I LOVE SURPRISES  3:20 pm August 14, 2012

Donald Trump To Unleash ‘Big Surprise’ On Republican National Convention

by Jesse Taylor

That is the promise of Donald Trump, who is among the most prominent delusional psychopaths participating in the RNC this year (but certainly not the only one!). Although he did once promise us the results of his Hawaiian investigation into Barack Obama’s birth certificate, that can’t be the surprise, because we all know Obama is lying about that anyway. It would be like someone surprising you with the cake you were already eating.

Your Wonkette wants to bring together the combined brainpower of the Wonketariat to figure out what this surprise is and spoil it for all of the RNC-goers. It’s okay; they will be too bloated and tired off of four days of Chick-fil-A to even care.

 
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{ 188 comments }

Madfall August 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

No listing for 'Trump lets his rug run free?' IT'S A FIX.

Generation[redacted] August 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

He lets his rug run free on the convention floor, and then…

Release the Roomba!

yrbmegr August 14, 2012 at 4:09 pm

I wanted a listing for him announcing the new ex-wife he just bought.

Come here a minute August 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Will he confess to his attempted combover?

bumfug August 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Does it involve his "hair"?

nounverb911 August 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

It involves Gerbils.

Angry_Marmot August 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

"A merkin for every 'Merican."

Maman August 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

How will he be managing the "Big Talent"?

IonaTrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Trump will admit he was Ayn Rand's rentboy?

Slim_Pickins August 14, 2012 at 4:46 pm

That was Alan Greenspan.

kissawookiee August 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Donald, Donald… a Cleveland Steamer is only a big surprise the first time.

elviouslyqueer August 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Oooh! Ooooh! *raises hand a la the recently departed Arnold Horshack*

The Donald is going to reveal, at long last, that he really is Ann Coulter in bad man drag.

HempDogbane August 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

and that he is indeed short fingered.

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

I didn't know that Horshack had died- now I am sad…

Jukesgrrl August 14, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Same here. The guy who played Epstein also died this year. Both were in their sixties, taught acting in high schools, and died of heart attacks. I guess the take-away is "don't teach acting in high school."

viennawoods13 August 14, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Damn… oh well, I gave up teaching drama a couple of years ago, so maybe I'm safe.

Nothingisamiss August 15, 2012 at 7:24 am

Another one of us that didn't know Horshack died. I haz sad.

noodlesalad August 14, 2012 at 3:24 pm

He and Sheldon have chipped in and bought the election for Mittens, rendering the rest of the campaign unnecessary.

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Where's the surprise, though?

badseeds August 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

"Please, please leave the room if this will…if this will affect you."

Designer_Rants August 14, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Yikes. Forgot about that guy.

ChernobylSoup August 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Miss USA pageant is rigged?

Beowoof August 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I think he is going to come out and say he is dating the tranny.

KeepFnThatChicken August 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

That would make him a Democrat.

elviouslyqueer August 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Now now. Rudy may be one plug-ugly drag queen, but calling him a tranny is an insult to decent trannies everywhere.

Not_So_Much August 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Liar — nobody loves anything he does. Ever. Also.

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

If he publicly took a vow of silence, I could definitely muster some enthusiastic support.

One_who_wanders August 14, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Lots of people love it when he leaves a room.

IonaTrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:25 pm

needs moar gold leaf and chandeliers

BornInATrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Your name seems… familiar.

BornInATrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Won't they be disappointed when they find out "big surprise" is what he's named his dick.

Dr_Zoidberg August 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

No, no, he said 'big surprise' and to see his dick we'd all need magnifying glasses.

BornInATrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Since when does he embrace truth in advertising?

Beowoof August 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

He is all dick.

IonaTrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Dick in a box!

MissTaken August 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Good thing he has tiny little fingers to wrap around his tiny little dick.

SorosBot August 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Ew, I don't wanna think about Tump-dick.

Dudleydidwrong August 14, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I already know the answer to that one. His dick is named "Ayn."

Buzz Feedback August 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

WWE's Vince McMahon is his lover and they are going to be gay married in a Massachusetts factory built by Elizabeth "Hiawatha" Warren.

