S'ALL GOOD  2:32 pm August 16, 2012

Mitt Romney Went Back And Looked at His Tax Returns For Us!

by Jim Newell

Finally, a little class in American politics. Instead of merely releasing the past ten years of his income tax returns to the public, Mitt Romney took it upon himself to go back and examine the returns for us. He has great news to deliver! “Every year I’ve paid at least 13 percent,” Romney said in South Carolina today, “and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, why the number gets well above 20 percent.”

It’s true, if you add back the amount that Mitt Romney deducted from his taxable income, the number is considerably higher. Just like if you add back the amount your Wonkette author deducts for food delivery each day, the number would be well over 150 percent! Huh? Oh god, we need to return our accountant’s calls…

Anyway, why won’t Mitt Romney release his tax returns?

[Washington Post]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 230 comments }

bumfug August 16, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Well, I'm glad that's settled! Carry on, everyone.

SmutBoffin August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

This should definitely shift the media discussion away from his taxes. There's nothing in these statements that can be over analyzed, endlessly. No sir.

yrbmegr August 16, 2012 at 4:53 pm

The devil's in the denominator, though.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 16, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Isn't that in Georgia? Somewhere below the line.

SmutBoffin August 16, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Wait, is "percent" on the list of Things You Cannot Say About The Romney Campaign, yet?

Is now.

Tundra Grifter August 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I'm quite sure the "T-word" is something you can't post here on Wonkette.

YouBetcha August 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Twat?

Tundra Grifter August 16, 2012 at 3:18 pm

[(Far right wing political movement) - (birthday or other celebration)] & [(Hawaiian canoe - exposed gay person)]

Generation[redacted] August 16, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Titler?

elviouslyqueer August 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Titmouse?

fartknocker August 16, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Turdblossom?

MittBorg August 16, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Taxes?

bikerlaureate August 17, 2012 at 12:11 am

Tax-evader.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 16, 2012 at 5:34 pm

That Tingly feeling?

doloras August 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Trannysurprise?

Lascauxcaveman August 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm

[/thrusts hand eagerly into the air in honor of Arnold Horshck, RIP)

"Oooh! Oooh! Mr Kotter!

'T@rd?"

jakegittes August 16, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Does "polygamy" start with a "T"?

rockyoumonkeys August 16, 2012 at 2:36 pm

What a swell guy! And since he's someone who's never EVER lied to us in the past, we can absolutely take him at his word.

Also, your Mormon Cult doesn't count as a "charity", Mitt. So knock that crap off.

SpeedoFart August 16, 2012 at 2:57 pm

10% required tithe means… *counts on fingers*… *counts on toes*… Yep. That's above 20%!

Mitt, you cheap bastard.

HogeyeGrex August 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Actually, 20-13=7, so he's screwing his church out of three percent too.
Not that all of it isn't bullshit anyway.

What a fucking sack of shit.

Native_of_SL_UT August 16, 2012 at 3:21 pm

This particular "Charity" bought a section of SLC's Main Street and closed it so they could put up a reflective pool next to their temple.
This particular "Charity" just opened the City Creek Mall in a 2 block area in SLC. This "charitable" mall has a Tiffany's, a Rolex Store, a Bose store and many others. It has a retractable roof so that its "charities" aren't affected by bad weather. It even has a stream with fish in it. http://www.shopcitycreekcenter.com/

Designer_Rants August 16, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Kolob City's mall puts that mall to shame.

NellCote71 August 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Exactly. I was screaming at my computer screen (under my breath, I am at work, for pete's sake), fuck you Romney. The Mormon Church is not a charity and since when can you add that back in as some kind of tax?

Hey, IRS, from now on just know that will be paying my taxes in charitable donations to Planned Parenthood, the Innocence Project, MoveOn, ACLU, ASPCA.

writechic August 16, 2012 at 4:26 pm

No, it doesn't count as charity because the donation is compulsory for full access in Mormonlandia. It's not charity if they make ya.

deanbooth August 16, 2012 at 8:07 pm

I'm guessing he counts Social Security and Medicare deductions as charity, also too.

CheeseBro69 August 16, 2012 at 2:37 pm

He gets a yearly $45,000 tax deduction for his gray temples.

rickmaci August 16, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Gray temples, Mormon temples. This whole tax thingy is so galdarn confusin to me and I am just an ordinary 'merican and I don't need to know nuthin 'bout nuthin anyways. And where 'r my Jeezuuz cupcakes?….

yrbmegr August 16, 2012 at 4:49 pm

How much do horses go for these days?

