beach blanket bingo also too

We Might Let Some Republicans Into Our Tampa Wonkette Drinky Thing, But Only If They Are Shirtless

(Disclaimer: Party not actually at the beach)HELLO FLORIDA. You have been so patient, waiting for the deets on our Republican National Convention Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup in Tampa! Will there be beer, and fried things, and ladies in skimpy tops? Yes, yes, and it could happen! Will there be Republicans, and media ‘lites, and you, the brave and loyal Wonker? Most certainly, but only if the Republicans are hot.

We shall meet on Tuesday, Aug. 28, at MacDinton’s, an Irish pub with many choices of fried things and beer, at like six or seven.

MacDinton’s,
405 South Howard Avenue
Tampa, Florida 33606
(813)251-8999

Don’t forget to pack your extra liver!

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • freakishlywrong

    Republicans? Wonkateers? Irish Pubs? Donnybrooks, bitches!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Eh. Never met a Republican that could throw a decent punch.

      They never get the nerve up until they've had waay too much to drink; then they pretty much fall over on their own.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Are you going, freakish. What's the rumpus.

      • freakishlywrong

        I"m going to try, Mumblety, but it's a school night and lucky me, I have a jawb, which prevents fun, weekday events such as these. I'm also about 40 miles away. I hope I can get there!

        • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

          *sigh.* For a sec, pretend LIZ PHAIR IS ATTENDING ZOMG and watch the wonkies come out of the woodwork, driving great lengths to see her~
          ;) for the longest time I'd thought you were a guy. I believe that was intended, too! Well done.

  • LastGasp

    Love how that guy with the green wristband looks like he's giving a "Heil Hitler" salute.

    • anniegetyerfun

      It's the other guy that just broke my douche-ometer.

      • Preferred Customer

        Isn't that Ryan Lochte?

        • horsedreamer_1

          Isn't he Jewish?

          (Making the two most prominent Jew-letes people named Ryan.)

    • LastGasp

      Ditto for the woman with the red, blue, yellow, and orange wristbands.
      Is this how Aryans have a beach party?

  • Baconzgood

    Don't forget your concealed weapons.

    • JustPixelz

      White sunglasses in the front brought hers.

    • BarackMyWorld

      So…pants.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Government issued photo ID required.

  • JustPixelz

    That photo is EXACTLY how I imagine a Wonkette drinky thing. Amirite?

    • prommie

      I'd fit right in, fer shur!

      • FakaktaSouth

        Now that I know it's a bikini thing, I am going to this one also.

  • Baconzgood

    Tits or GTFO!

    • SexySmurf

      The good news is there will be tits.

      The bad news is they'll be on Newt Gingrich.

    • PubOption

      Sounds like the female republicans will need to be shirtless as well, so you might be lucky. Alternatively Phyllis Schlafly could be invited.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Steve King's moobs. Do not want.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Wonder if McDreamy Paul Ryand (P90X) will show up?

    • BerkeleyBear

      Nah, he and Aaron Schock will be off comparing ab routines and accessorizing. Not that there's anything gay – I mean wrong – with that.

      • vtxmcrider

        The rest of the time Aaron Schock will be on his knees at some glory hole.

    • Generation[redacted]

      I thought I saw him at the store today, but it was just Matt Damon.

  • ChessieNefercat

    If you read it too quickly, Tampa Wonkette morphs into Tamponette. They don't make "juniors" any more?

  • lunchbox360

    The lady in the blue bikini is being choked. And by the look on her face, she LOVES it.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Wonkette party during the Republican Convention? What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

    • freakishlywrong

      Republicans.

      • UW8316154

        "When Republicans Go Wrong…" ==> new cable show

  • Lascauxcaveman

    NO FAT CHICKS.

  • Extemporanus

    With any luck, this could very well be the event that finally finishes off fucking Floriduh once and for all.

    TRAMPA or BUST!

  • Baconzgood

    It scares me that those kids will be in charge of my SSI in 15 years.

  • BarackMyWorld

    You know who else had a political meeting in a bar during an international depression?

    • YouBetcha

      Hitler?

      Oh, wait, sorry. Too soon.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Tyler Durden?

    • valgal2342

      John Boehner?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Jay Farrar?

  • Oblios_Cap

    I'll stay in Tallahassee that week. Thanks, anyway.

  • Troglodeity

    Ann Coulter in a skimpy top. *shiver*

    • Baconzgood

      Jesus fucking Christ man. I'm fucking eating tacos here!

