SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN  10:58 am August 10, 2012

Barack Obama Adds Playing ‘Chase’ To Busy Schedule Of Basketball And Golf

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Games without frontiers

Man, this guy. It is like he is just a small child, in over his head, whom America’s Greatest (Deadbeat) Dad, Joe Walsh, would like to pick up (“RESPECTFULLY”) and pat on the head and call “son,” because of how he is a child, and if there’s one thing Joe Walsh knows how to do, it is raise children, and if there is another thing Joe Walsh knows how to do, it is how to know that he, Joe Walsh, is totally smarter and more capable and competent in every way than this dumb old president of US America. What else does this self-proclaimed “president” do when he’s not being chased around the Oval Office by terrifying goblins?

Mostly bows to foreign leaders.

Barack Obama greets the Emperor of Japan

What a dick.

 
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{ 166 comments }

nounverb911 August 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

At least Barry pays his child support.

ibwilliamsi August 10, 2012 at 12:30 pm

At least President Obama didn't walk out on his family.

Biff August 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm

But joewalsh wants President Obama to pay his child support, too.

sbj1964 August 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

Let the children lead the way.

Gratuitous World August 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

Out of frame in top picture: Biden impatiently waiting for his turn.

ChernobylSoup August 10, 2012 at 11:02 am

See, now nobody is going to outdo that comment.

LesBontemps August 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

Out of frame in top picture: Biden impatiently waiting for his turn.

Same goes for bottom picture, too.

noodlesalad August 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

Freeze tag, that's a big f'ing deal.

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Just so we're clear: when Biden's turn comes around, does he get to be chased by the cute little girl in the pink dress, or does he get to chase Obama?

Katydid August 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

This is just another example of how Obummer is racist against the white man. Or, in this case, the white children. Impeach!1!

weejee August 10, 2012 at 11:06 am

Impeach!1!

at the very least

sati_demise August 10, 2012 at 11:01 am

wait…WTF did he do with Bushs sunny yellow rug? Wasting our tax dollars again?

lochnessmonster August 10, 2012 at 11:10 am

At least he has a Remington there…

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Not the gun kind of Remington, though; he's trying to take those away from violent crazy people Real Amurricans.

new_pic_for_NEWTer August 10, 2012 at 11:02 am

You all (Amercians) really don't deserve him. You can take our block of wood leader, Mr. Harper and we'll make Barry the forever PM of Canada… no term limits.
What say? You aren't really even using him.

Jus_Wonderin August 10, 2012 at 11:15 am

You can take Barack when you pry him from my excitedly moist and tender hands.

Chet Kincaid_ August 10, 2012 at 11:45 am

"Hands"?

freakishlywrong August 10, 2012 at 11:17 am

We Americans deserve him. "Real" Muricans do not. But no thanks to Harper.

viennawoods13 August 10, 2012 at 11:17 am

Damn. That would be nice. Harper makes Mitt seem lifelike, and is a massive dick.

BlueStateLibel August 10, 2012 at 11:32 am

This is why Americans need to bring guns when they go to Canada! "Officer, this Canadian was threatening to take away our cutest president ever, I had no choice.

GeorgiaBurning August 10, 2012 at 11:35 am

Deal if you toss in Iginla, Price and a 1st round pick.

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Sorry, pal, you can't have President Obama; we need him here.
Besides, you guys already have health care.

ph7 August 10, 2012 at 11:02 am

Shirley then took the President to the staircase, and performed a memorable tap dance together.

CapnFatback August 10, 2012 at 11:08 am
Chet Kincaid_ August 10, 2012 at 11:46 am

Damn you both!!

weejee August 10, 2012 at 11:09 am

Gotta watch yer neutrality there ph7, that post was a bit caustic.

not that Dewey August 10, 2012 at 11:17 am

YOU LYE!

BoatOfVelociraptors August 10, 2012 at 12:45 pm

I'M IN UR BASE, SALTING UR DOODZ!

ChillBill August 10, 2012 at 11:02 am

That little girl will never catch that Kenyan marathon runner.

ChernobylSoup August 10, 2012 at 11:03 am

"Go for it, bitch! Can't catch me. Shit, you're not even trying."

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm

OK, that cracked me up.

elviouslyqueer August 10, 2012 at 11:04 am

Cue wingnut response, to wit, "Lookie! Resident Obummer finally finds some intellectual equals," in 3…2…1…

RadioBowels August 10, 2012 at 11:09 am

The only "work" he's done in the Oval Office this year — I mean aside from plotting an Marxist takeover of America.