CheeseBro69 August 16, 2012 at 5:01 pm

120k if they're a pure bred

widestanceromance August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

"Trust my lips–I paid taxes."*

*not at rates like you small people, but still.

Generation[redacted] August 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm

No new tax returns!

boobookitteh August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Not really sure how I'm supposed to be reassured by a billionaire paying a way lower tax rate than I do, but it's nice of Mittens to assure us that he has done the absolute least possible to support the country.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 17, 2012 at 3:11 am

What is funny about that statement is Mittens has already said something just like it. I cannot remember the entire statement but I think it goes like this: "if I have paid a dollar more in taxes than what I absolutely must pay, do not vote for me for President"…and the rich like to tell us how much more patriotic they are than the rest of us…

Thurman Munster IV August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

And that 20% went to a church that got Prop 8 passed. This is the moral equivelant of propping up the Contras

MadBrahms August 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Given that Romney actually did support Central American dictatorships, it's less an equivalency that a logical progression.

Lascauxcaveman August 16, 2012 at 3:16 pm

He's pretty consistent, alright.

NellCote71 August 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm

OMG. I had totes forgotten that. This does not bode well for my blood pressure nor my already lousy mood.

Callyson August 16, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Seriously–and no, Mittens, your voluntary donations to charities of *your* choice do not count in figuring out the percent you are legally obligated to pay in taxes, just like ordinary Americans…

LastGasp August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

… and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, why the number gets well above 20 percent.

Sorry Mitt, donations to The Human Fund don't count…

metamarcisf August 16, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Just don't tell Kruger

MadBrahms August 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

I sort of figured it was to TBA.

SpeedoFart August 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Have I ever mentioned that I totally loathe people who use "why" like that?

Who the fuck does that? You're not some 1940s silver screen starlet, Mitt.

Steverino247 August 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm

It just ain't fittin'!

Geminisunmars August 16, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Why…I oughta…

SavageDrummer August 16, 2012 at 3:20 pm

"And if you add in the money that goes to dancing horses and car elevators and yachts and jet-skis and mansions and stuff then I've paid almost the same rate of taxes that someone that makes 1/100 of my income pays, so I'm pretty much the greatest person ever!"

MittBorg August 16, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I pay a higher tax rate than that bastard. Nearly 3 times as high. My income is less than 1% of his income.

Geminisunmars August 16, 2012 at 7:10 pm

But think of all the jobs…

MittBorg August 16, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Yuss?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 16, 2012 at 6:39 pm

" I've paid almost the same rate of taxes that someone that makes 1/100 of my income pays,"

FIFY

Not_So_Much August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Well, we're done here now. He said words about it and we all know he never lies.

Why in the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch would anyone add is charitable fucking donations into the fucking total?

1stNewtontheMoon August 16, 2012 at 2:53 pm

because, you see, he's just cold givin' money away. ya know, churches, charities (white, respectable charities) and the gubmint. all the same. just givin' shit away to certain someones.

taxes are not, you hear me, NOT part of a civic duty and social contract that individuals owe to their sovereign government made up of fellow citizens in return for that government organizing a society around creation and enforcement of rules and infrastructure to enable you, the taxpayer, to go out and provide for you and yours. taxes are not that–at all, my friend. what are you, some kind of commie?

viennawoods13 August 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm

And the fact that his church would come after him with pitchforks or excommunication if he DIDN'T pay that 10%? Not important, right, Mitt?

La_Cieca August 16, 2012 at 3:31 pm

"And if you multiply it by 4, you get 52, which is the number of weeks in a year, which means that I pay taxes every single week, unlike most people who only pay them yearly. And if you count that in horse weeks, well, my friend, that's $77,000 in savings for each American, which is more than enough to keep Medicare solvent until the 55 year old turn 65 and we kill them and harvest their organs."

Not_So_Much August 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Regarding my own tax burden, if you include all the unicorns I say I haven't murdered, then my rate is double-digits higher than his and includes billions and billions of unicorns. I'm doing my part, just like him.

bikerlaureate August 17, 2012 at 12:14 am

I loved this monologue when Robert Preston did it in that snazzy striped blazer.

MittBorg August 16, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Because he's lying, and he knows it, and he's flailing away trying to silence that little voice in his head that keeps saying, "No, you didn't."

