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Mitt Romney Went Back And Looked at His Tax Returns For Us!

Finally, a little class in American politics. Instead of merely releasing the past ten years of his income tax returns to the public, Mitt Romney took it upon himself to go back and examine the returns for us. He has great news to deliver! “Every year I’ve paid at least 13 percent,” Romney said in South Carolina today, “and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, why the number gets well above 20 percent.”

It’s true, if you add back the amount that Mitt Romney deducted from his taxable income, the number is considerably higher. Just like if you add back the amount your Wonkette author deducts for food delivery each day, the number would be well over 150 percent! Huh? Oh god, we need to return our accountant’s calls…

Anyway, why won’t Mitt Romney release his tax returns?

[Washington Post]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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230 comments

    1. SmutBoffin

      This should definitely shift the media discussion away from his taxes. There's nothing in these statements that can be over analyzed, endlessly. No sir.

  1. SmutBoffin

    Wait, is "percent" on the list of Things You Cannot Say About The Romney Campaign, yet?

    Is now.

        1. Tundra Grifter

          [(Far right wing political movement) - (birthday or other celebration)] & [(Hawaiian canoe - exposed gay person)]

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      [/thrusts hand eagerly into the air in honor of Arnold Horshck, RIP)

      "Oooh! Oooh! Mr Kotter!

      'T@rd?"

  2. rockyoumonkeys

    What a swell guy! And since he's someone who's never EVER lied to us in the past, we can absolutely take him at his word.

    Also, your Mormon Cult doesn't count as a "charity", Mitt. So knock that crap off.

    1. SpeedoFart

      10% required tithe means… *counts on fingers*… *counts on toes*… Yep. That's above 20%!

      Mitt, you cheap bastard.

      1. HogeyeGrex

        Actually, 20-13=7, so he's screwing his church out of three percent too.
        Not that all of it isn't bullshit anyway.

        What a fucking sack of shit.

    2. Native_of_SL_UT

      This particular "Charity" bought a section of SLC's Main Street and closed it so they could put up a reflective pool next to their temple.
      This particular "Charity" just opened the City Creek Mall in a 2 block area in SLC. This "charitable" mall has a Tiffany's, a Rolex Store, a Bose store and many others. It has a retractable roof so that its "charities" aren't affected by bad weather. It even has a stream with fish in it. http://www.shopcitycreekcenter.com/

    3. NellCote71

      Exactly. I was screaming at my computer screen (under my breath, I am at work, for pete's sake), fuck you Romney. The Mormon Church is not a charity and since when can you add that back in as some kind of tax?

      Hey, IRS, from now on just know that will be paying my taxes in charitable donations to Planned Parenthood, the Innocence Project, MoveOn, ACLU, ASPCA.

    1. rickmaci

      Gray temples, Mormon temples. This whole tax thingy is so galdarn confusin to me and I am just an ordinary 'merican and I don't need to know nuthin 'bout nuthin anyways. And where 'r my Jeezuuz cupcakes?….

  3. boobookitteh

    Not really sure how I'm supposed to be reassured by a billionaire paying a way lower tax rate than I do, but it's nice of Mittens to assure us that he has done the absolute least possible to support the country.

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      What is funny about that statement is Mittens has already said something just like it. I cannot remember the entire statement but I think it goes like this: "if I have paid a dollar more in taxes than what I absolutely must pay, do not vote for me for President"…and the rich like to tell us how much more patriotic they are than the rest of us…

  4. Thurman Munster IV

    And that 20% went to a church that got Prop 8 passed. This is the moral equivelant of propping up the Contras

    1. MadBrahms

      Given that Romney actually did support Central American dictatorships, it's less an equivalency that a logical progression.

    2. NellCote71

      OMG. I had totes forgotten that. This does not bode well for my blood pressure nor my already lousy mood.

    3. Callyson

      Seriously–and no, Mittens, your voluntary donations to charities of *your* choice do not count in figuring out the percent you are legally obligated to pay in taxes, just like ordinary Americans…

  5. LastGasp

    … and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, why the number gets well above 20 percent.