One_who_wanders August 14, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Coffee almost came out of my nose on this one. I regret that I have but one thumbs up for you.

OzoneTom August 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Ham radio performance art?

johnnyzhivago August 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Here it is:

What it's going to be is a taped segment, with an Obama look a like sitting in his "boardroom" and Trump is going to fire him.

Cue the gaffaws and laughs and racist epitaphs from the crowd as they collectively start choking on their chicken.

Trump briefly walks on stage for about 30 seconds of cheers and then is guided off, under strict orders not to say anything or he won't be paid for his appearance.

IonaTrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Bingo!

johnnyzhivago August 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Right, it's being taped today, so there he goes, his stupid surprise is ruined!

fuflans August 14, 2012 at 4:14 pm

that is one surprise i am very happy to have ruined.

though it's not like i'm going to be watching that crap anyway.

MissTaken August 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Ah hell, that will be it. Ugh.

Ruhe August 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

That seems totally possible to me.

johnnyzhivago August 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

And by the way, because of the racial overtones it will go over like a lead balloon in most of the country and instead of talking about Romney, everyone will talk about what a jackass Trump is (although he won't care, his job is getting publicity, not helping Romney). GOP officials will cringe, wondering why they let this happen.

anniegetyerfun August 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

But Romney won't be able to distance himself from the comments, simply because he isn't good at disowning anything that he didn't say himself.

emmelemm August 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Sounds about right.

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 4:04 pm

The problem is that their Obama look-alike is Asian, so nobody will get the joke.

timbo71351 August 14, 2012 at 4:10 pm

God, that sounds awful and something only a giant racist asshole would find funny.

So I'm sure that's what will happen.

BornInATrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Maybe he'll finally show everyone his matching merkin.

Goonemeritus August 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

He’s cashing out and moving to France where they appreciate is genius. We won’t have Donald to kick around anymore!

johnnyzhivago August 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

The Donald to you!

StarsUponThars August 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"Those of you in the first row may want to back up about six inches."

Callyson August 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Today I am working on my 'big surprise' for the @RNC convention. Everyone will love it.

He's going to show his real hair?

KeepFnThatChicken August 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Probably declaring his running mate to be Sarah Palin.

Fare la Volpe August 14, 2012 at 4:10 pm

For the office of President of Television!

IncenseDebate August 14, 2012 at 3:28 pm

If it's like the surprise in the Crying Game then keep it in your pants, Donald.

MissTaken August 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

The launch of Trump Douche?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I thought that was his father's big surprise when he got Trump's mother knocked up.

IonaTrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Trump wart remover

SorosBot August 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Isn't Trump Douche redundant?

SayItWithWookies August 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

He's not invited but he's gonna show up and blather like a dumbass motherfucker anyway because he's convinced himself that the GOP would benefit from his wisdom and experience?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Strangely enough, Sarah Palin is doing the same thing.

BloviateMe August 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

He's going to replace the confetti/ballon drop with poor people.

anniegetyerfun August 14, 2012 at 4:03 pm

HA! This one is my favorite.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 14, 2012 at 3:29 pm

He's going to tell us what species that thing on his head is?

Fare la Volpe August 14, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Yeti sperm.

LibertyLover August 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

"Everybody stand back while I whip this thing out."

Fare la Volpe August 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm

"Ya gotta get close to see it."

sewollef August 14, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Look, I love surprises like the best of 'em, but dear lord, "Everyone will love it."

Really, Donnie? Are you sure?

Weenus299 August 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Donald is Kenyan.

Extemporanus August 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm
emmelemm August 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

That's AH-DORABLE!

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a mass murder/suicide. Yeah, I said it.

KeepFnThatChicken August 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Don't skullfuck anyone, and it'll be okay.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I once released my "big surprise" at a park, and ended up spending 48 hours in jail.

emmelemm August 14, 2012 at 3:56 pm

That sex offender registry's a bitch, ain't it?

Fare la Volpe August 14, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Honestly, it's the violent prison rape I could do without.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I look at it as a way to meet new and interesting people with a common background. And Priest.

