There was a spot of bother and a hullabaloo yesterday when Old Handsome Joe Biden said “chains,” His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney called Barack Obama full of “hate,” the Obama campaign called Mittens “unhinged,” and Mittens said nuh uh you are. (For the record, we didn’t buy Bamz’s people’s “unhinged” slur; Mittens, to our eye, was clearly more “miffed,” as he seems to think it quite unfair when he isn’t surrounded by fawning yes men, sort of like a Donald Trump.) Well, we are on Day Two of this fucker now, with everyone from Buzzfeed to Ol’ Lizard-Lips tossing forth their ha-penny of thought. But what about the issssues? What about, say, Medicare? Would you believe Barack Obama is being divisive and “not uplifting” and “mean to Mitt Romney” on that particular issue too?
Of course you would believe it. Because the way Barack Obama portrays Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan’s Medicare plan (above) makes it sound bad. And we are all supposed to be grateful that Mitt Romney has deigned to run, according to Ann Romney, because “he is the only one who can save America,” and because “it is his time.” So, Barack Obama, kindly cease and desist from this inelegant “running for president” thing you’ve been doing. Mittens Romney needs our full support.