this dog will sniff all butts, christian or otherA police officer in Tulsa has been suspended because he arrested a minority without reasonable suspicion for a vague and unspecified “crime.”

No, just joking, they’d never be suspended for that! But he was suspended for refusing to attend a mandatory cultural event at a mosque.

A Tulsa police officer and devout Christian is suing his department after being punished for refusing to go to a mosque for a mandatory cultural event.

Police Capt. Paul Campbell Fields, a 17-year veteran, was docked two weeks’ pay, transferred, reduced to the graveyard shift and made ineligible for promotions for at least a year, after he told his chief his faith made it impossible for him to attend a “Law Enforcement Appreciation Day” at the Islamic Cultural Society of Tulsa, according to the lawsuit.

Here is what Fields was asked to do: go to this event. Understand that Muslims were people. Afterward, he was more than welcome to go home and read Pam Geller posts about how the Obama Administration’s school lunch requirements were an effort to force halal food on children, but come the fuck on, dude. Nut up.

Fields, 43, is a non-denominational Christian, who quoted Scripture in legal explanation of his insubordination.

“This event is compelling me to go to a venue where a group of individuals is prepared to discuss their (Islamic) faith,” Fields said during a May 2012 deposition, the transcript of which was obtained by “And in my faith, I have a duty to proselytize my faith to people (who) don’t subscribe to my faith. I can’t do that in uniform. And so therein lies the conflict or moral dilemma I face.”

How many of this guy’s arrests do you think get overturned when he reads a perp Leviticus instead of his Miranda rights? Probably all of them.

Fields has said that if it were merely a police matter to which he was called, requiring him to enter a mosque, he would have no problem doing his duty as an officer.

The married man also added during the May deposition, “I’m a Christian. Okay? I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. As a Christian, I have a duty to proselytize the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Your Wonkette would assume that when your police captain asks you as a police office to go to a police event, it also constitutes a “police matter,” but we are also bad at religion and may or may not be Scientologists now, depending on if the check clears. Also, why does it matter if he is married, Fox News? Is his wedding band like a Captain Planet ring, but for Jesus?

“As I said before — I don’t know that I can make it any clearer. Islam is not my faith. It’s different than my religion … And when I come to work, I don’t presume to know someone’s religion. It doesn’t enter into the question when I’m providing a police call for service.

“Here, I have an instance where I’m being compelled to attend an event that’s very — it’s an open invitation to discuss their religion … and yet I can’t express my faith to them.”

Well, yes, because the point is that you understand what they believe so that you can better protect them. Were the captain to hold a “Muslims Show Up And Hear Captain Fields Act Out The Land Before Time VI*, then sure, as a part of your job, you could totally lecture them on your marriage to Christ and also a woman. However, that is not what you were asked to do as a part of your job, and in case you didn’t get the underlying point of this, do your job and take off your crying pants, you big baby.

*That is the one where the grandfather dinosaur kind of turns out to be Jesus.

[Fox News, of course]

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  • Oblios_Cap

    So he's arguing that his faith gives him the right to be total jackass?

    He sounds like he'd be a blast to have at parties.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog


      • Oblios_Cap

        Drunk Great minds think alike!

    • That's a popular argument.

    • Beowoof

      So many Christians seem to be following this approach.

    • sullivanst

      I thought he was saying his faith gives him a duty to be not just a jackass, but an ignorant one.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      I don't think he gets invited to parties. Well, at least not fun ones. He's both a cop AND a proselytizer, after all.

    • Have you seen the state of discourse from the Right lately? His fate not only GIVES him the right to be a total jackass, it DEMANDS it.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    “And in my faith, I have a duty to proselytize my faith to people (who) don’t subscribe to my faith."

    Ugh. I bet this guy is really fun at parties.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      He's the dude that's always trying to sell you Amway laundry detergent…for Jesus.

    • Yeah, if he'd show up at OUR parties, we'd stand him on his head and shake him up and down periodically to see if his balls bounce. I'm sure we could think of lots of fun stuff to do to him.

    • HogeyeGrex

      I have a duty to proselytize my faith to people (who) don’t subscribe to my faith. I can’t do that in uniform. And so therein lies the conflict or moral dilemma I face.”

      So quit your fucking job if you can't do it cuz Jeezus! Asshole.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Oh fuck. Just throw a dozen donuts in the mosque and the dude will trample you trying to get in there.

