just chattin' about them islamsRep. Joe Walsh (IL – Attacks Disabled Veterans For Being Attention Hogs) is back in the news again, for saying that evil Mooslems are everywhere trying to kill us, even in our precious suburbs!

Rep. Walsh said: “One thing I’m sure of is that there are people in this country, there is a radical strain of Islam in this country, it’s not just over there, trying to kill Americans every week. It is a real threat, and it is a threat that is much more at home now than it was after 9/11.”

“It’s here. It’s in Elk Grove. It’s in Addison. It’s in Elgin. It’s here. This is one thing I want my government to do is protecting us against this threat, because let’s be honest, folks, it is a threat.”

One of the best cases for Walsh’s reelection is that he is a leader, and people take what he says seriously.

Only hours after tea party-backed Rep. Joe Walsh (R-IL) released a statement warning that radical Islam was trying to “kill Amerians,” police say that shots from a “high-velocity air rifle” narrowly missed a security guard at the Muslim Education Center near Chicago, while about 500 Muslims prayed inside during Ramadan services.

According to a statement from the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), the FBI was investigating a possible hate crime after David Conrad was arrested for firing at least two shots into the the mosque.

It would be irresponsible to say that Joe Walsh is directly responsible for this attack, but not as irresponsible as Joe Walsh is when he talks about Islam, so that’s something.

Your Wonkette would like to remind you that it is unfair to hold elected officials responsible for the actions of the mentally unbalanced who happen to hear what they say and go do crazy things. Even when the things the elected official says are are directly related to the things that later happen. And when the elected official makes the explicit case that people of a group are trying to kill you and will try to kill you every moment of every waking day and live next door to you and could blow you to tiny pieces of hot dog-flavored America if you are not always vigilant.

It. Is. Unfair.

[Raw Story]

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  • DrunkIrishman

    Joe Walsh is a bigger threat to America than any Muslim.

    • memzilla

      He's America's Home-Grown Ahmadinejad!

    • arihaya

      Well yes, since Osama is dead, yes.

      And btw Osama bin Laden was also a deadbeat dad who left his children to bang some hotties in Pakistan. So there is another similarities with Joe Walsh there.

    • comrad_darkness

      He's a bigger threat to children too. Especially his own.

  • PuckStopsHere

    If he's actually serious about scaring the electorate, he really ought to explain to them the Ryan plan for Medicare and Social Security.

    • Terry

      If I could give you multiple p-ness points, I would.

  • Trannysurprise

    So what he is saying is that we should invade Iran right?

    • Or Dearborn.

      • miss_grundy

        Actually the a$$hat in my film discussion group at the library told me and another woman waiting for the elevator that if we approached a Muslim who wouldn't speak English to us, we should run away. Seriously. But I guess we shouldn't run away from white men with guns.

        • Biff

          I'm sure those nice young men who took down all those jets on September 11 2001 would have happily engaged your friend in English.

        • Did it ever occur to this miserable asshat that the Muslim in question might have been an Iraqi refugee from when we bombed the shit out of his country, and the poor guy was not conversant in English?

          No, of course not. Forget I asked. Man, there are days when I just long to stran gle these people WITH VOTES.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      And I'm sure that Joe Walsh will be leading the invasion. With his ass on a comfy sofa in ILLinois.

  • Buzz Feedback

    There's a radical strain of tard in Elk Grove.

    • Warwhatgoodfor

      Skokie riots! KKKralies! Video at eleven!

  • Katydid

    OT but wonderful…Ryan Heckled at First Campaign Stop

    As reporters walked alongside him asking questions — including about the region's devastating drought — Ryan declined to answer most of them, saying, "We can play 'stump the VP later.'"

    • Tundra Grifter

      The "Stump the VP" Game is bound to be nasty, brutish and short.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Just like the Veep candidate's junk.

        • Wait, you would know this … no, WAIT! I DON'T WANT to know!

          • glasspusher

            Hey spud, what I want to know is- are you getting out there again and giving those legs a workout? I'm not going quietly either. Hope things are getting better.

          • I'm on it, dood! I am so on it, you don't know. Still sucks, though.

            The good thing is, I'm feeling energized. So energized, I'm getting my house fixed up. Of course, I expect the strain on my relationships will end up with me being single again in no time, but ya gotta sacrifice for the things you *want* in this life. Like a working fucking shower.

            So, how's by you?

          • bobbert

            What, you have to do plumbing with a bum leg? Z the Plumber?

          • Oh, hell, no way. I had to stop rewiring the boxes in the lab, and *that* floor wasn't anywhere near as hard, cold, and filled with vermin as the crawl space. I'm going to hand someone *else* a nice wad of cash and tell *them* to fix the fucking plumbing. The shower's been driving me nuts for years.

          • glasspusher

            Hey man, wow! Energized is good. Anyone who can't handle that, you don't want or need. My physician is finally getting with the program and I may be getting an MRI soon. I bet I light it up like a christmas tree, and he'll see this thing is no joke. I continue to keep on keepin' on.

          • (Hugs glasspusher) Oh, noes! I didn't know you had something wrong. I think you told me, but I was being awfully self-involved and self-centered. I'm so sorry. Is it the knee? Here's hoping it's something minor. Let us know, OK?

          • glasspusher

            Hey man,No, it's my back…been hurting for the last 2.5 years. Fell on the stairs letting the cat out in the middle of the night. Oh, to rewind the clock…

      • GeorgiaBurning

        Especially if the stump comes with a long-handled axe and a guy with a black hood.