    Sorry Mitt, donations to The Human Fund don't count…

    1. SpeedoFart

      Have I ever mentioned that I totally loathe people who use "why" like that?

      Who the fuck does that? You're not some 1940s silver screen starlet, Mitt.

    2. SavageDrummer

      "And if you add in the money that goes to dancing horses and car elevators and yachts and jet-skis and mansions and stuff then I've paid almost the same rate of taxes that someone that makes 1/100 of my income pays, so I'm pretty much the greatest person ever!"

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        " I've paid almost the same rate of taxes that someone that makes 1/100 of my income pays,"

        FIFY

  6. Not_So_Much

    Well, we're done here now. He said words about it and we all know he never lies.

    Why in the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch would anyone add is charitable fucking donations into the fucking total?

    1. 1stNewtontheMoon

      because, you see, he's just cold givin' money away. ya know, churches, charities (white, respectable charities) and the gubmint. all the same. just givin' shit away to certain someones.

      taxes are not, you hear me, NOT part of a civic duty and social contract that individuals owe to their sovereign government made up of fellow citizens in return for that government organizing a society around creation and enforcement of rules and infrastructure to enable you, the taxpayer, to go out and provide for you and yours. taxes are not that–at all, my friend. what are you, some kind of commie?

      1. viennawoods13

        And the fact that his church would come after him with pitchforks or excommunication if he DIDN'T pay that 10%? Not important, right, Mitt?

    2. La_Cieca

      "And if you multiply it by 4, you get 52, which is the number of weeks in a year, which means that I pay taxes every single week, unlike most people who only pay them yearly. And if you count that in horse weeks, well, my friend, that's $77,000 in savings for each American, which is more than enough to keep Medicare solvent until the 55 year old turn 65 and we kill them and harvest their organs."

      1. Not_So_Much

        Regarding my own tax burden, if you include all the unicorns I say I haven't murdered, then my rate is double-digits higher than his and includes billions and billions of unicorns. I'm doing my part, just like him.

    3. MittBorg

      Because he's lying, and he knows it, and he's flailing away trying to silence that little voice in his head that keeps saying, "No, you didn't."

  7. Come here a minute

    Mittens: "I also read in my tax returns that there is nothing in there that anyone would think is the least bit illegal, unethical, or immoral. They also say you should vote for me."

    1. 1stNewtontheMoon

      they also mentioned something about magic golden plates and required underwear that will protect me from fire and knives. strange sorts, those tax returns. anyway, i listened. and you should too.

  8. Tundra Grifter

    "… if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity…"

    If grasshoppers had guns, birds would go hungry.

      1. Tundra Grifter

        I took it from my wife's "Butter My Buns and Call Me a Biscuit" Daily Calendar.

        Here's another great one: "If you're planning on buying a rainbow, don't pay cash."

  9. fartknocker

    So me giving money to my local food bank is part of my taxes? I guess I need to fire my CPA and use one of yours. Can you also help me find a way to deduct the cost of feeding my cat since you deducted $77K for Rafalca?

    1. cromiller

      Here, here! I will also be giving my CPA a call. do donations to planned parenthood work too?

    2. BlueStateLibel

      First, incorporate your cat as an LLC. You then report any of your cat's earnings (mice don't count). And guess what, if your cat doesn't earn anything, you can then claim as a loss the cost of feeding and caring for her (don't forget the cost of cat litter and providing a home for her). Voila, instant tax deduction!

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          Mail them to the Romney campaign. No, wait — mail them to one of the Koch Bros. 501(c) superPACs, and you can deduct them.

  10. marconidarwin

    Well, he has finally assured the crowd who voted for Newt Gingrich that he has nothing to hide.

  11. YouBetcha

    Well shit, in that case, sorry for the trouble, dude. Didn't mean to inconvenience you with all of our pesky questions. Obviously there's nothing to see here, so we'll just drop this issue and carry on.

    1. SmutBoffin

      We'll just let you go back to your Quiet Room, Mitt, where we're sure you will come up with an economic plan that cleans all this Great Depression shit right up.