    • WhatTheHeck

      But he did show up for the mandatory skull-cracking night-stick class outside the mosque.

    • Beowoof

      Just make sure they're not from a Dunkin Donuts owned by a Sikh, because Jesus.

    • larrykat

      Maybe he'd follow that famous dog with Jeebus on his asshole into the mosque.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        They'd both be equally welcome.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Those better not be halal donuts. Might turn 'im into a Muslim.

      • emmelemm

        Side note: last night I was at a place with bacon donuts.

  • rockyoumonkeys

    People like this should not be cops. Not just because of the religion thing, but because they're dangerously stupid.

    I'm pretty sure your religion doesn't forbid you from entering other religions' buildings.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Yeah, it's a little scary this guy has a loaded weapon–when his head is empty.

    • SorosBot

      But "dangerously stupid" describes the majority of cops I've met.

      • Beowoof

        Some of my friends who are cops, will often complain about how stupid the rank and file officer can be, enamored of the little bit of power he has.

        • CthuNHu

          Yeah. Some of my friends who are legislators complain about the same thing.

          • emmelemm

            You have friends who are legislators?

          • CthuNHu

            $100/year legislators, yeah. Plus $3/day if the governor calls a special session (usually of 1 or 2 days).

            As decreed by the state constitution since 1889.

            Makes things interesting.

            Currently, the teabooger/fundie/paranoiac/Bircher/Paulite/flat-out moron coalition is at a record high ebb.

    • HogeyeGrex

      People like this should also not be pharmacists who think they have the right to decide not to fill birth control prescriptions. If you're that heavy into your imagined version of Jesus where you can't do your job, go work for the church.

      Also, too, the stupid thing.

    • eaglewon

      I heard jehovah witnesses can't enter other churches, no weddings, no funerals, etc. I don't even think they like birthdays.

    • I used to be a "non-denominational Christian" before I reached the age where my parents couldn't drag me to church anymore. Still for some 18 years I went to church and never once was told I could not enter a temple, synagog or mosque nor that I was required to "proselytize my faith" to anyone. Dude sounds like an Evangelical to me and those fuckers are batshit crazy.

  • bumfug

    If those Muslims can go to a mosque that sits in the shadow of Oral Roberts' 900-foot-tall imaginary Jesus as it hovers over Tulsa, so can this redneck cop.

  • Oblios_Cap

    “I’m a Christian. Okay? I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. As a Christian, I have a duty to proselytize the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

    What does Jebus say about that?

    • Have I told you lately that I love you? No? Consider it said.

      Nothing like a godbag smackdown with their own Sacred Book.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        As a wee Wagstaff when I was religious and still attended church, Very Baptist Grandma Wagstaff always referred to that verse. She hated how the televangelists made a "spectacle of their faith" on TV and even disapproved of people's "yellin' prayers" in various churches she attended over the years.

        • They taught us that in Catholic school too: If you pray in public where people can see you, then you've already had your reward: a reputation for being religious and moral. Therefore doth thy Father who art in heaven enjoin thee to seek secrecy for thy prayer, that no man should see thine acts; for then the reward is his to give, and not for the hands of man. They didn't approve of people wearing emblems of their religion either. The most annoying little girl I knew, my classmate Katherine, sported a large gold crucifix around her neck. The nuns made her take it off and leave it at home.

    • HogeyeGrex


      A million times, this.

      6:5 is full of win as well.

    • Beowoof

      Oh yeah like they have read any of that shit.

    • new_pic_for_NEWTer

      From the same page linked above, and taken wildly out of context, but still fun:

      Barnes' Notes on the Bible
      Enter into thy closet – Every Jewish house had a place for secret devotion….

      Perhaps explaining the large number of closeted Xtians.

    • unclejeems

      Dude was probably thinking of Just goes to show that you can find support for any position you want to take in the Bible.

  • Blunderthing

    Corporate 'Merica has turned us into these little islands of fuzzy logic when it comes to individualism. We're so afraid that "other ideas" might taint our sanctity of spirit (which, if they were so pure in the first place would supposedly be inviolable) that we can't even breathe the same air as them. It's fucking stupid, but then a lot of people are. Even popo.

  • Buzz Feedback

    "I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior."

    He must be fukking thrilled about it.

    • Srsly. At some point JC is gonna look at one of these bloated hatebags and just say "Naaahh… not worth it."