Negropolis August 15, 2012 at 2:30 am

Anderson Cooper? Oh, you said a "surprise."

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

You know who else released a big surprise on the world?

GlowneyHouse August 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Harry Truman?

Steverino247 August 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Trinity Site Libel!!!!

Beowoof August 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Ron Jeremy

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

We would have also accepted Harry Reams.

Beowoof August 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

How about John Holmes or this guy

LibertyLover August 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Sarah Palin?

SayItWithWookies August 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Aaron Sorkin?

SorosBot August 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

The makers of The Crying Game?

IonaTrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm
fartknocker August 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

George Bush wearing a cod piece and military flight suit on a aircraft carrier with a sign stating "Mission Accomplished?"

HistoriCat August 14, 2012 at 5:16 pm

George Lucas in The Empire Strikes Back?

grandinquisitor August 14, 2012 at 9:30 pm

That guy who made the Kony video?

EatsBabyDingos August 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Unless it involves Donald sticking his head up a blue whale's ass, I do not care.

finallyhappy August 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm

What did a Whale ever do to you to wish this? Now if Trump dives into the ocean with killer whales- ok!

SmutBoffin August 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

His transformation into his true form: that of a giant Slor!

GhostBuggy August 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Many Kenyans and Socialist Nazis knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of Trump that day, I can tell you, also.

belmontreport August 14, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Come on, we all know that he's just going to announce the newest season of The Apprentice.

Beowoof August 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

And with it, he will continue to get paid so he has something to live on.

outragedcitizen August 15, 2012 at 11:45 am

Wait you mean that after the election he will announce that win or lose, RMoney and Ryan will join Sarah, Cheney, Dubya, Michelle Bachmann and Santorum as then new cast of "The Political Apprentice"?

belmontreport August 15, 2012 at 11:48 am

A girl can dream, right?

ElPinche August 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Expose his hairy back mutant Kunto as the mastermind of his career as a con artist.

Living in Joy August 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

He'll finally give his response to Obama's comments during the Correspondent's Dinner (aka Washington lovefest).

smashedinhat August 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Trumps big surprise is that all the birds sucked into the massive engines of his Boeing 757 are used as mulch for the fairways of his Scottish golf course, only because he ran out of little children mulch, being hard to come by with the potato famine and all.

Ayn_Ryan August 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I can only assume that it involves the Joker's museum death gas from Tim Burton's "Batman" and gas masks for all the classy broads.

el_donaldo August 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Not sure what it is, but anything big that my namesake could deliver would only reveal the contemporary GOP to be a complete and utter joke of a party – so no surprise at all.

Callyson August 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Today I am working on my 'big surprise' for the @RNC convention. Everyone will love it.

Oh, never mind the hair–please let the big surprise be a convention floor challenge to Mittens. He's right–everyone *would* love that…

kittensdontlie August 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

'Bama and Biden are not only running mates, their soul mates…yea, gay married.

AddHomonym August 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

He's the Batman?

ChillBill August 14, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Batshit.

mr bojangles August 15, 2012 at 10:51 am

Yes, i m ironman!

EatsBabyDingos August 14, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Donald Trump is proof God exists and she is spiteful.

MittBorg August 14, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Y'all just ain't got no sense of sportingness. Only 11% voting for pregnant? C'MON, that would be the biggest surprise of all!

HistoriCat August 14, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Some thoughts are simply too terrible to contemplate.

rocktonsam August 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I'm surprised Mittens invited that asshole to the convention anyway.

TheGyrus August 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

You are surprised an asshole invited an asshole to an asshole convention?

Ruhe August 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

When Freud was describing the typical indicators of transference didn't he specifically mention that the patient might begin talking about a "present, a surprise" that he was preparing for the therapist? Is it possible that the Donald thinks we have some sort of personal relationship with him?

Estproph August 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

He's going to jump out of a cake wearing spinners and a g-string.

ElPinche August 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

The real surprise will be millions of viewers vomiting in unison.

Dudleydidwrong August 14, 2012 at 4:37 pm

"The real surprise will be millions of all thirty-seven viewers vomiting in unison." Fixed.