Come here a minute August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Mittens: "I also read in my tax returns that there is nothing in there that anyone would think is the least bit illegal, unethical, or immoral. They also say you should vote for me."

1stNewtontheMoon August 16, 2012 at 2:55 pm

they also mentioned something about magic golden plates and required underwear that will protect me from fire and knives. strange sorts, those tax returns. anyway, i listened. and you should too.

SavageDrummer August 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

You need some golden plates to see that last part though…

Tundra Grifter August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

"… if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity…"

If grasshoppers had guns, birds would go hungry.

paulabflat August 16, 2012 at 3:16 pm

wait..wait…i'm writing that down.

that's good stuff.

finallyhappy August 16, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Another great line that I plan to embroider onto a pillow

Tundra Grifter August 16, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I took it from my wife's "Butter My Buns and Call Me a Biscuit" Daily Calendar.

Here's another great one: "If you're planning on buying a rainbow, don't pay cash."

yrbmegr August 16, 2012 at 4:54 pm

…and if you cut the denominator by half, the percentage goes WAY up.

fartknocker August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

So me giving money to my local food bank is part of my taxes? I guess I need to fire my CPA and use one of yours. Can you also help me find a way to deduct the cost of feeding my cat since you deducted $77K for Rafalca?

cromiller August 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Here, here! I will also be giving my CPA a call. do donations to planned parenthood work too?

glasspusher August 16, 2012 at 6:20 pm

What about my "donations" to the sperm bank?

BlueStateLibel August 16, 2012 at 3:16 pm

First, incorporate your cat as an LLC. You then report any of your cat's earnings (mice don't count). And guess what, if your cat doesn't earn anything, you can then claim as a loss the cost of feeding and caring for her (don't forget the cost of cat litter and providing a home for her). Voila, instant tax deduction!

HogeyeGrex August 16, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Corporations are kittehs too, my friend.

MittBorg August 16, 2012 at 5:20 pm

If only they suffered from existential angst, like Henri.

Perfectly safe for work & too cute not to share.

Geminisunmars August 16, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Oui, merde. Sur Monsieur R-argent.

GunToting[Redacted] August 16, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Do I have to itemize regurgitated hairballs as earned income?

MittBorg August 16, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Depends on whether you plan to sell or reuse them.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 16, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Mail them to the Romney campaign. No, wait — mail them to one of the Koch Bros. 501(c) superPACs, and you can deduct them.

marconidarwin August 16, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Well, he has finally assured the crowd who voted for Newt Gingrich that he has nothing to hide.

edgydrifter August 16, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Bless his fucking heart.

MittBorg August 16, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I'd rather eat it, thanks. With a side of onions.

bikerlaureate August 17, 2012 at 12:15 am

Assumes facts not in evidence.

YouBetcha August 16, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Well shit, in that case, sorry for the trouble, dude. Didn't mean to inconvenience you with all of our pesky questions. Obviously there's nothing to see here, so we'll just drop this issue and carry on.

SmutBoffin August 16, 2012 at 2:42 pm

We'll just let you go back to your Quiet Room, Mitt, where we're sure you will come up with an economic plan that cleans all this Great Depression shit right up.

EatsBabyDingos August 16, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Did he give to Our Lady of Perpetual Spin?

HogeyeGrex August 16, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I think I've seen that video.

elviouslyqueer August 16, 2012 at 2:40 pm

We demand that you show us the long form, motherfucker!

What? Hey, if Orly, The Donald, every. single. Fox. News. Talking. Head, and basically everyone within shouting distance of Republicans can use this against Barry, then BY GOD I can repeat it here for Mittens.

insidebeltway August 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Sic Arpagio, whatever his name is, on him.

YouBetcha August 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Also, in case it was ever in question, I would not hit that. Never. Not even if Ann agreed to join.

Sivart_R1 August 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I was under the impression that the taxes were in a blind trust, and that he was unaware himself of what was in them…or is it that he just keeps the access from Ms. Willard, since money discussions just aren't ladylike?

Hammiepants August 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Oh my god, MIttens, see how easy that was!

ChillBill August 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

“and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, why the number gets well above 20 percent.”

Sorry Willard, but your Mormon Church tithe is not "charity."

Tundra Grifter August 16, 2012 at 3:10 pm

CB:

A few issues ago Bloomburg BusinessWeek had a long piece about the Mormon Church, Inc.

It shouldn't be collecting "charitable donations." It should be paying its members dividends.

