so much dignity here

Romney Declares ‘FIRST!’ With Savvy, Ludicrous Medicare Ad

Oh goodie, the Very Serious Campaign About Our Series National Issues that was predicted after Mitt Romney’s selection of Paul Ryan is proceeding just as expected with this ad, in which the Romney-Ryan campaign explains to seniors that it’s Obama who guts Medicare, not the Paul Ryan-worshipping Republican party. We explained this paper-thin plan of the Romney campaign’s to “define” Paul Ryan earlier.

This is the sort of thing we expect in the adult conversation about “entitlements” that Paul Ryan, the most dignified statesman to have ever graced the stage of American politics, bestowed upon the nation by accepting Mitt Romney’s job offer.

Have you ever been so excited to destroy a politician’s career than you are right now with Paul Ryan’s, reader?

[TPM]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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161 comments

  1. SexySmurf

    In Mitt's next ad, he will showcase his long record of being "rubber" while accusing Obama of being "glue."

    1. Boojum

      "a" rubber plus "some" glue…and that was just a rumor and I heard he came through surgery just fine.

    2. zippy_w_pinhead

      someone needs to explain to the GOP base that you're not supposed to actually sniff that glue..

    1. ibwilliamsi

      I moved to North Carolina in April. This shit has been going here on non stop since then. Romney commercials run back-to-back-to-back, and they are all lies. If you try to catch the local weather, you will literally see 4 Romney ads in every commercial break, and perhaps 1 Obama ad saying that Mitt Romney's ads lie every other break. It's overwhelming. My TiVo doesn't stand a chance to keep up with it.

      1. bobbert

        "Tomorrow will be cloudy with a high chance of Romney lies in the AM, followed by several inches of lies in the afternoon. Later, it's likely to become dark, with an increasing chance of more Romney lies overnight."

      2. Negropolis

        And what is funny is that Obama is still hanging tough in NC despite all of this. Thank god for all those Yankees that keep pouring in unabated.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      And I myself, while I haven't verified this video or any of the other things published on the Internet, condemn and support this endorsed statement.

  2. SmutBoffin

    Bad Obama stuff = sans serif

    Good Romney/Ryan stuff = serifs ALL UP IN this text

    RESTORE THE SERIFS VOTE ROMNEY

        1. Incitefully_Joe

          FUN FACT: When I submitted my Sophomore paper of intent to major in Psychology, I wrote it in Comic Sans and also put it in iambic pentameter. My faculty adviser glanced at it, and said, and this is a verbatim quote:

          "I hate you so much".

    1. proudgrampa

      I always thought Omar Serif was a really good actor. Remember him in Funny Girl? He was really —

      What? Oh. Well, that's different. Never mind.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      The one right before that, with the coterie of white-haired old ladies, looks as though he's just spotted a tasty looking jugular.

      1. red_kira

        Hah! So I am not the only one who thinks he is shortlisted to star in a D.C.-based re-make of "Twilight."

    2. La_Cieca

      "Dear sweet old lady, soon you will no longer be a burden to the billionaires of this country. By which I mean, I just pulled your plug."

  3. Tundra Grifter

    So (r)Money and RAyn accuse Mr. Obama of "cutting Medicare by $700 Billion."

    When Democrats talk about decreasing government spending, the right wing nutz mock them if the "savings" are just a reduction in future growth.

    Yet now, suddenly, in the time it takes a lightening bolt to strike, that has become a genuine "cut."

    Remarkable.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Well there are actual cuts to Medicare in the ACA, not just reductions in growth. Of course they are cuts to bullshit programs like Medicare Advantage, a Bush bribe of the private sector that a) didn't reduce costs to seniors b) didn't improve services or benefits c)wasn't paid for/relied on deficit spending (ie exactly what Rmoney claims to want to cut) and d) basically proves privatization along Ryan's plans won't do shit to improve competition or achieve cost reductions because private insurers want no part of old, heavily drugged and dying people without extra payments from someone.

