Mitt Romney has a never-ending list of complaints about things President Obama is not allowed to criticize him on — Medicare, his business career, taxes, things of that nature — but the Obama campaign simply won’t stop. The only way to stop this now is to get the people involved. We must all sign this petition to get our names in the Romney contact database end the hurtful attacks on Mitt Romney during this most important of elections. Will you, reader, “sign [this] petition if you agree President Obama should take his campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago”?
From the new MittRomney.com venture, “America Deserves Better”:
President Obama’s campaign and his surrogates have made wild and reckless accusations that disgrace the office of the Presidency. Another outrageous charge came yesterday in Virginia. And the White House sinks a little bit lower.
This is what an angry and desperate Presidency looks like.
President Obama knows better and promised better; and America deserves better.
Sign the petition if you agree President Obama should take his campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago.
Former Democratic strategist Peter Feld raises a good point in his response to “Mitt Romney” on Twitter: “complaining about tactics makes you look weak. Like a wimp. Man up. And where do you come off maligning a major US city?” Indeed, how do Republicans get away with trashing the third largest city in the United States, constantly? This geographical license Republicans have to play their base off of City Folk has always fascinated your Wonkette. Democrats win like 80%+ of the vote in major cities, but also need to either win or keep margins close in suburbs, small towns, etc. They get no advantage from outright insulting certain demographics. Republicans have ceded the urban vote so sharply that they gain by insulting major metropolitan areas and the people who live in them as craven monsters. See Pfotenhauer, Nancy, for a prime example.
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Mitt Romney is just practicing Salt Lake City tactics. Run awayyyyyyyyyy!
Mitt reminds me of Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke, except if instead of pulling his bloody, beaten, self up to keep throwing futile punches at Dragline during the boxing scene, when everybody around him was begging him to "just say down, for God's sakes," Luke had run away weeping and whimpering at the first punch.
Our Mitt is the anti-Rocky.
Or Boston, or Grosse Pointe, or La Jolla, or Kochville, or The Middle of Nowhere.
Guess Paul Ryan's Holy Hand Grenade didn't work as planned?
I think they counted to five.
Also, can I point out that this is a guy who made his fortune buying companies with borrowed money, firing the workers, liquidating their pensions, loading the companies with debt and then paying himself millions of dollars in bonuses?
Chicago politics ain't shit as compared to the cold blooded ruthlessness of Bane Capital gold-lust.
Yeah, but he did all that in quiet rooms, where you can't hear the little people insult you. Or suffer, for that matter.
Oh, and you forgot one key component – structuring said deals to make sure as little as possible of the billions in revenue, gains and fees Bain realized were ever subject to taxation anywhere in the world, helping to shred infrastructure and social programs on a global basis.
Brave Sir Romney run away, bravely he run away….
Cutme Abreak, lamewhiner@gop.com, just signed. Thanks for the heads up!
Whiner Rmoney, butthurt@gop.com reporting in!
Regards from WhinyAss TittyBaby, manup@dickless.edu.
FYI: Whinyass Pussyfart, suckitup@bite-me.com has your back.
Vai Ginal, probe@misogynist.net also reporting in!
Wimp Pansy, wimpy@mittromney.com appears to have signed the petition also.
So did: Wailing Baby, wailingbabay@waaah.com
Groh Apair, giveupalready@gmail.com
Can'tTakeWhat YouDishOut, crybabymittens86@rnc.biz, roger and out.
Laceypants Ennui, sandinvagina@gop.com. One million strong!
Don B. Apussy, grow@pair.com, reporting for duty.
I.P. Freely, Esq. is in da house!
Suque-Itupp Butrcupp, pullupyer@biggirlpanties.com reporting for duty!
Dick. Lesswonder signed in from
U_R_@loser.edu
Dodger Taxes (gimme@MeMeMe.com) signed.
Callie Waaaambulance, clownshow@gop.com checking in!
dancyhorse@youpeople.com now thinks that Moneybot's wittle hurt feelings are a major campaign issue.
Cryme Ariver signed in from
bustingmyballs@loser.gov
Beaux Hugh-Hughes, pityparty@gop.com also signed! I think they're related.
Suckit Up, I'llgiveyousomethingtocryabout@OBAMA2012.gov
Finally, some mysterious figure named Anonymous Youpeopledontneedtoknow, illtellyou@fterigetelected.not, also signed.
Budd Fukk and Anna Lingus have performed their civic duty!
My go-to email address is @debbiespenditnow.com, for old time's sake.
Whiny McButthurtt, PoorMe@GOPtards.com, is very upset about Mitt's hurt butt.
WeenieRomnie@suchabitch.org hoping you won't make me go to Chicago or I will break down in tears.
Limp Weenie @ MomPants.org reporting for dooty.