ElPinche August 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Buttsekks!!!
(repeated comment from earlier)

TheGyrus August 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Free hookers on The Donald's tab!

emmelemm August 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Surprise: They're dead!

CheeseBro69 August 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

20 bucks says its his mangina

mrblifil August 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Like everyone else he's tried to "surprise" we will all conclude it's not big at all.

GhostBuggy August 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Trump will appear on stage in a classic devil costume; drink a concoction of gasoline, nitroglycerin, gunpowder and uranium 238; and then explode. It's a doozy of a trick, but he can only do it once!

Monsieur_Grumpe August 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Big surprise huh. Well, in that case, it's not his wang.

JCE1985 August 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Is it going to be that he's the biggest man in the world? And he's covered in gold?

CountryClubJihadi August 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Well, that kind of talk worked out really well for Andrew Breitbart.

majicunderwear August 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Trump's going to be leaving the equivalent of a giant Cleveland Steamer on Romney's chest in front of the the assembled convention. Quelle surprise!!

SorosBot August 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

After their fall appearances on Dancing with the "Stars" and "Stars" Earn Stripes, professional reality famewhores Todd and Bristol Palin will be on the next "Celebrity" Apprentice?

insidebeltway August 14, 2012 at 6:02 pm

This actually seems likely.

LibertyLover August 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Great. He's probably found Capone's vault.

IonaTrailer August 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Every titty bar in Tampa is rejoicing over the RNC

Generation[redacted] August 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Shut the fuck up, Donnie. You're out of your element.

viennawoods13 August 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

But the rug really ties the…. no, that rug of his doesn't tie anything together, does it.

widestanceromance August 14, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I just saw Elton John's bare-naked ass at dlisted, so do not have the stomach for this one, guys.

BlueStateLibel August 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

His amazing new Web site, Shortfingeredvulgarity.com, where you can purchase gaudy chandeliers, goldplated bathroom fixtures, $50 steaks, etc.

StealthMuslin August 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

"Look at me, Damien! It's all for you!" (steps off the roof)

Negropolis August 15, 2012 at 2:32 am

ROTFLMAO!!!

Toomush_Infer August 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

He's going Commando!….

iburl August 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

The surprise:

The Donald is not real, he is a creation of "The Yes Men." An elaborate prank to show the avarice, racism and rank stupidity of the "elites" we all serve.

GOTCHA!

Ayn_Ryan August 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Three more guesses:

1. It really was a mandate all along!
2. A tattoo over his heart that says "Breitbart is here".
3. He's spent all of his fortune reanimating the corpse of Andrew Breitbart into an ungodly monster that throws little girls into lakes and blames it on the Occupy movement.

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

"Domestic snake oil will reduce our dependency on foreign imports!"

smitallica August 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

this tweet is the rich grown-up douche laughing-stock equivalent of a toddler's "Mommy! Mommy! Watch me dive! MOMMY! YOU'RE NOT WATCHING!! WATCH ME!!!"

randcoolcatdaddy August 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Trump always impressed me as the kind of guy who would say "I've got a surprise for ya!" followed by the phrase, "Pull my finger."

Slim_Pickins August 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

He's going to fire Mitt and Paul are run for both offices, himself. Then he'll have a Presidential TV show "Celebrity VEEP" to fill the vacancy.

johnnyzhivago August 14, 2012 at 3:56 pm
Limeylizzie August 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

MrLimeylizzie just suggested, over tuna and Kale salad on the deck, that he will paint an elephant gold and have it bedazzled in the parking lot and then it will die. That is all.

emmelemm August 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm

No arugula?

Limeylizzie August 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

No, but I am drinking the world's nelliest sparkling water “Cascade Ice, Organic Lemon Zest Flavour”, hey come on I'm in Hollywood after all!

Extemporanus August 14, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Way to blow Banksy's cover, MrLimeylizzie…

beezie687 August 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

He will be captured by the Scooby gang, and they will at long last rip that redonkulous wig off of his head. He would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

fartknocker August 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

He's going to endorse Ron Paul?

Mittens Howell, III August 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Cleaning up Trumps fool's-gold encrusted turd from the stage oughta create a few jobs.

