The Romney Campaign just cannot believe it this time, and you will not either. You will be so embarrassed at the shameful tactics of your side, and will agree completely with the campaign’s demand for an apology. You guys, Joe Biden said “chains.”

Is Joe Biden a Marxist? Duh. Is he dog-whistling about slavery? Sure, why not. Is he vice-history’s greatest monster, who does nothing all day but make fun of people’s dead dads? OF COURSE HE IS, DON’T BE RIDICULOSE.

“After weeks of slanderous and baseless accusations leveled against Governor Romney, the Obama Campaign has reached a new low,” press secretary Andrea Saul said in a statement. “The comments made by the Vice President of the United States are not acceptable in our political discourse and demonstrate yet again that the Obama Campaign will say and do anything to win this election. President Obama should tell the American people whether he agrees with Joe Biden’s comments.”

Anyhoo, let us add “chains” to the list of things Joe Biden is not allowed to say, like so:

Tax returns.
Business experience.
Dads, being or having.
The four-year span when they murdered those Seattle hookers just to watch them die.

What will be next? Probably “Romney,” “Ryan,” and “America.”


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  • Beowoof

    Oh no bringing up facts about the republican'ts can't be allowed. If the public were to figure out what giant douche bags they are they might not vote for them.

  • ChernobylSoup

    My Food Stamp President should apologize right now.

  • elviouslyqueer


  • elviouslyqueer


  • elviouslyqueer


    • EatsBabyDingos

      "No, but thanks for thinking about me" Callista.

  • SmutBoffin



  • Heh. They are SUCH poor losers. And they're about to get even poorer and more loser-y.

  • tbogg

    Oh oh. You're killing hookers again, Rebecca. Amadi is totally going to double black-list you now.

    • commiegirl99

      What I feel bad about is two dead hooker jokes in one morning is just plain lazy. :(

      • Jus_Wonderin

        It's really okay. There are times when I see someone that seems lazy and then I discover they are a dead hooker. I usually poke them to make sure, though.

  • Callyson

    Oh, for fuck's sake.

  • If Obama doesn't give up RIGHT NOW Romney is going to cry!

    • widestanceromance

      "Oil can, oil can. . ."

    • el_donaldo

      Romney: "Ow. Quit it. Ow. Quit it. Ow. Quit it. Ow. Quit it. Ow. Quit it. Ow. Quit it."

    • I'm surprised Andrea Saul didn't release a statement extolling the benefits of Massachusetts' Chains Cutting services, courtesy of RomneyCare.

  • ChernobylSoup

    After weeks of slanderous and baseless accusations leveled against Governor Romney, the Obama Campaign has reached a new low,”

    Sweetheart, you don't know low yet. Obama/Biden haven't even sharpened their shivs.

    • I like that Nobama guy and his Amtrak sidekick, but honestly I don't think there is a scale for measuring how low they are willing to go in this clusterfuck.

    • freakishlywrong

      "You Lie!"

    • finallyhappy

      yeah, how about talking about Ryan's family money – no more bullshit about how he brought himself up poor

  • When is Willard gonna cut the chains on those tax returns?

  • you guys – we can talk about about "chains," but only in our quiet cells.

    • Zepster

      Does that cost extra?

      • chicken_thief

        Come on, Todd – like you don't know …..

  • Beowoof

    Damn all that talking facts and stuff, the reality of the republican plan is being hid by the RR team. ( And I do mean the railroad team as they are going to railroad the shit out of us).

  • LastGasp

    So would it be OK for Biden to sing Aretha Franklin's "Chain Of Fools"?

    For five long years I thought you were my man /
    But I found out I'm just a link in your chain

    • Geminisunmars

      I've been dancing around the room, shaking the tuchas and singing "Ch — ch — chain" since I read this post. At least in my mind I have.

    • Toomush_Infer

      "Chains! My baby's got me locked up in chains…!"

  • CleverSobriquet

    You got me where you want me
    I ain't nothin' but your fool
    Ya treated me mean
    Oh you treated me cruel

    Chain, chain, chain
    (Chain, chain, chain)
    Chain of fools

    • Beowoof

      Oh I am sure they don't want that being sung. Too clearly spells out their plan for the 99%.

  • bumfug

    Biden later explained, "…they ain't the kind that you can see
    Whoa, it's chains of love got a hold on me, yeah."

    • IonaTrailer

      All my handsome black President has to do is sing a few bars and his ratings will jump.
      Just like my heart….

