Have you ever wondered if Department of Homeland Security chief Janet Napolitano likes vag? You probably have wondered that. She is asked if she is lesbionic all the time, by everyone, just constantly. Well, now comes a lawsuit from a guy who was demoted after Napolitano took over at DHS, so she could replace him with a woman, Dora Schriro, with whom she had a “long-standing relationship.” Also, some crazy person keeps calling subordinates on the telephone and screaming that she wants to blow them? That doesn’t sound very lesbian, but whatever, it is very sexually harrassy (and weird!).
So Obama and Napolitano come in, James T. Hayes Jr. gets demoted and replaced, and sues because whatever.
In court papers filed in Washington federal court, Hayes says [Dora] Schriro — who previously served as director of the Arizona Department of Corrections under Napolitano — was named a “special adviser” to Napolitano on detention and removal operations in February 2009 and began to replace him at DHS and ICE meetings.
“Schriro was not as qualified for the position plaintiff had because of lack of federal law-enforcement experience,” Hayes’ suit says.
“Schriro did have experience, however, working with Secretary Napolitano. Schriro enjoyed a long-standing relationship with the secretary.”
The suit doesn’t detail the nature of their relationship.
That is pretty damning, all right, Napolitano hiring someone she’d already worked with for a long time. WHO WAS A LADY. Also it is clear that being replaced by a woman means ipso facto that you were targeted because you were a man. Why else would a man be replaced by a woman unless there was stark obvious sexism at play, or worse, affirmative action? That is just so obvious it shouldn’t even need to be said. Then there’s this other hilarious chick:
The court papers also allege that Suzanne Barr, Napolitano’s chief of staff at Immigration and Customs Enforcement, has engaged in “numerous” acts of “sexually offensive behavior” intended to “humiliate and intimidate male employees.
Barr’s alleged acts include calling one man “in his hotel room and screaming at him that she wanted his ‘c–k in the back of [her] throat.’
Now, who wouldn’t take that in the generous spirit with which it was obviously intended?
[NYPost]





{ 152 comments }
"Barr’s alleged acts include calling one man “in his hotel room and screaming at him that she wanted his ‘c–k in the back of [her] throat.’ "
Yeah, men HATE when you do that!
Yeah! I'll be outraged if you did that to me. I double dog dare you!
I know I certainly do, which is why such treatment should be reserved for when I have been behaving badly, and need to be punished.
Awwwwwww, has someone been reading Fifty Shades of Gray??????????
Nah, I ain't need to read smut lit to have, well, Interests.
Fifty Shades of Grey – the literary equivalent of crack.
Me third!
P.S. Barr's not unattractive.
Looks like she may have a cock or two lodge back there in her throat.
If not, I'd volunteer in a heartbeat.
She does have that Britney Spears in 2030 about her, yes? (Assuming she doesn't OD before that).
Perhaps this man's penis would not reach the back?
Unless it were, er, dislodged somehow…
*shudder*
Why is it that every women does that? Can't they control themselves instead of always demanding our essence?
Really puts the "suck" in "succubus"!
Speaking for most men I would like to point out that our aversion to casual sex stems from a fear of being objectified. Also would it kill you ladies to spend a few minutes cuddling afterwards?
Cuddling only takes time away from frying bacon for your club sandwich.
I do love me some club sammich’s.
Any unattached sisters?
A little wine would help. And chocolates.
And still the Republicans claim government doesn't create jobs.
Is she hiring?
I heard she is hard on her staff. But I may have misunderstood.
If it was true, he would have accepted the offer and never spoken a word of it to anyone. That's how we know this is false.
This is just a case of slightly fuzzy recall on the guy's part. What she actually said was "Blow me".
I'm applying for a "job" down at ICE ICE BABY
Looks like somebody needs to be put on the "No fly" list.
The no blow list?
There's just no blowjob like a lesbian blowjob.
Mostly because it's so rare, like a unicorn.
Well fuck, at least she didn't hire Michael (Brownie) Brown.
Heck of a b-j, Brownie.
This is a very difficult time to be a white, penised-American.
Or a white penised American.
Both of you assume facts not in evidence with respect to plaintiff.
I prematurely withdraw my objection.
All white penised Americans should immediately contact their dick doctor while the condition is still treatable.
Yeah, because there's no real reasons to not like Ms. Napolitano's policies…so, let's go after her lesbianic ways.
How come Suzanne Barr never works the cancer-porno machines in the airport? She can invade my privacy and degrade me in public anytime.
“Barr also created a frat-house type atmosphere that is targeted to humiliate and intimidate male employees,” court papers say.
Wait, I'm confused. A woman creating a frat-house type atmosphere, and dudes are complaining?
Really. These lads are a mite confused. Sign me up!
Performance review rating: Zero point zero.
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to feel up airline passengers, son.