      • kittensdontlie

        He heeded a religious calling to dangerous police duty…that's how Lord Jesus takes care of his religious dingbats.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        "Nailed on cross…for this?"

    • Yeah, the appropriate response to that would probly have been, "OMG. Does he KNOW?"

  • Islam Islam Islam what ya gonna do when you got a job to dooooooo!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    So the Muslim is infectious?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Much like teh ghey, I'm sure.

    • jjdaddyo


    • bikerlaureate

      Transmitted by air.

      You can't take any chances – your rock-solid faith may become contaminated.
      How are you gonna focus on converting every single friggin' sinner you come across after setting foot in a place chock-full of errors and lies?

  • SexySmurf

    He's afraid a Muslin might try to bag his groceries.

    • Get Muslin hand-cooties all OVAH dem.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Probably a negroid one!

      • FNMA

        Negroidal. Please.

  • Ooooooooo-klahoma, where the wind blows whistling through your head.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    This guy sounds like the next Senator from the great state of Oklahoma.

    • FNMA

      He might not be dumb enough. After all, he seems stupid, but he may still qualify as sentient. OK, I read it again, maybe not…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He sounds like the fucking current Senator from Okiehoma.

  • Hey, if Jesus never hung out in a mosque, this cop shouldn't have to either.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I've heard he was known to frequent a synagogue or two, as well.

      If the PD had sent Officer Campbell to a temple, I'd like to think that his head would have exploded.

  • coolhandnuke

    Tulsa anagrammed: A Slut

  • WhatTheHeck

    Christian god no likey Muslim god. Big fight ensues.
    World gets fucked up as a result.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Talk about split pesonalities! They're the same entity.

      • MacRaith

        I've had Christians argue with me that no, they're actually not the same, and nothing can convince them otherwise. At which point I just tell them "There's no point in arguing with invincible ignorance," and turn and walk away.

    • Beowoof

      As Richard Jeni said, "religious war is people fighting over who has the better imaginary friend".

  • EatsBabyDingos

    What if it were Mitt's House of Mormon? Would he have crapped a banana about that?

    • Beowoof

      Well they would have had clean underwear for him.

    • Typodong3

      Well no thats now a REPUTABLE Republican religion, or at least getting there.

  • RadioBowels

    To be fair, I would never vote for a Mormon.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Or a Scientologist.

      • DahBoner

        Don't want no Christian Science person messing around with Medicare, either…

    • Typodong3

      I'll vote for a Spaghetti Monster candidate if he does the right thing.

  • Nesnora

    Surprisingly less popular than the Law Enforcement Appreciation Day at the Titty Gun and Fishin' Society…

  • fartknocker

    I surely hope the Tulsa firefighters don't have a similar policy on fire-involved mosques.

  • mrpuma2u

    Captain Paul Campbell Fields, you are today's winner of a bag of donkey dongs. Eat 'em up!!!! What a friggin tool. Yeshua Ben Josef wouldn't have liked him.

  • RedneckMuslin

    I can't go to Chik-Fil-8 because I'm loyal to KFC.

  • These people just don't know when to stop, do they? They just keep pushing and pushing and pushing the boundaries further and further. I think when the whole "silent majority" bullshit began to be bruited about, we all thought, "Oh, what the hell, we'll be good, inclusive types and let the little godbags have their moment in the sun." At this point, they want the rest of the UNIVERSE to be clad in light-defying blackness so that only THEY can enjoy the sun forever and ever, A fucking MEN. Enough, already, ya stupid putz. If you're taking taxpayer dollars from the goddamn fucking church-FREE state, shut yer fucking mouth and do yer job. If you can't, step aside and let someone else have that job.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Proselytyzing is the art of sticking your thumb up my ass and blaming me for your stinkfinger.

  • You can't have Shari Law in Oklahoma. You have to go by Cop Law.

  • miss_grundy

    This is why I can't stand people who call themselves "Christians". Did this asshat forget "love thy neighbor as thyself"? Jesus didn't put any limits on this. He didn't say this and then said "as long as that person looks like you, or thinks like you, or is from your same gender, ethnic group, race, religion, etc. If you are truly a follower of Christ, you are supposed to love and accept everybody and yes, that even includes Muslims. Why are the people who live in flyover states such poopheads?

    • Neoyorquino

      I call myself a Christian. And while I can't find a biblical reference for it, I try to live by the precept of "Don't be a dick."