Liar Liar
Pantsonfire@universityofbullshitandnonsense.edu
Weighed in
I don't know how to war blog :sadface: it won't take my Les Fifi Herts@commie.gov. I am disappoint.
My guess–it does not like the word “commie.” Try freeloader.gov, taxevader.gov, or whatareyouhiding.gov.
Whatruababy@hotmail.com sends best regards.
Hugh Gerection is on board.
Hugh Jass and Al Coholic signed!
Rivercry Peepants totally supports you, Mittens.
Rivercry,
Four years ago, President Obama ran on a campaign of "hope and change," promising to be a different kind of politician. Today, however, we bear witness to a campaign based on frustration and division.
With no record to run on, President Obama and the liberal Democrats continue to practice Chicago-style politics, making false accusations that disgrace the Office of the President. President Obama and his allies have gone from implying that Governor Romney is a felon and murderer to saying that Republicans want to put Americans in chains.
Watch this recent video to see how the Obama campaign and the liberal Democrats have gone too far.
It's time for President Obama and the liberal Democrats to take responsibility for the tone and rhetoric coming from their reelection machine.
Please donate $10 or more today to bring civility back to Washington.
Thanks,
Reince Priebus
Chairman, Republican National Committee
Mike Hunt, mikehunthurtz@gdoh!p.gov reporting for doodee!
They don't do very good email address validation, then.
Sobbin Bauler (entitlementboy@onepercentofnuthin.com) signed but did not care to donate.
pittypat pantsload, whinewhinewhine@whiners.com.
and they BOUGHT it. thanked me for it.
now for a bowl of tasty, heart healthy cheerios. with banana.
Ima Whiner, weaktitty.msn also
By midnight there will be at least 30,000 Weedlord Bonerhitler's who have signed up.
Make that 30,001.
Heywood J. Blowme, here!
Better to say Heywood Jablome. It takes them longer to figure out.
Hi there. Hugh Jorgan, pleased to meet you.
Mike Oxlong is just livid about this issue.
Tonsor Involuntaria, noapology@gmail.com 48304
Behind you all the way, sir. With a shiv. Of votes.
Well, shit.
But I want to see the mean scary black man make the Latter Day Saint cry tears of molten gold.
Please?
And I want to see it live on television with instant replay.
it's why TIVO was INVENNNNNNNNNTED!!
Do robots not cry human tears?
the tears won't be molten gold , although yellow in color .
They won't even be tears, but might have a scent of asparagus depending on what Romney ingested.
Maybe if he pays the scary black man $20, he can convince him not to hurt him. Convince him in a special way.
I smell a trap. It's illegal to co-ordinate with a super PAC.
Well then I guess it's a good thing that suckmyballz@aol.com is not a real email address.
As far as I know.
Todd Palin's inbox may be a little bit fuller today.
It's easier to run a campaign "out in the middle of nowhere."
And I'm hoping they will continue to run it into the "middle of nowhere."
"Hey, where ya going? You've got a shovel? Whatcha digging? You'r digging a grave. Is it a personal grave or a business grave? Need some help with that Whoa, we sure are a long way from Chicago."
"Sure are a lot of trees out here – and they're all the right height."
Mitt is a pussy.
No, he's not.
I like pussy.
You are what you eat.
Romney wouldn't last 5 minutes in Chicago before he found his custom made, Italian leather shoes tied in a neat bun on the top of his Easter Island head.
Dear Mittens. If you can stand the heat, stay out of the White House!
Looks like Mitt Romney brought a box of hankies to a knife fight.
Tee hee!
Good one!
Well, John Boehner's going to be there, so…
Do you suppose he cries orange tears?
…better to bring a crate of hankies?
It's Mitt's time, to cry.
"I've told lies you people wouldn't believe"
And threw the whole box at the knife.
All Twitt Phoney wanted was a chance to redecorate the Oval Office, not all this slapping and hitting.
The Swiss Army Knife of linens — good for wiping one's tears or waving in surrender. Can even serve as a diaper, in a pinch.
It's my (political) party, and I'll cry if I want to!
Why doesn't Mittens just tell his mommy?
He did, but she told him to "be a Man for once in your life, for God's sakes!" and sent him right back out to the playground.
I think you mean mommies.
He's afraid she'll ask for her jeans back.
complaining about tactics makes you look weak. Like a wimp. Man up.
Oooooh gurl! He went right there.
Snap!!
We must all sign this petition to
get our names in the Romney contact databaseActually a good move. They'll cross check against that list when they're purging registered voters in FL, PA, OH, etc. to make sure they don't remove any real Americans.
"President Obama’s campaign and his surrogates have made wild and reckless accusations"
How are fair and accurate statements about Romney's actual actions and policies "wild and reckless accusations"?