ChillBill August 16, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I agree; although they don't disclose their finances, they are widely known as the richest church in the world (estimated worth of $30 Billion).

HistoriCat August 16, 2012 at 4:04 pm

You don't call 50% off tuition at BYU a dividend?

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Whew. Finally. Now I guess I have no basis at all for my dislike of this guy. Shame on me.

Extemporanus August 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

"Trust me, you people. I keep my tax returns wrapped in a frock in a box, and when I employed a seer stone in the bottom of a hat to dictate a translation to my accountant, they clearly stated that I paid at least 13%."

Schmannnity August 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I went back and looked at that dead body buried in my back yard, and there appears to be no foul play.

glasspusher August 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm

This.

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 2:54 pm

You know, with a bit of creative accounting you could take that buried dead body as a deduction.

Mittens Howell, III August 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

and 10% of the body's limbs were donated to charity.

FNMA August 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Deduction, hell. Dependent.

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 3:11 pm

My "friends" accountant says I, ummm he, can deduct upkeep on the mowing of the grass and/or the cultivating of the camoflauge shrubs.

Of course, there is always the thought that the body could be buried "off shore".

bikerlaureate August 17, 2012 at 12:16 am

Fertilizer libel !

donatella6 August 17, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Dead bodies are people too, my friend.

bumfug August 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

In the spirit of full disclosure, he said "Of course that's federal, state, local, sales and property tax combined."

GunToting[Redacted] August 16, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Plus what I tip the stableboy.

PuckStopsHere August 17, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Yeah, like he tips his stableboy. Or anyone else.

FakaktaSouth August 16, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I agree, focusing on how he paid so little in taxes IS small minded – we need to get more "big picture here" and focus on the evil, illegal, life-screwing ways he made any of his money to begin with. If anyone should know about small minds, it is this guy.

randcoolcatdaddy August 16, 2012 at 2:42 pm

If I just paid a 13% tax rate, I'd be on Craigslist, creating some jobs and stimulating the economy, if you catch my drift.

orygoon August 16, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Since you have no credibility anyway, Mitt, and Ann reiterated that no more returns will be released to our prying eyes, why didn't you say you paid 45%?

Also, what are "taxes"? Are they taxes on your IRS returns, or sales taxes on dressage equipment?

SorosBot August 16, 2012 at 2:52 pm

At least he pays sales taxes on his hardware stuff!

FraAnima August 16, 2012 at 2:43 pm

And pay no attention to the fact that the adjusted gross is less than what Rafalca makes, it's all perfectly fair and (almost) legal.

ManchuCandidate August 16, 2012 at 2:43 pm

So, he made less than 70K (based on family)?

I thought he was a mega millionaire…

James Michael Curley August 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Is this guy stupid or does he think we all are?

widestanceromance August 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Yes.

kittensdontlie August 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I have reviewed Mitt's(expletve deleted) taxes and I can also vouch for his (more expletives deleted) honesty—Richard Milhous Nixon

Puffperney August 16, 2012 at 3:01 pm

No, he's just entitled. Unfortunately, most of us are, if you will, stupid.

paulabflat August 16, 2012 at 3:21 pm

well. he's stupid enough to think we all are.

so…

cletar August 16, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Little of both.

DerrickWildcat August 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

So is he calling Harry Reid a liar? Romney better put up or shut up!

ph7 August 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Here's the thing. Someone has copies of those forms, but Harry Reid, or anybody else, is subject to a FELONY for releasing the contents publicly.

So, Reid probably has the goods, but he sadly can't prove it without being accused of a criminal act. Mitt knows this, and is trying to game Reid. And if the returns are leaked to the press, the Republicans will accuse the Obama administration of illegally accessing IRS records, and it would probably be worse PR for the Dems than Mitt.

It's a weird dance.

Geminisunmars August 16, 2012 at 7:54 pm

I think you might have something there.

1 – 2 cha cha cha

IncenseDebate August 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Show us the tax returns, Mittens. Sheesh, you'd think he was asked to prove he was really a 'merican or something.

SorosBot August 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

"And now" said Romney, "I'm going to go have sex with my wife, Morgan Fairchild. Yeah, that's the ticket."

Steverino247 August 16, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Hey, I've met Morgan Fairchild. She's very pro-choice and wouldn't let that asshole anywhere near her Magic Kingdom.

iburl August 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

I love it when people "add in addition". Why, that's really the best way to add in.