  12. elviouslyqueer

    We demand that you show us the long form, motherfucker!

    What? Hey, if Orly, The Donald, every. single. Fox. News. Talking. Head, and basically everyone within shouting distance of Republicans can use this against Barry, then BY GOD I can repeat it here for Mittens.

  13. YouBetcha

    Also, in case it was ever in question, I would not hit that. Never. Not even if Ann agreed to join.

  14. Sivart_R1

    I was under the impression that the taxes were in a blind trust, and that he was unaware himself of what was in them…or is it that he just keeps the access from Ms. Willard, since money discussions just aren't ladylike?

  15. ChillBill

    “and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, why the number gets well above 20 percent.”

    Sorry Willard, but your Mormon Church tithe is not "charity."

    1. Tundra Grifter

      CB:

      A few issues ago Bloomburg BusinessWeek had a long piece about the Mormon Church, Inc.

      It shouldn't be collecting "charitable donations." It should be paying its members dividends.

      1. ChillBill

        I agree; although they don't disclose their finances, they are widely known as the richest church in the world (estimated worth of $30 Billion).

  16. Jus_Wonderin

    Whew. Finally. Now I guess I have no basis at all for my dislike of this guy. Shame on me.

  17. Extemporanus

    "Trust me, you people. I keep my tax returns wrapped in a frock in a box, and when I employed a seer stone in the bottom of a hat to dictate a translation to my accountant, they clearly stated that I paid at least 13%."

  18. Schmannnity

    I went back and looked at that dead body buried in my back yard, and there appears to be no foul play.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      You know, with a bit of creative accounting you could take that buried dead body as a deduction.

        1. Jus_Wonderin

          My "friends" accountant says I, ummm he, can deduct upkeep on the mowing of the grass and/or the cultivating of the camoflauge shrubs.

          Of course, there is always the thought that the body could be buried "off shore".

  19. bumfug

    In the spirit of full disclosure, he said "Of course that's federal, state, local, sales and property tax combined."

  20. FakaktaSouth

    I agree, focusing on how he paid so little in taxes IS small minded – we need to get more "big picture here" and focus on the evil, illegal, life-screwing ways he made any of his money to begin with. If anyone should know about small minds, it is this guy.

  21. randcoolcatdaddy

    If I just paid a 13% tax rate, I'd be on Craigslist, creating some jobs and stimulating the economy, if you catch my drift.

  22. orygoon

    Since you have no credibility anyway, Mitt, and Ann reiterated that no more returns will be released to our prying eyes, why didn't you say you paid 45%?

    Also, what are "taxes"? Are they taxes on your IRS returns, or sales taxes on dressage equipment?

  23. FraAnima

    And pay no attention to the fact that the adjusted gross is less than what Rafalca makes, it's all perfectly fair and (almost) legal.

      1. kittensdontlie

        I have reviewed Mitt's(expletve deleted) taxes and I can also vouch for his (more expletives deleted) honesty—Richard Milhous Nixon

    1. ph7

      Here's the thing. Someone has copies of those forms, but Harry Reid, or anybody else, is subject to a FELONY for releasing the contents publicly.

      So, Reid probably has the goods, but he sadly can't prove it without being accused of a criminal act. Mitt knows this, and is trying to game Reid. And if the returns are leaked to the press, the Republicans will accuse the Obama administration of illegally accessing IRS records, and it would probably be worse PR for the Dems than Mitt.

      It's a weird dance.

  24. IncenseDebate

    Show us the tax returns, Mittens. Sheesh, you'd think he was asked to prove he was really a 'merican or something.

  25. SorosBot

    "And now" said Romney, "I'm going to go have sex with my wife, Morgan Fairchild. Yeah, that's the ticket."

    1. Steverino247

      Hey, I've met Morgan Fairchild. She's very pro-choice and wouldn't let that asshole anywhere near her Magic Kingdom.

  26. iburl

    I love it when people "add in addition". Why, that's really the best way to add in.

    Sorry Mitt, if you paid at least 13% (of what?) in taxes, and including charity, why, well over 20%, it almost sounds as if, why, you are not paying your 10% tithes to American Jesus Church.

