Blind Trust

Ann Romney Has No Idea What Is In Those Tax Returns But Assures You People That They Are Legal

Ann Romney, wife of Mitt Romney (R-Money)Oh isn’t this NICE. Ann Romney took time away from her busy schedule of hanging out with Welsh ponies (srsly) to discuss politics with NBC news. And you will never guess what NBC learned, you guys. Ann Romney is not just the owner of a dancing horse! No sirree, she is the granddaughter of a coal miner! And a first generation American! And she has no idea what’s in her husband’s tax returns but she’s 100% confident that they’re legal! Don’t you people feel comforted?

About two hundred miles away from the Greenwich, England, arena where her purebred horse Rafalca competed in the London Olympics, Ann Romney stroked the nose of Magic, a Welsh pony.

“You’re so pretty, Magic,” said Mrs. Romney…

The criticism that plagued the Romneys during the 2008 campaign has continued, particularly in regards to their reported $250 million fortune and the issue of their tax returns.

When pressed by [NBC’s Natalie] Morales, Mrs. Romney stood her ground. “We have been very transparent to what’s legally required of us,” she said. “There’s going to be no more tax releases given.”

Mrs. Romney said if they release any more information, “it will only give them more ammunition.”

In regards to their finances,  she said “there’s nothing we’re hiding.”

“It’s been managed by a blind trust since before Mitt was governor, you know, 2002 forward,” she told Morales.  “And so, you know, I’ll be curious to see what’s in there too.”

Oh we’re still allowed to talk about the fact that Mitt was governor? It hasn’t been added to the list along with “chains” and “dad” and “Medicare”? Because don’t forget, it’s “Mitt’s time” and Ann Romney is done letting “you people” interfere with that.


About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson
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  1. noodlesalad

    Ann Romney is just like most of us, curious to see how much money we have in our checking accounts. Of course, for us, it's to see if we can buy groceries today or if we have to wait until Friday, and for her, it's just to find out how much the last pony escalator cost.

    1. Typodong3

      The last time there was a pony escalator in my house, it was the 70s and my sister was playing with her plastic pony collection on the stairs. But we can dream big…

  2. sbj1964

    Mitts tax returns are nothing more than a bullshit myth.Kept on file by the Mormon church right beside the writings of Joseph Smith.

      1. Typodong3

        No but they are written on golden tablets. Very expensive accountant, and its a bitch to redact them.

  3. Baconzgood

    "We have been very transparent to what’s legally required of us,…There’s going to be no more tax releases given…it will only give them more ammunition…there’s nothing we’re hiding.”

    She's more evasive than Mitt's 1040.

    1. ph7

      In summary:

      1. We have been very transparent
      2. there’s nothing we’re hiding
      3. No, you can't see them.

      1. WhatTheHolyHeck

        2a. If you saw what was in there that we're not hiding, you'd have even more ammunition against us but there's totally nothing in there that would interest you honest.

    2. sullivanst

      "There's nothing we're hiding except for anything that might be damaging to us."

      Yeah, there's no legal requirement to release any tax returns. There's not much legal requirement for any kind of transparency. Ann sure knows horseshit.

    3. chicken_thief

      And says all this while stroking the "nose" of Magic. Lifetime Channel for Women doesn't write shit that corny.

    4. Callyson

      Mrs. Romney said if they release any more information, “it will only give them more ammunition.”

      FFS, she is coming out and admitting that the tax returns contain evidence. If we had a real news media in this country, they would never let that slide…

      1. not that Dewey

        NBC: How will you do it, might I inquire to ask??
        Romney: I will do it with my hair and magic undies!
        NBC: Your hair and magic undies?
        Romney: Hair and magic undies!
        NBC: Magic undies?
        Romney: Magic undies!
        NBC: Magic undies.
        Romney: Yes, magic undies, and I'll give you a sample

    1. OneYieldRegular

      Given how completely out of touch the Romneys seem to be, it also seems to sum up their entire life philosophy.

  4. ph7

    Ann Romney stroked the tip of Magic, her pet name for Mitt's penis.

    “You’re so pretty, Magic,” said Mrs. Romney…

    1. Caelan Aegana

      Anne married Mittens when she was 15, but I somehow get the impression here that's she's regressed back to around age 12. Having a husband named after a kitty-kat probably didn't help.