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Hey, my religion won't allow me to do my job either.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Could an atheist officer refuse to go to a church or a synagogue? Or would they be suspended as well? – asks the atheist who would never be a cop

    • new_pic_for_NEWTer

      Damn fine theoretical question, but haha, everyone knows that atheists are criminals, not cops – says the other atheist.

  • Extemporanus

    "Have you accepted Barney Fife as your Lord and Savior?"

  • Baconzgood

    As an Irish Catholic getting arrested for drunken disorderly on St Patty's day is against my religion. The Magistrate didn't buy it though.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Didn't you explain that St. Patty drove all the snakes out of Ireland by getting them drunk?

  • SorosBot

    It's so hard for Christians out there, being asked to accept that other people exist.

    • Extemporanus

      It's so hard for atheists out there, being asked to accept that imaginary people exist.

    • Baconzgood

      When I was a kid my priest got in trouble with the church because he gave people from other faiths time on the pulput during the mass. He said "but what if we go to heaven and St. Peter tells us we should have been Unitarians? I just want to hedge my bets."

      • GhostBuggy

        Ha, that guys sounds awesome.

    • bikerlaureate

      If they'd just keep their big mouths shut, stay out of public view at all times and vote Republican…

  • I, for one, am just happy to see that there is a religion that takes a stance against "Law Enforcement Appreciation Day”. If only more were so bold!

  • anniegetyerfun

    ACK! Just finally saw the terrifying baby asking me to be a social worker! Previously, the "Become a social worker" ads that I saw featured a sweet-looking mixed race kid with Photoshopped blue eyes.

    • UW8316154

      Wait until you see Kourtney version of the terrifying baby-social worker ad.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Does she LOVE her terrifying zombie baby?

        • UW8316154

          She's eating it, and letting us know that "Kourtney LOES Her Babies"

    • PubOption

      I have only seen the scary almost-3D baby ad. Or the other one was so unremarkable, it didn't register.

      • anniegetyerfun

        It's seriously horrifying. It HAS to be part of a Republican-backed initiative to prevent people from considering social work on any level.

    • widestanceromance

      Finally, that shirtless pic of Ryan surfaces!

    • MissTaken

      Last night I got "Ever Been Arrested?" with a mug shot of the Aurora shooter. I was truly offended (seriously) and wished for the social worker baby to come back.

    • comrad_darkness

      Back in my hourly worker days a guy often came in with his mixed race four year old boy: blonde hair, blue eyes. I thought: that kid is going to win every tanning contest, ever.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Yeah, not saying it can't happen, but this was a black and white photo with freakishly blue eyes that don't occur in nature.A friend of mine, who is terribly blond, married a guy from India who is fairly dark-skinned. When her baby was born, everyone was, like, “Wow, he's so fair-skinned!” and she was all, “Oh, he'll darken up a bit.”Yeah, he's blond now, too. There goes all my hopes for breeding the white out of the human race.

    • anniegetyerfun
    • GhostBuggy

      I've only been getting the "Kingmaker's Daughter" ad. I like the crown and fancy pillow. It really classes up this dump. Also, my coworkers might notice what I'm looking at and think I'm an important person who has a reason to look at pictures of crowns.

      • anniegetyerfun

        I like that ad. And the name Phillipa.

  • SorosBot

    Since no other cops had a problem, I'm sure none of them were also Christians; I mean they are such a tiny minority, comprising a mere 70-75% of the population.

    • finallyhappy

      that can't be right- has to be more like 90%

    • bikerlaureate

      The others weren't real Christians.
      Lousy lukewarm posers.

  • Baconzgood

    Non-denominational Christians are the generic brand of faith. C'mon douche nozzle pick a sect and run with it.

    • OkieDokieDog

      non-denominational Christian = Baptist in Okhelloma

  • Someone should explain to him that if he would just cover his face with a hijab, he can't get infected with the Muslim pox.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I can already anticipate the judge's ruling on this:

    Bitch, please.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Whenever I here "Bitch, please" I have to chuckle as I think about how Layfayette Reynolds talks "See bitch. You gonna wish you ain't did that. Watch."

  • rickmaci

    Well, I was going to write something snarky but I am so sick of these Goober Xtians (people who get off on believing they are in some sort of modern lions den about to become martyrs) and their fake piety I just want to know when God intends to tell them to knock this shit off.

