yes he does come to your job and knock the dick out of your mouth

Poor Paul Ryan Reduced to Enduring Hecklers Who Haven’t Even Paid $15 Each to Yell at Him

Boy does time fly! It seems like just yesterday that Paul Ryan was charging his constituents $15 each to come yell at him at town halls. But now times have changed! Paul Ryan is a Vice Presidential candidate, which means that he has to let people come yell at him WITHOUT EVEN GIVING HIM MONEY. Like yesterday, when he went to the Iowa state fair in Des Moines and had to just stand there until cops intervened to protect him from a lady yelling questions like ARE YOU GOING TO CUT MEDICARE (yes, of course he is, DUH) and STOP THE WAR ON THE MIDDLE CLASS (*cough* Communists *cough*).

Poor, poor Paul Ryan was reduced totelling the crowd that since Iowans and Wisconsinites “like to be respectful with one another, and peaceful with one another and listen to each other these ladies must not be from Iowa or Wisconsin.” Yes, Paul Ryan is so respectful and peaceful, probably because he is from Wisconsin. Like that one time he politely and respectfully made jokes and laughed as cops wrestled an old man the ground because he dared to point out all the six ways that the Ryan Plan would screw him from Sunday, or the other time he politely and respectfully filibustered his own town meeting so he wouldn’t have to hear what constituents had to say about his plan to ruin their lives. For funsies, here he is at a “listening” session back in 2011, interrupting everyone and lecturing at anyone who asks him tough questions and then finally just asking a bunch of them to leave.

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson
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  1. Come here a minute

    Still not up to the Cheney standard — Paul Ryan doesn't do that thing where he looks at the heckler a certain way and they start choking and stop breathing.

    1. MosesInvests

      "You have failed me for the last time, Mr. President". Say, maybe that's what *really* happened in the Pretzel Incident!

    2. BeefHardcake

      The Force Choke is totally a third-level Sith Lord special ability. He needs a few more Evil Experience Points first, then he can level up.

  2. mavenmaven

    Heckle him now, but in a few years he will make the trains run on time and his troops will make sure you don't dare heckle him again.

  3. Chet Kincaid_

    As Rachel Maddow pointed out last night, this is the one year anniversary of Mitt's flop at the very same event which produced the ineffable "corporations are people, my friend!" I salute the brave liberals of Iowa, who give excellent heckle! Which of you fuckers…?

    1. Chichikovovich

      the ineffable "corporations are people, my friend!"

      "Corporations are people" isn't ineffable. I say "Corporations are people? F' that!" all the time.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Case in Point, from the Southampton Romney Fundraiser supporter In The Range Rover:

      "We've got the message," she added. "But my college kid, the baby sitters, the nails ladies — everybody who's got the right to vote — they don't understand what's going on. I just think if you're lower income — one, you're not as educated, two, they don't understand how it works, they don't understand how the systems work, they don't understand the impact."

      Read more:

  4. Goonemeritus

    How will Paul Ryan ever hear the voice of the voter if people refuse to shut up and listen to him?

    1. LibertyLover

      Where's the picture of him eating a corndog? Isn't that a required photo op for the Repubs when they attend the fair?

      1. BerkeleyBear

        Yeah, but he has to be a public health nut or people will start dwelling on his family's uncomfortable relationship with the Grim Reaper.

        I'm guessing that when/if he's not a rising star anymore, he'll look like Ben Stiller at the end of Dodge Ball (which I'm pretty sure borrowed the fat suit from Fat Bastard in Austin Powers and then covered it with doughnut crumbs and chicken fat).

        1. Callyson

          he has to be a public health nut

          Yet when Michelle Obama says anything at all about public health, the Reeps scream about the nanny state. IOKIYAR again…

  5. Baconzgood

    There are people cheering for women getting taken out by the cops for asking questions about a politicians platform's? Oh hell….USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

        1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

          Now I'm hearing an echo too! Weird how its delayed by twenty minutes. The accustics in this place are strange!

  6. Oblios_Cap

    What kind of GOP VP candidate has that kind of trouble pre-screening their crowds? That didn't happen to $arah!