  5. eggsacklywright

    She acts like the reporter is one of "the help". You people indeed. What an arrogant snot.

    1. Katydid

      I kinda took the "you people" to mean the American public. She thinks we're all the help, and that it's "Mitt's time," and that only he can save the country…talk about Stockholm Syndrome.

        1. Butch_Wagstaff

          Yeah, I always thought she probably meant the media. If so, it a very poor choice of words. But maybe it really was a verbal slip that showed what she really thinks of people who don't have a few hundred million dollars.

  6. Preferred Customer

    I assume "dad" is also a hot button issue with her, given her own father's post-death-bed conversion.

  7. arihaya

    Ann, sweetheart, trust me, you better find and read your husband Tax returns as fast as possible.

    Knowing how cheap Mittens is, he probably had his secret celestial wife's spending expense filed to get him some tax deductions.

    1. Katydid

      Or the sister wives…omg, I've figured it out, Mittens won't release his tax returns because it shows how many women he's married to.

      1. chicken_thief

        Has he denied it? Why won't Mitt come clean on how many womenz he married? LONG FORM MARRIAGES CERTIFICATES OR GTFO, Mitt!!!

  8. Oblios_Cap

    Mrs. Romney said if they release any more information, “it will only give them more ammunition.”

    In regards to their finances, she said “there’s nothing we’re hiding.”

    If there's nothing to hide, just release the damn things and be done with it. Ann's got the GOP logic down pat.

    And no – I wouldn't hit that. No even for a grudge fuck.

    1. chicken_thief

      She's pooped out five little whipper snappers – her JOB! over the years. That Love Canal is prolly as wide as the Mississippi at flood stage. Unless one is John Holmes or Rafalca, I doubt either one of you would know if you were fucking her or not.

  9. FakaktaSouth

    Honestly as bad as I am sure his bullshit blind trust tax info is, I don't need to see anything more. I am thoroughly disgusted quite enough by what these terrible people have shown readily and proudly.

    That big old lady stroking a horse like a little girl all the time is creepy too.

    1. no_gravity

      And converted to Moronism when he way away in Vietnam, I mean Paris, so she could get sealed in the temple.

    1. Nothingisamiss

      Seriously. I had no idea just how obnoxious she was untl I saw this interview. I'm surprised she didn't fire Morales on the spot after questioning her citizenship.

  10. RedneckMuslin

    "Mrs. Romney said if they release any more information, “it will only give them more ammunition"

    Well yeah ,because they are obviously tainted.

    1. kittensdontlie

      Obama confiscated all the ammo months ago, so I have no idea what she is talking about.

  11. Texan_Bulldog

    Maybe all that botox wouldn't let her face move but the dame was seriously pissed. Ann is not used to the hired help talking back. I got a little scared the lightning bolts she was shooting from her eyes were going to kill Natalie.

  12. Baconzgood

    Why doesn't Barry just audit him? It's not like the POTUS never used the IRS as a political tool.

  13. elviouslyqueer

    But when Morales asked why she changed her mind, Mrs. Romney said, "We have a reason why we're running and it's because I believe in my heart that Mitt is going to save America, that economically we are in such difficult times and that he is the person that’s going to pull us through this."

    Oh please. Spare me the whole weepy populist hard times bullshit, and go buy yourself another fucking pony, Ann.

    1. OneYieldRegular

      If I'm reading you correctly, you seem to be implying that we shouldn't take seriously the Romneys' hard line austerity program for our economically suffering country while they're buying show horses, installing home car elevators, and giving themselves tax cuts that might have funded jobs for laid-off public servants.

  14. thatsitfortheother1

    "These people" should be a shoe in. Why are they having to work so hard at this?

    I find it rather unseemly for a former governor and man whose wealth is measured in a fraction of a billion to be slinging quite this much mud so early in the race. He's gonna get his Dockers dirty.

  15. Mumbletypeg

    Once Romney's take the White House, Ann will fulfill the job creation clause tepidly as she converts the brewery to a barn. The featured pet horse of the First Family will be named Honey though, for posterity.

  16. Ruhe

    The conventional wisdom has been that you can't attack the rich in America because the belief that we each can ourselves become rich is too widespread in our culture, i.e, "don't tax the rich too much, I might win the powerball tomorrow." But I think the real subconscious fantasy is that we'll all someday have the chance to be the total flaming asshole out in the real world that we are in our own minds. So you can't push too hard against a rich woman who like pretty horses. Someday we might all get to stroke a pony's nose and get snippy with "you people".