        • Tundra Grifter

          Or an irate wife.

      • You're not supposed to *beat* him with the stump, TG.

    • Callyson

      Yes, during the Veep debate. Joe Biden's mouth is watering and his eyes are widening as he prepares for that bloodfest…

    • TavariousChinaSmith

      All of them, Katie: that's all he really needs to know.

    • HistoriCat

      Someone should really sit Ryan down and explain to him that he will be a candidate for VP – he doesn't actually have the job right now.

      • He made himself a brand new Twitter account — @PaulRyanVP — before the announcement went out. How's that for stupendous arrogance? The little shit really thinks the sun shines out of his arsehole.

        • Boojum

          Under a Romney/Ryan administration, sunshine will be the same brown color, at least what filters through the smog.

          • Hey, whaddya know, I wasn't really THAT hungry! Wow, this new "only read Wonketz during lunch and dinner" weight loss program is working out RLY well.

        • miss_grundy

          It must be an Ayn Rand thing, you know, being an arrogant, selfish bitch. But I read somewhere that the hootchie actually collected Social Security and used Medicare, even though she was against it.

          • She most certainly *did* collect SS and Medicare, and she did it under her married name so people wouldn't know that the same heartless bitch Ayn Rand who railed against such things all her life had no shame about taking them when she needed to. For the record, she had many *contemporaries* who believed the same things she did, and they preferred to forfeit their Social Security before their principles.

          • HogeyeGrex

            See? She really was a trailblazer for the modern Right.

            Principles, schminciples.

          • Yaknow, Hogeye, when you put it *that* way …

    • bikerlaureate

      Oh, those "gotcha" questions again… such as "Is extensive drought bad?"

      • anniegetyerfun

        "Well, if it kills off some old folks, then… wait, what? No, I didn't say that! Take-backsies!"

      • bobbert

        Well, it might range as far as "So, what's your thinking on climate change now, dood?"

      • Negropolis

        I guess when you answer is "No aid to anyone ever (except corporations)." it is a gotcha question, for him.

    • POTUS will be there tonight, talking about how he's helping the drought-stricken farmers.

      • How many people will he have arrested?

        It's important that Romney-Ryan not have an opportunity to capitalize on the often-critical "Trampling the First Amendment Gap".

        • I hadn't heard that he'd ever had people arrested, but feel free to educate me.


            Tell me… tell me he's at least going to have protesters preemptively arrested before the DNC in North Carolina. Or have active-duty members of the military illegally detain reporters? Is he at least going to demand the retraction of ostensibly-true newspaper stories??? MISTER PRESIDENT THIS IS NO WAY TO WIN AN ELECTION.

          • I theenk you make the leetle joke wit' me, meester Incitefully_Joe, yes? You make the funny haha? Yes, I theenk. (attempts to look profound, trips over own feet)

          • bobbert

            If I read the article correctly, it turns out three people were "removed", but no one was arrested. Because, after all, why? The local cops don't really need a lawsuit.

          • A subsequent article indicated that there had been some arrests, but I don't recall where it was, so no linky, sry.

    • zippy_w_pinhead

      and to think they nixed the Florida trip in favor of Iowa because they thought it would be safer…

      • Ryan was heckled and nearly attacked by some irate seniors, so I b'leev they're doing some, uh, threat reassessment.

        • Boojum

          Those Rascals.

    • TootsStansbury

      Sort of OT but I heard a sound bite if his speech on the radio. I paraphrase but he said something like "What about the JAWBS Obama!". The hate and ugliness in his tone was unprofessional to say the least. He makes Sarah Palin look nice.

      I wanted to knock out teeth (with votes of course); My liver is not going to make it to November.

      • bikerlaureate

        How many jerbs bills did Ayn Ryan introduce?
        How many did he vote for?

        . . . . .

        • miss_grundy

          None of the above, Katie. He doesn't want to help the poors and it isn't up to the President to PASS legislation. It is his job to SIGN them. Since the Rethugs have the majority in the house, they haven't done anything for the poors or the middles. Too bad no one in the audience asked him, why didn't he vote to pass a jobs bill.

          • bikerlaureate

            Remember when there were reporters who would ask obvious questions? Good times.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Mine gave up in '07.

        I miss it.

        • Are you serious? You're not serious, are you?

          I think I'm being paranoid because so many of my friends seem to be sick or dying, goddammit.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Well, not gave up as in total shut down, but rather gave up as in it told me in no uncertain terms no more fifth of booze every night drinking like the previous twenty years, and really, no more booze at all, OR ELSE.

            Sad, really.

            Sorry about your friends, but it happens to the best of us. As Zevon said, Life'll Kill Ya.

          • (Hugs HogeyeGrex) Look, at least it hasn't kacked yet. I'm just glad I don't have to worry about YOU TOO.

    • Warwhatgoodfor

      Isn't this dickwad from Wisconsin? I mean, it's the northern Midwest, but still…. Must be part of that take care of your own shit yourselves thing.

      • Misty Malarky

        You people OBVIOUSLY are not from Iowa or Wisconsin.

        • bobbert

          Actually, I'm "from" Wisconsin — a long time ago — and I have trouble recognizing this shit. But things do change.

    • foxpuppet

      Amateur hour. Even the hecklers looked staged.

      Wouldn't surprise me if they were with the R/R campaign, trying to lend credence to the whole "we're so persecuted by violent atheistic liberals all the time" act.

    • just_a_head

      Jesus-please-us, don't read the comments on that link. I just lost 10 IQ points.