  7. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Why won't these mean ladies just shut the fuck up and let this nice man ruin America and send them all to re-education/debtors prisons? SO RUDE!

  8. ChernobylSoup

    Joe Biden was found hiding behind the corndog stand, handing out $20 bills to potential hecklers.

  9. noodlesalad

    I heard Paul Ryan tried out for Jeopardy, because he's so smart. He didn't make it, only because the show's writers (HOLLYWOOD LIBRULS) didn't agree that "What are tax cuts for the wealthy?" and "What is destroying Medicare?" are the correct answers to every question.

  10. Baconzgood

    Don't ya just hate when women ask men questions about the cornerstone platform of their political career

  11. under_score

    I can't wait until he gets heckled in New Jersey. "They must not be from Wisconsin or…. uh, never mind" Reboot the pander script!

  12. Baconzgood

    Sure are alotta cops taking out people from his rallys. Its kinda scary to be honest.

    (This comment is 100% snark free)

  13. sbj1964

    Old Joe Biden is going to kick the shit out of this Fucktard.Really?His one claim to fame is wanting to dismantle Medicare?WTF Mittens?

    1. LetUsBray

      The look on Ryan's face when he realizes there are no cops to haul the veep away for questioning him will be priceless.

    2. fuflans

      i made the mistake of responding to a troll on the economist about this very subject.

      while it was an utterly worthless exchange, i did realize they seriously – seriously – think gaffey joe is stupid – and far worse – their randian cheese-bagger teatard is smarter than average.

      i have yet to see the evidence of the latter and as for the former, they have absolutely no idea what they're in for.

      (rubs hands in glee).

    1. freakishlywrong

      No cawn. The asshole conservatives in the house (Ryan), couldn't get a farm bill through because some sane ones objected to defunding the SNAP program. (Not Ryan).

  14. MacRaith

    Wait a minute. He's charging people to yell at him? That explains a lot – he's turned popular outrage into a profitable commodity. He gets paid every time he pisses people off. It's like he's printing his own money!

  15. Chet Kincaid_

    Paulie Dead-Eyes went weeping to Godfather Adelson about not getting a starring role. Next thing you know, Ann wakes up screaming next to Rafalca's head, and it's Romney/Ryan 2012.

  16. Tundra Grifter

    On a least a semi-serious note, on what grounds did the police remove those people? What law was broken? What crime did they commit?

    Somehow, in Iowa, does Rep. Paul Ryan have the right to speak and they don't? It's obviously a political event. The whole right wing meme is that everyone has "political free speech" – including corporations, Super PACs and non-profits that just happen to spend all their money on campaigns, even though they aren't supposed to.

    Why can't those people ask questions?

    1. HistoriCat

      Disturbing the peace maybe. If you're not disturbing the peace before they grab you, you probably will be after they grab you.

      1. Tundra Grifter

        We have a good friend who works for a local citizens' review board of the police force. It's a classic cop move to be a bit rough when they first grab you. It's a natural reaction to pull back, twist, or otherwise react.

        Bingo! Now they add "Resisting Arrest."

        1. BerkeleyBear

          Or you can go rigid. Or limp. Or you can not offer your arms up for handcuffing at just the right angle. Or a million other things.

          Yep, resisting is pretty much a catchall. My favorite is when someone is only booked on resisting arrest – because without an underlying charge, what the fuck were the cops doing making the arrest? Those typically don't go to trial, shockingly enough.

  17. pinkocommi

    It's the fucking smugness that makes Ryan so unlikable. And of course the blackened heart and total lack of compassion.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      I'm actually starting to think Romney is not just tone deaf, he thinks smug sounds great. How else to explain picking this ass, who I swear sounds like a slightly more nasal version of Mitt?

  18. NYNYNYjr

    I've never heard Ryan speak extemporaneously before– in fact, I hate videos of candidates yabbering…but I just watched this: he's no Sarah Palin, or George W. He actually holds ideas in his head and can vocalize them…very interesting.

  19. ttommyunger

    "Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Olds gotta heckle this clown 'fore they die,
    Can't stop hating those Right Wing 'Tards"

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