    1. WhatTheHolyHeck

      Rapaille proposed that the culture code for money was "proof" which his research suggested means that it doesn't matter how you got your money; if you have it, you're better, more valid, more important and more immune to criticism than people who don't have it.

      1. montreal_bruin

        Back in the '80s, after being fired as St. Ronnie's chief of staff, Donald Regan nailed it with "It's okay, I've got 'fuck-you' money."

      2. Isyaignert

        Also, too, if you have lots of $$ it's because Gawd likes you and thinks you're fukkin' awesome. If you're poor, it's because you sux and Gawd hates you. It's just like Gawd making blah people blah so it's easy to identify the bad people in the world.

    2. zumpie

      Absolutely. Not to mention most fundies really DO believe that rich people got rich through ahrd work and ARE our betters (unless, of course, they're Dems).

      Additionally, Steinbeck summed it up perfectly back in the depression:

      "Socialism has never taken hold in American because most people don't see themselves as exploted proletariats, but as temporarily embarassed millionaires"

  17. thatsitfortheother1

    And Ann's not really all that uptight. Somebody simply misplaced one of Rafalca's carrots.

  18. Ruhe

    Even at 250 Mil that's not enough to buy a pony for all of us so with Mitt I guess it'll be "Freedom, Justice and a pony…for some of you…but you won't know which until November."

  19. PsycWench

    "Mrs. Romney said if they release any more information, “it will only give them more ammunition.”"

    To be fair, we've seen what happened to Cheney when given ammunition.

  20. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    We can't show you people what you want to see, because it might give you ammunition, but we are also not hiding anything. Yeaaaaah.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      This IS a terribly funny argument. We shan't show you a thing that you will be able to use against us, because there's nothing bad to say about anything we have done. And they have gotten away with this shit for 10 years. Beautiful.

  21. James Michael Curley

    Stand by your man,
    Tho' he may cheat on taxes
    And flip flop on his vows
    Stand by your man

    1. Isyaignert

      Did Mittens get busted with his wanker in a hoo-ha that wasn't Ayns? I am hearing veiled references to this, but no "hard" information yet.

      1. James Michael Curley

        Don’t know, just thinking of Tammy Wynette when it was mentioned Ann Romney was a “Coal Miner’s Daughter’. And yes I know it was Loretta Lynn but like all republicans their whine sounds the same to me.

  22. ttommyunger

    When asked how many total years of Returns her husband will disclose, Ann snorted loudly and pawed the dirt twice with her hoof.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          I have an elderly aunt who actually calls Schultz "Mr. Ed." She loves him, watches his show every night, and doesn't even realize what she's saying. I know that behavior is usually reserved for FOX viewers, but I'll take any vote Dems can get in Florida.

          1. ttommyunger

            You're lucky. Most of my kin are Rightards. I like Ed but cant watch him. Does that make sense?Sent from my iPhone

          2. Jukesgrrl

            It makes sense.Righteous indignation wears a little thin after awhile.But I give him a pass since there are so few pro-union voices on the tube.

  23. Baconzgood

    You know, I'm begining to suspect that Mitt's involved is some tax shenanigans he doesn't want people to know about.

  24. UnholyMoses

    Oh sweet fucking Walter E. Christ …

    Ann? Can I talk to you for a moment? Yeah, you.

    Okay, so here's the deal. Yes, I'm one of "those people" — you know, the ones who are scared to fucking death we'll go bankrupt if there's just one more medical problem … who can't get his son's cavities fixed 'cause he doesn't have the $1,400 required to sedate an autistic kid with Tourette's … who has a car w/out AC during the worst heatwave of his lifetime, just because they can't afford even a $100/month car payment … who has seen his food and energy prices skyrocket, and the quality of our roads, bridges, and schools plummet … and who is just trying to work as hard as he can to pay off that $60K in student loan debt, maybe save a bit for the future, and cross his fingers and hope that the Free Market Fairy doesn't fuck him in the ass when all is said and done, taking away every single goddamn thing he's worked for.

    So I tell ya what — you stop acting as if it's your husband's birthright to be President, and maybe get out of this cloistered little fantasy world in which you inhabit and try to LEARN about the real issues facing most of us.

