GRIFTERS GONNA GRIFT  4:40 pm August 13, 2012

Florida GOP Primary Raises Level Of Campaign Discourse To ‘Slut’

by Doktor Zoom

I can has civilitee?How on earth has Your Wonkette not previously been aware of Florida congressional candidate Osvaldo “Ozzie” deFaria (R-Arkham Asylum) before now? The self-funded contender for the GOP nomination to run against Debbie Wasserman Schultz in District 20 has already depicted the DNC chair wearing a dog collar and said at a conference that “we must send her back to the pound.” (We cannot be certain, but we think maybe he is calling Wasserman Schultz a bitch. Do you think he is calling her a bitch? Possibly.) Now he has taken to screaming at supporters of Karen Harrington, his opponent in the GOP primary, whom he also calls a slut. Oh, yes, and he’s also had a couple of domestic violence charges. IS IT TOO LATE TO RETHINK THAT VEEP CHOICE, MR. ROMNEY?

So, just a few of this lowlife’s highlights :

  • In 2005 and 2006, deFaria was arrested on domestic violence charges after assaulting his wife’s boyfriend, Charles Seibold. (The deFarias were “on a break,” you see, and eventually divorced. Apart from the domestic assault, it’s pretty much like a sitcom!) According to the affadavits in the cases, in several separate incidents deFaria ripped Siebold’s sunglasses off his face and broke them, chased Siebold across a field, and told both Siebold and Elaine deFaria several times that he would kill Siebold. DeFaria insists that, despite these incidents, which resulted in a no-contact order, he now has “a very amicable relationship with his ex-wife.”
  • DeFaria’s website featured this ad (since removed) depicting Wasserman Shultz with a dog collar photoshopped onto her neck. Classy!
  • Subtle innuendo

    • While campaigning in the district, deFaria has been seen pulling up campaign signs for his opponent, Karen Harrington. At other times, he has gotten into shouting matches with Harrington supporters, including one voter who left a note on Harrington’s campaign website saying that, after she told deFaria that she was not interested in taking a brochure because she supported Harrington,

      He then said, your not interested in the mud slinging she is doing against me? I said, sir your [sic] the one doing the mud slinging. he got angry, and said loudly: Karen Harrington is a SLUT! I said, excuse me: Karen Harrington is a slut, that comment is exactly what I am talking about, your the one slinging mud. He got mad and he and the other three people in the SUV, sped off.

    • DeFaria also completely made up a Tea Party organization that he said supported him, and claims to be a successful businessman, although his business records are unavailable and he’s being sued by a campaign consulting firm for $23,000 in unpaid fees. That’s some party, that Party of Personal Responsibility!

    Is Ozzie deFaria a Great American, or what? For a moment, we thought maybe we had discovered the New Alvin Greene, until we noticed that this guy is A) actually running a serious campaign (for a certain value of “serious,” at least) and B) he is not some weirdo drafted by ratfuckers to run as a Demmycrat. Also, C) Jim already found the New Alvin Greene, and he’s a beaut. So instead, we will proclaim Ozzie deFaria the New Basil Marceaux. Except that some people may actually vote for him, because, well, FLORIDA, derp.

    [The Shark Tank]

     

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 133 comments }

Come here a minute August 13, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Ironically, Rep. Wasserman-Schultz will neuter Mr. deFaria. (With votes!)

orygoon August 13, 2012 at 4:44 pm

When I think of all those nice Union boys who died in the civil war to keep the South as part of our country, I get so sad and confused.

Pragmatist2 August 13, 2012 at 5:00 pm

No kidding. I don't think it is possible to name one thing that would be worse if we kicked out the Confederate States. Well slavery. OK – one thing would be worse.

Powerpuff_Grl August 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Ending slavery was a very good reason for it. Letting Texas become part of the U.S. on the otherhand wasn't our best decisions. Maybe we'll get lucky and Guv Perry will carry out his threat to secede! I'm guessing that O's reelection ought to be enough to get them to leave.