      • BornInATrailer

        Eating taco is one thing you don't have to worry about with MAnn Coulter.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I am having a tuna fish sandwich.

  • Trannysurprise

    I hear there's a new drinking game there called Stand Your Ground.

    Apparently you throw a handful of skittles as your douchy friends faces and if they catch one they are rewarded with a "shooter" of their choice. Sounds fun.

  • http://www.proofnpudding.com muthalovin

    We are all Tampans for Wonkette.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I see what you did there

  • gullywompr

    Raise an IPA to Billmatic while you're there!

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      If Billmatic is deserving of a raised IPA because he is, what, Floridian himself? then he is deserving of said IPA getting first raised, then dunked over his HEAD if the mood is right~

      • Billmatic

        no, it's because i make fun of them

        i am actually from texas. so uh. nevermind, that's not really better.

    • BornInATrailer

      <starts shit>
      Why do you want to raise a crappy beer to something?
      </starts shit>

      • gullywompr

        This will not end well.

    • prommie

      I'm so over being over being anti-anti-hops.

  • SorosBot

    Shirtless Republican? Ew, that sounds like a recipe for lots of flabby pasty man-boobs.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The kind wearing baggy shirts over their concealed guns are scarier. Exposure to GOP-moobs is today's price of security.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Rebecca, you need to post this on Tampa's Craigslist. You get a much better class of person that way.

    Wait, what?

    • HistoriCat

      It's personal and we don't want to talk about it.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I'll think about y'all when I'm at the local saloon that day.

  • Baconzgood

    Stand your ground Rebecca.

  • widestanceromance

    I look at that photo and once again, am ashamed to be a white man.

    When does the mid-atlantic get its thingy on?

  • Estproph

    Now, the ride of Paul Revere
    Set the nation on its ear,
    And the shot at Lexington heard 'round the world,
    When the British fired in the early dawn
    The War of Independence had begun,
    The die was cast, the rebel flag unfurled.

    And on to Concord marched the foe
    To seize the arsenal there you know,
    Waking folks searching all around
    Till our militia stopped them in their tracks,
    At the old North Bridge we turned them back
    And chased those Redcoats back to Boston town.

    And the shot heard 'round the world
    Was the start of the Revolution.
    The Minute Men were ready, on the move.
    Take your powder, and take your gun.
    Report to General Washington.
    Hurry men, there's not an hour to lose!

    Now, at famous Bunker Hill,
    Even though we lost, it was quite a thrill,
    The rebel Colonel Prescott proved he was wise;
    Outnumbered and low on ammunition
    As the British stormed his position
    He said, "Hold your fire till you see the whites of their eyes!"

    Though the next few years were rough,
    General Washington's men proved they were tough,
    Those hungry, ragged boys would not be beat.
    One night they crossed the Delaware,
    Surprised the Hessians in their lair,
    And at Valley Forge they just bundled up their feet!

    And the shot heard 'round the world
    Was the start of the Revolution.
    The Minute Men were ready, on the move.
    Take your blanket, and take your son.
    Report to General Washington.
    We've got our rights and now it's time to prove.

    Well, they showed such determination
    That they won the admiration
    Of countries across the sea like France and Spain,
    Who loaned the colonies ships and guns
    And put the British on the run
    And the Continental Army on its feet again.

    And though they lost some battles too,
    The Americans swore they'd see it through,
    Their raiding parties kept up, hit and run.
    At Yorktown the British could not retreat,
    Bottled up by Washington and the French Fleet,
    Cornwallis surrendered and finally we had won!

    The winner!

    Hurray!

    From the shot heard 'round the world
    To the end of the Revolution
    The continental rabble took the day
    And the father of our country
    Beat the British there at Yorktown
    And brought freedom to you and me and the U.S.A.!

    God bless America, Let Freedom Ring!

  • OneYieldRegular

    You'll be able to identify the Republicans easily. They'll be lecturing you on fiscal responsibility while they're drinking all the free Wonkette beer.

    • widestanceromance

      And personal responsibility while backing over the drunks who fell behind their Land Rover.

    • UW8316154

      And spewing virulent anti-gay diatribes while hooking up on Craiglist.

  • MinAgain

    Who's setting up the free birth control and abortions booth?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Will you need quality assurance analysts at this booth?

    • valgal2342

      I'll be putting up the condom water balloon booth.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    "Irish Pub"?? What do they know about drinking and carrying on?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Don't wear orange.

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        So… No Boehner? Sounds like good policy, Irish.

      • horsedreamer_1

        What does it say I am Irish & Catholic & my favourite colour is orange?