They've been uttered outside of quiet rooms.
Not to mention that after four years of what the Republicans have thrown at Barack Obama, complaining about being treated unfairly resonates with about the same degree of absurdity (and unhinged-ness) as trying to fill an oil tanker by pissing in it.
Telling the truth about the GOP is wild and reckless. What's so hard to understand about that?
I agree President Obama should take his campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago.
Signed, Stoney McBongHitler
[Edit] Oh this is rich — "Between now and the start of the Republican National Convention on August 27, you can earn new Romney-Ryan gear while contacting voters on behalf of Mitt and Paul." http://www.mittromney.com/call-home-landing
Sign me up!
"Hello, I'm calling on behalf of Mitt Romney. Did you know there's a black man in the white house?"
I'd tell them all to vote for Obama.
Tempting. Very tempting.
"Governor Romney would like to know if you have Medicare in a can."
"The Romney-Ryan team wants to know if your Social Security is running."
"Congratulations, sir/ma'am. You've been selected at random by the Mitt Romney campaign to receive a free four-year-long colonoscopy, paid for by Koch Industries."
oh wow, that is tempting. Hello, senior citizen-won't you help Mitt Romney destroy Medicare, Medicaid, nutrition assistance, and education?
I want a sweater-vest!
Is the Romney-Ryan gear made in China? Vietnam?
Utah maybe?
only the special underwear
Forget where it's made – what's Bain's connection to the manufacturer? Romney is going to make a profit from this campaign no matter what it takes.
1,500 calls for a mere t-shirt? Unless it's Ann Romney's very own fishbird t-shirt, that is one hell of an austerity program.
Yeah, but if you make a million calls you get your own Swiss bank account.
For a billion calls, your own afterlife personal pleasuredome planet?
Do they have pepper spray?
On a more serious note, you could all join me in working for the Obama campaign. We've been making "coersion calls". It's fun. I loved the little old toothless woman who told me that she didn't know who she was voting for, and thought that they should legalize street drugs. I was able to tell her that I sincerely believed that Mitt Romney would not be doing that.
I'm thinking the toothless lady may have been a Ron Paul supporter.
True dat….
Shorter Romney campaign:
"Telling the truth about what I plan on doing as president is divisive, mean, and hateful!"
"Especially since I have no clue what to do if I'm elected."
"You certainly don't see me doing that!"
Oh Geebuzz Eaytch Fucking Crackerjacks.
HOW did this fucker ever make it out of gradeschool without being permanently tagged Mr Whineybaby? Oh wait, cause the Rmoney butlers, drivers and nannies went around handing out cash, bribing every kid who uttered such blasphemies to STFU. Otherwise …
I think he made it through with a scissors in his pocket at the ready.
Probably those small, plastic safety scissors in case, you know, he might his wittle fingies.
Spin and Marty.
Plus, don't ferget that Willard led the school year posse while in prep school whereby him and his bubbas held down guys thought to be gay and cut their hair. I guess he forgot how to be a bully and turned to whining.
Bullies usually bawl their eyes out when someone fights back.
The bullied kids in public school could've been bullies in Mitt's pansy ass prep school.
Soar Balz @rnc
If we give our contact to Obama's campaign we may be invited to have a beer or two.
But what will we get from Mitt? A pack of Jello?
Or a cup of the kool-aid.
Don't they make Jello from gelatin from horse bones? Uh oh.
Rafalca libel!
Seriously, though… When IS the last time anybody saw Rafalca?
And Romney should take his campaign of hatred and division back to LaJolla, Belmont, Wolfesboro,Park City etc.
That's his solution? A freaking petition? I thought Republicans were supposed to be tough guys, but take away their "Second Amendment remedies" (because the Secret Service will pay you a visit if you say that kind of thing about the President), and they're just a bunch of petition-signing wimps.
And dirty hippies, too.
This geographical license Republicans have to play their base off of City Folk has always fascinated your Wonkette.
Isn't "urban" a dogwhistle word for "blah"?
I'm all in favor of this. It really hurts my feelings when someone says a thing about me, or uses metaphors, or repeats a thing I have said, so I completely understand where Mitt is coming from.
Also, I bruise rather badly upon most physical contact, which is why I have been suspended in a warm nutrient jelly since birth. Mitt Romney's my idol, because he's so tough! I mean, by comparison.
"warm nutrient jelly"
I don't suppose that is a smear for my bagel?
I wouldn't, because I know exactly where it's been.
(DISCLAIMER: this account of the internet Hate Machine's life has been slightly [read: completely] fictionalized)
Did you get a backpack implanted zim style?
Organic warm nutrient jelly or GTFO!