      Those assholes claim not to be racists and then throw shit in like "Mooooshelle" when discussing health care.

  • RadioBowels

    I'm worried about the creeping backdoor Mormon Law.

    • Beowoof

      Ryan is Catholic, how long before Cannon Law takes over.

      • The Mormons are going to be shooting grapeshot at the Cardinals? Will the magicunderwared do that dressed as Pirates or Braves?

        • horsedreamer_1

          Worst Cardinal on Opponent violence since Tony La Russa & Dusty Baker at the 2002 NLCS.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Cutlery works as very expensive form of buckshot. Not that "The Inheritors" would notice the cost.

      • just_a_head

        The Catholics don't want him. Several bishops and priests issued statements calling his budget plan "immoral."

    • emmelemm

      Just keep yer asshole clenched as hard as you can.

    • James Michael Curley

      Kudos to the Wonkette poster the other day that said "Romney/Ryan – One is a member of a secret religious cult that abuses women and gays and the other is a Mormon." I'm upfisting you now.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Meghan, my turn of the century Mormon boner inducer can backdoor me anytime.

      … Think I said too much.

      • Oh, no, no, we *expect* TMI and overshare. Especially about teh buttsechs. (writes "horsedreamer_1" in notebook)

    • Sacanagem

      Is THAT what the kids are calling it these days?

  • It is a real threat, and it is a threat that is much more at home now than it was after 9/11.

    Republicans run on 9/11 so much you'd almost think they'd prevented it.

    • Geminisunmars

      Or invented it.

      • Well, they *kinda* did.

        • Terry

          By ignoring a completely subtle briefing report entitled "Osama bin Laden Determined to Strike in the US"?

          • (looks around suspiciously) Who told you?

    • Callyson

      "Bin Laden Deterred from Striking in US"

    • arihaya

      Well I think Republicans should be allowed to run on it. After all a Republican president found and killed the man who was responsible for 9/11. Oh wait …

      • Boojum

        And George W. Bush kept us safe. Except for that one time.

        • bobbert

          That one doesn't count, because shut up.

        • BerkeleyBear

          That one time, at band camp, W stuck critical intelligence up his pooper. Which sorta makes sense, since Cheney pulled all the Iraq intel out his butt.

          • I thought they shared an asshole.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Don't forget the Anthrax. And I'm not talking about the kind with guitars.

  • The shooter probably had a shitty, deadbeat Dad

    • You mean he was aiming at the wrong person?

  • fartknocker

    So Joe, will you behave as the person did in College Station today when the Cook County Sheriff evicts you from you house and hauls your ass away for not paying child support?

    Joe is a 1st order, Grade A flaming asshat.

    • Geminisunmars

      Our mass shooting of the week.

      • It *is* getting to that point, innit? Wake up each day and wonder if this is the day someone else will hit the headlines.

        • Negropolis

          I actual dread turning on the television, now.

          • Now, more than ever, I'm glad I don't have one. Stay away from The Damned Thing, N.

          • fartknocker

            We have a society change that is becoming epidemic with center-fire cartridges, compatible weapons and public displays of carnage and death. All these players want their own mass casualty incident. This needs the CDC and NIH resources and is a national emergency. It must stop.

            Today the President spent $170M on farmers. It's great that a leader makes a trip to better understand the climate is becoming unfriendly. I pity the agriculture community and I lived through my own wildland urban interface fires last summer.

            Take 15 percent of the funding and send it to the CDC and NIH and help me, a middle class white guy who worked public safety for over 20 years understand this. I just want it to stop.

            Sorry for the zero snark.

          • Negropolis

            You know, it blows my mind that there is nearly a murder a day in the city I was born in and that it actually used to be worse. Our communities have been seeing these kind of numbers for decades and though murders have gone down we still have some of the highest rates in the developed world. In my hometown, something like 70% of homicides are drug related and something like 80%+ are done with gun. How can anyone in power go to sleep knowing that when they wake up someone else will have already died and will die the next night?

            There are solutions; we're just cowards.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Imaginary survivor's pride vs real survivor's guilt.

          • (Hugs fartknocker) That's OK. This is not really a snarkable, anyway.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I still don't know why Romney didn't tap Joe for Veep since he's such a swell guy. I guess he's too poor.

    • With that $200,000 child support owed bill, yeah, I guess he is, the prick. What kind of father can't be bothered to provide for his own children.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Oh, they settled that, and Joe is vindicated. According to him.

        • bobbert

          Yeah, I hope that was a decent settlement. I wonder how much Joe can actually say about it before he blows the non-disclosure agreement, and his ex can speak up.

        • I b'leev by "settled that," Joe means he has signed an agreement to pay in return for which he forced his long-suffering spouse to sign a NDA. He's too much of a prick to have actually paid her the outstanding amount. IOW, I'll believe it when he produces the cancelled check AND a signed testimonial from the ex.

      • miss_grundy

        Oh, you would be surprised how many men try to dodge and weave from paying child support. My old man was supposed to pay child support to my aunts after a custody battle and he hardly ever did. My aunts never sent the law after him 'cause they didn't need anything from him. But there are thousands or perhaps tens of thousands of men who are willing to make babies but not take care of them.

        • I think my father would have given his heart's blood for his children. Whenever any one of us fell sick, he would sit up all night by our beds holding our hands, in case we got up at night and were scared to be alone. Stories like this make me appreciate him so much more, now.

          • tessiee

            That probably has a lot to do with why you're such a good person now.