Sorry Mitt, if you paid at least 13% (of what?) in taxes, and including charity, why, well over 20%, it almost sounds as if, why, you are not paying your 10% tithes to American Jesus Church.

Why, who are you ripping off Mitt? America, or American Jesus? Hmm? Why.

OneYieldRegular August 16, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Adding in addition is helpful, particularly when you've already subtracted $77,000 for your dancing horse.

NYNYNYjr August 16, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Good point… big man can't do his 10%?

Buzz Feedback August 16, 2012 at 2:44 pm

"There's one for you, nineteen for me."

sullivanst August 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm

If you add back the amount I pay in mortgage interest, I pay a metric fuckton more than 20%, I can fucking tell you!

paulabflat August 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

you made me laugh.

glasspusher August 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Mitt Romney: "I am the 13 percent!"

SorosBot August 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm

13 percent is still way less than what normal people who actually work for a living pay, dickwad. Oh and money you donate to the Mormon Church does not count; especially since that money goes towards an organization that actively works to make the world a worse place.

1stNewtontheMoon August 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

let he who has not considered black people part of a cursed inferior/devil race until the 1980s cast the first stone.

coolhandnuke August 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Mitt could have said "I'll ban religion, guns, alcohol and raise gas to 50 dollars a gallon and oh by the way Obama is still black"… and he'd still win in South Carolina.

1stNewtontheMoon August 16, 2012 at 3:05 pm

isn't that exactly what the 2004 version of MittBot campaigned on?

TavariousChinaSmith August 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm

If you don't believe Rmoney, just ask the Angel Moremoney. He'll tell you.

Ruhe August 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Can this really be how it's going to go? Just like the last election? When the Republican party masturbated for practically two years in order to produce candidate McCain who promptly chose an Alaskan village's idiot as his running mate and thereby imploded his already weak campaign? Are they really on the verge, what with Ryan and Mitt's tax issue, of just straight fucking it up again? And yet they'll probably hang on to power in the congress. To paraphrase John Lovitz as Dukakis, "how are we losing to these guys?"

SayItWithWookies August 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Of course Mitt paid no less than 13% — especially during those years when he was able to wheedle his adjusted gross income down to zero dollars.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 16, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Well, 13% of 0 = 0.

emmelemm August 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm

When I was a whiny teenager, I was trying to convince my mom to let me do something (stupid) and that I was "responsible enough" etc. I told her, "I'm 10 times as responsible as my friends!"

She merely said, "10 times 0 is still 0."

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

And 13% of zero is…
*puts on glasses and pokes at calculator*
HEY!

HistoriCat August 16, 2012 at 4:20 pm

A big skull-fucking dog is a serious sight. A big skull-fucking dog wearing glasses is a being who demands – nay, requires – respect.

Naked_Bunny August 16, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Dogs and cats commenting together. Mass hysteria!

Geminisunmars August 16, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Dogs and cats – comingling!

smitallica August 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm

So basically, Mitt, you just admitted that you paid 13% on your millions in income that you earned at your job of not having a job, while I paid twice that on the fraction of that I earned by working 60-hour weeks?

And you thought that would make you look BETTER???

WhatTheHeck August 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm

He just gave the libruls their ammunition, only the .22 just bumped up to .45.

1stNewtontheMoon August 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Yeah, 13% on the first zero dollars of taxable income. After that, well, whatever.

anniegetyerfun August 16, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Ah, yes, a valid point.

widestanceromance August 16, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Trust, and I'll self-verify. Yeah, sure.

Rich man, eye of needle, camel, etc.

StealthMuslin August 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm

If the Mormon church gets to be a charity then so do NAMBLA, Stormfront and the Cato Institute.

PsycWench August 16, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Wait, they're three separate organizations?

NellCote71 August 16, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Good catch.

barto August 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm

So he almost pays as much as a working stiff like me, when you add back in his tithing? And this will allay everyone's concerns…

RRoccoco August 16, 2012 at 2:52 pm

When we get the bill for his "consulting" fees, won't we be surprised! No, no we won't.

Typodong3 August 16, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Ahhh.. ok. I feel much better now. Gotta wonder tho… 13%, plus the 10% you are supposed to tithe to your church.. why couldnt you say 23% and be done with it, instead of "well over" 20? Even when admitting something, you still HAVE to fudge. idiot.

MadBrahms August 16, 2012 at 2:54 pm

It's about time we had a candidate who is willing to stand up for the New Math.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm

People in polite society don't talk about money, okay? So STFU!

