‘Joe’ The ‘Plumber’ Will Shoot All Your Mexicans For You, Arizona

by Doktor Zoom

Sam seems to want attention. Class, let's all give Sam our full attention.Samuel Wurzelbacher emitted one of his periodic publicity-grunts the other day while campaigning in Prescott AZ for Republican state House candidate and pointing-guns-at-people enthusiast Lori Klein. Since the self-designated Raging Id of Conservative America found himself in Arizona, he apparently thought it a good location to say something inflamatory about Mexicans, so he said this:

“I’m running for Congress. How many congressmen or people running for Congress have you heard, put a fence up and start shooting? None? Well you heard it here first. Put troops on the border and start shooting, I bet that solves our immigration problem real quick.”

To everyone’s complete surprise, many found the comments offensive, while a few nodded and praised Wurzelbacher for his refreshing honesty, because murderous bigotry is part of the great American dialogue, isn’t it?

Here is video of Wurzelbacher saying the thing, and several Arizona polical figures responding to the thing:

We mostly just want to hug Meghan McCain for saying, in a media environment rife with selective editing,

“When you’re making statements like that, it’s cheap and it’s easy and it will get a lot of attention very quickly. But anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.”

She knows EXACTLY what you filthy-minded blog people are going to do with that.

[Raw Story / KTVK]

 

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{ 138 comments }

Maman August 14, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Does this moron understand that shooting over the border is considered an act of war.

JustPixelz August 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Helpful SAT hint: Any question starting with "Does Joe the Plumber understand …" can be answered "no".

Jessica Sideways August 14, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Maybe he figures that if L. Ron Hubbard could shoot torpedoes at an uninhabited Mexican island without Mexican retaliation, he could shoot a few illegal immigrants.

nounverb911 August 14, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Careful Joe they might shoot back. We armed them well.

JustPixelz August 14, 2012 at 1:32 pm

By "they", I assume you mean the Mexican Army who might misinterpret bullets flying into their country and countrymen as an act of war.

ChernobylSoup August 14, 2012 at 1:31 pm

You know who else was cheap and easy?

nounverb911 August 14, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Lori Klein?

Not_So_Much August 14, 2012 at 1:39 pm

She looks like a Shar Pei.

SexySmurf August 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Meghan McCain?

nounverb911 August 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm

John McCain?

JustPixelz August 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Bristol Palin. Of course, that answer itself is cheap and easy.

Beowoof August 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Paul Ryan

SorosBot August 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Lionel Richie?

ChillBill August 14, 2012 at 1:42 pm

That "Wonkville" site?

Callyson August 14, 2012 at 1:43 pm

The GOP politicians who were purchased by the Kochs?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Nikki Haley?

proudgrampa August 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Hell, I'M cheap and easy!

CindynEncinitas August 14, 2012 at 4:04 pm

RepreSENT, Grampa!

proudgrampa August 14, 2012 at 5:30 pm

"Yo, we all represent the hood, the only difference between us is that we make this shit look good." – Keith Murray

widestanceromance August 14, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Me, I guess, since the photo leaves me wanting my borders crossed and my heartland plundered.

shavian August 14, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Apparently Samuel "RPG" Wurzelbacher

LetUsBray August 14, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Hitler, during his failed stint as a rent boy?

UnholyMoses August 14, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Your mom?

(Sorry — had to.)

HistoriCat August 14, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I may be easy but I'm not cheap!

Or is that I may be cheap but I'm not easy?

Incitefully_Joe August 14, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I am! (for Meghan McCain, at least)

But don't worry! I'm either interesting, or I last a while!

rocktonsam August 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

fingers crossed for Willow

satyricrash August 14, 2012 at 7:42 pm

You guessed it—Frank Stallone.

JustPixelz August 14, 2012 at 1:31 pm

When your only tool is Stand Your Ground®, every problem looks like someone who needs to killed.