          • (Hugs tessiee) I've never thought of myself as a good person, although I certainly try to be. Thank you.

            No noogies.

          • HistoriCat

            I've never thought of myself as a good person, although I certainly try to be.

            I'm going to adapt this and have them use it on my tombstone.

          • Hey, no fair, that's MY line! Man, you can't even keep your fuckin' OBIT safe in this place, everybody wants to play grabby-grabby.

          • HistoriCat

            If it's any consolation, I wasn't really planning on having a tombstone.

          • I am so not consoled by this, since I never want to think of living in a world without a HistoriCat in it. (sniff!)

          • HistoriCat

            You are the sweetest psychotic clown ever!

          • For a total nutbag, I can be pretty OK, huh?

            I can't help it, I just fell in love with ALL you goddamn people, you know? (Hugs the HistoriCat, rubs the furry belly) No claws!

  • RadioBowels

    Those praying Muslims could not run fast enough.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I see what you did there.

    • shoulda been packing. that would have showed em.

  • Republicans don't kill people – people kill people!

    • "Quit pointing that Republican at me, it might go off!"

    • Wutchu talkin' about, johnnyzhivago? Of COURSE Republicans kill people. Goddamn, they killed more 'n a million of 'em just when that Little Boots dude was in charge.

    • bikerlaureate

      DemonRATS and poors are people too, my friend.

    • Republicans are corporations too, my friend.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Sheer InSannity used to claim "radical Islam" was the greatest threat American ever faced.

    That would, at a glace, put it ahead of the American Revolution and the War of 1812, when he faced in battle the greatest military power on earth.

    Ahead of the American Civil War, when at least 620,000 people were killed in the fight to preserve the Union.

    World Wars II & I. And the Cold War, when our enemy had the capability to destroy life on earth.

    Then there's the Great Depression and the possible coup against President Roosevelt.

    • bikerlaureate

      Aborting fetuses was said to be pretty threatening too.

    • Angry_Marmot

      The coup against Roosevelt's been with us in slow motion since the Eighties.

      • Boojum

        It never went away. My Dad warned me about the GOP his whole life. I grew up thinking Republican son of a bitch was one word.

        • emmelemm

          I like your dad.

          • Boojum

            He always said the Republicans were intending to take us back before income tax and the New Deal, so that the rich could reduce wages to the point that they could afford servants to staff places like Biltmore House.

    • finallyhappy

      suicide, homicide, drunk drivers(I considered them homicidal but the courts don't even when they kill people)- much bigger threats. Also fast food/soda- as more and more Americans die from preventable heart disease

    • Negropolis

      Don't forget the folks like the KKK who terrorized entire swaths of our population for decades and were even mainstreamed for a portion of their time having taken over local and state goverenments and infiltrating the federal government. But, they aren't terrorists…because.

      • Oh, let me see, now, I would guess … Stravinsky?

        Ooops. Wrong question.

      • An_Outhouse

        they just changed their name to NRA

      • Tundra Grifter


        I'm also pretty tired about hearing and reading that the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are the longest in our history. There's the "police action" in Korea that is coming up on 70 years.

        And there are the wars on the First Americans. Depending on where you starts – 1620? Or, if one just concentrates on the Sioux, we could begin with the outbreak during the Civil War. I believe that was 1862.

        Wounded Knee probably marks the end of the military campaign – that would be 1890.

  • timbo71351

    I wish these assholes would cool it with the loose talk. I know they're saying silly shit most of them don't believe to get the hayseed vote, but there are too many unhinged angry folks with guns out there who take that crap seriously.

    • HistoriCat

      Walsh is too stupid-mean to be aware that he's saying silly shit – I think he's a true-believer.

      • And you know who else was a true-believer?

        • HistoriCat

          Fans of Tinkerbell?

        • Angry_Marmot

          The Monkees? No, that was just their day job…

        • tessiee

          James Woods?

      • The guy's a lawyer. I don't remember which school he graduated, but it wasn't some completely podunk trash-heap like Michele BaaBaa's. So he might not be a rocket scientist, but he sure is smarter than the Cletuses to whom he is shoveling this shit. He's no true believer. He's a whore, and too arrogant to believe that his audience isn't as stupid as he thinks it is.

        • bobbert

          He's not a lawyer. He has an MPP (the political equivalent of an MBA, I believe) from Chicago. I don't think he is very smart. He's a fucking loudmouth.

          • You are correct. I must have mixed him up with some other worthless piece of shit Republican Teabagger named Joe.

    • They know that quite well. They just don't give a fuck about the collateral damage in their quest for power, because they know quite well it ain't gonna be them or theirs.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Personally, I think the "unhinged angry folks with guns" are the ones Walsh hopes to reach. He is that kind of asshole.

  • SorosBot

    Oh come on now, next thing you'll be suggesting that racist demagogues like Joe might be responsible for violent bigots who say kill shoot up a temple of Sikhs they think are Muslim, or kill nearly a hundred kids attending a camp run by Norway's liberal party because they don't hate on the Muslims.

    • Now, now! Pamela Gellar made very clear that that had nothing to do with her!

      While also defending that attack as totally being the fault of all the liberals and Ethnics in Europe, who were all being liberal, and Ethnic, right in his face like that, and murdering a bunch of them being a totally reasonable reaction to being "pushed too far" by all those people, just cold being liberal and/or Ethnic, all the time, everywhere.

      • I swear, those Ethnics. Ain't no curing them.

    • no, i would not suggest a republican take responsibility for his or her words or actions.

      would not do that.

