yes he does come to your job and knock the dick out of your mouth

Poor Paul Ryan Reduced to Enduring Hecklers Who Haven’t Even Paid $15 Each to Yell at Him

Boy does time fly! It seems like just yesterday that Paul Ryan was charging his constituents $15 each to come yell at him at town halls. But now times have changed! Paul Ryan is a Vice Presidential candidate, which means that he has to let people come yell at him WITHOUT EVEN GIVING HIM MONEY. Like yesterday, when he went to the Iowa state fair in Des Moines and had to just stand there until cops intervened to protect him from a lady yelling questions like ARE YOU GOING TO CUT MEDICARE (yes, of course he is, DUH) and STOP THE WAR ON THE MIDDLE CLASS (*cough* Communists *cough*).

Poor, poor Paul Ryan was reduced totelling the crowd that since Iowans and Wisconsinites “like to be respectful with one another, and peaceful with one another and listen to each other these ladies must not be from Iowa or Wisconsin.” Yes, Paul Ryan is so respectful and peaceful, probably because he is from Wisconsin. Like that one time he politely and respectfully made jokes and laughed as cops wrestled an old man the ground because he dared to point out all the six ways that the Ryan Plan would screw him from Sunday, or the other time he politely and respectfully filibustered his own town meeting so he wouldn’t have to hear what constituents had to say about his plan to ruin their lives. For funsies, here he is at a “listening” session back in 2011, interrupting everyone and lecturing at anyone who asks him tough questions and then finally just asking a bunch of them to leave.

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

Comments

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  • DaSandman

    Paul "The Pinata" Ryan.

    Batter up!

    • Baconzgood

      Is there an echo?

      • HateMachine

        echo?

        • Dr_Zoidberg

          Cookie?

          Damn, the echo's broken.

        • NorthStarSpanx

          It was better the second time.

          • DaSandman

            I dunno. The net is wonky here today…much like our nation

      • sudsmckenzie

        Its Wisconsin, we all wear cheese heads.

  • Come here a minute

    Still not up to the Cheney standard — Paul Ryan doesn't do that thing where he looks at the heckler a certain way and they start choking and stop breathing.

    • TheGyrus

      He also hasn't shot anybody in the face, yet.

    • MosesInvests

      "You have failed me for the last time, Mr. President". Say, maybe that's what *really* happened in the Pretzel Incident!

    • BeefHardcake

      The Force Choke is totally a third-level Sith Lord special ability. He needs a few more Evil Experience Points first, then he can level up.

  • ChernobylSoup

    If there was no middle class, this type of shit wouldn't happen.

    Romney/Ryan 2012

    • ibwilliamsi

      I see what you did there…

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      The peasants are revolting!

      • HistoriCat

        I'll say – they stink on ice!

  • mavenmaven

    Heckle him now, but in a few years he will make the trains run on time and his troops will make sure you don't dare heckle him again.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Looks to me like the troops are already making sure we don't heckle him.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    As Rachel Maddow pointed out last night, this is the one year anniversary of Mitt's flop at the very same event which produced the ineffable "corporations are people, my friend!" I salute the brave liberals of Iowa, who give excellent heckle! Which of you fuckers…?

    • Chichikovovich

      the ineffable "corporations are people, my friend!"

      "Corporations are people" isn't ineffable. I say "Corporations are people? F' that!" all the time.

  • RadioBowels

    If only there were more of the 1% this wouldn't happen.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Case in Point, from the Southampton Romney Fundraiser supporter In The Range Rover:

      "We've got the message," she added. "But my college kid, the baby sitters, the nails ladies — everybody who's got the right to vote — they don't understand what's going on. I just think if you're lower income — one, you're not as educated, two, they don't understand how it works, they don't understand how the systems work, they don't understand the impact."

      Read more: http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/romney-hamp

  • Goonemeritus

    How will Paul Ryan ever hear the voice of the voter if people refuse to shut up and listen to him?

    • HateMachine

      Come on, guys, just let him tell himself what voters want!

  • Oblios_Cap

    To be honest, he was just there to enjoy the fair, not be a participant in the democratic process.

    • LibertyLover

      Where's the picture of him eating a corndog? Isn't that a required photo op for the Repubs when they attend the fair?

      • BerkeleyBear

        Yeah, but he has to be a public health nut or people will start dwelling on his family's uncomfortable relationship with the Grim Reaper.

        I'm guessing that when/if he's not a rising star anymore, he'll look like Ben Stiller at the end of Dodge Ball (which I'm pretty sure borrowed the fat suit from Fat Bastard in Austin Powers and then covered it with doughnut crumbs and chicken fat).

        • Callyson

          he has to be a public health nut

          Yet when Michelle Obama says anything at all about public health, the Reeps scream about the nanny state. IOKIYAR again…

  • Baconzgood

    There are people cheering for women getting taken out by the cops for asking questions about a politicians platform's? Oh hell….USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    So when are the olds going to be pelting him with empty prescription bottles?