    Otherwise, just shut.the.holy.fuck.up about how "economically, we are in such difficult times" because you're part of the fucking problem — part of the group that's profited from "such difficult times" while millions suffer.

    You have no fucking clue.

    Not even a little.

    Now either find out what's really going on, or go the fuck away, you stupid twunt.


    One Of Those People

      1. UnholyMoses

        Aww, shucks … thanks.

        **shoves hands in pockets, kicks at dirt**

        We'll manage — we're both lucky enough to have jobs (sound of me knocking on wood goes here) so we realize there are many, many more who are hurting even worse.

        Which is why I had to let that rant fly — I'm so sick and fucking tired of people who have spent most of their lives in coddled opulence acting as if they "get it."

        I mean, what are the chances that Ann cleans the toilets, and irons Mitt's jeans and hair, and is on her hands and knees cleaning dog pee outta the carpet? And all while wondering if what little she's fortunate enough to have is going to be taken away due to no fault of her own?

        The world would be better if these clowns stayed in their compounds, paid their fair share in taxes, and then left the rest of us the hell alone to live our lives the best we can … hopefully w/out killing each other in the process.

        But I'm just a dude on the Intratubes. WTF do I know?


        1. fuflans

          i don't know if i said this to you a while back (i did to someone) and you've probably already investigated this, but my dad successfully challenged a dental claim for my handicapped brother. (also has tourettes amongst other things and needed sedation). i know it was a big fight but they eventually paid. i believe he's on medicare. so for what it's worth…

        2. AbandonHope_

          Hang on… you're supposed to clean the dog pee out of the carpet?

          That's what I've been doing wrong.

    1. MrFizzy

      She has had everything in the world given to her on the end of a fucking stick. There's no way she will ever understand or care about any ordinary thing. Maybe Rafalca will savage her, we can only hope.

          1. ChessieNefercat

            Are you mommy's little boobookitteh? Yes, you are! Are you mommy's good little boobookitteh? Yes, you are! Mwah!

  25. PuckStopsHere

    The truth equals ammunition for "them"? Perhaps if what was in there wasn't so damning it wouldn't be "ammunition." The truth is a bitch, bitch.

  26. Guppy

    "“We have been very transparent to what’s legally required of us,”"

    "Only the little people pay taxes."

  27. fuflans

    i do not know about any of this but i do know that i would rather see that sam raimi preview with the gross hag hand swallowing that kid's face than see or hear anything more from ann romney.

    thank you.

  28. Limeylizzie

    Where's the clip where, when asked how many years of tax returns Mittens would release, she whinnied, snorted and pawed the ground twice with her hoof?

  29. awashinshite

    Gives Welsh Ponies a really bad name. This is not their fault. Plus-someone else rode that horse for her in the Olympics -she had nothing to do with the horse's skills, abilities, success. Typical – hire someone to do the real work for you -and then reap the rewards. "peel me a grape" – also.

  30. fuflans

    did anyone else hear npr say this am that bill kristol was involved in the ryan pick?


    fucking bill kristol was involved in picking another VP after the last time he was involved in picking a VP?

    what is wrong with these people?

    though on the plus side, good for us i guess.

    1. smitallica

      Seriously. If Bill Kristol said day followed night, you can guarantee that the sun would explode in the middle of the night because even the universe knows that Bill Kristol is always, always, ALWAYS wrong.

  31. fartknocker

    This is somewhat fun to watch. Mitt is standing in the center of the media arena and ever so slowly, the journalists are peeling back all the layers and exposing exactly who Mittens is as a person and politician. I suspect that if Julian Assage makes it to Ecuador, Wikileaks may make this campaign even more interesting.

  32. Katydid

    Let's give the poor woman the benefit of the doubt. I don't want to look at my own tax returns, why would she? It's too depressing.

  33. widestanceromance

    She reminds me very much of the privileged women I see in a local grocery store (I live in horse country, but am not of it, of course–I rent after all), who think they can throw me shade with horse shit still on their boots while shopping (I can't take a housebroken dog in the store, yet these leather-faced hags parade right on in).

    I take none of it, and make it a point to cast as cold a judgmental eye at their manure-encrusted boots as possible. I mean, get your shitty shoes OUT of the store, and try again, betch.