  • IncenseDebate

    “I’m a Christian. Okay? I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. As a Christian, I have a duty to proselytize the Gospel of Jesus Christ."

    That means he doesn't have to understand anything else ever again. Case closed. Mind closed. Ears closed. Eyes closed. Door closed. Windows closed. Closed. Closed. Closed.

    • Beowoof

      And thus, he is a good republican teabagger.

    • And yet, the MOUTH is always open.

    • bikerlaureate

      la la la la la la la la la la la la la la I can't hear you la la la la la la la la la.

  • Baconzgood

    Saying "I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior" to Baconz immediately ends the conversation. "I think Justin Bieber is a really talented artist" also, too.

    • What about, "I have accepted Justin Bieber as my Canadian Lord and Savior"?

    • SorosBot

      What about, "I think Twilight is quality literature"?

    • Ruhe

      But the dude can nail threes from all around the court! Bieber I mean. Jesus was a one handed ball-stopper who couldn't shoot the lights out of a christmas tree.

    • MissTaken

      "I find that Fox News is Fair and Balanced"

    • shelwood46

      When I was a kid, there was a bad accident on my street. On the other side of the street was the Fishers of Men Baptist Church, a storefront with an apartment over it where two parishioners lived. Hearing the screeching tires, my mom and I ran over, as did the two Baptists. As my mom and I checked the bleeding man on the pavement, the female Baptist leaned in concerned and asked, "Has he been saved?" Mom said, "I think he's breathing but he needs an ambulance." Baptist: "I mean, has he accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior?' Mom: "How the fuck would I know?"

      Idiot Baptist woman went on to pester the cops and EMTs about the state of the victim's soul, too. I don't know why they didn't arrest her.

      She also used to hand out tracts at Halloween to us kids claiming that if we celebrated the holiday we would, according to a printed quote in the Bible, have our souls "slide like a greased bullet into Hell". I was so happy when we moved.

      • And she probably paid no taxes since she lived in a church.

        • bikerlaureate

          But she felt holy, and that's much more important than interfering with first responders when time is of the essence.

    • HistoriCat

      How about, "I sell insurance"?

      Oh – sorry.

  • Ruhe

    Has anyone checked to see if the folks at the Islamic Cultural Society would have been all that offended if Captain Fields had attended the event and then for his own goofy reasons begun "expressing his faith"? Would it be out of line to assume that Muslims in Tulsa probably deal with that sort of borderline wacko shit all the time and probably don't consider it a big deal to have christians explain to them about how if they don't renounce Mohamed or whatever they'll have to wait in Hell with the Dinosaurs until Jesus forgives them? What's the foundation for Fields saying that he wouldn't be able to express his faith?

    • keinsignal

      Well, he's apparently not allowed to proselytize in *uniform*… So I guess handy hint if you ever get arrested in Tulsa, just tell the cop you're a godless heathen and he'll have to just walk away lest he be forced to choose between perdition and Internal Affairs.

      • schvitzatura

        In which case, said cop would quote scripture, "render unto Caesar", and rip you a new bunghole, most likely.


      • bikerlaureate

        That can't be right. A sufficiently holy man wouldn't take a job that forbade him from preaching the gospel during work hours… and certainly not because of a silly little costume. When those multitudes of people burning in Hell cast their eyes up and ask him why, oh why, did he fail to proselytize them hard enough when he was on duty… how will he ever enjoy paradise with the knowledge of such a profound personal failure to obey God?

  • Oblios_Cap

    I can't eat vegetables because I'm a Pastafarian!

    Have you been touched by his noodly appendage, Friend?

  • a_pink_poodle

    You could also just smile and nod. That's what I do when Christians try to proselytize to me. Or try to spin it around "[Insert sob story about someone who doesn't like Christianity and reads the Bible for the first time] and then do you know what happened to that man?" / "He converts to Christianity? Listen, auntie, you keep telling me these conversion stories with predictable endings!"

    • When some stranger wishes me a "Blessed Christmas" I always say, "Thank you, but you do understand, don't you, that not everyone believes in Christ? Happy Holidays!" Drives them right around the bend.

  • barto

    His faith is so shaky he's afraid he might convert to Islam, we guess?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Why would they want him?

    • HogeyeGrex

      One wonders if he feels a similar wariness for entering highway rest stops.

  • MissTaken

    Of course the cop couldn't go to the mosque, they don't allow pigs.