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Well, I'm sure Romney released his taxes so we can see with him that he is telling the truth.

insidebeltway August 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I'm sad Mitt doesn't trust us enough to show us the returns. Really, we'd understand.

DerrickWildcat August 16, 2012 at 2:57 pm

I paid 13.1% in taxes and with that car Elevator I bought, the total is closer to 20%!

widestanceromance August 16, 2012 at 2:57 pm

When is he going to shut up about his taxes? Is he that desperate to deflect attention over raping and murdering that girl? Geez.

Steverino247 August 16, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I just read (while typing it) that he murdered then raped that girl.

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 2:57 pm

Wait a minute. He is bringing up the back Taxes issue? Is the Ryan/Medicare pick weighing his campaign down????

Blueb4sinrise August 16, 2012 at 2:58 pm

I wish I could remember what Saint Ronnie said that one time…..what was it again,……c'mon …you know the one I mean……..

RedneckMuslin August 16, 2012 at 3:12 pm

My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes?

Blueb4sinrise August 16, 2012 at 3:19 pm

errrrrrrrrr, maybe………..had something to do with that……

FlownOver August 16, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Or was it "Well, Mommy, is it time to go home yet?"

Blueb4sinrise August 16, 2012 at 6:31 pm

That was from Blue Velvet wasn't it?

BornInATrailer August 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Seems legit.

plinthic August 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Right, and if he subtracts out the money he's robbed from poor people, then his effective tax right is (… carry the two …) — negative 15% !

smokefilledroommate August 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm

If everything's hunky dory, then why don't you simply release your fucking taxes ?

Baconzgood August 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

"Every year I’ve paid at least 13 percent,”

Now he didn't say anything about what kind of taxes they are. Are these property taxes? Sales tax? Income? Luxury tax? Gas tax?

NellCote71 August 16, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Eggs-hack-lee.

Darklady August 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Oh, well then… 13 percent on money he didn't break a sweat to "earn." Seems fair.

What do those of us who actually work for a living pay in taxes?

BTW — Donating 10% to the Mormon church hardly feels like "charity" to me, especially given how involved in politics the church is.

smitallica August 16, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Hey now, be fair. Baptizing dead people to be members of your cockamamie bullshit "faith" isn't free, you know.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 16, 2012 at 3:01 pm

So, if he is paying at least 13% in taxes, and another 7-10% in charrity (didn't know that counted as taxes, but OK), and is supposed to be tithing 10% to the church, it would appear that Romney just admitted his is screwing over his own church.

Chichikovovich August 16, 2012 at 3:02 pm

and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, the number goes well above 20 percent

"Now in fact, we don't have a team of accountants or anything like that, we're just ordinary folks like you." he continued "But we did ask a friend to punch some numbers into his calculator. Do you realize that *my contributions* amounted to over 57.8% of all the money spent smearing gay people and preventing them from marrying?"

savethispatient August 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

If a married couple earns $46,000 in 2012, their effective tax rate will be 13.11%. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

orygoon August 16, 2012 at 3:26 pm

You too, huh? that's not far from where our returns hover, most years.

And we pay state income taxes and federal gasoline taxes and the SS withholding on my p/t job. (No sales tax in gooneyland.)

plinthic August 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

"So you see, contributing to charity is just the same as paying taxes, because it's money down the toilet. "

Do you ever wonder why people hate you, Mittens?

ph7 August 16, 2012 at 3:10 pm

The 1% vigorously nod their heads in approval, however. You don't get to the top by giving it all away!

Blunderthing August 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Romney looked up from sucking a dick,etc…oh well, you get the picture.

Oblios_Cap August 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Mitt the Twit, indeed. The Brits told us.

ph7 August 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Mitt views human charity as a form of tax on his enormous wealth? He's an even bigger douchbag than I thought.

proudgrampa August 16, 2012 at 3:05 pm

So, do you realize how much this story parallels the story of Joseph Smith and the "golden plates?"

After Smith supposedly translated the plates into what would become the Mormon bible, he "returned" them to Moroni and they were never seen again.

Mitt is just using that lie as the basis of his own: maybe we'll find the tax returns buried in a hill near Palmyra, NY.

Steverino247 August 16, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Inscribed on gold plates in the bathroom of the Alamo.