CrunchyKnee August 14, 2012 at 1:32 pm

It is funny that these mouth breathers like Wurzelbacher never complain about "undocumented workers" being brought over from Africa by our founding fathers.

Generation[redacted] August 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm

What? They complain about them all the time!

JustPixelz August 14, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Before the Civil War, Southerners argued the blahs were better off under slavery than free. They thought the blacks would never be accepted in the larger white economy and culture. (One editorial writer mocked the very idea of equality saying sarcastically it would lead to a black president.) Northerners thought the same thing. Some states outlawed (or tried to outlaw) free blacks from residency except as servants. There were schemes to send freed slaves to Africa. But they didn't want to leave America, the homeland that both enslaved them and freed them.

It's 150 years since the Civil War and acceptance is still a work in progress.

fishskicanoe August 14, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I'm sure he's in favor of them self deporting.

widestanceromance August 14, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Receipts don't count as documentation?

IncenseDebate August 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Meghan, sometimes cheap and easy is fun. Like a bottle of vodka, a bag of Doritos, and thou.

Chet Kincaid_ August 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

That "thou" really classes it up. I would go with the Tostitos® Artisan Recipes® chips, also.

CindynEncinitas August 14, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Do they come in "baked?"

Callyson August 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Um, I hate to snark on a reporter who is covering a serious issue, but honey, you need a bra or something…

…then again, the straight dudes here might disagree with me on that…

Oblios_Cap August 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I disagree with you.

IncenseDebate August 14, 2012 at 1:37 pm

I disagree. I think she has a couple of good points to make.

fartknocker August 14, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Meh. Either show me a VPL (visible panty line) or go home.

Zepster August 14, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Hey Joe, she's packing a couple of snub nose revolvers!

MosesInvests August 14, 2012 at 2:59 pm

A pair of 38's-and a gun, too!

Doktor Zoom August 14, 2012 at 1:55 pm

It's Arizona. Air conditioning is necessary for survival.

Exhausted66 August 14, 2012 at 1:57 pm

See, I skipped the video but then had to go back and watch it.
Thanks for the heads up.

UnholyMoses August 14, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I see what you did there …

+1

GeorgiaBurning August 14, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Ratings, baby, ratings. Besides, it's after 10 PM and still over 100 outside, poor girl needs to be comfortable

Fairtackle August 14, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Now I finally have something good to say about Arizona.

bumfug August 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm

"…anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.”
Oh, yeah? Bristol Palin would beg to differ – she's lasting just fine, thank you very much.

MissTaken August 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm

But anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.

True, but I still watch free internet porn.

Oblios_Cap August 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm

But anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.

Who said I wanted it to last?

Not_So_Much August 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Joe the Dumber.

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Joe Walsh would like a word with you. Just a monosyllabic word…

kittensdontlie August 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I felt the sting of Meghan's 'cheap and easy' comment personally, and it hurts…

Oblios_Cap August 14, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I love the little Hitler figurine in his kitchen at the :59 mark.

Callyson August 14, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Isn't that an oven mitt?

JFC…

Oblios_Cap August 14, 2012 at 1:46 pm

i'm really not sure what it is.

SorosBot August 14, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Well at least it's not like Arizona hasn't had several instances where multiple people have been killed because vile lunatics decided to "start shooting".

TavariousChinaSmith August 14, 2012 at 1:38 pm

There's no problem that can't be solved by shooting at it. Take poverty for instance.

IncenseDebate August 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

I think that's a paraphrase of a Stalin quote.

proudgrampa August 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Reminds me of the old joke about participating in the War on Poverty: throw a grenade at a beggar.

Wish I could remember who said that.

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Possibly Pat Paulsen?

proudgrampa August 14, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Pat might have said it, but I think the quote was from earlier than his era.