    Why, who are you ripping off Mitt? America, or American Jesus? Hmm? Why.

    1. OneYieldRegular

      Adding in addition is helpful, particularly when you've already subtracted $77,000 for your dancing horse.

  27. sullivanst

    If you add back the amount I pay in mortgage interest, I pay a metric fuckton more than 20%, I can fucking tell you!

  28. SorosBot

    13 percent is still way less than what normal people who actually work for a living pay, dickwad. Oh and money you donate to the Mormon Church does not count; especially since that money goes towards an organization that actively works to make the world a worse place.

    1. 1stNewtontheMoon

      let he who has not considered black people part of a cursed inferior/devil race until the 1980s cast the first stone.

  29. coolhandnuke

    Mitt could have said "I'll ban religion, guns, alcohol and raise gas to 50 dollars a gallon and oh by the way Obama is still black"… and he'd still win in South Carolina.

  30. Ruhe

    Can this really be how it's going to go? Just like the last election? When the Republican party masturbated for practically two years in order to produce candidate McCain who promptly chose an Alaskan village's idiot as his running mate and thereby imploded his already weak campaign? Are they really on the verge, what with Ryan and Mitt's tax issue, of just straight fucking it up again? And yet they'll probably hang on to power in the congress. To paraphrase John Lovitz as Dukakis, "how are we losing to these guys?"

      1. emmelemm

        When I was a whiny teenager, I was trying to convince my mom to let me do something (stupid) and that I was "responsible enough" etc. I told her, "I'm 10 times as responsible as my friends!"

        She merely said, "10 times 0 is still 0."

      1. HistoriCat

        A big skull-fucking dog is a serious sight. A big skull-fucking dog wearing glasses is a being who demands – nay, requires – respect.

  31. smitallica

    So basically, Mitt, you just admitted that you paid 13% on your millions in income that you earned at your job of not having a job, while I paid twice that on the fraction of that I earned by working 60-hour weeks?

    And you thought that would make you look BETTER???

  32. StealthMuslin

    If the Mormon church gets to be a charity then so do NAMBLA, Stormfront and the Cato Institute.

  33. barto

    So he almost pays as much as a working stiff like me, when you add back in his tithing? And this will allay everyone's concerns…

  34. Typodong3

    Ahhh.. ok. I feel much better now. Gotta wonder tho… 13%, plus the 10% you are supposed to tithe to your church.. why couldnt you say 23% and be done with it, instead of "well over" 20? Even when admitting something, you still HAVE to fudge. idiot.

  35. widestanceromance

    When is he going to shut up about his taxes? Is he that desperate to deflect attention over raping and murdering that girl? Geez.

  36. Jus_Wonderin

    Wait a minute. He is bringing up the back Taxes issue? Is the Ryan/Medicare pick weighing his campaign down????

  37. Blueb4sinrise

    I wish I could remember what Saint Ronnie said that one time…..what was it again,……c'mon …you know the one I mean……..

    1. RedneckMuslin

      My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes?

  38. plinthic

    Right, and if he subtracts out the money he's robbed from poor people, then his effective tax right is (… carry the two …) — negative 15% !

  39. Baconzgood

    "Every year I’ve paid at least 13 percent,”

    Now he didn't say anything about what kind of taxes they are. Are these property taxes? Sales tax? Income? Luxury tax? Gas tax?

  40. Darklady

    Oh, well then… 13 percent on money he didn't break a sweat to "earn." Seems fair.

    What do those of us who actually work for a living pay in taxes?

    BTW — Donating 10% to the Mormon church hardly feels like "charity" to me, especially given how involved in politics the church is.

    1. smitallica

      Hey now, be fair. Baptizing dead people to be members of your cockamamie bullshit "faith" isn't free, you know.

  41. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, if he is paying at least 13% in taxes, and another 7-10% in charrity (didn't know that counted as taxes, but OK), and is supposed to be tithing 10% to the church, it would appear that Romney just admitted his is screwing over his own church.