  • Callyson

    it is unfair to hold elected officials responsible for the actions of the mentally unbalanced who happen to hear what they say and go do crazy things.

    However, it is entirely fair to find mentally unbalanced elected officials and have the people in the white jackets take them someplace quiet where they can relax for a spell…

    • I don't want them to relax. I want them to leap about screaming as Biely prods their overfed asses with a heated pitchfork.

  • fartknocker

    I would love some nice attorney who is practicing Islam to file a lawsuit against this asshat for reckless endangerment.

    • sullivanst

      Sadly, Brandenburg says no.

  • You'd think Joe Walsh would be spending his spare time making child support payments.

  • hagajim

    “One thing I’m sure of is that there are people in this country," At least dopey Joe got that part right. However, it seems the people out there killing us are us….like Jared Loughner, the nut in Colorado, the skinhead loser in Wisconsin and now apparently a deadbeat in College Station. Seems like old Joe forgot about all them 'Merikans who are threatening us all. Douche.

  • Walsh is irresponsible in so many ways– surprised he hasn't left the stove on and burned down his whole block.

    • foxpuppet

      Are you sure that he hasn't? I never heard him deny it…

  • sullivanst

    "Unfair" is, of course, not the same as "untrue".

    • No, of course not. Not in the slightest.

  • Callyson

    An easy fix:

    “One thing I’m sure of is that there are people in this country, there is a radical strain of Republicanism in this country, it’s not just over there, trying to kill Americans every week. It is a real threat, and it is a threat that is much more at home now than it was after 9/11.”


  • Extemporanus

    He doesn't hate Muslims — he hates these cans!

  • Guppy

    a “high-velocity air rifle”

    A Red Ryder BB gun? This is the best the Teabaggers can muster?

    White Jesus is disappoint.

    • HistoriCat

      And I thought there was nothing that would make muscular Jesus cry …

      • Guppy

        It's a single, manly tear, much like the 9/11 Eagle.

      • Is that the punchline of a joke that involves a guy in a bar showing Muscular Jesus his dick? Because I know that one.

        • tessiee

          I knew he was gonna get in trouble with that "I am a fisher of men" line.

          • (sticks fingers in ears) Didn't hear that, LALALA, didn't hear that at all.

            You know you're gonna get us both sent to the hottest corner of Catholic hell for that.

          • Negropolis

            And the whole "This is my body. Eat me!" didn't help, either.

          • I'm bringing toasting forks, you bring marshmallows. We're spending a LONG time with Biely.

          • Negropolis

            My dad and his family were raised Catholic (yes, folks, there is such a thing as Blah Catholics) — though, he's even more anti-religion than I am, now –, so I'll ask him where the best seats are.

          • Whole *buncha* Blah Catlicks living right around here, dude. You should see 'em give the Baptists the stinkeye, too. They don't hold with that hollerin' and stuff.

            Something tells me we won't need sweaters, anyway.

    • Generation[redacted]

      I dunno. I have a Benjamin .22 I occasionally used for rats, at 685 fps I wouldn't want to be shot with it.

      • Guppy

        But if a Teabagger had that kind of money, they'd be obligated to spend it on a large-caliber pistol (complete with high-capacity magazine) to openly carry. An air rifle just can't extend one's dick like that.

      • schvitzatura

        You sure as shit wouldn't want to get hit by this; not Ralphie's Red Ryder:

    • Tundra Grifter


      I'm with you on this one. I'm not an expert. But, unless we're dealing with Col. Sebastian Moran ("The second most dangerous man in London"), bb's or pellets are fired from a "high-velocity air rifle." Not "shots."

      • They can still put somebody's eye out.

        • Tundra Grifter

          I saw a note on the Internets that "Christmas Story 2" went straight to DVD.

          Memo to Hollywood: Not every movie needs to be remade, updated, or sequeled.

          • HistoriCat

            Not every movie needs to be remade, updated, or sequeled.

            You will NEVER eat lunch in this town again.

      • James Michael Curley

        Conan-Doyle, if I remember correctly, has Moran using 'revolver' bullets in his 'high-velocity air rifle'. It has been over thirty years and I don't have my collection of Homes loaded on this computer. It's the Adventure of the Empty House or something.

        • Tundra Grifter


          The game is afoot!

          Yes, it is "The Adventure of the Empty House." And I believe you are correct – the high-powered rifle (Col. Moran cocked it with a lever to charge it with the compressed air, as I recall) shot a revolver bullet.

          Where's nilist when we need him?

          • Tundra Grifter

            … from the pocket of his overcoat he drew a bulky object, and he busied himself in some task which ended with a loud, sharp click, as if a spring or bolt had fallen into its place. Still kneeling upon the floor he bent forward and threw all his weight and strength upon some lever, with the result that there came a long, whirling, grinding noise, ending once more in a powerful click. He straightened himself then, and I saw that what he held in his hand was a sort of gun, with a curiously misshapen butt. He opened it at the breech, put something in, and snapped the breech-lock.

            Holmes had picked up the powerful air-gun from the floor, and was examining its mechanism.

            "An admirable and unique weapon," said he, "noiseless and of tremendous power: I knew Von Herder, the blind German mechanic, who constructed it to the order of the late Professor Moriarty. For years I have been aware of its existence though I have never before had the opportunity of handling it. I commend it very specially to your attention, Lestrade and also the bullets which fit it."