      1. sullivanst

        But let's all ignore some other pertinent facts, like for example that private insurers continue to be willing to offer Medicare Advantage despite the reduction in overpayments, that the rate of enrollment in Medicare Advantage plans has increased since the reductions took effect, that the biggest single saving was actually achieved by a negotiation between the Obama administration and the hospitals wherein they agreed to lower reimbursement rates, and that the other more-than-a-third of the savings are various common-sense provisions which, taken individually, I have literally never seen anyone attempt to claim are bad ideas.

        In other words, fuck Mitt Romney, hard and deep, sideways, with a rusty chainsaw.

      2. Tundra Grifter

        BB & SVT:

        Thank you for your corrections. I placed too more reliance in this:
        http://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2012/08/14/cnns-

        There is a link there to a CBO letter, but that's from March and I think things have changed a bit since then.

        It's important to get the facts out there. Particularly when I'm woofing on others for not being able to do just that.

    1. Toomush_Infer

      Now that should be the required Republican ad voucher, because I was laughing too hard at the : "I'm Mitt Robot and I approve this message", and I peed my pants. "I'm Mitt Romney and I'm from Bizarro Land" is so much more honest…..

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      And, Obama wrote the treatment of "The Golden Palace" in which the Golden Girls continue without Bea Authur. (1992-1993)

    2. Negropolis

      Also, Obama has been clandestinely putting hits on the Golden Girls. Betty White, you're next!

  4. LastGasp

    Have you ever been so excited to destroy a politician’s career than you are right now with Paul Ryan’s, reader?
    Wonkette, you just looked right through my heart… [rubs hands gleefully while cackling]

  5. MissTaken

    Under Obamacare not only will Medicare be gutted, but seniors will be forced to pay full price at Hometown Buffet.
    Paid for by Romney/Ryan 2012

    1. Negropolis

      And, he'll take your Hoverounds and give them to…to…YOUNG PEOPLE for their leisure! **gasp**

      1. just_a_head

        You know, I'd really like a Hoveround. Maybe a Jazzy. Even more reason to vote Obama! Jazzies for everyone!

        R&R want to kill Medicaid by the time I'm of Jazzy age, so i better get in on it now, anyway. The loss of my potential future Jazzy makes me AND the baby Jesus cry.

        Why does Romney hate the baby Jesus? Why?!

  6. serjjj

    The candidate who really wants to gut Medicare accusing a candidate who doesn't want to do anything of the sort.? Hello, Rove, we found your boomerang and it's all scummy!

    1. marconidarwin

      Yes, but once Ryan was picked, his record becomes relevant.

      Paul Ryan on Bailouts and Government Stimuli
      -Voted YES on TARP (2008)
      -Voted YES on Economic Stimulus HR 5140 (2008)
      -Voted YES on $15B bailout for GM and Chrysler. (Dec 2008)
      -Voted YES on $192B additional anti-recession stimulus spending. (Jul 2009)

      Paul Ryan on Entitlement Programs
      -Voted YES on limited prescription drug benefit for Medicare recipients. (Nov 2003)
      -Voted YES on providing $70 million for Section 8 Housing vouchers. (Jun 2006)
      -Voted YES on Head Start Act (2007)
      -Voted YES on extending unemployment benefits from 39 weeks to 59 weeks. (Oct 2008)

  7. MonkeyMotion

    "Also, I will end world hunger, cure cancer, provide jobs for everyone, lower gas to $1/gal, bring Jesus to Earth, and triple military spending — all while reducing your taxes to zero.

    I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve this message."

    What a fuckwad.

    1. Self-Uploader

      Don't forget kill Bin Laden — He's going to kill Bin Laden really dead this time.
      And there's saving the auto-industry retroactively because he's king of retro-activity.
      There's also going to health insurance for all. Wait a second. Strike that last one.

      1. MilwaukeeKent

        Romney is retroactive. There's that wonderful story of his first run for Governor, when it came out state law required 7 years of residence and he'd only filed state taxes for the previous five years. He retroactively filed two more years.

      1. sullivanst

        $500 billion was a lie about the first 10 years of the ACA.

        $716 billion is a new grotesque distortion based on a CBO report saying that's how much the cost of Medicare would increase over the next 10 years if you repealed the ACA today.

        The difference is in large part due to the long phase-in of the ACA, and also because of exponential growth.

