TRICKLING DOWN  1:35 pm August 13, 2012

Ryan Plan: Mitt Romney Would Create All The Jobs If We Taxed Him Only .82 Percent

by Kris E. Benson

Romney waving around the money he will later use to light his cigar.Hello, have you all spent this weekend getting used to a world in which a Romney/Ryan presidency is an actual possibility? Well, given that you’ve probably gotten used to a world in which Romney not paying taxes is an actual possibility, we’d say you’ve made some serious progress! See, under the Paul Ryan plan, Mitt Romney’s tax rate would IN THEORY be 10%, but in PRACTICE it would be somewhere between 0 and 1%. Now before you get pissy about that, just stop and think of all the jobs Romney would be able to create if he paid a .82% tax rate instead of 13.9%! Oh, how the wealth would trickle down! Car elevators and dancing horses for everyone!

In 2010 — the only year we have seen a full return from him — Romney would have paid an effective tax rate of around 0.82 percent under the Ryan plan, rather than the 13.9 percent he actually did. How would someone with more than $21 million in taxable income pay so little? Well, the vast majority of Romney’s income came from capital gains, interest, and dividends. And Ryan wants to eliminate all taxes on capital gains, interest and dividends…

Ryan would cut the top marginal tax rate from 35 to 25 percent and get rid of the Alternative Minimum Tax — saving Romney another $292,389 or so on his 2010 tax bill. Now, Romney would still owe self-employment taxes on his author and speaking fees, but that only amounts to $29,151. Add it all up, and Romney would have paid $177,650 out of a taxable income of $21,661,344, for a cool effective rate of 0.82 percent.

But WAIT, if people like Mitt Romney would only pay a 0.82% tax rate, how would we fund things like oh, say, building and maintaining our bridges and our freeways, or our bloated military industrial complex, or social programs like Pell Grants and the SCHIP program and whatever else? The answer, of course, is that we would raise taxes on Poors and also would just give up on non-defense related government programs, which is only fair seeing as the government has already helped anyone worth helping anyway (*cough* Paul Ryan *cough*).

It might seem impossible to fund the government when the super-rich pay no taxes. That is accurate. Ryan would actually raise taxes on the bottom 30 percent of earners, according to the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center, but that hardly fills the revenue hole he would create. The solution? All but eliminate all government outside of Social Security and defense[.]

Enjoy this moment while it lasts, America! It will be remembered as the day the GOP accomplished what terrorism, Communism, and World War II couldn’t, and what climate change hasn’t yet. USA! USA! USA!

[The Atlantic]

 
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{ 171 comments }

Pragmatist2 August 13, 2012 at 1:37 pm

And if we tax him only 0.5% we can all have TWO jobs! We will need them because our taxes will double.

nounverb911 August 13, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I'd prefer that Romney was taxed at 82%.

ChillBill August 13, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Why do you hate "success" so much?

RadioBowels August 13, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Why? Do you want to live in the 50's again?

weejee August 13, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Well a lot of the Conservtards want to go back to the Leave it to Beaver era, so why not do that with the taxes also, too?

Terry August 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

82% sounds good. How about he also be rogered with a pine cone? It won't change the economy, but it will be viscerally satisfying.

Gleem McShineys August 13, 2012 at 4:56 pm

GOOD JOB, NOW WE KNOW YOUR WONKETTE USERNAME, MITT!!
I mean "Terry"

Terry August 13, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I wasn't being sarcastic. At all. Pine cone. Bunghole.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 14, 2012 at 1:00 am

First thing you have to do is suggest doing it so you can get that annoying as hell stupid laugh he lets out anytime something less than personally satisfying occurs…that will make the end result while gross and disturbing even more viscerally satisfying around him (usually questions)…then we go find the 6 Koch brothers and see if its as fun with them….maybe pull the stick out of Sheldon Adelson's ass and replace it with pinecone…Eduardo Saverin can see if Brazillian and American pinecones work…Foster Friess…god the list is endless!

deanbooth August 13, 2012 at 3:46 pm

That's how most of the Republicans base would read it. They don't teach decimals until the 9th grade.

Misty Malarky August 13, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I bow to the wisdom and superiority of Romney/Ryan.