I can't believe you threw up *ON* the TSA department head.
Bush appointees, no less.
The old "You wanna suck my cock?! I'll give you 30 minutes to quit that!!!"
We men are sensitive creatures. Women often mistake our silence for approval when they engage in their off-color, sexually charged banter. But we don't approve. In fact, we die a little inside every time we are subjected to it.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
le petit mort, indeed.
Shirley, a sorority-house atmosphere would be much more refined.
It's those Keystone Lite keggers. If she'd just spring for the Blue Ribbon complaints would taper off.
Cocktober Surprise arrives early.
Giant Lezzy… chief of staff…screaming at him that she wanted his ‘c–k in the back of [her] throat.’
Well, the surprise part, anyway.
I threaten to skullf*ck my male colleagues all the time. What's the problem?
Hiring?
*dusts off resume, emails to BSFD*
Yes, but you do it in such a nice way.
"alleged acts include calling one man “in his hotel room and screaming at him that she wanted his ‘c–k in the back of [her] throat.’"
This shit happens to me at work all the time.
Girls always want your clock in the back of their throat? How odd.
So they know when it's time for the schlong.
I'm trying to put together a daylight savings time and gag reflex joke but it's not working out for some reason.
Whew. That makes more sense than "cloak".
Tell me about it. I read it as "chipmunk."
So how is it working at Penthouse Forum?
Schriro enjoyed a long-standing relationship with the secretary.
Now who can prove she actually enjoyed the "relationship." Sometimes, you have to do horrible things to get ahead in this world.
Bow-chicka-whatnow?
The more I read about the right wing obsession with trivia, the happier I am.
The tiny-dicked woman-hating macho men have really been getting angry lately.
How exactly does one do scissors while standing for a long time?
If Hayes attributes everything wrong in the world to Napolitano being a lesbian, I am going to attribute everything wrong in this story to Hayes having a small penis.
OT, but David Rakoff died. I am sad.
Pretty sure this guy was being interviewed as I happened to have NPR on returning from lunch one day months ago; I found his voice engaging and his tale was so moving I meant to follow up online & learn more about him, but then forgot about it. 47, wow. Truly a loss.
I know. Sigh…………………….
Hayes looks like a penis with ears. Therefore he's obviously a goat fucker.
Chupacabra libel! … What? Oh, goatfucker.
Hey, I look like a penis with ears, and I haven't fucked a goat in years!
Plus, Yüksel Aytuğ and the people at the Free Republic don't want to have sex with Janet Napolitano, which is just as important for the head of DHS as it is for Olympic athletes.
Mary Kay Letorneau will be taking over at the Ed. Dept.
However, Lorena Bobbit is going to slash the Ed. Dept budgets.
Lizzie Borden is gonna axe the budget of Mental Health Services.
I thought ED was Bob Dole's department.
At some point you'd think the dude's self respect would have kicked in and stopped him from filing this suit.
You're assuming he has any.
For fuck's sake, he will work for a woman. How much self-respect could he have?
Seriously, you KNOW during the interview process at some point he weighed the age old question "would I or would I not bone her?" If the answer was "no", then why take the job?
Guy must be queer or something.
They start by acting just a little discreet.
Then they're in the skies and they're in the streets.
You can find them in cars or a hotel lobby,
They're easy to find, just look for a body.
Planet of women, oh yeah.
Just a planet of women, oh yeah.
It's driving me insane.
Simple solution: give everyone involved an aspirin and ask them to squeeze it with their knees. This will surely stop any sexual proclivities.
Janet's dad, Leonard Napolitano, is dating Thelma Domenici, sister of retired/disgraced Senator Pete Domenici. Thelma runs an etiquette school. Don't ask me how I know this.
First lesson at etiquette school: no late night calls screaming for cock in the back of your throat. Save that shit for business hours.
That should be a prerequisite. We can't be paying for remediation.
A hand-written note is the more civilized way to ask sensitive questions. Stick figure drawings are a nice touch.
Goddamned for-profit schools are adding $billions to the student debt load…
Is "debt load" a euphemism?
I pine for the days when an intern wanted the Big Dog's dong in the vicinity of her larynx.
Yawn, this lesbian rumor has existed for at least a decade–no one in the civilized parts of Arizona (yes, they exist, though they are definitely endangered) gave a shit. Neither do those of us in civilized America…
the story was broken by by blogger Debbie Schlussel. What a citizen-journalist.
Well it's nice to see her taking a break from her usual insanity of "We must kill all the Muslims!".
""alleged acts include calling one man “in his hotel room and screaming at him that she wanted his ‘c–k in the back of [her] throat.’"
She should be transferred to the Secret Service.
The problem wasn't with the request, it was SCREAMING the request.
And Jane Fonda will play Janet Napolitano in the Lifetime movie that will be made as a result.