          • James Michael Curley

            My memory is not that good, but that particular curiosity is one I remember from the reading I did as a young teen, as we were all hoping for the air rifles we saw on the back of comics and woman dressed and built like those inside them. I even took my meager savings and bought a canister of bb’s as my father said he may let me get one but he would keep the ammo.

  • Did he say "Muslims" or "Mormons". I always get the two mixed up.

  • YouBetcha

    Is that why you flaked on your child support? Kids were Muslin?


    • rickmaci

      If I was Muslim and lived in Illinois, I would start a fundraiser for Joe Deadbeatdad's family to raise money for them while they fight out support in court with fucktard father.

      • May I Tweet that, dear? I like to Tweet things like this to Joe on a daily basis.

        • rickmaci

          YES YES YES.

      • ha! Done!

    • So THAT'S it! I knew he had a good reason!

      Cheap bastard now has two OTHER kids, and I wonder if he's supporting THEM, either.

  • sufferinsuccotash

    Now if Muslims in this country got guns to defend themselves…
    We could lock them up for suspected terrorist activities!!
    [/cue nasty Richard Widmark-Tommy Udo-type laugh]

    • That still chills me, man. Best role that guy had, I think.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    via RawStory

    Conrad had reportedly attended community meetings in 2003 and 2004 to oppose the mosque, neighbor Berdella Wehrmacher, 90, told the The Chicago Tribune.

    “We fought to keep it away, not because it was a mosque but because they took away our park,” Wehrmacher insisted.

  • "Not only are they in New Hampshire … they're in South Carolina and Oklahoma and Arizona and North Dakota and New Mexico, and they're going to California and Texas and New York! And they're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan. And then they're going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House, Yeeeeeaaaaaargh!"

    • Baconzgood

      This made me laugh Pepsi out of my nose…on the trolly on my way home from work in front of 50 people. Stick around Wonkette C.W. you're going places kid.

    • There always was somethin' funny about that Dean, in a "perfect Muslin cuz nobody would suspect" way!!!1!

    • Negropolis

      Aha! I always knew that Jew was a Muslim. I bet yoou his birthname was Haward Al-Din. And, Al Gore? Really? More like Al-Gohr.

    • unclejeems

      Spreading like Sharia law through the length and breadth of the land.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Joe the Plumber, meet Joe the Dumber.

  • carlgt1

    My guess is that the chicken-shit, cowardly RepugliKKKans are building up to a huge speech at the Repug National Convention where Mittens proclaims: "The only thing we have – is fear itself!"

    • bikerlaureate


      Took me a couple re-reads… but I would buy the t-shirt if you decide to popularize that motto.

    • Mact of the fatter is if you put that on a tee shirt, a lot of people would want to buy it.

    • Negropolis

      This is so full of win….

  • rickmaci

    You know who else gave speeches full of hate and bigotry that inspired his mentally unbalanced followers to take to the streets and do crazy things?

    • Blueb4sinrise


      • rickmaci

        Which one you talking about? I recall that Zeus could cop some really mental attitudes about non-olympians.

        • Blueb4sinrise

          The one 'he am who am' or somethin like that. I fergit.

          • rickmaci

            OH. You mean the one that ghost wrote the book "Leviticus."

          • Blueb4sinrise

            Okay, if you say so. I though Thomas Hobbes wrote that though.

          • Popeye?????

    • SorosBot


      • My father's house has many Mansons?

        • Negropolis

          Well, many folks do find Jesus in prison, so that makes sense.

    • Troglodeity

      Sarah Palin?

    • RadioBowels


    • SorosBot

      Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh?

    • bikerlaureate

      George Wallace ?

    • Did they really wait for ME to show up and say it? Did they? (peeks through fingers)

      I can't bear to look!

      Oh, fuck it. Hitler.

      • bobbert

        We always wait for you.

    • Ronald Reagan?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Bin Laden?

    • Negropolis

      Post-60's Marion Shepilov Barry?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Tammy Duckworth is going to wipe the floor with Joe's ass so bad that he's going to have to don one of his ex-wife's dresses, hitch his skirt up, and flee the country to escape the utter shame and humiliation.

    • If it was good enough for Jefferson Davis, it's good enough for Joe.

    • Limeylizzie

      If possible, I would like the opportunity to kick him in the testicles before he leaves.

      • James Michael Curley

        Get out there and do it! Tammy looses her balance when she tries.

    • Negropolis

      King Louis XVI & Marie Antoinette libel!

  • Wilcoxyz

    I hope we can fight this in Elk Grove so we don't have to fight it in America.

    Attention radical Islam: the battleground to destroy America is in Elk Grove. Joe Walsh is our leader.

  • PhilippePetain

    We should actually hope for more of this, until every one of these nutters just goes batshit illegal-style crazy and then we can lock them up, forever, the end.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Please, crazy people, protect us from this national threat that is Joe Walsh…. Please….

  • Baconzgood

    He's right. Every Friday the libyan place across the street closes from 1-2 for prayer, thus threating me to go to the shitty hot dog cart if I'm unwilling to wait for them to open (respecting their freedom to practice their faith). That's how cunning these cats are. They are attacking my small intestines every week by making me eat a shitty chili dog off the douche bag from the Bronx.

    • Boojum

      Thereby trampling on your religious freedom, to not have them do that.

  • GhostBuggy

    Yeah, that's right, the new front in the jihad is fuckin' Addison.

    Nobody tell Deadbeat Joe about Dearborn. His head would explode.

  • Troglodeity

    Until Joe Walsh puts out campaign posters with mosque locations depicted in crosshairs, he's only an amateur.