Now where's my goddam dancing horse?

nounverb911 August 13, 2012 at 1:40 pm

It's on the roof of Mitt Force One coming home from London.

glasspusher August 13, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Flying horse == Pegasus

kittensdontlie August 13, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Look for trojan horses to arrive, concealing Romneyhood's taxman for the poor.

Boehneriffic August 13, 2012 at 2:45 pm

What's the old line? "With all this horse shit there must be a pony somewhere."

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 14, 2012 at 1:04 am

Well after the plane lands and the terrified horse ("no he had a great time riding up there…") crate is lifted down the Romneys will then shock the bejesus out of his testies for failing Lady Anne…then with what's left of the horses flesh and sanity…you can have 'im because to the RMoneys he's a useless loser anyway. The bright side is you'll create many jobs at the vet trying to repair the damage done to poor Rafalca…and the RMoney's will try a Saudi Arabian horse enriching the Bin Laden family just a tiny bit more…it's synergy!

nounverb911 August 13, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Is visiting my money in my Swiss bank account tax deductible?

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Not exactly, but the private jet you fly there is.

Callyson August 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

No, but it counts as foreign policy experience.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 14, 2012 at 1:06 am

if Mittens has his way it'll be subsidized AND count as military service during combat…you'll get the Scrooge McDuck-Mittens' Money-Tea Party medal of honor and then can become the next GOP emperor..er, Preznit.

hagajim August 13, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Why do people keep buying into this Chicago school farce of trickle down economics. Has never worked, will never work and the only thing trickling down on those who are dumb enough to believe in it is the feces being scraped off the wealthys asses as they continue to shit on you.

IonaTrailer August 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Trickle down? It's more like a fine mist.

BaldarTFlagass August 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Of piss.

ProgressiveInga August 13, 2012 at 1:52 pm

and santorum.

Biff August 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Is that what's emitting from Ryan's dead deer's nostril?

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Chicago School "economists" will be among the first of those up against the wall during the Glorious Workers Revolution!

James Michael Curley August 13, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Yet Milton Friedman, the Chicago School Economist who created the Chicago School, advocated a Negative Income Tax policy whereby those who were the poorest would be paid by the government (as opposed to paying taxes to the government) so that there would continue to be a class of which was comprised people whose Propensity to Consume was 100% and thereby promoting his and other 'free market' theorists interpretation of Stabilization Theory.

Funny how as soon as a Democrat adopts a traditional Republican policy such policy becomes anathema to said Republicans. Welcome to a world where one of the two major political parties has the maturity and self image of a two year old.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Everything you need to know about the legitimacy of Chicago school "economics", you can learn by studying the three core assumptions underlying all their models:

1. All economic actors are perfectly rational;
2. All economic actors possess perfect information;
3. All economic actors are immortal

Surprise! When you make these assumptions, your models do not match the real world. Spooky, huh?

Incidentally, the third assumption isn't that well know, at least, I didn't know about it until I saw an excellent little piece by Paul Krugman where he exhibited that not only is it sad how very little basic awareness freshwater economists have of saltwater models and methods, but in fact it turns out that they apply so little critical thinking to their own models that saltwater economists understand them better.

Nostrildamus August 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Chicago economics is like physicists modeling the human body as a perfect sphere.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Also, perfectly elastic, unbreakable and infinitely stiff

Silly me, I forgot the fourth assumption:

4. All economic actors have perfect access to all capital markets

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Rosie_Scenario August 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Well, the bodies of many U.S. Americans are approaching that of a perfect sphere so . . . .

BlueStateLibel August 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm

The interesting thing is that the guy who I think was the architect of the whole bullshit fairy theory, David Stockman, renounced the whole thing a few years ago.

GeorgiaBurning August 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Like the Marxists, they will say that it hasn't worked because we didn't do enough of it. What is it Einstein is supposed to have said about the definition of insanity?

BerkeleyBear August 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

When a "scientific theory" is based on the same rationale as why a Christian Scientist thinks people get cancer or how Tinkerbell's pixie dust doesn't always let kids fly (namely, that you didn't believe hard enough), it may just be time to chuck that one in the dustbin and start over.

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 2:03 pm

You are in violation. Use of "Chicago" as a negative political adjective is reserved for Obama's uplifting and inspirational thuggery, not for the ruinous economic theories of a certain South Side institution where nobody ever tans and fun goes to die.

