BEACH BLANKET BINGO ALSO TOO  1:05 pm August 16, 2012

We Might Let Some Republicans Into Our Tampa Wonkette Drinky Thing, But Only If They Are Shirtless

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

(Disclaimer: Party not actually at the beach)HELLO FLORIDA. You have been so patient, waiting for the deets on our Republican National Convention Wonkette Drinky Thing and Meetup in Tampa! Will there be beer, and fried things, and ladies in skimpy tops? Yes, yes, and it could happen! Will there be Republicans, and media ‘lites, and you, the brave and loyal Wonker? Most certainly, but only if the Republicans are hot.

We shall meet on Tuesday, Aug. 28, at MacDinton’s, an Irish pub with many choices of fried things and beer, at like six or seven.

MacDinton’s,
405 South Howard Avenue
Tampa, Florida 33606
(813)251-8999

Don’t forget to pack your extra liver!

 
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{ 142 comments }

freakishlywrong August 16, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Republicans? Wonkateers? Irish Pubs? Donnybrooks, bitches!

Lascauxcaveman August 16, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Eh. Never met a Republican that could throw a decent punch.

They never get the nerve up until they've had waay too much to drink; then they pretty much fall over on their own.

Mumbletypeg August 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Are you going, freakish. What's the rumpus.

freakishlywrong August 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I"m going to try, Mumblety, but it's a school night and lucky me, I have a jawb, which prevents fun, weekday events such as these. I'm also about 40 miles away. I hope I can get there!

Mumbletypeg August 16, 2012 at 2:10 pm

*sigh.* For a sec, pretend LIZ PHAIR IS ATTENDING ZOMG and watch the wonkies come out of the woodwork, driving great lengths to see her~
;) for the longest time I'd thought you were a guy. I believe that was intended, too! Well done.

LastGasp August 16, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Love how that guy with the green wristband looks like he's giving a "Heil Hitler" salute.

anniegetyerfun August 16, 2012 at 1:10 pm

It's the other guy that just broke my douche-ometer.

Preferred Customer August 16, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Isn't that Ryan Lochte?

horsedreamer_1 August 16, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Isn't he Jewish?

(Making the two most prominent Jew-letes people named Ryan.)

LastGasp August 16, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Ditto for the woman with the red, blue, yellow, and orange wristbands.
Is this how Aryans have a beach party?

Baconzgood August 16, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Don't forget your concealed weapons.

JustPixelz August 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm

White sunglasses in the front brought hers.

BarackMyWorld August 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm

So…pants.

Mittens Howell, III August 16, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Government issued photo ID required.

JustPixelz August 16, 2012 at 1:10 pm

That photo is EXACTLY how I imagine a Wonkette drinky thing. Amirite?

prommie August 16, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I'd fit right in, fer shur!

FakaktaSouth August 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Now that I know it's a bikini thing, I am going to this one also.

Baconzgood August 16, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Tits or GTFO!

SexySmurf August 16, 2012 at 1:13 pm

The good news is there will be tits.

The bad news is they'll be on Newt Gingrich.

PubOption August 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Sounds like the female republicans will need to be shirtless as well, so you might be lucky. Alternatively Phyllis Schlafly could be invited.

BerkeleyBear August 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Steve King's moobs. Do not want.

NorthStarSpanx August 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Wonder if McDreamy Paul Ryand (P90X) will show up?

BerkeleyBear August 16, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Nah, he and Aaron Schock will be off comparing ab routines and accessorizing. Not that there's anything gay – I mean wrong – with that.

vtxmcrider August 16, 2012 at 8:34 pm

The rest of the time Aaron Schock will be on his knees at some glory hole.

Generation[redacted] August 16, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I thought I saw him at the store today, but it was just Matt Damon.

ChessieNefercat August 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm

If you read it too quickly, Tampa Wonkette morphs into Tamponette. They don't make "juniors" any more?

lunchbox360 August 16, 2012 at 1:12 pm

The lady in the blue bikini is being choked. And by the look on her face, she LOVES it.

