.

    Or maybe she just cant figure out how to use the machineathingy to process the EBT cards?

  • DahBoner

    Well, she's actually doing EBT people a favor, since WHITE FLOUR/SUGAR={Cancer, Heart attacks, Diabetes, Dementia}…

  • Generation[redacted]

    What's a whoopie pie?

    Nevermind. I have a feeling I'll be happier not knowing.

    • An_Outhouse

      You'll have to ask Rafalco.

  • calliecallie

    Today, we are all Dear Abby.

  • http://crasstalk.com/ grandinquisitor

    You know who else demonized tho poor to increase their profits?

    • Kid_Charlemagne

      Chef Boyardee?

  • sullivanst

    Isn't the real irony here that if she wasn't participating in a commie food market on government property, her cookie store by itself wouldn't be eligible to participate in SNAP?

  • sullivanst

    Isn't the real irony here that if she wasn't participating in a commie food market on government property, her cookie store by itself wouldn't be eligible to participate in SNAP?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Yup. she's makin out like a bandit, but too stupid to know it.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Abbey was always good for a cunt smackdown. In a similar vein, she also had an advice pamphlet for teenagers that was, all, "Don't feel back about masturbation. Everyone does it." This was in the 1980s.

    • An_Outhouse

      If you're masturbating by feeling your back, you're doing it wrong. Good for Abbey. Personally I found that she wrong about ninety percent of the time. I like 'Ask Amy' better – I think she's her replacement ( or the other one's replacement)
      http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/life/askam

      • anniegetyerfun

        Sigh. I hate that I can't type in English.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    In four years, Joe the Plumber will be the manager, and she'll be running for Congress.

  • tessiee

    "an American hero has put her foot down regarding accepting EBT benefits for her “sticky treats” at a farmers market where she has a stall"

    HA HA!
    The joke is on HER!
    Pretty soon, NOBODY will be able to afford food!
    Then she'll…
    Oh, wait.
    Awwwwww.

  • tessiee

    Everyone knows food stamps are for gruel.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    My outrage gland is worn out. This is so mean-spirited, I don't want to wallow in it.

  • SpeedoFart

    Christ, I remember that Dear Abby column. Sure, the poorz don't deserve strawberrys, let 'em all die from scurvy!

  • Larry McAwful

    Well, thank God someone's finally getting on the stick about forming a caste system in America. This lady is the new Boston Brahmin!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Cupcake Wars is not just a river on Food Network!! Or something.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Why don't we make the vermin wear the food-stamps on their coats!?

  • tessiee

    Wait till Joe Biden shows up at this bitch's fascist cupcake stand.

  • BornInATrailer

    I tend to be a bit of an ass about food stamps, or I guess EBT now. I don't like the idea of just anything being purchasable. As I understand it, still no hot foods, no eat-in, no non-food, etc. I think people on food stamps shouldn't be buying empty calorie items like cakes, pastries, and crap along those lines. If you need food assistance, I believe it is your responsibility to buy reasonably nutritious and affordable food.

    But I also realize I don't know an individual's situation. Now for a terrible story right from the same page as the Dear Abby strawberries. Many years ago when I was a young lad, I recall my mother buying me, with food stamps, a live lobster for some occasion. Think it was my birthday and that I had asked specifically for it (what a precocious little welfare foodie I was, eh?). This was Maine and at the time, lobsters were cheap; I think this was part of the reason I asked for it. Cheaper than steak, more expensive than London Broil.. somewhere in there. Anyway, I was oblivious to any potential issue. My mother didn't give any warning but in hindsight of course she knew. The drawn-out disgust and contempt displayed towards both my mother and myself by the cashier remains a crystal clear memory, as does my sudden realization of everything that was going on here. I don't remember if my mother cried after we left the store, but a very dark and awful memory overall. But a good life lesson, one that would prevent me, regardless of my opinions, from acting in such a way without understanding someone's particulars. Give them the benefit of the doubt.

    This memory also kind of makes me want to punch Andrea in her smug flour-dusted cunt face.

    • sullivanst

      Empty calories are also usually the cheapest calories, plus also too those in society who are least educated about food probably correlate fairly well with those who are most likely to need food stamps.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, if we keep feeding the poor, it will just encourage them.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      To live.

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    Give cash earned by hard work buys you a pricey, fattening cookie.

    Buy the same product with an EBT 'Food Stamps' the cookie crumbles.

  • r1122592000

    What a miserable, sad, small person she is. The easiest thing in the world is to take a shot at the underdog and she went for it. The government already spells out what food stamps can and can't be used to purchase but that's not good enough for Taber. If a poor person wants a cupcake screw them. Not on her watch! Those freeloading poor will not have the dignity of determining how they fill their bellies on $3 a day. Now her business is booming and she gets to go on Fox to spit on people who can't find a job, have exhausted their savings and rely on EBT. How do people like Andrea Taber become people like Andrea Taber?

  • awashinshite

    from the Herald,"she doesn’t think taxes should pay for pricey, fattening desserts". At least she's honest in describing the crap she's peddling. And who is she to think about what someone else should buy, also, anyway and forchrissakes!

  • ttommyunger

    Not only are cretins like this small-minded and craven; they are gullible, having fallen for the divisive crap the Right likes to trumpet. Truth be told, Food Stamps and Welfare are much too profitable for retailers and the Banksters (transfer fees amount to Billions annually) and the fake outrage serves to continue to provide raw meat to the Republican Base.

  • bibliotequetress

    AAARGH! I love Ever So Humble peach pies!! When I lived in Dorchester, they sold at the farmer's market next to my T stop. And at Allandale Farm. Buggerbuggerbugger. YOU JUST LOST A LARGE PART OF YOUR PEACH PIE SALES, HYPOCRITE CHRISTIAN LADY.

    So glad you're taking that not-throwing-stones, feeding the poor Jesus message thingy seriously. Happy that some unemployed person on EBT can't celebrate a new job with your delicious crumble-berry pie. FUCK YOU EVIL BAKERY DEMON. I shall only dine on pie from the lovely lesbian bakeries of Jamaica Plain now. And I eat A LOT of pie.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    somebody should do a mashup of the pictures of the last two posts: Dorothea Lange and the AZ diamond back.

    that would be fun.

  • Troubledog

    "Then maybe they should die and decrease the surplus population!"
    — E. Cartman, E. Scrooge, cupcake guy, cookie lady, Fox and Friends

    I don't think Chick-fil-A would let people go hungry. They have a business to run.

  • James Inman

    If only a jack booted Blackwater thug could have kicked Ayn Rand in the face when she applied for social security.

  • HuddledMass

    You want to know what they think? My brother wrote this description, and it is true (not like that time when he said there was a bear in the yard and then stole my bacon when I went to look):

    Voter Suppression and Our Rigged Tax System: The Underlying Ideology http://www.huffingtonpost.com/thomas-de-zengotita