1stNewtontheMoon August 13, 2012 at 2:30 pm

because, just as with organized religion, it's easier than understanding the concepts behind the truth (or accepting the truth for that matter).

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I guess it was only a matter of time until we broke up like the USSR did.

nounverb911 August 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm

And that would be a bad thing?

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm

it's looking better and better.

HistoriCat August 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

For you maybe! Expect a flood of us refugees from Dumbfuckistan and Jesusland.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Inward migration of other nations' best and brightest is precisely how the Union came to be the most prosperous nation on earth. As it was, so shall it be.

Maybe we'll get really lucky and the dumbfucks from up here will pass you by in the other direction.

emmelemm August 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Cascadia now!

IonaTrailer August 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Maybe Mexico would take back Texas if we threw in Oklahoma too?

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I think they'd probably prefer cash considerations or a player to be named later.

GeorgiaBurning August 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Ectopia Emerging!

Callyson August 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm

And now we know why Ayn Ryan was picked over Marco Rubio…

WhatTheHolyHeck August 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm

You know what? Just burn it all down.

We deserve what we get for allowing this kind of lunacy to be normalized to the point that it wins congressional elections. This is literally why we can't have nice things (like civilization).

IonaTrailer August 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

"Goddamn you kids, this is the reason we can't have nice things"

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Civilization is an invention of foreigners and therefore must be condemned!

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Yeah, Sid Meier is a dirty Canadian! Playing Civilization is supporting foreigners.

HistoriCat August 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Sure sometimes … but you can usually count on those damn foreigners to stab you in the back the first chance they get. Ungrateful bastards. See if I let you have a role in the Alpha Centauri mission.

WhatTheHolyHeck August 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Reporter: What do you think of western civilization?
Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.

Whatever August 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Just burn it all down.
That's been my plan all along, now where is that voting booth.

sbj1964 August 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm

.82% is more taxes than Mitt has paid in years.According to Harry Reid.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I also read that multiple times on the internet.

MissTaken August 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Will selling my kidneys count as capital gains, too?

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Your liver will hold its value better. But you have to quit drinking right now.

Callyson August 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Shit, there goes my retirement plan…

BerkeleyBear August 13, 2012 at 2:15 pm

No, no, no. We can't let you have critical decisions about your health and body be dictated by anything as crass as money. So you'll go to jail if you try to sell them – and if you try to get a biotech firm to pay you a royalty for the billions of dollars they make off materials derived from your tissues, they'll tell you to fuck off.

MissTaken August 13, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Ah yes, today we are all Henrietta Lacks

BerkeleyBear August 13, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I was thinking of hairy cell leukemia guy, but the immortal Henrietta works, too.

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

"She wants to make a decision about her own body? Hahahahaha!" — State Legislatures Everywhere

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 14, 2012 at 1:09 am

Only if a wealthy capitalist buys them…then it will be their capital gain and deserve both a deduction AND subsidy…you can just learn to live without your filteration device which allows you to uh…live. Oh well! at least you'll have contributed to the Tea Party vision of America…Charles Dickens won't have shit on us! (wow…I'm bitter tonight…)

freakishlywrong August 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Obama is also a racist, too.

ChillBill August 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Coincidentally, 82 is Ryan's IQ.

FNMA August 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Feeling generous today?

BerkeleyBear August 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

It's probably warm where Chillbill is. Ryan's IQ strikes me as hovering right around ambient temperature (at least until it gets hotter than 95 degrees or so).

emmelemm August 13, 2012 at 2:53 pm

So, you're saying he's a lizard person?

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

His climate denialism when there's snow on the ground is profoundly stupid, so you might well be right there.

AutomaticPilot August 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Yeah, and he's known as the smart Republican.

Callyson August 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Ryan wants to eliminate all taxes on capital gains, interest and dividends.
Romney, of course, criticized this idea when Newt Gingrich proposed it back in January by pointing out that zeroing out taxes on savings and investment would mean zeroing out his own taxes.