BarackMyWorld August 16, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Wonkette party during the Republican Convention? What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

freakishlywrong August 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Republicans.

UW8316154 August 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

"When Republicans Go Wrong…" ==> new cable show

Lascauxcaveman August 16, 2012 at 1:13 pm

NO FAT CHICKS.

Extemporanus August 16, 2012 at 1:14 pm

With any luck, this could very well be the event that finally finishes off fucking Floriduh once and for all.

TRAMPA or BUST!

Baconzgood August 16, 2012 at 1:14 pm

It scares me that those kids will be in charge of my SSI in 15 years.

BarackMyWorld August 16, 2012 at 1:14 pm

You know who else had a political meeting in a bar during an international depression?

YouBetcha August 16, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Hitler?

Oh, wait, sorry. Too soon.

Generation[redacted] August 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Tyler Durden?

valgal2342 August 16, 2012 at 3:54 pm

John Boehner?

horsedreamer_1 August 16, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Jay Farrar?

Oblios_Cap August 16, 2012 at 1:14 pm

I'll stay in Tallahassee that week. Thanks, anyway.

Troglodeity August 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Ann Coulter in a skimpy top. *shiver*

Baconzgood August 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Jesus fucking Christ man. I'm fucking eating tacos here!

BornInATrailer August 16, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Eating taco is one thing you don't have to worry about with MAnn Coulter.

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I am having a tuna fish sandwich.

Trannysurprise August 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I hear there's a new drinking game there called Stand Your Ground.

Apparently you throw a handful of skittles as your douchy friends faces and if they catch one they are rewarded with a "shooter" of their choice. Sounds fun.

muthalovin August 16, 2012 at 1:16 pm

We are all Tampans for Wonkette.

Oblios_Cap August 16, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I see what you did there

gullywompr August 16, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Raise an IPA to Billmatic while you're there!

Mumbletypeg August 16, 2012 at 1:24 pm

If Billmatic is deserving of a raised IPA because he is, what, Floridian himself? then he is deserving of said IPA getting first raised, then dunked over his HEAD if the mood is right~

Billmatic August 16, 2012 at 8:46 pm

no, it's because i make fun of them

i am actually from texas. so uh. nevermind, that's not really better.

BornInATrailer August 16, 2012 at 1:38 pm

<starts shit>
Why do you want to raise a crappy beer to something?
</starts shit>

gullywompr August 16, 2012 at 3:28 pm

This will not end well.

prommie August 16, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I'm so over being over being anti-anti-hops.

SorosBot August 16, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Shirtless Republican? Ew, that sounds like a recipe for lots of flabby pasty man-boobs.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 16, 2012 at 2:36 pm

The kind wearing baggy shirts over their concealed guns are scarier. Exposure to GOP-moobs is today's price of security.

elviouslyqueer August 16, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Rebecca, you need to post this on Tampa's Craigslist. You get a much better class of person that way.

Wait, what?

HistoriCat August 16, 2012 at 3:24 pm

It's personal and we don't want to talk about it.

Oblios_Cap August 16, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I'll think about y'all when I'm at the local saloon that day.

Baconzgood August 16, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Stand your ground Rebecca.

widestanceromance August 16, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I look at that photo and once again, am ashamed to be a white man.

When does the mid-atlantic get its thingy on?

Estproph August 16, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Now, the ride of Paul Revere
Set the nation on its ear,
And the shot at Lexington heard 'round the world,
When the British fired in the early dawn
The War of Independence had begun,
The die was cast, the rebel flag unfurled.

And on to Concord marched the foe
To seize the arsenal there you know,
Waking folks searching all around
Till our militia stopped them in their tracks,
At the old North Bridge we turned them back
And chased those Redcoats back to Boston town.

And the shot heard 'round the world
Was the start of the Revolution.
The Minute Men were ready, on the move.
Take your powder, and take your gun.
Report to General Washington.
Hurry men, there's not an hour to lose!

Now, at famous Bunker Hill,
Even though we lost, it was quite a thrill,
The rebel Colonel Prescott proved he was wise;
Outnumbered and low on ammunition
As the British stormed his position
He said, "Hold your fire till you see the whites of their eyes!"