Wadisay August 10, 2012 at 11:04 am

I do, however, like the picture of a phallus right above the cowboy. I bet Michelle picked it up for him.

weejee August 10, 2012 at 11:04 am

Poor Joe is having his 49th funk.

JustPixelz August 10, 2012 at 11:05 am

So that's why the office is oval.

eggsacklywright August 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

NASCAR libel.

James Michael Curley August 10, 2012 at 11:17 am

Least he's going in the right direction. All them foreign Olympiists go around the wrong way.

not that Dewey August 10, 2012 at 11:18 am

The President occasionally turns left.

LesBontemps August 10, 2012 at 11:05 am

Yes, but Obama has a lock on the pre-school vote.

jakegittes August 10, 2012 at 11:46 am

Then we need to pass some laws to prevent pre-schoolers from voting. There is so much voter fraud in the pre-schools of Merka.

nonbeliever7 August 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Only cause the pre-schoolers are better at logical comprehension than the wingnuts.

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Also, most of them already have mittens.

x111e7thst August 10, 2012 at 11:06 am

As he may well be related to His Imperial Majesty Bokassa I, Emperor of Central Africa, I do not believe that this Obama can be trusted around children.

Jerri August 10, 2012 at 11:06 am

That's an adorable punch to the ovaries.

Now about those Rent-a-Center lookin' couches…

elviouslyqueer August 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

Paging David Bromstad. You're needed in the Oval Office, stat!

Jerri August 10, 2012 at 11:24 am

Now that's some classy shit.

finallyhappy August 10, 2012 at 3:47 pm

or Nate Berkus with some quick, cute craft ideas!

SorosBot August 10, 2012 at 11:07 am

Mittens meanwhile sends small children screaming in terror.

Mumbletypeg August 10, 2012 at 11:30 am

Ann will have you know he was given to romper-room antics with the kiddilies — before he got reprogrammed.

Geminisunmars August 10, 2012 at 12:05 pm

And a few of us adults, too.

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Can you blame them? He was all like:
"If you don't give me all your toys and pway wif me, I'll send your daddy's job to China and he'll have no more moneys, and then your famiwy will be sad and cwy."

Oh, you mean NOW?

not that Dewey August 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

What is it about Republicans and screaming children?

RadioBowels August 10, 2012 at 11:07 am

Meh, Cheney and Dubya would take turns chasing each other around the Oval Office all the time.

Geminisunmars August 10, 2012 at 12:05 pm

While eating pretzels.

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:28 pm

It was hilarious.
Cheney would stick out his foot and trip Dumbass *every single time*, and Dumbass *never ever* caught on.
It was better than Charlie Brown with the football.

TxSpinyLizrd August 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Your avatar is awesome.

RadioBowels August 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Our god is an awesome god.

bobbert August 10, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Still your dog, right?

CrunchyKnee August 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

Dude has no respect for the solemn dignity of the oval office, at least Bush looked presidential while doing fat lines of blow off the desk.

sbj1964 August 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

Obama has spent the last 3 years playing with immature little children(Congress).

JustPixelz August 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

Nothing on the desk but a phone. Mine looked like that once. (sighs)

BarackMyWorld August 10, 2012 at 11:11 am

More room to put his feet up!

Barb_ August 10, 2012 at 11:09 am

Barack is bowing to the little boy to show him where the "made in Kenya" label is hidden.

freakishlywrong August 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

He's on one of his apology jags again. Bowing and scraping to our enemies.

Chichikovovich August 10, 2012 at 11:26 am

"Wow, Mr. President! I really does say "666"!

chicken_thief August 10, 2012 at 11:55 am

Two quick rubs of Obummerz head and look what happened to the little Swedish tyke…

stncmchnc August 10, 2012 at 12:00 pm

"It's ok daddy, they're not sixes, they're nines."

Baconzgood August 10, 2012 at 11:11 am

DUDE! He's just fucking awsome. If that doesn't make you feel all fuzzy in the heart what the fuck would? If there was a puppy in the photograph I would puke a rainbow that tastes like cookies!

IncenseDebate August 10, 2012 at 11:17 am

I did that last St. Patrick's Day!

CindynEncinitas August 10, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Oh, and all I got were green beer farts. I has a sad…

cromiller August 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Warm and fuzzies in the heart confirmed!

BigSkullF*ckingDog August 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

"Sorry kids, you guys are pretty much gonna be fucked when you grow up. Sucks to be you! Let's play duck duck goose."

freakishlywrong August 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

History's Greatest Monster.

el_donaldo August 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

"See, if this were a real race, I'd be me and you'd be Mitt Romney."