  42. Chichikovovich

    and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, the number goes well above 20 percent

    "Now in fact, we don't have a team of accountants or anything like that, we're just ordinary folks like you." he continued "But we did ask a friend to punch some numbers into his calculator. Do you realize that *my contributions* amounted to over 57.8% of all the money spent smearing gay people and preventing them from marrying?"

  43. savethispatient

    If a married couple earns $46,000 in 2012, their effective tax rate will be 13.11%. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

    1. orygoon

      You too, huh? that's not far from where our returns hover, most years.

      And we pay state income taxes and federal gasoline taxes and the SS withholding on my p/t job. (No sales tax in gooneyland.)

  44. plinthic

    "So you see, contributing to charity is just the same as paying taxes, because it's money down the toilet. "

    Do you ever wonder why people hate you, Mittens?

    1. ph7

      The 1% vigorously nod their heads in approval, however. You don't get to the top by giving it all away!

  45. ph7

    Mitt views human charity as a form of tax on his enormous wealth? He's an even bigger douchbag than I thought.

  46. proudgrampa

    So, do you realize how much this story parallels the story of Joseph Smith and the "golden plates?"

    After Smith supposedly translated the plates into what would become the Mormon bible, he "returned" them to Moroni and they were never seen again.

    Mitt is just using that lie as the basis of his own: maybe we'll find the tax returns buried in a hill near Palmyra, NY.

  47. Nesnora

    That article was fucking insane. Fuck you, WSJ. Seriously. This takes "nothing of the table" (that was the actual typo in the article too). What was his TAXABLE INCOME REPORTED for that 13%? Fucking cunts. Also— we take his word for this? Nope. He's a proven liar, this is ridiculous.

    1. montreal_bruin

      That is the key to his weasel words. He's deferred, tax-exempted and expatriated his taxable income down to near nothing, and paid "at least 13%" of that each year. The big embarrassment will be his taxable income.

  48. Guppy

    “and if you add in addition the amount that goes to charity, why the number gets well above 20 percent.”

    Pouring money into Yes on 8 isn't charity, it's speech. Get it right!

  49. ph7

    13% tax rate on $1.57 of taxable income, after deducting that $57M loss arising from the Cayman – Boogie Trot – Vader swap.

    1. ph7

      Not like that lyin' Kenyan, who went back in a time machine and posted birth announcements in the Hawaiian newspapers on the week of his birth. Him, he's gotta show the papers. All the papers.

  50. Tundra Grifter

    Both Mr. and Mrs. (r)Money have repeatedly said they don't want to release anything other than two years' Federal income tax returns, because to do so will just give the Democrats "more ammunition."

    That is just flat out saying "We have something to hide."

    1. NellCote71

      I loved seeing her head explode during the interview yesterday. Seriously, I thought she was going to have an aneurysm. Can we still say "aneurysm?"

  51. BlueStateLibel

    Notices he just says, "I've paid 13%." That could be 13% of anything – property taxes, sales tax, etc.

  52. pdiddycornchips

    So RMoney has documents that no one else can see. Okay. He then translates these documents and now he intends to lead this faithful nation as god intended? Does this sound familiar? Not sure where but I'm sure I've heard a similar story.

  53. PubOption

    What is Mitt doing with his charitable contributions? It sounds like he is deducting them from his gross income, (Is that gross in the sense of obscene?), before tax, and then deducting them from the tax owing, as well. If I tried that I would be in jail, as would any accountant involved.

  54. Mittens Howell, III

    Thank you Mr Romney, that clears things up marvelously!

    Um …

    Follow-up question Mr Romney, was that 13% of the money you left in the U.S. or does that also include the money spread across all those other countries?

    Follow-up question Mr Romney, when you say 10% donated to charity do you mean 'charity' as in Mormon fund to discriminate against Gay people?

    Follow-up question Mr Romney, if that 10% did go to the Mormon church, was that 10% of your gross or net income (I know, aaawkwaaard!)?

    Follow-up question Mr Romney, was Rafalca a one-off $77, 000 deduction or do you get $77, 000 each year for that?