Though the next few years were rough,
General Washington's men proved they were tough,
Those hungry, ragged boys would not be beat.
One night they crossed the Delaware,
Surprised the Hessians in their lair,
And at Valley Forge they just bundled up their feet!

And the shot heard 'round the world
Was the start of the Revolution.
The Minute Men were ready, on the move.
Take your blanket, and take your son.
Report to General Washington.
We've got our rights and now it's time to prove.

Well, they showed such determination
That they won the admiration
Of countries across the sea like France and Spain,
Who loaned the colonies ships and guns
And put the British on the run
And the Continental Army on its feet again.

And though they lost some battles too,
The Americans swore they'd see it through,
Their raiding parties kept up, hit and run.
At Yorktown the British could not retreat,
Bottled up by Washington and the French Fleet,
Cornwallis surrendered and finally we had won!

The winner!

Hurray!

From the shot heard 'round the world
To the end of the Revolution
The continental rabble took the day
And the father of our country
Beat the British there at Yorktown
And brought freedom to you and me and the U.S.A.!

God bless America, Let Freedom Ring!

OneYieldRegular August 16, 2012 at 1:22 pm

You'll be able to identify the Republicans easily. They'll be lecturing you on fiscal responsibility while they're drinking all the free Wonkette beer.

widestanceromance August 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

And personal responsibility while backing over the drunks who fell behind their Land Rover.

UW8316154 August 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm

And spewing virulent anti-gay diatribes while hooking up on Craiglist.

MinAgain August 16, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Who's setting up the free birth control and abortions booth?

BoatOfVelociraptors August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Will you need quality assurance analysts at this booth?

valgal2342 August 16, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I'll be putting up the condom water balloon booth.

Designer_Rants August 16, 2012 at 1:24 pm

"Irish Pub"?? What do they know about drinking and carrying on?

Oblios_Cap August 16, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Don't wear orange.

Designer_Rants August 16, 2012 at 1:29 pm

So… No Boehner? Sounds like good policy, Irish.

horsedreamer_1 August 16, 2012 at 7:36 pm

What does it say I am Irish & Catholic & my favourite colour is orange?

mayor_quimby August 16, 2012 at 11:11 pm

It makes some people super stabby and bomby.

Mumbletypeg August 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

If they serve any stout that's a notch above Guinness.. then I think FakaktaSouth should be on hand: She who stated that stout beer held all the charm for her palate of a beverage steeped w/ a ciggie stub dropped in it.**

**which I can testify to having done; consumed such, that is; probably was a ciggie of my own too.

BerkeleyBear August 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

See, someone needs to get her a good Irish or Scottish oatmeal stout – creamy head and smooth finish, and none of that fake peaty flavor. Or a double chocolate stout, which I have it on good authority makes a hell of a beer float when you add a little vanilla ice cream.

fartknocker August 16, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Will Megadeath be playing?

When the hell is Wonkette going to come to Texas? We're very friendly and we have some beautiful women. Plus the Fartknocker will buy the 1st and last round.

neiltheblaze August 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Erin go Brah, ya'll!

SigDeFlyinMonky August 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Erin goes bra-less.

YouBetcha August 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I'd hit that. Frat boys are awesome, but with little stamina. Which is why you need like three of them at once.

BornInATrailer August 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Do you buy crab shampoo at Costco (during Amurikan only hours, of course)?

YouBetcha August 16, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I'm pretty sure The Clap kills the crabs. It's a delicate balance down there.

BornInATrailer August 17, 2012 at 9:44 am

It's like a musky terrarium!

SoBeach August 16, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Figures. I've been whining about a Florida shindig and I can't make it that night.

jvvjen August 16, 2012 at 1:37 pm

That photo actually looks exactly like the usual crowd at MacDinton’s. Should be a fun evening! Count this Tampan in!

SayItWithWookies August 16, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Y'all have fun in The Big Guava — and don't fuck any Republicans — you never know where those things have been.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 16, 2012 at 2:37 pm

… and don't fuck any Republicans — you never know where those things have been.