Jesus, Mittens is not even *trying* to hide his flip flops anymore…

Biff August 13, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I think I earned somewhere around $13.00 in interest last year. I'ma be fucking rich!

freakishlywrong August 13, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Why should he? The fearless media sure as shit doesn't call him on it. And when Obama does, it becomes "he said, she said" horseshit. They know this, that's why they do it.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

In my dreams, the debates are going to be an epic callout of Mitt's lies. In my dreams, Obama's response to everything Mitt says will be that you can't believe a word this liar says.

mwittier August 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm

But I thought the entire notion of the Tea Party was anti-taxation. I thought the governing principle of the GOP was less government. I thought that the nation's wealthy were out there right now, trying to create new jobs. I thought Jesus was kind and loved sinners.

I must have had one of the unrevised textbooks.

UnholyMoses August 13, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Dear America,

We tried this shit known as the Ryan plan before, as have other nations through the years. It has failed each and every time.

So knock it the fuck off already!

Sincerely,

Math

P.S. It did work well for the rich. Too bad history did not, as Marie Antoinette will attest. Or could, if she still had a head.

IonaTrailer August 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Big gubbermint is bad, an taxes is too high. So if we all do our own meat inspection, air traffic control, interstate highway construction and hold garage sales for the stuff we barter for – problem solved.

HeadsIWin August 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Climate Change/Class Warfare 2012!

Doktor Zoom August 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

America has a gay Army General, so there's nothing worth saving anyway. [/Freeper]

freakishlywrong August 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Hello, have you all spent this weekend getting used to a world in which a Romney/Ryan presidency is an actual possibility?
No. Not really. No, I really haven't fucking gotten used to it.

widestanceromance August 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I've just learned to turn it off.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

You should be on Markos' mailing list:

Subject: Obama is winning. Period.

Matthew, yes, Romney just announced his VP pick. And yes, it's never over until it's over, and we have to fight all the way through Election Day. But the fact is, we are winning.

Mitt Romney is a disaster for Republicans, the first GOP nominee in modern history to have higher negatives than positives. His every interaction with regular Americans (and heads of state, for that matter) has ended in an insult. He was a bully when he was younger, and he's a bully now. Even conservatives don't like him.

The numbers are starting to show this. Two different national polls released this week show President Obama ahead by 7 points. A third national poll—from Fox News!—puts Obama up by 9 points. Add up all the national polls, and Obama leads by almost six points. Further, swing state polls show him with 332 electoral votes compared to only 206 for Mitt Romney.

Does that feel better now?

I'm definitely strongly considering dropping some coin into his "upgrade the Senate" fund, looks like a good bunch of candidates.

widestanceromance August 13, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I'm actually fairly confident about Obama winning for all my despair. You know the old saying about how Americans always do the right thing, but only after exhausting every possible wrong thing?

The waiting room for that is just so damn awful is what I mean, I guess.

fuflans August 13, 2012 at 5:02 pm

we went to canada.

Dr_Zoidberg August 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

How do these people live with themselves?! How do they face themselves in the mirror day after day without vomiting?

freakishlywrong August 13, 2012 at 2:05 pm

They are vampires. (No mirrors).

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm

That'll cure the obesity epidemic! I can see it now – Mystery Meat Mondays, Trashpick Tuesdays and Thursdays, Water-only Wednesdays,Foodless Fridays, Shoe Leather Saturdays, and Suck it Sundays.

Blueb4sinrise August 13, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I think Water-only Wednesday is going to involve getting to lick the dew off the scrap of plastic bag you found.

Or rather, alternate years. The other years we'll be looking for a dry spot on high ground.

Oooo. CAVES! That's it.

GeorgiaBurning August 13, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Save those medicare coupons, your fourth stomach pump is free when you sell a kidney.

BaldarTFlagass August 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Paying such a low tax rate will do nothing but stimulate all the poor people to get off their asses and get rich!!!

SayItWithWookies August 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Yeah I heard Romney and Ryan try to explain this last night on 60 Minutes — it was like getting a lecture from Sarah Palin on the history of the Peloponnesian Wars.

NorthStarSpanx August 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Or why the taxpayers should bail out big bad banks?

Palin: That's why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, we're ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health-care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy, helping the….uh, oh, it's got to be all about job creation, too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health-care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans. And trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, um, scary thing. But one in five jobs being created in the trade sector today, we've got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.

kittensdontlie August 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm

That was a perfect channeling of Palin, but now you need to wash your mind out with soap, and rinse and repeat…

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Not so much a channeling as a verbatim quoting. She actually said that.

kittensdontlie August 13, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Anyone reading that should seek psychoactive medicinal treatment immediately. Don't wait until it festers.

chicken_thief August 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Did she fight those from a helicopter? Or just see the battleground from her porch?

terriblyfamous August 13, 2012 at 2:31 pm

If Sarah Palin can pronounce "Peloponnesian" correctly, then I'm a gay Army General.