Dr_Zoidberg August 10, 2012 at 11:14 am

I love my adorkable President.

IncenseDebate August 10, 2012 at 11:16 am

Watch Bams! Kid looks like she has chalk in her hand!

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm

and skittles

Goonemeritus August 10, 2012 at 11:16 am

That little girl was just trying to get Barry to answer a few questions about his first marriage.

Beowoof August 10, 2012 at 11:18 am

The gay marriage to the Pakistani guy?

Baconzgood August 10, 2012 at 11:24 am

"I wanna inspect the long form birf certificate"

freakishlywrong August 10, 2012 at 11:19 am

I really don't know how you hate this guy. But they do.

Boojum August 10, 2012 at 11:26 am

Inadequate treatment for mental illness.

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:30 pm

a la Dr. Zoidberg: "Oh, right. The skin, the skin."

bobbert August 10, 2012 at 5:59 pm

They don't really hate him. They hate his skin color. Oh, and he's a Democrat.

Buzz Feedback August 10, 2012 at 11:20 am

I've never seen Mikulski wear pink.

finallyhappy August 10, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Hey, senator Barb libel!! Them's fightin words here in Montgomery County!!

deanbooth August 10, 2012 at 11:21 am

Did she catch him by his toe?

ProgressiveInga August 10, 2012 at 11:41 am

F
T
W
!

Chet Kincaid_ August 10, 2012 at 12:01 pm

When I was a kid, we always said "tiger". By the time I heard about the other version, I was too jaded to be shocked by you people.

nonbeliever7 August 10, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Hell, I only changed it to tiger when I registered to vote Democratic in the mid-70's. I still cringe when I hear some little kid start "Eeny, meeny…"

Now I'm wondering, how many wonkerati have no idea of what this is about.

MozakiBlocks August 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Well it was always tiger when I was little too. However, being sufficiently quick on the uptake, I get where you're going.

deanbooth August 10, 2012 at 1:27 pm

What is really depressing is that there is a racist saying to fit any occasion.

bobbert August 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm

When I was a kid, I only remember "tiger", ever. But, OTOH, I was aware that there was another version, so I suppose I must have heard it sometime.

And then there were Brazil nuts, of course.

christianmuslin August 10, 2012 at 11:22 am

The yellow carpet from the Bush oval office likely helps fill the "oval office" in the Bush presidential museum. They had to put something in it besides a jar of pretzels!

anniegetyerfun August 10, 2012 at 11:34 am

Didn't they have some nice black and white photos of dead Iraqis to hang up in there as well? Plus, Dick Cheney's first few mechanical hearts?

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:31 pm

and Jar Fetus.

bobbert August 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

and Mission Fucked-Up Accomplished.

mrblifil August 10, 2012 at 11:22 am

What a jerk. Not only is he beating a poor defenseless toddler in the race, but he has apparently lapped her. Worst. President. Evar.

OneYieldRegular August 10, 2012 at 11:22 am

What!? Joe Walsh has been transformed overnight into a small Black child? Perhaps there is a god after all.

jakegittes August 10, 2012 at 11:23 am

Teaching the little white girl the game of "Catch the Runaway Slave."

actor212 August 10, 2012 at 11:25 am

if there’s one thing Joe Walsh knows how to do, it is raise children

You plant a seed. You walk away. How hard is that?

anniegetyerfun August 10, 2012 at 11:34 am

He's just avoiding being one of those overly-protective, helicopter parents that I keep reading about.

Angry_Marmot August 10, 2012 at 11:36 am

Penis goes in; court orders come out. You can't explain it.

bobbert August 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Seems to me, he don't wanna talk about it.

Boojum August 10, 2012 at 11:25 am

In Russia, President chase you!

James Michael Curley August 10, 2012 at 11:25 am

Poser's just trying to lay claim to JFK.

TootsStansbury August 10, 2012 at 11:26 am

This is so sweet I can't snark.

Ok I'll try.

A is for Alice
Tackled by agents
B is for Basil
Hit by a drone

elburritodeluxe August 10, 2012 at 11:26 am

Barry Soetero Obama taught Constitutional Law at Chicago University (yawn, boring, stupid). But Congressman Joe Walsh taught at Oakton Community College and the Hebrew Theological College! Both are colleges, apparently.

NoBama allegedly graduated with honors (show us the transcripts) from Harvard Law School (derf derf) and was President of the Law Review (quotas!). But America's Deadbeat Dad attended the Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute and later got a Master of Public Policy at the University of Chicago!