FIFY

Naked_Bunny August 16, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I'd love to go, except I'm in Iowa, and I kinda hate you all. (But in a good way.)

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm

We hate you too!

Naked_Bunny August 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Yay!

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Bunny, Lionel should have softened his comment with "…but we love the Iowa Corn Porn".

BoatOfVelociraptors August 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Kern'd for her pleasure?

finallyhappy August 16, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Have a giant cinnamon bun at the Machine Shed instead or some Maytag blue cheese- that's it for my knowledge of Iowa food

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Food and alcohol? It is your own fault if a shirtless Rush Limbaugh shows up.

emmelemm August 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

No one said Oxycontin and Dominican rent boys. Whatchu talkin about?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I'm sure Rush will have plenty of both when he shows up.

Guppy August 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

USFB!

Edit: oshi, this is scheduled for a Tuesday night!

MissTaken August 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Beware of the bathroom or you may peek at Trump's 'big surprise'

SorosBot August 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm

The surprise is that it's not big at all; just two or three inches.

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Oh darn, I went another direction with my comment. You are right though.

Naked_Bunny August 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm

When they talk about Trump being a huge dick, that's not what they mean.

vtxmcrider August 16, 2012 at 8:39 pm

And you'd have a lot of trouble even finding that.

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 1:50 pm

The good news though, is that the Carpathia is only a few hours away.

prommie August 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I'm much more afraid of Scientologists than Republicans.

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Damn, my extra liver is in the shop.

widestanceromance August 16, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I just gave my only one to a nice-seeming chap who came to the door, and finally convinced me with a song about the ever-expanding universe. Ugh, the blood is everywhere now.

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I know what you mean. When I tracked down the "donor" for my extra liver no amount of Brawny could clean it up. And, I found it difficult to find the amounts of bagged ice I needed to cool the "donor" down.

no_gravity August 16, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Are fuckin' noobs allowed?

Jus_Wonderin August 16, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I am sure there is no P-ness limit.

no_gravity August 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Well good on the no pee limit because if I drink I will be peeing.

Blueb4sinrise August 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

It should be Is fuckin' noobs allowed…

Edit:.Oh, wait, I see what you mean

Naked_Bunny August 16, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Yes, but their clothes aren't.

HistoriCat August 16, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Just remember the rule – lowest p-score present is the catcher.

vtxmcrider August 16, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Noobs to Wonkette or noobs to the buttsecks? There is a very slight overlap in those two groups.

Beowoof August 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Tampa in August, can't think of a better place not to be.

no_gravity August 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

It's only about 90 down here, but it's a wet heat.

SoBeach August 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm

If you want to know what it's like down here right now, think Rafalca's ass crack.

BerkeleyBear August 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Somewhat OT – Harry Harrison died yesterday. Couple that with losing Ray Bradbury recently, and it's been a bad stretch for science fiction fans.
So I propose a toast (in absentia) to Stainless Steel Rat's creator. May our politicians be as moral and discriminating as the Rat (fat chance).

proudgrampa August 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Wow. I had not heard about Harry. Met him once, he was quite an intellect. My favorite story of his was "Make Room!" the basis for Soylent Green.

Robert Heinlein, Ray Bradbury, and now Harry Harrison. All of my heroes are gone. A toast to all of them.

"Soylent Green is people!"

finallyhappy August 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I have a t-shirt that says Soy Latte is People(I can't explain it)

emmelemm August 16, 2012 at 5:05 pm

WHERE DID YOU GET IT?

Because I drink soy lattes.

finallyhappy August 16, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Some art student selling it out of a backpack in Atlanta during Dragon Con(and yes, I am old and yes, I started going to Dragon Con when I was 55)

bobbert August 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Deathworld, indeed.

randcoolcatdaddy August 16, 2012 at 2:18 pm

If you're going to be in Tampa in August around a bunch of Republicans, I have only one piece of advice: hide your wallet.

DahBoner August 16, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Who goes to Fluraduh in the summer?