Maman August 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

That's the plan. Give the rich guys all the money and then depend upon their largesse. That is worked so well in the past!

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm
Mittens Howell, III August 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

.82%% = too much. Why do Ryan/Romney hate the job creators?

PuckStopsHere August 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Pitchforks or hammer handles, people? You can no longer afford both.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Pitchforks, of course. They're a classic, and they have more reach. Plus, stabby.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 14, 2012 at 6:49 am

On the downside, concealed carry is really awkward.

sullivanst August 14, 2012 at 10:30 am

Not a problem, since concealing them would defeat the point somewhat, no?

fartknocker August 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

In the accent of a young English boy:

Please Sir Romney, may I have another tax increase?

NorthStarSpanx August 13, 2012 at 1:47 pm

This pick has pissed off the Palin Conservatives something fierce:

davidfrum ‏@davidfrum

Ryan vs Palin: For GOP base, it's like marrying Miss Right and suddenly discovering you no longer miss that crazy ex-girlfriend

Michael ‏@CoolChange80

@davidfrum Shut up you liberal piece of shit. Romney / Ryan can go to hell.

viennawoods13 August 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm

They're going to start remembering that Frum is really a Canadian.

NorthStarSpanx August 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Reagan himself could come back from the dead and give some sort of perceived slight or lackluster support and they'd go about burying him all over again.

BerkeleyBear August 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Palin is so po'd personally she's announced she's not speaking at the RNC. Shit, they had to all but hip check her to keep her from upstaging McCain's concession speech, so she's gotta be seriously bent out of shape over this.

bobbert August 13, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Well, they pretty clearly hadn't invited her to speak, so her announcement was more like "you can't fire me, I quit".

terriblyfamous August 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I, for one, am glad to know that selecting the person who will sit one heartbeat away from the presidency is roughly equivalent to sifting through match.com profiles.

Mittens Howell, III August 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I'm buying up cat-food stocks all week.

GeorgiaBurning August 13, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Expect the ingredients to finally match the label

kittensdontlie August 13, 2012 at 2:23 pm

You're the cock-eyed optimist! Myself, I am deep in dog food futures.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I just felt something trickle down the back of my neck. It's either hot today or there is now some jobs soaked into the back of my t-shirt.

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

But remember, it's only class warfare when we non-rich complain about being fucked over.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 August 14, 2012 at 1:35 am

Very true…when the 99% of tax paying Americans take offense at the ridiculous, European Feudalist views and policies of assholes like Sir Mittens…we're "class warriors" who are jealous of their success and are anti-American. When they manage to dodge every single tax they're "smart"and "patriotic". Jesus, even Nitsche wasn't this callous and willing to worship the rich.

mwittier August 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

So why don't we give significant tax breaks to anyone who can document that they've created lasting, new jobs, once they've done it.

You know, rather than massive tax breaks to those who promise they are thinking about it, really, really, hard while they golf and drink the blood of serfs?

sharethegrief August 13, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I think there was something similar before the House about giving tax breaks to companies who kept employing, you know, Americans. Bet you don't know what the House did, right?

mwittier August 13, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Voted to symbolically repeal "Obammerkeer" a sixth time, instead?

Hammiepants August 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I guess by "trickle down" they actuallly mean "piss directly on our faces"?

Gleem McShineys August 13, 2012 at 5:13 pm

I think once they only have to pay 0.82% in taxes, they can then create a job the where a specialized technician ("oh, piss-boy!") throws the bucket in your face, without any visage of you people ever potentially soiling the pristine optical nerves of the blessed job creators.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 13, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Ah, Republican America. Where everyone can dream of some day making enough money that you can not pay taxes and tell the poor and middle class to go screw themselves.

emmelemm August 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Personally, I'm counting on winning the lottery. Then I'll be all, "Screw you bitches!"

