that's not change we can believe in

History’s Greatest Monster Barack Obama Politicizes Beer, Refuses To Buy One For Guy Holding A Romney Sign

Did you know? Barack Obama is a terrible alcoholicHey, Barack NoBAma, were you at the Iowa State Fair yesterday, cold buyin’ beers for the first 10 people to swear loyalty oaths to you for the privilege of quaffing sweet, cold Bud?

When asked if he was buying, Obama said, “Let me see what’s in my wallet.”

As the crowd cheered “Four more beers!” the president relented.

“I’ll tell you what, except for Romney sign, I’ll buy beers for ten people,” he said.

Barack Obama basically put that man in a FEMA camp. Why does he hate civility?

Anyway, we are 100 percent positive that those free beers if you aren’t holding a Romney sign are probably illegal, because CORRUPTION and VOTE-BUYING, and we expect the asshole Judicial Watch to file suit any second, retroactively removing him from office for his crimes against comity and the politicization of beer.


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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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      1. horsedreamer_1

        Bush was supposedly a recovering alcoholic, but people still said he was the one they'd have a beer with.

      1. ThundercatHo

        Coke is ok, in fact some Mormans drink it like fiends, since the LDS church invested in Coca-Cola.

          1. Geminisunmars

            And they have all kinds of weird hallucinations, like they are going to go and exist on some alien planet after they die, and Jesus visited their town, and they love their underwear.

  1. Preferred Customer

    "If you want free beer you don't have to pay for, vote for the other guy. Wait, where are you all going?"

  2. SoBeach

    the crowd cheered "Four more beers!"

    My kind of crowd.

    Sounds a lot more fun than listening to a Randian explain how screwing me out of medicaid and cutting taxes for billionaires is going to fix the country.

  3. randcoolcatdaddy

    One candidate wants to buy me beer. The other isn't sure what humans use beer for.

    The choice is obvious.

  4. RedneckMuslin

    See, Nobama doesn't care about farmers. If he did, he would have bought them a gallon of Ethanol.

  5. mookwrthwilson

    Every time you link to an article by Charlie Spiering I laugh…that picture is hilarious…he looks like he's wearing a confirmation suit his mother bought him…hahah…oh lord…

    1. anniegetyerfun

      I seriously don't understand how Obama doesn't spend every night completely drunk. Maybe he's saving it for the rest of his life, but if I were him, I'd spend an awful lot of time being blitzed.

      1. lumpenprole

        He can't because he'd probably give in to temptation and post pics to the twitterz of that Churchill bust wearing funny hats (sombrero).

        1. 1stNewtontheMoon

          or pictures of when he rubs his balls in the jellybean dish he keeps out as a tribute to reagan.

  6. Chichikovovich

    I thought that people who disagreed with politicians at the Iowa State Fair were supposed to be hauled off by state troopers.

  7. elviouslyqueer

    There are so many choice comments from the Examiner comment board. Pity that the majority of them are from basement-dwelling poopsacks who probably haven't voted in an election at all, ever.

  8. Come here a minute

    Mitt Romney is not a beer drinker, but some of his best friends own multinational beverage conglomerates.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        McCain's just a tiny nit in the grand Unilever beverage conglomerate. Mitt's friends are at the very top in Switzerland (with his money).

  9. FakaktaSouth

    If I were PresO I would have busted out the presidential switchblade and shot-gunned the fuck out of all the beers in Iowa, or maybe there should be an official Funnel of the POTUS? BeerPong with a Presidential Seal? Since these are the issues that matter, I think I would be a fun Pres.

    1. Angry_Marmot

      The only problem would be getting you into a cab and making sure you didn't go home with the Koch brothers.

    2. HistoriCat

      VP Biden is on the phone … the White House is interested in your ideas and wants to know if you would consider becoming "Beer Czar".

  10. nowave

    There's such a fine line between socializing and socialism. Ayn Rand would *never* buy anyone a beer, right Paul?

  11. Dudleydidwrong

    "When you've said O-BAMA, you've said it all."

    And when you've got Rmoney, you've got shit.

