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I'm such a pig
According to frothy wingnut internet rag Newsmax, the desperate and comically flailing Romney campaign is about to “unleash” bellicose cartoon human Donald Trump to help Mitt Romney win the vote of angry white men who make less than $35,000 a year. In the article by discredited conservative fabricator Ed Klein, the author of “Amateur: Barak Obama in the White House” claims that an insider close to Mitt’s “brain trust” told him that. And is Trump up for the job? And how! It’s already brought him attention on Fox News where he claimed that “they want me” at the RNC Convention. The formal invitation hasn’t come yet but that’s only because he’s yet to have his formal unleashing. The proof of his importance, he announced, is that the “Sarasota Republican Party” will name him “Statesman of the Year,” at an event the night before. Wow! Sarasota Republicans. That is big. UPDATED BELOW!

When Trump’s not talking about himself, which is usually only when he’s shoving a blood-rare filet mignon down his throat, he’s advising the Romney campaign. He does this through the media (Fox) which is the just the easiest and most direct way. His latest advice to Mittens: promise to release your tax returns –– but only after Obama makes his college records public. College records, what does that have to do with the birther thing? Oh yeah, Obama’s Kenyan AND too stupid to really get into Harvard. (Plus, when he was supposed to be at Columbia, he was actually a gay-married CIA agent in Pakistan.)

Right, so college records and tax returns are obviously the same thing, but did you know Mitt Romney hasn’t released his college records either? Leave it to TRUMP! to negotiate the greatest deals, the really classiest deals, the most gold-plated of all the deals. Trump for Secretary of State, obviously. There can be no other way.

UPDATE! NewsMax now “reports” Trump has “declined” an offer to speak at the convention in Tampa, according to “sources with knowledge of convention plans.” Which would be, of course, Donald Trump. Haha, sure he did.

[Newsmax via Breitbart]

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