guns don't kill people joe the plumber kills people

‘Joe’ The ‘Plumber’ Will Shoot All Your Mexicans For You, Arizona

Sam seems to want attention. Class, let's all give Sam our full attention.Samuel Wurzelbacher emitted one of his periodic publicity-grunts the other day while campaigning in Prescott AZ for Republican state House candidate and pointing-guns-at-people enthusiast Lori Klein. Since the self-designated Raging Id of Conservative America found himself in Arizona, he apparently thought it a good location to say something inflamatory about Mexicans, so he said this:

“I’m running for Congress. How many congressmen or people running for Congress have you heard, put a fence up and start shooting? None? Well you heard it here first. Put troops on the border and start shooting, I bet that solves our immigration problem real quick.”

To everyone’s complete surprise, many found the comments offensive, while a few nodded and praised Wurzelbacher for his refreshing honesty, because murderous bigotry is part of the great American dialogue, isn’t it?

Here is video of Wurzelbacher saying the thing, and several Arizona polical figures responding to the thing:

We mostly just want to hug Meghan McCain for saying, in a media environment rife with selective editing,

“When you’re making statements like that, it’s cheap and it’s easy and it will get a lot of attention very quickly. But anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.”

She knows EXACTLY what you filthy-minded blog people are going to do with that.

[Raw Story / KTVK]

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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    1. JustPixelz

      Helpful SAT hint: Any question starting with "Does Joe the Plumber understand …" can be answered "no".

    1. JustPixelz

      By "they", I assume you mean the Mexican Army who might misinterpret bullets flying into their country and countrymen as an act of war.

        1. proudgrampa

          "Yo, we all represent the hood, the only difference between us is that we make this shit look good." – Keith Murray

    1. widestanceromance

      Me, I guess, since the photo leaves me wanting my borders crossed and my heartland plundered.

  1. JustPixelz

    When your only tool is Stand Your Ground®, every problem looks like someone who needs to killed.

  2. CrunchyKnee

    It is funny that these mouth breathers like Wurzelbacher never complain about "undocumented workers" being brought over from Africa by our founding fathers.

    1. JustPixelz

      Before the Civil War, Southerners argued the blahs were better off under slavery than free. They thought the blacks would never be accepted in the larger white economy and culture. (One editorial writer mocked the very idea of equality saying sarcastically it would lead to a black president.) Northerners thought the same thing. Some states outlawed (or tried to outlaw) free blacks from residency except as servants. There were schemes to send freed slaves to Africa. But they didn't want to leave America, the homeland that both enslaved them and freed them.

      It's 150 years since the Civil War and acceptance is still a work in progress.

  3. IncenseDebate

    Meghan, sometimes cheap and easy is fun. Like a bottle of vodka, a bag of Doritos, and thou.

  4. Callyson

    Um, I hate to snark on a reporter who is covering a serious issue, but honey, you need a bra or something…

    …then again, the straight dudes here might disagree with me on that…

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      Ratings, baby, ratings. Besides, it's after 10 PM and still over 100 outside, poor girl needs to be comfortable

  5. bumfug

    "…anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.”
    Oh, yeah? Bristol Palin would beg to differ – she's lasting just fine, thank you very much.

  6. MissTaken

    But anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.

    True, but I still watch free internet porn.

  7. Oblios_Cap

    But anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.

    Who said I wanted it to last?

  8. SorosBot

    Well at least it's not like Arizona hasn't had several instances where multiple people have been killed because vile lunatics decided to "start shooting".

  9. TavariousChinaSmith

    There's no problem that can't be solved by shooting at it. Take poverty for instance.

    1. proudgrampa

      Reminds me of the old joke about participating in the War on Poverty: throw a grenade at a beggar.

      Wish I could remember who said that.

        1. proudgrampa

          Pat might have said it, but I think the quote was from earlier than his era.

          I can't swear to it, but I think it was Jackie Vernon. This should give you an indication of how old I REALLY am…

          1. TavariousChinaSmith

            I think you're both very old and have a very good memory. I looked up that quote on Google, and spent a good while on it too. I found it attributed variously to "a comic", "a comic on the Ed Sullivan Show", "a bumper sticker", Pat Paulsen, Rodney Dangerfield(!), Jackie Mason, and Jackie Vernon.

            The earliest reference was from The Lowell Sun, July 1966, when I was but a wee baby, and listed "When LBJ declared war on poverty, I went out and threw a hand grenade at a panhandler," among other direct quotes from Jackie Vernon. So I think it must've been him. Good on ya, Grampa!

          2. proudgrampa

            Wow. Thanks so very much for that, Tav.

            Guess all those martinis haven't killed the grey cells, after all!


  10. sbj1964

    By the time Mittens,and Ryan are done it will be Americans trying to cross the boarder for a better life.

  11. Beowoof

    Why Joe, how will that go over with your campaign in Cleveland. You are going to get trounced there and then you might have to go back to doing something. I think mopping toilets at the homeless shelter would fit.

  12. Callyson

    "anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.”

    Maybe, but Joe the Plumber's fifteen minutes are almost as long as Palin's fifteen minutes were…

  13. el_donaldo

    Joe Walsh and now "Joe" the "Plumber." Teabaggers sure got an urge to shoot up some brown-skinned peoples. Can't think of any reason why – it's not like there's a brown-skinned person whooping their asses in some form of a competition or a contest or something like that, is there?

    1. mrpuma2u

      If the contest were brains or common sense, then yes, Joe the Plunger would in fact be getting his ass whupped by most browns.

  14. elviouslyqueer

    Bless her heart, but Lori Klein really needs to take her Luger and kill that rabid badger sitting atop her head.