    • Baconzgood

      (rim shot)

    • SorosBot

      Now you're making me want some bacon.

    • Ruhe


  • OkieDokieDog

    One of the local news said that this guy said he was afraid he would be converted to Islam. Seriously.

    • SorosBot

      Well his faith must be very strong then.

      • OkieDokieDog

        Yeah, that's what I thought.

    • T3rbo

      They can do that now? Oh my god…is it some kid of ray that they shoot at you?

    • comrad_darkness

      There is something to this. Goes with the scared to death manufactured terror of Creeping Sharia. I think deep down the X-tians fear their own susceptibility to a stronger authoritarian than their current one.

      Creeping Sharia is actually the shit they politically pull, with limitations on birth control and women's clinics, yet they have this delusion that it's the liberals who want to bring it on. There is no rationality operating here, just peeing in the pants fear of their own weaknesses.

  • mavenmaven

    It is good that he got suspended now, and not after he snapped and started shooting up all presumed middle eastern looking types.

  • James Michael Curley

    "I have a First Amendment Right to not do my job while I work."

    Got Scalia Winner written all over it.

  • CommieLibunatic

    Despite my snarling, antagonistic atheism, I'll humor my brother and go to most any of his preachy little shows. No paycheck or even opportunities to crack skulls.

    So what's THIS crybaby's excuse?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    When is LGBT Law Enforcement Appreciation Day?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Fields replied that he believed the said order was an unlawful one, "in direct conflict with my personal religious convictions." In that email, Fields described Webster's order as, "conscience shocking."

    Dearie me! Would somebody please get Captain Fields a dose of smelling salts and a lovely string of pearls to clutch whilst I lead him to the nearest fainting couch?

  • coolhandnuke

    You can recognize Fields' police cruiser by the bobblehead Jeebus on the dashboard, the fish decal on the rear and the bumper sticker " I protect and serve Christians."

    • Beowoof

      Bet you that statue looks like this one

  • BloviateMe

    Religion. The ultimate man made virus.

    One positive use I've seen employed was my sister's father-in-law, who shut down door to door salesmen by telling them he would have to get with his wife and pray to God and get the big guy's OK before he made any semi-pricey purchase. Sadly, he actually meant it, but to me it seems a brilliant strategy to cut solicitors short.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    “Law Enforcement Appreciation Day” at the Islamic Cultural Society of Tulsa

    Here's a bunch of browns that want to do nice things for you… and you fuck it right up.

  • T3rbo

    I feel really bad for the Muslims who have to live in Oklahoma, but at least those who are in charge of this real murrikn have sense enough to flag this dipshit as someone who MIGHT not treat muslims fairly. The bad news is that this guy now has the credentials to run on the Sarah Palin ticket for president of real merrika-he was crucified, just like Jeesus was, for his faith, I think. Jesus stoned the samaritan, or something, and the jew liberal media crucified him, or something? Never read the bible, no idea.

  • Ruhe

    You see, Christians are like the Borg and their prime directive is to assimilate everyone that can be assimilated. You send Fields into that place and say, hey now, don't you be assimilatin' anyone, well, his head might explode.

  • widestanceromance

    He'd have the same reaction if a Muslim walked peacefully into his church, too.

    Oh, who am I kidding, he'd shoot them with his JC-47 and claim he was defending his country.

  • Nostrildamus

    “I’m a Christian. Okay?"

  • CogitoErgoSumo

    Someone should alert Internal Affairs (Irony Section) so that they can explain that the entire reason this cop was to go to the mosque was precisely the attitude he was expressing. My God, you can't even PAY cops to listen anymore.

  • PubOption

    If you read the entire article, it appears that Fields was in a meeting with his superiors, and was told that he need not attend personally, as long as he arranged for two officers and a supervisor to attend. It seems that even making such arrangements was offending his religion.

  • HogeyeGrex




  • dsgruntled

    This is right up there with the guy from Texas shitting himself over a blah bagging his groceries.Jesus weeps.

  • larrykat

    Tulsa, Oklahoma. Muslims. Christian nut-job cop. What could go wrong?

  • T3rbo

    what I meant to say was


  • YouBetcha

    Latency issues. He's afraid that if he's exposed to their fairy tale, it might sound more appealing than his fairy tale, and he'll convert.

  • As I said before — I don’t know that I can make it any clearer. Islam is not my faith. I am a moron, not a muslin.