TribecaMike August 10, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Hebrew National would be more like it.

bobbert August 10, 2012 at 5:56 pm

But not, I'm pretty sure, Hebrew Israeli.

Mittens Howell, III August 10, 2012 at 11:27 am

Oh, look Mitt–there's the Human candidate.

johnnyzhivago August 10, 2012 at 11:27 am

Is that a statue of Malcolm X riding a velociraptor in the background?

BoatOfVelociraptors August 10, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Is it on a boat?

hippie13 August 11, 2012 at 8:22 am

Thats not "riding"

anniegetyerfun August 10, 2012 at 11:29 am

If I was capable of ovulating right now, I would have just done so.

Limeylizzie August 10, 2012 at 11:30 am

I adore this man, I don't always agree with him, but I have never wavered in my love of him.He is a really good man and don't get me started on FLOTUS I would take a bullet for herself.

IncenseDebate August 10, 2012 at 11:33 am

I'm with you. Best prez and FLOTUS evah!

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Agreed. I think there is something in most decent human beings that cannot help instinctively responding to the basic goodness in people, of which our President is an inspiring example.

SorosBot August 10, 2012 at 11:32 am

That toddler girl would make a better VP pick than Palin, and probably whoever Romney ends up choosing.

PsycWench August 10, 2012 at 11:32 am

Those kids might vote Democratic one day but Joe Walsh never will.

sudsmckenzie August 10, 2012 at 11:32 am

Is this the annual white house "Bin Laden" hunt?

Typodong3 August 10, 2012 at 11:34 am

Clearly this is a case where the Stand Your Ground laws would apply.

SpeedoFart August 10, 2012 at 11:35 am

That foreign leader is a-freaking-dorable!

cheetojeebus August 10, 2012 at 11:38 am

Check out that little runner, I don't see a real pride in her country in that little pink dress. In fact it says the opposite. Where's the flag? Typical Liberal athlete, Hates the USA.

annettaj August 10, 2012 at 11:38 am

That baby is doing bath salts! Run the eff outta there Barack!

Angry_Marmot August 10, 2012 at 11:41 am

Nom nom noms.

James Michael Curley August 10, 2012 at 11:41 am

Here is a tip so that we can get nominations as the 2012 EPPY Awards "Best Food Website".

If you are on a tight budget, buy Montery PepperJack Cheese or Blue Cheese; you can't tell if they are moldy.

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

True story: I once had to go to a work-related luncheon which also included a very young co-worker who had grown up in a very poor neighborhood. She warned me off the bleu cheese because it was "all fulla mold".

humanmanc August 10, 2012 at 11:48 am

Jerry Sandusky while touring the Oval office was overheard while eyeballing the Great Chase: Ewwww..its a girl chasing Lil'Bary TightPants..where be the boys?
Too soon?
From My Humorous Grave Stripped Of All God Given Glory,
Joe Paterno

jakegittes August 10, 2012 at 11:50 am

Much later, the little girl ran for so long and so hard that she melted into butter. Then, the Obamas enjoyed their pancake breakfast from the butter that the little girl was reduced to.

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I loved that story when I was a tiny Tessie, because a red jacket, blue trousers, purple shoes — PURPLE SHOES???!!! — AND pancakes.

Advn2rgirl August 10, 2012 at 4:34 pm

My grandma loved that story so much she named our lab "Sambo," and we're black.

James Michael Curley August 10, 2012 at 6:53 pm

There was a Sambos chain of restaurants in the NY/NJ area up until my late teens. I think they disappeared while I was in the Army and away at college. Sambo on the logo was clearly SA Indian but with very pronounced highlighted almond shaped eyes. The only one I ever went to is now a Denny's so sort of same same when it comes to racial or ethnic tolerance.

HistoriCat August 10, 2012 at 11:51 am

I call bullshit on the top photo. A black man running away from a white female? I think we all know what those people are like.

Chet Kincaid_ August 10, 2012 at 11:57 am

Hitler played with Goebbel's children all the time, but he wasn't a traitor to Germany!!1!1!1

James Michael Curley August 10, 2012 at 12:22 pm

For years afterward the Goebbels children got free mental health care under that liberal Marshall Plan.

Chet Kincaid_ August 10, 2012 at 12:25 pm
James Michael Curley August 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I was being facetious.