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 5:54 pm

The Black Belt and all the college towns stay with Real Liberal America, though. They'll build a big ass, multi-state Berlin Wall around them. And we'll airlift decent food and culture daily. Hillbillies will look in from outside, exhausted from their hardscrabble existence of working at Toyota and Tyson chicken plants for $10 a day, and envy their freedom.

Gratuitous World August 13, 2012 at 4:46 pm

yes, ladies. he's single.

miss_grundy August 13, 2012 at 10:20 pm

And he can stay that way!

tessiee August 13, 2012 at 10:46 pm

yeah, but only if he pays ALL his child support will he have a chance of dating SunShine Fox.

RadioBowels August 13, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Funny, he is only releasing his tax records for the last two years.

Extemporanus August 13, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Crazy, but that's how it goes

ChillBill August 13, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Today, we are all sluts.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 13, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Angry_Marmot August 13, 2012 at 6:51 pm

I may be easy but I'm not cheap.

M. Bouffant August 13, 2012 at 4:48 pm

That white type on black background is the best web design ever.

tessiee August 13, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Don't you mean a blah background?

ManchuCandidate August 13, 2012 at 4:48 pm

The Misadventures of Ozzie and Harrington

Jukesgrrl August 13, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I saw what you did there and I like it because I am old.

Geminisunmars August 13, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Osbourne and who?

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Wait, Ozzie's wife is named Sharon; where does this Harrington come from?

coolhandnuke August 13, 2012 at 4:48 pm

deFaria has matriculated from curmudgeon to crank to crackpot to full-on Bachmann Tinfoil Overdrive crazy.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Bachmann Turner-Diaries Overdrive libel!

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Nice.

sullivanst August 14, 2012 at 8:57 am

Just finally got around to confirming I can't claim credit for it, I think I first saw it on DKos relative to one-L, but the earliest cite on the front page of Google is from DU.

Negropolis August 13, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Bachmann The Protocols of the Elders of Zion Overdrive double-libel!

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Among researchers in Political Pathology, this is known as the classic deFaria Scale.

bumfug August 13, 2012 at 4:48 pm

What this country really needs is a good, old-fashioned plague.

foxpuppet August 13, 2012 at 5:18 pm

How would you describe Romney/Ryan, then?

Katydid August 13, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Frogs with boils falling out of the sky would be so cool!

Angry_Marmot August 13, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Ah, god, are we scapegoating the French again?

Geminisunmars August 13, 2012 at 5:30 pm

A virus looking for hot, moist climate would be best. (Any wonketteers looking to relocate can come live in my basement – in lovely, less bat-ass crazy [excluding Colo Springs] Colorado.)

HistoriCat August 13, 2012 at 5:44 pm

But what about Arizona?

Geminisunmars August 13, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Oh, crap. Forgot about AZ, and TX too. Brush-clearing viruses?

PhilippePetain August 13, 2012 at 6:48 pm

We all know that plagues are only for blaming on the queers.

Negropolis August 13, 2012 at 11:58 pm

That, or a good, old-fashioned fucking, excuse my French.

bumfug August 14, 2012 at 12:23 am

Just make sure you don't fuck somebody with the plague.

Texan_Bulldog August 13, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Excuse me, but Osvaldo “Ozzie” deFaria does not sound like the name of a true Amurrican. I think FL should demand to see his birth certificate.

emmelemm August 13, 2012 at 5:03 pm

And his skin is a little… dusky, if you know what I mean.

miss_grundy August 13, 2012 at 10:23 pm

He's probably a crazy Cubiche who has been out in the sun too long.

I_P August 13, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Wasserman Shultz in a dog collar is giving me the weirdest boner right now.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 5:02 pm

I know, right? Not that it matters what with me being over 1,000 miles from her district, but that image sure doesn't make me feel any less like voting for her…

YouBetcha August 13, 2012 at 5:22 pm

She's a stone cold fox.