  • Trannysurprise


    • Geminisunmars

      You beat me. And it felt goooood

  • memzilla

    I'd say this is a pretty good indicator of what happened to L'il Mittens when he got beat up in elementary school, "WAAAAAHHHHH, NO FAIR YOU GUYS." (*snrfle*) (*mewl*) (*whimper*).

    • Toomush_Infer

      I thought he was the beater-upperer….but they probably didn't have any blah folks in his school….

  • Romney never even read those vetting reports on Ryan – the only reason he picked him was because he figured he was just the right height.

    • emmelemm

      And dreamy, dreamy handsome.

      • chicken_thief

        If by "dreamy, dreamy handsome" you mean "has the eyes of a raving fucking lunatic axe murderer".

        • widestanceromance

          I'm with you on this. I just don't get it.

          • Geminisunmars

            You probably didn't think SP was MILF, or GILF material either. Clearly there is something wrong with us.

          • widestanceromance

            I never muttered through gritted teeth or shouted the "c" word as much as I did during the 2008 election, so you are correct.

          • proudgrampa

            Actually, I did think she was kinda MILF or GILF, as long as she kept her mouth shut.

        • emmelemm

          I'm just sayin' what's in Romney's heart (not mine).

          Robot ♥ human sociopath.

          • widestanceromance

            I know sarcasm when I see it, el. I saw right through you.

      • Handsome? He looks like Eddie Munster!

  • GhostBuggy

    Ha ha, Jesus Christ. This is their plan, isn't it? There's all this stuff out there in the media about Ol' Handsome Joe Biden being a walking gaffe, so they think they're going to capitalize on that. That's it. That's what they've got.

    • and as i said on an earlier thread, you don't spend over 30 years in the senate without acquiring some debating skills.

      well, unless you're rand paul.

      • Geminisunmars

        I didn't know Rand's been a senator for 30 years. Time sure flies, whether you are having fun or not.

        • HistoriCat

          fuflans has started drifting in time again. Someone give the temporal stabilizer a good whack.

          • i came back specifically to warn you that rand paul is never going away and he doesn't get any better.

          • HistoriCat

            That's a warning? I thought it was a reason to commit suicide.

            You could at least slip us a few winning lottery numbers.

      • GhostBuggy

        All I know is I can't wait until the debates (assuming Romney/Ryan even go to them, and not refuse like I suspect they'll threaten). Obama and Biden are going to drink these nerds' milkshakes.

        • (really? you think they'll bail?)

          i think ryan may be ok-ish. he's been in congress for what? 14 years? he's not a novice like palin.

          romney is such a wild card. he had just terrible primary debates but also some better ones. i just hope john kerry has bamz well prepared.

          • GhostBuggy

            No, I think they'll debate, it would be suicide not to. But I think they'll make a huge stink about the rules, decorum and related nonsense beforehand. They're doing that now, and we're still just at the TV commercial phase.

            Yeah, Ryan's not a dummy, but he's kind of got the opposite problem. He's got a horrible record of saying scary things that will piss off the olds. I think he'll hold his own against Biden, but only just. And Romney did OK in some primary debates, but look at the people he was debating. Making Gingrich and Santorum look like clowns isn't a great achievement.

            It's funny because he's got the same problem McCain had, and all Republican nominees will continue to have in the future. He was once a comparatively moderate Republican who thinks he has to veer far right to get any votes.

  • UnholyMoses


    (ADDING: Yeah, I know. I suck at Twitter.)

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Maybe, but I want that on a t-shirt.

    • proudgrampa

      I was just thinking the same thing this morning.

  • chicken_thief

    If Joe starts calling Mitt by his given first name I bet they add "rat" to the list.

    • widestanceromance

      And you know what the rats ultimately did to Willard, right?

  • shavian

    Just for the record, Biden's available for birthdays and graduations too.

  • Ryan and his wife are in a mad dash to change their 4 kids names from Ayn, Rand, Atlas and Fountainhead to something less innocuous.

    • Geminisunmars

      They've selected Galt-1, Galt-2, and Galt-3.

    • IonaTrailer

      Ryan is Romney's Roark.

    • rmjagg

      to pope , bishop , priest and nun ….

  • Beowoof

    Can we mention the chains that Mittens and Ryan are forging during their lives will be long and heavy.

    • You mean the chains they are making link by link and yard by yard?

    • Toomush_Infer

      Oh, bah humbug…

  • StealthMuslin

    I have another C-word for the Romney camp.

    • Geminisunmars


    • bikerlaureate

      Craven ?

      • sewollef


  • Simon Legree weeps.