Biel_ze_Bubba August 14, 2012 at 6:46 am

Your odds of success will better than those of the working class, if these fuckwads are elected.

orygoon August 13, 2012 at 1:51 pm

shitshitshit, every time I see another photo of this guy or his Eddie-Munster veep pick, I run outside and hoe a weed or two in my survival garden. Then I look for a gap in the dirt somewhere–did some greens bolt and need pulling out? There's a space to put in a couple of seeds on the fall planting list. Rutabagas, anyone? I know how to make them more palatable than the GOP platform.

Forgive me for being just a tad jumpy.

emmelemm August 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I was just asking my mom yesterday, about a bare patch of dirt in her yard that is, unfortunately, quite shady: "Do you think we could grow potatoes back here, even with the shade?"

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I know how to make [rutabagas] more palatable than the GOP platform.

I could list a hundred ways, starting with "marinate them in battery acid". Perhaps most simply, "pull them out of the ground and put them, unwashed, on a plate" also clears that bar with ease.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Slightly OT: From Rasmussen Reports : "The announcement [of Ryan as VP] so far has had little impact on the numbers."

Now part of that is the foolishness of Romney killing his own story by leaking it late on a Friday, and then announcing early on a Saturday in summer during the Olympics when no one wanted to think about politics.

Still, if Scott Rasmussen says that Romney is getting no bounce, you have to figure in legitimate polls, he is losing a few points as we speak.

whiskeybaby August 13, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Exactly how self-loathing would you have to be to vote for these two sociopaths?

terriblyfamous August 13, 2012 at 2:35 pm
sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Self-loathing enough to not even want to be alive any more, then.

freakishlywrong August 13, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Well, seeing that we "middle class" are the only fuckers in the country paying for it right now, who the fuck is Paul Ryan? And I'll spend my money any damn way I want, assholes.

Baconzgood August 13, 2012 at 1:57 pm

This fuckey fuck fuck head is only listened to because he's eye candy….ohhhhhhh he's soooooooo dreamy though.

widestanceromance August 13, 2012 at 2:11 pm

If only. Something about him reminds me of Witchy-Poo.

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Who thinks Ryan is dreamy?? Women who write to convicts?

RadioBowels August 13, 2012 at 1:58 pm

0.82% rounds up to 1%. Coincidence?

kittensdontlie August 13, 2012 at 1:59 pm

How can we be taxing our job creators so harshly?! If anything they should be recieving tax credits which would be redirected from the poors with children. "All for one and one for none"–Romneyhood

BerkeleyBear August 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

"All for me and fuck you, assholes!"

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I would like to claim my money as a dependent.

BlueStateLibel August 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm

How about Paul Rob-em and Mitt Rmoney take a long walk off a short pier instead?

glasspusher August 13, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I love these guys:

No new taxes!
Don't cut defense spending!
Lower taxes on the rich (because it's done such a bang up job already!)
The deficit is out of control (last republican in office turned a surplus into a deficit)

…all with a straight face

BerkeleyBear August 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

No new taxes! (for the rich)
You poors need skin in the game! So new taxes for you!
You soon to be olds need to die faster! So no Medicare for you!
You soon to be olds will die faster! So no Social Security for you!
Dressage pony rides for everyone who is left (and can afford to give me 50k in campaign contributions).

UnholyMoses August 13, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Ya know, I'm trying to find the snark in all this. I really am.

But I just can't.

These fuckers are SERIOUS about this shit. They really want to screw over everyone not in the top 1% in an effort to create desperation for the rest of us — a desperation so deep that we'd be willing to accept China-levels of pay and be thankful for it.

And the willfully ignorant rightwing fucktards will go along with it out of sheer spite of Those Not Like Them.

They honestly think that if they punish The Poors and The Browns and The LIEberals often enough, they will magically find themselves palling around with Mittens and Co. In reality, they will never earn enough to cover health care and energy and roads and education and bridges and all the other shit private companies will charge us — at ten times the current rate — in order to fill the vacuum left by Ryan's destruction of our government.

It's a cynical and abhorrent way to view the role of government, and just might do what disease, natural disasters, world wars, and terrorist attacks couldn't': destroy all that America was and could be.

I just … fuck. Fucking shit fuckity fuck fuck fucking fuckers goddamn fuck.

fuflans August 13, 2012 at 4:58 pm

i really believe this is why romney has been so vague about his platform. though i have no idea why he's essentially announced his intentions now, by picking the teabagging boy wonder.