  34. MrKhorlo

    Something the press, or Axelrod should pick up on:

    Let's assume that there's really nothing worth hiding in Romney's taxes, and he only wants to keep them undercover because , as Ann Romney said, "…it will only give them more ammunition." In that case, Romney has clearly identified himself as someone who is incapable of responding to cherry-picked, out-of-context factoids. If so, he disqualifies himself from the oval office. He has no idea what he would be in for, nationally or internationally. (See: Birthirism.)

    Romney: no spine, coward, yellow streak (add your own appellation…)

  35. Estproph

    "Mrs. Romney said if they release any more information, “it will only give them more ammunition.”

    In regards to their finances, she said “there’s nothing we’re hiding.”

    Does she not even realize she contradicted her own story?

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Now, now, be fair. She's not accustomed to having to form full sentences to comprise coherent thoughts. That's usually taken care of by someone else.

  36. thatsitfortheother1

    Oh wait, he did name that post office after McGannahan Skjellyfetti, so I'm cool with that…

  37. humanmanc

    What do Ann's Sister Wives have to say about Mitties tax returns? Not much as its almost impossible to speak when your mouth is gagged with an oily rag while you're chained to a radiator somewhere deep in the Mexican desert. Mmmpphhh was the only slightly legible reply.

  38. An_Outhouse

    I did NOT need to see that stuck up bitch on my TV this morning. She can take her stiff lipped, judgmental ass and disappear back to whatever shit hole she crawled out of. If you want to hear a real first lady, check out Flotus' speech from Iowa yesterday.

  39. mbobier

    Mrs. Romney said if they release any more information, “it will only give them more ammunition.”

    In regards to their finances, she said “there’s nothing we’re hiding.”

    Er, Ann, honey — those two statements are mutually exclusive…..

    1. anniegetyerfun

      She's familiar with the term "exclusive", but whatever is this "mutual" that you speak of? Mutual funds? Those are for the commoners!

  40. AbandonHope_

    economically we are in such difficult times

    Oh, are you, Ann? Are you? Do you have to eat that pony to survive? No? Then shut the fuck up.

  41. DaSandman

    It must be that itchy magic underwear that makes her such a mean twat. And that dancing horse is probably expensive glue by now for tax purposes.

  42. Isyaignert

    Hey Ayn(toinette) Rmoney – You may have "blind trust" in your sociopathic husband's tax returns, but the American people don't; especially since people are learning that the Moron (oops a typo) Church tells its rubes to perfectly fine to lie if it furthers the church, their business or family.

  43. katorigasuki

    For someone who's been running for prez for 10 fucking years, you'd think they'd have a better response to the whole tax return question. you know, like, releasing the damn returns. but hey, this is cool. we can keep beating this dead horse ("Magic") all the way to November.

  44. ChessieNefercat

    If only the damned tax amnesty had come in oh say, 2004. They could have released about 7 years of returns.

    But they are stuck in their tracks because the next return is 2009. Did Mitt claim the amnesty to avoid criminal prosecution? I say he did. Go ahead, Ann. Prove me wrong. They can't very well skip on over the 2009 return and release others, now can they?

  45. ChessieNefercat

    Also, too, Ann? I am getting just a little tired of you and Mitt acting as though he is the presumptive CEO of the US and we are all just his prospective employees, required to do his bidding and remember our place.

    Your husband is nothing but a job applicant. And we the people will be his employers if we choose to hire him for this job. And due to its great financial responsibilities, we have every right to decide if he is likely to be sticking his hand in the company till while in our employ.

    So while you are correct that you are not legally obligated to provide more tax returns, any more than a job applicant is legally obligated to provide a resume, you and your jackassy husband need to wrap your stupid heads around the idea that if you do not provide the information we are requesting, we may choose not to hire you.

    1. Isyaignert

      The Rmoneys think this is an 'effin' coronation. No lie, those fumducks actually believe they'll get their own planet to rule over when they die. Frankly, I can't wait to see those smug pukes go.

  46. Nostrildamus

    “You’re so pretty, Magic,” said Mrs. Romney as she fed the pony a squirming, calico kitten.

  47. Thunderclees

    “And so, you know, I’ll be curious to see what’s in there too.”


  48. aussiefromafar

    She's the kind of nodding dimwit that gives trophy wives a bad name. Way to go Ann….best shut your mouth before you come across as a A Grade bitch.

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