    Oh, sorry. "kill" WITH VOTES.

  15. MissTaken

    Sam Not the Plumber's declaration of War on Mexico is just to solidify his position of Secretary of State in the Romney administration.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    So Joe the Plumber is advocating a — whaddycallit? — Maginot line. Yeah, great idea. I'll just wait here while you completely fucking relearn history to figure out why that's not such a great idea.

    1. Generation[redacted]

      The Maginot Line failed because France had gun control and socialized medicine. Everyone knows that!

  17. mavenmaven

    I was, frankly, unable to follow the story after seeing Stacey Delikat, who appears *ahem* somewhat aroused by the story. I'm in a swooooon…

  18. Goonemeritus

    While do appreciate Ms. McCain’s statement I don’t believe it is the only or even the largest reason to be compelled to offer her a hug of a borderline creepy duration.

  19. WhatTheHeck

    Before the red-neck Bedouins of Arizona start to shoot the messicans, they need to hire them to build the damn fence on the cheap.
    Did’t think of that, did you, Joe?

  20. TootsStansbury

    When I see 'Wurzelbacher' I think of either one of those cheesy electric keyboards from back in the day or 'warzelarglebargle'.

  21. Estproph

    Joe the Plumber solves the unemployment problem: shoot the unemployed

    Joe the Plumber solves the crumbling infrastructure problem: shoot the bridges

    Joe the Plumber solves the drop out rate problem: shoot the children

  22. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, Joe the Plumber's solution to the immigration problem is to kill people and declare war on Mexico.

    But when will he turn his attention to our real threat from the teaming Canadian hordes?

  23. PhilippePetain

    I'm cheap and easy, and it is true that I don't last that long. Megs has me pegged. I can't stop! Innuendo!

  24. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    [I'm]cheap and . . . easy and . . .will get a lot of attention very quickly. But . . .come[] cheap and easy[.] [P]robably [not] that interesting and [I'm not] going to last

    As edited by the Romney campaign.

  25. elviouslyqueer

    I continue to astonish myself about the sheer number of fucks I don't give about Joe the Plumber.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      I, like you, stopped counting the fucks long ago. Same for Sarah, though if had continued counting it would be somewhere in the eleventybillion.

  26. Kid_Charlemagne

    If elected, Joe the Plumber promises to sponsor legislation that will create a Cross Border Shootin' Czar.

  27. proudgrampa

    I no longer believe that the "Plumber" is who he says he is. Plumbers have to be smart enough to be plumbers. This guy is a fucking idiot.

    Oh. And i would LOVE to hug Meghan McCain.

  28. ManchuCandidate

    He could have taken that 100% US Amercian piss and vinegar to Iraqinam or the Big A as part of W's World Idiot Tour but he probably don't like it when the brownies he wants to shoots, shoots back.

  29. barto

    I don't get it. If you have a fence what are you shooting at? Each other? The fence? Random directions like deranged lunatics? Yeah, that's it. Random directions like deranged lunatics. Nicely played, Sammy Weaselbarker.

  30. Comrade Wingtardd

    “When you’re making statements like that, it’s cheap and it’s easy and it will get a lot of attention very quickly. But anything that comes cheap and easy probably isn’t that interesting and isn’t going to last.”

    This girl has a job writing? Keep showing your tits, Meg.

  31. HistoriCat

    She knows EXACTLY what you filthy-minded blog people are going to do with that

    And now she is going to punish us. Punish us hard Meg – we've been oh so bad!

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      Arizona term limits law- they don't like professional political hacks so they recycle the amateur ones.

  32. Troglodeity

    At least Wurzelbacher didn't say we should slaughter the 12 million illegal immigrants already in the United States. So, he's really a moderate by current Arizona standards.

  33. T3rbo

    It's Joe the Plumber, guys. Odds are good that he has no idea how to build (or pay for) a gigantic two thousand mile long border fortress and the odds are better that he doesn't know how to shoot straight, he just wants both of those things real real bad.
    To do list:
    Become Plumber (too hard)
    Make small limited federal gubbmint build and man gigantic border fortress, for
    shooting browns
    Learn how to shoot like Rambo
    Learn how to run for higher office

  34. LibertyLover

    When did Sam, the not plumber anymore, move to Prescott, AZ? We have enough crazy politicians down here, we don't need him, too.

    Whew. Just found out he's running in Ohio.
    WTF is he doing in Prescott?

  35. Generation[redacted]

    Remember kids, whatever challenges life throws at you, just put up a fence and start shooting, everything will be solved real quick.

    1. T3rbo

      I like to think of it as a huge fortress, not a fence. Kind of makes it more believable and awesome. Picture all of the rotating (and awesome) gun turrets, helicopter pads, etc., and you get the idea. It could even have a submarine base attached to it. Whatever it takes to keep Cobra Commander out, I am for. He was a mexican, right?

  36. glamourdammerung

    Well, Not Joe the Non-Plumber has managed to avoid having to get a job for 3 years now due to insulting a black guy running for president. So trying to insult an entire country seems to be the next logical step. Otherwise, he might have to…work for a living.

  37. valthemus

    Wurzelbacher for Congress! (Because the facile, inept, unconstitutional, internationally offensive ideas of knuckle-dragging half-wits are always the very best ones.)

  38. Guppy

    She knows EXACTLY what you filthy-minded blog people are going to do with that.

    Oh, exploitable!

  39. ttommyunger

    Joe is just one more pussyfart that doesn't understand the vast difference between shooting off the mouth and actually shooting human beings. What. A. Cunt.

  40. DahBoner

    Which street corner does Joe the Dummer stand on?

    I need some dirt moved out of Bossman's ditch…

Comments are closed.