    1. zippy_w_pinhead

      it's inflation- which is of course Obummer's fault, just like the weather and Julia's grocery bill

  8. PubOption

    '…strengthens the plan for the next generation'. They must define strengthen differently to the way my dictionary does.

  9. pinkocommi

    It's too bad liar-liar-Romney's pants are not literally on fire. Maybe that is the point of the magic underwear.

  10. Callyson

    And the Reeps have the gall to accuse *Democrats* of not leveling with Americans about entitlement programs…

    FFS…

  11. iburl

    Just today I was being harangued by a right winger on the blogosphere about how Ryan is Saving Medicare and Obama is destroying it. You have to admit that they have taken Orwell's lessons to heart. The wrong lessons, sure, but they have taken them to heart.

    1. Incitefully_Joe

      Well, what? Mitt Romney doesn't want Republican voters to think that Medicare covers nigras too, does he?

      Actually, that might be a way for him to sell voters on the idea of getting rid of it.

  12. PuckStopsHere

    Here's what I got out of this thing (and please don't make me watch much more of this lying horses ass.) "…And now, when you are ready for your wheelchair, Nobama is going to give you this pretty pink and blue pill instead.

  13. Come here a minute

    At least they are consistent — the government is still going to take away our Medicare.

  14. anniegetyerfun

    The Obama campaign should have been ready for this, though. I mean, with at least four different commercials for each potential veep pick.

    1. Ducksworthy

      Rmoney ( or rather Turd Blossom) outsmarted them. Now we'll never get to see the Jindal Exorcism spot. But OH well. Maybe the footage of Ryan praising atheistic hypocrite Ayn Rand will make up for it.

  15. PuckStopsHere

    Notice how R-Money sez "you" paid for it? That's because he didn't, at least not for the last ten years.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    Yes, President Obama wants to destroy Medicare by cutting the middleman out of a program the government already administers. And Mitt wants to save Medicare by slashing taxes for the rich and giving grandma a hundred dollar coupon each month for her increasingly expensive medical needs. See, it's just that easy.

    1. bikerlaureate

      "Lying is sinful, as it has always been, and there is no exempt category for so-called 'lying for the Lord.' Lying is simply outside the range of permitted or condoned conduct by Latter-day Saints-members or leaders."

      - Dallin H. Oaks, "Gospel Teachings About Lying," address to faculty, students, and alumni of BYU on September 12, 1993

  17. Ducksworthy

    This severe conservative is severely mentally ill, and a severe liar. Now comes the test of whether myriad lies spread by unlimited and undisclosed dollars can swing an election. The auguries are not pleasant. The vampire ticket may well prevail.

  18. coolhandnuke

    Just wait for the next Romney ad attacking Obama….claiming he will ban bingo as illegal gambling, move the early bird dining special to a 6 pm starting time and cite the mall-walking blue hairs for trespassing.

  19. OldWhiteLies

    No wonder Sununu was so incensed earlier. Soledad nailed this ad's missing bona fides to the studio wall before it even hit the street.

    Sununu in spasms; incredulous at being questioned. Reminds me of that cartoon: "Hey, they're lighting their arrows! Can they do that?" Warms my soshlizt librul heart.

  20. Chichikovovich

    Perhaps I'm misremembering, or running distinct things together, but didn't the Repubbies use this "Obama slashed $700 billion from Medicare" line in 2010? Wasn't that basically one of only two things they said to win the House of Representatives? Along with the slogan "Jobs, Jobs, Jobs. No really, jobs. Not more abortion restrictions and stupid pointless resolutions to repeal Obamacare and demand birth certificates for presidential candidates and blocking any measure that might improve the economy. No sir, that would be stupid and insulting. Jobs, I say!" (It may have been a bit more consise than I recall it as being.)

    I certainly hope that the Democrats have worked out a better response this time around.

    1. bobbert

      Your memory is, of course, accurate, and I certainly hope the Dems respond much more actively. But I do think there are a couple of things that may help to reduce the effectiveness of this particular Republican lie this time around.

      1. Overall turnout will be higher, and the proportion of Medicare recipients will therefore be lower.

      2. Two years have passed, and of course there hasn't been any large blanket impact on general Medicare services. Some folks who had fancy-shmancy Medicare Advantage programs may feel put-upon, and there are certainly some who will simply believe Obama is the devil (i.e., "other"); but the latter group would vote against him no matter what, and I don't think the former group is all that large.