    • DaniloTifoso

      All of them Katie!

      (Wait, I screwed that up didn't i?)

  • LetUsBray

    In fairness, $15 to tell Ryan how much he sucks sounds like a pretty good deal.

    • HateMachine

      Yeah, but $15 and an arrest?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Who votes for these assholes?

    • freakishlywrong

      All those assholes yelling, inexplicably; "USA, USA"!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        I thought that was ironic, but maybe I'm just naive.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    That's not panty-throwing!

    • LetUsBray

      No, that's when he addresses the Beltway press.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Or the Boy Scouts.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Specifically Bill Kristol.

  • frostbitefalls

    Here's this fun thing! https://twitter.com/PaulRyanGosling

  • elviouslyqueer

    Saaaaaaaaay… You know who else demanded to be respected?

    • Chichikovovich

      Fredo Corleone?

    • RadioBowels

      Rodney Dangerfield?

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Aretha Franklin?

      • Baconzgood

        Damn you!

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          Now I'm hearing an echo too! Weird how its delayed by twenty minutes. The accustics in this place are strange!

          • Baconzgood

            Hey, I'm on my mobile in a meeting. Cut Baconz some slack.

          • HistoriCat

            Oh you're that guy! Pay attention when I'm talking to you damn it.

          • Baconzgood

            Huh? I'm sorry I wasn't listening.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Dr. Frank-N-Furter?

    • MosesInvests

      Eric Cartman?

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      Dubya, Mittens, and every Republitard with textbook-case daddy issues?

    • Estproph

      Me?

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      Barack Obama? I mean, with infinitely more aplomb and cool, of course.

    • Baconzgood

      Aretha Franklin?

    • http://crasstalk.com/ grandinquisitor

      My long-suffering boss?

    • http://mwittier.tumblr.com/ mwittier

      Jan Brady?

      • elviouslyqueer

        Marcia Marcia Marcia LIBEL!

    • http://parterre.com La_Cieca
    • Callyson

      Offspring?

  • Oblios_Cap

    What kind of GOP VP candidate has that kind of trouble pre-screening their crowds? That didn't happen to $arah!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Why won't these mean ladies just shut the fuck up and let this nice man ruin America and send them all to re-education/debtors prisons? SO RUDE!

    • kittensdontlie

      Also, whatever happened to going to your own medicare-less death with diginity?!

  • ChernobylSoup

    Joe Biden was found hiding behind the corndog stand, handing out $20 bills to potential hecklers.

    • Generation[redacted]

      In the video, you don't see him making his escape in a 1978 Trans Am.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    That's what happens when you fuck with people's Medicare, Mikey blue eyes.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I would pay at least $30 for the chance to heckle this mofo.

    • HistoriCat

      I would mortgage my house to kick him in the crotch.

  • noodlesalad

    I heard Paul Ryan tried out for Jeopardy, because he's so smart. He didn't make it, only because the show's writers (HOLLYWOOD LIBRULS) didn't agree that "What are tax cuts for the wealthy?" and "What is destroying Medicare?" are the correct answers to every question.

  • ibwilliamsi

    I want to know how much they paid that black man to stand on the stage with him.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      That's not a real black man. That's a Ryan staffer in blackface.

  • freakishlywrong

    He's so courageous and bold. Having 2 women haled away for talking mean to him.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      You should see what he did to that guy who took his lunch money!

    • freakishlywrong

      hauled, stupid.

  • Baconzgood

    Don't ya just hate when women ask men questions about the cornerstone platform of their political career

  • ibwilliamsi

    Maybe if they tucked $5 bills into his khakis?

    • ChuckieJesus

      What would be playing over the speakers?

      • HateMachine

        C.R.E.A.M.

  • under_score

    I can't wait until he gets heckled in New Jersey. "They must not be from Wisconsin or…. uh, never mind" Reboot the pander script!

  • Baconzgood

    Sure are alotta cops taking out people from his rallys. Its kinda scary to be honest.

    (This comment is 100% snark free)

    • freakishlywrong

      I was thinking that last night watching this. It's very brownshirty.

    • ChuckieJesus

      After all, they could just yell their objections from that cage over there.

      • Tundra Grifter

        They are called "First Amendment Zones" because the First Amendment doesn't apply.

  • sbj1964

    Old Joe Biden is going to kick the shit out of this Fucktard.Really?His one claim to fame is wanting to dismantle Medicare?WTF Mittens?

    • LetUsBray

      The look on Ryan's face when he realizes there are no cops to haul the veep away for questioning him will be priceless.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      i made the mistake of responding to a troll on the economist about this very subject.

      while it was an utterly worthless exchange, i did realize they seriously – seriously – think gaffey joe is stupid – and far worse – their randian cheese-bagger teatard is smarter than average.

      i have yet to see the evidence of the latter and as for the former, they have absolutely no idea what they're in for.