MissTaken August 13, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I'm going to vote Romney/Ryan so when I win the lottery I can be taxed at .82%, too!

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

But lottery winnings are income, and taxed at normal rates! They want to make sure that even when the poors win, they still can't do as well as the fuckers living off inherited wealth.

GeorgiaBurning August 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

OTOH, in a Romney/Ryan administration, the statute of limitations for tax fraud will only be two years, right?

Gleem McShineys August 13, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I would assume that tax fraud is one of those unnamed onerous regulations that needs to be repealed.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 14, 2012 at 6:43 am

There will be no taxes, hence no tax fraud, on AGI's over a million dollars. Fucking over the 99% is now officially the GOP platform.

T3rbo August 13, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Look, how do you propose we dismantle our government in its current state? It still works relatively well, so it must be starved of cash so that it stops functioning FIRST. Er, I mean, there ain't enough jobs, what for all them taxes on nice white folks like Mr. Romney which goes to welfare queens and such. (you can say it two ways, but only one version of the Ryan narrative tricks the required number of dummies, so take your pick)

BZ1 August 13, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Why stop there, why not 0% for Mitz; show us your tax returns, ya' bum!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 14, 2012 at 6:40 am

It certainly would simplify the tax code. "If line 49 is over $1,000,000, congratulations! Rip up this form and ask your butler for a martini."

Weenus299 August 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

If they declare me capable of joining them in millionairing around the world, tax-free style, I would be only too happy to accept a .82 percent tax rate for My Beloved Abortion-Free Country, Sans Queers.

Jus_Wonderin August 13, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I am not sure, I don't have a mirror at my desk (who does, really?) but I think my ears are fuming smoke.

Nostrildamus August 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Car elevators and dancing horses for everyone!

Fixed.

Redhead August 13, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Oh Jesus Christ people. Seriously?

johnnyzhivago August 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

It's unfair that Mitt should pay anything given all the jerbs he's creating. How about a provision for him to take the oldest child from every American as a thank you?

Guppy August 13, 2012 at 2:21 pm

When discussing tax rates in a Romney administration, we'll all have to learn new words like permil (‰) and permyriad (‱).

DahBoner August 13, 2012 at 2:22 pm

If Rich People get all this "FREE MONEY", then the next day America will wonder if they really love us or maybe we just got used???

el_donaldo August 13, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I'm assuming that all these new jobs would be basically working for the Romneys cleaning horse poop out of the car elevator.

Incitefully_Joe August 13, 2012 at 2:38 pm

So, here's a naive question: If rich people really were assumed to be job creators, and really were actually taxed based on their incomes, then wouldn't it be a better idea to raise taxes on them? Because then they'd be encourage to reinvest in businesses (including payroll) to lower themselves into another tax bracket, isntead of just bleeding their businesses dry in inexpensive profits.

I mean, I don't have Paul Ryan's economics background (I went to a much better school, but only minored), but it just seems like, even if you buy into the alleged assumptions behind the Ryan plan, the idea of a)eliminating most of the tax brackets and b) incentivizing the looting of businesses by businessowners is incoherent even on a Micro level.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Speaking of Ryan's economics degree… Wow, U Miami (OH) does teaching alongside its hoops and football programs? Who knew?

Fucking freshwater "economics". Grr!

bobbert August 13, 2012 at 5:54 pm

This is Miami of Ohio, and not The U, but still.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Hence the (OH), but yes, Miami U (OH) would I suppose be a more correct designation.

horsedreamer_1 August 13, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Proud alma mater of Ben Roethlisberger. Harf! (That's central Ohio speak for Derp.)

BoroPrimorac August 13, 2012 at 5:57 pm

If you want to subsidize the rich, then shut up and write a check to the IRS.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 14, 2012 at 6:37 am

Mitt hasn't figured out that the 99% is 99% of the electorate. Math is hard.

ttommyunger August 14, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Face it, 33% of Registered Voters would vote R if Charles Manson and George Gonzales were their Ticket.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Guess I got out long enough ago not to remember that. Still remember this, though. "Happy" grade school memories!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 14, 2012 at 6:51 am

Anyone reading saying that should seek psychoactive medicinal treatment immediately. Don't wait until it festers.

FIFY

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