      • mayor_quimby

        It makes some people super stabby and bomby.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      If they serve any stout that's a notch above Guinness.. then I think FakaktaSouth should be on hand: She who stated that stout beer held all the charm for her palate of a beverage steeped w/ a ciggie stub dropped in it.**

      **which I can testify to having done; consumed such, that is; probably was a ciggie of my own too.

      • BerkeleyBear

        See, someone needs to get her a good Irish or Scottish oatmeal stout – creamy head and smooth finish, and none of that fake peaty flavor. Or a double chocolate stout, which I have it on good authority makes a hell of a beer float when you add a little vanilla ice cream.

  • fartknocker

    Will Megadeath be playing?

    When the hell is Wonkette going to come to Texas? We're very friendly and we have some beautiful women. Plus the Fartknocker will buy the 1st and last round.

  • neiltheblaze

    Erin go Brah, ya'll!

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      Erin goes bra-less.

  • YouBetcha

    I'd hit that. Frat boys are awesome, but with little stamina. Which is why you need like three of them at once.

    • BornInATrailer

      Do you buy crab shampoo at Costco (during Amurikan only hours, of course)?

      • YouBetcha

        I'm pretty sure The Clap kills the crabs. It's a delicate balance down there.

        • BornInATrailer

          It's like a musky terrarium!

  • SoBeach

    Figures. I've been whining about a Florida shindig and I can't make it that night.

  • jvvjen

    That photo actually looks exactly like the usual crowd at MacDinton’s. Should be a fun evening! Count this Tampan in!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Y'all have fun in The Big Guava — and don't fuck any Republicans — you never know where those things have been.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      … and don't fuck any Republicans — you never know where those things have been.

      FIFY

  • Naked_Bunny

    I'd love to go, except I'm in Iowa, and I kinda hate you all. (But in a good way.)

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      We hate you too!

      • Naked_Bunny

        Yay!

        • Jus_Wonderin

          Bunny, Lionel should have softened his comment with "…but we love the Iowa Corn Porn".

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Kern'd for her pleasure?

    • finallyhappy

      Have a giant cinnamon bun at the Machine Shed instead or some Maytag blue cheese- that's it for my knowledge of Iowa food

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Food and alcohol? It is your own fault if a shirtless Rush Limbaugh shows up.

    • emmelemm

      No one said Oxycontin and Dominican rent boys. Whatchu talkin about?

      • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        I'm sure Rush will have plenty of both when he shows up.

  • Guppy

    USFB!

    Edit: oshi, this is scheduled for a Tuesday night!

  • MissTaken

    Beware of the bathroom or you may peek at Trump's 'big surprise'

    • SorosBot

      The surprise is that it's not big at all; just two or three inches.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Oh darn, I went another direction with my comment. You are right though.

      • Naked_Bunny

        When they talk about Trump being a huge dick, that's not what they mean.

      • vtxmcrider

        And you'd have a lot of trouble even finding that.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      The good news though, is that the Carpathia is only a few hours away.

  • prommie

    I'm much more afraid of Scientologists than Republicans.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Damn, my extra liver is in the shop.

    • widestanceromance

      I just gave my only one to a nice-seeming chap who came to the door, and finally convinced me with a song about the ever-expanding universe. Ugh, the blood is everywhere now.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I know what you mean. When I tracked down the "donor" for my extra liver no amount of Brawny could clean it up. And, I found it difficult to find the amounts of bagged ice I needed to cool the "donor" down.

  • no_gravity

    Are fuckin' noobs allowed?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I am sure there is no P-ness limit.

      • no_gravity

        Well good on the no pee limit because if I drink I will be peeing.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      It should be Is fuckin' noobs allowed…

      Edit:.Oh, wait, I see what you mean

    • Naked_Bunny

      Yes, but their clothes aren't.

    • HistoriCat

      Just remember the rule – lowest p-score present is the catcher.

    • vtxmcrider

      Noobs to Wonkette or noobs to the buttsecks? There is a very slight overlap in those two groups.

  • Beowoof

    Tampa in August, can't think of a better place not to be.

    • no_gravity

      It's only about 90 down here, but it's a wet heat.

  • SoBeach

    If you want to know what it's like down here right now, think Rafalca's ass crack.

  • BerkeleyBear

    Somewhat OT – Harry Harrison died yesterday. Couple that with losing Ray Bradbury recently, and it's been a bad stretch for science fiction fans.
    So I propose a toast (in absentia) to Stainless Steel Rat's creator. May our politicians be as moral and discriminating as the Rat (fat chance).