Nesnora August 16, 2012 at 3:05 pm

That article was fucking insane. Fuck you, WSJ. Seriously. This takes "nothing of the table" (that was the actual typo in the article too). What was his TAXABLE INCOME REPORTED for that 13%? Fucking cunts. Also— we take his word for this? Nope. He's a proven liar, this is ridiculous.

montreal_bruin August 16, 2012 at 3:41 pm

That is the key to his weasel words. He's deferred, tax-exempted and expatriated his taxable income down to near nothing, and paid "at least 13%" of that each year. The big embarrassment will be his taxable income.

Guppy August 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm

“and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, why the number gets well above 20 percent.”

Pouring money into Yes on 8 isn't charity, it's speech. Get it right!

johnnyzhivago August 16, 2012 at 3:07 pm

We've now heard it from the dancing horse's mouth.

Extemporanus August 16, 2012 at 3:09 pm

"Congratulations", sir — you were correct.

fartknocker August 16, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Wow, but I am not surprised.

johnnyzhivago August 16, 2012 at 3:46 pm

The surprise is ruined now!!!!

ph7 August 16, 2012 at 3:07 pm

13% tax rate on $1.57 of taxable income, after deducting that $57M loss arising from the Cayman – Boogie Trot – Vader swap.

mavenmaven August 16, 2012 at 3:13 pm

He's a rich white guy so we are simply supposed to accede to his word. Now back to work.

ph7 August 16, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Not like that lyin' Kenyan, who went back in a time machine and posted birth announcements in the Hawaiian newspapers on the week of his birth. Him, he's gotta show the papers. All the papers.

Tundra Grifter August 16, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Both Mr. and Mrs. (r)Money have repeatedly said they don't want to release anything other than two years' Federal income tax returns, because to do so will just give the Democrats "more ammunition."

That is just flat out saying "We have something to hide."

NellCote71 August 16, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I loved seeing her head explode during the interview yesterday. Seriously, I thought she was going to have an aneurysm. Can we still say "aneurysm?"

rickmaci August 16, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I just love Shitt Romoney's attitude; "Move along folks, nothing to see here. Move along."

BlueStateLibel August 16, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Notices he just says, "I've paid 13%." That could be 13% of anything – property taxes, sales tax, etc.

pdiddycornchips August 16, 2012 at 3:21 pm

So RMoney has documents that no one else can see. Okay. He then translates these documents and now he intends to lead this faithful nation as god intended? Does this sound familiar? Not sure where but I'm sure I've heard a similar story.

PubOption August 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

What is Mitt doing with his charitable contributions? It sounds like he is deducting them from his gross income, (Is that gross in the sense of obscene?), before tax, and then deducting them from the tax owing, as well. If I tried that I would be in jail, as would any accountant involved.

Mittens Howell, III August 16, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Thank you Mr Romney, that clears things up marvelously!

Um …

Follow-up question Mr Romney, was that 13% of the money you left in the U.S. or does that also include the money spread across all those other countries?

Follow-up question Mr Romney, when you say 10% donated to charity do you mean 'charity' as in Mormon fund to discriminate against Gay people?

Follow-up question Mr Romney, if that 10% did go to the Mormon church, was that 10% of your gross or net income (I know, aaawkwaaard!)?

Follow-up question Mr Romney, was Rafalca a one-off $77, 000 deduction or do you get $77, 000 each year for that?

Follow-up question Mr Romney, so did you take the amnesty in 2009 for your Swiss Bank account in order to avoid possible criminal prosecution?

Follow-up question Mr Romney, do you think your Dad was a pussy for releasing twelve years of tax returns when he ran for President?

Follow-up question Mr Romney, can I pay 13% income tax on my income, please?

Follow-up question Mr Romney, when are you going to fuck off?

James Michael Curley August 16, 2012 at 3:27 pm

If this twit was 'self employed' his tax rate for SSA – HI (Medicare) is 2.90%. Subtract that from his alleged 13% and you have a taxable rate of 10.1%.

Also, 2.90% of the alleged $21 million he earned in 2010, by his return, is $609,000.

fuflans August 16, 2012 at 3:30 pm

this fucking guy.

Pat_Pending August 16, 2012 at 3:32 pm

He would have SO had his perfectly coiffed head on the block in the French Revolution. Knit on, Madam DeFarge…

Weenus299 August 16, 2012 at 3:36 pm

HA!
Sen. Harry Reid just made a multimillionaire BRAG that he paid 13.6 percent in taxes!