  12. FakaktaSouth

    PresO and my boyfriend Joe should challenge R-squared to a game of quarters for the election. Or maybe President – Asshole? I mean, damn it's RIGHT THERE in the name, it's like it was meant to be. UpRiver – DownRiver maybe is too on the nose, but good lord I now remember what I really learned in college.

    1. Chet Kincaid_

      Obama/Biden and Romney/Ryan should mix up some Jack Daniels and Coke, have a drunken sock-fight, pogo to the Specials, and then stagger down the street at 3 in the morning singing "Emotional Rescue". The next day, the RA can give the whole floor a stern lecture about the pot he knows they're trafficing. This is how I became the upstanding citizen I am today.

  13. ThundercatHo

    I bet the green coffee bean stand will be popular at the Iowa State Fair. At least it should be.

  14. James Michael Curley

    Almost four years, another shot of the guy drinking a beer and no beer gut. This guy wasn't born in America. By now it should be hanging six inches below his belt.

  15. Angry_Marmot

    There's something sweetly old-fashioned about the president buying a beer, like they should be wearing boaters and bowler hats. Somewhere, Al Smith smiles.
    Through the looking-glass, this is seen as Chicago style politics at its worst! Schaller's Pump! The Machine!

  16. JustPixelz

    In fairness, the Romney guy was already high on something. Maybe beer, maybe Paul Ryan's budget, maybe meth. Hard to tell with that crowd.

    OT but Romney spokesbot Tara Hall answered a question about Medicare with "“there are no differences relative to how we address this going forward with these two great men at the top of the ticket.” Typical Romney: He's indecisive about who's head of his own ticket.

  17. smitallica

    I do think it's ironic that 97% of the people who will vote for the dry-because-the-Prophet-commands-it Mormon were the same people who voted for the dry-because-I-was-a-total-drunken-fuck-up W because they felt they could have a beer with him.
    These people are wrong on like three different levels and don't even get it.

    1. 1stNewtontheMoon

      Mitt would be 1000% more likely to sell these idiots into white slavery than have a beer with them.

  18. fawkedifiknow

    Romney maybe doesn't drink beer, but he is best friends with people who own breweries. So, there's that.

  19. whiskeybaby

    I have to admit, "Four more beers!" is actually pretty funny. Kudos, you beer-loving Obamabot Iowans.

  20. Chichikovovich

    Once again Obama is being a cruel practitioner of Chicago-style politics. A decent human being would have avoided the whole subject, out of respect for the fact that Paul Ryan's late father would occasionally enjoy a beer.

  21. ElPinche


  22. MrDorkbutt

    The comments on the Examiner site were crazy. "Oh, he missed a chance to be a uniter." "Oh, he is using our tax money to buy that." Thankfully Examiner readers are just the homeless filth the GOP isn't going to allow to vote anyways.

  23. belmontreport

    Look at that Obama, doing exactly what we predicted. Giving gov't beer handouts to Democrats and leaving all the Republicans to buy their own beer.

  24. Guppy

    The only way the GOP could top that is if they nominated someone married to a trollopy beer heiress.

  25. Dildeaux

    Can this president stoop any lower?

    Kinda cool that Obama cock-punched mittbot twice here. Once, by simply drinking beer. The other by having only $10 in his wallet. See folks, just a normal guy deserving of your vote.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Here in Northern California at any public event you want to name – rodeo, county fair, ball game, street carnival, etc. – you couldn't buy two beers with ten bucks.

  26. Tundra Grifter

    Barack Obama is a real human being. "Let me see what's in my wallet." You know that's his own money.

    If it had been (r)Money, and if he were willing to buy somebody a beer, his first question would have been "Does anyone have change for a $1,000?"

  27. Eve8Apples

    Romney supporters do not need their President to buy beer for them. They can buy it on their own without help from the government.

  28. savethispatient

    The President should have bought two beers for the Romney sign guy – how's he going to hold up his sign when his hands are full of beer?

    1. bikerlaureate

      I like it – but the wingnuts would've complained about that too.
      Or if he'd bought the guy one beer.
      Or ten.

  29. barto

    Actually he had R-Money-sign's best interests at heart – we're talking Budweiser here after all…

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