Chet Kincaid_ August 10, 2012 at 3:05 pm

They didn't have a thing to worry about, I'll grant you that!

natoslug August 10, 2012 at 3:03 pm

IT WUZ THELIBRUL HELTH PLAN WUT KILT THEM!!!1!!!!

whiskeybaby August 10, 2012 at 11:59 am

You just wait until next week when Mittens releases the holiday snaps of him visiting his money in the Cayman Islands…they're so touching, you guys, your hearts will melt!

hagajim August 10, 2012 at 11:59 am

Joe Walsh….didn't he spend the last year Rocky Mountain Way?

James Michael Curley August 10, 2012 at 12:09 pm

"Stormy Weather" pretty much about Bill Robinson's life had him, Cab Calloway, Fats Waller and Lena Horne and if that wasn't enough – the Nicholas Brothers. One of my ten favorite pictures but I don't like the 'lived happily ever after' ending as Robinson was almost penniless when he made it, did not get compensated anywhere near like Cab Calloway and Fats Waller did and died less than a year later from chronic bronchitis and pneumonia.

And to correct an often misstated fact, "Mr. Bojangles" was not about Bill Robinson but about a elderly white man in a New Orleans drunk tank but could be the story of his life after he was dropped by Hollywood when Shirley Temple's tits popped out.

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm

"One of my ten favorite pictures but I don't like the 'lived happily ever after' ending"

Is that the movie where Bessie Smith is singing, and the guy takes the money out of her stocking garter? I always thought that if that were real life instead of a movie, Bessie would have knocked the guy on his ass, taken her money back, and then, just for trying to be a wise guy, taken *his* money.

James Michael Curley August 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

If its Bessie Smith, who died in 1936 or 1937, it was probably St. Louis Blues a movie vaguely based on her life and the movie which went a long way to create the African-American movie industry that thrived in the 1930’s – late 1940’s and its popularity helped kick off the Harlem Renaissance as white people had to go uptown to see it at the Harlem theaters. I don’t remember the stocking scene but she trash talks her ‘boy friend’ who is a pimp and throws him out then sings St. Louis Blues.” “Stormy Weather” was 1948 and had a wider circulation because Lena Horne had been well accepted in Cabin in the Sky which was distributed to white rural audiences despite it being an all black movie (Vinent Minnelli pushed for that). Also St. Louis Blues both the song and/in the movie is the only surviving film of Bessie Smith. It was made in 1929 and halfway through it was pushed into the new ‘talky’ technology or else she would not have had a chance to sing.

ElPinche August 10, 2012 at 12:10 pm

You'd run from Honey Boo Boo , too.

Chet Kincaid_ August 10, 2012 at 12:18 pm

He runs screaming from the white baby, but lets the colored kid pet him?! The hatred of "whitey" just leaps off those photos!!1!!

Chet Kincaid_ August 10, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Seriously guys, the fairy-wing social worker baby is freaking me out!!

Limeylizzie August 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm

I don't have that on my Wonkette , I have a freaky, bi-racial, blue-eyed weeping boy/girl social worker ad.

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I have an ad for some book.
They must have figured out that I'm not only a Book Geek, but a child-hating old witch.

finallyhappy August 10, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I have a united credit card ad, a book ad, An AU weekend study ad and Kohls- we get different ads- that is strange??

Baba_NinjaCat12 August 10, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Has Joe Walsh add 'arrested by law enforcement' over his unpaid child support in his busy schedule?

johnnymeatworth August 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm

So he's playing Red Light Green Light trying to drum up support for a traffic appropriations bill?

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Is that playing the "race" card?

bobbert August 10, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Why isn't this receiving the upfists it deserves?

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I like the President's new running mate.

MozakiBlocks August 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm

The story behind the second photo – http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/24/us/politics/ind

Still gets me every time I see it.

TribecaMike August 10, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I love the last sentence!

keepmovin August 10, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I was told there would be ice cream!!

tessiee August 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Even a child-hating old witch like me can squee over the top picture. The President's body language is such that I can practically hear what's going on.
Kid: I'll catch you!
President: Uh oh, here comes the rough tough creampuff. I'd better run faster! (hee hee)

bobbert August 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

If he doesn't hide behind the curtains, he's doing it wrong.

DahBoner August 10, 2012 at 2:04 pm

At least he's not petting pussy, like Clinton did!

SORRY SOCKS LUVVERS

ttommyunger August 10, 2012 at 11:21 pm

The only bad thing about this piece was mentioning Turd of the Year, Joe "Welsh".

hippie13 August 11, 2012 at 8:21 am

Can he really stand up to terrorism if he is afraid to bitch slap a 3 year old?

deliman4 August 11, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Jest another black family livin in public housing

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