this guy

America’s Dad, Joe Walsh, Has Some Fatherly Advice For Barack Obama

Ahh, so now we know how Joe Walsh breaks the news to junior that’s he’s going to have to procure his own bread, perhaps from the trash can, because daddy’s vacation ran a little over-budget. And Joe Walsh, being Joe Walsh, would display his masterful paternalistic skill set in a way that involved referring to the President of the United States as “son.” Rep. Joe Walsh, who is several months younger than Barack Obama, wants to pat him on the head and call him son and tell him to get a job working for someone. The liberals (****SIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHH*****) will take issue with this, since they don’t appreciate the truth.

Now is this something or is this something? The choice of rhetoric and the demographic to whom he’s speaking tell us that this may be something:

At a campaign barbecue in his district Sunday, Walsh was explaining what he hopes will be the tea party’s role in the election:

“There’s something different on the ground, and I think it’s going to overtake us all again, think it’s going to overtake the political class. I think it’s going to respectfully pick this president up and pat him on the head and say, son, son, son, Mr. President, you were never ready to be president, now go home and work for somebody and find out how the real world works.”

[Talking Points Memo]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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      1. mlle_derp

        The sad thing is I wrote that after reading the headline, but before reading the text… Un-fucking-believable.

  1. Hera Sent Me

    Joe Walsh knows how the real world works – powerful, unscrupulous men rule; innocent victims and defenseless children drool.

  2. TribecaMike

    My best friend's name is Joe Walsh, and it's always a let-down to discover the wacky headlines aren't about him.

    1. Terry

      I keep thinking it's John Walsh, the America's Most Wanted host. Then I wonder what the heck happened to drive him to this crap.

      1. Negropolis

        Well, John Walsh is pretty far to the right, himself, which isn't surprising given where he's from.

        1. Terry

          True, but he's a bit more image conscious after all these years in the public eye than is old Joe.

  3. Misty Malarky

    Is that the America's Most Wanted guy, or is it the secret real idenditiy of 'Joe the Plumber'?

    I forget.

    1. sullivanst

      He seems like he's trying to be America's Greatest Shame, although the competition there is fierce.

  4. SorosBot

    Because Mitt Romney is ready to be President, what with his vast experience as a single term governor and doing absolutely nothing else that in any qualifies him to be President.

    1. chicken_thief

      With his financial wizardry he could move much of the USA assets off shore so Congress won't know where the money is and therefore, won't spend it foolishly.

      1. sewollef

        I still find that story hard to believe. It's as if he had no comprehension how that could look, let alone the taking money from actual, real-live terrorists and killers part.

        Is it time to start drinking yet?

        1. mlle_derp

          Yes, it is time to start drinking.

          Don't forget to raise a glass to Mitt since the poor sumbitch can't have any. Heheheh.

    2. chicken_thief

      His international experience is also a major plus – as his recent three country tour proved.

    1. SorosBot

      It's that strange kid who said to him, "When you comin' home, Dad, I don't know when, but we'll get together then. You know we'll have a good time then."

  5. SoBeach

    Hopefully the voters will respectfully pick Joe up and give him the boot. Or disrespectfully. Doesn't matter to me.

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yeah…I kind of noticed that ole Joe is dressed up in the dead beat dad special while calling a man who is older than him with more accomplishments in his little finger than Joe has in his life, "son". Then I got to wondering…think his ex is going to take exception to this and sue him yet again for failure to pay child support? This is akin to rubbing her nose in shit, after all.

  6. coolhandnuke

    Walsh said the same to his sons back in 2006–the last time he dropped by to say hi and cut a child-support check.

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      It's a bit like Roy Cohn or Karl Rove writing a book telling single guys how to pick up women…just sick and wrong. His ex should take this videotape to court and sue him again while claiming "he's willing to call the President son but not take care of his own children!" I'd pay money to watch this little shitbags expression whenever she hauls his ass in.

  7. Barb_

    Joe, you should have put that Dorito in your pocket instead of tossing it to the ground. Your kids need to eat too, you bum.

  8. SorosBot

    And I am so fucking sick of the right-wing's bullshit meme that Obama hasn't had a real job. Dipshits, being a college professor is a real job. So is being a community organizer. So is being a lawyer; at a major firm no less. Meanwhile, the man he is running against actually has never worked at a real job one day in his life; he went straight from college to being a corporate executive, and now lives off his investments.

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Hey now…Romney had to work for his living. All those years ago, squeezing out between the right thighs was hard work…it's a big fuckin' deal. Every child of wealth has to drag themselves out by sheer will that poor children could never understand! Just by doing that kind of work and successfully drawing breath they deserve getting to talk down to us and all those inherited billions as well! You anti-birth class warrior!

  9. Callyson

    Forget using Doritos as a prop, Walsh–pay your child support so your kids can have the occasional snack.


  10. ph7

    There’s something different on the ground, and I think it’s going to overtake us all again, think it’s going to overtake the political class

    That something is the steaming pile of horseshit you deposited.