These complaints are made by a man who called the shots from the 30th floor in a boardroom behind closed doors. All he knows to do is slap Obama with one of his silk gloves. Welcome to the real fucking world, Mittens.
Rich Whiner heartily approves and can't wait until Mitt gets the kind of friendly campaign that he carried out against Newt, Michele, Rick and that pizza-blowjobby guy.
Seriously, the level of entitlement this man has is not only viewable from orbit, but in fact knocks satellites out of orbit and will one day send Neptune crashing into the sun.
Mitt is really showing us the giant pair of balls he will carry around when dealing with Kim Jung Un and Ahmadinejad. Assad is shaking in his Syrian boots right now.
Just imagine how he will defend the Untied States by talking with mean anti-American foreign leaders, and promptly pissing himself.
"Sign this petition if you think Kim Jung Un should stop raining missiles down on Seoul."
This approach is better than "Forward this message to 10 friends if you want china to stop invading California". See, Mittens IS strong on foreign policy.
This is okay because Magic Underwear act like Depends when the need arises..
Untied States: Typo, or best play on words ever?
He doesn't want to get into a confrontatory position- either with the United Snakes, or, with them
I guess the government will have to pay a lot of money to a contractor to keep him in Depends men's underwear.
Willard's foreign policy will likely also lose some international prestige after Vladimir Putin nails his shriveled little balls to his forehead on live TV.
And the British P.M. calls him a wanker or a tosser and M.I. 6 looks at him rather meanly.
"When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled, brave, brave, brave Sir Mittens…."
Anna Leakij from paulryansbuttplug@ouchie.org. Signed, locked, and loaded. USA USA USA, also, too.
romney is all too familiar with annaleakij
Comments like that are why I love this site …
I've seen tons of Romney ads online recently, including here on Wonkette and on other places which are not likely to have many people inclined to vote for him, including while watching The Daily Show on Hulu and Maddow on nbc.com; they are mostly both whiny and filled with lies, with the latest being angry that Obama would dare point out that Mitt and Paul's plan to destroy Medicare would destroy Medicare.
It's all just just constant whining that Obama would dare say mean truthful things about him.
And to think, the whining is only going to get more intense as the election nears and it becomes more and more clear that Romney is going to lose, and lose big, in part because he's such a fucking whiney whiner, and also because he wants to destroy Medicare, and also because he's a compulsive liar. But mostly the whiney whining all the whiney time.
Whining does not win votes.
Friends:
Please sign my petition to bring John Kerry style politics back into our electoral process. In the past, Democrats would gently, and quietly, respond politely to ad hominem attacks against their character and families, which would allow republicans to throw out outrageous lies and trick ignorant hillbillies. But this noble tradition, ruined by this secret muslim kenyan socialist blah, has been discarded.
And now, the blah guy is trying his Chicago-Style politics in this election, politics that involve mean, but true, words that the press pays attention to. Won't you help me stop this, real american, by signing my petition?
I don't have to send money — Do I?
Yes, my friend, you do. Do you think gold teeth for a dancing horse just appear out of thin air?
OK, I want a bumper sticker that says: Romney Cares!
We only have ones that say "Destroy Medicare With Romney/Ryan 2012"
They're not exactly advertising romneycare these days.
No!!!!!!!!!!!! My kind of town Chicago is……….
Well Obama needs to try harder – right now, Mittens is less than a mile away from my home, sucking a bunch of money out of a bunch of riches. $25,000 gets you dinner with Mittens, and a grand gets you into the show to eyeball him. I'm hoping they all fall down Red Mountain. Chicago is my hometown, I should go over there and put down a grand just so I can tell him to fuck off, Chicago style.
ME NO MITT ROMNEY HIM OBAMA IS MEAN. HIM OBAMA ALWAYS TO MAKE YELLING AND DIVISING! ME NO MITT ROMNEY! ME BELIEVE IN UNITY AND TOGETHERNESS!
I don't know why. But I feel this is the comment of the day.
Bizarro Billmatic?
I figured sticking with this Bizzaro joke would eventually pay off because seriously what the hell.
tu quoque, Mittens, tu quoque.
Is that Latin for "Mitt Romney, you're a dick"? Because it should be…
Why won't Mitt Romney stop this war of divisiveness and give us all home car elevators?
Two in every garage!
Or homes.
I won't stop tantruming until I have a dancing pony of my very own.
But I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant one!!!!!!
It's politics, not fucking Boy Scouts.
With all these excessive regulations on sex offenders, fucking Boy Scouts is not the picnic it used to be…
I believe this sort of maneuver would get your ass kicked in the Boy Scouts.
Fixed for Swiss Army-ness and Do My Bestitude.
Well, Ryan IS Catholic.