To be fair it is difficult to keep your pussy clean when you can only carry 3 ounces of liquid around.
#WINNING
Little known fact: Lesbians do enjoy the odd mancock in the backs of their throats.
Mine is pretty odd; pls send them my way.
Don't we all?
Remember, you have to get it past the teeth before it starts to feel good.
By lesbians, do you mean gay men?
That loud wet squishy sound was every straight male reader spontaneously creaming his jeans.
Why does she want his cake in the back of her throat?
It's "c–k". Obviously a reference to his "cork" which he bought on a trip to Italy. It's possible she wanted his "cask" in the back of her throat. He bought the cask on the same trip.
If liking vag is wrong, I don't want to be right.
We need to bring in Janet Reno to straighten out this whole mess.
lmao
Heh, "straighten."
[/titters].
Even if it's Father/Daughter Day at Chelsea's school?
Stop fooling around in the Wonkette comments, Walnuts!!
Get off my lawn!
There hasn't been a Janet Reno Dance Party in a long time.
"Fuckable" should definitely be on the list of litmus tests for lady feds. It's in the Constitution.
So, the only racists are the color folks, and the only sexual harrassers are the women folk.
My White, Male Brothers! We Must Rise Up And Fight The Power!!!
I going to do the French Army thing and just surrender to the perverted ways of the woman oppressors.
Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Political appointments–how do they fuckin' work?
Is it a defense to point out that this lawsuit contradicts every letter to Penthouse ever written?
I am getting my resume together, any one have the link where send. Besides the back of her throat.
I didn't even know Roseanne Barr had a law enforcement background!
Since my son saw Wicked the other day I reminded him of when we saw the stage performance of "The Wizard of Oz" staring Roseanne Barr and when she melted it washed out the first three rows.
I have something in common with Janet Napolitano…we both have that odd little white streak of hair, although mine is more to the side , but I actually have much more in common with the cock-gobbling Suzanne Barr.
Something under my desk is starting to twitch.
Do you work for Suzanne?
I report to “The Old Bat” and she is out today so I can spend more time on the internet.
It would seem I have something in common with fast-driving Janet, since we both enjoy going lickety-split.
I had lunch with Napolitano on several occasions.
She always got the fish.
Jes' sayin'.
Fingernail length. . .long, normal or trimmed for business?
As head of ICE, Barr should clearly do the honorable thing and self-deport. To my pants.
"Now, who wouldn’t take that in the generous spirit with which it was obviously intended?"
Not if she was subject to lockjaw seizures.
This is just a publicity campaign for Hayes' new erotic novel, "50 Shades Of Wuss".
Yes, but what does he think about the female Olympic athletes?
politically incorrect joke…
Two gay guys are sitting on a park bench on a nice sunny day when they notice a beautiful woman walking in their direction. She is gorgeous. They can't take their eyes off her as she comes down the path, goes past them, and continues out of sight. One of the gay guys then says to the other, "It's times like this I wish I were a lesbian".
OK enough Wonk Porn, I am off to the gym, I will be riding the bike…
Sybian libel?
screaming at him that she wanted his ‘c–k in the back of [her] throat
So many Repubicans have described how the Obama Administration is ramming things* down throats, I'm surprised to hear the (alleged) opposite ramifying.
_____________________
* democratically enacted laws
They do have an obsession with that imagery, don't they?
Me too, but in my mind it ain't laws that are going down throats. Not cheese fries either. The internets has numerous helpful videos and photos on this subject. Like this one (IMO SFW) :http://static8.businessinsider.com/image/4e49467fecad04747a000009/michele-bachmann-corndog.jpg
I would be remiss not to salute your HTML footnote formatting.
Funny. She doesn't look Lebanese.
Neither does surf guitar legend Dick Dale. I could of sworn he was from the land of the Navajo. http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/phill…
So what happened? The DHS guy was afraid to go to the ICE meetings and he got ED? Jeeezus guy, gobble some blue pills, man up and do your duty for your country.
What, just because she's a professional single woman she's a Lesbian? Just because she's a single professional woman with short hair? Just because she's a single professional woman with short hair who dresses in a manly fashion? Just because she's a single professional woman with short hair who dresses in a manly fashion and is in law enforcement?
Seriously, Republicans talking about the former Arizona governor's appearance? Compared to Jan Brewer, she looks like Madame Sarkozy.
It's comforting to know our security is in man hands.
Unless the guy is a committed husband/a Mormon/etc, I really can't think of what's "humiliating" about being pressured into receiving oral sex. Hasn't every piece of feminist writing in the past 50 years been about how horrible porn is for focusing on humiliating fellatrixes*?
About the only "humiliation" I'm seeing for this guy is "ZOMG, her libido his bigger than mine! The world turned upside down!"
*Which is a shame, as a good fellatrix should be prized and treasured.
So, after all those years of Janet Reno, this is news because?
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