      I am hopeful (perhaps naively so) that if there were any old farts who voted Republican in 2010 solely because of the "Obama slashed Medicare" lie, that at least some of them will ask themselves "If that's true, why haven't my benefits been affected?", and reconsider.

  21. BarackMyWorld

    This would be a good time for the news media to step in with an unbiased report that explains the two plans and how they differ in an honest factual way.

    Which is about as likely as Kat Dennings showing up at my front door and offering to blow me.

    1. TavariousChinaSmith

      No, she'll probably get to you. She was at my house last night, working her way down the block. It's just a matter of scheduling.

    1. Isyaignert

      I think they're focused on Obama's college transcripts, because you know, any fumduck can be the editor of the Harvard Law Review. You know, that diploma mill, Harvard.

  22. BlueStateLibel

    Those two funeral directors certainly got the vampire look that the kids all love down pat, don't they.

  23. sullivanst

    Mittens experiment to find out just how far you have to go those days before the MSM finally calls you a liar continues.

  24. bobbert

    I'm not going to watch it, but just from the still-shot I'll bet that the meta-message is addressed to those 55 and older: "We're not going to do anything to affect you, we're just going to fuck over other peoples' kids, so vote for us".

    I have two more months of $1200 health insurance premiums, and then I go on Medicare, so pull up that ladder. Not.

    Sometimes I get a little annoyed with the whippersnappers around this blog globally assigning malevolence to Boomers (I'll point out again that I will be among the second year's worth of Boomers to actually go on Medicare without disability).

    But the number of Boomers between ages 55 and 66 is quite large. If a significant chunk of that cohort does go all KMAG YOYO about Medicare, we will deserve all the derision you crazy kids want to heap on us.

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      I remember the joke sign in a parts store : "We Screw the Other Guy to Save You Money". But at some point we're all "Other Guys"

    2. schvitzatura

      Ryan is the first core cadre Gen Xer to rise to significant leadership role in either party. He's preparing the folks born after 1964 for American hegemonic decline with his fiscal pragmatism, right?

  25. arihaya

    it’s Obama who guts Medicare, not the Paul Ryan

    and it's Bush who found and killed Osama Bin Laden, not Obama

    FUCK THIS PEOPLE and their alternative reality

  26. randcoolcatdaddy

    Obama took money from a program you really like to help fund another program you really like that will be cheaper for everyone in the long run.

    And I want to get rid of both programs you really like.

    I'm Mitt Romney and I paid for this piece of ineffective bollocks.

  27. Toomush_Infer

    Pretty sure the required tag line should be: "I'm Mitt Romney and I'm lying to old people. Vote 2012."……

  28. Baba_NinjaCat12

    The ad failed to mention to the seniors, Obama will use seniors as source of food, called Government Meat, for the welfare recipients to eat.

  29. mosjef

    Paul Ryan is actually a hologram created by Fox News voiced by the talking boil on Wilfred Brimley's sorry ass.

  30. NorbertsRevenge

    1) I'm not usually one to leap to these kinds of conclusions, but the subliminals hit me at least like a sledgehammer, I could barely notice anything else. Watch this again and pay very close attention to what appears in black and what appears in white, and when. Especially the part with the hospital pillow, the part where Obama's blackety black Obamacare plan gives your money to blackety black people who are not you, whitey.

    2) Is it just me or is Romney on some serious drugs / sleeping pills / creepy vibe in the reading of the approval line at the end.

  31. mosjef

    They want to strengthen Medicare the same way they strengthened the defined pension, leaving most people with inadequate retirement, except Wall Street guys like Mittles and holograms like Paul Ryan.

  32. Negropolis

    You know, I roll my eyes at most of the shit that is tossed around during election season, but this Medicare thing has sent me up the wall both now and in 2010 when the Republicans had the gall to portray the Dems as the party of Medicare murder all the while one of the central parts of their platform is killing Medicare. It just blows my mind. The cyncism of it all.

  33. hippie13

    While Ludicrous may be one of New Orleans best musicians I really don't understand why Mitt would use him to speak to senior citizens about Medicare?

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