I can't swear to it, but I think it was Jackie Vernon. This should give you an indication of how old I REALLY am…

TavariousChinaSmith August 14, 2012 at 7:23 pm

I think you're both very old and have a very good memory. I looked up that quote on Google, and spent a good while on it too. I found it attributed variously to "a comic", "a comic on the Ed Sullivan Show", "a bumper sticker", Pat Paulsen, Rodney Dangerfield(!), Jackie Mason, and Jackie Vernon.

The earliest reference was from The Lowell Sun, July 1966, when I was but a wee baby, and listed "When LBJ declared war on poverty, I went out and threw a hand grenade at a panhandler," among other direct quotes from Jackie Vernon. So I think it must've been him. Good on ya, Grampa!

sbj1964 August 14, 2012 at 1:40 pm

By the time Mittens,and Ryan are done it will be Americans trying to cross the boarder for a better life.

Beowoof August 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Why Joe, how will that go over with your campaign in Cleveland. You are going to get trounced there and then you might have to go back to doing something. I think mopping toilets at the homeless shelter would fit.

Callyson August 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm

"anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.”

Maybe, but Joe the Plumber's fifteen minutes are almost as long as Palin's fifteen minutes were…

el_donaldo August 14, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Joe Walsh and now "Joe" the "Plumber." Teabaggers sure got an urge to shoot up some brown-skinned peoples. Can't think of any reason why – it's not like there's a brown-skinned person whooping their asses in some form of a competition or a contest or something like that, is there?

mrpuma2u August 14, 2012 at 2:18 pm

If the contest were brains or common sense, then yes, Joe the Plunger would in fact be getting his ass whupped by most browns.

Schmannnity August 14, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Shoot North, Joe.

elviouslyqueer August 14, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Bless her heart, but Lori Klein really needs to take her Luger and kill that rabid badger sitting atop her head.

Oh, sorry. "kill" WITH VOTES.

MissTaken August 14, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Sam Not the Plumber's declaration of War on Mexico is just to solidify his position of Secretary of State in the Romney administration.

SorosBot August 14, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Are you sure he's not looking for a position in James K. Polk's administration?

SayItWithWookies August 14, 2012 at 1:43 pm

So Joe the Plumber is advocating a — whaddycallit? — Maginot line. Yeah, great idea. I'll just wait here while you completely fucking relearn history to figure out why that's not such a great idea.

Generation[redacted] August 14, 2012 at 1:49 pm

The Maginot Line failed because France had gun control and socialized medicine. Everyone knows that!

mavenmaven August 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I was, frankly, unable to follow the story after seeing Stacey Delikat, who appears *ahem* somewhat aroused by the story. I'm in a swooooon…

Goonemeritus August 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

While do appreciate Ms. McCain’s statement I don’t believe it is the only or even the largest reason to be compelled to offer her a hug of a borderline creepy duration.

WhatTheHeck August 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Before the red-neck Bedouins of Arizona start to shoot the messicans, they need to hire them to build the damn fence on the cheap.
Did’t think of that, did you, Joe?

TootsStansbury August 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

When I see 'Wurzelbacher' I think of either one of those cheesy electric keyboards from back in the day or 'warzelarglebargle'.

Jus_Wonderin August 14, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Bra Glare Gazer Well

StealthMuslin August 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

To be fair, it sounds like a pretty awesome way to solve our Arizona problem.

Estproph August 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Joe the Plumber solves the unemployment problem: shoot the unemployed

Joe the Plumber solves the crumbling infrastructure problem: shoot the bridges

Joe the Plumber solves the drop out rate problem: shoot the children

SexySmurf August 14, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Joe the Plumber solves his failing Congressional campaign problem: shoots himself.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

So, Joe the Plumber's solution to the immigration problem is to kill people and declare war on Mexico.

But when will he turn his attention to our real threat from the teaming Canadian hordes?

HistoriCat August 14, 2012 at 2:20 pm

You know who else ended up fighting a two-front war …

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 2:37 pm

George W. Bush?