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Allen West, is that you?

gogogodzilla August 13, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Funny. Me too. I'll be in my bunk.

horsedreamer_1 August 13, 2012 at 10:15 pm

She looks like she should be testifying at the PMRC hearings.

Fukui-sanYesOta August 14, 2012 at 12:03 am

Yeah, it's not just you.

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Kitties!

PuckStopsHere August 13, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Sure, the guy beats his wife. But does he skip on his child support payments? That's the true test of GOP leadership.

SayItWithWookies August 13, 2012 at 4:52 pm

It's probably an example of religious intolerance that the honorable Mr. deFaria is forced to campaign against slutoidal persons.

Tommy1733 August 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm

He must be another Vedic for Jesus.

bobbert August 13, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Opponent's campaign signs are against his creed.

Blueb4sinrise August 13, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I clicked over where there's a photo…
http://www.jrj-socrates.com/Cartoon%20Pics/Underd

memzilla August 13, 2012 at 4:53 pm

DeFaria… claims to be a successful businessman, although his business records are unavailable…

Those records are in the same secure undisclosed location that Mitt Romney's tax returns are in. Only Dick Cheney has access.

LetUsBray August 13, 2012 at 4:55 pm

So THAT's what's in the man-sized safe.

MissTaken August 13, 2012 at 4:53 pm

He's a 'Jobs Creator'. Just think how many people had jobs filling out the paperwork for his no-contact order and domestic violence arrest. That's how you create jobs.

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 4:59 pm

And he created jobs for campaign consultants; so what if he didn't pay them.

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 6:07 pm

It's The Dignity Of Work, not The Dignity Of Pay!!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 14, 2012 at 7:59 am

"Creatin' jerbs" — because it sure beats having one.

Wilcoxyz August 13, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Sluts are people too, my friends.

Tommy1733 August 13, 2012 at 5:06 pm

I want that on a bumper sticker.

Guppy August 13, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Works better as a tramp stamp.

Angry_Marmot August 13, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Got a new tattoo on the back of my neck: "Don't tug on my ears; I know what I'm doing."

tessiee August 13, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Grabbing somebody by the ears only ever worked for Bugs Bunny anyway.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 14, 2012 at 4:52 am

The greatest tramp stamp I've ever seen was the precise name to shout out during the act of congress. Clever girl.

Tommy1733 August 14, 2012 at 10:24 am

"Act of congress" – beautiful!

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 14, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Boehner?

CrunchyKnee August 13, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Uniquely republican.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 13, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Kitties scare me.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Florida's 20th has a Cook PVI of D+13. Sure, a couple of wifebeaters will vote for him, because violent misogynists gotta stick together, y'know, but DWS beat Harrington by over 20 points in 2010, even while Dems were being swept from the House.

BoroPrimorac August 13, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Debbie's district is affluent and Jewish, also.

Jus_Wonderin August 13, 2012 at 4:55 pm

The grey cat has an unfair advantage. His opponent, the brown cat, is fighting on a red napkin that is sure to be unsound footing.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 14, 2012 at 8:02 am

Grey cat maneuvered brown cat into that position. Grey cat is genius.

PsycWench August 13, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I can make up imaginary groups that support me? Wait til I tell the Committee for Giving PsycWench A Serious Raise.

GeorgiaBurning August 13, 2012 at 4:57 pm

That website looks like one of those adult newspapers they used to sell in front of post offices. Probably not a coincidence.

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 4:57 pm

So after calling his female opponent "slut" and implying bitch at the other, I would be surprised if this man doesn't let loose with the C-word at some point.

Geminisunmars August 13, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Cowardly? Communist? Ca-ca-crazy?

Guppy August 13, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Trollop?

bikerlaureate August 13, 2012 at 6:28 pm

C-i-a-l-i-s ?

horsedreamer_1 August 13, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Cromulent?

miss_grundy August 13, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Coño?