  • freakishlywrong

    Fuck me. Where is my fucking time machine?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Also not allowed for Biden: asking voters directly or indirectly to vote Obama/Biden. "This is clearly inappropriate and beneath the level of discourse," explained Rmoney spokesman Charles Duckwad III.

    • freakishlywrong

      "It lacks leadership and is UN-presidential"

  • SexySmurf

    Sticks and stones make break my bones but chains and whips excite me.

  • mrpuma2u

    Willard and the chosen Kock-sucker errand boy are already making me want to vomit.
    BTW Ryan is a big government teat sucker from way back, his family made a lot of money with DOT highway contracts.

    • Sivart_R1

      So Ryan's family really did build that (the infrastructure, that is…)

      • HogeyeGrex

        Nah. The poor schlubs they hired for chicken feed built that. Ryan's family just skimmed a bunch of dough off the top.

    • finallyhappy

      yeah, the gov't built that- not his family. Lying little punk

  • fartknocker

    Boo fucking hoo Mittens. Joe Biden is fucking awesome and he's absolutely correct.

  • neiltheblaze

    Every day I want to kick Mitt Romney in the balls just to see if he'd feel anything.

    • no_gravity

      There's taint nuttin there.

    • SmutBoffin

      Haha, robots do not have yarbles! Romney does have a sensitive I/O port in the same location, though. Many exposed pins and whatnot.

      • neiltheblaze

        If that's true how did he get all those Stepford sons?

        • widestanceromance

          You'll have to ask Tyrell.

          • emmelemm

            More human than human is our motto.

        • nmmagyar

          The had a posse of Messican gardeners, maybe Ann is a bean queen?

    • rmjagg

      kick him in the anal beads – he'd have something he could feel …

  • Estproph

    Next banned words: "it", and "the".

    • IonaTrailer

      "Depends on what the meaning of 'is' is…"

      Love that quote. Hilary: "He's a tough dog to keep on the porch."

      • glasspusher

        No, not "is"! You wouldn't get very far in life not using "is"!


    • lunchbox360

      Next: "Joe Biden can not go outside"!

  • Goonemeritus

    I’m just trying to figure out how Wall Street managed to commit all of those Shenanigans if we have had them on a chain this whole time.

  • anniegetyerfun

    I'm starting to find Joe kind of sexy.

    • Me, too. Do they still have those "sleeping" cabins on trains?

    • ColHeightsChic


      • anniegetyerfun

        I'm not really into white dudes.

  • I'm looking forward to hearing more substantive stuff on Ryan, like what songs he's downloaded into his iPod, what kind of underwear he wears and his favorite sports teams.

    • SmutBoffin

      What are "The Creeps (I Wanna Give You)", Ayn Rand Underoos*, and THE PACK, Alex?

      *Do they still make these?

      • foxpuppet

        Ayn Rand underoos might not give the kids nightmares, but they sure would give the parents restless nights…

    • PsycWench

      Which one of the Beatles is his fave, whether he likes Miley's new haircut…

    • widestanceromance

      Team RPats or Stewart?

      • emmelemm

        That's the new Team Edward/Team Jacob, I guess?

  • I'm loving Joe more every day.

  • isn't andrea saul the same one who said if you don't want to die you should get romney's MA health insurance?

    the fuck would you listen to andrea saul?

  • mavenmaven

    For a bunch of so called "libertarians", they sure are expending a lot of effort trying to control everyone's speech.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Joe, before you get into more trouble, let me just advise you not to use the word “asshole” in conjunction with the word “republican.” Someone might get his feelings hurt.

    • NellCote71

      Eh, redundant anyway.

  • slithytoves

    Jesus Christ, are these six year olds running this campaign?

    • HogeyeGrex

      No. They can't possibly be older than four.

    • rmjagg

      no , just mormons

  • foxpuppet

    But wait- Handsome Joe of Scranton, PA said "y'all"? I has a confused…

  • PhilippePetain

    Man, being a pussy just isn't a good way to win over the American public. Seriously, if this is how they're going to respond to everything, they're going down.

  • mavenmaven

    The Romney/Ryan team doesn't want to return us to chains, only to the sweatshops.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Yeah, but then they'll chain the fire doors shut, a la Triangle Shirtwaist.


  • man damn these people are little girley men.

    • chicken_thief

      Ann Coulter has bigger balls than Rmoney and Ryan put together. But we knew that.

  • If only he Could Hie To Kolob

    • "There is no end to virtue; There is no end to might;
      There are no taxes to pay if you do the returns right."

  • Steverino247

    OK, what do Republican zombies eat? Chaiinnsss.