  • mavenmaven

    "What's a few innocent deaths when I'm trying to get reelected?"

  • MonkeyMotion

    Walsh/Bachmann 2016.

    Together we'll wipe out sanity.

    • sewollef

      Sanity's a few miles west of Elk Grove, right?

      In which case, I advocate nuking it from space. Just to be sure.

  • ph7

    The high velocity air rifle was powered by the pressure vacuum in Walsh's empty skull.

  • Rotundo_

    What a magnificent example of Republican Congressional Leadership! Joe should be held up as a model of why America is in the state it's in and praised. Although I would settle for his being held up at any number of places in the Chicago Metropolitan area.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Held up by a noose.

      Of VOTES!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Joe Walsh holds Town Hall meetings in his head to save on catering.

  • barto

    Of course, the real victim here is Joe Walsh, not the security guard (or the people he was "guarding", haw!).
    Now poor Joe will have to pretend to "apologize" for his delusional paranoia – or not. I'm guessing not. Still, he remains the injured party.

    • PubOption

      It is surely not a good thing that the Muslim Education Center is in need of a security guard.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Huh, this is probably pretty much what went through Wade Michael Page's head, too.

  • bikerlaureate

    QFT –

    It would be irresponsible to say that Joe Walsh is directly responsible for this attack, but not as irresponsible as Joe Walsh is when he talks about Islam, so that’s something.

    That sentence is a thing of beauty, Jesse.

  • ElPinche

    Walsh is dangerous to families, wives, and children. Walsh lives a miserable existence as hopeless loser, and he's taking out on Muslims.. and this country for that matter.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    If Walsh was a Democrat Romney would call him Ba-walsh-loney.

  • satyricrash

    Life's been good to Joe so far.

    • kittensdontlie

      But they say he's crazy.

    • This one, not so much.

  • Tundra Grifter

    I think we all need to regularly revisit this Report:

  • Did he say what he wants to do about it?

    • Barrelhse

      Hey, Joe…

    • bobbert

      He don't wanna talk about it.

    • Negropolis

      No, because following up baseless accusations with actual actions would just be gauche.

      Fuckin' cowards, the lot of them.

  • zippy_w_pinhead

    I liked him much better when he was with the James Gang. As part of the GOP Gang he kinda sucks…

  • MissTaken

    In Islam fathers are required to pay child support, that is why Joe Walsh hates it.

    • kittensdontlie

      He hates America for the same reason.

  • Wait, I thought we had to fight them over there so we wouldn't have to fight them over here.

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      Aha, but they were sneaky and were here all the time!

  • BlueStateLibel

    Slightly off topic, but not maybe not, the best description ever of today's Republicans from "Games of Thrones" author: "They are oligarchs and racists clad in the skins of dead elephants."

  • owhatever

    His proof is that … uh …

  • Nostrildamus

    Cutting off terrorist funding must be his rationale for skipping out on child support.

  • PubOption

    The smoker you drink, the more bigoted you get.

  • James Michael Curley

    Stop hating on this guy and start beating on him.

    He won in 2010 by only 291 votes in a district which was less democratic then he has now. Also he is up against Tammy Duckworth whom he grossly insulted.

    In the 6th district Duckworth lost in 2006 only because her opponent, Peter Roskam, ran a significant number of ads stating she was an intruder because she lived in an apartment a few blocks out of the district. Illinois like many other states has no requirement that the candidate live in the district.

    Duckworth has a squeaky clean rep and this sleazeball is heading for a fall.

    Hell, he even looks like a teabag that's been left in cold water too long.

    • James Michael Curley

      Wow, I can reply to my own comment! I forgot to mention that Roskam used doctored photographs of Tammy that highlighted her less than WASP appearance. She is the daughter of a man whose roots go back before the Revolutionary war and a Chinese-american woman he met in Thailand while a career military man.

      • horsedreamer_1

        She is Tiger Woods?

        I say keep this adulteress out of Washington!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Seems to me that the real terrists are the nutbags outside the mosques, firing in.

  • joe walsh is just just awful. morally and politcally bankrupt, unaccomplished, bombastic, smug, hypocritical…

    i will be very pleased if this tool goes down. (and am helping tammy to that end.)

    • bobbert

      He's a schmuck, too.

    • I'm so proud of you for doing this! I wish I could walk precincts for Tammy. I love my Reps and I'm ok with all my congresscritters most of the time, and they're all going to win anyway. Congratulations, and I hope Tammy wins in a landslide. Send pitchers!

      • well thank you. it feels like something i can do – i'm in a solidly blue (in fact, ex rahm, ex blago ) district. my vote almost never counts. in 2008, we braved MI for bamz. this year we're helping tammy and MAY consider IOWA. don't think i can brave MI militias in the age of baggers and birthers.

        • Makes me wish I wuz young and mobile again. I think we sent Tammy some $$, and I follow her on Twitter, and of course I follow Joe and delight in sending him daily messages pointing out what a fucking LOSER he is. (Personally I think saving up all my bile for him makes it easier to be nice to the rest of the world.)

          But if there's anything you can think of that I can DO to help, please let me know. I think Tammy would be a FINE Congresscritter, and definitely superior to that loudmouthed deadbeat child-starving swine.

  • mosjef

    They're putting flouride in the water to sap our precious bodily fluids.

    • Don't tell Dr. Zoom, AKA General Jack Ripper.

  • miss_grundy

    This jerk should get together with the Republican a$$hat that is in my book & film library discussion group, since they both are terribly paranoid about Muslims but not about crazy white men with guns.