Cheapskates and Republicans…

MadBrahms August 16, 2012 at 2:30 pm

The picture immediately made me think "Tobias Funke presents: Republicans with Low Self-Esteem".

Which is most of them, probably.

emariethorn August 16, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I live a few blocks away – I'll be there.

GorzoTheMighty August 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm

This will not end well. I predict police in riot gear, plumes of tear gas and pepper spray. Chaos my friends!. Then there is the Republican convention to worry about.

BTWBFDIMHO August 16, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Are we winning the War on the Clitoratti?

proudgrampa August 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I hope all of you young whippersnappers have a good time. I will be with you in spirit while consuming my Sapphire martinis in the comfort of my home bar.

Cheers!

Spurning Beer August 16, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I live in Florida, if you can call this living, and if you can call this Florida, which is dubious, since Pensacola belongs in Florida about as much as Joe Lieberman belongs in the Democratic caucus.

Anyway, it would take me about eight hours to drive to Tampa, versus five to Atlanta, which is also too far.

How about I quickly plan a convention for the Bunga-Bunga Party during Labor Day weekend, and have a drinky-drinky event at the Florabama Lounge, famous for its interstate mullet-toss events?

Incitefully_Joe August 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm

OT-ish, but for the NY drinky thing, I've confirmed that the Drinking Liberally organizers have opened an invitation for us to take over Rudy's for that night, and with the back patio reopened, there's actually enough space to do so. It might just be a ploy of Justin's to rope me into hosting DL for that night, but I really do hope this will coalesce as a possibility!

They're also apparently having RNC/DNC watch events all week, for those of us too cheap and/or lazy and/or self-preserving to go to Tampa in August.

commiegirl99 August 16, 2012 at 8:40 pm

Joe, where do they have it?

foxypuppet August 16, 2012 at 10:59 pm

http://livingliberally.org/drinking/chapters/NY/n

I'm guessing this is the same Rudy's?

Incitefully_Joe August 17, 2012 at 12:43 am

Yup, that's the one. Rudy's is on 9th ave between 44th and 45, which puts it conveniently close to 42nd/Times Square, which has trains to basically everywhere in the city. And pretty good prices on drinks, if one is a Poor like me.

Also, there are free hot dogs, too.

finallyhappy August 16, 2012 at 5:06 pm

I hope I do not miss an announcement of where the Atlanta thing will be- I will be in Atlanta but do not know much about Atlanta(well, the Flying Biscuit and the Aquarium-but I don't think they have a bar either place).

ttommyunger August 17, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I will provide free cab service to the shindig, but I am an old, so won't stay much past 9 or 10 so you will have to fend for yourself if you plan to party on (404 372 9907). In other words, you have a friend in Atlanta.

finallyhappy August 17, 2012 at 7:48 pm

I won't stay late- I'm oldish and easily tired. I appreciate the offer. I will be somewhere in midtown or downtown(I get those areas confused) but MARTA accessible. I am putting your number in my newfangled Iphone!

ttommyunger August 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm

Luv my iphone.

BZ1 August 16, 2012 at 5:37 pm

what's the deal with the wristbands?

VinnyThePooh August 16, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I'm certainly glad the RNC is having their brainless orgy on the Gulf toilet bowl side of the state. I just moved to southern Florida from Upstate New York and getting riled by Teabaggers won't help my adjustment.

Billmatic August 16, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Austin, Texas. Black Sheep. Just sayin.

funky49 August 17, 2012 at 10:23 am

Sweet!

I'll be there anyway because it is also the pre-season party for my kickball league. I'll be wearing my awesome pink tshirt from last season. After you're drunk, try the Irish eggrolls. They have the grease that cures what ails you.

ttommyunger August 17, 2012 at 7:38 pm

I might just ride down for the Helluvit. I have grandkids there and have done the 500 mile turnaround from Atlanta more than once. OT: don't you know Holder and Napalitano are smacking their lips over the two year sentence Pussy Riot got for singing a fucking song?

emmelemm August 16, 2012 at 8:12 pm

I haz a sad.

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