  11. viennawoods13

    From his site:
    "Joe began his career with Jobs For Youth, working in inner-city Chicago teaching high school dropouts basic academic and job skills; he worked on state and local public policy issues with the Heartland Institute, a free market think tank; he ran the Daniel Murphy Scholarship Fund, a Chicago-based privately funded school voucher program which gives high school scholarships to low-income Chicago eighth graders; he helped launch the Legislative Education Action Drive and Americans for Limited Government, national organizations working to get fiscally conservative state legislators elected in targeted states and advance the causes of limited government; he raised funds for and helped advance the cause of school choice for two of the nation’s leading school choice organizations, the American Education Reform Council and the Milton & Rose Friedman Foundation; and he continues to build support for an international charity which uses education and micro-enterprise to deliver Nicaraguan children from poverty, the Fabretto Children’s Foundation."
    I don't know. Sounds like his job experience isn't much different from "community organizer".

    1. chicken_thief

      Oh, shit, don't tell him that. The dumb fuck will start thinking he's POTUS material.

    2. bikerlaureate

      Excellent catch. Thanks.

      I don't see any reason to heed Joe's thoughts on the competency of anyone, much less a President who's already been serving for 3+ years.

    3. TribecaMike

      The list of directors at the Fabretto Children’s Foundation sounds a bit fishy. Some of the member's companies haven't existed in several years.

      1. viennawoods13

        The really funny part is that it's a foundation " to deliver Nicaraguan children from poverty." Joe Walsh, working to deliver children from poverty. The irony is crushing.

        1. HistoriCat

          Sure he's delivering them "from poverty" but to where? Is Walsh Mitt's South American connection in the child sex ring I've read about on the internet? Neither one of them has ever denied it.

    4. ChessieNefercat

      "Sounds like his job experience isn't much different from "community organizer".

      Well, yeah, but Joe's white. So it counts as a real job.

    5. kakotechnia

      The community organizer would call the kids "nontraditional/unmatriculated students" and not "dropouts"

  12. Callyson

    Also–hey, deadbeat dad, if you're interested in how things work in the real world, why don't you have a chat with one of the people who got laid off after Bain's predatory takeover of their companies? Oh, and they lost their pensions too. Guess who profited from that?


  13. anniegetyerfun

    It's cute how he realizes what a truly terrible thing he is saying and tacks on a "Mr. President" just to deflect criticism. It won't work, but it's adorable.

  14. Baconzgood

    Someone has to say it and it looks like it falls on Baconzgood

    "And I fucking hate the Eagles man…"

    -The Dude-

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Sorry, I was briefing the colonel. He doesn't like it when I Wonk on my blackberry, especially when it's a one-on-one meeting.

  15. anniegetyerfun

    As someone once patiently explained to me, you can call a stranger "son" if you are a 62 year-old State Trooper with a sagging belly and aviator sunglasses who just pulled someone over for going 90 in a 45MPH zone. Only then.

    1. sewollef

      So, doing 60 in a school zone is cool then….?

      Also, although I'm not 62 y-o, can I still pull over Mr. Walsh and give him a thorough 'talking to', if you get my meaning.

      1. viennawoods13

        Only if you are on your way to drop off that girl at the swingset on your way back from the abortionplex.

        1. thefrontpage

          Only if you say, in a slow Southern draw, "What we've got heah….is failure to communicate. Son."

  16. TootsStansbury

    Goddamnit I am sick to death of all of these fucking fuckers!one!eleventy! Did the popularity of fracking do something to the nation's water supply? How are these tea party assholes possible?!

  17. iburl

    … Because Mitt Romney's experiences taking credit for Staples, being a member of a silly cult, being a spoiled brat rich kid, taking money from Death Squads, teaching horses how to dance, and flip flopping like a caffeinated flounder on a George Foreman grill is superb real world experience for being president.

  18. Baconzgood

    Who miked this? Hellen Keller? Robert Altman? Ludwig Van Beethoven? It sounds like Charlie Brown's teacher talking.

  19. Grief_Lessons

    This guy is OK with me. It's good for morale to have a real, honest-to-God contemptible asshole on the other team.

  20. Goonemeritus

    100 years from now they will refer to this period in political history as the Great Moron Uprising.

  21. pinkocommi

    I really expected racists to come to terms withthe fact that a blah guy is President and doing a pretty good job of it. But no. They just can't let their hatred go….

  22. Mumbletypeg

    Before you go defending your words though you're "several months behind" Barry in age, Joe, prove you're a man by following through on the child support payments that are several, several more months behind.

  23. SmutBoffin

    The most noxious thing to come out of this campaign (and all the smaller, Tea Party-involved campaigns leading up to it) is that if you didn't work in the private sector (DOING BUSINESS!!!!) then you suck at everything.

    Dumbest campaign ever. Thanks, Deadbeat Joe, you clinched it.

  24. BeefHardcake

    Man. Just when I think Joe Walsh has hit the bottom of the barrel of paternalistic overbearing jerkitude, he starts digging. How did that assclown ever get elected, anyhow?