  • Sister_Ray

    Further proof that the evil, creeping hand of Sharia Law is further ensnaring our society, folks. This is what happens when you elect a Muslim as president.

  • Callyson

    Oh for Christ's sake.

    • ChessieNefercat

      That's what Jesus said,

  • Tundra Grifter

    Why doesn't Capt. Fields just go, and then invite the Muslins to visit his church and hear how they view things?

    Meanwhile, let's take a look at the duties a Muslim has to his fellow Muslims: He (or she), must offer a greeting when they meet; answer each others's call; wish each other well if one sneezes; visit each other if one is ill; attend the funeral if one dies; and wish for each other what each wishes for her (or him) self. (Thank you Thomas Lippman, "Understanding Islam").

    Who's the "christian" here?

  • That someone like Police Capt. Paul Campbell Fields "serves and protects" (to use the term loosely) in Tulsa, OK, doesn't surprise me in the least. What I find shocking is that his Chief would dock him two weeks’ pay, transfer him, put him on the graveyard shift, and make him ineligible for promotion for at least a year.

    Let's have some love for Deputy Police Chief Alvin Webster! I certainly hope he suffers no reprisals for actually understanding the Constitution. I also hope Fields doesn't win the damages he's seeking but I won't hold my breath if this goes to court.

  • Neoyorquino

    "Fields has said that if it were merely a police matter to which he was called, requiring him to enter a mosque, he would have no problem doing his duty as an officer."

    Translation, "I have no problems going into a mosque to shoot at, arrest and/or handcuff a Muslim, but there's no way I'm going to sit down and get to know them as a human being, and perhaps learn to understand my fellow man – and myself – a little bit better."


  • orygoon

    The poor dear. Before he signed on to the local constabulary, did he now know that "a policeman's lot is not an 'appy one"?

    I guess not–his school probably was moar Rogers and 'Ammerstein.

    • Misty Malarky

      A paradox, a paradox,
      A most ingenious paradox.
      Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
      This paradox.

  • BZ1

    proselytize sounds so much like prostitution, just sayin'

  • ChessieNefercat

    I blame this stupid cop for the giant pop up ad with the delayed reaction close box that takes up half the screen bitching about how Obama is to blame for everything bad since the planet cooled (6000 years ago).

    Geez, Wonkette, if I promise to click on every other ad, can you make this one go away? I'd rather see demon baby back.

    Edit: And what's not to love about autoplay?

  • ChessieNefercat

    "I'm a Christian."

    No, you're not.

  • Butch_Wagstaff

    "*That is the one where the grandfather dinosaur kind of turns out to be Jesus."

    Okay, things are now getting weird for me on the Wonkette. I made a comment very similar to this on the Sen. David "Darwin Just Made Shit Up" Givens thread before I even read this post.
    You people need to get out of my mind or I need to try to stay out of yours. I'm not sure which. It's gettin' scary now.

  • Barrelhse

    You accept Jesus, but guess what, Asshole- He doesn't accept you!
    I'm getting tired of these idiots crawling out of the woodwork, having been encouraged by the devisive discourse from the national GOP. The sheer ignorance of these mindless tools is astounding.

  • PubOption

    It looks like those who most object to this kind of event are the ones who most need to go.

  • mosjef

    On a positive note, his religion permits having oral sex with a nightstick.

  • Isyaignert

    Is that dog wearing a police badge?!?

  • banana_bread

    Jesse Taylor! You took this shitbag asshole and made him into a blog post that made me laugh! I think you're a keeper.

    p.s. don't forget to put a stop on your Scientology check.

  • Oblios_Cap


  • ttommyunger

    "Who would Jesus snub?"

  • LadyWisdom

    My guess is that he's developed a Fox-induced fear of Muslims and he's too chicken to go to their mosque.

  • Egomet_bonmot

    Wait a minute — the cop's right. He shouldn't have to go. He's a monotheist and takes his shit seriously. You don't force a guy like that into a mosque.

    You can tolerate an Eskimo without going to an igloo.

  • thurufally

    Oh, let the stupid bastard believe what he wants for now. Like it or not, he'll convert to Mormonism when he's dead.

  • thurufally

    This little piggy went to market.
    This little piggy stayed home.
    This little piggy had roast beef.
    This little piggy had none.
    This little piggy went, "Wee Wee Wee, I ain't going to no fucking Mosque!"

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