Poindexter718 August 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Da Donald's gonna leave a deuce on the dais right before Anne Romney speaks.

barto August 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm

He's going to STFU! Audience will be absolutely stunned!

Jukesgrrl August 14, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Only in my dreams.

Eve8Apples August 14, 2012 at 4:06 pm

"Everyone will love it."

Handing out free autographed pictures of himself, free autographed DVDs of his crappy show and free autographed books he claimed he authored because only Donald thinks everyone loves Donald.

MonkeyMotion August 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

He's crowning himself King (a la Napoleon), so run along now Mittens!

marconidarwin August 14, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Wait, he said Big Surprise! This can only mean that he is going to gay marry Herman Cain or Rick Santorum.

An_Outhouse August 14, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Will Guinness Book of World Records be there to document Donald's giant dump?

fuflans August 14, 2012 at 4:32 pm

god almighty i would be so embarrassed to claim any affiliation with this party. i mean seriously, trump, bachmann, perry, newt gingrich, herman cain, paul pere et fils, walsh, barton, issa, king, gohmert, brewer, joe the plumber, our lady of grifting, that one witch, the entire states of FL, MS and TX and etc.

the closest thing we have is what? a couple of hetero sex scandals, john kerry on a boat, a renewable energy scandal and dennis kucinich.

how is this even a contest?

bibliotequetress August 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm

He is secretly on David Axelrod's payroll?

WhatTheHeck August 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

In the voting box, there was not a “Don’t Know” button.
I want to be a “Don’t Know/Don’t Care” respondent to anything Donald.

bibliotequetress August 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Donald Trump can only do eight things that "everyone will love." Four involve his hair. One involves supergluing himself to a chair and giving his ex-wives stun guns. Another includes Donald making up with all the Jersey carpenters screwed by Trump Inc declaring bankruptcy by giving them free Miss Universe also-rans as au pairs. The last two are too secret to mention…

gurukalehuru August 14, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Pull my finger!

DahBoner August 14, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Will it be HUGE?

BZ1 August 14, 2012 at 5:30 pm

The Donald will reveal … (oh, WTF, who cares)

DemonicRage August 14, 2012 at 5:35 pm

He's going to repeat his own candid confession that he finds his own daughter so hot that he'd do her, himself. Family values!

Guppy August 14, 2012 at 5:54 pm

You ask us about what kind of surprise to expect, and you don't have an option for "ass-fucking?"

insidebeltway August 14, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Famiglia pizza for all. (At a slightly discounted price).

AncienReggie August 14, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Trumpo could really surprise everybody by not being a total putz. Of course then we'd know he hired a stand-in.

labman57 August 14, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Is he going to feed the ferret living on his head?

Designer_Rants August 14, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Glitterbomb?

Scarletyoshi August 14, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Surprise, Surprise, right in our eyes.

Misty Malarky August 14, 2012 at 8:04 pm

A Meatloaf/Gary Busey ticket for 2016?

valgal2342 August 14, 2012 at 8:29 pm

"Everyone will love it"….we always do Donald, we always do.

ttommyunger August 14, 2012 at 9:37 pm

…and it will be HUGE! Much like the dump I took this morning, but not as pleasing to the eye.

Kidneys4Sale August 14, 2012 at 10:14 pm

I got 50 bucks on magnetic, gold plate, cz encrusted, Obama nose bones. It's the only thing classless enough to make sense.

Negropolis August 15, 2012 at 2:19 am

Oh god, you reminded me on the ending to Lost, which left me angry and in tears and thankful and confused.

Negropolis August 15, 2012 at 2:25 am

The surprise is that he will fire Romney for the nomination and give it to Omarosa.

hippie13 August 15, 2012 at 7:08 am

Why am I picturing the Jack Donehy (30 Rock) non 4th of July surprise Fireworks special/terrorist attack?

billy_reuben August 15, 2012 at 7:29 am

He's going to do an R. Budd Dwyer impression?

elgin_pelican August 15, 2012 at 10:13 am

A stunning NEW LINE of evening wear! It's true!

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