    • Misty Malarky

      Does ever he suggest RED DAWN or BEDTIME FOR BONZO for the weekly viewing?

  • gullywompr

    I hate Illinois Nazis.

  • foxpuppet

    "One thing I’m sure of is that there are people in this country…"

    I actually am surprised to find myself in agreement with Joe Walsh on anything, but I have examined this pronouncement carefully, and cannot disagree.

  • Negropolis

    I can tell you without even a hint of a doubt that I'm far more afraid of the radical Michigan Militia, Christianist and white supremacists next door to me in Livingston County than I am of anyone in Dearborn. Jus' sayin'.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Terry & John Nichols actually took down a Federal Building. Rima Fakih only gave me a boner.

      • Rima Fakih could give a *dead* man a boner, dood.

  • foxpuppet

    If you're interested in getting this guy fired, please consider supporting Tammy Duckworth's campaign:

  • subsum

    When you look at the likes of Joe Walsh you really gotta pause and acknowledge that mental illness is a devastating epidemic in this country. People who may otherwise seem fully functional walk around experiencing overwhelming mental storms that prompt them to just open their mouths and say whatever comes out without any regard to logic or reason. Joe Walsh is obviously one of them. The man needs help. It really must suck to be him.

  • I go to church in Elk Grove Village, and have sent links to the original news story to the vicar (a vicar, we has one). I'd like to propose some kind of fast-breaking feast with local Muslims and everyone else… This crap from Walsh has to be answered with love (and an awesome buffet).

    Oh, Tammy, you've got to beat this guy, hard. He's just embarassing us.

    • Good on ya. These worthless fucks must be shown up to be worthless fucks by the sheer human decency of the people around them. I can't wait for Walsh to subside into the primordial ooze from whence he came, I'm sure.

  • banana_bread

    For the record, I spent my entire childhood in Addison and Radical Muslim was not one of the prevailing stereotypes. If he really wants to rile up Addison, he needs to talk about one of the following Addison stereotypes: Italian Guido, Greek Asshole, Mexican Gangbanger and That One Black Guy Over There.

    For my money, I'd go with the Messicans because they are brown and close enough right?

  • BZ1

    Tammy Duckworth do your thing!

  • RadioBowels

    OT and BTW. Hey Romney, how did that criticism of the London Olympics work out for you?

    • Fukui-sanYesOta

      London is perhaps the most multi-cultural city in the world. Walking even in previous years in Covent Garden, say, or along the south bank of the Thames, one routinely encountered a dizzying multitude of languages and a profusion of faces found in no other single place on the planet.

      Aw, I'd say NY and SF are up there.

      Aside from that, every single UK colleague of mine is frankly uncomprehending that Americans could possibly vote in Willard over Bammaz.

      Not that it'll happen

      edit: and I need to talk to you. Gimme a bit.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Sounds a lot like the #7, rolling through Queens.

        • New York was the second city I fell in love with. I could live there, if not for winter.

      • RadioBowels

        Yes, NYC and SF are up there. I'm not much of a world traveller, but you named my top three.
        Full disclosure: I live near DC.

      • London was delightfully and *remarkably* cosmopolitan when I was there. It was wonderful to be meandering through the streets listening to polyglot rhythms. Malaysian Chinese conversing in fluent Cantonese and Hokkien, Greeks and Lebanese and all kinds of Mediterranean tongues, the French girls who served us oysters at a bar, the chattering, incomprehensible Poles, tiny Pakistani doll-child girls in full shalwar kameez. It was a Blade-Runnerish city of the future.

        • Fukui-sanYesOta

          It's a wonderful, beautiful city and I love it so much. Between the architecture, the museums, the history and the multiculturalism, there's nowhere the same. Others are similar for similar reasons, as I've mentioned, but it's not like anywhere else.

          One evening I ate very good Vietnamese food and then saw the Queen at the Royal Ballet. Not many places you can do that … although I believe I ate Mexican before seeing the SF Ballet's excellent Romeo and Juliet.

          There's a vibrancy, a vitality, about cities like NY, SF, London. It's stunning.

          I'd love to see somewhere like Hong Kong, or Tokyo, or Buenos Aires to see whether it's anything like the same.

          • When I was in HK lo, these many aeons ago, it was a bright, spirited, funky, stinky city, with red-cheeked mainland Chinese running underground business in the streets while the gwai lohs lived it up in the so-veddy Colonial buildings. It's changed some since then, but still has a wild and crazy vibe, I'm told. Tokyo's quite the challenge if you can't *read* Japanese, or was a couple decades back. Check out Singapore, Jakarta, Manila, Bangkok, they've all grown more cosmopolitan and busier than ever.

  • tessiee

    Shorter Joe Walsh: "I hate Illinois Muslims".

  • Pat_Pending

    So… If I'm not supposed to take JW at his word, is he just joshin' us? He doesn't really mean there's a threat? Is this satire? Irony? Word salad?

    I would be so THRILLED if the hate-y folks had little pop-up video comments next to their faces so the rhetoric impaired could figure out what to do next. Kill or laugh, Kill or laugh…

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Muslims are trying to kill Americans?

    I had no idea so many Muslims were NRA members.

  • DahBoner

    Today's GOP: FEAR, HATE, GREED

  • ttommyunger

    Hmmmmm. Judging from the pictures, it appears to be the same eleven people showing up at every one of this fuck-wad's speaking engagements. That would explain a lot…

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