  25. elburritodeluxe

    When he loses to Tammy Duckworth, I want video cameras in place to show the Capital Police evicting him from the Congressional Offices where he's been squatting. The sad cot where he tried to lure many an intern, the sad little box he uses to store his clothes…

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Hahaha…yes, what it would be to work for the Capital Police and request to be on the detail who gets to evict Walsh. I mean you could like…toss out his copies of Hustler, pore his cheap booze down the drain and use the disposal on his weeks worth of chilimac. The strain of all those items being destroyed might just send America's deadbeat dad off the deep end. Or, even better…the process server who gets to deliver another lawsuit over failure to pay child support…Joe Walsh is like a deep well of schaudenfreude.

  26. BlueStateLibel

    If being president of the United States for three and half years isn't a "real job," what is? I imagine after Obama is re-elected, after he writes another best-selling book, serves as DNC chairman, and God knows what else, they're still going to be trotting out this weird "no real job" crap.

    1. actor212

      "I built three businesses from the ground up, and took them public, but no one calls me entrepreneur.

      I saved thousands of lives with my charitable work, but no one calls me philanthropist."

      But suck one cock…."

      1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

        Eh….she just donates an egg to the company that builds and maintains Romney bot every now and then and they use biomechanics to engineer a bot-child. The problem is, they keep using the same model which is why Romney's sons all look like the same 35 year old guy.

  27. timbo71351

    Who the fuck does this arrogant dickwad think he is to talk that way about the POTUS?
    And who outside of a bunch of cracker racists thinks Obama isn't ready for prime time after serving as president for 3+ years?

  28. seppdecker

    Someone needs to respectfully pick up Walsh by the short curlies and explain to him how parenting works. Maybe if he can figure that out, we'll move onto what Congress is supposed to do.

  29. widestanceromance

    Don't you wish they would just say "it" already? Willard just cold calls Obama a ****** at the debates. Just do it, and stop pretending.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Well, I'm sure they're thinking it, so odds are it's only a matter of time before someone pulls a slip of the lip.

        1. widestanceromance

          Joe would have gone that route, but his audience would be too stupid to know what that is.

      1. widestanceromance

        Honestly, we might get that chance. Willard can barely keep it together in his insulated world of handlers. On live TV, debating a man with an actual brain. I can see it happening.

        1. Chet Kincaid_

          "It's like I told the one colored boy at Cranbrook: the school isn't ready for you to date white girls. Now, by analogy, the Presidency is white girls, Barack."

  30. Designer_Rants

    Respectfully pick up the president? The teaparty is so respectful. I wonder when Joe-son is gonna respectfully pay his ex-wife (the Smart One) for when he was "not ready" to become a dad. Dad Tax's awaitin'.

  31. JustPixelz

    OMFG! I am wearing the exact same outfit. Red T-shirt with khaki cargo shorts. Is my real name William JustPixelz Walsh? Is that why the ladies on the Rascals keep smiling at me? Is that what my ass looks like?

  32. pdiddycornchips

    I guess it's okay to abandon your children financially and emotionally as long as you hate the gheys and eat lots of Chick a Fil. We are a nation of idiots. We elect super idiots because who else is qualified to rule a nation of idiots?

  33. finallyhappy

    I think if I saw him , I would smack him. If the regular police were around(DC), they would applaud but maybe not the Congressional guys.

  34. elviouslyqueer

    Since I can't say this to my boss (even though I would dearly love to), I'll just say this to Old Joe:

    Fuck the fucking fuck off, you motherfucking fucking fuck.

  35. rickmaci

    Combat Warrior vs. Deadbeat Dad. Come on Illinois 8th. Let's make sure the Teabagger gets steeped by boiling mad Dem voters. Tammy D is good for you and good for U.S.

  36. Mumbly_Joe

    So having watched the video:

    1) Joe Walsh has no idea what "respectfully" means. But we already knew that.

    2) I agree with Joe Walsh, that the Tea Party "movement" is extremely likely to go and call the President of the United States, "son". We've found a point of agreement!!

    3) I don't think you're supposed to make the racist implications of that "never had a real job" lie (namely, that "those people" are only fit to work in subordinate positions, so any black person's career that involves leadership, independence or entrepreneurship is necessarily illegitimate) quite that explicit.

    4) Joe Walsh is still a giant asshole and also too an enormous bigot.

  37. Exhausted66

    President Obama ran against John McCain and Sarah Palin.
    Below is a handy list of all the "real jobs" they ever held.

  38. MrsConclusion

    Idn he cute? Innit sweet, the way he talks to the folks like they're bright ten-year-olds? Isn't it breathtaking, that he can call Obama "son" three times ("Ere the cock crows, three times wilt thou call the President 'son' and fucking embarrass thyself, O cretin.") and not have the tiniest particle of awareness of what that means?

    And that the crowd of good Christian idiots applauds him?

  39. Negropolis

    It's adorable watching them search for words now that they can't say "nigger" in polite company, bless their hearts. Their little lizard brains are overheating having to come up with creative, racial insults.

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