  • MacRaith

    Don't forget, any mention of Romney's Mormon faith is taboo also. And naturally Biden cannot be allowed to point out that both he and Ryan are Catholic – that's just beyond outrageous.

  • gullywompr

    Had Joe lived in Massachusetts when Romney was governor, he would have had all the chains he needed.

  • foxpuppet

    And Obama has been banned from using 'I' or 'me', so must henceforth use only the royal we…

  • PuckStopsHere

    I'd listen to the R-Money, people, people. When they talk about "a new low," they know what they are talking about. They have since Saturday morning.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Hope & Chains.

  • el_donaldo

    But leather, rope, whips, and gimp masks, that's still O.K.? Double-dildoed wetsuit? O.K.?

    • rmjagg

      of course .

  • PsycWench

    Biden should agree if it means we never hear from Chain-y again.

    Worked better in my mind than in print, sorry.

    • HistoriCat

      That's usually what I end up thinking on my jokes. Yours isn't that bad- really!

  • viennawoods13

    Umm… these people DO understand what goes on during campaigns, don't they?

    • NellCote71

      Apparently not. Beginning with the cock-up of a decommissioned warship. Jon Stewart had a go at their having to clop down an endless number of stairs.

    • Chichikovovich

      Just wait til Obama says "fuddle duddle".

      • foxpuppet

        THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS!!!1!

      • emmelemm

        Well fiddle dee dee.

      • "Paul Ryan is a Flibbertigibbet!"

        • I thought he was a Sniveling Little Rat-Faced Git.

  • widestanceromance

    How does the R&R team feel about "sloppy blow job"?

    • rmjagg

      they can't take what they dish out

    • glamourdammerung

      How does the R&R team feel about "sloppy blow job"?

      Mostly unhappy about not being able to get the taste out of their mouths.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    If this has her knickers in a wad, Andrea Saul is going to totally lose her shit when the Stericyle ads start running–can't wait! (Google 'Bain' and 'aborted fetuses'–fun stuff.)

    • widestanceromance

      There damn well better be fetuses crying in dumpsters in those ads.

    • bikerlaureate

      Can she really think this pearl-clutching plays with anyone other than the crazy 27% ?

    • PubOption

      I read that as 'lose her shirt'. I must need to see moar boobiez.

  • PsycWench

    This 50 Shades of Grey thing is going too far.

    • foxpuppet

      And the R/R campaign has banned all the safety words…

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    He mean to say "slave wage bondage."

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Can he still say "fuck"?

    • chicken_thief

      That would be a big fucking deal.

  • In the VP debates Biden should have to wear a shock collar and whenever Ryan believes Biden is criticizing real americans, like Ayn Rand, "Joe" the "Plumber", Mitt Romney or Koch Bros., or discussing unfair subjects like plutocracy or tax returns he will get a mild electric shock. That way he will learn what real Americans are allowed and not allowed to discuss. That's only fair since Obamacare turned us into the USSR.

    • rmjagg

      ryan might promise one a ' mild ' electric shock , but does one trust him ?

      • 20,000 volts over 20 years.

  • ElPinche

    Original transcript:
    Handsome Joe: "Fuck that slave-owning honkey lips Romney. "

  • IncenseDebate

    You can't muzzle the Biden so don't even try. He'll put you in a headlock and give you a noogie, ya weenie!

  • foxpuppet

    Meanwhile, lefty linguist, Lakoff is still trying to warn us about words, also, too:

  • chicken_thief

    To save Team Miffed some future pantie waddedness, please also add:

    Draft Deferments, Viet Nam era
    effective tax rates
    garage elevators
    auto accidents, France
    and GM

    • Geminisunmars

      You forgot:

      • emmelemm


        • foxpuppet


      • Geminisunmars

        trees (of any height)

  • Troglodeity


  • But Biden can still say that Romney is a skullfucking retard, right?

    • chicken_thief

      Biden can, but I'm surprised you got past the site administrators.

    • ChessieNefercat

      God, I hope so.

  • That's right. It's unacceptable that Biden used the word "chains". That's Allen West's word (for African-American liberals)

  • chicken_thief

    Can you imagine the list if Romney had picked Santorum for the veep spot?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Brown would be on that list, I bet?

    • widestanceromance

      Damn, I just read that as wet spot.

  • MissTaken

    We used to talk about the weather
    Make it last together
    Days would last forever

    Now we can't even talk about Chains of Love.

  • IonaTrailer

    Dan Savage needs to Santorum Ryan.

  • kittensdontlie

    Well, screw them, we can send as many chains(or email chain letters as the R-tards call them) as we want! My first will expose Ryan's secret marriage to Ayn Rand.