PhilippePetain August 14, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I'm cheap and easy, and it is true that I don't last that long. Megs has me pegged. I can't stop! Innuendo!

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 1:46 pm

[I'm]cheap and . . . easy and . . .will get a lot of attention very quickly. But . . .come[] cheap and easy[.] [P]robably [not] that interesting and [I'm not] going to last

As edited by the Romney campaign.

Dr_Zoidberg August 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Who would Jesus shoot?

Incitefully_Joe August 14, 2012 at 2:19 pm

After this comment, probably Sam the Non-plumber.

But only because he'd be standing his ground.

Amanwithnoplan August 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Moran

elviouslyqueer August 14, 2012 at 1:47 pm

I continue to astonish myself about the sheer number of fucks I don't give about Joe the Plumber.

RadioBowels August 14, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Or shits.

Jus_Wonderin August 14, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I, like you, stopped counting the fucks long ago. Same for Sarah, though if had continued counting it would be somewhere in the eleventybillion.

Kid_Charlemagne August 14, 2012 at 1:49 pm

If elected, Joe the Plumber promises to sponsor legislation that will create a Cross Border Shootin' Czar.

Generation[redacted] August 14, 2012 at 1:50 pm

pew! pew! pew!

gullywompr August 14, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Sorry Joe, I didn't hear it there first. No points for originality.

proudgrampa August 14, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I no longer believe that the "Plumber" is who he says he is. Plumbers have to be smart enough to be plumbers. This guy is a fucking idiot.

Oh. And i would LOVE to hug Meghan McCain.

iburl August 14, 2012 at 2:06 pm

well, he's not actually a plumber, so you are correct.

ElPinche August 15, 2012 at 12:31 am

You and me both grampa. She may be dumb, but those tittays aren't dumb.

ManchuCandidate August 14, 2012 at 1:57 pm

He could have taken that 100% US Amercian piss and vinegar to Iraqinam or the Big A as part of W's World Idiot Tour but he probably don't like it when the brownies he wants to shoots, shoots back.

GeorgiaBurning August 14, 2012 at 2:28 pm

He's in Prescott, too. A very, very safe distance away from the border.

ElPinche August 14, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Joe , you silly cromagnon fuck, do you know what that'll do to our drug trafficking relations with Mexico? You're stepping on Brewers and Perry's toes.

I'm on Team Megs since she allows mexicans to suckle her: http://celebtweeting.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/

proudgrampa August 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Jeez, those are nice casabas.

Some guys have all the luck!

johnnyzhivago August 14, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Thems Arizonians they do loves theres shoot'n sticks!

barto August 14, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I don't get it. If you have a fence what are you shooting at? Each other? The fence? Random directions like deranged lunatics? Yeah, that's it. Random directions like deranged lunatics. Nicely played, Sammy Weaselbarker.

Schmegeg August 14, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Jose el paisajista dice: corte su propia hierba de mierda.

shavian August 14, 2012 at 2:04 pm

So what else does Stacey and Yetta report on………..?

Comrade Wingtardd August 14, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Damnit! Now which one is "Joe the Dumber"? Your move, Joe Walsh. Stand your ground!

johnnyzhivago August 14, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Instead of building a fence on the border, we should move the border 100 miles INSIDE Mexico! Then build the fence!

That will teach them!

mwittier August 14, 2012 at 6:30 pm

It worked for Lucille Austero.

Comrade Wingtardd August 14, 2012 at 2:06 pm

“When you’re making statements like that, it’s cheap and it’s easy and it will get a lot of attention very quickly. But anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.”

This girl has a job writing? Keep showing your tits, Meg.

Comrade Wingtardd August 14, 2012 at 2:14 pm

This comment put up a fence around itself and just started fucking shooting

Wilcoxyz August 14, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Arizona news is like the all boobs team. Joe included.

Incitefully_Joe August 14, 2012 at 2:18 pm

You know what's funny? I don't even need to change my name, this time.