      (rubs hands in glee).

  • resolvedwaldron

    Why isn't he sucking on one those Iowan corn dogs?

  • SorosBot

    Someone this thin-skinned is exactly who we want a heartbeat away from the Presidency.

    • freakishlywrong

      No cawn. The asshole conservatives in the house (Ryan), couldn't get a farm bill through because some sane ones objected to defunding the SNAP program. (Not Ryan).

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Where's a jockeying citizen crowd control volunteer when you need 'em? Has Tim Profitt become a layabout?
    http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/10/26/pro

  • MacRaith

    Wait a minute. He's charging people to yell at him? That explains a lot – he's turned popular outrage into a profitable commodity. He gets paid every time he pisses people off. It's like he's printing his own money!

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Paul who???

    Can Romney fire him?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Paulie Dead-Eyes went weeping to Godfather Adelson about not getting a starring role. Next thing you know, Ann wakes up screaming next to Rafalca's head, and it's Romney/Ryan 2012.

  • Hera Sent Me

    When you see yourself as the Second Coming in wrath, you find dissent hard to take.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Heckle / Jeckle 2012!

  • Tundra Grifter

    On a least a semi-serious note, on what grounds did the police remove those people? What law was broken? What crime did they commit?

    Somehow, in Iowa, does Rep. Paul Ryan have the right to speak and they don't? It's obviously a political event. The whole right wing meme is that everyone has "political free speech" – including corporations, Super PACs and non-profits that just happen to spend all their money on campaigns, even though they aren't supposed to.

    Why can't those people ask questions?

    • HistoriCat

      Disturbing the peace maybe. If you're not disturbing the peace before they grab you, you probably will be after they grab you.

      • Baconzgood

        Yelling at a fair? What do they do to the carnie barkers that want to guess your weight?

        • HistoriCat

          What do they do to the carnie barkers…?

          Demand a percentage of course.

      • Tundra Grifter

        We have a good friend who works for a local citizens' review board of the police force. It's a classic cop move to be a bit rough when they first grab you. It's a natural reaction to pull back, twist, or otherwise react.

        Bingo! Now they add "Resisting Arrest."

        • BerkeleyBear

          Or you can go rigid. Or limp. Or you can not offer your arms up for handcuffing at just the right angle. Or a million other things.

          Yep, resisting is pretty much a catchall. My favorite is when someone is only booked on resisting arrest – because without an underlying charge, what the fuck were the cops doing making the arrest? Those typically don't go to trial, shockingly enough.

  • StarsUponThars

    I look forward to seeing nothing but that for the next 2-1/2 months.

  • Canmon

    I'm sick of the middle class. Pick a side already!

  • Misty Malarky

    Eyes…so blue! It's like looking into a smurf's anus.

    -Jon Stewart 08/13/12

  • GorzoTheMighty

    Diamond Joe Biden will be wearing those blue eyes as cufflinks. Because of votes.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want him to eat fried butter.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Can't we just have these things in, you know, quite rooms?

  • Guppy

    Paul Ryan was too polite and courteous to enlist in the military in 1990.

  • ChrisM2011

    He's doing it wrong. Needs more Rand Paul sponsored face stomping….

  • MonkeyMotion

    Maybe he should just hold rallies at Chick-Fil-A's around the country…

  • ChuckieJesus

    What do you call a comedian that doesn't have any good comebacks for a heckler?

    • http://crasstalk.com/ grandinquisitor

      Daniel Tosh?

    • An_Outhouse

      unemployed?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Paul Ryan looks like he's about to burst into flames any minute in that bright sunlight.

  • LibertyLover

    Ryan has elevated arresting old people to an Olympic event.

  • LibertyLover

    He just needs more cowbell.

  • pinkocommi

    It's the fucking smugness that makes Ryan so unlikable. And of course the blackened heart and total lack of compassion.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I'm actually starting to think Romney is not just tone deaf, he thinks smug sounds great. How else to explain picking this ass, who I swear sounds like a slightly more nasal version of Mitt?

  • An_Outhouse

    $arah better renew her contract quick, there's some real competition waiting in the wings.

  • Amanwithnoplan
  • owhatever

    This keeps up, Congresscritter Ryan is going to start thinking that some people don't like him.

  • NYNYNYjr

    I've never heard Ryan speak extemporaneously before– in fact, I hate videos of candidates yabbering…but I just watched this: he's no Sarah Palin, or George W. He actually holds ideas in his head and can vocalize them…very interesting.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    cheese bagging teatard is cheese bagging teatard.

  • Tricky_Dick

    Ryan is an idiot…I'd F_ _ _ him though – kinda hot.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Nice group of thugs protecting the Ryan

  • ttommyunger

    "Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, Olds gotta heckle this clown 'fore they die,
    Can't stop hating those Right Wing 'Tards"