    • rmjagg

      he married her before or after she finally died ?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Biden: "What ya gonna do Mitt? Hold me down and cut my hair??"

  • JustPixelz

    Rhetoric the Repubicans find acceptable:

    "Obama lies, freedom dies" — Sarah Palin about Obamacare. Chains for everyone!

    "Obama has blood on his hands" — Reince Preibus about adjustments to the reimbursement schedules for Medicare. But now we can say the same thing about food stampt cuts ("Ryan has blood on his hands") or no-exemption abortion laws ("Ryan has blood on his hands") or needless war with Iraq ("Dubya has blood on his hands").

    "There’s only one president that I know of in history that robbed Medicare … " Mitt Romney describing a democratically enacted law.

    • rmjagg

      !"There’s only one president that I know of in history that robbed Medicare … " … he's projecting into the future , imagining him as that self-same president .

  • Chichikovovich

    I mean, even George W loved him those Chains of Love

    [Take it away, Blackie and the Rodeo Kings]

  • James Michael Curley

    Aretha, tone down the hat a little.
    Chain chain chain,
    Chain of fools.

  • MonkeyMotion

    Demand an apology? For THAT?!

    Wow, the complete and utter wussification of the GOP is underway…

    (Double down, Joe!)

  • SenileAgitation

    Well they have a point. First Joe's telling a family-style story and then he out of nowhere starts mixing in politics and Wall Street and then he says banks will put "y'all" (= black people) "back in chains" (= slave times, or slippery roads in New Hampshire), and I thought it was pretty offensive/ insensitive and deserving of apologies from someone who should know how sensitive black people are since he works for one (duh!) and stop saying "y'all". How low can Joe go? He's the like limbo king of language.

    • Well let's assume that's what he was "really" saying. What do you call tempting black people with loans they really can't afford so that you can make money in highly questionable insurance schemes, leaving them with underwater mortgages and neighborhoods full of abandoned houses? The Emancipation Proclamation?

  • widestanceromance



  • I shot a hooker in Seattle…just to watch her die…

  • SwanSwanH

    2 Chainz likes this meme.

  • Sacanagem

    I'm starting to think that a self-imposed news blackout until November might not be such a bad idea.

  • i had to rewatch this again just because i do love me some gaffey joe.

    thanks mom! keep em coming!

  • bikerlaureate

    …and demonstrate yet again that the Obama Campaign will say and do anything to win this election.

    That just reeks of Rove's clammy tendrils.

    I'd shout "projection!" again, but the difference seems to be that the Rmoney gets all wounded when there's even a whiff of truth in what's been said.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Chains? Like Staples, Domino's, and Godfather's Pizza?

  • Tundra Grifter

    For a good five years we'd had to listen to every possible lie about Mr. Obama – he wasn't born here, he's different, he's foreign, he's a Muslin, he hates American and successful people, he doesn't like yellow mustard, he can't throw a baseball, he's checking out babes from South America, he pal'd around with terrorists, he's a socialist/Marxist/communist, until thinking people are ready to throw up.

    But now there's going to be an election and we're in the middle of a campaign so all of a sudden the Republicans discover civility and need for polite discourse.

    Yeh, right…

    • And don't forget the quiet rooms. Where were they when we had to listen to Palin and Coulter for three years?

  • ChessieNefercat

    I want to see Handsome Old Joe Biden do a video ad set to "Chain of Fools", preferably with John Travolta and the Oh So 80s backup dancers from "Michael" dancing along in the background.

    • rmjagg

      or willard , ryan , rove and bachmann ( marcus ) doing it , wearing glitter thongs ….

  • Limeylizzie

    I love Handsome Joe and would trust him with my life, Mitten's not so much.

    • commiegirl99

      I completely agree.

      • Limeylizzie

        Have you read his autobiography? I wept buckets during the part where his first wife dies.

  • You know, I have to admit, it's possible Biden was using a racial code word.

    Mitt Romney's campaign and surrogates would never stoop so low as to use racial code against that foreign, un-American, socialist, Kenyan, Welfare-check-writing, mau-mau of a Food Stamp President of questionable birth and national origin, because Mitt Romney possesses that Anglo Saxon understanding.

  • BZ1

    and don't use any of them metaphors, similes or the like

  • ttommyunger

    Actually, it would be best if Joe and Barry would just STFU, period; dontcha think? Yeah, that's the ticket….

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    Today attendees will receive a complementary Adidas' new JS Roundhouse Mids. Why wait being in chains in 2013 by the possible Romney/Ryan administration. We just need to unload these mistake built by young Chinese workers.

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