    • proudgrampa

      Wow. I had not heard about Harry. Met him once, he was quite an intellect. My favorite story of his was "Make Room!" the basis for Soylent Green.

      Robert Heinlein, Ray Bradbury, and now Harry Harrison. All of my heroes are gone. A toast to all of them.

      "Soylent Green is people!"

      • finallyhappy

        I have a t-shirt that says Soy Latte is People(I can't explain it)

        • emmelemm

          WHERE DID YOU GET IT?

          Because I drink soy lattes.

          • finallyhappy

            Some art student selling it out of a backpack in Atlanta during Dragon Con(and yes, I am old and yes, I started going to Dragon Con when I was 55)

          • emmelemm

            I haz a sad.

    • bobbert

      Deathworld, indeed.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    If you're going to be in Tampa in August around a bunch of Republicans, I have only one piece of advice: hide your wallet.

  • DahBoner

    Who goes to Fluraduh in the summer?

    Cheapskates and Republicans…

  • MadBrahms

    The picture immediately made me think "Tobias Funke presents: Republicans with Low Self-Esteem".

    Which is most of them, probably.

  • emariethorn

    I live a few blocks away – I'll be there.

  • GorzoTheMighty

    This will not end well. I predict police in riot gear, plumes of tear gas and pepper spray. Chaos my friends!. Then there is the Republican convention to worry about.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Are we winning the War on the Clitoratti?

  • proudgrampa

    I hope all of you young whippersnappers have a good time. I will be with you in spirit while consuming my Sapphire martinis in the comfort of my home bar.

    Cheers!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I live in Florida, if you can call this living, and if you can call this Florida, which is dubious, since Pensacola belongs in Florida about as much as Joe Lieberman belongs in the Democratic caucus.

    Anyway, it would take me about eight hours to drive to Tampa, versus five to Atlanta, which is also too far.

    How about I quickly plan a convention for the Bunga-Bunga Party during Labor Day weekend, and have a drinky-drinky event at the Florabama Lounge, famous for its interstate mullet-toss events?

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    OT-ish, but for the NY drinky thing, I've confirmed that the Drinking Liberally organizers have opened an invitation for us to take over Rudy's for that night, and with the back patio reopened, there's actually enough space to do so. It might just be a ploy of Justin's to rope me into hosting DL for that night, but I really do hope this will coalesce as a possibility!

    They're also apparently having RNC/DNC watch events all week, for those of us too cheap and/or lazy and/or self-preserving to go to Tampa in August.

    • commiegirl99

      Joe, where do they have it?

      • foxypuppet

        http://livingliberally.org/drinking/chapters/NY/n

        I'm guessing this is the same Rudy's?

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

        Yup, that's the one. Rudy's is on 9th ave between 44th and 45, which puts it conveniently close to 42nd/Times Square, which has trains to basically everywhere in the city. And pretty good prices on drinks, if one is a Poor like me.

        Also, there are free hot dogs, too.

  • finallyhappy

    I hope I do not miss an announcement of where the Atlanta thing will be- I will be in Atlanta but do not know much about Atlanta(well, the Flying Biscuit and the Aquarium-but I don't think they have a bar either place).

    • ttommyunger

      I will provide free cab service to the shindig, but I am an old, so won't stay much past 9 or 10 so you will have to fend for yourself if you plan to party on (404 372 9907). In other words, you have a friend in Atlanta.

      • finallyhappy

        I won't stay late- I'm oldish and easily tired. I appreciate the offer. I will be somewhere in midtown or downtown(I get those areas confused) but MARTA accessible. I am putting your number in my newfangled Iphone!

        • ttommyunger

          Luv my iphone.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    what's the deal with the wristbands?

  • VinnyThePooh

    I'm certainly glad the RNC is having their brainless orgy on the Gulf toilet bowl side of the state. I just moved to southern Florida from Upstate New York and getting riled by Teabaggers won't help my adjustment.

  • Billmatic

    Austin, Texas. Black Sheep. Just sayin.

  • funky49

    Sweet!

    I'll be there anyway because it is also the pre-season party for my kickball league. I'll be wearing my awesome pink tshirt from last season. After you're drunk, try the Irish eggrolls. They have the grease that cures what ails you.

  • ttommyunger

    I might just ride down for the Helluvit. I have grandkids there and have done the 500 mile turnaround from Atlanta more than once. OT: don't you know Holder and Napalitano are smacking their lips over the two year sentence Pussy Riot got for singing a fucking song?