HistoriCat August 14, 2012 at 2:23 pm

She knows EXACTLY what you filthy-minded blog people are going to do with that

And now she is going to punish us. Punish us hard Meg – we've been oh so bad!

MLite August 14, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Wait, she's a State Senator running for a State House seat? You're doin it wrong!

GeorgiaBurning August 14, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Arizona term limits law- they don't like professional political hacks so they recycle the amateur ones.

MLite August 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm

So the cream rises to the top and the turds sink back down?

fuflans August 14, 2012 at 2:41 pm

does all women in AZ have to look like that?

Troglodeity August 14, 2012 at 2:52 pm

At least Wurzelbacher didn't say we should slaughter the 12 million illegal immigrants already in the United States. So, he's really a moderate by current Arizona standards.

T3rbo August 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

I think that was implied?

Shady_Esperanto August 14, 2012 at 3:03 pm

So, Meghan McCain basically called Sarah Palin cheap and easy, yes?

T3rbo August 14, 2012 at 3:16 pm

It's Joe the Plumber, guys. Odds are good that he has no idea how to build (or pay for) a gigantic two thousand mile long border fortress and the odds are better that he doesn't know how to shoot straight, he just wants both of those things real real bad.
To do list:
Become Plumber (too hard)
Make small limited federal gubbmint build and man gigantic border fortress, for
shooting browns
Learn how to shoot like Rambo
Learn how to run for higher office

LibertyLover August 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

When did Sam, the not plumber anymore, move to Prescott, AZ? We have enough crazy politicians down here, we don't need him, too.

Whew. Just found out he's running in Ohio.
WTF is he doing in Prescott?

rocktonsam August 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

doesn't matter, this is good news for Ohio

DahBoner August 15, 2012 at 9:11 am

That coke in Ohio don't get there all by itself!

Generation[redacted] August 14, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Remember kids, whatever challenges life throws at you, just put up a fence and start shooting, everything will be solved real quick.

T3rbo August 14, 2012 at 6:09 pm

I like to think of it as a huge fortress, not a fence. Kind of makes it more believable and awesome. Picture all of the rotating (and awesome) gun turrets, helicopter pads, etc., and you get the idea. It could even have a submarine base attached to it. Whatever it takes to keep Cobra Commander out, I am for. He was a mexican, right?

owhatever August 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Joe, get a job and leave us alone. You are one dumbass cracker.

glamourdammerung August 14, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Well, Not Joe the Non-Plumber has managed to avoid having to get a job for 3 years now due to insulting a black guy running for president. So trying to insult an entire country seems to be the next logical step. Otherwise, he might have to…work for a living.

BZ1 August 14, 2012 at 5:17 pm

‘Joe’ The ‘Plumber’ who is neither a plumber, nor "Joe", says something??

valthemus August 14, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Wurzelbacher for Congress! (Because the facile, inept, unconstitutional, internationally offensive ideas of knuckle-dragging half-wits are always the very best ones.)

Guppy August 14, 2012 at 5:42 pm

She knows EXACTLY what you filthy-minded blog people are going to do with that.

Oh, exploitable!

T3rbo August 14, 2012 at 6:12 pm

http://www.yojoe.com/catalogs/92/5.jpg I am voting for Joe the Plumber, his sweet shooting mexican wall is the only way I can think of that keeps small, limited federal government awesome

sullivanst August 14, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Oh quit it with your faux outrage. It's not like he said "chains" or anything.

ttommyunger August 14, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Joe is just one more pussyfart that doesn't understand the vast difference between shooting off the mouth and actually shooting human beings. What. A. Cunt.

DahBoner August 15, 2012 at 9:08 am

Which street corner does Joe the Dummer stand on?

I need some dirt moved out of Bossman's ditch…

proudgrampa August 14, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Wow. Thanks so very much for that, Tav.

Guess all those martinis haven't killed the grey cells, after all!

Cheers!

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