I'll also sign a petition to get a nuclear waste dump located underneath the Mormon Tabernacle.
that would disrupt the crypt orgies around the wax figures of the dead ones baptized after death and against their wishes , including romney's father-in-law …
Now we know why Mittens loves vaginas so much: He is one.
Well, to be fair, I rather enjoy vaginas, too. And when I'm visiting, I try to stay there as long as I can without wearing out either my welcome or the vagina.
Please do not insult vaginas like that. My vagina can take a bruising without running home to mama to cry.
That is an insult to vagina everywhere.
Well, you can't hate a man for liking to eat papaya, now can you.
My God, Ann Romney's face is wider than a Jack Kirby drawing of Sue Storm from a 1968 issue of The Fantastic Four!
Wooden vagina.
*shudder*
Thanks for this story! Mittens es una papaya, pero también es un payaso comemierda.
When you're Mr. Fantastic, they always fit! Mitt and Ann thank you for your support: http://www.artofjohnbyrne.com/gallery/cache/sketc…
RULES FOR CAMPAIGNING RADICALS
1. No slurs on Republicans or the mentally disabled (the actually mentally disabled, not just Republicans). This is well-established, assholes.
2. No wishing or ideating on political threats to those with whom you disagree (i.e. ‘machinevoting’ or hoping for their defeat in any other sense than that you hope they lose lonely and alone).
3. Try not to be totally Liberal.
4. If you wanna be disgusting Demonrats and talk about sulkfucking your opponents, then your GOP nominee, as a One Percenter robo-king in the land of the Ninety-Nine, will not not take offense. But it’s pretty perilously fucking close to wishing chains on someone. Maybe think about that?
This comment has been deleted by the administrator.
This comment is intended to say WIN for Extemporanus.
Skullfucking and assault rifles are OK then?
Yes, though not necessarily in that order.
Upfist for "sulkfucking"!
Is "sulkfucking" like "scowlfucking"? And are the both similar to "hatefucking"?
You've gone full Kratos. http://tigerfenix.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/god…
Oh for fuck's sake.
Seriously?
What Chet said.
Maybe I'm misinterpreting what Chet said — and your subsequent seconding — but, to be clear…
I WAS SIMULTANEOUSLY SATIRIZING REPUBLICANS & REBECCA.
Poorly? Perhaps. But sincerely? C'mon…
Gentlemen, you can't satirize in here! This is the poop-joke room!
Did anyone else misread the petition request as: "Sign the petition if you agree President Obama should take his campaign of division and anger and hate black to Chicago"?
I'm looking at that picture and wondering how much the watch Bitch Romoney is wearing is worth.
Well, if you can get the cooties off of it, it might be worth something?
I'd call Mitt a pussy, but that wouldn't be fair to my two nuetered cats who have more balls than this pampered plutocratic poseur.
Is there a "Mitt, wash the sand out of your mangina" box we can check? (sorry if that was sexist)
"should take his campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago."
Um, am I the only one who finds this a bit confusing because Obama's campaign is based in Chicago? I mean, um, it's there already, right? So we don't really need to take it back there, unless someone took it, did someone take it while I wasn't looking?
Romney is clearly commander-in-chief material.
Or materiel.
Brave Sir Mittens
He bravely ran away
I recall Churchill, during the darkest hours of the Blitz, rallying the British people by calling upon them to sign a petition pleading for Hitler to take his division, anger and hate back to Berlin. And Churchill and Britain triumphed.
Mitt is just a modern-day Churchill, fighting against a far worse enemy.
Kum bay ya, Mittens, kum bay ya;
Kum bay ya, Mittens, kum bay ya;
Kum bay ya, Mittens, kum bay ya,
O Mittens, you're a fucking wimp.
Hey Mitt, you should put Barry in a headlock and give him a haircut during the debates.
Oh, he may not be as feeble and weak as the last guy you tried that on so be prepared to get the shit kicked out of you this time.
Especially when Seal Team 6 arrives.
if the last guy was so feeble and weak , why did romney need so much help , including the school wrestling champ ? always wondered what romney was so fearful of
So your brother's bound and gagged
And they've chained him to a chair
Won't you please come to chicago just to sing
In a land that's known as freedom how can such a thing be fair
won't you please come to chicago for the help that we can bring
We can change the world rearrange the world
It's dying – to get better
Politicians sit yourselves down, there's nothing for you here
won't you please come to chicago for a ride
don't ask jack to help you `cause he'll turn the other ear
won't you please come to chicago or else join the other side
We can change the world rearrange the world
it's dying – if you believe in justice
dying – and if you believe in freedom
I bought that record right after I got done with Vietnam and played it for my mom one day. She was appalled at all the lawless hippies. Also expressed great satisfaction at the deaths of Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin.
Now there is a nice little nostalgic ditty.