    Follow-up question Mr Romney, so did you take the amnesty in 2009 for your Swiss Bank account in order to avoid possible criminal prosecution?

    Follow-up question Mr Romney, do you think your Dad was a pussy for releasing twelve years of tax returns when he ran for President?

    Follow-up question Mr Romney, can I pay 13% income tax on my income, please?

    Follow-up question Mr Romney, when are you going to fuck off?

  55. James Michael Curley

    If this twit was 'self employed' his tax rate for SSA – HI (Medicare) is 2.90%. Subtract that from his alleged 13% and you have a taxable rate of 10.1%.

    Also, 2.90% of the alleged $21 million he earned in 2010, by his return, is $609,000.

  56. Pat_Pending

    He would have SO had his perfectly coiffed head on the block in the French Revolution. Knit on, Madam DeFarge…

  57. Eve8Apples

    This is that special millionaire/billionaire math where you channel most of your income and assets into trusts, LLCs, overseas accounts and shelters, and tax free investments. You then deduct everything allowed by the IRS. When the millionaire/billionaire math is complete, you realize you made $1.00 so you stick 13 pennies in an envelope and mail it to the IRS claiming you paid a 13% tax.

  58. Incitefully_Joe

    I could swear there's some sort of joke here about a famous Mormon who had documents that only he could read and how everyone really just had to take his word for it about what they said, but for the life of me, I can't think of one.

  59. BornInATrailer

    I think a gazillionaire that is running for president, who refuses to release more than 1 (maybe eventually 2!) years of returns, but then goes back to check them to let you know it was "never less than 13% tax" perfectly captures the feeling behind the phrase "That's mighty white of you."

  60. lochnessmonster

    So he's trying to say he paid more than 13% after he deducted for "charitable contributions"??? What?

  61. 8bitrocket

    I'n now tax accountant, but I believe "effective" tax rate means the amount of money you paid in tax AFTER all the deductions are taken, "charity" being one of those deductions. Adding those two numbers together doesn't equal anything useful except the conclusion that Romney doesn't even know what is in his tax returns (he just signed them, like those Bain docs), and that scares him more than the idea of not releasing them.

  62. Pap Finn

    Christ, doesn’t he, or anyone around him, understand that the more he insists on the uprightness of his tax history while pissily withholding the evidence to support the claim, the more hilariously mendacious he looks? Who the hell is advising him? It's fucking amateur hour.

    1. bikerlaureate

      By keeping the rubes all a-froth over the taxes, there's less attention paid to Rmoney's pathological robo-lying.

  63. Naked_Bunny

    Well, hell, if we get to add in non-tax payments when talking about our tax rates, then I want to include my rent and grocery bills. That puts my effective tax rate at, I dunno, 60% or something. No, you can't see my receipts.

  64. NYNYNYjr

    If you deduct the amount for charity… ha ha…. Romney Foundation for Children to Learn About Taking Care of Horses. Might as well do it at our stables. Manuel, show these kids what to do.

  65. mosjef

    He sounds like an ad for a strip mall tax joint. Bring your 1040 to H&R Blockhead, where you'll never pay less than 13%! Unless you're caught.

  66. VinnieSaltine

    "The fascination with the amount of taxes I paid, I find, to be very small-minded….but I did go back and look at my taxes."

    Mitt Romney admitting that he is small-minded.

  67. valmach

    Broken .. is not the word i would use to describe disenfranchisement of 25 million African Americans.. 400 Years of Slavery and 150 years of Jim Crowe , fighting and dying for this country and this is how their loyalty is repaid.. ? Tell the African American and Latino Soldiers who are dying in Afghanistan that their parents cannot vote – because white America is too busy taking it away from them.. Sick Twisted Racism.. America is F… d!

  68. Troglodeity

    What he didn't mention is that after all his deductions, his net annual income he paid 13% on averaged, oh, about sixty thousand bucks.

    Prove me wrong, Mittbot!

  69. ttommyunger

    "I pay big money in taxes and by the way, I'm much Holier Than Thou in the fucking bargain, so suck on that, you people!

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