SpiderCrab August 13, 2012 at 5:02 pm

There but for the grace of Roosevelt and Social Security goes Paul Ryan.

miss_grundy August 13, 2012 at 10:31 pm

I thought that was Ayn Rand.

An_Outhouse August 13, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Answer: assaulting his wife’s boyfriend
Question: What is the one thing Randy Travis was not accused of.

elviouslyqueer August 13, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Ozzie, you ignorant slut.

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Also a pompous ass.

emmelemm August 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Never gets old.

Jukesgrrl August 13, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I know his name's Osvaldo and all, but are we sure he's not from Wasilla?

miss_grundy August 13, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Yes, Wasilla, Cuba, probably………

Negropolis August 14, 2012 at 12:04 am

I think Sarah can see Castro from her front porch.

Baconzgood August 13, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I am glad I don't live in FLA.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 13, 2012 at 5:05 pm

What a fool. He should be running against Allen West, because that district is willing to elect stark-raving mad idiots with anger problems.

GortRay August 13, 2012 at 5:06 pm

He sounds like the perfect Teatard. They'll be putting up statues of him in Chick Fil-A's all over the south.

MonkeyMotion August 13, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Geezus, there may be some benefit to global warming: drowning the entire state of FL…

foxpuppet August 13, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Does he call her Obama's biggest attack dog because he remembers how nasty she was about BO when she was supporting Hillary's candidacy?

Baconzgood August 13, 2012 at 5:07 pm

But he has a wonderful singing voice.

Toomush_Infer August 13, 2012 at 5:09 pm

She should just bite him in the throat….

HogeyeGrex August 13, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Everyone, of course, knows the difference between a bitch and a slut.

A slut will fuck anyone.

A bitch will fuck anyone but me.

Try the veal.

ChrisM2011 August 13, 2012 at 5:15 pm

It's Florida so I'm predicting a landslide win for this cock knocker.

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Sluts are good, decent, trustworthy people, unlike would-be Republican politicians, particularly major-league misogynists with big time anger management issues.

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 13, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Wait. I don't get it. What's wrong with being a big attack dog?

Me libel?

foxpuppet August 13, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Nothin' wrong with that at all, BSFD.

Just ignore the ranting tirades- Ozzie's from Florida & has clearly lost his mind. (Assuming he ever even had one.)

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 13, 2012 at 5:36 pm

It's mostly just those kitties making me nervous. They look mean!

HistoriCat August 13, 2012 at 5:49 pm

And don't you forget it …

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 13, 2012 at 7:08 pm

*whine*

Callyson August 13, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Oh, if he gets the nomination, Dianne Feinstein will be so jealous that DWS gets the crazy for an opponent.

Sorry, Senator, I did what I could for you in that open primary with Orly Taitz on the ballot…

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 5:39 pm

DiFi should have a harder time getting reelected, if there's any justice. DWS' record is scattered with centerism, but put her record next to DiFi's and she looks like Bernie Sanders in comparison.

Guppy August 13, 2012 at 5:21 pm

DeFaria also completely made up a Tea Party organization

As opposed to all the other, completely legitimate, grass roots Tea Party organizations?

Also, too: I find the image of Wasserman Schultz in a collar surprisingly easy to masturbate to.

owhatever August 13, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Ozzie is a bit too liberal to win a Florida Republican primary.

carlgt1 August 13, 2012 at 5:23 pm

draft de Faria/Zimmerman 2012 now!

NorthStarSpanx August 13, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I just fucking give up after I read he assaulted his wife's boyfriend. . .

anniegetyerfun August 13, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Divorced, eh? So, you think he's available?

Angry_Marmot August 13, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Also available for picnics, lodge meetings, children's parties, and smokers.

valthemus August 13, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Karen Harrington a slut? She's not unattractive, but she's definitely not slut-girl hot. Unless her saliva is, like, 80-proof, I just don't see huge numbers of men wanting to sleep with her when there are so many teen ho-bags available in Florida's many trailer parks. Clearly deFaria misspoke.