What Mittens needs is a good Atomic Wedgie.
Fucking wiener. He's upset when the "Other" fucked up his entire campaign strategerizee and made him look like an idiot (although that would have happened anyway.)
I'm looking forward to the first debate, when Mittens prefaces his opening argument by handing Obama this petition, signed by all his friends asking please stop being mean to me.
Check and mate, libtardians.
Oh, here we go again: BLAHS=ANGRY. 'Cause they comin' for to cut you and sleep wit da white wimmens. 'Cause this isn't a sentiment the Repugs have EVER exploited, right?
Oh, blow me where the Pampers is.
Love that movie. Had me laughing HYSTERICALLY when I first watched that part.
What a wimp.
Having had a fleet of ass kissers planted firmly on his entitled ass for so long, I would imagine it would feel a bit of a chill when the lips were replaced by boots. Tough thing for someone like that, who has been surrounded by yes men and cowtowed to by toadies since birth. Add in magic underwear and believing that your prophet in chief dug up golden plates that revealed all (and that same prophet in chief dictated the holy book not just once, but twice from looking at the inside of his hat) must make one a little tender around the nether regions. Mitt needs to build up some calluses on that thing.
He does entirely come across as the kid who never heard "no" his whole life, until now, doesn't he?
I've had more reasonable conversations with my 4 year old Granddaughter.
I bet she's heard "No" a lot more than Mittens ever did.
Simpering is such an attractive communication style… for the GOP-hawk-gunlovin' Presidential candidate who beat out all the others. Slam-dunk winning strategy.
I'm not sure "Vote for me, I'm a total whiny butt" is a good call on the Romney campaign's part.
Only if he's trying to capture the sympathy vote for prom queen
And after that, it's a bucket of pig's blood, amirite?
Sounds to me like you've *seen* this movie before.
you got yer weedlord here, couldn't think of anything better
Is it too late to pick another Veep candidate? Think about it Mitt. No, really, it won't look like flipflopping. Really.
"How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."- Some guy from the planet Kolob
OW! Quit it! OW! Quit it! OW! Quit it! OW! Quit it! OW! Quit it!
I'm already in Chicago, where we spit on cute dogs, kick adorable children, and push old ladies in front of buses, _just to watch them die_ so I think I'll give this a pass. Also, fuck you sideways, Mitt, for vilifying my city. What the fuck is that, anyway.
His toothpaste logo should be colored Hershey-squirt brown.
Wait, I thought Santorum quit the race!
In the above photo, children are having a laugh attack at poor Mittens expense…expect another line on his petition for that.
Hey, I got a whole list of cities Obama can take his campaign to. Shall I forward it to R-Money?
If only that guy whose hair Mitt cut off in high school would have thought to create a petition!
Sweet!
How many times did Adolf Hitler sign Romney's petition today?
AOTK.
I don't know about Adolf, but his brother Weedlord Boner signed all OVER that damn thing.
Cry Me a Chicago River.
Hey, Mitt, if you can't handle one little black president. How are you going to handle Israel trying to start WWIII over Iran. Huh? Huh?
Bullies are such wusses when someone tougher comes along.
Tiny P. Enis growsomeballs@dickhead.com signed in!
KissmaAhz@Holysite.com just signed the petition.
Oh, that is awesome!
This reminds me of PeteSessions.com. You can vote for "Whether Congress should have passed Obamacare?"
Yes -76%
No-26%
LOL
I just pushed it to 76.84%
Had to vote seven times, but that's what they get for not asking for a photo ID.
I bet we could push it to 80%, before Sessions' flunkies notice and take down the poll.
Now a nice round 77%
.01
Couldn't help myself. .02
77.11%. I like the symmetry.
That things still up? Some IT guy's not doin his jerb.
Or he's laughing up his sleeve every time he checks the numbers.
Hey, Mittens…. At least Obama hasn't led a group of your friends in holding you down and cutting off your hair while you scream for them to stop. Because that would be a really, really shitty thing for a person who wants to be elected President to do.
'they put one of ours in the hospital, we put one of theirs in the morgue!' 'that s the chicago way!!'
if paul r is missing you know where to start looking
It is probably best that car trunks now have that escape latch on the inside.
WAAA WAAA WAAA! Poor li'l Mittens is being bullied by the big blah man. Actually that stupid flag says something correct – America does deserve better than a magic underwear wearing hack.
I am not sure about this, but it really seems as if Mittens thought everybody would just fall all in love with him……..just because he is Mitt Romney.
You can be sure.
That's exactly it. And just hand him the presidency because it's the natural order of things.
That's how everything else has worked for him his whole life. Why should this be any different?
When you think you're entitled to a whole fucking planet, it's natural to assume that the White House is yours for the asking.