Eve8Apples August 16, 2012 at 3:37 pm

This is that special millionaire/billionaire math where you channel most of your income and assets into trusts, LLCs, overseas accounts and shelters, and tax free investments. You then deduct everything allowed by the IRS. When the millionaire/billionaire math is complete, you realize you made $1.00 so you stick 13 pennies in an envelope and mail it to the IRS claiming you paid a 13% tax.

Incitefully_Joe August 16, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I could swear there's some sort of joke here about a famous Mormon who had documents that only he could read and how everyone really just had to take his word for it about what they said, but for the life of me, I can't think of one.

DahBoner August 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm

He's a Looker…

MinAgain August 16, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's 13%, Mittens.

comrad_darkness August 16, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Bitches, the years I worked for myself I paid 45%+

BornInATrailer August 16, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I think a gazillionaire that is running for president, who refuses to release more than 1 (maybe eventually 2!) years of returns, but then goes back to check them to let you know it was "never less than 13% tax" perfectly captures the feeling behind the phrase "That's mighty white of you."

lochnessmonster August 16, 2012 at 5:16 pm

So he's trying to say he paid more than 13% after he deducted for "charitable contributions"??? What?

8bitrocket August 16, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I'n now tax accountant, but I believe "effective" tax rate means the amount of money you paid in tax AFTER all the deductions are taken, "charity" being one of those deductions. Adding those two numbers together doesn't equal anything useful except the conclusion that Romney doesn't even know what is in his tax returns (he just signed them, like those Bain docs), and that scares him more than the idea of not releasing them.

mr bojangles August 16, 2012 at 5:30 pm

13% x 0 = 0! learned that in second grade (public, not private)

Comrade Wingtardd August 16, 2012 at 5:38 pm

In 2011, a single person making 45,000 would pay 16.4%, and Millions Mittens pays 13%. God our tax code is fucked up.

BZ1 August 16, 2012 at 5:39 pm

the amount that goes to charity my tithe…

Pap Finn August 16, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Christ, doesn’t he, or anyone around him, understand that the more he insists on the uprightness of his tax history while pissily withholding the evidence to support the claim, the more hilariously mendacious he looks? Who the hell is advising him? It's fucking amateur hour.

bikerlaureate August 17, 2012 at 12:31 am

By keeping the rubes all a-froth over the taxes, there's less attention paid to Rmoney's pathological robo-lying.

imissopus August 16, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Well that's a relief. I was afraid those returns might have something shady in them.

Naked_Bunny August 16, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Well, hell, if we get to add in non-tax payments when talking about our tax rates, then I want to include my rent and grocery bills. That puts my effective tax rate at, I dunno, 60% or something. No, you can't see my receipts.

NYNYNYjr August 16, 2012 at 9:49 pm

If you deduct the amount for charity… ha ha…. Romney Foundation for Children to Learn About Taking Care of Horses. Might as well do it at our stables. Manuel, show these kids what to do.

mosjef August 16, 2012 at 9:56 pm

He sounds like an ad for a strip mall tax joint. Bring your 1040 to H&R Blockhead, where you'll never pay less than 13%! Unless you're caught.

VinnieSaltine August 16, 2012 at 11:32 pm

"The fascination with the amount of taxes I paid, I find, to be very small-minded….but I did go back and look at my taxes."

Mitt Romney admitting that he is small-minded.

valmach August 16, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Broken .. is not the word i would use to describe disenfranchisement of 25 million African Americans.. 400 Years of Slavery and 150 years of Jim Crowe , fighting and dying for this country and this is how their loyalty is repaid.. ? Tell the African American and Latino Soldiers who are dying in Afghanistan that their parents cannot vote – because white America is too busy taking it away from them.. Sick Twisted Racism.. America is F… d!

dennis1943 August 17, 2012 at 9:14 am

Mitt did homework for us…….?……and then the dog ate it…..?

Troglodeity August 17, 2012 at 2:08 pm

What he didn't mention is that after all his deductions, his net annual income he paid 13% on averaged, oh, about sixty thousand bucks.

Prove me wrong, Mittbot!

ttommyunger August 17, 2012 at 7:41 pm

"I pay big money in taxes and by the way, I'm much Holier Than Thou in the fucking bargain, so suck on that, you people!

MittBorg August 16, 2012 at 7:38 pm

I'm sure Henri would be delighted to oblige. (Hugs the Gem)

Geminisunmars August 16, 2012 at 7:44 pm

(squeezes the PoliCat, and skritches his ears)

MittBorg August 16, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Prrr. (settles in for a warm friendly hug)

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