("R-Arkham Asylum"… Ha! Hilarious! I'm totally stealin' that.)

hagajim August 13, 2012 at 5:49 pm

♪♫ Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie and his sluts….♪♫

Who else is calling women sluts, at least one specific woman anyway….hint: his names rhymes with Smelton, oh – and that other fat pig boy on the radio.

fuflans August 13, 2012 at 5:55 pm

TX or FL!?!?! who will win!?!?!

Troglodeity August 13, 2012 at 6:08 pm

But the big question is, will he go by Osvaldo or Ozzie when he's elected?

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 6:20 pm

This guy sounds crazy/stupid enough to picket DSW locations by mistake.

Neoyorquino August 13, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Comedy gets more difficult each year. What used to be amusing because it was so absurd is now commonplace: http://youtu.be/k80nW6AOhTs

docterry6973 August 13, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Ozzie must be a teabagger's dream, but he had to make up a Tea Party organization that supported him? I think he is not trying hard enough. Oh, and more pictures of DWS wearing a dog collar would be helpful to me, if she doesn't mind.

bikerlaureate August 13, 2012 at 6:32 pm

While campaigning in the district, deFaria has been seen pulling up campaign signs for his opponent, Karen Harrington.

Were charges filed? Why not? If someone had video, would this ever be prosecuted?

How can people who claim to care about liberty, democracy and virtue even think about voting for this slimebag?

How about a law that takes a candidate off the ballot immediately, if said candidate is personally video'ed pulling up his opponent's campaign signs?

Angry_Marmot August 13, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Defaria thinks a slut is a woman who would rather sleep with anyone but him.

MinAgain August 13, 2012 at 7:37 pm

This is not entirely his fault. He just assumed that, when you run for office in a state shaped like a penis, you have to be a colossal dick, too.

GunToting[Redacted] August 13, 2012 at 7:46 pm

*you're

Doktor Zoom August 13, 2012 at 8:36 pm

[sic]'ed!

Mumbly_Joe August 13, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Interestingly, anagrams of "Osvaldo De Faria vs Debbie Wasserman Shultz" include,

A Allen West ambassador overbid fuzed shivs.

Shoves from Allen West subdivided a bazaars.

Fuck it, I couldn't get past the first thousand, but the point is that Ozzie De Faria is clearly Allen West's secret identity!!!

tessiee August 13, 2012 at 10:30 pm

In fairness to Ozzie, his ex-wife started it by looking at a picture of Mitt Romney on her computer, and saying that he was "just dreamy".

tessiee August 13, 2012 at 10:56 pm

"Slutting is fun!" — MST3K, "Hobgoblins"

tessiee August 13, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Any word on how Ozzie feels about female Olympic athletes?

angelfoot August 13, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Oooh, you can download an 8×10 head shot of Ozzie from his website! Marvel at the the hi-res nose hairs and spots he missed while shaving.

Negropolis August 13, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Conservative, Jobs Creator, and Candidate for Congress

So, so, so down the rabbit hole we've gone…Jobs Creator makes me want to shoot myself…with votes.

But, honestly, while I eschew violence, it's definitely conditional. This is the kind of guy that needs a good, phyiscal bop in the nose. This is the only way some bullies learn.

BZ1 August 14, 2012 at 12:10 am

Another proud moment for the GOP!

DahBoner August 14, 2012 at 7:16 am

Most cats don't know how to walk the dog…

ttommyunger August 14, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I am constantly amazed at the hi-jinks some folk will perform to get a job that I wouldn't have if offered on a silver platter….The meetings, the suits, the having to deal with politicians and lobbyists.

HistoriCat August 13, 2012 at 9:48 pm

(Nuzzles BSFD) it's ok doggie – you just stick with us and things will be ok.

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