DrunkIrishman's petition to Mitt Romney: MAN THE FUCK UP YOU MORMON PANSY! YOU'RE NOT RUNNING FOR GODDAMN BISHOP HERE! YOU'RE RUNNING TO BE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED FUCKING STATES OF THE WORLD AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE A BIT OF A BRUISING CAMPAIGN FROM OBAMA, HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO CUT IT WHEN DEALING WITH OUR ENEMIES?
STOP BEING A PUSSY.
And I'll happily staple this letter to Ann Romney's face because we all know she's had so much botox done that she wouldn't feel a goddamn thing.
Can I Tweet this to @MittRomney his own se'f?
I love how the Republicans think insulting cities and the folks who live in them is a winning tactic. It worked so well when Rudy called out the "cosmopolitans" in 2008.
Stop using our tactics! It hurts! So the Publicans are now the equivalent of creating a paste pill of lye, cleaning out the grease trap, coating the lye with the grease, leaving the noxious amalgam in the freezer, coating it with sprinkles and waving it on a string to enchant the deluded base.
"I must say that the first man who threw peas at me was a publican…" William Topaz McGonagall.
i'm getting the sense that mittens would be a terrible president.
but maybe i'm just too sensitive.
I don't know why they smack talk Chi Town. It is a kick ass city. And as a Cubs fan I gotta say, wait till next year. Next year will be their year.
Me, too. I dare Mitt to go to Chicago and say that.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/chicago-cubs-can…
Red Sox fans look forward to playing the Cubs in the Series. Next season.
I never knew I.P. Daily was such a common name.
This whiny, tiny ballsack is making Palin look presidential in stature.
Divisadero and Haight? That's San Francisco, not Chicago- oh, sorry
Man these rupublicans are so thin skinned.
Wow, their "make phone calls for mitt" doesn't do any verification at all…. Totally dumb as in Bangalore, Indiana 99999 for a location.
I am very willing to sign a "Keep Hitting Mitt Romney" petition.
Whack-a-Mittmole?
Actually, that would be hilarious — imagine Mitt hauling out his petition on national teevee and yammering about how x thousand real 'mericans are all butthurt and whiny about this … and Obama hauls out his petition with 3x thousand telling him to keep hammering away.
I had a dream that went something like that, with Mitt and Obama.
A very… strange dream.
One that made me question… things.
"Go back to Chicago!!" = "Go back to Africa!!"
How many licks does it take to get to the center of Mitt's candy ass? Not many!
I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Thanks for the nightmares, Chet.
Dear god! One is too many!
The only instinct I have to old white dudes staring that intently with that little smile and using passive-agressive language in mixed-serif fonts is "restraining order."
Yep, no blocking cookies, so Barry Soetoro just signed up . Also, I checked, Kenyan postal codes are 5 digits so nothing to distinguish them from any in the U.S. as far as I can tell.
I recall a brilliant strategist and politician once saying something along the lines of "Time to put on your Big Boy pants!" to a political opponent. I second that notion today.
Mitt should really think about putting his fainting couch behind closed doors.
I don't think it's possible for me to despise this man-baby any further.
Mike Hawkstrong is in!
So he's against hate now? Sorry Rush.
Claire Voyant just signed.
And Bea Fuddled has been receiving emails from Ole Crazy Eyes and all her right wing buddies for the past five years or so. That email has been sold more times than a two dollar hooker.
He pulls a tweet, you pull a email. He sends one of yours to Facebook, you send one of his to the data base! That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Romney!
A petition is the absolute bottom of the political food chain. Nobody pays the slightest attention to one of these. Particularly when it's signed with more fake names than Ole Newt's Virginia primary nomination.
Look, isn't there someone, someone crooked in the Obama campaign that Mitt can make a "donation" to, to make this whole election thing "go away"?
Tax returns, too. But maybe he's forgotten where those are…
Gosh Ill sign!
MikeHunt@Doesntgiveashit.com
Heywood@JBlowme.com is in!
DIVISION
ANGER
and HATE
delivered fresh daily! Tell Mitt Romney "YES", this sets my tail to wagging and gives me a bright-red doggie-boner!
—–
ROMNEY/RYAN 2012
In related news: Romney camp cancels Orlando stop scheduled in Florida due to exhaustion.
Exhaustion? Isn't that Hollywood speak for "coke binge?"
Donald Duck's screaming fits make Poor Mittens pee his Magic Underwear.
The crying jag had a crying jag.
Jesse Jackson Jr. libel!
He's "intellecutally exhausted."
He's exhausted all his options for improving his poll numbers.
Next step is that he's resigning to "spend more time with his family"
*Crosses fingers*
Coke binge. Extended bar crawl. A week of meth use. Terrible movie reviews. Faltering campaign. All the the same thing.
I thought it was 666.
Mitt Romney makes Martin Prince look like Nelson Muntz.
Mitt wants the whole election to be decided in a quiet room somewhere.
Too bad that the fellow student at Romney's prep school didn't think of submitting a petition to Mitt and his personal squad of goons, that day he dared to walk around campus with hair so long that it offended THE LITTLE PRINCE.
I hope he buys that weed from Steve Martin before the debates!
When is Romney going to go to Xanadu or Clodstar or whatever fucking planet he gets to inherit when Morany calls him home?
Man–Willard is such a sensitive guy. He's really not going to like the new Devo song in honor of Seamus the Dog, "Don't Roof Rack Me Bro." Too funny–check it out at Rolling Stone's site.
Since when did the Republigoons become the party of Kumbaya Kampaigning? Oh yah, since they started to lose this one.
So Willard takes off the silk gloves….good thing he's got the rubber ones underneath…honest to God, more and more, this looks like one of those National Lampoon movies where the jocks are thinskinned and clueless….
If Obama sends all his division, anger and hate here, can we have a wonkette bar crawl and/or riot?
"complaining about tactics makes you look weak. Like a wimp. Man up.
The Book of Mormon says to man up. Not the actual book but the Broadway play.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1n_1jmKpu4
Holy crap. Looks like the LDS is advertising on Book of Mormon youtubes.
LDS advertises all over youtube.
Or maybe it's just me, but I don't know why that would be.
Viewing/search history? Geolocation?
I hadn't seen it before.
signed- What A Crybaby mittsacrybaby@hypocrite.com 90120
Man, I am so glad the fucking shoe is on the other fucking foot for fucking once.
Ain't no fun when the rabbit's got the gun.
"Take your hateful, anger driven, division politics and send them back to Arabland with all the freedom-hating, Sharia loving terrorist Muslims, welfare sucking Mexicans and Karl Marx loving liberals where they belong!"
The look on Mitt's face add the last unwritten word to this ad: "Please?"
Oh, Mittens — If Barack really DID start going all Chicago on you, you would never survive it.
Isn't that the imagery they hope to conjure?
Romney's site just let me sign his petition ten times! I ran out of dirty names and had to google a few. Mr. Phillip Herass has had his say dagnabbit!
Walnuts has got to be blushing and cringing somewhere in a corner about now; even at 72 and a cancer survivor, he had more stomach for the fight than this pussy.
wtf
Thank you for standing with Mitt. Governor Romney is focused on restoring American greatness and making Barack Obama a one-term President.
To do this we are going to need your support to help ensure we have the resources necessary to take on Barack Obama and his billion dollar attack machine.
the chicago way!
Sorry I'm so late to the party. Rich Whineybitch crybaby@hypocrite.gop signed up. I can't wait to get me first email.
ooh cripes sake Mittens you pussy!
$arah Palin has bigger balls that you do, pussy.
I wonder what the Romney version of James Carville's bizarre comment from '08 would be. I'm gonna guess:
"Hillary could give Mitt one of her balls and she'd still be twice the man he'd be"
Mutt hates hatred. And anger makes him angry. And don't even get him started about division. We need a multi millionaire job raper with a dancing horse and a car elevator to unite us.
Nope…nothing divisive, angry, or hateful about telling someone to go "back to" somewhere, or insulting an entire American city.
remember seamus! devo to put out single commemmorating our roof-racked canine brother.
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/devo-hou…
What is the Law? Not to put the dog on the roof rack, that is the Law. Are we not men?!?
Iwanna_ Beemee @ shutup.com
Herman Caine oooooohbaby@ladiesman.com
You want a vote, don't you?
Why does Mittens hate Chicago?
And why's he dividing the nation from Chicago?
Willard Romney = CoWAAAAAAAAHHHHnder-In-Chief.
In these tough times, America needs a hardcore Emo as POTUS … & Boehner is too scared to run.
For "Back to Chicago" read "Back to Africa"
Of course it takes you directly to the donate link. If you donate, you probably become part of some Kolob tax loophole scheme forcing you into some payment plan.
This geographical license Republicans have to play their base off of City Folk has always fascinated your Wonkette.
It's a war on cities.
Speaking as a Chicago native, if Obama were really practicing Chicago-style politics, starting tomorrow Mitt Romney would have a new luxury residence.
In an oil drum buried under the end zone at Soldier Field.
I just hope nobody *else* signed it as Weedlord Bonerhitler.
oh, h*ll, the Repubs hate lots more cities than just Chicago, let's start with New York, San Francisco, and on and on…
Does me feeling like shit because two of my fellow Wonketteers whom I respect and admire most didn't find what I said funny count as a poop joke?
Because if so…
The Aristocrats!
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